what was that justic league

Diana Prince, Lois Lane, Iris West and Queen Mera. 

Blessed heroes. 

10

Bruce Wayne/Batman successfully recruiting Barry Allen/The Flash into the Justice League

blackcur-rants  asked:

So in honour of the new Justice League trailer, can I ask you what you feel are the top ten worst things about the DCEU movies so far?

*grins evilly, cracks knuckles*

Let’s get this one out of the way:

10. This fucking shot right here

“Pretentious” does not even begin to cover it. And that expression! I don’t have much nice to say about Henry Cavill in these movies, but I do enjoy his utter inability to hide his embarrassment at what he’s participating in at this moment. 

9. The Why Did You Even Bother Club: Lois Lane, the Daily Planet, Rick Flag & June Moon, the media, the military, Congress…

Remember how The Avengers had this idea of Agent Coulson as the in-universe fanboy who understood the team better than anybody, and how the best part of Age of Ultron was the trip to Hawkeye’s farm? So why do the “human” elements of the DCEU feel so forced and stale?

8. Someone needs to go to jail for these action scenes

I thank the gods that I (unlike many of my friends) walked into Man of Steel sober, because Snyder’s destruction porn in that movie is a truly bad trip. Everything you need to know about the dude is in this juxtaposition: when he’s showing a building breaking apart, he wants you to see details, dammit, this is his canvas. When he has to cut to, y’know, humans, they’re dully shot and horribly lit, and his impatient desire to get to the next orgasmic splash-panel-shot is palpable. Elsewhere, the Doomsday sequence in BvS not only extends the plot far beyond its logical climax (the dictionary definition of overkill), it’s an unbelievably dull and drab nesting doll of mushroom clouds, pure headache-inducing sound and fury signifying nothing, my least favorite superhero throwdown on screen…until the Enchantress fight in Suicide Squad, which had me in tears in the theater, I was laughing so hard.

7. Pa Kent wants you and your children dead, you hear me? DEAD!

This may be the single worst aspect of Man of Steel specifically. I hate it on every level. I hate that Pa Kent spouts this BS, I hate that we’re supposed to take it seriously, I hate how it bogs down the post-Krypton story with no real weight or payoff (since we already know that Adult Clark is saving people by the time we get his Dad’s speech about not doing so), I hate that entire unbelievably dumb tornado scene, and I hate how freakin’ casual Snyder and Goyer are about death throughout this SUPERMAN STORY. Supes kills Zod, screams that scream…and then he’s downing satellites with a smirk, and biking through an apparently just-fine Metropolis, and hahaha look, glasses! Tone? Stakes? What are those? What was the point to him killing Zod other than Snyder getting that fetishistic close-up of the scream? Man of Steel was always going to be a bad movie, but this is where it became a Bad movie.

6. THIS IS KATANA

SHE’S GOT MY BACK

5. Batman v Superman is I Took Half a Philosophy Course, The Movie

Every single second of this insufferable thing is screaming at you to take it seriously. Every. Single. One. And it’s earned maybe 2% of the time, usually when it directly swipes a line from a comic. There’s nothing else to most of these scenes—just This Is Dramatic, with no attention put into the “this” from the basic “we need to care about these people” angle that Marvel generally has a lock on. The ambition falls flat. In particular, the worldbuilding sequences in BvS (the Injustice future, the Flash visitation, the videos of future JL members) constitute some of the clumsiest and most misguided scenes ever in a comic book movie, because they thoroughly ratfuck the tone, pacing, and focus in the most masturbatory manner imaginable outside of literal porn. (Has there ever been a less appropriate use of Exciting Pump-You-Up music than when Wonder Woman is…sitting at her laptop…watching QuickTime videos?) 

