what was i thinking with this angle wow

anonymous asked:

Hello!! Can I ask for a friend zoned MC feeling unrequited love to the RFA + V & Unknown which ends in a "I like you god damn it" confession?? And they like you back?? Thank youuuu (: I love your blog btw

Author’s note: sorry this is so rushed I have to post Saeran/V’s separate bc this is so long || So some of these aren’t as much confessions as they are cute, BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY THEM NONETHELESS ♥


  • “To the left, MC!!!! NO, YOUR OTHER LEFT!”
  • You smashed the buttons of your controller down, hoping something good would happen
  • I have no idea what I’m doing.
  • “Uhh, Yoosung?”
  • “Hmm?”
  • “I think I just died.”
  • “WHAT?”
  • You set your controller down and glanced over at your best friend
  • His eyes were glued to the screen, tongue sticking slightly out just like it always does when he’s focused on something
  • The light from the monitor flashed white and Yoosung jerked forward, causing your knees to collide
  • You felt your face heat up at the skin on skin connection
  • “A-Ah, Yoosung?”
  • “Not now, MC, I think I can win this!!”
  • Yoosung leaned over in front of you, trying to get a better angle of the screen
  • You got a whiff of Yoosung’s shampoo and your heart skipped a beat 
  • I don’t know how he smells this good after playing video games all day.
  • You involuntarily reached out and ran your fingers through his hair
  • “…So soft.”
  • For a second you though you felt Yoosung leaning into your touch
  • But that’s probably my imagination…
  • The screen flashed again and Yoosung turned around to look at you
  • He was still leaning over on your side, your faces now inches apart
  • “I won!”
  • Yoosung gave you a close eyed smile
  • That damn smile.
  • When you didn’t respond to him, Yoosung frowned
  • “What’s wrong, MC?”
  • “…”
  • Screw it.
  • You summoned every ounce of strength you had and closed the gap between his lips and yours
  • Before Yoosung could react, you pulled away
  • “U-Uhhh,” you looked at Yoosung’s bright red face, “Congrats on the win?”
  • Do it!! Tell him how you feel!
  • “Yoosung, I-“
  • “M-Me too.”


  • It was just another average friend date with Zen
  • You, him, a small bistro, hundreds of fans all begging to get a picture with him
  • Just a normal day
  • “Zen, over here!!!”
  • “Sorry about the flash, I just HAVE to make sure it’s a good picture.”
  • “Are you stupid??? ALL of Zen’s pictures are good!”
  • You turned to look at your friend, who was soaking up as much of the limelight as possible
  • This dork…
  • He stood up and tapped on his glass with a fork
  • “Ladies, ladies, you can all get a picture with your Zenny, just be patient!”
  • “Since when are you theirs?” you mumbled, crossing your arms
  • Zen glanced back at you
  • Crap, did he hear me?
  • You gave him a big smile and a thumbs up
  • That ought to throw him off his tracks.
  • Zen turned back to the sea of fans
  • “I’ll be outside in ten minutes, so if everyone could make a line outside, that would be perfect!”
  • In the blink of an eye the restaurant was empty again, a flood of screaming girls and guys retreating outside to wait for their prince
  • A sigh of relief escaped your lips as Zen sat down
  • “Are you mad at me?”
  • You looked down at your food and began messing with it
  • “Don’t play with your food, MC.”
  • “Okay, mom.”
  • He sighed, “If you aren’t going to answer my question I’ll just go outside right now.”
  • Zen put his hands on the table and started to push himself up
  • “W-Wait.”
  • You grabbed his arm and pulled him back down
  • “I’m not mad at you,” you sighed, “I’m just mad that we never get to spend time together like we used to.”
  • Zen put his hand on top of yours and leaned in toward you
  • “What do you mean? I see you all the time up at work!!”
  • You stared at his hand
  • He’s touching me.
  • He’s holding my hand.
  • “MC???”
  • You awkwardly coughed and pulled your hand away
  • “Y-Yeah, uh no… what were we talking about?”
  • Zen leaned back in his chair
  • “Never mind… let’s just eat.”
  • He lifted up his glass of water to his lips
  • Those lips…
  • “I love you.”
  • “WHAT?”
  • You pushed away from the table and stood up
  • “You spit all over my shirt,” you gestured down to the wet material that clung to your chest, “my WHITE shirt!!’
  • “W-Well you said that you… you love me.”
  • “Ah… that.”
  • And all of sudden, the floor became veryyyyy interesting
  • I wish I had the power of invisibility…
  • “MC, look at me.”
  • While you were contemplating superpowers, Zen had taken the time to walk over and stand in front of you
  • “Nah, I think I’m good,” you continued looking down, “the floor happens to be my favorite shade of… brown.”
  • A soft and warm hand tilted your chin up, and your eyes met his scarlet ones
  • “I love you too.”
  • You slowly leaned in-
  • Offff course.
  • Zen stepped back and glanced at the girl peeking through the front door
  • There was the click of a camera and a squeal, and she was gone again
  • Zen scratched the back of his head
  • “Sorry, I guess it’s-whoa whoa WHOA, what are you doing????
  • You flung your wet shirt over the back of the chair and shivered
  • “Man, this place is kinda cold,” you looked up and smirked, “then again, I am wearing just a bra.”
  • You heard a very inhumane noise come from the back of Zen’s throat
  • “The fans can wait.”
  • Zen grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his chest, his lips crashing against yours
  • The beast was NOT contained that night


  • On your way out of the RFA building you glanced at your watch
  • Damn… it’s already 11pm? I stayed waaaaayyyy too late.
  • When you walked past the break room you heard the familiar sound of the copy machine clunking turning on
  • “…damn Jumin and his damn reports-“
  • I wonder if that’s…
  • “-with his damn cat and the damn cat wine.”
  • Yup, that’s Jaehee.
  • You peeked in the room and watched as she stuffed a stack of papers into the copy tray
  • She wiped her hands on her skirt and sat in the chair next to the whirring machine
  • “You should go talk to her.”
  • “WhAT THE-“
  • Seven put a hand over your mouth and pulled you away from the door
  • Jaehee glanced up and sighed
  • “Anyone there?”
  • Seven removed his hand and you lowered your voice to a whisper
  • “What the hell do you want?”
  • He glanced at the breakroom and then back to you, giving you his famous ‘I have an idea that could go horribly wrong or perfectly right’ look
  • “Good luck,” was all he said before grabbing you and harshly shoving you in the breakroom
  • “WAIT-”
  • But it was too late
  • In a flash the redhead was gone, and you were alone with Jaehee
  • She looked up and smiled
  • “MC? I didn’t know you were here so late! It’s nice to have some company.”
  • You stared at her, unsure of what to say
  • S-So cute…
  • “U-Uhh, yeah…”
  • Jaehee stood up and stretched, letting out a tiny yawn
  • “How much longer does Jumin have you here?”
  • She picked up the warm copies from the tray and leaned up against the machine
  • “I just have to run this back to his office and I’m done! At least, until he inevitably calls me at midnight asking for more cat food…”
  • You walked with her to Jumin’s office, continuing to listen to her rant about his late night antics
  • When the two of you finally got there, she plopped the papers in a box outside the door
  • “H-Hey, Jaehee?”
  • She glanced over at you
  • “Hmm?”
  • “You wanna go grab some late night coffee? Since, you know, Jumin should be calling you in about,” you checked your watch, “30 minutes.”
  • “Sure!! That’s exactly the pick me up I need, a nice little friend date!”
  • Hold up.
  • “…Friend date?”
  • “Yeah, I was thinking-”
  • “I like you. A lot.”
  • Jaehee stopped and turned to you
  • “A-As a friend?”
  • You stepped closer, “More than a friend.”
  • Her eyes widened and a deep blush spread across her cheeks
  • “Oh…”
  • “Oh?”
  • You felt your heart break in two
  • She doesn’t feel the same… dammit, this is why you never fall in love with a straight girl.
  • Tiny hands wrapped around your own, causing you to look back up
  • Jaehee had a soft smile spread across her lips
  • “Me too… a-about the not friend thing.”
  • Her gripped tightened, “Not that I don’t consider you a friend! I’m just, well, what I’m trying to say, or rather, what want to say-”
  • “Would you two KISS ALREADY???”
  • Both of your heads snapped in the direction of the voice
  • “Seven, whyyyyy are you still here?”
  • “Still?”
  • “Yeah, he was here earlier when-”
  • “-When I set you guys up!”
  • As you and Seven began arguing, Jaehee looked between the two of you and sighed
  • She interlocked fingers with you and pulled you away
  • “Sorry, Luciel, but we have a date to get to.”
  • You stuck your tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes
  • “Whatever… have fun you two love birdddssss!!”
  • You looked over at Jaehee and smiled
  • Oh, we will.


