what went through my mind during the middle half of the movie

[TRANS] Hanryu Pia (May 2017) - B.A.P

“B.A.P as 6. I’m happy to be able to be on stage with all the members”

With leader Bang Yongguk coming back after his break due to his illness, B.A.P are finally making a comeback as 6 in Japan with “WAKE ME UP”. Starting with music programs in Korea first, they are currently in the middle of a world tour, how will things be for the “complete B.A.P” who have awoken after a long time?

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Valentine.

NO REQUEST.

I wasn’t going to initially write a Valentines Day story for Harry but it’s sparked up on over the last few hours and I want to get it out and try to work through this bloody writers block because it’s so horrible. 

It’s a day early, I know, but, who cares? We all love some lovey-dovey Harry so there isn’t a day where it shouldn’t be written. ;)

Italics indicate to a flashback. Credit to the owner of the pictures used as visuals throughout and towards the end of the story. 

This definitely isn’t my best story but I feel like I owe you a (slightly late!) Valentines story with Harry. 

Enjoy. xx

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cheeky lil sprace soulmate au for yall!

The lines started appearing when Race was seventeen. One moment in class, he was working through a few physics problems, completely focused, and the next, he was staring at the black line on his arm. It was thin and scratchy like a ballpoint pen, and didn’t seem to follow any discernable pattern. Race watched in shock at the line continued slowly across the top of his forearm before coming to a close back at the start. He stared at the shape, trying to find any meaning in it, before realizing that it looked a little bit like a dog. After uncapping his pen, Race drew a quick face on what may or may not have been a dog, along with a bone.

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A Misunderstanding

Pairing: You x Jimin

Summary: Your best friend Yoongi finally got you to expose your crush on Jimin and now he’s determined to play matchmaker but you aren’t having any of it - not until Jimin starts believing you hate him.

Genre: ANGST 

Word Count: 2336

Authors Note: so it’s been awhile since I’ve written anything because of school and work but I’m back now! Hooray! Also, feel free to send in requests!

Originally posted by gotjhope


[text message received at 6:43pm from Min Yoongi] “come over”

[text message sent at 6:45pm from you] “no”

[text message received at 6:45pm from Min Yoongi] “jimin is here”

[text message sent at 6:46pm from you] “That is exactly why I’m not coming”

Instead of a the buzz of a text message notification, the ring of a phone call played through your phone. You looked at who was calling and wasn’t surprised to see Yoongi’s name. You sighed and reluctantly answered, “I’m not coming over, Yoongi.”

“Don’t lie to me Y/N. You want to.” Yoongi demanded. “No. Ever since I let my crush on him slip you won’t stop insisting I come over.” He had done this regularly for the past few weeks and it was beginning to become tiring. “Stop trying to get us together.” You added, peeking around the corner to see if your roommate Sunyoung was anywhere near. She fed off gossip and if she overheard she wouldn’t be able to keep her mouth shut about it. “I knew you had a crush on him forever. You only confirmed it.” He insisted and you rolled your eyes. “Don’t lie, Yoongi. No you didn’t.” How could he? It wasn’t like you were obvious or anything.

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Permission {vkook fanfic}

Sorry, it’s kind of a mess, I know, but actually, I’m the one who’s half-asleep right now, and I really wanted to post something before bed, so… yes. I hope this brings you some joy today 🌺🌝☁️

               Jungkook watched Taehyung’s head bobbing up and down as he fell in and out of sleep on the couch. Jungkook and Jimin were seated next to each other, Taehyung in between them, and for the last half hour of the movie that they were supposed to be watching, Jungkook noticed Taehyung dozing off.

               Since then, he couldn’t get himself to focus so much on the movie as he was on Taehyung, tilting between Jungkook and Jimin, threatening to fall on one of them. Jungkook was so tempted to just grab Taehyung, and bring him closer so that he’d lean on his shoulder instead of Jimin’s, but he was sure Jimin would notice.

               This was a habit of Taehyung’s. He was already fond of touching people when he was fully awake, but when he was half asleep, he’d hug, cuddle, and snuggle up to anybody, and Jungkook made a point to be the only one around whenever that happened. He managed to make it look like he had been roped into taking care of Taehyung after he’d fallen asleep, but in those instances, the other members would walk in on the two of them alone, and Jungkook had the freedom to do whatever he wanted to Taehyung. He tried not to make that sound filthy in his mind. He tried.

               But now, Jimin was with them, and Jungkook would have to rely on Taehyung’s inner sense of direction to guide him onto Jungkook’s shoulder.

               Taehyung’s inner sense of direction, as it turned out, sucked. Jungkook had only turned back to the television for a second, worried that Jimin was going to notice that he was staring at Taehyung for too long, and looked back to find that Taehyung’s head had moved to lean on Jimin’s shoulder.

               Jimin smiled, ruffling the younger’s hair as he slept, and Jungkook’s heart nearly stopped. What was Taehyung doing? Why wasn’t he leaning on Jungkook like he always did? Rationally, Jungkook knew that Taehyung was asleep, and had no idea what he was doing, but he couldn’t help but feel a burn in his gut at the sight of Taehyung and Jimin’s faces so close together.

               “No, hyung,” Jungkook muttered to Taehyung, tugging on his white sweater, knowing that Jimin would probably hear him as well. “Sleep on my shoulder.” Taehyung didn’t budge, so Jungkook tugged harder. “Hyung. Hyung.

               Taehyung was lifted slightly off Jimin’s shoulder, then he thoughtlessly swatted Jungkook’s hand away, and his head fell down to rest on Jimin’s lap.

               “Hyung, no,” Jungkook quietly whined, but Taehyung only muttered incoherently, swatting Jungkook’s hands away, and snuggling closer to Jimin’s lap, wrapping his arms around the older vocalist’s legs.

               “Stop it, Jungkook,” Jimin said quietly. “Just let him sleep.”

               Jungkook unwillingly pulled back, watching as Jimin ran his hand through Taehyung’s hair, and kept it there. Jungkook made no attempt to look like he was still watching the movie, now blatantly staring at Taehyung.

               He was hoping his thoughts would reach Taehyung, and the older would move over to sleep on Jungkook, but it was no use. Jungkook spent the rest of the movie glaring at the sleeping vocalist, and though he knew it was silly to feel so betrayed- at that moment, watching Taehyung breath softly against Jimin’s legs, that was exactly how he felt.

               Once the movie was over, Jimin moved to go to his room, and as soon as he tried to shake Taehyung awake, Taehyung’s eyes fluttered half-open.

               “Jungkookie?” he muttered, looking around tiredly.

               Jungkook’s eyes slightly widened. “Yeah, hyung, I’m over here,” he said.

Taehyung glanced curiously at the body he was touching, noticed it was Jimin, glanced at Jungkook once more before crawling over to him, wrapping his arms around Jungkook’s shoulders, and sitting on his lap like he was waiting to be carried.

               “Taehyung, come on, let’s go sleep in our room,” Jimin said, patting Taehyung’s shoulder.

               “It’s okay, hyung,” Jungkook said, bringing one arm around Taehyung’s back, and one under his legs. “I’ll take him in a minute.”

               Jimin scratched the back of his head, then nodded, “Okay, but don’t wake him up. He hasn’t had much sleep the past few days.”

               Jungkook’s eyebrows rose. He didn’t know that. Why didn’t he know that?

               He shook the look of surprise off his face quickly and nodded once. “Right. I just want to drink some water, and I’ll bring him to bed.”

               “’Kay,” Jimin said as he turned around and made his way to the hall. “G’night.”

               “Night,” Jungkook said, feeling the corners of his lips rise as Taehyung nuzzled his face deeper into the crook of his neck, and Jungkook took a deep breath of Taehyung’s hair, trying to save the scent in his memory for the night.

               After a short while of rubbing his hand up and down Taehyung’s back, Jungkook stood, carrying Taehyung in his arms. He took very small, very slow steps, wanting to enjoy holding Taehyung like this while he could, and Taehyung must’ve noticed, because soon, Jungkook felt warm fingers patting down the hair at the nape of his neck.

               “Jungkookie,” Taehyung said quietly, the tiredness in his voice evident.

               “Go back to sleep, hyung,” Jungkook said. “We’re almost to your room.”

               “I want to sleep with you,” Taehyung said.

               Jungkook held Taehyung tighter, trying to stop him from seeing the wide grin on his face. “Really?”

               “Mmm,” he hummed. “Sleep with me, Jungkookie.”

               There it was again, Jungkook thought. The filter trying to keep his mind from turning everything about Taehyung into something filthy. That filter, Jungkook realized immediately, was broken.

               “I really want to,” Jungkook admitted, the heat burning at his cheeks. “I want to sleep with you so badly, hyung.”

               He wanted to be close to Taehyung in every sense of the word. He wanted to hug him at night, to keep him warm, be the only one that Taehyung was comfortable around. He wanted to be Taehyung’s everything, just as Taehyung was his.

               “So, sleep with me,” Taehyung said simply, his voice still weary, but now carrying some sort of curiosity to it. He leaned back a little, enough to look Jungkook in the eyes, and enough so that their lips were merely a centimeter or two away from touching.

               Jungkook came to a slow stop in the middle of the hall, his eyes searching Taehyung’s. He felt the heat rising to his ears as his grip on Taehyung became tighter. “I want to touch you like no one else can. I want to touch you so much.”

               Taehyung stared a moment, then he said, in a voice barely over a whisper. “So, touch me, Jungkook.”

               Jungkook swallowed, glancing between Taehyung’s eyes and his lips. They were so close. “I… I want to kiss you… more than anything.”

