what would i even do with that

Can I just say that the day Harry’s concert tickets go on sale, may all of us who have stuck around with our blogs through these last several months of hardly any news; those of us who still got on everyday and hoped for any table scraps of information; those of us who aimlessly scrolled tumblr day after day for sometimes weeks without new pictures of harry; those of us whose physical happiness was somehow tied to knowing that harry was out there doing something but not knowing what or when it would ever even come out….may all those bitches who remained loyal get the best tickets. amen. 

anonymous asked:

Bucky my dude, Avenger animals was awesome, but what about Sam?? Sure, he's a falcon but I bet you have other ideas...

i guess ill do the newbie avengers too. 

sam would be a dolphin. fast and effective in their environment of choice but pretty useless outside it, dolphins are also very smart (dont tell sam i called him smart) and absolutely lethal to threats to their own. they also care for their own sick and injured and will even help injured or distressed humans sometimes.  and they talk freaking constantly.

pietro would be a ferret. smart, mischievous, high energy, social, and as hard to catch as greased jello. fights dirty. loves to mess around. 

wanda would be a stoat. like a ferret, they too are very clever and mischievous, but are also extremely adaptable, able to use their brain to turn circumstances to their advantage. theyre one of the smallest carnivores around and they have attitude totally disproportionate to their tiny little bodies. dont mess with stoats guys. they feel no fear and they hold grudges. 

scott would be a raccoon. fun loving and social but also total troublemakers, always getting into places they shouldnt be. and stealing your stuff. and making messes. and then looking totally confused about how on earth all this got everywhere, i was just grabbing a snack, i swear. 

peter is a bluejay. like ravens, theyre smart and chatty, and are excellent mimics. despite their small size, theyre surprisingly fierce, but they prefer cunning to force. but dont think that makes them pushovers–bluejays are tiny colorful badasses, despite how fluffy they get when its cold out. 

tchalla is a cat. i tried to reach with this one and find something else, but he totally is, nothing for it. he’s a cat. dignified and graceful, good with people but definitely still a predator underneath. also im pretty sure that if tchalla ever did something embarrassing, hed just straighten himself out and pretend it never happened, exactly like cats do. 

rhodey would be a california condor. theyre pretty much the biggest bird in north american skies, with a wingspan of over nine feet. they have an intimidating reputation and can look pretty scary but underneath they are very loyal to their chosen families. they have very complex social systems and tend to be dedicated but tough-love parents, and are also very curious about the world around them. theyre big, badass, and enduring–one of the oldest species still aloft. nothings got staying power like a condor. or an air force guy flying around in a tank. 

anonymous asked:

Recently the idea of witchcraft has become very interesting to me, would you possibly be able to share any resources to possibly help out a beginning witch? thank you so much!

Ooh have I got posts for you:

Other posts not by me:


  • You do not need to be Wiccan or any other kind of religious to practice magic
    • Nor do you need to be any specific gender, sexuality, race, etc. 
      • And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
    • The only thing you really need to be a witch is a desire to be so
  • The term “witch” is gender neutral, but you don’t need to go by that if you don’t want to, there are plenty of other alternatives; “magic user” is a good basic one
  • Do a lot of research 
    • It never really stops1
  • Figure out what it is you want to do with magic (everything, only specific types of magic, whether or not you think you might curse, etc.)
    • What you decide for these is not concrete - you are not bound to working with one type of magic if you want to change to something else, you are allowed to change your mind
      • Sometimes things just won’t work, you aren’t stuck to continuing with those things if they aren’t helping
    • On this note, you don’t need a “witchy label” (i.e. sea witch or whatever), these things are just more meant to help other people recognize what sort of magic you practice at a glance - you are also not confined to that label if you decide you want one, you can do other kinds of magic as well
  • Don’t let other people tell you how to do YOUR magic - it’s YOUR craft for a reason; play around, experiment, find what works for you and run with it
    • Sometimes people are just shitty and will tell you you’re doing it wrong, no matter what you do - so just kinda be prepared to see that
    • Again, you’re not bound to working with anything - try out many new things if you want, find the one thing you really like and stick with it; you do you
  • See what you already own that you can use within magic, and then find out what you can do with those things
  • Don’t worry about buying “organic,” “fancy,” or “exotic” herbs - you can find the same properties and associations in regular household spices and herbs
    • On that note, if you have a Bulk Barn / Barrel in your area, GET YOUR HERBS FROM THERE. Seriously, my exand I went to one some weekend, and they have EVERYTHING. And so cheap!
  • Also, you can get a lot of stuff from the dollar store, WalMart / Target, thrift stores - hit these places up if budget is an issue
    • For the longest time all my crystals came from Green Earth, and every single one has worked for what I wanted it to thus far
  • If you don’t care about deities or spirits, just don’t work with them
    • Same thing goes with the astral plane- if you don’t wanna go near it, you don’t need to
  • Practice your fire safety methods
    • DO THIS
  • It’s okay if you don’t practice every day, miss the moon phases or sabbats - these are not the things that define a witch, they are just things you CAN do
    • You are not less of a witch for not practicing every single day; life does not need to revolve around magic, nor do I honestly think it should
    • I have never practiced a single sabbat, and I think last month was the first or second time ever that I actually had my spellwork correspond with the right day of the week and moon phase
    • It’s seriously okay if things don’t line up perfectly timing wise; it adds a bit of a boost, but not enough to make it or break it
  • Try to have fun with it - magic is not 100% serious all the time, nor does it need to be