  • Dammit, he closed the blinds.
  • You rolled your chair closer and angled your head in an attempt to see into Jumin’s office again
  • “Peeping tom much?
  • “Shut it.”
  • Zen sighed and leaned up against your desk
  • “I still don’t understand what you see in him.”
  • You rolled your eyes and looked over at Zen
  • “You promised you’d be supportive-
  • “-And I am,” he held up his hands in surrender, “I just think you could do better.”
  • “What? Like date you?”
  • “Well, not that much better.”
  • Zen smirked and you playfully hit him in the stomach
  • Within the next second the two of you burst out laughing
  • “Wow,” you wiped a tear from your eye, “I don’t even know why that was so funny.”
  • “Me neith-”
  • “MC,” Jumin’s voice boomed, “Can I see you in my office?”
  • Zen raised his eyebrows and pushed himself off your desk
  • “Good luck,” he glanced back, “with him, you’ll need it.”
  • You rolled your eyes and stood up, cringing when your knees made a loud pop
  • Could my body, like, not embarrass me? No? Alllllllrighty.
  • You walked into the room and Jumin closed the door behind him
  • “So, what’s up?”
  • Jumin turned around and sighed
  • “I believe some… congratulations are in order.”
  • Huh?
  • “Did I get a raise?”
  • Jumin chuckled, taking one big step toward you
  • “No, I’m talking about you and Zen.”
  • …Huh?
  • “I’m a little lost… what do you mean-”
  • “Your relationship. Are you not romantically involved with each other?”
  • “Huh?”
  • Said that one out loud this time…
  • You mentally kicked yourself, “Zen and I are just friends.”
  • “Just friends?”
  • “Purely platonic.”
  • Jumin scratched his chin, completely lost in thought
  • You took a deep breath
  • Here goes everything nothing.
  • “…I actually have my eye on someone else.”
  • Jumin snapped back into reality
  • “Who? If that, well, if it isn’t too much to ask.”
  • Crap. Crapcrapcrapcrap-
  • “Is it really not Zen?”
  • Oh my god.
  • “You know,” you grabbed his tie, “you’re pretty clueless for a CEO.”
  • In one gentle tug, your lips connected with his
  • After a few seconds, Jumin pulled away
  • “So, it’s me then?”
  • You shook your head and grinned
  • “Of course, you-“
  • Jumin’s lips crashed on to yours again,his hands cupping your face
  • And let’s just say you were now very thankful for the closed blinds


  • “Wrench.”
  • “WRENCH!”
  • “Screwdriver.”
  • You grabbed the two tools from Seven’s hand
  • “You know, you don’t have to repeat everything I say.”
  • “Repeat everything I-OUCH! MC, why’d you kick meeee?”
  • Seven hugged his shin and hopped up and down
  • I’m surprised he has this much energy at 2 in the morning….
  • You looked back up at Seven, who had miraculously gotten over his bruised shin and was chugging a can of Dr. Pepper
  • …Who am I kidding, he never sleeps anyways.
  • It had been about an hour since Seven called you asking for help fixing his chair
  • You had gone to the furniture store IKEA anyone??? with him earlier that day and actually took the time to READ the damn manual
  • Anddddd, done!”
  • You clapped your hands together and smiled
  • “Wanna test it out?”
  • Seven gave you a mischievous grin
  • “Don’t mind if I do!”
  • Before you knew it, Seven grabbed your waist and pulled you into his lap, causing both of you to fall back into the chair
  • It creaked under the combined weight of you and Seven, but surprisingly remained stable
  • “Hey, you really did fix it!!”
  • Seven began spouting off nonsense about how crappy it was earlier, but you were too busy thinking about the fact that you were sitting
  • In his lap
  • INCHES away from his face
  • He’s so warm…
  • “-Plus, it kept making weird noises! I’m so glad you came over tonight.”
  • “Mmhmm.”
  • “Uh, earth to MC?? Agent 707 calling, can you read me??”
  • You shook you head, zoning back in
  • Seven sighed, relaxing back into the chair
  • “Thank God Seven you’re okay… I can’t have my best friend dying on me… literally,” Seven chuckled at his own joke
  • I love that little laugh.
  • “Dammit…”
  • Seven looked back at you
  • “What’s on your mind, MC?”
  • “You.”
  • “W-What?”
  • Here we go.
  • “Seven, I like you.”
  • “You mean,” Seven furrowed his brows, “You like me, or you like-like me?”
  • You rolled your eyes, how old is he again??
  • “You’re so ridiculous.”
  • Seven looked at you patiently
  • “I like-like you.”
  • You felt lips lightly press on the back of your neck
  • “Well that’s not fair,” Seven tightened his grip on your waist, “because I love-love you.”

anonymous asked:

Old characters searching for true love. Hook still family to Henry. I swear, if we have to see Emma die so Henry can help his step dad move on and find love again, I will puke.

Are you really using a broad sweeping description for advertisers at May upfronts as a spoiler and then applying it to the one character it’s least likely to apply to in order to make yourself (and me) crazy?

Good grief. They’ve already said Henry is going to be the big love story. I think they are telling us that so we know that they don’t need to use any of the returning three for that purpose, especially next season.

My inbox has been full of question about Hook getting a new love interest, so I will address it ONE time.

Obviously I have no idea what they’re going to do, but let me run through the reasons it’s a dumb fucking idea.

Hook is one-half of the most popular, most epic, most central love-story on this show for the last 5 seasons. The audience would reject out of hand any attempt to give him a new love story, and why would they want to turn off the audience that way? They want viewers.

We just saw them getting married and pledge to love each other to eternity. What are you picturing that could come between that and still keep the tenants of true love alive on this show? What would that say about love and love stories on this show? What would it say about true love, the most powerful magic of all? Would it make you want to watch another love story? Would you believe that true love is still magic? Or would it destroy the foundations the show is built on?

This is all especially true if Emma is still alive which I 100% expect her to be. Killing Emma would demolish this reboot before it began. It’s depressing and devoid of hope and a terrible legacy to give the protagonist and the show as a whole.

This show was renewed because of syndication and streaming dollars, killing Emma kills that business. Period.

Next I have a lot of asks that go, “I can’t see them not giving Hook a new love interest, because I can’t see them not using Colin for a romantic/sexual angle…”

Let me get this straight, to you Colin is only good for how he relates sexually to a woman? He has no worth as an actor, and Hook has no worth as a character, outside of a romantic storyline? Wow. Fuck off. No seriously think about what you’re saying. It’s gross.