               Taehyung’s eyelids dropped a little as Jungkook got closer, and he said, “So… kiss me… Jungkookie…”

               Jungkook closed his eyes, leaned in, waiting desperately for Taehyung’s soft lips to touch his, but before that could happen, he felt something soft fall on his shoulder, and his eyes opened. He slightly turned his head to find Taehyung’s sleeping face, and Jungkook went completely red. Taehyung had fallen asleep before their kiss…

               Jungkook’s eyes widened as he realized what had just happened, and he shook his head. No, he thought. It wouldn’t be fair. Taehyung had already given Jungkook permission to do whatever he wanted to him, whenever he wanted- it was decided… even if Taehyung was half-asleep during their entire conversation… even if he probably wouldn’t remember anything the next morning…

               Even if this meant that Jungkook himself wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight…

               Jungkook was given permission…

Reach Me By Page: Spamano One-Shot

Summary: SPAMANO- Lovino forgets his book in class one day. He doesn’t think anything of it when he initially retrieves it, until he notices his bookmark’s been replaced! What the hell sort of note is this supposed to be? And what kind of idiot leaves a note in a random library book anyway? Obviously not one who would remember to sign their name. (Fic exchange with @codevassie)

Has anyone ever told you just how wonderful books are? For one thing, they allow you to escape from your hellhole of a life. But, more than that, they’re just so entertaining I find. What was before a dreary day becomes a world full of fantastical wonders, interesting people, and wise, thought-provoking dialogue.

Books allow you to think without having to actually think, if you get what I mean. Your dull day-to-day adventures take a backseat; page my page you reach your emotional limit of how much heartbreak, gore, and betrayal you can withstand. Books challenge your wits by having you guessing at what happens next, only to have something completely unexpected happen and shock you into a reverie of other possibilities.

Life? Life is predictable and boring.

But as for books? Books are never boring; they keep you on your toes, or rather, finger tips as you flip through them

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*Scenario*

Genji/McCree with an S/O with absolutely downright terrible insomnia? How would they go about helping their S/O?

Heya!! I’m alive again everyone, and hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with my schedule again now that finals have finally ended and I survived. I actually loved this prompt because while I don’t have insomnia, I usually end up staying up very late because I’m too anxious too fall asleep. Turns out all I needed to do was get off my butt and make some tea to chill out, but insomnia obviously isn’t that easy.

Hope you enjoy these scenarios my friend! And I also hope the s/o likes tea, because that’s what I’m making them drink ahaaa <3

*If I get anything about the prompt incorrect or you find that it wasn’t what you were looking for, then please let me know and I’ll try my best to fix any mistakes in writing! 

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It’s Me (Part 1)

HI Everybody! This is going to be a long pre-story notice, but it’s all important info! So, I’m sorry-I keep starting these stories promising a second part and then not posting but it’s not going to happen with this one because the second part is written and being proofread now. I am still going to continue “His Redhead Girl” and many of you asked me to so I will continue “Happier”. Half of Part 2 of “His Redhead Girl” is written too so hopefully I can have that one posted soon as well. This story is based off of a prompt I received from an Anon asking me to write about Sharna’s response to the question asked about Val during her interview the other day. This was my take on it. It was intended as a one part story but I started writing and I couldn’t stop. So This story will be at least one more part but maybe more. Enjoy! Like/Reblog! And please send in your comments! 


“Um, Val gave you dating advice. Somebody wants to know what dating advice you have for Val and what kind of girl you want to see him with.” The question took Sharna off guard. She knew that when doing an interview, there was always the possibility of getting asked about her own love life but not about somebody else’s.

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Eternally Yours (Part 1)

Requested by @happys-crazy-queen22: “Awesomeness, Could you do a song request? Motionless in white - Eternally Yours with Happy. I love that song. If you can’t that’s totally cool. 😙😙 Thank you”

Warnings: Blood, smut, death, mentions of abuse and attempted suicide,

A/N: This is a song request. The song is called ‘Eternally Yours’ by Motionless In White. This also may be broken into parts.

Prologue: Y/N Y/L/N was a professional assassin who worked for many people including the Sons Of Anarchy. Y/N lived in a house shared with two of her great friends Herman Kozik, and Happy Lowman two of the Sons Of Anarchy, in Charming California.

Blow the bridge to the past, wipe the fingerprints

Melt your heart encased in wax, steal it with a kiss

Our fate engraved, scar enslaved, as we mutually destruct

Repose, my love, I’ve sinned enough for the both of us

In the name of love

SAMCRO had just gotten back from a deal with Darby that had went south. Y/N and her two best friends Kozik and Happy were covered in blood from the dead bodies, and the torture they had to perform on some of the men. Y/N was so well trusted by the club that they didn’t mind her tagging along sometimes. Y/N with both of her arms around Kozik and Hap yelled out to Gemma who was like her real mother,

“Hey Gem!”

“Jesus Christ! What happened to you three? Please don’t tell me that’s your blood.”

“Of course not mama. We just had a little fun, that’s all.” Said Kozik.

“Why don’t we get cleaned up and have a SAMCRO party?” Chimed in Happy. Man, did you really love Happy, you have loved him ever since you saw him. You knew he could protect you from all the bad things, hold you during scary horror movies that you loved so much, and fuck you like a queen. Little did you know Happy believe it or not he loved you too.

You were kinda glad that Happy said something about a SAMCRO party because for the past few months you learned that you had a secret admirer that you knew was your ex-boyfriend trying to stalk you. You really didn’t want to go back home because of it even though you lived with Happy and Kozik. You’ve noticed a black car following you from a distance while you were on your motorcycle, you saw him in nearly every store you went in, and he parked the car down the street, but to where he could still watch the house. You were surprised that none of the boys noticed, especially Happy; you and him were to paranoid and smart to be followed and watched.

Halfway into the party you walked outside to have a smoke. You had a few beers and a couple of shots in the clubhouse so you were a bit drunk. As you were wondering around the middle of the parking lot with a smoke and beer, you noticed the black car right outside parked on the street; your ex inside the car watching. In panic you sped walked into the Teller-Morrow office, and sat down on the sofa. Happy was in the clubhouse getting ready to play a game of pool, it was going to be Kozik and Juice on one team and Y/N and Hap on the other if he could find you. Walking outside to find you as he knew you were having a smoke, he noticed you through the window of the T-M office. You had tears streaming down your face as he walked in to find you.

“Hey little girl what’s up?” He questioned as he sat down.

“He’s stalking me, Hap I don’t know what to do.” You said quietly

“Who is babygirl?”

“My ex.”

Telling Happy everything about how he abused you, controlled you, and pushed you into a failed suicide attempt. You told Happy about him following and watching you. Getting pissed he said that it would be taken care of but it would take a little while, so that meant that you would be staying with him, Kozik, or a trusted member. Kissing the temple of your head, you and him walked back to the clubhouse to play your game of pool.

and then we fell (in love) | shawn mendes imagine

requested by @good-vibes-rollin

word count: 1,487

author’s note: i hope this is at least slightly similar to what you wanted. i’m sorry it took me so long!

Your name: submit What is this?

You were nervous. Shaking-in-your-shoes, pacing-the-floor nervous. Shawn was going to arrive at any moment, and you weren’t ready.

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Eleven Times

Author’s Note: Well I’m almost to 150, close enough for me! Because you guys been waiting for awhile, I made the first part extra long.

songs:

Castle on the Hill - Ed Sheeran

Need You Now - Lady Antebellum (this song is like from 2009, man I’m getting old)

Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers Ft. Coldplay

Pairing: Reader x Yoongi(BTS)

word count: 2200+

Genre: Angst

Originally posted by jungsooneul


The first morning I met Min Yoongi, it was raining. But I didn’t mind, I loved it. The world changed when it rained. As I walked through the city sidewalks to the large hospital, I looked up at the sky instead of at the ground. As the water cascaded from the sky, my mood soared.

I flashed my Id with a smile to the security guard at the desk and made my way to one of the elevators. I punch in the number 11 and bounce on the balls of my feet, ready to start the day. After the slow climb, the doors open and I almost skipped out. I’m met with a different kind of air when I step out like always. The world slowed down on this floor. As the world outside speed from trend to trend, this floor had its own way of moving and the reason was because of the residents who filled it. The eleventh floor was the home to the long-term patient and coma ward. Unlike the floors below us which were filled the rush of emergencies and labors, our floor had an air of calmness. As I made my way to the staff room, I waved hi to colleagues and patients. When I arrived, I hanged my coat in my locker and check my hair in the mirror one last time before taking one last deep breath to start my day.

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I found his jumper part 9|| D.H.

First Part, Second Part, Third Part, Fourth Part, Fifth Part, Sixth Part, Seventh Part, Eighth Part

A/N: Hello! I don’t know why but I felt a bit off while writing this. I really hope it didn’t turn out bad. I would also like to give a little shout out to @dan-philxreader-fics because of the super sweet message I got. 

Word Count: 1.8k

Masterlist

Originally posted by wiinterberries

“I still can’t believe it! You and assf-Dan?!” Hayley corrected herself after I had shot her a warning look. She was sprawled out on my bed, her green hair as bright as ever. I had just told her the full story without leaving out any details. Hayley had insisted on me starting at kindergarten, so I did.

It was obviously a bit hard for her to believe that I was talking about the same Dan she knew as fuckboy and jock. During my story she had to interrupt me a few times just to shout ‘Dan did that?!’ or 'He said what?!’. We had spend most of the afternoon just talking about me and him although I had actually planned to prepare for my date.

“Can you help me pick an outfit now, please?” I whined, looking at my wardrobe in frustration. I had to be ready for my first date with Dan in less than two hours and yet I still stood in front of my closet in my underwear. He didn’t even tell me where he was taking me so it was even harder to pick out the right outfit. Normally I wouldn’t make such a big deal out of something like this, but today I was kinda nervous. I didn’t want to overdress nor underdress. In the end I chose something in the middle, not too fancy and not too casual. I had to show Hayley 7 different outfits before we found the right one.

“Are you ready?” Hayley asked me five minutes before Dan would pick me up.

I swallowed hard while fumbling around with the necklace I was wearing.

“I’m just a bit nervous.” I admitted with a worried look at the clock. He’d be there any minute.

“C'mon Rose. There is nothing to stress about. From what I can tell Dan is completely crazy about you. It will be just fine.” my best friend assured me just as there was a knock on the door.

Hayley shot me one last smile before I headed to open the door. As I entered the living room I came to see that somebody had been quicker than me. Charlotte had let Dan in already.

“It’s not too late to take me out instead of her, you know.” I could clearly hear her offer. She twirled her hair around her finger and tried to sound extra seductive. That was another low point even for Charlotte. The urge to shout at her or rip her head off was stronger than ever.