Best of luck anon! :D

The idea that Mabel is being selfish in The Deep End is even more absurd. 

Mabel’s whole story in that episode is about doing what’s best for the person she has feelings for even when it’s not what’s best for her. The selfish thing to do would be to not help Mermando, so that she could visit him in the community pool and be with him. Instead she helps him get back to the ocean even if it means never seeing him again.

Dipper witnessing this is important for his story as well, because up until now he’s been doing the opposite with Wendy. His interactions with her have been about trying to do what will allow him to spend more time with her, not about what she wants. About getting her away from Robbie even if she wants to date and be around him.

Then there’s Mabel’s line near the end: “don’t you know what it’s like to fall for someone? Even though you know in your heart that it’ll probably never work out, but you’d do anything for that person?” 

Not only does that line draw a direct parallel between Mabel’s feelings for Mermando and Dipper’s for Wendy, in this sentence Mabel defines love not as “doing anything to be with that person” but as “doing anything for that person” even if it means not being with that person.

And this is important, because the next two episodes that deal with Dipper’s Crush on Wendy are Boyz Crazy, (where Dipper is called out and confronted with the fact that he hadn’t been considering Wendy’s feelings) and Into The Bunker (which begins with him realizing he made a mistake, and deciding to just not tell Wendy about his feelings towards her at all.)

The Deep End is not only a story about Mabel being selfless, it’s about Dipper beginning to realize that he has been selfish when it comes to Wendy.

I will literally fight for exo.. exo members r out there working hard: obtaining master and PhD degrees while promoting as EXO and even doing solo activities. This is all the while they break record after record. When I see some nasty or uglie posting about how they had their fame handed to them like?¿? b*tch how! Just because EXO don’t constantly post or update on what they’re doing, because they’re extremely modest I might add, it doesn’t mean they r not busting their butts out for their fans. Any fan of theirs would know and appreciate everything they do for us 😤😤

BTS Reaction To You Cleaning Your Glasses on Their Shirt

Namjoon: “Ah don’t you think it’d be better if I get you the cloth instead?”

Originally posted by taestylips

Taehyung: Would continue doing whatever he was doing as he watched you in amusement.

Originally posted by bwiyomi

Hoseok: “Aren’t the lens going to get messed up?”

Originally posted by yoongiwara

Jin: “Jagiya! What are you- No you’re going to ruin your glasses!”

Originally posted by bts-gfx

Jungkook: He’d just stare at you a bit confused as to why you’re using his shirt instead of yours.

Originally posted by officialwookkibby

Yoongi: “Get off of me grandma. Go wipe your glasses on your own shirt,”he jokingly said.

Originally posted by jhopies

Jimin: He’s so used to it now that he doesn’t even bother saying anything to you.

Originally posted by sugakookie


Bills sucked me dry this week, and I don’t get paid until next Friday. I will be doing tarot card readings to try to not starve.

3-4 card reading: $5
4-5 card reading: $6
5-6 card reading: $7
6-12: card reading: $8

Payment is accepted by Paypal, and your readings will be sent via Tumblr, unless stated other wise. Make sure to tell me what kind of reading you will like, if not it will be a general life reading.