Think about how sick you feel at the thought of Hook with another woman, and then tell me again how valuable it would be to give Colin a romantic story to play just cause he’s hot? His value on this show as a leading man is with Emma. Period. They never even let us see him kiss Milah or flirt with a bar wench because of how fucking unpalatable that would have been to the audience. You think they’re gonna think the audience is more ready to see or now? After the wedding and 5 years of epic romance? Just stop.

I am not discussing this all summer. Because while I think killing Emma or destroying CS or giving Hook a new love interest would be shooting themselves in the foot, if they do it, it won’t matter to me because I won’t be watching.

If they kill Emma? Deal breaker

If they break Emma and Hook up? Deal Breaker

If they make me feel bad about Emma and Hook’s future? (not counting your garden variety villains and curses they need to deal with) Dealbreaker

If they give Colin a new love interest? (Even if it doesn’t mess with CS because it’s a prequel or fairy tale times-wimey hijinx) Dealbreaker

If they even have Hook look the wrong way at another woman? Deal breaker.

I’m going to have zero fucking tolerance for any of it, just as I have zero fucking tolerance for endless asks on the topic. If it happens, it won’t matter because I won’t be watching and you don’t have to watch either.

Teen Wolf Imagine: Why?

Peter Hale Imagine

Prompt: Imagine being Peter’s girlfriend and no one understands why

Warnings Mild Adult Language

Does not follow the plot of “ Teen Wolf”

Point of view: The Reader’s Point Of View

I giggled softly as Peter nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck. I softly pushed him off as I wanted him to continue. His hand tightly wrapped around my waist as he pulled me close.

“I love the way your smell is mixed with mine. A bittersweet smell if you will” he murmured into my neck, I scrunched my nose slightly as I pushed him off.

“Peter stop saying weird things like that. It’s creepy not romantic” I giggled as I begin to stand up but was immediately pulled back down by Peter.

“You know it’s romantic” he smirked as she flashed his electric blue eyes, I scoffed lightly before patting his face lightly

“In your dreams wolfie” I laughed as I pushed him away, quickly scurrying to the kitchen.

“Why are they here?” He hissed as he growled at the door

“Peter what are-” I started but was I interrupted by the someone banging on the door. I stared at him for a moment, he shook his head lightly as he placed his hand on his lips.

“I know you are in there I heard talking!” A muffled voice shouted as they continue to bang on the door

“I can hear your heartbeating Peter answer the door!” Another voice shouted, I sighed as I shuffled to the door

“No (Y/N) wait!” He snapped as I pulled open the door, causing a lanky teen to fall on the ground. He snapped his head up as he glared at me.

“Who is she?” One of the teenagers asked as the all crowded into Peter’s apartment. They all stared at me, there eyes examining me carefully. Taking in every inch they could.

“I don’t need to tell you shit” Peter snapped as he crossed his arms, as his smirk traced on his lips.

“I’m (Y/N), Peter’s girlfriend” I laughed as I watched Peter glare at me. “You know those glares and growls don’t scare me Twilight”

“Shut up asshole” he snapped

“Come make me bitch” I stated as I raised my eyebrow, his eyes flash blue for a moment.

“Oh I’m shaking out my boots Jacob” I teased as I moved to the recliner as I placed a bright smile on my face.

“So what do you guys need exactly?” I questioned

“Nothing get the hell out” he hissed as he glared at me for moment

“Peter shut up and be nice” I warned, he scoffed lightly before rolling his eyes at me.

“So wait you’re dating Peter?” A pale boy stated “This Peter Hale, he tried to kill all of us and not to mention he is an asshole”

“Yes I am dating this asshole” I giggled as I watched his face as it contorted into confusion

“She’s crazy! How can someone like her date him unless she is crazy” the pale boy state “unless you were kidnapped, blink twice if he kidnapped you”

“He didn’t kidnap me, I’m dating him on my own free will” I smiled

“Why?” A strawberry blonde questioned, as on cue a soft cry filled the room, I peered over my shoulder to see our daughter waddled over to Peter. Her cries soft as she reached her arms up for Peter

“What’s wrong Princess?” He cooed as he picks her up,rubbing her eyes she lays her head on his shoulder while her other hand tightly wraps around her wolf, Derek. She wanted to always remember her Uncle Derek

“I nightmare Dada. Monster came to me and eat me” she whined

“Well let’s go find the monsters and Daddy will kill them for you” he smiled, she nodded in agreement as he took back in the room.

“That’s why. He maybe a complete ass, like I mean a complete egotistical narcissistic asshole but he has his moments” I smiled as I stared at the awestruck teenagers.

“When did Peter have a daughter?” A girl with short hair growled

“15 months ago” I answered knowing that she didn’t want an answer

“Wow who would’ve known he could be a good dad” the boy with the angled jaw stated

“You know what’s a better sight, (Y/D/N) loves Derek. You should see him in Uncle Mode. He isn’t the brooding asshole he seems to be” I giggled

“That I have to see” the pale boy laughed

“Wait so what did you guys need again?” I questioned

“Nothing, it was a small issue but I think we can handle it” the angled jaw boy said with a soft smile as he waved me goodbye, leaving the apartment one by one just as they came.

“She’s sleep” he mumbled as he placed himself on my lap, his head nuzzling back into my neck “I love you”

“I know why wouldn’t you?” I hummed back as I ran my hands through his hair

“God I really do” he laughed

Haechan ; 100 (Drabble Challenge)

Haechan Scenario 

Prompt: "Sometimes I take hot showers to practice burning in hell, that being said there is a place for me in hell and it’s called the throne" 

Genre: Fluff; Drabble

Words: 393

a/n: Sorry I have been so inactive this week, I haven’t been feeling well and I was experiencing some writers block. I’m going to try and finish all of the remaining drabble requests today and tomorrow.

   There were times when you wondered how haechan was able to have a full out roast session one minute and be the most adorable and caring boyfriend the next minute. The two options were on two very different sides of the spectrum and yet the two were never far from each other. One moment he was complimenting you on how cute you looked in your outfit and the very next moment he was teasing you, there was no in-between.

   It was a quiet Saturday evening and the sound of the tv filled the air acting as background noise. You sat on the couch with a bowl of popcorn on your lap and haechan’s arms around you. It was a seemingly normal night as both of you watched the screen before you that was playing a random reality tv show that happened to be on at the time.

  “Hey Haechan,” you say “I used to think that your adorableness would save you from the fiery place that is hell, but seeing how you roast me 24/7, I no longer think that it will be enough to save you anymore.” you say completely out of the blue.

  “It’s funny how you mention that my dear (Y/N),” he starts, “Sometimes I take hot showers to practice burning in hell, that being said there is a place in for me in hell and it’s called the throne.”

  “Wow,” you comment “Not quite the answer that I was expecting but I’ll take it. I’m glad you have everything planned out. You grabbed a handful of popcorn “Don’t miss me too much.”

  “Who says you’re not going to be down there with me,” Haechan comments reaching over to grab some popcorn “You’ll be my right-hand lady, queen of the underworld.”

  “What makes you think I will be with you, I have done nothing wrong, I am an angle.” you retort.

  “Don’t flatter yourself (Y/N), you are not as innocent as you think,” Haechan responds

  “How so?”

  “Well, to start off, you just told me that I was going to hell literally out of nowhere, and you always join in when I’m roasting the other members.” he points out causing you to pause, he was right. “Your silence tells me that I’m kind of right in this situation, but don’t worry as long as we are together we’ll be fine.”