4. Scene to scene, line to line, end to end, every storytelling decision in Suicide Squad is wrong

I don’t demand a movie make perfect logical sense for me to like it, and nitpicking about plot holes often aggravates me, because there are many more important things to making and watching movies. What I demand is that you not assemble your movie like a dozen different food-poisoning-induced fever dreams all happening simultaneously. When you have to literally actually reshow parts of your “villain launches their evil plan” sequence (kind of an important part of a comic book movie!) because it was so confusing and poorly communicated the first time through, you’ve lost any semblance of structural coherence. This isn’t clever nonlinear storytelling. This is an abysmal, abyssal editing fail. Honestly, given the garbage fire behind the scenes, Suicide Squad barely counts as a finished movie.

Final three slots reserved for the fatal performances. You know the ones.

3. How did you let Jared Leto keep doing this after day one

How did you not brain him with a shovel or something

2. Why, though

Why would you do this to us

And of course, at #1…

1. This ostensibly sentient block of granite you insist on calling Clark Kent

Ok, that’s not entirely fair. He’s poorly cast, written, and directed. The DCEU is fundamentally broken because its central character does not work. He’s got two modes–deadly boring and straight-up deadly–and neither is compelling. I’m far from the first to say it: this is a Superman for people who never liked Superman.

anonymous asked:

Idk why but recently I've been thinking what it would be like for Clark to come back from the grave to find the fully formed justice league. Like what the fuck. Why do we have a club now. How did you guys even find each other we all have secret identities? Was this all Batman or was there like a nominating committee or something? what the hell I wasn't dead that long who are these people.

clark’s so new to the game, i doubt he’s actually looked into other heroes outside of batman - i get the feeling that was his first real broadening of the horizons, so to speak. he knows they exist, but he doesn’t know much about them, aside from basic powers and a nebulous MO - actually, depending on how present aquaman is, which i feel is not at all, i’m thinking the only heroes superman may really know about are batman, wonder woman, and the flash. and he doesn’t actually know wonder woman, she’s just this armored lady who showed up and kicked ass that’s with neither him or batman. i don’t…. think he actually knows her hero title is wonder woman, actually. 

um. wow. clark’s going to look at batman and be like “are they with you?” and batman’s going to be like “no, they’re with you” and barry’s going to be like “but you’re the one who broke into my house in the middle of the night” and then superman’s gonna be -.- and that’s it that’s the movie

Things I love from the new Justice League trailer

•Aquaman dropping what looks like an unconscious Bruce on a table and proceeding to grab a bottle of liquor, “its on him”
•Barry Allen “you’re the Batman?”
•Diana’s hair flip though
•(while getting into batmobile) Barry “what are you’re superpowers again?” Bruce “im rich”
•(Bruce getting into the batwing like a bad ass) “my turn” oh damn
•Queen fucking Mera and the Atlantians(silently praying Kaldur makes an appearance)
•that small scene of Barry talking to his dad in jail
•Diana landing in front of Aquaman and Cyborg
•that small step back Aquaman does when she lands
•"shall we?“ (Chills and squealing)
•Gordon to Batman "it’s good to see you playing well with others again” AGAIN!! Do you know what that could mean!!!!!
•Aquaman “dressed like a bat I dig it.” Bruce turns to Gordon “may be temporary”
•Aquaman riding on the batmobile “yeah!!”, Bruce smirking like damn right

*Justice League Conference Room*

Clark: Alright, now that we have finished up those few items, I have one last thing on the agenda. We received a video resume from a young man with an interest in joining the league.

Ollie: We accept video resumes?

Clark: Not generally, but because he has trained with and worked alongside Batman, I figured we could make an exception.

Bruce: *Stoic silence*

*Video begins to play*

Jason: *In Bruce’s hot tub with his helmet on and a large Margarita in hand* Hi there, my name is Jason Todd. And I’m here to tell you why I would make an amazing addition to the Justice League…

*Five minutes later*

Diana: What does he mean by his fighting style is… “Arya Stark with guns”?

Bruce: *Groans*

I know is a batblog but…
Clark knows all the country songs and sings them all the time. No one likes them.

