what we embrace

I still can't believe...

that Sasha won. I’ve watched RuPaul’s Drag Race since the first season and no one has made more of an impact in my life than Sasha Velour. She was different. She was different because she didn’t make me want to be like her. She made me feel like being myself was good enough. I think that is the best part of her being crowned. It justifies that being different from everyone else is not a thing to be made fun of or gawked at. These differences is what makes each of us unique and special. We should embrace ourselves for these ‘flaws’ and turn them into what makes us beautiful because we are. We are beautiful for being so unique. So I am very proud that Sasha Velour finally got the win she deserves.

Hallucination!Oswald: “That was another one of your weird hallucinations, Ed.”

Ed: “In what way?”

Hallucination!Oswald: “It was definitely a bit gay. Me singing a musical number? And the lyrics; he’s fierce in my dreams, he swims in my eyes by the bed…”

Ed: “I don’t recall that… I think sometimes you hear what you want to hear.”

Hallucination!Oswald: “No, you do, that’s my whole point here, Ed. I mean, come on, pour myself over him…?”

Ed: “Pour myself over him? No… didn’t say anything like that…”

Hallucination!Oswald: “And the looks you had me giving you, and that top hat…“

Ed: “It wouldn’t be gay to hallucinate putting a top hat on a man and having him seductively sing Amy Winehouse to you. How could that be gay?”

Hallucination!Oswald: “…”

Ed: “…”

“Not that I did it….”

I figured I’d write a little thing about my stance regard “cishet” aces and aros.

First things first, I call them ‘cis hetaros’ or ‘cis hetaces’ as they aren’t fully cishet.

Secondly, I believe that their ace or aro part makes them LGBTQ+, but not their cis or het parts.

I believe that including them is oddly complicated even though it shouldn’t be.

While I can understand why exclusionsts are wary of them, I think we should be seeing it like this;

We aren’t inviting them in for being cis and het; we’re inviting them in so they have a community of people to talk to about being ace or aro. We’re not speaking of their heterosexual or heteromantic side, we’re talking about their aromantic or asexual side.

That’s the entire point. That is what we’re embracing.

Being cis doesn’t make you LGBTQ+ and neither does being heterosexual heteromantic, but asexuality and aromanticism are LGBTQ+; just because they’re cis or might be partly het doesn’t erase their ace or aro part.

Exclusionists keep telling them to make their own community but then get angry when they do, sabotaging it. Where are they supposed to talk about their experiences?

That is why I’m an inclusionist; they need somewhere where they can talk to others who understand or can somewhat relate to them.

“For all of you who were ever told you weren’t good enough, didn’t look the part because you dressed a certain way or didn’t fit in because it wasn’t what they agreed with or your choice of life wasn’t approved, I got you. This is for the kids that stand their ground and wish to remain individuals, the outcasts and the rebels. This is who we are and we’ll forever walk in the dark because that’s where our integrity lies and we embrace what we are” - Aleister Black

Concept: we do not need to genderswap the senshi, but if we do Mako should be smol

Radical Acceptance

‘Radical Acceptance is a different way of framing the Buddhist teachings of mindfulness and compassion. It is the capacity to clearly recognize our inner experience and embrace what we see with a kind heart. Radical Acceptance emphasizes a flavor of the dharma that’s especially needed at this time in our culture. We habitually reject parts of ourselves, and we judge others and make them the enemy. Befriending whatever we experience is what begins to free us.

Our basic suffering is that we have a sense of being a separate self, and the primal mood of the separate self is fear. Whenever there’s fear, we feel something’s wrong. Sometimes we aim at ourselves: Something’s wrong with me, I’m bad. That’s the trance of unworthiness, and it burdens us with shame and anxiety, depression and anger. We also project fear outward and mistrust others: You’re a threat to my existence, I need to defend myself, I need to attack you. Basically the trance of separation keeps us at war with the life inside us and with the world around us…

Radical Acceptance doesn’t mean being passive about situations that cause us stress. When we accept exactly what we’re experiencing in the present moment - if we really open up to whatever is going on in our body and heart - then we are naturally going to act now to relieve suffering, whether it’s in our personal life or in the world. And if, instead of reacting and adding more violence to the situation, we can pause and deepen our attention, we can respond from a place that cherishes life.’