Requested: ✅

Up next: Mark; 100 (Drabble challenge) ~ "What are you twelve?“ - “Out of ten? Yes." 

[Requests are open]


A (W)hole New World - Two

Part one is in my masterlist.

Reid x reader.

Two weeks after your little conversation with Spencer and you were prepared and ready to go.

Well, as much as you could be.

You and your friend Imogen had been shopping as you knew Spencer would outrightly refuse to go even though technically, the whole bum loving thing was his idea.

Immie was that one friend that everyone had in their group. The friend who was ridiculously open about their sex life and who took great pleasure in revealing all the kinky stuff she got up to. She’d been your college room mate which had meant that unfortunately, you’d been treated to visual displays of it on more than one occasion when she forgot to alert you to her antics by looping a ribbon over the door handle.

When you met up for lunch and told her you needed her help and with what her eyes had lit up and she’d more or less dragged you into the nearest sex shop, with you muttering, “I didn’t mean we had to go today” under your breath.

Once you were in there though it was kinda fun. The sales woman was extremely knowledgeable and helpful, and you and Immie had had an incredibly amusing hour trying to choose the right…. apparatus for you to use on him. You didn’t want anything too big, just in case it made Spencer feel like you were belittling his size in any way, but you didn’t want anything too small.

In the end you chose one which you reckoned was actually about the same size as him, feeling it was only fair.

“I must say, I’m very impressed that he’s letting you do this to him. I’m also very surprised that it’s something you want to do. I always knew you had a hidden dark side.”

“Hey!” you fixed your friend with a look. “It’s not like I’m completely vanilla. It’s just…. Been a long while since my college years. And it wasn’t like this was a burning desire that I’ve been harbouring. I just figure that fair is fair. Plus, I’m kinda intrigued.”

“Are you gonna make him a wax down there?” Immie asked like it was something she causally asked her best friend everyday.

“Erm, no. He takes care of that anyway. It’s neat.”

“Not the front, you tool. Some men have extremely hairy cracks.”

The sales woman had nodded along with her, agreeing. “Some women too, for that matter.”

“You mean I should… Wax it? Mine as well as his?” This was turning out to be way more trouble than you’d been expecting.

“No sweets,” the saleswoman patted your arm reassuringly. “But you should perhaps check on the situation first.”

Which had led to yet another amusing conversation with Spencer.

“Spence….” you were sitting across from him on the couch.

“Hmmm?” he barely glanced away from the episode of Doctor Who he was watching, even though he’d seen it like five million times before.

“Do you have… Erm…. Is your…. Oh fuck.”

You rarely rambled so you had his attention now, him turning to look at you with his eyebrows raised.

“What I’m trying to ask… Is…. Erm… Doyouhaveahairyasshole?”

Spencer blinked a few times as he processed your question. You knew you didn’t, you’d checked earlier in the bath. And afterwards, you’d inspected things with a carefully angled mirror. Genitalia wasn’t the most attractive thing as it was but there was just something extra sinister looking about that little puckered hole. It was a strange colour, not quite pink and not quite… brown. It wasn’t attractive looking in the least and there was the added matter that waste came directly out of it.

But then again your vagina wasn’t exactly going to win a beauty contest and that regularly expelled blood and tissue on a monthly basis, and Spencer had no qualms about pounding into that.

Did guys butt holes look different? Or were they are all the same? Like, you’d seen Spencer’s ass before, he had a great butt. Pert and toned. But you’d never got up close and personal with it before, never had the need to spread his cheeks and whisper, “Cooeey!” at the teeny tiny hole or inspect the amount of hair that may or may not be hiding in the confines of his crack.

“You’re asking me if I have a hairy butt?”

“Erm. Not exactly. I’m asking if you have a hairy hole? Because that’s a thing… Apparently. And the woman at the shop said that crap particles can get lodged in it and tangled up in it, and Immie said…. Well Immie said she once dated a guy who had crack hair she was pretty certain she could plait.”

“Shop? Immie?”

Ah, Yes. You hadn’t told him that was where you’d been earlier. You were waiting until later to pull out your bag of goodies, not that anything was going to happen tonight. You just wanted him to know that you were fully prepared. With lube, butt plugs and anal beads and everything.

Whole hog, right?

“I went shopping with Immie. And we bought stuff. Wanna see?”

“Later… Immie knows about what we’re planning on doing?”

He didn’t look amused.

“Don’t you dare give me that look, Spencer Reid. I had questions that needed answering and I didn’t want Garcia randomly hacking my internet search history and seeing it.”

“Why the hell would she do that?”

“Spencer… Have you met our colleague Penelope? It’s what she does for fun! And you know she’s more than capable of doing it because you got her to hack Morgan’s when you and him were having that ridiculous prank war. Plus, it’s Immie. She’s hardly gonna spread it around the BAU because she’s my only friend that doesn’t actually work there. She’s cool… ”

Spencer relented, relaxing his shoulders slightly. He knew and liked her, for the most part. Admittedly he hadn’t been her biggest fan when her and Morgan had hooked up one night and she’d turned up the next day to regale you with tales of his huge, hulking penis. But for the most part, they got on.

“Back to the question at hand here. Do you or do you not have a hairy crack? Because if you do, we need to rectify that.”

“Really? You’re the one who wants to…. Well peg me, so if I do surely you can just put up with it.”

“Erm… No. And pegging? That’s just…. Not a nice term. Fair is fair here, if you want to fuck me in the bum, I get to do it back to you. And I don’t have a hairy crack, I checked.”

“I know you don’t.”


This was new information.

“Y/N think about the positions we’ve had sex in and the angles. I’ve seen that area before. Just because I’ve never purposefully stuck anything there doesn’t mean I haven’t looked at it.”

And he wasn’t even blushing. Wow.

“I’m not sure how I feel about this.”

“You’re asking me if I have a hairy crack and you’re not sure how you feel about the fact that I’ve seen yours?”

“Yes. Like what if it wasn’t properly clean or something? I don’t want you seeing that.”

“Jesus Fucking Christ, Y/N. For someone with such a dirty mouth you’re incredibly weird about completely normal and natural things sometimes.”

“Well for someone who doesn’t even shake hands with strangers you’re incredibly not weird about this.”

“Are you aware how many bacteria can be transmitted during a single handshake…. It’s actually so much safer…. ”

“… to kiss, yes I know. You’ve told me before. Shaking someone’s hand and eyeing up someone’s….butt hole, when they’re not fully prepared are two different things though.”

Spencer’s shoulders started to shake gently and the laughter he’d been trying to suppress throughout this conversation snuck out. After a second or two, you joined in.

“This is ridiculous. How are we ever actually going to do this?” you spluttered out.

He pulled himself together, placing a hand on your thigh. “We don’t have to, you know. We really don’t have to. We can just think of other things to do.”

“Nope nope. I’ve bought…. tools and things for this. Dollar has been spent and I’m mentally preparing myself for having my anus ripped to shreds. I just hope you’re doing the same.”

The laughter broke free again from the pair of you and you were wiping away tears.

“This is going to be such an anti climax.”

“Probably,” Spencer agreed.

“But at least we can say we’ve done it.”


“So erm…. Do you?”

“Really? You really want to know?”


Spencer hauled himself up off the couch and stood in front of you, unbuckling his trousers.

“What are you doing?” you squeaked as he lowered his pants and boxers, exposing his butt to you.

“You wanted to know…. ”

“I didn’t want to see it!”

“Yeah well, if you want to pretend to have a penis and fuck me with it, you’re going to have to see it at some point. I’ve showered, and I’ve not been to the bathroom since. Just… Have a look.”