J'onn and Clark:
“Jolene”
“???”
“Jolene”
“???”
“Jolene”
“Clar-”
“JOLEEEEEEENE IM BEGGIN OF YOU PLEASE DON-”

Clark and Bruce:
“I wanna sweep you off your feet tonight…”
“Clark, put me down.”
“I wanna love you as I hold you tight…”
“Clark, you’re breaking my ribs.”
“Spin you around on some old dance floor.”
“Clark, I’m getting dizzy.”
“Act like we’ve never met befor-”
“That sounds fun, let’s do that.”

Lois and Clark:
“If you’ll be my Louisiana”
“Clark no”
“I’ll be your Mississippi”
“Clar-”
“You’ll be my Little Loretta
I’ll be your Conway Twitty”
“I have no idea who those are”
“You’ll be my sugar, baby”
“I’m not sweet enough to be sugar.”
“I’ll be your sweet iced tea”
“Clark S T O P!”
“You’ll be my honeysuckle…”
“…*sigh* I’ll be your honey bee.”

(Blake Shelton’s ‘Honey Bee’ is Tim and Kon’s ‘song’ because Clark was screaming it in the other room to Lois when Tim came over for the first time. Timmy hates it, but Kon will literally stand on a chair at random times and just BELT IT O U T)

Bonus: Clark really gets into the groove with it and will swing his hips to the beat. Will literally put his foot on the table out of nowhere, start singing and twitch his hips. Damian saw, he was embarrassed and terrified.

what i’m getting from the justice league movie is that everyone is trying their best to be a terrible, rowdy child. victor is trying to snapchat pictures of the batcave and is offering a witty running commentary on bruce’s color choices, which are black, black, and silver. he inches closer to the batmobile every time bruce looks away. barry is poking bruce in the arm, asking several hundred questions a minute, and about half of them are, “can i try on the cape? can i put on the bat armor and arm wrestle with victor?” arthur is outside, having torn through his shirt, and is wandering in the lake, yelling with the fish, because everyone else here is an asshole, in his opinion. diana is supposed to be the second responsible adult, but she bought a razor scooter yesterday and is gleefully riding it down the stairs

alfred buys one of those ‘it’s been __ days since our last nonsense’ and the number never gets into the double digits 

Heartlines Part II: Sticks and Stones

Summary: Y/N was kidnapped and had no hope of being saved. Her captor, after torturing her, makes a bet with her. 
Word count: 2057
Pairings: Clark Kent x Reader, Bruce Wayne x Reader, Barry Allen x Reader
WARNINGS: Swearing, abuse, death. (Still not getting how this works at all). Oh! Also! I’m not a native english speaker, so sorry for any typos or anything! Please, contact me if you spot one, I will gladly change it.
Thank you!

Part I  Part III Part IV


-It’s finally time boys!-Edward said excited as a four-year-old in Christmas Eve- Let’s get her up, up, up to the roof!
The goons, who have been torturing me along Edward for what seemed like ages, unbounded the ropes that held me and put me on my feet. I wasn’t able to stand upright and they knew it.
-You a-are gonna make me walk, are you?-I asked shivering to Edward, who was holding the camera that recorded all my torture. He laughed.
-Of course! Unless you want one of my guys to drag you?-he asked with a smile and I just sighed and braced myself for the pain that still awaited me.
Obviously, we didn’t take the elevator; instead we took the stairs of this lonely building. My legs gave up plenty of times and not once one of them helped me, so it took a while to get to the roof. However, Edward didn’t seem very bothered by that, in fact he seemed to enjoy every time I fell.

Once we were in the roof, my shivering increased since it was raining in Gotham City now and my clothes were mostly ripped from all the torture, but none of the people present cared so I just hugged myself and tried to calm myself. I kept repeating in my mind “This is going to end soon, it’s almost over” because, at this point, I just wished everything to end, to just die and end with all this suffering. In this moment, I wished to die like never before in my life; all of Edward’s emotional and physical torture had really made a number on me and I was just exhausted.

