what women fear

Fear God in the way that makes your knees bend and your heart race. Reverence Him. Be in awe of who He is. Know that in His divine wisdom, He chose you, your circumstances, and every last hair on your head in order to woo you to trust and glorify Him the way He deserves to be glorified. He didn’t choose you because of anything in you, but because of everything in Him.
—  Angie Smith, “What Women Fear”

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We Need Feminism

We need feminism because my brother still tells me i can’t do things because “I don’t know, you’re a girl.”

We need feminism because my younger brother can stay out til 3 AM and my parents won’t care but if i’m out past midnight I’ll have five missed calls.

We need feminism because I know someone who was raped on the sidewalk walking home from a party.

We need feminism because they’re teaching girls to walk a little faster at night instead of teaching guys not to rape.

We need feminism because four guys took advantage of the fact that i was drunk and one of the last girls at a party, and stuck their tongues down my throat.

We need feminism because my Dad can go out and spend 25,000 dollars on a tractor without telling my Mom, but if she spent a few hundred on anything other than groceries without telling him there would be hell to pay.

We need feminism because a guy who tried to stick up for his female friend who was drugged by a fraternity member at a party, needed reconstructive surgery after the entire fraternity gang beat him and his friend.

We need feminism because if a girl is drunk and gets raped, she’ll be told it’s her fault because she was drinking. If a guy gets drunk and rapes someone, it wasn’t his fault because he was drunk.

We need feminism because people still think it’s not rape if it’s his girlfriend.

We need feminism because an old RA on campus stole the codes to his old building and tried to rape two girls. They both identified him. He walked.

We need feminism because guys can take up as much space as possible but girls are expected to sit with their legs crossed and be small.

We need feminism because even though there was a taped confession, Viner Curtis Lepore got away with rape.

We need feminism because my Dad said my shirt that exposes my SHOULDER is inappropriate.

We need feminism because it’s the twenty first century and women are STILL not being paid equal to men.

We need feminism because what men fear most about about prison is what women fear will happen to them when they’re walking alone at night, and even in their own home.

We need feminism because to this day, rape is still used as a weapon of war.

We need feminism because the literacy rate of women in Somalia is 26%

We need feminism because we need equality for everyone, regardless of sex, gender, or race.

To The Girl Who My Boyfriend Cheated On Me With

For your sake I won’t tell your name. I knew it well, and I cannot get it out of my head. But to you, who hurt me, you who took away my relationship, you who selfishly thought of only your own happiness, thank you.

We have never met, but I know you must know who I am. I am the woman you saved through the strangest means possible. My boyfriend cheated on me with you. Through social media you must have known I existed.

I could say congratulations or you win, or even the cliché – you deserve each other, but I won’t. I will say thank you.

You would think I would hate you, because you did to another woman what all women fear the most, but I didn’t hate you. You have done me an incredible service that I did not have the courage to do myself.

Thank you for setting me free. Thank you for saving me a future full of pain and lies. Thank you for showing me his true colors through your joint actions.

Thank you for giving me a reason to say goodbye to the biggest blockade I have ever faced. Thank you for opening up my future again.

Thank you for taking the blame, for giving me the reason to leave, to give me a reason to start over.

Thank you for reminding me that I am worth so much more than lies and deception, that I don’t have to take the emotional abuse and trauma of this experience lying down.

Thank you for showing me that my dad was always right, and for letting me feel the overwhelming love of the friendships I have forgotten.

Thank you for showing me that there are better ways to spend my time and my tears. Thank you for sending me running to Jesus, for reminding me that I am nothing without my true Saviour.

Thank you for bringing me to my knees, for reminding me of what pain feels like, for without pain we cannot understand the beauty of healing.

Without bad, we cannot understand good.

Without your interference, I would not have lost my breathe; but because of you I have learned to breathe again.

Thank you.

Most sincerely,
The girl you helped set free.

dared.evil is just so full of women doing men’s emotional processing and labor for them, it’s exhausting

it’s the subtle sexism of male writers who are really trying to write women well but can’t shake their unconscious bias

maybe this would happen less if they would hire more than one women credited as co-writer on a single episode

Azula’s “Ladies” Comment:

Warning: You may get offended.