Ugh. This was not how you’d pictured your evening.

But okay. Whatever.

Leaning forward slightly, your pressed your palms firmly to his cheeks, spreading them oh so slightly and taking a brief peek.

Alright. Okay. You could work with that. There was a very very light smattering of hair at the top of the backs of his thighs but it didn’t… venture into THAT area too much.

“Well?” he asked impatiently.

You removed your hands, giving his buttock a playful tap.

“We’re good. I think.”

“Still wanna do this?”

You nodded as he pulled his pants back up and turned to look at you. “I’m not backing out now.”

“Good. Cos neither am I.”

You nodded at each other.

“Drink?” You asked him suddenly, remembering the half drank bottle of wine in the fridge.

“Oh my god, yes.”


ESPN Films and ESPN W | Nine for IX “Branded” | for saveitlikesolo

I think without question women who aspire to be athletes, who want to play sports, are better off today than they were thirty years ago. I think it really encouraged young girls to go out there and aspire to their dreams and try to reach their goals. 

But despite Title IX, women have really gained very little at the professional sports level over time. 

It’s a cultural issue. It’s not just a women in sport issue. As a culture we have to look at all of the messages we send out on a daily basis about what we think is important. I think we’ve made a lot of progress. But I think we have a lot of progress to make.

Bullet Points: The Ties That Bind

Murder Most Foul-part 1

Bullet points are encapsulated scene analysis from the top of each act to the bottom. (each act is bookended by a commercial break)

This ep is a really nice example of something I’ve mentioned quite a few times lately–the idea of parallel storytelling. It can be easy to mistake certain common events within 2 storylines as an indication of parallel storytelling when just as often they’re meant to serve as compare/contrast. 

There are at minimum five men in this episode dealing with the concept of redemption. Some for themselves (August, Killian, Grandpa Charming), some for a loved one (David) and one wrestling with the idea of not wanting to be redeemed no matter how high the cost he paid (Rumple). Each journey informs all the others. Which provides amazing emotional layers and is what made this such a powerful episode and perfectly set up the emotional gut punch at the end.

But none of these storylines are parallel in a way that would allow you to predict an ending to one based on the other. For example–look at Grandpa Charming and Killian. Both are men dealing with the idea of not only personal redemption but of changing the way the people they love see them. Making good as it were. Do their storylines inform each other? Absolutely. Are there common elements? You betcha. Are they parallel? No. In fact near the end of the ep Killian takes a hard right and Grandpa Charming takes a hard left and they crash into each other head on. So even though they were on similar journeys using either storyline to try to predict the ending of the other is folly. 

True parallel storytelling is about a lot more than common events. It’s about larger overarching themes. Motivations. Intentions. That sort of thing.

But enough of that let’s get on to the ep.

Keep reading

Aw man, I had a great fic idea last night when I was falling asleep and I was like “ooh yeah I’m totally going to write that” but I cannot remember at all what it was.

It’s not even about Ganondorf being in the game or not, but more or less how Calamity Ganon as a whole was handled.

In one sense I understand that they were trying to go back to their roots with the original Legend of Zelda, where Ganon was just this brute beast who kidnapped Zelda and rampaged across Hyrule, and the focus of the game was on discovering and exploring what the overworld had to offer. However, after coming along so far with so many other entries in the series, with characters both heroes and villains that have been written with motive and character, this is a bit of a disappointment. I mean, I’ll be realistic here and say that Ganondorf has always been a pretty one dimensional character, with his primary motive being the hunger for power and sovereignty over Hyrule. Wind Waker did give him some background for his aspirations, which I will be forever grateful for, but the point is that he had enough in any game he’s appeared in thus far that made him feel like a personal threat to you. It made him feel like an antagonist, a sentient being working against you that had to be stopped. Even Zelda 1 had this in some capacity, with Ganon actually having kidnapped Princess Zelda as opposed to Zelda going after him to keep him at bay, making him feel like a true antagonist.

However, Calamity Ganon just feels like the evil that is there just because. His evil destruction is akin to something a hurricane or an earthquake would be described as. It appears now and then throughout the land, destroys everything in its path with no regards as to who and what it destroys, and will probably come back again sometime down the line despite any measures taken against it. I mean I’m sure people feel anger and loss towards the devastation left behind by natural disasters, and Calamity Ganon pretty much invokes the same sort of feeling. The only reason one might feel something beyond this is a long time Zelda fan who knows who Ganondorf was, and would come to think like “wow, look at what he has become.” Maybe that’s the angle they were going for, but as a stand alone villain he’s not very villain-y, if you get my drift.

I suppose I’m just salty because they clearly wrote a very good Zelda in this game, who showed weaknesses as well as strengths despite her title. It would have made for a good opportunity to write a villain that a player felt motivated to go after, someone with cunning and manipulative tendencies that just made you want to send him back to the hell he came from. I mean, for myself playing the game, I feel absolutely no urgency to go and fight Calamity Ganon at all, as he doesn’t feel all that threatening to me. I suppose the key point of Breath of the Wild was about exploration, which is what I’m doing. It’s just disappointing that, with what we’ve been given so far, that they’ve sort of took some steps back in this department as opposed to improving.

boyfriend hyungwon

A/N: wow look at me go!!! posting these consistently!!! this probably won’t last but i hope you enjoy the posts!!! masterlist!!!

Originally posted by hyungvon

  • please love this noodle with all yah hart an sole
  • (what do you mean that meme is out of style?)
  • seriously this child,,,,,he just has a special place in my heart okay don’t hurt him
  • let’s just get this out of the way
  • he is such a hoe for couple naps
  • want to hang out after practice? come to the dorm so he can nap with you. want to have a movie night? perfect because he wants to use you as an adorable pillow.
  • he may be asleep for 75% of your relationship but i promise he is always dreaming of you fingers crossed he sleep talks a lil and smiles and says your name aw
  • he tries his best to be awake when he sees you even if he’s tired because you energize him so much !!! he will probably still be sleepy af but his eyes will be alive
  • i can see him really into playing with your hands and having you play with his
  • like you’ll be talking with the rest of monsta x and he’ll simply take a hold of your hand and make your fingers dance on the palm of his hand or something cute and childish like that
  • and when you look at him like “bro???” he just shrugs and smiles and you let him continue because who can resist this PrEciOUs BoY
  • also forehead kisses will be abundant because height 
  • please kiss his forehead too though okay brush his hair out of his face and make him feel smol even though he’s tol too
  • lots of eye contact!!! always!!! 
  • he wants you to know you are his world so he will give you his undivided attention and react to whatever you’re doing
  • and by react i mean replying or sassing you but both are great
  • he would be so savage and he would LIVE for the times you were roasted so bad that you were rendered speechless and he would hold this bluffing face for a few seconds and then let out a chuckle and ruffle your hair before kissing your forehead
  • speaking of things he lives for
  • hyungwon? more like hyungmeme am i right ladies !!!1!!!!11! sorry i had to
  • this kid uses derp faces irl but oh man he probably has a folder of reaction gifs and memes on his folder and laptop like a loser not that i have one too or anything
  • literally you will be so well-versed in internet culture just by dating hyungwon
  • half of the time your text conversations aren’t even words they’re just pictures
  • and when they are words they are references to memes
  • please make him into a meme or better yet make your couple into a meme like wow that must be hyungwon’s dream and if it isn’t well it is now
  • honestly he’s the kind of guy to sit and talk to you while you get dressed or do your hair and makeup or something and he’ll just stare at you in awe because wow how did he get so lucky to get the ethereal being that is you
  • probably a cheese master
  • so much grease all the time
  • probably shoots finger guns a lot too?? idk he’s a loser
  • gives the BEST hugs!!!!!!!!! 
  • imagine that lanky linguini stumbling in after a long day of schedules and when you stand up to greet him he wraps his limbs all around you and the both of you are completely intertwined and he lets out this really big sigh because he is so relieved to be at home with the person he loves most
  • whispers “i love you” in your ear ALL THE TIME especially in public because he loves seeing you smile or blush or react every time and it’s like a lil secret that only you two understand because that’s what your relationship is like
  • lots of blankets in the relationship dont be surprised if he buys you pajamas and a blanket because he already thinks you’re cute when you’re sleepy but this would make you even cuter
  • on the rare occasions when he is awake while you are asleep oh man that boy is going to have his eyes glued to you like he wants to memorize every angle and dip of your face
  • because wow he loves sleep and he loves you and those two things together???????? actually heaven
  • also please enjoy his morning voice and his really late night sleepy voice because i can only imagine
  • he will sing to you!!! lowkey shy about it but dammit you better tell him how precious he is and how much talent he has and how much you love his voice because if you dont tell him these things i will be so sad
  • he’s lowkey extra so don’t be surprised if after you tell him you love his voice he becomes determined to learn your favorite songs and sing them while you two cook together and slide around the kitchen in your socks
  • something about hyungwon makes me feel warm like he is your source of warmth and he reminds you of home somehow
  • will love it if you tell him these sentimental cheesy things like he’ll probably make a ridiculous face in reply but after the joke is over he’ll squeeze you really tight and whisper “thank you”
  • all in all hyungwon is a precious memechild and he is so relaxing to be around and together you two will have found your matching peace (and piece lol) and he will share his deepest thoughts with you because he knows you understand him more truthfully than anyone and he will make sure you feel like you are sparkling every single day because wow behind all the memes there’s a lot of meaning 

