what will i do without tumblr!

I’m glad tumblr is just now learning, a year after the election, that the FCC chair is an unelected position appointed by the president. Ajit Pai was appointed specifically because he’s an anti-net neutrality zealot. The whole FCC comment thing is a courtesy mostly meant to placate you, it is in no way legally binding. I’m so angry at everyone saying “what can we do.” The time to stop this was November 8th, 2016. Most things in the executive branch are done completely without public input, you make your voice heard on election day. It would have been great if you had listened to everyone trying to tell you what’s at stake a year ago.

a sad day for tumblr

so @illumegeoff is leaving and i’m NOT okay. her blog is the first blog i followed and i look up to her so damn much and i regret listening to my anti social anxiety and not messaging her sooner and actually becoming her friend. her leaving tumblr never crossed my mind and it’s really sad to see her go because she’s one of the best out there. but i totally understand and support her decision because there’s always a breaking point and sometimes you just gotta let some stuff go to help yourself. i’m proud of her for all that she’s accomplished and what she’s about to do because it takes so much more than guts to delete time’s worth of works.

i agree with her when she said that tumblr (and this fandom) has turned into a place of toxicity. what with recent events and whatnot, it has been chaotic. but i guess a fandom isn’t a fandom without its issues and imperfections (i’ve seen and dealt with much, much worse in a totally different fandom and it was absolute hell). i hope that this fandom can get its shit together and we can all be more kind and supportive to one another as a whole instead of sending disgusting anon hate and bringing others down (not saying we’ve all done it, but some people have). we’re all in this fandom together supporting the same person, so why not love and support one another too while we’re at it?

we may have opinions, by all means. we aren’t human without having our own thoughts. and of course we can share it because we are a social species meant to share and communicate ideas and thoughts among ourselves but there is always a line; a boundary. lately, we’ve been crossing lines and letting our diversity in opinions separate us and it shouldn’t be happening as bad as it is within this fandom and it’s quite upsetting to see us, as friends and fellow supporters of a specific person, not getting along over something as ridiculous and insignificant as someone else’s personal life who we have and should have no control over.

i also just realised i’ve gotten extremely opinionated and turned a warmhearted departure into a rant on fandom division and other depressing things i’ve witnessed while here and i apologise for that. on the other hand, i do have a platform and i thought, what better time to speak about it than now? anyway, i really do wish @illumegeoff finds relief soon and maybe considers - at the least - returning to tumblr someday.

i’ll seriously miss you, even though you probably most likely don’t know me

Oh yeah, I forgot this! Result of my streaming (part of it at least). I was gonna do boys their gears and masks but then again they looked so much more better without them. I will edit this later tho and make second version where I have add gears and masks! I left their eyes white because it suited them more.

References used on pose. Here’s my earlier post where you can find links to references (too tired to post them here separately) -> http://nei-ning.tumblr.com/post/167817398235/2-of-my-current-arts-what-im-working-on-on-top

Sometimes i consider leaving tumblr as a creator just because of how angry staff’s decisions have made me. First they implement a shoddy nsfw filter and now they’re copying every other friggen social media outlet’s move to have a best stuff first option IMPOSED on us without our consent. Much like safe mode, i imagine not many people know they have it on.

I’m not actually going to leave tumblr yet especially if there are people who enjoy what i do. But god i hope a new competitor pops up that can do what tumblr does…only better. Because screw tumblr. Seriously.

I. I miss you, and it’s not like I miss your face, arms, or lips. I could do without, but simply your presence always reminded me of home, and I swear I lost that when you left. You don’t know, I’ve never felt so homeless and alone. No amount of money or possessions even compare to you. I wish you knew but
II. You know people always text their lovers in the morning, so I bet its weird that I’m texting you in the middle of the day, drunk at three in the afternoon. Don’t judge me, but I swear this whiskey tastes like you and this empty bottle is like our love. I have practically consumed what was left of it, and there is nothing left to do but throw it at you. But we both know all the shattered pieces will hurt only me anyway. Just please, open your arms, open your heart. Please don’t leave now because
III. I hate you, hate everything about you. I can’t stand you anymore. but I love you, and I can’t breathe, please, please, answer me, I can’t
IV. It’s been two weeks and these 336 hours and 14 minutes have been hell. You used to shimmer like a piece of heaven, but you’ve gone and I’m fallen. And I’ve been trying to be poetic, but poetry won’t bring you back to me. Spilling my heart out isn’t helping, so what do I do now, what do I do without
V. Hey, how have you been?
—  Texts I Never Sent// thequiethearttalks 

to all of my followers, and especially my younger ones, please don’t believe in all of the tumblr ideology without thinking about it critically. while tumblr can be right sometimes, a lot of it is just virtue signaling and mob mentality. if you don’t agree with something you see on tumblr please don’t think it just because that’s what everyone else is doing and you don’t want to feel ostracized 

i don’t usually get political but this has all the world to do with my blog and yours.