'Hayley would have punched her.’ I thought to myself as I tried to calm myself down.

Gladly Dan didn’t seem were intrigued by her act. He uncomfortably scratched the back of his head.

“I’ll wait for Rose, thank you.” he answered her while his eyes were scanning the room. I internally smiled at his answer, completely forgetting my anger at the same time. As soon as Dan spotted me has face immediately glowed up.

“Ah there you are!” he happily exclaimed, scaring Charlotte with his sudden outburst.

I quickly waved at him while my eyes were scanning his body. He was wearing black skinny jeans like always paired with a dark leather jacket. Honestly he looked absolutely stunning. Seeing him like this made black my new favourite colour.  

“I’ll take over now. Thanks for answering the door.” I told Charlotte with a faked sugar sweet smile. She glared at the ground before she finally trotted back to her room in defeat. I heard her mumble something under her breath but I decided to just let it go and concentrate on Dan.

“Hi, rosy cheeks.” Dan greeted me softly and I immediately blushed at the nickname.

I gulped out a shy 'hi’ in return, making him laugh.

He took my hand in his and lead me outside to where his car was parked. I shot him a confused look as he pulled his keys from his pocket. I had assumed that we would just have dinner at a restaurant in town or watch a movie. We wouldn’t need a car for that since town was easy to reach by foot.

Trying to be the perfect gentleman Dan opened the door to his car for me. I got in, already filled with curiosity and excitement.

“I didn’t think our date would start with Charlotte trying to steal me from you. I’m sorry I -” Dan started to ramble before starting the engine.

“It’s not your fault. She’s just- I’m glad you denied her offer and chose me.” I said with a little laugh.  

“Rose, don’t be stupid. I’d choose you over everybody.” he answered, proving once again that Hayley was right. Dan was crazy about me.

He pulled his gaze from my body and grabbed the leathery steering wheel before pulling out of the parking spot. It was 6 in the afternoon on a late September day. Fall had arrived, but it wasn’t freezing cold outside yet. I alternated between mindlessly gazing out of the window and staring at Dan. He looked hot when he was driving. I remembered the time he got his diver’s licence during High School and girls went crazy over it.

After a 10 minutes drive we joined the motorway and I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Dan where are we going?” I blurted out louder than I had planned to.

He just laughed and shook his head.

“I’m not telling you. I know how much you love surprises.” he teased and I stuck out my tongue at him in response.

“I only love surprises if my curiosity is not killing me before I get to see them.” I pouted, making another throaty laugh escape his mouth.    

After an hour of driving, talking and listening to music we still hadn’t arrived at whatever place Dan was taking me to. I didn’t mind though. I loved long car rides and we had enough time to catch up on all the things we missed out on because we were too busy hating on each other. It was nice to have Dan back. It was so easy to talk to him. My shyness and nervousness were gone in an instance.

“Are we there, yet?” I jokingly asked, after 2 hours of driving.

Dan was just about to answer as I started to recognize the highway streets and the street signs suddenly spoke of familiar places.

“Oh my god, no way. Dan!” I shouted, basically pressing my face against the window. My nose touched the cold glass as I stared at my home town in front of the car’s window.

“Surprise.” Dan chuckled, looking at my startled face with an amused grin.

After 2 and a half hours we had finally arrived and Dan parked his car between my childhood home and his. It brought back a lot of memories and coming here again with him meant a lot.

“I can’t believe you drove me back here on our first date.” I exclaimed as we both got out of the car. I looked around with wide eyes. Everything obviously still looked the same. It hadn’t been that long since I left for university, but I missed this place. Dan took my hand in his again, but instead of leading me to one of our houses to greet our parents, he walked off into another direction.

“Dan what -” I was about to ask as I realized that he was guiding me towards the forest we used to play in all summer when we were younger. My heart was jumping with delight as we returned to this place together. We walked next to each other closely. The leaves had already changed colour and twigs were cracking underneath our feet.

After ten minutes of walking next to each other we reached our old tree house. The wood it was made out of looked a little rotten already and it was hidden behind wild plants, but besides that it still looked the same.

“Do you remember the time we slept in the tree house?” Dan asked me as we stopped in front of it.

“Convincing my mum to allow me to sleep there took forever.” I laughed, remembering the huge amount of pleas and puppy dog eyes it took me to make her say yes.

“I also remember that a certain someone got pretty scared during the night.” Dan said teasingly and nudged me with his elbow.

“That certain someone was you Dan.” I reminded him with a giggle, making him blush.

“Oh yeah, you are right.” he mumbled and looked away in embarrassment.

“Aw look who is blushing now. I honestly thought you were pretty cute especially when you crawled into my sleeping bag.” I told him with a big smile.

We had ended up spending the whole night in the same sleeping bag because some strange noise scared the the living hell out of Dan. I had gone camping with my parents a lot so I wasn’t scared at all.

We didn’t dare to climb up the tree house in case the old wood would crush under our weight. Instead we kept walking until we reached a huge field.

In the middle of it was a little hill, our hill. It was already quite dark outside, but the moon was nearly full and one could see a lot of stars. Hand in hand, Dan and I made our way through the knee high grass. We sat down on top of the hill, just like we used to when we were kids.

“Thank you.” I whispered overwhelmed by all of this.

“I thought it would be a good idea. You know? I’d like to rewrite the story that is us. The last time we were here I held your hand and you realized that you have feelings for me.”

In the same moment he said that he intertwined our fingers.

“Let’s be what we could have been back then now. I got a second chance and I promise I won’t screw it up. I really want to make us work. I promise to do everything to make you happy, Rose.”  

And with that being said I kissed him as if it would seal his promise. The butterflies were back and I couldn’t think straight anymore. I felt like I was in a daze. His lips moved against mine in a slow rhythm at first. Dan’s hands were holding onto my waist as he was pulling me closer. I tangled my fingers in his brown hair, while his tongue brushed my bottom lip. His tall figure felt warm against my body, but that wasn’t the only reason why I was dying to be as close to him as possible. My heart was racing and my mind went completely blank as Dan’s lips began moving faster and more needily against mine.

I liked this story a lot more already.

All I Wanted; C.H. 5

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

I think more than thirty minutes has passed while Meredith desperately searches for a pair of jeans that’s fairly clean for me to wear – apparently she was as disgusting as I was. I’m occupying her bed, splayed out like a star fish as I hear the boys laugh loudly outside, indicating their arrival.

“Do you mind joggings?” Meredith suddenly speaks up and I raise my head off of the sheets before pushing my upper body upright. “Nah, I don’t care.” Dark blue pants fly in my direction and within a minute I’ve ridden myself off my skirt and replaced them.
“So, did you get the date with Michael you wanted?”

“We went for breakfast yesterday; it’s was quite nice. Sometimes he can be romantic if he wants to.” Meredith smiles as we make our way through the house towards the back porch where the guys were seated. “All men can be.”

“All men can be what?” Ashton grins and I roll my eyes as I drop myself into the seat next to him, opposite to Calum. “All men can be romantic, if they aspire to be.” I wink as I grab a can of beer from the middle of the table and pop it’s lid.

“I don’t understand why girls expect us to be romantic.” Calum groans as he lets his gaze wander around the table, and I’m quickly to reciprocate.
“I don’t get why guys expect a blow job on the first date, but hey, shit happens Cal.”

The company starts laughing, some more loudly than others as I catch Calum’s gaze. He raises an eyebrow in my direction and when he speaks, I can feel my whole frame freeze momentarily.
“Does Netflix and chill count as a first date?”

When I am shaken back to reality I shrug my shoulders at Calum’s question. “Depends.”
“On what?” He pesters on, the others falling back into conversation with one another, no one paying attention to us. “On if both parties considered it a date.”

Calum crosses his arms over his chest as he leans back in his seat, his cigarette dangling from his lips. “And how do I know if it was considered one?” I take a sip of my can, letting my gaze fall on Meredith smiling at her boyfriend, before I turn back to Calum. “Sometimes all you got to do is just ask.”

“Y/n, when was the last time a guy did a romantic gesture for you?” Meredith suddenly butts in and I am completely startled, my eyes widening when I think she had been following Calum and I’s interaction. When I realize she didn’t, I sigh deeply and hum in response. “Let me think…” I breathe, tapping my chin as I recollect my thoughts. “2011.”

“It isn’t fair; this girl hasn’t had a boyfriend in years!” Michael lets out loudly and I should be offended, but he only receives an eye roll out of me. “Thanks Michael, much appreciated.”
He shrugs his shoulders in response, a sheepish grin covering his lips as some sort of apology.
“And what did this boy do wrong?” I start laughing loudly when Meredith speaks the words, and I know where she’s heading to.

“Ah, he cancelled our date for the third time. Later, I learned he had cheated on me during that last cancellation as well.” I smirk, winking at Meredith who gloats visibly. Michael and the other boys scoff, Michael throwing his hands in the air in defeat.
“You’ve dated pricks.” Calum states matter-of-factly, pointing his hand that holds a can of beer in my direction and I nod my head in confirmation. “Maybe I did, but still. I’ve experienced it’s usually when a guy has done something wrong.”

“Or, for sex.” Meredith adds and I laugh again, clapping my hands while nodding my head. “I don’t like to say you’re right, but you are. The male population sometimes could learn something from romantic movies.”
“You want me to make you some creepy assignments, scatter them all over town and die so you can do them?” Calum raises his eyebrows and I can’t supress the grin that crawls on my lips, so big that it almost hurts.

“Someone has seen P.S. I love you, haven’t they Cal?” I wink and I see his cheeks colour in a red hue while he shakes his head. “It’s just a very well-known movie.”
“Hmm. That’s it of course.” I grin but leave it at that, not wanting to embarrass him in front of his mates.

“I should get ready.” Calum pushes himself up from his seat, sighing deeply. He seems knackered already although it’s so early in the evening. “Where you off to?” I decide to question, hoping I don’t come over as a stalker but more as if I’m genuinely interested – which I am of course.

“I have to work at the bar tonight. You’re always welcome to hangout and have a drink,” Calum looks around the table and grins, “all of you, of course.”
I gaze at Meredith who shrugs her shoulders in a ‘I don’t care’ manner, and I clap my hands with a bright grin on my lips. “Guess we have something to do tonight.”

