what you know about dat life

anonymous asked:

I saw a note on an Artist's byf a while back saying i couldn't follow if I was following u or someone named Lackady. I was just wondering what that was about. its ok if you don't wanna explain. I think their name was lemon something.

Uh. The only person I know of who that could be would be calypsolemon, though I didn’t know I was on their read before you follow. The calypsolemon thing is a.. eh it’s a bit of a story.

So basically my irl best friend Dani, who’s blog is @lackaday met calypsolemon online and they ended up in something of a bad platonic relationship. Calypso isn’t abusive but they and dani were just at particular points in their lives where their eccentricities matched in a disastrously bad manner. To be specific, Dani was going through a period of being unable to assert herself or say no to friends for various reasons. From what I understand, calypso was going through a period of really needing/craving attention. So the dynamic that ended up happening was constant very demanding communication which Dani was overwhelmed by but was too anxious to stop. Every time she tried to bring up issues in their relationship Calypso would respond with a wave of genuine self hatred which only exacerbated the situation. I was mostly an outside observer to all this, but I and the rest of her friends could see how toxic it was becoming and advised Dani to cut off ties with them (which Dani wanted/needed to do in the first place. She came to us for reassurance it was okay and she wasn’t a bad person for needing to), as the situation had gotten to the point of really hurting dani’s mental health.

I only spoke directly to calypso three or four times. The reason I’m on the list I assume is due to two instances. First, We had an argument about a particular ace-spectrum label wherein they assumed I was saying they were against the making of new terms (which I neither stated nor thought to be true so the whole conversation was very confusing to me). I was basically arguing that it was a term which had it’s uses for certain people, where as Calypso was assuming the creator of the term hadn’t thought it through carefully and it was therefor simply inaccurate. I didn’t realize they were perceiving the conversation as a fight rather than a discussion until it had snowballed.

The other time was around the time Dani was breaking ties with calypso. I was following calypso’s blog (because they weren’t not friends they were just talking less) and I saw a post about Lackaday claiming she was.. I believe abelist. It was one of the ist words. Now at this point in time Lackaday was working a lot and incredibly stressed and depressed and on this hell site claims like that can get you suicide bated. So I took this very seriously and asked calpypso what they meant. The entire thing spiraled from there.

Essentially, Calypso is or was fictionkin. I don’t believe in kin, fiction or otherwise, and I’ve seen no evidence it is a good coping mechanism. This is coming from someone who used to use maladaptive daydreaming as an unhealthy coping mechanism. I’ve seen no evidence scientifically it is good and my personal experience is also rather unfavorable towards it. More over, calypso in particular had said a lot of worrying things on their kin blog which had began to spiral more and more into really scary territory (scared for them not as in they were scary). I stated plainly in that conversation that it wasn’t okay to make claims about people (they were vaguing but anyone who had followed their for more than a week would know exactly who they were talking about) and that they seemed to be getting only more and more miserable the longer they used kin as a coping mechanism.

More over, Calypso had been stealing a lot of the headcannons Dani came up with and claiming they were their kin memories which is kind of a lame thing to do. Stealing other people’s ideas and claiming they originated from you is not cool no matter what the context. Doing that had really hurt Dani’s feelings and trust. The whole kin thing was a major point of contention between them, though you’d have to ask Dani for more about that. I can back up Dani’s claim that Calypso was stealing headcannons and claiming them as their own (or their memories.) because one of the headcannons mentioned on their blog at the time was something I came up with and told to Dani who in turn shared it with calypso. So I know for a fact it was happening.

When it became clear this was getting no where and I was just making them more stressed I told them I was sorry and blocked them. I only did the blocking because they were on a lot of the same tags at the time and I didn’t want to interact with any of their stuff if they didn’t want me to (I don’t pay close attention to the people I reblog things from sometimes). I was trying to respect their wishes. Nothing more.

So yeah. That’s the story. It sounds pretty bad but both Dani and Calypso were rather young. Most people have a shitty dramatic relationship around 19 or 20 years old. It’s part of the learning process. Also keep in mind all my info is very one sided. I am Dani’s friend and I barely knew calypso beyond what information they presented online, so I don’t know their side of it that well. If you want to follow them they’d likely be more comfortable if you unfollowed me first. They are (I assume still) a very talented artist so might be worth it. Cheers.