Gaston: IF YOU WERE QUEER
LeFou: Ah, Gaston!
Gaston: I’D STILL BE HERE,
LeFou: Gaston, I’m trying to learn how to read this book.
Gaston: YEAR AFTER YEAR
Gaston: BECAUSE YOU’RE DEAR TO ME,
Gaston: AND I KNOW THAT YOU
Gaston: WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,
LeFou: I would?
Gaston: IF I TOLD YOU TODAY, “HEY! GUESS WHAT, I’M GAY!” BUT I’M NOT GAY. I’M HAPPY, JUST BEING WITH YOU.
Fun fact: Luke Evans once played the character of Nicky in Avenue Q, the same character that sings the dialogue that Gaston is singing in this incorrect quote.
Source: “If You Were Gay” from Avenue Q.