Okay, so this picture has been around for years now. Whole seasons have gone by. It’s accepted as a good indication of the Freelancers’ relative heights and such. And that’s pretty cool. It’s a good picture. 

But I want to talk about their poses.

Specifically, I want to talk about the poses of North and South. Especially South.

So, overall the poses appear to portray some part of their personality. We’ve got Niner standing and saluting, Maine and Tex looking tough. Carolina looks a bit sassy, Florida and Wyoming are oddly neutral, Wash looks to be standing weirdly straight, Connie is in the background hunched in the shadows. York is kneeling in the kind of manly pose that is open and powerful.

Then we’ve got the Dakotas.

North is standing in this big powerful pose, legs apart, back straight, sniper rifle held almost negligently in one hand. Which sort of fits with the other poses, so it’s cool.

South, in a contrast to york, is kneeling in a really closed off position. Like wow. Her entire torso is hidden almost defensively, her shoulders are hunched, she’s not holding a weapon, and she’s the only one staring at the ground. She very much looks like she is really uncomfortable and doesn’t want to be there.

But wait, North’s hand is on her shoulder. Surely he’s reassuring her! Except… the angle of his arm, the powerful stance, and her subdued position really make it look like he’s pushing her down. Forcefully. Like he’s holding her there.

I think that is a big hint towards what their relationship is like. I mean, okay, we get to see North be all ‘big brother’ like during season 9. But… not really? In fact, it sort of really creeps me out and doesn’t give me a ‘big brother’ vibe at all (and I have a big brother so…).

Here’s South, who’s fourth on the leaderboard. Who’s got a vicious temper that we clearly see. And here’s South who was clearly shown being thrown off her game by her brother in season 9. Who’s almost being held down in this picture, forced to a defensive position while everyone else hovers powerfully over her.

Now say what you will about South’s character, but if I was the one who appeared to be being held back by my brother and had my face constantly rubbed into the fact that everyone else is apparently more powerful than me? I would be furious. I would be spitting mad. I would be so damn impolite.

I would be the South we get to see in season 9.

And I would most definitely hate hate hate to pose for a picture with those same people, and I would loathe to kneel at their feet with ‘big brother’s’ hand pushing down on my shoulder.

anonymous asked:

I know you like the strokes, and reptilla invokes a prime mood, where should I begin if I want to get into them?

WOW, I’m surprised somebody remembered that I’ve said The Strokes are my favorite band :’) 

OKAY, Reptilia was the first song I heard by The Strokes as well (I was like 5 or 6 when I heard it on the radio and I fell in love with the song) but I didn’t actually become a hardcore Strokes fan until around 2011 when they released their album Angles? Here are some songs I recommend for first-time listeners that I guarantee you will enjoy:

  • Someday (listen asap)
  • Hard To Explain
  • Last Nite
  • New York City Cops (listen asap)
  • What Ever Happened?
  • 12:51
  • You Only Live Once (listen asap)
  • Juicebox (listen asap)
  • Under Cover Of Darkness (listen asap)
  • Taken For A Fool
  • All The Time
  • Welcome To Japan

Honestly though, after you’ve listened to those fan favorites I listed, you should go through their entire discography in order. I really love all of their songs, except for maybe one or two throughout their discography. Their B-sides are amazing too. I had to leave the Strokes fan base a few years ago because the fans are obnoxious, but I still lowkey listen to them very often.

Birthday Surprise

Kinks:58-Sensory deprivation, 97-The others birthday

Warnings: Dom!Gabriel, Sub!Reader, blindfold, gagged!Reader, tied up!Reader, bit of wax play, food play, established relationship

Word Count: 2541

Gender: Female

Author: Gwen

Your name: submit What is this?

Shelves surrounded you, all filled with books that let a musk scent into the air. Hidden in a corner, with the travel books, was the perfect way to spend a calm day at work. The old antique store was on Main Street, however the busy life outside slowed down once you entered. The manager, an elder gentleman, gave you work after you got rid of a cursed object. Although the hunting life was behind you, a part of it remained with you were, since you had been dating an archangel for a couple of months now. It wasn’t too serious yet, but you hoped that one day it would be.

You stretched up, trying to put away a couple of books, as the doorbell sounded from the front of the store. You heard Mr. Everett greet whoever it was, and turned your focus back to the task at hand. You were so absorbed in your work, you didn’t hear the soft clicks of shoes against the old, scoffed wooden floors.

Keep reading

This isn't a drawing submission, but rather a timid little request?

Um, heeeey! Yeah, so basically, I am too shy to put this on my blog, because I am a very shy little person… But I know you ship Destiel, and I thought that maybe, maybe, you could post this on your blog, so that people might get to read it, even though I’m too awkward to post it myself. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but it would mean a lot if you wanted to. It’s a short fan fic about Dean and Cas’ first kiss :)

First kiss (Destiel)


Dean weighed the gun in his hand. It was the same gun he had carried with him for the major part of his life, but somehow, it felt heavier than ever. He loaded it slowly, one bullet at a time. He had spent so much of his life fighting, but he had never actually gone to war. He had lived through them, fought battles in them, but never intentionally approached a battlefield like this. This time, he was a soldier. When Castiel had asked him and Sam to join his army, he had been hesitant at first. Fighting in a full on, Lord of The Rings-kind of battle against an army of demons was not really his style. But when Cas pleaded, how could he possibly say no? It would probably be the death of him, as well as Sam and Cas, but he’d be damned if he was going to sit by and let them die alone.

“Dean?” Sam came out of the motel bathroom, carrying a dirty shirt in his hands. “You ready to leave?” Dean took a long look at his brother. Somehow, he seemed very young. When Dean thought about him, he imagined some kind of mixture of the little chubby twelve year old boy everyone called Sammy, and the man who he had grown to be. Now, as they were about to go to war, he had a hard time seeing anything else than that little boy, who was his responsibility.