Ok. So, apparently many of you are assuming that because Azula made her now becoming famous “My kind of ladies” comment believe that it is now definitive proof that Azula is a lesbian…I think it’s time to break it down. 

“The Kemurikage are dark spirits of legend, born of fear and anger and revenge. My kind of ladies.

First of all, if you read the last comic, “Smoke and Shadow” Part 2, we learn that the Kemurikage are Dark Spirits like Azula said born of fear, anger, and revenge. They were created when mothers lost their children after they were kidnapped, never to be seen again. The Kemurikage are the spirits of the anguished mothers. Which in another psychological stand point, correlates with Azula’s issues with her own mother.  

Secondly, what she says there is not her desire to be with a woman. Not even in the slightest. She sees her little group as her Sisters. “They would expose my Sisters and me before we’re ready.” These are people she has formed a little “cult” with if you will. They all follow her lead. Definition of Sisters: “A female member of a religious community that observes the simple vows of poverty , chastity, and obedience.” In this case, it’s not a religious group per say but they follow the ways of the Kemurikage and what those women stood for: Fear, Anger, and Revenge. Hence why Azula says they’re her kind of ladies. She recognizes that way because she still looks to Fear as a way of controlling people and believes that is the way to rule. It’s the same as why Zuko chose the Dark Water Spirit. He wore it when he went undercover when he rescued Aang or freeing Appa. Hiding behind it helped him manage to do things that seemed out of character for him at the time or who he was underneath. He felt a connection with what it represented. Azula is doing the same thing in choosing the Kemurikage. 

Thirdly. Azula refers to her group as her friends. “My new friends and I took our inspiration from your little nightmare. What do you think? Not a bad rendition, hm?” Definition of Friends: “a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter. A person who is on good terms with another.”

Fourthly. We know little about her friends. So far as we know, they signed up for following Azula because they owe it to her for bailing them out of the institution. They are most likely people she came across while there whom she was able to talk to and formed connections with. Azula earned their loyalty and friendship. She remembered them and saw promise with whatever skill sets they have. Azula always analyzes people she meets. They don’t seem to be doing this over fear, anger and revenge which further confirms what she said. They are following Azula out of loyalty and respect and most likely know what she has in store for her quest in aiding Zuko, which they must agree with. 

Azula is not talking about interest in women. Azula is talking about the Kemurikage of Legend and what those women stood for, not her new friends. 

I’m sorry if I offended anyone. I am not out for an argument. So, if that is what you are intending to do then just move on. I have no patience. Also, no. I am not in any sense of the word a “homophobe”. You can save that for somebody else.   

I was talking about Jessica Jones at work the other night and we were talking about how it compared to Daredevil. One of my male coworkers made a comment about Kilgrave not being as scary as Fisk, which I thought was a ridiculous statement. Sure, the scene where he beheaded that guy using the car door was horrifying, but as a villain he was very tied up in gentrification and the violence of poverty, which is a very impersonal form of violence. 

Kilgrave is very personal as a villain, but more specifically he’s very personal in ways that are particular to women’s fears. As a woman, I found him terrifying. Every action he takes to control another person is rape, whether or not it involves actual sex, and that loss of agency and abuse by a man is very much a universal, visceral fear for women. He has victims from every gender, but so much of what he does and what he represents is what women fear the most from men. The power, his lack of empathy, his need for instant gratification, his belief in his own innate deservedness – he is male entitlement grown grotesque and personified. 

I think it’ll be interesting to see if female and male viewers of the show have different reactions to and perceptions of Kilgrave along those lines. 

I know why the canvas sits blank; not only in [my dad’s] home but also in yours.

Sometimes the fear of failure steals the beauty we were meant to create.

Here’s the part we need to cling to: If what we are being called to do is in God’s will for us, we can’t truly fail.

To me, failure means it doesn’t turn out the way I wanted it to.

To God, it means I didn’t pick up the brush.“

—  What Women Fear, Angie Smith