Reblogs would be lovely even if you can’t afford to get a reading.

anonymous asked:

Hi I was just wondering if someone commissioned it would you draw original characters for them? Your art is truly incredible and it would be great to see what you do with characters who you only receive written descriptions for. 😊

Of course:) I would draw anything. OCs, fanart, humans, creatures, even furries you name it hahaha. Descriptions alone are ok but be prepared for me to be bothersome, because I would want it to fit to the commissioners liking.

BTS Reaction: Their son getting sick

||| @vixx-bts-scenarios asked:  bts reaction to their young son (cause the thought of them with their baby boys is soooooo cute) getting a cold or the flu and they freak out and take care of them?? |||

Jin/Kim Seokjin

Originally posted by cherry-jimin

He would be freaking out the most out of all the members. Even when you tell him it’s just a simple cold, that wouldn’t stop his panicking.

“It’s just a cold now but if we don’t do something soon… Oh my god! What’s going to happen to him then?!” Jin you should know you’re the doctor!! 

Rap Monster/Kim Namjoon

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

On the outside he would be pretty chill but inside thousands of questions would be asked.

“What do you do in this situation? Is this bad? Should I call Y/N and tell her? Is this soup to hot for him? Is it okay that he’s sleeping that much?”

V/Kim Taehyung

Originally posted by toughchim

He would be completely lost and have no idea what to do.

“Okay, he has a fever. Do I take him to the doctor now?.. I should probably call Y/N…”

Park Jimin

Originally posted by cuzishiptoomuchjihope

He would pretend that he totally knows what he’s doing and that he has everything under control.

“Jimin, why are you giving him chocolate now of all times?”

“It’s just that he looks pretty weak now and chocolate always gets his mood up and fixes everything right? Right?” well you’re not wrong about that

Jeon Jungkook

Originally posted by sugutie

Would ask his hyungs for help.

“Big emergency!! Everyone gather!!”

Suga/Min Yoongi

Originally posted by talk-me-down-troye

Would stay up all night worrying until you come get him.

“You know it’s just a cold, right? You need to sleep too.”

“I know, let me stay with him for a bit longer.”

J-Hope/Jung Hoseok

Originally posted by frittatansonyeondan

Would actually know what to do and because of that you could also relax.

“He’s finally asleep, he’s going to be okay, you know.” he would reassure you.

A/N: Feel free to request scenarios, reactions etc, I keep up with a lot of groups, both male and female!! 😊

BTS Reaction to Their S/O Crying to Them for the First Time


Jin thinks food solves everything, so he would cook something yummy for you (probably even feeds it to you himself).

“I made your favourite, Y/N. Open wide.” *Feeds you the food*


Yoongi isn’t so good at expressing his emotions, but he would stay by your side and hold your hand, listening to you if you wanted to talk.

*Caresses the hand he is holding with his thumb, while he nods his head at your words*

Rap Monster: 

Namjoon would hold you and talk everything through with you and I no one knows how, but he always knows exactly what to do to cheer you up, probably because he knows you so well.

“Come here, beautiful.” *Holds his arms open for a hug*


Seeing you sad makes Hoseok sad, so you holds you really tight and whispers reassuring words.

“I’m always going to be here for you.” *Soft smile*


Squishy Chimchim is very concerned, he would assume that you got hurt.

“Why is my Jagi, crying? Are you hurt?” *Searches you for signs of injury*


Taehyung thinks he must have done something to make you cry.

“Why are you crying? It’s not my fault right?” *Frowns in worry*


He has no idea what to do, a million reasons of why you’re crying runs through his mind. He would just stand there, at the edge of the room for a minute before he sits beside you and takes your hand.

*Jungshook* “J-Jagi..?”


anonymous asked:

i started thinking about yamato using his scary face on naruto, and then i started thinking about how kakashi's a huge troll. and then my brain was like "what if naruto asked kakashi one day why yamato does that, and kakashi, being the troll that he is, tells naruto that it's yamato's way of flirting?" it doesn't even have to amount to anything, but thinking of the sudden awkwardness between yamato and naruto b/c of kakashi doing that is so funny.


That would be hilarious, and Kakashi absolutely would. And Naruto would probably be so nice about it, is the awful thing. He’d totally try to let Yamato down gently while Yamato is just ??!!???!?