if you’re an american, please read this. even if you’re not, please read this and signal boost it. 

america has laws on something called net neutrality. this keeps internet service providers from regulating media. without it, they could 

  • block whatever websites they please
  • charge extra for websites
  • charge extra for different categories like social media or research
  • make competitor websites run slower

and our government is voting to repeal it. 

Keep reading

I love myself

Fanfic Writers

I don’t understand why people think fanfiction writers aren’t real writers.

I mean, have you ever read a fanfiction? Have you read how wonderfully their descriptions​ are? How well they know the characters?

I am a full-time​ writer and I write my own stories but I’m far below the average Fanfic writers when it comes to writing scenes and describing emotions.

If a writer writes a retelling of old work/fairy tale, they’re applauded and praised but that’s what Fanfic writers are doing. Retelling a story in a completely unique way with old set of characters.

It just annoys me. But shout out to all the fabulous Fanfic writers out there (yes, even though you write fanfics about my anti-ships). Thank you for your selfless contribution to our fandoms (and fantasies which we know won’t ever happen).

Fandoms and the world of storytelling are incomplete without you all.

I have nothing but utmost respect and love for you. 💗

the signs and self-care
  • Self-care is forgetting the past, being happy and moving on: LIBRA, Gemini, Capricorn
  • Beauty masks, new haircuts, style evolution, studyblrs, reading serious literature, candles with intense scents, drinking water and exercising: Virgo, LEO, Cancer, Aries
  • Self-care means fucking cutting people out of your life so you can go through life without obstacles. Revenge on those people means self-care, too. Not resting until those bitches feel what I have felt: PISCES, SCORPIO, AQUARIUS, SAGITTARIUS
  • Just give me food, coffee and cigarettes and fucking disappear, do not, ever, enter, MY , ROOOOOOM: Taurus
You say I am the best you’ve ever had, but neither of us care to admit I am also the best you’ll never be able to keep. I am a furious, windstruck storm of a human being, with passion bordering on madness and romanticism bordering on obsession. My kisses are the only part of myself your lips can fathom, and your hands cannot even touch my body without your fingers staining from all the storms that rage within me.
You seem to love the type of women whose eyes are serene and bright as the summer days they spend with you, who are beautiful and competent in the ways the world is only to happy to accept. They love with lukewarm tenderness and just a hint of arrogance only a life of privilege can bring- they hurt you, perhaps, but never amaze you, and the height of their unpredictability will end in a drunk car ride home that tastes almost as common as the whiskey you drink to forget them. But forgotten they will soon become, and there are many, many, women who will share the shade of their eyes and the nature of their well contained laughs. They will take months from you, tears from you, and sobriety from you temporarily, but never anything deeper. You do not understand the ways, then, in which women like me love. I will take the speck of honey brown from your eyes, the warmth of your skin, and the movement of your hips and hold them closer than you pull me, for I do not know what it means to feel without completion. To love, to feel, to touch without giving all of myself is a foreign concept I have no desire to become acquainted with, and I am sorry, but the only compensation I accept is everything you cannot give in fear it will destroy you. I will love you with all I have to offer, all of my madness and wild hair and sweet laughter and crooked teeth, and while there could be paradise between us, I offer no promises about what we will take from each other. Does that frighten you? It should. The truth is I am as full of destruction as I am affection.
You crave the sensation of me on top of you, but you do not understand me. Do not be fooled by the kindness in my eyes or the softness of my skin- I am a multitude of miraculous tragedies dressed in art. And as much as I want to love you and spread the deepest parts of myself over you like the tides on a coastal shore, I know you cannot love me in the way I demand to be loved. You are too accustomed to the idea of affection with no lasting consequence, and so you cannot possibly have enough to give without leaving me at least partly empty. I am someone full of presence, and any absence you leave will leave me bare.
—  ap (7.17) I do not know what it means to love with mercy
Not only are you my lover, you are my best friend and I wouldn’t know what to do without you.
—  Day 305

AUTUMN IS COMINGfrom my sketchbook ©Lolle  (2017)
* media: ink on paper + photoshop

Awww!!  (ノ♡ヮ♡)ノ*:・゚✧ Autumn is coming and I really can’t wait!! it’s my fav season ever! and there are a lot of activities that I love to do during fall… baking cakes, carving pumpkins, drink cappuccinos, wear sweaters, watch movies, exploring woods, find new inspirations… and what about you? what’s your fav activities during this marvelous season?