- Tara Brach, From an Interview with Tricycle Magazine, Summer 2003.

Don’t You Want Me? (Jooheon x Reader)

Rating: M

(A/N) YA’LL. WHAT IS GOOD???? It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything and what a great way to return then with some Monsta X? I’ve recently fallen extremely hard for this group of boys and I’m already in way too deep. Help, I’m drowning in Wonho and Shownu’s back sweat. Ew, okay that was gross. Anyway, without further ado, here’s some yummy first-time smutty smut with my dimple-faced angel Jooheon (◕‿◕✿)

Originally posted by destinybbb

You couldn’t ever say no to Jooheon, no matter what the request, big or small. You were already a huge pushover, but when it came to that dimple-faced angel, you were completely powerless to him. So when he begged and pleaded to go camping down by a popular creek to celebrate your six month anniversary, he didn’t have to try too hard to break your will.

You liked camping, but you didn’t love it like all the crazy outdoors nuts. You liked laying out in the sun to tan, eating the delicious camping food, and just lazing around without a care for what time it was or what you had to get done. You didn’t love, however, the bugs, the unpacking, the packing, the greasy hair, and the stink that just clung to you no matter what you tried.

But you would put up with it, for Jooheon, because you loved him more than anything…and you also had a surprise in store for him.

Keep reading

The midheaven, sitting in the 10th house cusp, can display what someone most wants in their lifetime, in the vaguest sense. It is what said person believes they lack and ought to require/become in order to be happy. That isn’t to say this is false. Disregarding the midheaven is disregarding personal drive and, likely, perceived life purpose and goals for satisfaction of self.

The north node is what we innately lack and therefor reject, although it is what we need the most. Embracing the north node is dramatic and tends to turn the holder on their head; everything changes. But the north node holds our greatest key to peace and self-growth.

Effective Animal Behavior Research

“Educate yourself!” A phrase we eagerly throw around when someone we deem ignorant is saying something we disagree with. And it’s true, some people really need to educate themselves, in particular people who have taken it upon themselves to educate others. 

But how do you educate yourself? I’ve seen the self-education a lot of people come up with… and it’s not pretty. I don’t think anything infuriates an educator more than writing something informative based on science and facts, only to have someone contradict them with isolated-incident anecdotal “evidence”, as if that means all their research and science is wrong on that basis. It’s a bit like saying, “well I’m still alive, so clearly death is a myth.” 

That is not someone who has educated themselves, but rather someone who has never evaluated anything critically, from all possible angles, before coming to an informed conclusion. 

So, again… how do you educate yourself? 

Read. But don’t read indiscriminately. Use discernment. Be critical. Don’t just look at the best seller list, or Oprah’s Book of the Month. Take a look at 1) what topic the book is discussing and 2) who is writing about it. 

Before you even start reading the book, ask yourself: 

  1. Who is the author? 
  2. What are their qualifications to write on this subject? 
  3. Is this an anecdotal book or a scientific book? 
  4. How old is this book? 
  5. What do the author’s peers have to say about this book? 


For example, I picked up the book “Animal Cognition: The Mental Lives of Animals” by Clive D.L. Wynne. I then turned to the back to read the summary. 

“Can ravens count? How do pigeons find their way home? Can chimpanzees use language in a human-like fashion? These are the kinds of questions that occupy scientists interested in understanding animal minds. […] presents a fascinating account of animal intelligence and abilities, covering a wide range of key topics from language and communication to sensation and problem-solving. […] Clive Wynne reviews research on species ranging from fire ants to dolphins […] complex reasoning (do cats understand that objects hidden from view still continue to exist?), balanced by a critical stance towards some of the wilder claims found in the popular media.” 