Almost Human Sentence Starters

Starter sentences inspired by Voltaire’s album Almost Human. There should be plenty of themes here for you to work with, from sad starters, to happy starter, to nice one, and even some spiteful ones and ones you can send to those your character hates. Feel free to change the wording. Have fun!

  • You’re the devil’s own
  • You can try to destroy me
  • But not tonight
  • You can fight if you like
  • Your words can’t hurt me
  • Yes, surrender would be nice
  • You can scream if you want
  • Yell your stubborn head off
  • All hail the king of fools
  • Devil knows what possessed me
  • I put no blame on you
  • I brought this all upon myself
  • It’s just this thing I do
  • I wish I was someone else
  • I was only trying to make you smile
  • I never meant to make you cry
  • I can barely take it
  • I don’t think I can make it
  • Oh, please don’t cry, now, smile
  • Oh, if only I could have been there
  • Don’t leave from here
  • Don’t leave me here 
  • I hate it here
  • I need you here
  • I wish I could protect you here
  • I need to see you smile
  • What did I ever do to you that you should treat me this way?
  • What did I ever do so wrong
  • These tears are real
  • I’m spite and hate
  • To the core I’m mean
  • Don’t touch me
  • I couldn’t bear the thought of it, now
  • There’s a field of flowers and they smell like you
  • I kept your room just how you left it
  • Just in case the fates are kind and you come back someday
  • I have seen things with these eyes
  • Made in your image we are at least as twisted and mean as thee
  • Your children have turned on you 
  • You say, you don’t sleep well at night
  • Never did as you should and you claim it was all for our very own good
  • ‘Twas a lie, a magnificent lie
  • Now, your subjects have turned on you
  • Wipe that damn smile off your face
  • All my troubles, all my pain stems from this thing that you call a “brain”
  • What do they call it when another forces your hand
  • I will stay to watch you wither away
  • And with any luck you may be hit by a truck
  • Oh, look, can’t you see how much your death means to me
  • Far be it for I to leave all this beauty behind

anonymous asked:

do u ever just take a moment and think about how klance is just such a good ship?? so good?? especially for the characters themselves??? like, the character development and growth that the relationship would come with just damn son. lance overcoming his insecurities regarding keith??? keith learning to open up and trust people that aren't shiro???? wow amazing good stuff 10/10 A+

dude………. this is me everyday of my life i ain’t even joking…. sometimes i’ll just stop doing what i’m doing and think about how much i love them

anonymous asked:

If you draw a sigil on your skin, what do you think the best way to activate/charge it would be? :)

“Best” is not really a term I like to use for witchcraft anymore. Because different things work for different people (even the same methods can produce different results), there aren’t any surefire methods that are guaranteed to be awesome for every single magic user - it comes down to what you have access to, and what you want to do. Experimentation is important to find out what works for you. :)

I like to draw sigils on the pulse points - so the ideal one being the wrist - and let the natural flow of blood through the body charge the sigil. It’s sort of like blood magic to me, but without needing to remove it from the body. The energy from the blood is still what charges the sigil, though it’s more about the movement I guess.

You could also kiss sigils drawn on yourself - if you can reach where you drew it, of course. xD Blowing air on a sigil can also prove beneficial.

Another idea is tracing the design with the index finger of your dominant hand, and with this you can channel energy into it from yourself or drawing it in from external sources. 

If it’s warm and sunny where you are, you can expose the sigil to sunlight and have it charge with that potent energy. This technique can be applied with the moon as well.

If you’re okay trying methods involving pain, pinch the sigil, or snap an elastic band on it. My favorite idea for a charging method like this was drawing the sigil on the heel of the foot, then putting a small pebble in your show, and stepping on it. Boom, physical energy and pain. Of course, these methods aren’t necessary, just options. 

Even washing the sigil away can charge it - destruction methods still apply. Use charged water (like moon water) for an added boost.

I hope that gives you some ideas! Good luck!

anonymous asked:

You should have a YouTube channel, I would totally watch your videos!!

omg!! that’s very sweet aha, but like, what would you even watch? I have no talentz for the youtubes! 😳

Everything you’ve been missing.