“Yeah.” He said. “I’m ready.” Sam smiled, but it looked somewhat flat. Dean grabbed his duffel bag and headed out the door, towards the car. When he sat down in the driver’s seat, he let out a tired sigh. He wasn’t nervous or anxious. In fact, he felt quite empty. When Sam landed in the passenger’s seat, he turned the keys and let the well-known roar of the Impala’s motor fill the night.

They drove according to the instructions Cas had given them, to arrive at the assumed battlefield. When they stepped out of the car, they could see was a vast field covered in darkness, surrounded by an old forest. Here and there, they could see flashlights moving, and in the middle of the improvised camp, a fire was burning. There were figures moving around the campsite, and they could hear guns charging. Here and there, people were discussing in urgent tones. Far in the east, they could suspect a tiny shift in the colour of the sky. “If I have the correct information, they will arrive soon after sunrise”, Castiel had said the last time they spoke with him. Had it only been hours ago? It felt like days. “You better be ready.” However, the brothers had no idea what to be ready of.

“Dean! Sam!” They both looked up to see Cas walk out of some kind of improvised tent, made of tarpaulin and sticks. He seemed to glow, and there was fire in his eyes. Neither Sam nor Dean had seen him this excited in years. He looked determined. “You made it just in time. We’re going over the final tactics. I think we’re going to move company F to the west, so that they will get a better angle at…”

“Woah, Cas, how much people do you have?” Sam asked, stopping Castiel in his tracks.

“Well over a hundred, last I counted. The hunters have an incredible network.”

“Wow. Just… Wow.” Sam sounded astonished. Cas tilted his head a little and squinted at him, making Dean smile. That was something Cas did that he always had liked.

“What?” The angel sounded genuinely confused.

“I just… You seem to have a lot of experience with this, Cas.” Sam shrugged. Castiel smirked a little and looked fondly at him, like a father speaking to his small child.

“I am far older than you know, Sam. I have participated in more battles than you can imagine. Although, never one with as bad prospects as this one, I think.”

“Oh, well, that’s reassuring!” The sarcasm in Dean’s voice was heavy. He crossed his arms and looked at Cas.

“Yes, speaking of, I would like to speak with you, Dean.” Suddenly, Castiel sounded unsure. “Sam, a bunch of hunters arrived right before you did. They are behind the tent, and I would like them in your lines. Would you…”

“Yeah. Yes, of course.” Sam gave Dean a curious look, which he responded to with a surprised face.

Castiel put a hand on Dean’s overarm and led him away from the fire, into the darkness under some trees.

“What’s up, Cas?”

Dean noticed that his friend looked a bit nervous, while just as, if not more, determined as before. But the reply he got, he was not prepared for. Cas grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him towards his own body, kissing him softly but passionately. Dean was stunned, but not appalled. A feeling as of electricity moved through his body, and through the shock, all he could to was put his hands on Cas’ back and hold him as close as he possibly could. When Castiel pulled away, a feeling of emptiness spread through Dean.

“I did not want to die without doing that.” Cas said while looking a very surprised Dean in the eyes. He then turned around without awaiting a reply, walking back towards his army. He did his best to sound serious, but his voice wavered a bit at the end, showing excitement and nervousness. Dean stared at the back of his trench coat, unable to move or do anything else that stand there with his mouth half open, still feeling the electricity buzz through him. Now, he felt everything but empty.

“They are coming!” The cry echoed across the field, one of their scouts urging to battle. In the east, the sun had just rose over the horizon, spreading a golden light over the yellow grass of their battlefield. Dean woke up from his paralyzed state and rushed through the mass of people to get to the front line and find his position. Castiel led the mid front, with Dean on his left side and Sam on his right. Dean saw Sam’s head, half a foot over everyone else, and used it a guide through the lines of soldiers. He ended up to Cas’ immediate left, taking a stand in front of his troops. Cas gave him an unreadable look, but he didn’t say anything. Dean was relieved to not see any regret or shame in Castiel’s eyes. Had the situation been another, he would have called his expression for playful.

“Don’t you dare die on me now, Cas”, he said, just loud enough for the two of them to hear. “Don’t you dare.” Cas grinned happily at him. With a fire burning in his heart, Dean turned towards the approaching enemy. This was not going to be his final battle.

Thanks for reading! /TAH

anonymous asked:

just murder me with some good ol' angst with yatori if you can :) ps. you are my fav writer and you inspire me to improve on my writing so thank you for all the words you weave into amazing stories for me to read ❤️

oh my GOSH. THANK YOU SO MUCH *HUGS* I hope it continues to inspire you!! And please keep writing! :D

here’s some of That Angst™, as per your request!!

| send me characters and a prompt |

“a short story”

“Would you believe me if I said I can fit my whole fist in my mouth?”

Across the room, Yukine sighs.

“Why don’t you try? Might shut you up.”

Yato throws him an indignant glance, and Hiyori catches Yukine sticking his tongue out.

“I wasn’t asking you,” Yato huffs, turning his back on his shinki. “I was asking Hiyori.”

She covers her mouth with a hand, trying to hide a laugh at both of their expenses. Choking back her giggles, she says:

“Well—if anyone can do it, it’s you, Yato.”

Keep reading

People can’t be this dumb, right? I haven’t verified, but I think what’s happening here is the artist posted 2 different angles on ONE tattoo, and this genius assumed it’s his two arms next to each other with identical tattoos? Because that happens? What planet is this? I need a drink. Noting that, for once, I’m not calling this a “bad” tattoo… just pointing out the stupidity of the author.

mathamaniac  asked:

How would a wizard deal with arachnophobia? I never have the heart to squish spiders but still have a panic-response when I see them!

The wizardly way to deal with this is to chat with spiders until they no longer frighten you. :)

They are not the world’s most voluble conversationalists. Mostly what they have to say is “Hungry”, “gotta make a web”, “gotta hang out in the web”, “OH WOW I CAUGHT SOMETHING YAY!”, “Sorry, can’t talk, gotta wrap up what I caught”, “Mmmmm” (at dinnertime), “gotta take the web down and conserve my resources”, and (seasonally) “HEY PRETTY LADY / PRETTY GUY, LET’S DANCE / FUCK”.

But if you can get them past that — usually by persistence: wizards who specialize in insects learn persistence pretty early on — you will also hear “Whoops, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, you looked kinda like a tree from that angle”, “Oh come on, the wind blew me into your hair, do you think I wanted to be here? You are not remotely edible”, “You wouldn’t have a caterpillar on you, would you? I missed lunch”, “How do you get by with so few legs? I am so sorry for you”, “I am so not ready for sex yet”, and “Would you turn off that damn light?”, or alternately “Thank you for leaving the porch light on last night, best meal I’ve had in ages, I asked all my mates round and everybody made out like bandits.”

…Wizards aside, I once had a conversation rather like this with a driveway full of tarantulas (they would come out and bask on cool mornings because the driveway would store the sun’s heat overnight). The brown tarantula, early in the morning before things warm up enough for them to get active, is the most docile and sociable of creatures. They sit there and look at you with all their little eyes. You look at them with your two. Peaceful coexistence, until they start quietly creeping away to hide in the bushes.

(I also had a long talk some years ago with the giant Malaysian hissing cockroach up at the Museum of Natural History in NY, but I can’t discuss that because it was mostly about sex.)

If the shinigami worked as retail salesmen...