© All rights reserved // don’t repost without credits/don’t use without permission

I can go days without missing you or even thinking about you but every once in a while a great big wave of hurt comes crashing into me and then suddenly I’m crying on my bedroom floor wondering what went wrong and asking the darkness that fills my room why I wasn’t enough for you.
—  do you still think of me sometimes too? (please tell me you do).
you’ve been through a lot,
i can see it in your eyes.
you’ve got a big heart,
and you’re not sure what to do with all of it.
you’ve given too much of yourself to people who weren’t worth the pain.
the people who promised to never hurt you did, and the ones who promised to never leave,
without even a proper caution of their departure.
you’re lost,
you must understand,
it gets better.
i promise,
it does get better.
it always gets better.
—  k. azizian
Every single morning, I get up and think, “I won’t make it through today.” And every single night, I go to bed and think, “How did I make through today?” And I think that’s what makes humans special. We do things we thought were impossible without even noticing. And we just keep doing them.
—  Journal Entry; 1 April 2017

“…I still want to see video game reviews like the ones he does!”

-PeanutButterGamer: Follows a very similar style of game review to Jontron, but with minimal sketches, and focuses a bit more on the game itself rather than his own comedy. Less cut away gags, though the sketches that he does do are always entertaining enough to actually justify a cut away gag, something that Jontron surprisingly still has yet to perfect. His content is clean, like most of the Youtubers on this list, but clean in a sort of Tumblr level of obscure that gets a good laugh without offending anyone. To quote his Tumblr: “ I’m all for not offending people. I mean, I actively attempt to be as inoffensive as possible on videos and on social media, “. He also recently voiced his distaste for what Jon has been saying lately, a bold move, considering they work for the same company.

-BrutalMoose: Brutalmoose does both video game and TV show/movie reviews the same way Jon does, and unlike PBG, he does have a few videos with a bit more mature content in them, like his reviews of “adult” games. While he does play “mature” games from time to time, and the content/comedy of those games can be offensive, his own comedy is still clean, but on the borderline of dirty. The kind you’d see on the likes of the Simpsons. Jokes that are adult, but still don’t hurt anyone. (Also…Tumblr is kind of obsessed with the fact that he’s gay? Don’t go overboard with that info, kids.)

-SpaceHamster: If you were a fan of JonTron’s knockoff game videos, you’re gonna love SpaceHamster! He’s done multiple knockoff and rom hack compilation videos, and his humor is up there with PBG. Heck, PBG and him even game together on PBG’s side channel!

“…I still want to see movie reviews like the ones he does!”

-Nostalgia Critic: If you’re looking for completely inoffensive comedy, then Nostalgia Critic probably isn’t the first place you’re gonna want to go, but hear me out. Nostalgia Critic’s offensive content differs from JonTron’s in that not only is he self aware of what is and isn’t acceptable in comedy, he’s willing to apologize when a joke goes too far and learn from his mistakes, instead of attacking his own critics. He’s made videos discussing “the line” in comedy, does countless charity shoutouts, and started the “Where’s The Fair Use” movement, a movement created in hopes of holding YouTube accountable for taking down videos that fall under Fair Use laws. He’s a genuinely decent guy!

-CinemaSins: I feel like CinemaSins is popular enough that I hardly even need to signal boost them, but their content also falls under that “adult but harmless” category. Not only that, but they’re not afraid to call out movies like 50 Shades of Gray for being ungodly shitty.

“…I still want to see sketch comedy like the sketch comedy he does!”

-JacksFilms: Remember that guy? The Your Grammar Sucks guy? You might also know him as “the guy who made parody videos calling out both Leafy and Keemstar for being shitty uncreative people” or “the guy who has videos featuring fans art and complimenting them”. Another genuinely decent human being.

I just need to tell you right now how truly amazing you are. You’re the person who makes me smile the hardest. Who makes me feel loved and special when I get sad and I wouldn’t know what to do without you.
—  Day 237
On days when nice words fall off your lips, I wonder if you mean any of them. I missed you. I like seeing your smile. I don’t know what I’d do without you. They’re just words. Exactly the words I want to hear. You know that. Can you see the change in my eyes when you laugh and say just kidding?
—  L.B.