Originally posted by lucifersagents

Pairing :Lucifeer x Reader
Word count :
Author :
Warning :
Talk of suicide
A/N :
Written for @bigdaddymongoose

Closing your eyes, you stood still as the wind whipped your hair around. You took a deep breath letting the cool night air fill your lungs before wiping a tear from your cheek.

“Would you really do it?”

You jumped and turned towards the voice, and met icy cold blue eyes. No one but you had been on the bridge. “Who-”

“Would you really do it?” He asked again.

You looked down, then turned your back to him, looking back out over the water again. “I don’t know. I just want it to stop.”

“What?” He slowly stepped closer. “What do you want to stop?”

“Feeling like this. Like I’m not good enough, not even for my husband.”

“Then leave.”

You shook your head and let out a sad chuckle. “Gee, why didn’t I think of that? Where would I go? I have nothing else. Just him, he’d keep everything, house, kids, all of it. I’m nothing with him, and nothing without him.” You sighed. “Maybe I should do it..”

“No.” You turned to him as he took the last step to stand next to you and leaned on the railing. “You’ll just hurt yourself, though maybe the icy cold water will drown you, but it’s no guarantee.” He shrugged.

“So you’re the expert?”

He turned and gave you a soft smile and shrugged. “Something like that. Why not try something higher?” He snapped his fingers and you found yourself at the top of a massive cliff nothing between you and the drop. You gasped and stepped back. “No, you’re right.. That will hurt like a bitch before something finally kills you. And again, it’s not a guarantee, you could survive it.. Hmm.” He stroked his chin as he thought.

Snapping his fingers again, you were on a plane. “We could always just crash this.” He shrugged like it was nothing.

No one seemed to notice the two of you just appearing out of nowhere. “Am I hallucinating..?” You wondered to yourself looking around.

“Or this.” He snapped his fingers, and you were in a car in the middle of a high speed chase on a highway. “People die in car crashes all the time.” You grabbed hold of his arm, fear in your eyes.

Snapping his fingers again, you were in a quiet, and comfortable looking room with a large plush bed. “There’s always pills and booze. You’ll see some crazy shit before you go.” He smiled. “Or, I could make it quick and painless for you.”

“W-who are you?”

“You’d know me as Satan. But I’m an angel like the rest. People sometimes forget that. I can answer prayers too.”

You slowly backed away. “W-why mine?”

“You cried the loudest.” He cocked his head to the side a bit. “So, would you really do it?” Snapping his fingers, you were back on the bridge where you had met him. You shook your head. He smiled again. “Then, how about I answer your prayer. How about I take you away from here, and show you everything you’ve been missing.” He held out his hand.

Keep reading

mareap  asked:

murphy begged so hard for emori but he never offered himself in her place i love him

Okay so, I KEPT EXPECTING THAT OBVIOUSLY and it’s pretty tragic how fast everyone just *accepted* it was gonna be Emori including the two of them. :( But I believe and am kinda glad it didn’t go down that way the more I think about it because-

  • What the story really called for was for Clarke to be an actual heroine/decent person and put her life on the line above some pawn vs. Murphy doing it for love, which would clear everybody’s conscience a little even though it’s still a completely fucked-up position to put him in and zero other people were jumping in.
  • I think they sold pretty well that Emori didn’t want him to do that, and if he died first it wouldn’t save her anyway. They *both* leaped straight to the assumption that now the Forced Human Testing Floodgates were open and they were both fucked, but he had a slightly better chance of getting out okay if he stopped threatening to murder people. (Narrator Voice: He would not stop threatening to murder people.)
  • FML “am I next?” devastates me and see above re: them not really believing there was a “you or me“ choice there, or that it was any less awful for him to go instead/in addition to her. Like you could probably read it a couple of ways, but there’s my survivor cockroach son being scared and bitter for his own sake too. ;___;

anonymous asked:

#9 from btds? do whichever character/part of the story pleases you :)

What a non-PoV character is thinking in a certain scene.

I’m feeling sentimental, so how about this?

“I’m such a good friend, Yuuri, I can’t believe you were planning to go to the Leroy party dressed like that – honestly, what would Viktor Nikiforov say –”

Yuuri resists the urge to roll his eyes, letting Phichit’s babble wash over him in gentle waves. They’re heading down Bowhill towards the Leroy residence, the noise of the party already audible even from Yu-Topia. It’s going to be another one of those nights, he thinks, already dreading the inevitable late night noise complaints from the guests in the morning.