It’s actually quite pleasant, sitting at the bar, bickering between friends as we share stories from when we were younger. There are a few good memories, but most of them were awkward, hilarious ones that almost made me fall off of my high bar chair.

Alcohol had flooded between us, more so the boys, and Luke and Ash had called it a day just half an hour prior. Michael had been singing along – loudly if I may add – to the radio silently resonating through the almost packed bar. He was completely wasted and I know Meredith was angering herself by trying to keep an eye out for him.

“Maybe you should take him home, he looks like shit.” I point to Michael when I catch Meredith’s attention, his head on the wooden bar as he whines about a stomach ache. It won’t be very long or the contents of Michael’s stomach will be spilled along the floor.

“Yeah, I am going home.” Meredith chugs the rest of her drink down her throat, slamming the glass on the table. “And you’re coming with me, right now.” She finishes off and an immediate involuntary whine leaves my lips.

“Ah man, really? I don’t want to go home yet.” I whine, breathing through my nose as I pout at Meredith. Michael is almost asleep on the bar a few seats over, and I realize it’s best for them if he finds his own, soft bed. “Well, I don’t want you to walk home in the dark all by yourself.” Meredith argues, her hands on her hips as she glares in my direction.

“I’ll bring her home, don’t worry.” Calum smiles at Meredith and she gazes from me to Calum and back to me, probably hoping to get any visual response out of me. I shrug my shoulders, “I don’t care, fine by me.” Meredith squeezes my shoulders as she comes to stand behind me, arms gliding along my neck to give me a firm hug. “Be careful. I’ll talk to you later.”

I hum in response and smile, pressing my lips to my best friend’s cheek before I refocus on the empty beer glass in front of me. “In that case Cal, fill me up.” I wink, holding it out to him as he leans over the bar, his tongue poking past his plump pink lips before he’s filling it up with more beer.

“At what time are you off?” I decide to ask when Meredith has dragged Michael out of the bar, leaving me alone with a busy Calum who’s preparing cocktails for a bunch of giggly girls in the left corner of the bar. “In an hour, at closing time.” Calum smiles at me before he focuses his attention back on the busty girl next to me, sliding the four cocktails her way.

“Here you go dear.” Calum winks at the girl and she giggles in return, probably smitten by the handsome looks Calum was blessed with. I can’t help but frown and I hear Calum chuckle so I know he’s staring at me. “Don’t look so angry babe, you’re going home with me anyway.”

“Ah, Cal. You wish I were.” I laugh, shaking my head at his stupid attempt at a lame pick up line. He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I almost spit out my beer.

You can read part 6 right here.

Cats and Scarves: A Short Story

It’s always cold first thing in the morning, so Eleanor is sure to bundle up with her scarf and sweater, as she downs her coffee and struggles with the key to lock the door. Her car takes a while to wake up, and she curses under her breath, checking the time on her phone. 8:47. She’s trying to get to the new pet shelter, to volunteer- it’s not really a job, but it’s a start, and working in movie theatres isn’t going to work out forever. She backs her car out of her driveway, checking the road for ice, then deeming it safe as she slides a CD into the player. She’d better not be late.

The shelter is warm, is the first thing Zaire registers as she steps inside, pulling her coat out of the way so it doesn’t jam in the door. There are a couple of people already there, silently looking at their phones. So much for Zaire’s hope to make friends. It stinks less than she expected, and the walls in the office are adorned with photos of dogs and cats. Zaire smiles. She’d love a dog, she’s always been a dog person. Suddenly the door opens with a suction-like noise, as wind desperately tries to overwhelm the office, and someone else comes through. They’re almost smothered in a huge scarf and sweater, and Zaire can tell they’ve now noticed the temperature, because the scarf is hesitantly pulled off and stuffed in a bag. Then the new arrival sinks down onto a waiting chair, picking at their nails. Without the scarf, Zaire can see that the newcomer has long, dirty blonde hair, messy but beautiful. Maybe this would be more interesting than Zaire thought.

A tall vet with hair cut in a blunt bob enters through a door at the back, immediately capturing everyone’s attention. Including Eleanor, there are four people, and the vet stands in front of them, gaze sweeping over them. Eleanor feels self conscious and resists the urge to pull back her hair. “I’m Amy Pinnock,” the vet announces, her voice firm but kind, “Are you all here for the volunteer positions?” Eleanor nods along with everyone else, and Amy looks satisfied. “Alright then,” she says. “Follow me.”

The first day is more introductory than anything, though Dave is asked to clean out a litterbox, which he does so somewhat resentfully. Zaire feels a surge of annoyance. It’s not a nice job, but he knew what he was signing up for, didn’t he? The other two volunteers are introduced as Daisy and Eleanor, who is the one with the beautiful, messy hair that Zaire can’t stop staring at. Her own hair has been pulled into a messy bun, which she usually does so she doesn’t have to deal with it. She has the kind of hair that is always tangling, no matter how much hair conditioner she uses. Eleanor smells of grapefruit and lemon, and it makes Zaire feel a little dizzy. She can’t afford to get distracted, especially on the first day, but it’s hard to ignore someone with the kind of presence Eleanor has. Inescapable.

After a week on the job, Eleanor gets used to the smell, the constant threat of having your eye scratched out by Penny, a tabby cat who had been rescued recently, and even getting up early. She starts getting friendly with the other volunteers, learning that Daisy wants to become a full time veterinarian, and Dave has never had a pet due to his parents having allergies. The one person she doesn’t know much about is Zaire, a girl with eyes the colour of grass, and hair that is always pulled up and out of her face. She isn’t secretive, but she doesn’t exactly volunteer information, she’s friendly enough but always seems to escape under Eleanor’s gaze. She feels drawn to Zaire, more than she’s ever felt anything before, and the need to know her properly is starting to eat away at her. Finally on Friday, the end of the second week, Eleanor and Zaire end up working late, cleaning cat dishes. At first they keep up a mild chatter of small talk, then eventually it fades and they work in a silence that feels magnetic- anything but wrong. There’s a pull between them, and eventually Zaire pulls out her phone to check the time, and her wallpaper catches Eleanor’s eye. “Shrek?” She asks, a smile tugging at her lips. Zaire looks over, and Eleanor expects her to shrug and go silent, but she smiles, too, pocketing the phone. “I have this weird thing for the Shrek movies,” she admits, and Eleanor feels excited for this bit of information. She doesn’t want it to end, so she asks, “What movie is your favourite?” Zaire smiles again, and it lights up her eyes. “I don’t know. I think Shrek offers more on self acceptance and friendship, while Shrek 2 is more about love and the risks you’ll take to save it. And, well, Shrek’s 3 and 4. Not that newsworthy, in my opinion. I guess both the first and second have different things to offer, and are great in different ways. Do… you like Shrek?” Her voice goes a bit quieter when she says this, as if she’s scared of the answer. “Absolutely,” Eleanor replies. “You know, I’d never really analysed it before, like you did. It was interesting.” Zaire smiles, scrubbing a bowl. “What’s your favourite movie?” Eleanor doesn’t have to think long. “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Aside from being bloody hilarious, it really opens a new door in the series.” She feels confident admitting her Potter obsession, not only because Zaire is a self-admitted Shrek follower, but because the air around them feels peaceful. She’s surprised when Zaire admits, “I’ve never seen Harry Potter.”

“What? No way! You must’ve at least seen the first one?”
“Nope. My mum thought it was too dark when I was a kid, and then I just never felt compelled to check it out. I tried reading one of the books, but it didn’t make much sense. I think it was the Order Of the Phoenix?”

“Of course it didn’t make sense, it’s right in the middle of the series!” Eleanor laughs. “You need to read it in order!”

When she stops speaking, it all feels quieter than before.

“Maybe I will then,” Zaire smiles, reaching for a hand towel, at the same time as Eleanor. Their fingers brush, and Eleanor nearly jumps. Is this normal to Zaire? She doesn’t know if the tension and chemistry is one sided. When they’re finished with the last of the dishes, Zaire wishes Eleanor a good night, and leaves to catch the late bus. Eleanor makes her way to her car, and sits in the seat for a moment, going over everything that just happened. She smiles to herself, shakes her head, and turns the keys to get the engine started.

It’s two days before Zaire gets to see Eleanor again, and she passes the time listening to poppy, bright music and checking facebook, where she and Eleanor have recently added each other as friends. When Monday finally rolls around, you wouldn’t have known anything had happened on Friday, save for Eleanor and Zaire’s private smiles. By the end of Zaire’s shift with Daisy, Daisy starts talking about a party she’s hosting, and invites Zaire along. She adds that all the volunteers are invited, which puts a new batch of butterflies in Zaire’s stomach.

The week leading up to Daisy’s party is relatively calm, and Eleanor feels a tingle in her chest when she hears Zaire saying she’ll be at the party. On Saturday night, she goes through her drawers and wardrobe, eventually settling on a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt. The volunteers are supposed to change into hospital scrubs during shifts, and she’s hoping to come across as gay as she could. Which is how she dresses generally. At six thirty, she went into the kitchen and grabs a six pack of muffins, then gets in the car and makes her way to the address Daisy had sent.

Zaire is early to the party, and despite Daisy insisting it’s fine, she feels awkward. She’s wearing a green dress, nothing fancy, but nice enough. She’s also brought a bottle of sparkling grape juice, as she isn’t a huge drinker, and the bottle sits alone on the table. Daisy has gone off into the kitchen, leaving Zaire alone, also. She wants to help Daisy set up, but she’s already told her she’s fine with her just waiting. Maybe she just doesn’t want to make conversation with Zaire. Regardless, she is stuck sitting on a lavender coloured couch, with her phone.

When Eleanor gets to Daisy’s house, people have already started drinking, even though it’s only 7 at night, and Zaire is seated in between Dave and a giggly brunette. She doesn’t look unhappy, exactly, just out of place. Eleanor wipes her hands on her jeans, seeing Zaire’s dress. She looks beautiful. Eleanor walks over to the couch, ignoring the nervous feeing that arises, that always arises around large groups of people. It’s not what you could call a small party. “Hey,” she says, trying to sound casual.

“Hey,” Zaire replies, a small smile appearing on her face.