-Now dear, have a seat-Edward said offering me a very comfortable looking chair, with red plush and all, while he adjusted the camera for it to keep recording. I stumbled until I got there and plopped down on it since there was no case on refusing anything to him right now-Good girl-he praised mockingly, imitating what Bruce used to call me on the rare occasions I obeyed him. I grimaced at the memory.

“Y/N, please, sit down” he sighed tiredly. “I’m not a dog, Bruce Wayne!” however, I did sit, earning a smile from him. “Good girl” “I hate you” “I love you too, my dearest Y/N” “You better not tell Barry or Clark about me obeying you…” “Wouldn’t dream of it! After all, you are my good girl” he smiled warmly and I corresponded.


-Not going to tie me up?-I asked somewhat surprised.
-Not necessary. If you try anything, I could easily stop you since by now, moving a single finger should take a lot of effort, am I wrong?-he smiled crazily and I just sighed
-No, you’re not.
-Good! Now we can start!-he said excitedly while pulling out his phone. However, he stopped when he noticed my confused look- Oh! Let me explain you, sweetheart. What kind of host would I be if I didn’t? You see, you’re obviously in danger and because of your fantastic belief of no one coming; I had the incredible idea of making a bet against you. My bet is that at least one of the superheroes will come to save you and then have our fun. But to make it fair to you, they will have to choose.
-To choose? What are their options?-I asked curiously, maybe I still had a chance of surviving this.
-For Superman, he will have to choose between saving the courageous Miss Lane and saving you, his “precious” soulmate.
-No chance there-I murmured, shaking my head. Clark would choose Lois and you don’t need to be a genius to know that Barry would choose Iris above me, because obviously, Iris was his other option. Bruce was my only hope- And Batman? What would be his choices?-I asked, hoping it was between the Joker and me; at least I had a chance there.
-Oh! For Batman it will be save you or… save the lives of five innocent people we picked up randomly!-his laugh increased whilst my blood turned cold. That was it. I’m dead. –Don’t be so pessimistic, honey!- he said after I apparently said my thoughts out loud- There’s still The Flash, don’t you wanna know what his options are?
-Let me guess-I grunted- Iris and me? Really, if you wanted to make him come, you should’ve picked anyone but Iris.
-Oh, but where is the fun on that? I bet that at least one of them will come; maybe Superman or Flash-he snickered.
-Ha!-I snorted- My best chance was Batman! Nonetheless, he is selfless so he won’t come and risk five innocent lives. I’ve always respected and appreciated that about him. So, all of my chances are gone, you can end this now and get me off the building.
-Not so fast, missy. What about the other two? You don’t believe in-he giggled uncontrollably for a few seconds, and when he was able to control it he continued- “their eternal love”? Not even a little to make a bet?
-No, I don’t and neither do you. I mean, you do remember all the psychological torture, don’t you?-I sassed. Because seeing as this were my last moments, at least I wanted to have a bit of self-respect left, and that includes keep being my sassy self-  Anyway, we’ll do this you way. We’ll make a bet.
-Fantastic! You already know what I bet on
-And you know what I’m betting on, so what’s the prize?-I asked crossing my arms, trying to ignore my continuous shivering.
-Prize? Well… if you win, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you were right-he laughed- and let’s not forget! You also die. If I win, then the same is for me… without me dying, but you’ll die one way or another, so…-he shrugged- what could you possibly want?
-Mercy for my brother-I answered- If… if I win, then you will cut the video for my brother and only send him my goodbye.
-You want me to edit the video for your brother? Not for the Justice League?-he smiled
-The Justice League can deal with torturing, my brother can’t. So, do whatever you want to the video for the Justice League, I don’t really care
-And if I win?
-Then you’ll do as you planned on the beginning, you’ll send the complete video to both of them-I said while praying he accepted the deal. I didn’t wanted to make my brother suffer more… while for the Justice League, I was sorry for Diana, Oliver and Arthur, they would probably be sorry or even guilty for what happened to me… however, I can’t do anything about it.
-Hmmm… it’s a deal sweetheart-he said as he stretched his hand to me and I took it.
-Well then… what are we waiting for, now?-I asked while peeking at how high this building was. I’ve already guessed from the stairs that this was, at least, a five story building. However, looking down, it seemed that these were eight stories, minimum.
-Now that everything is settled, nothing. I just have to make the calls for your boyfriends to tell them their options and how much time they have to decide. Oh! And also, to tell them that your other partners have the same though decision to make-he cracked while he typed something on his phone.