Phichit hasn’t stopped gushing about Viktor Nikiforov coming to live in Torvill Cove ever since he walked the man home with his groceries. Phichit has met Viktor Nikiforov. 

(Well, Katsudon has met Viktor Nikiforov. But Katsudon doesn’t really count.)

And what’s more, Phichit has actually taken selfies with him and talked to him, while Yuuri, who has read more of Viktor’s works than probably anyone else in this godforsaken town, has done nothing except hole up in his room in Yu-Topia with the solid determination never to set foot outside the hotel ever again. Wouldn’t it be better if he just did that? Just never meet Viktor Nikiforov, the man who had saved him with his poems about the grace in death and winter, who had reminded him of the beauty of words and writing? After all, meeting one’s heroes is always a terrible idea. 

“Really, he’s a very nice guy if you’d just talk to him, and he’s probably going to write his next book about Torvill, so – Yuuri, are you even listening?” Phichit frowns at him. Yuuri flashes him a smile, and Phichit’s brow quirks in response.

‘I think I’d rather swim,’ Yuuri signs.

Phichit sighs. “Even after all the effort I put into making you look good? You’re killing me, smalls.”

Yuuri rolls his eyes. They mount the stairs to the front door of the residence, slip through the crowds with ease until they reach the door to the backyard. Yuuri catches sight of JJ Leroy, who does a strange beam-grimace and then looks away. The knots in his stomach tighten.

‘Where’s the bar?’ he wonders. 

Phichit leads him out to the bar in the backyard, which Christophe is running. However, they’re just within view of the bar when Yuuri notices that Christophe has a customer.

It’s Viktor Nikiforov. And time stands still the instant Yuuri realises that.

Viktor had been cute at the book reading in St Andrews, tucked into his turtleneck with an easy grin and long flowing silver hair. He had been stunning in his publicity photos, be it laughing on a bench with skates or contemplating a typewriter. He had been gorgeous on the red carpet premier for the King and the Skater, posing with the actors for Arthur and Sakchai with his easy heart-shaped grin and his sharply-tailored suit. And he had been lovely in his Instagram selfies, all easygoing smiles and bright eyes against the backdrop of stunning locations. 

But nothing could compare to how he looks tonight, in his dark shirt and trousers and his brown suit jacket, the collar opened just a little to expose his throat, his silver hair falling softly in eyes that Yuuri knows must be ice-blue. Nervously, Yuuri fiddles with his braces, feeling his face heat up even as Viktor fixes him with that intent blue gaze. 

He tugs at Phichit’s jacket. ‘He’s there,’ he signs. Phichit raises an eyebrow, looks at the bar, and then waves

And Viktor Nikiforov waves back.

Yuuri wants to sink into the ground and die

“See, he’s not that bad,” says Phichit. Yuuri arches an eyebrow. “Seriously! He’s really nice; you should go and find out for yourself!”

‘No,’ says Yuuri. ‘He’ll just be disappointed that I can’t speak.’

“Well, I’m sure he’s going to be polite at least. Unlike other people.”

Yuuri sighs. Yurio had nearly punched JJ in the face for asking once if the cat had gotten Yuuri’s tongue. It was touching, in its own weird way. 

He looks back towards where Viktor and Christophe are talking. Viktor is sipping his drink casually, making no sign of vacating the bar so Yuuri could go up and order. This is terrible. He needs to drink something. 

And then, out of the corner of his eye, Yuuri spies a passing server with a tray of champagne flutes. He takes the opportunity to swipe a glass, and Phichit laughs.

“I thought we pre-gamed,” he remarks.

Yuuri has to hold onto the flute with his mouth to reply, ‘No amount of drinking is going to prepare me for this,’ and then he downs the glass. 

i hate when people say they loved me so much but got over me in like.. maybe only 2 weeks? and have fun all the time? and complain they weren’t good enough when they literally fucking were but forced me to leave so they can be finally happy when I had the feeling, I couldn’t make them happy anymore although it breaks my heart but it’s still the best for them, not even for myself in my opinion or then left me bc I was too much to handle? it’s like i can’t do anything right no matter what i do but stop complaining when i’m the one who was in fact never good enough, fuck this shit and fuck everyone who tries to make me feel bad because I already think I would be better off dead so just stop