“Um,” Eleanor says, and Zaire frowns a little.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m- I just-“

Zaire gets up and shows Eleanor to the back door. No one is out there yet, so they have the cool and quiet night to themselves.

“Hey,” Zaire says, in a tone that Eleanor has never heard her use.

Concern.

“What’s up?” She scans Eleanor’s face, and Eleanor is surprised to feel a tingly feeling in her chest, despite her anxiety. And then, oh god. Zaire is seeing her freak out. She turns away, embarrassed, and Zaire takes her arm, gently.
“Hey. It’s okay. You’re okay,” she says softly, and Eleanor forces herself to look back at her, and tries to breathe normally.

“Hey. Hey. Just take, take one breath in, and hold it in for three seconds.”
Eleanor complies.

“Okay, now let it out slowly, for three seconds.”

She does, her heart already beating a little more normally.

“Now do a little kind of sigh, to push it out more, but gently.”

After a few more breaths, Eleanor’s head feels dizzy, and she looks for somewhere to sit. Zaire sits next to her on the grass, and Eleanor suddenly remembers, somewhere in her mind, that it’s winter, and Zaire just took her into the freezing cold air, stayed out there, despite only wearing a dress, and helped her. The realisation is still sinking in when she sees Zaire shivering slightly. She wants to kick herself, why didn’t she bring a jacket? She could have offered it to her. Instead, Zaire lies back and looks up at the sky. Eleanor follows, her head softly hitting the damp grass. The sky is going dark, as it does around winter, and stars are starting to appear- just a few, so excited that they can’t wait for the sky to go completely dark. Too excited to shine.

It’s quiet, but comfortably so, and Eleanor can hear every breath Zaire takes, every move she makes. She rolls her head on her side so she can look at her. Her voice comes out unexpectedly.

“Why do you always tie your hair up?”

Zaire looks surprised at the question, but replies. “It’s just easier to deal with, I guess. It’s a bit… wild.”

“I wanna see.” Eleanor wasn’t planning on saying those words, but the second they’re out she realises it’s true. She does want to see it. Zaire rolls onto her stomach to look at Eleanor.
“Really?”

Eleanor nods.

“You’re sure?”

“God, how bad is it?” Eleanor asks, and Zaire laughs. Then she sits up, straightens her back, and starts to pull the tie from her hair. Eleanor is in awe as the dark locks tumble down around her shoulders, lively and, as Zaire said, wild.

“So, what’s the verdict?” Zaire asks, finally looking up at Eleanor. “Too wild?” A shy smile, bright eyes, and that wild hair.

“I.” Eleanor wants to say something, anything, but words are failing. She’s overcome by Zaire’s beauty. All she wants is to reach over, pull her in, and meet her lips with her own. She shakes her head. Not worth the risk. She swallows and replies, “It’s lovely.”

After the volunteers’ first month at the shelter, Zaire sends Eleanor a message. It’s late, or early, depending on your view, and she can’t sleep.

“Hey.”

Her phone makes a buzzing noise.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Can’t sleep.”

“Me neither… you wanna talk?”
“Sure.”
“Can you believe it’s been a month since we started volunteering?”

“I know, it feels like forever. Especially when I’m cleaning up cat pee.”

“How come you’re volunteering if you hate it so much?”

“I don’t hate it. And I don’t know. I wanted to meet more people, I guess.”

“And what do you think of the people you’ve met?”

Is that flirting?

“You’re cool. I feel like I’ve known you a long time. Daisy’s cool, but I don’t think she likes me much.”

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t know, she just seems to act weird around me. I don’t know, maybe she’s just like that.”

“Did you know she has a thing for Dav?”

“*Dave.”

“Really?”
“Yeah.”

“Huh.”

“What about you?”
“Not my type.”

“I mean, are you seeing anyone?”
“No. How about you?”

Zaire’s heart beats hard as she awaits Eleanor’s answer.

“No. I was talking to this girl a while ago, but it didn’t work out.”

“Oh.”

“I have to go to sleep now, but it was great talking to you J see you tomorrow.”

It’s on Wednesday that Eleanor finally says something.

“Hey, Zaire,” she calls, trying to be quiet so she doesn’t scare the cats. Not that Penny got scared of anything.

“Yeah?” Zaire comes over to where Eleanor is crouching, feeding the cats.

“I was wondering. If sometime, you wanted to, I don’t know, get a coffee or something? Or just hang out? Um, yeah,” she finishes pathetically.

Zaire is smiling when Eleanor finally looks up.

“I’d like that. Yeah.”

ONE YEAR LATER

Zaire’s phone goes off, the opening lines of All Star. She checks it, and sees a text. “Nearly there! :)” Zaire smiles and puts the phone down as Penny nips at her toe. She and Eleanor have adopted a few cats, including bad-tempered Penny, who, as it turns out, just needed some love. She didn’t think she was a cat person, but she’d fallen in love with them.

The door is suddenly pulled open, as Eleanor rushes in, her scarf making her almost unrecognizable, like the first time Zaire saw her. Zaire smiles at the memory, and Eleanor dumps shopping bags on the floor, and meets Zaire for a kiss. Zaire closes her eyes, smiling into it, her arms around Eleanor’s back, holding her. Around them, she hears a cat meow and feels another rub up against her leg, and she’s never felt so content.

The End.

Live Broadcast (G-Dragon Scenario)

Requested by anonymous

I honestly had so much fun with this one, so I hope you’ll like it, darling ^^ Enjoy~

Summary: You’re a popular solo artist and do a live broadcast via Naver’s V app. While answering questions asked by your fans, you open up and end up being quite honest with them. Unbeknownst to you, Ji Yong is watching and, while the broadcast is still going, you recieve a call - from him.

Keep reading

That Would Be Enough

A/N: Alright alright alright, the time has come for the longest oneshot I have ever written. This little beauty has been written in honor of @yourbuddyyourpalyourbucky‘s birthday. She deserves so much more than a fic, but I’m a terrible friend and haven’t gotten around to mailing the rest of it off yet. Regardless! Roo! I wrote this fic specifically for you! I really really hope you like it and that you have the best birthday ever!! I hope you enjoy the fic ;u;

Pairing: BuckyxReader

Word Count: 7627

Warnings: Angst, lots and lots of angst.


There are a lot of things that we take for granted in life. Things we forget to take in, savour, relish and appreciate. When I met him I made a promise to myself that I would slow down and live in every single moment I had with him. I made a promise to him that I would never lose myself. That I would make sure to slow down and take care of myself. Coincidentally, I made him make me the same promise.

James Buchanan Barnes is an incredible man. He’s strong, kind, soft, caring and intensely dedicated. He has a focus unlike any other person I’ve ever met. I admire him deeply. I might even go so far as to say that I love him. The only drawback to that is the fact that he doesn’t feel he deserves it. He’s very self destructive in that respect. After so many years as an assassin and of being alone, he always seems to talk himself out of any and every good thing that could possibly have a place in his life.

I remember quite vividly the first time I realized he was doing this.

After one of Stark’s famous after parties died down, the whole team was strewn about in one of the various lounges on one of the upper levels of the tower. Everyone was laughing, drinking, talking amongst themselves and just enjoying themselves in general. I remember watching Bucky from the other side of the coffee table. He was sitting quietly, observing everyone, listening to their banter, a small smile playing at his lips. Then, in an instant, it was gone. The grip he had on the beer bottle in his right hand tightened and his left hand seemed to clamp down on his thigh. I could practically see the gears turning in his head as he talked himself out of having a good time. His gaze fell from the group to his lap and I felt my heart plummet to the ground floor. This man has been through hell and back too many times to count and if anyone deserved a win, it was him. The only flaw in that logic being that he was at war with himself.

After a moment of concentrating on his lap he had downed his beer, said goodnight to Steve and excused himself from the room.

I remember staring at the whiskey in my rocks glass, wanting so badly to go after him. To convince him that he was allowed to have fun and bring him back to the group. In the end, I talked myself out of it and, instead, excused myself and went to my own room.

Over time he and I grew close.

An injury prevented me from going out on field missions for a couple months. After everything he’d done, Bucky made a deal with Steve that he would only be called in on the team as a last resort. He didn’t want to get back into combat and field work, so he stayed back and took care of me unless a mission called for his assistance.

For the most part he just made sure I had food, water, and pain medication and ensured that I didn’t strain my body when I moved. In return for his help, I became his movie, music and book catch up buddy. In the span of a week and a half he read through the entirety of Harry Potter and got me to watch each movie with him as soon as he finished the corresponding book.

When he finished “Order Of The Phoenix” he, gently, dragged me out of bed at two in the morning to watch the movie. I was half asleep during the film, but I remember him crying when Sirius went through the veil. After the movie was over we both crashed on the couch. We fell asleep, my head on his shoulder and his head resting atop mine. I was the first to wake up the next morning. Bucky had shifted in his sleep and his arms were looped loosely around my middle, his head in my lap. He looked more peaceful than he had in months and, needless to say, I was no longer upset with him for waking me up in the middle of the night just to watch a movie.

When he first arrived, he had terrible nightmares. That’s not to say he doesn’t have nightmares anymore, but they were the “wake up in the middle of the night, yelling, screaming, thrashing and drenched in a cold sweat” sort of nightmares. At first Steve was called into his room to help calm him down, but after about a month of him taking care of me he started seeking me out instead. Most of the time he’ll just crawl into bed with me and fall back asleep, but other times he’ll gently nudge me till I roll over and curl into his side before gently wrapping his arms around me and falling asleep with his chin on top of my head.

Sometimes I’d be awake when he came in. I welcome him with open arms and an offer to talk. Until recently he would shake his head and decline the offer, but now he’ll quickly tell me what happened in his vision in a hushed voice before slowly relaxing and falling asleep.

Tonight is no different.

I feel the bed dip slightly, rousing me from my shallow slumber. When I roll over, I find bucky staring at me, but his thoughts are somewhere else entirely. His eyes glisten with the beginnings of tears and I immediately reach out to him, cupping one of his stubbly cheeks with my hand.

“Hey, Buck,” My voice comes out quiet and groggy sounding. “What’s up?”