As requested by anon. :)

We already imagined what would happen if the espada worked as retail salesmen. Now it is time to do the same thing for the shinigami! If they worked in retail, what would they be like?

1. Yumichika

He does very well with beautiful customers. But he is not super great with anyone else.

Yumichika: Ah, I think a slightly darker color would enhance your natural beauty!

Yumichika: But as for you - nothing can save you. Go weep for your ugliness.

2. Ikkaku

He tries to share his clothing enthusiasm with the customers. Unfortunately, he doesn’t always choose the right angle.

Ikkaku: Wow! How did they manage to make all of these shirts look exactly the same?

Ikkaku: Isn’t that amazing? Doesn’t it make you want to buy them?


3. Yamamoto

He tends to act very offended if anyone dares ask for his help.

Yamamoto: Such bad customers, forcing the head employee to come out onto the floor.

Yamamoto: What is this department store coming to?

4. Unohana

She is extremely good at helping customers make decisions. Very, very quickly.

Unohana: I think you should try the red one.

Customer: Um…

Unohana: I think you should try the red one.

Customer: R-right away!

5. Sasakibe

He keeps getting mistaken for a store mannequin.


6. Soi Fon

She doesn’t have the best rapport with the customers, especially if anyone dares take a long time trying clothes on.

Soi Fon: Are you dead in there?

Soi Fon: Because it does NOT take ten minutes to put on a shirt!

7. Rose

He is perfect for those shoppers who wish that their shopping experience could be more like a fashion show.

Rose: Don’t just LEAVE the dressing room - leave it with flair and style!

8. Hinamori

She comes in even on her sick days to help out.

Manager: Um…are you sure you’re ready to be back at work?

Hinamori: Of course! I can’t leave my team down one player!

Manager: …you were in a coma for months.

Hinamori: I got over it!

9. Byakuya

He is always insistent that people accessorize.

Byakuya: Yes, yes the shirt is fine.

Byakuya: Now for the important part: picking a scarf.

Byakuya: And have you thought about putting something in your hair?

10. Hiyori

She gets suspended after her first day.

Hiyori: Well excuse me for thinking that someone who asks for five different sizes of the same shoe deserves to be whacked in the face with a flip-flop!

11. Urahara

He always manages to get people to buy a lot more than they were planning on buying.

Urahara: And then I got the guy - who remember just wanted some new socks - to buy the leather jacked and the safari hat and the boots!

Coworker: Um, how?

Urahara: Um…….sales magic?

12. Rukia

She’s really great with the, uh, petite customers.

Rukia: Trust me - just shop in juniors.

13. Komamura

He makes people feel beautiful in whatever they are wearing.

Komamura: That is a good look for you!

Komamura: You are rocking that color!

Komamura: Those spiky boots are definitely you!

14. Ichigo

He is slightly hampered by his complete lack of fashion sense.

Ichigo: Two sizes too small? No, I’m pretty sure that fits you.

Ichigo: And if you’re worried about your stomach showing, just wear another shirt underneath!

15. Matsumoto

She is perfect for the job in every way.

Matsumoto: Ah, another satisfied customer!

Manager: Are you the reason that person is walking about with four bags full of clothes while humming?

Matsumoto: Yup!

Manager: …I love you.

Unisex names, Crazy Exes, and other Gas-n-Sip Adventures

based on the “You’re a store clerk and oh shit I just spotted my ex please let me hide behind your desk-thing” prompt from this post

The check out guy at the gas-n-sip is really fucking cute. Like please-sit-in-my-lap attractive, and Dean can’t really focus on buying that six pack right about now, cus seriously he didn’t know that shade of blue even existed.

Dean is this close to asking for blue eye’s number when Aaron turns around the corner of the closest aisle and every alarm bell in Dean’s brain goes hay-wire screaming “CODE RED! CODE RED!

“Shit shit shit” Without even thinking about it Dean jumps over the cashier counter and ducks out of sight.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I remember a while back, you wrote that game developers sometimes find it difficult to "turn off" the game developer side when they try to play games for fun, on the off chance that they do. So taking that into consideration, are there features that game developers look for or get excited about when they play games that the regular gamer either doesn't care about or wouldn't notice?

There’s usually two classes of features that I notice that regular gamers don’t - stuff that’s too technical in nature, or stuff that they lack the context to appreciate such as polish tasks that most teams would not prioritize. Here are a few recent examples of some of the things that I thought were impressive.

#1. Nathan Drake and the Storytelling Interruption

There’s a lot of polish in Uncharted 4, but the thing that stuck out most to me as something that most players would probably never notice. The jeep gameplay in itself was a marvel - it handled well, drove well, and they even put in tons of little flourishes like Drake looking over his shoulder when backing it up, the properly-working brake and reverse tail lights, the mud and wheel tracks, and so on. Each of these little details was quite impressive to me, but what really took the cake was this little thing that was almost a throwaway. During the chapter in Madagascar, we join Drake, his brother, and Sully in the jeep as they drive around looking for pirate treasure. During the scenario, the gang has conversations and tell stories in the jeep. Banter is a pretty ordinary thing, but what floored me was when I got out of the jeep to examine a point of interest on the map, and returned to it. Sully had been in the middle of a story about something, but I expected that the story thread was interrupted and I was inwardly lamenting the loss of the content… And then Drake said “So Sully, you were saying?”

And then Sully resumed his story. The engineers had to construct a companion ambient banter system, and they made it capable of recognizing that it had been interrupted, remembering where it had stopped, and then resuming where it had left off. Not to mention the additional assets required - voiced lines and such. And all of that for what would amount to, at most, a situation that would once or twice to a player who wouldn’t be paying attention to it anyway.  I couldn’t help but think, “Wow, that’s some serious attention to polish”

#2. Anime for the sake of Anime

Guilty Gear Xrd’s move to 3D was already super impressive. Their visuals were an amazing blend between tech and art, producing what looked like hand-drawn anime, but with 3D models. In order to accomplish this, it required a lot of actual wizardry in the collaboration between the engineers and the artists - making it look the way it did required many of the character artists to hand-edit the normals on the textures in order to make them look right from the viewing angles. Further than that, the animators and the engineers took a 60 frames-per-second game and purposely chopped some of the frames out in order to make it look more like a 24 frames-per-second anime.

#3: Hearthstone’s User Experience

Many of you have probably played Hearthstone. It’s a fairly simple online collectible card game that has some of the most amazingly well-designed User Experience in existence. “Wait, what? Sure it feels good, but it didn’t seem that great to me,” you might say. If you look at it more carefully, however, the difference is clear. Nothing in that same space feels remotely as good as Hearthstone does. If you look at the way the game UI is designed, everything looks and behaves as if it were physically real. Most of the time UI doesn’t do that - it’s usually some kind of overlay with some kind of fancy animation or something, but it doesn’t feel real. It’s just sort of… there. But if you start examining Hearthstone’s UI, you’ll start seeing the details - the cards have shadows when you hold them up to pick one. You can see the opponent choosing cards from their hand. When a card is placed on the board, there’s a satisfying little flick and the motion follows several different levels of eye-pleasing arcs in motion. Maybe you noticed how the sound effects match up to the frame with the animations. You might not have noticed how there’s a little poof of dust, along with a small screen shake whenever a new card is placed, or how higher amounts of damage dealt by a minion has larger, heavier hitting sounds and causes additional screen shake. All of these details come together to form a really cohesive experience, and it makes the game feel real, even though it’s not a physical card game. 

So yeah… these are a couple of examples of features I was really impressed by that I haven’t heard a lot of gamers talk about. Hopefully you can see why I found them impressive.