Now, what does it say about the author? 

“Clive D.L. Wynne is an Associate Professor in Psychology, University of Florida, and studies cognition in species from pigeons to marsupials. He worked previously at universities in Australia, the USA and in Germany, and was educated at University College London and the University of Edinburgh. He is the author of numerous scholarly papers on animal learning and cognition, and is the editor of a book on models of animal behavior, Models of Action: Mechanisms for Adaptive Behavior.” 

So, the author is a professor of psychology who has made numerous contributions to the scholarly world, and the book is handling a topic he is familiar with and has professional experience with. That’s already a good start. The publishing date is 2001, which is somewhat older, so the reader should be critical of the studies being referred to and make sure they are still considered valid. 

The book contains several reviews from his peers—other professors and researchers from various universities—who agree that this book is an excellent source of information, which further indicates the author has a lot to offer on this subject. 

With this information in mind, you can start reading, and as you read, continue to ask yourself the following questions: 

  1. How old is the study they are referring to? Is it still considered a valid source? 
  2. Are they even referring to any valid studies?  
  3. Are they using science and logic to make their argument, or relying on emotional manipulation? 


Use critical thinking while reading. Don’t look for reasons to disagree or agree with the author, but simply pause and ask yourself, “is this a logical conclusion? Does this make sense?” To the best of your ability, try to put aside personal feelings on the subject, whether it’s about the author or about the subject matter. 

When reading a book like this, I take notes. I make note of undeniable truths as they come, and I make note of the author’s personal musings and hypotheses. I also make note of my own personal musings based solely on the information provided. 

Toward the end of the book, I look to see if I reached the same conclusion the author did, and if not, I ask myself why that is the case, and, if necessary, go back and re-read certain aspects that may have confused me, or that I simply may have misunderstood within the context of the book. 

So, now I’ve read an educational book on a subject. I’ve worked through it, and fully understand the logic and science behind it. Am I done now? No. Now it’s time to move on to the next book, the next study, the next journal, and then another, and then another. 

Also, I can’t just read books on animal cognition and call it a day. There are other book focuses that are closely affiliated that have to be studied as well: physiological behavior, ethics, animal science, and animal communication. 

A book on “The Biology of Animal Stress” may have a stronger focus on overall animal welfare, and a book on “Animal Play” or “Principles of Animal Communication” may focus on overall body language and inter-species norms, but they all come together to create one big picture.

Educating yourself is a never-ending process. There will always be a new study to read, and a new theory to work through, and they may end up disproving something we previously regarded as fact. 

Anatomy and physiology changes as animals evolve, and animal behavioral norms change as they adapt to an ever-changing domesticated life. We must always be willing to put aside what we once embraced, and acknowledge the truth. 

 That, is how you educate yourself, and it’s how you educate others.

You know you're obsessed with SU when...

I’m seriously considering getting ear plugs because of Lars, and I think I actually will. I’ve always somewhat identified with Lars, but these last two seasons I’ve really fallen in love with his character. We both put up defenses with snarky/sarcastic/humor-based comments and placing blame on others, I feel like we’re both kind of cowardly, and we both have had issues with being emotionally vulnerable or real with people. Not to mention embracing what we love. The way he treated baking reminded me so much of how I feel about cosmetology. I feel like it’s perceived as such an over-saturated, talentless, traditionally feminine, shallow career. But it does take skill, everyone brings something different to the table, anyone can do it regardless of gender identity, and fellow makeup nerds are some of the most down to earth people I’ve met. Same goes for the baking community, which I engage in with my sister often. Lars went from an unempathetic, cowardly jerk, to a brave, caring, slightly more confident pink zombie badass! It gives me guts that someday I could be like that; that I could evolve as a human being. I feel like I’m such a jerk, but I try not to be. Idk. Maybe someday I can measure up to something of importance, maybe I can be adventurous, maybe I can do good.