“I killed them,” He whispers, his gaze still far off. “I killed all of them…”

“Whaddaya mean, sweetheart?” I ask, my mind still too tired to understand what he’s talking about.

“Tony’s mother, his father…” He squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head, a couple of tears rolling down his cheeks. I quickly wipe them away with my thumbs, waking up more at the sight of his distress. “So many people dead… so many… and it’s all my fault,” He covers his face with his hands, his fingers tangling in the hair that frames his face and pulling harshly. “All my fault…”

“Bucky,” I say, my tone gentle, trying to loose his hands from his hair. He just shakes his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Bucky!” I say with a little more force this time, trying a little harder now to calm him down. “Come on, sweetheart, I can’t help you if you don’t let me.”

His grip loosens slightly and I seize the opportunity to grab his wrists. I gently pull his hands out of his hair and away from his face. He makes no attempt to pull at his hair again and I quickly busy myself with wiping away his tears.

“I’m so sorry.” he looks up at me, eyes tired.

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” I card my fingers through his hair, trying to soothe and lull him back into sleep. He yawns widely, wrapping his arms around my waist and nestling into my body.

“I’m sorry…” He repeats, his voice more drowsy now.

“Don’t worry abou-”

“I love you, (Y/N).”

The words seem to fall easily from his mouth before his soft snores fill the room.

“I love you too.” I whisper.

I don’t know where to go from there.

Bucky just told me he loves me and then promptly fell asleep before I could say anything. I told him I loved him, but I don’t think he heard me. What am I supposed to do in this situation? Wake him up to tell him I love him? No, I can’t take his rest from him. Should I confront him in the morning? What if he didn’t really mean it? What would even happen if I asked him?

I lay awake, trying to think of what to do until my body can’t handle it anymore and I fall into an involuntary sleep.

I’m roused by a siren piercing the air. It can only mean one thing: We’ve got an emergency mission.

I scramble out of bed, racing to my closet in search of my uniform. Throwing open the doors, I rip the outfit from its hangers and toss it onto the bed. I peel off my pyjamas before struggling into my sports bra and leggings. From there I tug on my pants and tight compression shirt. I hear something shift on my bed as I’m tucking in my shirt. I’m startled for a moment before I realize it’s Bucky. He didn’t leave this time. I pause for a moment, amazed that he’s still here. Then I remember what happened last night and yank my overshirt and coat on, harshly berating myself for being soft. He was just tired. I’m his friend and his colleague. I can’t afford to think like that.

Before he can even sit up in bed I scoop up my kevlar vest and combat boots before sprinting through my door and down the hallway. I practically throw myself down the stairs as I descend them two at a time in an attempt to get to the hangar in record time.

When I arrive at the quinjet I startle Steve so badly he nearly drops the tablet he’s holding. He just looks at me, surprise etched into his features. He’s never seen me ready for a mission this quickly, let alone in an unscheduled one.

“Good morning.” I say, quickly boarding the quinjet and plopping down in my seat.

“Good morning.” He responds, watching me with curiosity as I tug on my boots and tie them almost too tightly. “You’re up early.”

“I guess I am.” I pull at the tongue of my left boot to loosen it up a little. “Before you ask why, I’m trying something new.”

“Alright,” He shrugs and goes back to his pre-mission prep work.

As soon as he’s out of sight I shrug off my jacket and unzip the collar of my overshirt. I rise from my seat, leaving my jacket and vest in a heap on my seat and busy myself with my own preparations. I move about the quinjet making sure all of my gear is there. My goggles, guns, knives, brass knuckles, extra magazines, rounds and clips. Everything is in it’s rightful place, ready for use when the time is right. I move on, doing a systems check of the software for my goggles. The scanners are working perfectly and the information readout is clean. Everything is good. From there I move on to setting up comms for the mission.

I sit in my seat, legs criss cross, hunched over the tablet and keyboard set up in my lap. I’m focusing on syncing up everyone’s earwigs, making sure connections stay strong and that everyone can be reached, even in a dead zone.

When I look up from my work, I find that almost everyone has taken their seat. When clint jogs up the ramp and buckles into his seat beside me, Tony takes off and we’re headed off to the mission site.

It’s about five hours before we’re able to land. Finding a hidden landing spot takes time and Steve takes the opportunity to fill us in on the mission at hand.

“Alright, when we were woken up, not so long ago, F.R.I.D.A.Y. had picked up a distress signal from somewhere in Russia. Upon further investigation we determined that the signal came from a Hydra base that was thought to be deserted. We don’t know what we’re going to find once we get in there, so we should be prepared for the worst.” He looks around the cabin, very serious. “Be safe and don’t do anything stupid.”

“I will try my very best.” Clint says from my side. I elbow him in the ribs and he laughs. “Sorry, just trying to diffuse the tension.”

I roll my eyes and shove him, gently, before standing and distributing everyone’s earwigs. We do a quick comms check before everyone gathers their gear. After going over the plan, the ramp is lowered. We exit the quinjet only to be hit with a sharp gust of cold wind.

“Alright,” Tony says, hands on his hips. “Let’s do our jobs and not get killed.”

Everyone splits off into their pairs. Steve goes with Sam, Nat and Clint head off on their own, Tony flies off with Rhodey hot on his trail and Bucky and I are left to our own devices.

Our task is to sweep the upper and lower levels of the east wing. There are five floors altogether. It’s a lot of ground to cover and we don’t have a lot of time.

“Should we split up?” I ask.

“No,” Bucky answers. “Whatever’s here could be dangerous. We need to stick together.”

I nod stiffly and we head into the facility.

The East wing is furthest away from the entrance. We sprint down the hall to our assigned area. When we arrive we find that the ground floor is covered in dust except for about eighteen spots that look like they could be human footprints. Based on the shape of the prints I would guess that whoever they belong to isn’t a soldier.

“Steve,” I press a finger to my earwig so he can hear me. “We’ve got footprints on the ground floor of the East wing.”

“Find out where they came from.” He says. “Be careful.”

“Got it.” Bucky responds.

I pry open the door to the stairway and peer inside. The shaft is lit by flickering emergency lights, giving the entire space an eerie feeling. Without much thought I pull an industrial glow stick from my belt, crack it and hang it around my neck before pulling out my flashlight.

“So,” I shine the light up the stairwell and then down. “Up first, or down?”

“Down,” Bucky produces his own flashlight and turns it on.

“Alright, down it is.”

We quickly descend the stairs to the level labeled B3. After a little looking around we determine that the level is deserted. We move on to B2 and it’s a completely different story. The area is brightly lit and clean. There are different machines everywhere and nearly all of them are making some sort of whirring or beeping noise.

“I guess we know why everywhere else is on emergency power now.” I comment, eyeing our surroundings warily. “Most, if not all, power in the wing is being diverted to this floor.”

“Y’know, I really don’t like that tone of voice.” He says, his voice hushed. “Especially in places like this and on missions like this one.”

“Sorry,” I quickly apologize. “I’m worried about what we might find here. I swear if we find more like the twins I’m gonna lose it.”

“I don’t think we will.” Bucky peers through a windows set into one of the doors, the grip on his gun tightening. “This doesn’t look like the places where they experiment on people. Even if it is, the experiments won’t be down here. They’re more likely to be kept where whoever’s working on them can keep an eye on them. This looks more medical than anything else.”

“Still,” I open one of the doors. “I don’t like the look of… this…place.”

I reel back from the sight before me. There are bodies and flies everywhere. The smell alone has my eyes watering.

“They’re… they’re dead.” Bucky breathes. “All of them. I-I, (Y/N), I can’t… I-”

A loud, pained moan stops his words instantly. Bucky and I both immediately cease any movements, surprised by the sound. We frantically look around, desperately trying to find the source of the noise.

“Where are you?!” I hiss, sifting through the bodies in search of the one live person.

“H-here,” A voice says weakly. I whip my head around, still unable to pinpoint where the voice came from.

“It came from over there.” Bucky points to the other side of the room.

I rush over to where Bucky had pointed to find a man slumped against the wall. He’s covered in blood, his hair is matted and his breathing is labored. The soft orange light from the glowstick makes him look gaunt and sickly.

“Hey,” I say quietly, pushing his hair back from his face. “Hey there, darlin’.” He lazily lifts his eyes to look at me. “What’s your name?”

“D-david,” He manages to stutter out. “M-my name is D-david.”

“Hey, David. I’m (Y/N), this is Bucky.”

“Hi.” Bucky crouches down beside me.

“We’re here to help you.”

“Are there any more of you guys here?” Bucky asks.

“No,” He shakes his head, his words slurring. “They killed everyone else. Th-there was an uprising amongst all of us a-and they killed e-everyone.”

“How are you alive then?”

“I got hit here,” He points to a dark wound on his hip. “A-and I went down. I covered myself w-with as much of the others blood as I could a-and they thought I was dead too.”

“That was a good move.” I nod, impressed by his quick thinking. “Can you walk?”

“I-I think so, if I have help.” He says, nodding slowly, his fatigue obvious in his movements.

“Don’t worry,” I quickly unzip my jacket, take it off and help David into it. “We’ll get you all the help you need.”

Bucky hands me his gun and helps David to his feet. David’s got his arm draped loosely across Bucky’s shoulders, but Buck y has a firm hold on David’s waist. There’s no way he’ll fall from Bucky’s arms. When we reach the stairs, David’s legs won’t carry him, so Bucky scoops him up and carries him bridal style up the two flights of stairs to the ground level.

“Steve, we’ve got a live one.”

“Okay, get them out and keep your guard up.”

“Got it.” I nod even though he can’t see me. “Let’s get outta here, Buck.”

When we reach the main hallway we hear the sounds of combat outside. There are shouts, loud clangs of things against Steve’s shield, both Tony and Rhodey’s repulsors firing, the staccato sounds of shotguns being fired and the short, sporadic bursts of machine gun fire.

“Sounds like a warzone out there.” Bucky says quietly.

“We can do this, we can do this, we can do this, we can…” I chant, bouncing on the balls of my feet a little bit.

“Of course we can do this.” Bucky says. I let out a shaky breath and nod, bouncing a few more times to try and calm myself.

“Is there anyone out there who can grab this guy we found and take him to the quinjet?” I ask over comms. “I mean, we’d do it, but we’re kind of in the killbox right now.”

