A man sneezes while five other men are talking over him. You know exactly which one sneezed.
Your brain is now unsure if someone has actually said this or if you can hear their voice in your head.
There is a cult for an editor. We are all members of said cult. We all bring our hands together above our heads. We worship this editor. PE/\KE. SPE/\K. P E /\ K E S P E /\ K
There is an infinite number of Adams.
You click on a video that is 10 minutes long. You black out and come to hours later, watching a different, but similar video.
You are called a shizno and you feel insulted. You do not know what this word means, but you are insulted.
All your money is disappearing. You don’t know where it’s going, nor do you remember spending it, but merchandise keeps showing up on your doorstep. You have so much merchandise. Your room is covered with so many posters that they cover the windows. No way in. No way out. You only wear merchandise now.
One man is constantly constantly shirtless and this is not questioned.
You wanted to watch a silly show about soldiers in a canyon. You didn’t know what you were signing up for. It wasn’t this. Anything but this.
There are two pairs of Joel and Adams and no one ever knows which one a person is referring to.
There are screencaps of tweets on tumblr before the staff has even tweeted it.
Another hypothetical situation has been discussed. They must have hundreds of millions of dollars at this point.
A man is impregnated with an alien child, but this is fine. This is perfectly normal. This child grows up and plays on the basketball team. This is perfectly normal.
You feel the strange compulsion to add “as dicks” to everything you say.
There have been terrible, terrible things done For The Kids.
For some reason the dynamite is kind.
Certain state names make you cry.
One man is simultaneously the dumbest and smartest person alive. You do not question this.
A different man is at once a murderous dark god, a loving husband, and a gigantic nerd. This, too, is never questioned.
There are four of the exact same person. Not cloned, however. The clones are a different story we must never speak of.
Everything is also a gun.
You must pick a team in the great battle of red versus blue. Friendships have been ruined over picking the wrong team. There is no remaining neutral.
No one thinks twice about giving a child access to weapon gun hybrids, nor do they reconsider letting them fight the monsters of the world. Clearly, a man has made many, many mistakes.
You do not know who this drunk man declaring that he is the cheese master is, but you accept his mastery of cheese.
We wonder why we’re here. We see it as one of life’s greatest mysteries.
I’m not better, okay? I’m not better! And I keep waiting for someone to figure that out, and - they don’t! I mean, of course they don’t. ‘Cause as long as I say the right things and I act the right way, they’re happy because that means they cured me, right?