I heard him make the calls. First, it was Bruce: he was calm and collected, probably trying to trace where the call was coming from, but Edward was smarter than that. He explained himself clearly without stopping for Bruce to answer and made perfectly clear that, if there was any sign of him trying to save me or get near the address he would later send, then the hostages would be killed.
After that, was Clark’s turn: he seemed angry with the news and started pressuring Edward to tell him where I was, but then he mentioned Lois was in danger and he just lost it. “You’ll have to choose, Supes. Lois or Y/N, you only have time to reach one of them… oh! And just to be fair, let me tell you that Bats and speedy are in a similar situation to yours, so consider that if you don’t save her, maybe nobody will”.
At last, it was Barry: he asked where I was, but as soon as he heard “Iris” he forgot about me and was desperate hearing the instructions, I could hear something similar to “I’ll save them both” but I knew he couldn’t, wouldn’t be able to do so. Edward knew that too and so just laughed.

Less than a minute passed since he hanged up on Barry and an alarm sounded.
-Time’s up!-Edward cheered while getting closer to me; I just stared at him until he was centimeters away from me- Seems that you will win this bet, honey. But before we see that, let me tell you something funny, yeah? Okay so… the funny thing is that neither Lois nor Iris nor innocent people are in danger right now. It was all a lie! Just to see who would your partners choose and… they didn’t choose you! They left you to die for nothing! So, do me a favor and while you fall, think of that, okay? They left you die for nothing!-he shouted again while pushing me of the roof. I couldn’t maintain my balance and fell.

I fell and uselessly tried to hold onto something while I felt the wind and in my mind the words from Edward repeated “They left you die for nothing! For nothing!” again and again. It was like echo in my head and, when the memories of them crossed my mind, I couldn’t hear anything but those words.
Just before I touched the ground, I accepted them… because they were true. Then I closed my eyes and just waited.

Then there was nothing.


Edward saw you land on the floor and then blood starting to pour out.
-Huh… who would have thought?-he shrugged and then ordered his goons to go for your corpse, seeing as none of the superheroes were coming for it. He set the camera off and started editing the video for your brother; after all, he was a man of word. Once that was ready, he sent it to your brother and then sent the unedited version to the Justice League. Oh! How he wished he could see the faces of his new playmates when they saw this masterpiece.
He heard his goons come over. Now he would just set your body in flames, the perfect finale! However, the Justice League would miss it, since they didn’t follow his plans they deserved the punishment of not knowing what happened to your body. He was about to yell to his guys to bring you over so he could go home (because, jeesh, it sure was raining!) when something hit him on the back of the head, making him go down.
Someone went for him to take him to justice, while others inspected the place and found you. They decided to take you too.


Hall of Justice:

Diana was just entering the Hall of Justice when the computer notified her of something important that required the Leagues’ attention. She figured she would see it first and then call the team if necessary. It was a video, she noticed, so she pressed play and immediately confronted an image of you bound to a chair, unconscious.

-Y/N!

Worried as hell, Diana made the computer verify its contents, resulting on them being real not a fake. So, she immediately called the Justice League members:

-Everyone, hear me out. This is an emergency! Please, we need to help Y/N!-she yelled into the communicator and hoped that everyone hurried up.  While she waited, she anxiously tried to localize where this video was sent from and, once the computer was left to do that, she played the video forward. She could see the torture parts, but kept pressing forward, wanting to see the end of it. Maybe it was a threat? Maybe the kidnapers wanted something in exchange for your life? She paused when you plopped down on a red chair, and started to watch it, tapping anxiously the table and hoping that this video ended on some request and not your death.