“I can probably manage a flyby.” Sam’s voice crackles through my earpiece. “Where you guys at?”

“Main entrance.” Bucky answers.

“Meet me outside in, uh, now.”

Bucky and I rush out the doors to find Sam running towards us. As soon as he meets us, he take David from Bucky’s arms.

“D’you want your coat back?” David asks, moving to take the clothing off.

“No,” I answer, placing my hand over his. “You need it more than I do right now. Gotta give you all the protection you can get.” I look up at Sam and find a deadly serious look on his face, different from the light hearted expression he usually wears. “You sure you’ve got this?”

“Of course.” He says. “Do you doubt my skill?”

“No, I just want you to be safe.”

Sam nods once before breaking out into a run and taking off into the air. I watch as they disappear, zoning out for a moment before the sound of gunfire pulls me back. I hand Bucky his gun before punching him lightly in the arm and running out to join our teammates.

We throw ourselves into the fray, trying to incapacitate without killing our adversaries. We all do our jobs efficiently and quickly.

Work like this becomes monotonous and methodical, and sometimes things can get blocked out which isn’t good. It just makes our job that much more dangerous.

Bucky gets caught up in battle easily and I notice the danger headed for him before he does. There’s a soldier behind him, gun at the ready and I have to think fast.

“Bucky!” I cry, quickly jumping in between him and the shooter, shielding his body with my own.

“No!” He screams as the sound of gunfire pierces the air.

Most of the bullets only sink into the thick kevlar material of my reinforced pants and vest, but a few lucky shots manage to find weak points in my armor. One hits one of the first bullets that hit my vest and they both pierce my abdomen, finding a painful home there. Another takes up lodging in my right femur and the last nicks something that’s probably important on my neck.

My vision starts to go dark almost immediately and I feel myself teeter on my feet for a moment before I begin to fall to the ground. Someone catches me before my body can make contact with the packed gravel, and through my hazy vision I can see that it was Bucky. From what I can see, he looks distraught and all I want is to reach out to him, to tell him that everything is okay, that he’s gonna be okay and that he’s safe.

I can see his mouth open and close, but it takes a while for his voice to reach my ears.

“No,” He whispers. “No, no, no, no ,no. Please, no.” He pulls me in tight to his chest, rocking back and forth. “You shouldn’t’ve done that. Why did you do it?”

“I couldn’t… let you,,, die.” I manage to splutter. “You’re too… important.”

“No, I’m not. I’m not.” He insists, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to mine. “You’re more important than I am. I can’t lose you.”

“I’m clockin out here…” I say, my breathing labored. “Don’t worry… you’re okay.”

“No, (Y/N), no!” He cries watching my eyes flutter shut. “I just told you I loved you, you can’t leave me, (Y/N).”

“I love you too… Buck…” I say, my voice and consciousness fading.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N)?!” He presses his hands more firmly to my wounds. “Help!” He yells. “HELP!”

His voice is the last thing I hear before everything goes completely black.

There’s a beeping. It wakes me up for a moment, but it’s annoying, so I ignore it and go back to sleep.

The beeping comes back, this time with an antiseptic smell. My eyes flutter open, only to feel the burn of the fluorescent lights. I blink a few time to adjust to the brightness of the room and sit up only to have my muscles scream at me for doing so. The wince that leaves my mouth is loud enough to catch the attention of a nurse near by. He tries to push me back down onto the bed, but I wave him off and try to straighten my posture. Everything hurts and it feels like my entire body is screaming at me, pissed as hell that I felt like moving in the first place.

I slowly look around the room, only finding white tiles with weird minty green accent patterns and pieces here and there. Aside from the two nurses fussing with some machinery across the room, I’m alone. I sigh quietly and allow my head to fell back on my pillow.

I doze off again momentarily only to be woken again by a commotion outside the double doors. The two nurses scurry out into the hallway only to have half of the Avengers push past them and into the room. Clint, Steve, Natasha and Tony stride up and place themselves in a protective semicircle around my bed.

“Hey, guys.” I smile at them and close my eyes, trying to gather the energy and strength for this interaction before opening them again.

“It’s good to see you awake, kid.” Tony says, gently taking my hand in his.

“It’s good to see you guys too.” I squeeze his hand and look around at my friends. “How long was I out?” Suddenly everyone seems to be incapable of looking at me. “Come on, guys, I need an answer here.”

“A week.” Clint finally answers for the group. I stare at him, shocked. “And a half.”

“There were a lot of surgeries, (Y/N), you needed time to heal.” Steve says. “You still do.”

“Fine.” I shake my head in an attempt to clear it and try to reposition myself again. “How’s Bucky doing?”

“He’s, uh… Bucky’s not doin so hot right now.” Steve scratches the back of his neck. “He really blames himself for what happened to you.”

“But it was my choice.” I furrow my brow. “Where is he? Maybe I could talk to him. We could get everything straightened out and-”

“(Y/N), Bucky isn’t here.” Natasha says.

“Then I can talk to him when I get released. Everything will be fine”

“No, (Y/N),” Steve cuts in. “He’s not here. He’s not in the country.”

“What do you mean?” Steve doesn’t answer. “Steve. What. Do. You. Mean.”

“Well, I said he left because he blamed himself for what happened to you.” Steve says hesitantly. “He’s in Wakanda.”

-6 weeks-

“Steve, I have to go see him.”

“(Y/N), you still need to heal. You can’t walk without a cane yet. You need more time.”

“Says you.” I mumble. “I can’t just stay here and hope he’ll come back. No one in Wakanda knows him and no one is going to be able to help him. He’s just stewing in his emotions and self hatred… he’s going to implode.”

“He’s safe there.”

“He was safe here.” I slam the end of my cane into the concrete floor. The sound echoes through the empty room.

“You can’t decide what’s best for him.” Steve’s voice is almost a growl.

“And you think you can?” I hiss. “Do you know what he said to me after I got shot? While he held me in his arms, hands pressed over my bullet wounds while I bled out?” I watch as Steve’s eyes widen and his mouth opens and closes as he tries to find his words. I don’t give him the time to find them. I advance on him, getting close enough for him to see the rage in my eyes. “He told me that he wasn’t important. He insisted that he wasn’t. He told me that I was more important than him and that he couldn’t lose me. He told me he loved me and that I wasn’t allowed to leave him.”

“I-”

“No, Steve. Do you know what happened after I got injured last time and he was taking care of me?” Steve shakes his head. “When he had nightmares, he came to me. He told me what happened and I held him until he fell asleep again. When I couldn’t sleep I went to him and he would let me curl into his chest and he would tell me about his day. We were there for each other. We took care of each other, and you have the audacity to tell me that I can’t decide what’s best for him? I thought you were his best friend.”

“I am.” He whispers.

“Then act like it.” I jab him in the chest with my finger. “I’m going to Wakanda. I’m going to talk to him. I’m going to try to bring him back, and I swear I will beat you half to death with this fucking cane if you even try to stop me.”

“Fine,” He sighs in resignation. “But I’m going with you.”

“Fine.” I turn away from him and limp off to my room. “Meet me in the hangar in half an hour.”

“You only need half an hour?” I can tell he’s got his arms crossed and an eyebrow quirked up without even turning around.

“Forty five minutes.” I huff.

“King T’Challa.” I dip my head in respect to the man on the video feed.

“(Y/N),” He mimics my actions, much to my surprise. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I know I haven’t earned it, but I need to ask a favor of you.”

“Oh?” He raises his eyebrows at me. “And what sort of favor would it be?”

“I’m, well, Steve and I are on our way to your country right now. I need to speak with Bucky, and the Captain has insisted he join me. I hope we aren’t intruding. I guess I should have called ahead of time and asked for permission to visit…”

“There is no need to worry over such trivial things, (Y/N),” He chuckles lightly. “You are welcome in my country at any time. What is it that you need of me?”

“Bucky can’t know I’m coming. I know how much he blames himself for me getting myself shot and I’m afraid he’ll leave before I even get the chance to see him.”

“You can count on me.” He nods. “What is your ETA?”

“We’re about three hours out.” Steve calls across the quinjet.

“Alright.” T'Challa says. “Preparations will be made and I will be awaiting your arrival.”

“Thank you so much.” I sigh quietly in relief, sitting back in my chair. “Again, I’m sorry to just be dropping in like this.”

“Don’t worry, (Y/N). I was starting to worry that no one had come for him. I think it will be good for him to see you.”

“I hope so.”

“I look forward to seeing the two of you again. Be safe in your travels.”

“Thank you, your highness, we’ll do our best.”

He nods and ends the call, leaving a blank and fuzzy screen in front of me. I flick it away and haul myself to my feet, leaning heavily on my cane for support. I walk in slow, methodical lines, pacing in the open space in the jet, trying to exercise my leg to the best of my ability. After a while I have to stop, the pain in my leg getting to be too much. I shift my weight to my left leg, taking a short sharp breath as a pang of pain shoots through my thigh.

“You really should sit down. Your entire body needs rest.” Steve comments.

“If I don’t keep moving I’ll lose all of the progress I’ve made.” I step forward with my right foot, hissing when I put weight on it. “Use it or lose it, Rogers.”

“Fine,” He sighs. “But don’t come whining to me when you make it worse.”

“Oh shut up, Mr. “I’m a super soldier and I heal faster than a speeding bullet”. Let me mess up my leg in peace.” Steve laughs at me, keeping his eyes glued to the open sky in front of him. I slowly make my way over to the front of the quinjet and rest my arm on the back of the pilot’s chair, leaning heavily on my left side.

“Can I help you with something?”

“Why didn’t you go after him?” I ask, my voice hushed.

“It wasn’t my fight.” He answers simply.

“That’s very un-Steve of you.” I lean forward and rest my chin on his shoulder. “Usually you’re ready to jump in and save the day, regardless of what’s happening.”

“Maybe I’m mellowing with age.” He shrugs, making my head bob up and down once.

“Mmm,” I hum. “Maybe.”

“(Y/N), Steve.” T’Challa says, turning to each of us respectively and dipping his head to us. “It is good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, your highness.” I dip my head to him in respect. “I just wish it were under better circumstances.”