This is how I would have loved Naruto to have ended. None of this family/romantic drama and shoujo romance and just pure platonic bonds of friendship and family. No pairings, no new generation (at least coming from Team 7) just three friends and siblings running Konoha together and taking it into a new era.

However, even if the manga didn’t end that way and we disagree with how it ended, we can still enjoy our own fantasies through our own imaginations and art and fanfiction produced by ourselves and the fandom.

So please stop all of this fighting. The message of Naruto is one of friendship and love and fostering those bonds no matter what. So why don’t we embrace that message and stop tearing out each others’ throats over things that are, in the grand scheme of life, quite trivial. Let’s just enjoy the parts we have that we enjoy and rely on ourselves to finish the story in our own way if the ending is not what we have hoped for or believed would occur.

And for those of you who did see the ending they wanted, there is no need to bash, tear down, ridicule, or shame those who do not agree with the ending. Each person is entitled to his own opinion and preferences and just because things ended the way you wanted does not give you the right to lord it over those who did not see the ending they wished for.

So all of you, just please stop with the fighting and the hate. That is not what Naruto itself was ever about. Feel free to complain or be happy if you wish, however stop tearing at each other like a pack of starving wolves resorting to cannibalism as their only means of survival. I am ashamed of what this fandom has become and you should all be ashamed as well. So if you cannot agree at least agree to disagree and leave it at that. If acceptance is not within your abilities then at least foster civility over hostility. This fandom would be a much better place if we all did so.

Thank you.


Note: I really love this gif. Seen it around a bunch but I still don’t know where it originated from. If someone knows the source, please tell me so I can post. Thanks.

Distractions

Some people feel uncomfortable with the very thought of kpop male artists referring to black women as their ideal. Some people hate the idea of black women preferring asian men. We get insulted and bashed for openly embracing what we are attracted to. We’re called traitors, fetishists or desperate. We’re told we have issues and can do better, or worse, that nobody will ever want us. These are DISTRACTIONS. Sure, we are human, these words can sometimes annoy, enrage or hurt us. I’m no different. But we need to keep one thing in mind constantly: NOBODY can stop AM and BW from connecting. NOBODY can stop YOU from being with the person you choose to be with. Intimidate you? Yes. Threaten you? Yes. Distract you? Yes. But stop you? Impossible. NOBODY can stop the interracial and/or cultural exchanges that’s happening right now. Black women will be more and more visible in the kpop world whether folks like it or not (I give it less than two years before an official blasian couple with a black woman, blasian Yoon Mi Rae & Tiger JK were just an intro), asian men will keep marrying black women. Blasian babies will keep being made. And on an international scale, Chinese men who move to Africa for business will keep marrying local women, black women who move to Asia for work or education will keep marrying local men and settle there. The naysayers have NO CHOICE but to get over it no matter how loud they bark. So let’s not get distracted by the hostility and foolishness, most of these folks are jealous and insecure. This is all distraction from this ultimate truth: NAYSAYERS WILL NEVER HAVE THE POWER TO STOP YOU.

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Misfits

What a shame if you are ordinary
You can never see this world like I do
And you have not done enough to entertain it

I do not want to judge you for who you are
I will let you be
Forgive me for observing you
I read people for amusement
But after a while I have to admit

I love the misfits
And the weirdos
All the social outcasts
As they are fragile and sensitive
Happy to be alone as it is

I have a gentle love for them because
I am one of them
And I know how long we’ve spent, trying to figure out someone like you
So that we could sit with you
And have someone to party with on the dance floor

But the truth is, we are not social beings
For what you call loneliness we embrace the solitude
And we do not belong anywhere, not even with each other

But unlike most people
We love all those who do not belong
For they are emotional beings, with unpredictable ways of thinking

I know for some, the emancipation is yet to come
It will happen when they realise they are perfectly fine
And their lives do not depend on you
Just as we know we are not superior to you
Two entirely different species

And you might not be ok with that
But we are
We might not always be appreciated
We even self hate sometimes, though we try hard not to
We will always have a gentle love for the square patch in a round hole