“As do I.” He nods. ”He’s down that corridor, take a left, go all the way down the hallway, take another left and then an immediate right. You should come to a room that is nearly all windows and you should find him in there.”

“Thank you.” I nod and walk past him, slowly making my way across the room and down the hallway.

“Do you think she’ll manage to bring him back?” Steve asks softly.

“He is here because he cares for her. She is here because she cares for him.” T’Challa answers. “She will find a way.”

With my hindered mobility it takes a while for me to get down the first hallway. I get tired easily and I have to pause every five or so minutes to rest before continuing on towards Bucky’s room. Unfortunately the pace at which I’m walking allows me time to overthink.

What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if he hates me for what I did. What if he’s angry with me for my actions? Maybe he’ll tell me he never wants to see me again. Maybe that’s why he left. Maybe that’s why he’s here. So he doesn’t have to look at me and feel guilty for what I did to myself.

No. I shake my head and shove those thoughts aside. I’m here right now and so is here. There’s no going back now, so I have to muster up whatever semblance of courage I can and push forward.

With my renewed determination I make it to the room where T’Challa said Bucky would be without having to stop. When I reach my destination I find that the door is open. I stand in the doorway, trying to find Bucky without actually entering the room. My eyes lock onto his form slumped on the white couch close to the wall of windows on the far side of the room. No part of him is moving and someone who didn’t know him would probably worry about him being dead. Instead I knock on the door with the handle of my cane. Bucky seems to almost jump off the couch, startled by the sharp noise. He slowly turns his head to investigate where the sound came from. I watch as his eyes widen when he catches sight of me.

“(Y/N),” He breathes. He stands abruptly, and a jacket that had been in his lap falls to the floor. He steps over it and crosses the room in long strides. He reaches out to me with shaking hands and gently cups my face. “(Y/N)…” He repeats.

“Hey there, sweetheart.” I smile at him, trying to blink away the tears that are forming in my eyes. “It’s been a while.”

“It has, I know.” His eyes flit over my features like he’s trying to memorize my face. “Why are you here?”

“Because you’re here.” I carefully take his right hand in my left, running my thumb over the knuckles.

“(Y/N)…” He trails off, looking at the floor. He notices something and his eyes go wide. “You… you’re using a cane?”

“Oh, yeah. The bone was in less than optimal condition, thanks to me, so they had to reinforce it with pins and things. I don’t know exactly what’s going on in there, I just know I’m in one piece.” I hear him inhale sharply and I look up at him, concerned. “What?”

“If I had been paying attention none of this would have happened…” He pulls away from me, slowly backing into the room and turning around. He runs his hands through his hair before bringing his hands together at the back of his neck and lacing his fingers together. “You wouldn’t have gotten shot and you wouldn’t have lost so much time, you wouldn’t be walking with a cane and-”

“And, and, and,” I cut him off, slowly managing to follow after him. “There are a lot of things that could have happened, but none of them did, okay? I got myself shot, I had to have multiple surgeries, I’ve had to go through physical therapy and I’m pushing myself to recover. You shouldn’t blame yourself for what happened. It’s a part of my job to make reckless and stupid decisions if it means keeping someone alive.”

“Keeping me alive isn’t your job.”

“Oh? When was that decided? Huh?”

“(Y/N)…” He groans, still walking away from me.

“Bucky, please,”  I realize that I can’t keep following after him, so I hook the handle of my cane around his elbow. “Please, stop.”

“Why are you here?” He asks again.

“Do you remember the last thing I said to you after I got shot?” I unhook my cane from his arm and he turns around to face me.

“You told me you loved me.” He looks at the floor, silent for a time as if he’s thinking through what I said. He finally looks up at me and he almost looks sad. “Did you mean that?”

“Did you mean it when you said you loved me the night before that?”

“I… You heard that?”

“Yes. I told you that I loved you then too.” I wobble on my feet a little bit, just barely able to get my cane on the floor before I fall over. “I meant it both times, and I still do.” I stare at the floor, certain that I don’t want to watch his reaction. “I just need to know if you did. Because if you didn’t, I’ll leave right now.”

“I did, (Y/N), I did mean it.” He says quietly. I slowly look up at him, waiting for the ‘but’ that I know is going to follow. “But I can’t… I don’t deserve you”

“Bucky…”

“You know what I’ve done. You know how unstable I am.” He looks at me sadly. “You deserve someone who can give you what you need, and I can’t do that.”

“Why do you always do this?”

“What?”

“Talk yourself out of being happy or having something good in your life.” He furrows his brow and frowns at me. “I’ve watched you do it ever since Steve brought you to the tower. You finally relax and start to have a good time and then a switch flips in your brain and I watch you talk yourself down like you don’t deserve friends or to have a decent time at a party. Why-” My voice cracks and I have to take a deep breath before I can continue. “Why do you do that to yourself?”

“I don’t deserve good things and I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your help, I’m not worth it.”

“Bucky, if you didn’t deserve my help, I never would have offered.” I take a step towards him, trying to keep myself steady on my feet. “You spend all of your time knocking yourself down that you don’t recognize that there are people who love you, despite how you feel about yourself. You’re worth every second that I spend with you and nothing will ever convince me otherwise.”

“(Y/N), how can you be so sure that you won’t ch-”

“Bucky, will you please just-shit” I feel my right knee buckle and I take a knee to avoid crumbling completely. I try to haul myself back to my feet, but to no avail. I sigh loudly, frustrated by my body’s betrayal, and opt for staying where I am, glaring at the floor. When I look up again, I find that Bucky has crouched down beside me, looking over me, an intense look of worry on his face.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, his tone worried.

“It’s my leg.” I shake my head. “I’ve been standing around and walking. It takes a lot out of me. I’m fine.”

“No, (Y/N), you’re not. Why do you have to push yourself like this?” He scowls at me.

“Because no one makes me stop.” I laugh. “You were my voice of reason last time I got seriously hurt. Steve only fueled it because he said I could travel to see you when I could walk again.”

“Dammit, Steve…”

“It was me being irresponsible, not him.” I wave my hand in dismissal. “Just gimme a sec, I’ll be back on my feet in a minute.”

“No,” He sighs. He gently slips an arm under my legs and wraps the other around my back and stands with me in his arms. “I’ll move you to the couch. You need to rest.”

“Okay.” I say quietly. I rest my head against his shoulder, silently wishing he could understand just how much I need him.

He slowly walks over to the pristine couch and pauses for a moment. I thought he would set me down on the couch and sit beside me, but instead he takes a seat and keeps me close to his chest. He doesn’t move or speak for a good five minutes and I finally begin to relax into his hold. My posture softens and my head lays more heavily on his shoulder. I almost didn’t realize how much I’ve missed being this close to him.

Bucky sighs quietly and shifts slightly so that he can rest his cheek on top of my head. I place a hand on his chest and angle my head so that I can look up at him. His eyes are trained on the window but his gaze is far away like it is when he’s talking himself down, but it’s different this time. He moves his arm from under my legs and brings it to rest around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers.

“Why?”

“I shouldn’t have fought with you about any of this.” He shakes his head and pulls away to look at me. “I just need you more than you need me and I don’t want to be a burden for you.”

“Bucky, I need you just as much as you need me, if not more so.” I tuck a few strands of hair behind his ear before brushing my thumb over his cheekbone and trailing my fingers across his jaw. “You keep me from rushing through things and neglecting myself. It sucks not being with you. I’ve had one hell of a time trying to sleep without you.” I curl my hand into a fist and hold it to my chest. “That sounded way more selfish than I wanted it to.”

“Don’t worry.” The corner of his mouth quirks up in a half smile. “It’s been the same for me. I freak out and then you’re not there. ”

“I’m here now.”

“I know.”

“Just come back with me.” I plead. “That would be enough.”

“What if I’m not enough, (Y/N)?”

“We could be enough, Buck. You don’t have to do this on your own.”

He looks at me tearfully, a smile fully forming on his lips. He cups my cheek with his metal hand, brushing his cold thumb over my cheekbone. He leans forward, pulling me to his chest to meet him and ghosts his lips over mine. When he receives no protest from me he presses his lips to mine more firmly. I kiss him back, gently covering his hand with my own. Bucky breaks away and presses his forehead against mine. He sighs quietly before moving me from his lap to the couch and walking away. I watch him, curious as to what he’s doing.

He leaves the room for a moment before poking his head back in.

“I’ll be right back.” He says before disappearing again.

I sit with my hands in my lap, staring at my cane where it lays on the floor. The only thing I feel when I look at it is frustration. The only thing it represents in the fact that I’m not well yet, despite how hard I’ve been pushing myself. Bucky worries about being enough for me, but what if I’m not enough for him?

The loud sound of a heavy duffel bag landing on the concrete floor pulls me from my thoughts. I look around, trying to find the source of the sound and finding Bucky holding his hand out to me. I place my hand in his and he helps me to my feet, stooping down to pick up my cane and handing it to me. Once I’m steadily standing on my own he grabs his duffel from the floor and joins me where I’m standing. I stare at him, not quite sure what to make of this.

“Does this mean you’re coming back?” I ask hopefully. He nods and I can’t hold myself back from surging forward and wrapping my arms around him in a massive hug.

“I figure you can’t kill yourself if I’m there to stop you.” He hugs me back and I can feel him smiling into my hair.

“What if I’m not enough for you?”

“You’re more than enough, (Y/N).” He whispers.

Bucky leads me back down the hallway to the entryway where Steve and I met T’Challa when we first arrived. Steve and T’Challa stand at the mouth of the corridor, seemingly waiting for Bucky and I to emerge.

“She did it.” Steve breathes, a gentle smile shaping his mouth when he sees Bucky and I walking down the hallway. “She actually did it.”

“I told you that she would find a way.” T’Challa says simply. “They love each other. They will always find a way.”

“You think so?” Steve asks.

“Yeah.” I whisper, looking up at Bucky. “Always.”


Thank you so much for reading! Roo, I hope you have an amazing day! Feedback would be greatly appreciated!

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zendaya is a queen and never in her life has she done something wrong and she probably will never do anything wrong but sometimes u gotta do it for the fic

Originally posted by alyciadebnamcarey

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