Wonderland Part 5 (Dean)
A/N: I’m really loving writing this !! what do you guys think?
Ps I kind of feel like this part didn’t turn out the way I thought, I’m super tired right now but…apologies in advance!
Pairings: Punk! Dean Winchester x Reader
Warnings: Mentions of abuse, angst, a little fluff, swearing?
Word Count: 1382
Summary: Dean’s a quiet boy at school you’ve barely ever spoken to but what happens when you accidentally grab his textbook instead of yours?
I’m Sorry – Gabe
Please talk to me – Gabe
Come over after school – Gabe
I looked at the three new text messages with mixed feelings, a swirl of uneasiness forming in the pit of my stomach. I hadn’t spoken to him since the party two days ago and he hadn’t been at school either; I thought that not seeing him would help but it had only served to heighten my anxiety. He had never been so violent before, never left a mark like this – even if it wasn’t on purpose.
I gingerly lifted my hand to my mouth, feeling the raised area where it had split; the swelling had gone down significantly but it was still tender to the touch, smiling and laughing practically impossible.
I opened up a new message, Gabe’s name above it but I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to say to him, I’m sorry wasn’t going to be enough this time; I wasn’t really sure what was enough anymore. It didn’t feel like we were in a relationship, more like we were staying out of familiarity, appeasing our loneliness by lingering together. All intimacy was long gone, all love abandoned.
With a sigh I closed my messages, shoving my phone roughly back into my jeans pocket, deciding that I would deal with it later.
“Looking at the messages again?”
I turned at the sound of Anna’s voice, her wide eyes filled with wavering concern, her usual smile set in a frown.
“He sent more” I replied tightly, “Wants me to come over after school lets out”
“Are you going to?”
“I’m not sure yet A, I don’t know what to do”
“Just do whatever is going to make you happy y/n and if that’s not Gabe anymore than…”
“If I break up with him who knows how he’ll react”
“Don’t worry about how he’s going to react, that’ll be his problem not yours”
“I guess your right”
“Of course I am” She stated with a smirk, “I’m always right”
Classes passed by at a crawl, my mind completely occupied by thoughts of this afternoon; what was I going to say to him? Should I risk going over to his place when I do break up with him? I chewed nervously on my bottom lip, barely paying attention to anything the teachers were saying.
It wasn’t until English Lit that I was broken from my trance. Dean slumped into the chair Gabe usually occupied, his long arm slung over the back of the chair, a grin plastered onto his face.
Anna looked suspiciously over towards us, her eyebrows raised in question; I shrugged my shoulders, turning back towards him.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Getting ready for class?”
“No I mean sitting there”
“Better place to work on our project right?”
“How do you know were – “
My sentence was cut short as Miss Bradbury began speaking, her voice sweet and chipper.
“Alrighty guys!” She chirped, “We have the rest of this week and a few days after the weekend to finish off those essays; we’ll be using class time today to work on them some more. And come on guys don’t just ask the boring stuff, I want you to really get to know each other”
After she had finished speaking the class began chatting away once again, I vaguely heard Anna call out for Miss Bradbury – probably to let her know about her lack of partner – but my eyes stayed focused on Dean.
“You enjoyed that didn’t you?” I asked.
“I won’t lie that was a total fluke”
“Luck must be on your side Dean”
“It’s not on yours however it seems” His eyes flicked down to my busted lip, “Are you going to tell me what happened or are you still keeping it a secret?”
“Not really part of our project now is it?”
“Y/n” He frowned, “I know that whatever happened it wasn’t an accident and you wouldn’t have done that yourself”
“I’ll make you a deal Dean, you tell me why you don’t ever talk about your Mother and I’ll tell you what really happened with my lip”.
I watched as his shoulders tensed over my words, his jaw flexing as it tightened; for a second I thought I may have crossed a line, that he was just going to shut down and never talk to me again, but after another long moment of silence he spoke.
“Alright I’ll tell you; I was four when my parents got divorced…Dad he worked too much and every moment he wasn’t working he was drinking, Mum got fed up with it one day and left, took my baby brother with her, he was only six months old at the time” He paused, taking a deep breath, “I didn’t really understand what was happening but I didn’t want to leave Dad, you know I looked up to him, he was my role model; anyway they came up with an agreement, I’d stay here and Sam would go with Mum”
“Dean…I’m sorry that sounds awful”
“Yeah well, not much I can do about it now”
“Do you speak to her often? To your brother?”
“Last phone call I had from her was over three years ago and Sammy…He doesn’t know me, so I don’t really expect him to call or anything”
“But his your brother!” I exclaimed, my heart aching for him.
“I’m sure his got amazing people in his life y/n, he doesn’t need me”
“You don’t know that, he probably feels the exact same way”
“Your turn y/n” He said suddenly, ending the conversation where it was.
I knew he was probably desperate to change the subject; I was still curious but left it alone, keeping up with my end of the deal.
“Gabe…he drinks too much sometimes and well…his temper isn’t always…in check”
“So he did this to you?” Dean asked; a hint of anger to his tone.
“He didn’t mean to” I started to defend, “At least he says he never means to”
“His hurt you before?”
“No no! Not really…I mean his shoved me pretty hard but this was the first time I got…you know a mark”
“And that makes it okay?!” He all but growled, his bright eyes darkening slightly.
“Well no…I’m dealing with it okay?”
“Give me your phone” I stared at him with my mouth open.
“Y/n your phone”
I slid the device out of my pocket, unlocking the screen before handing it over; I wasn’t sure what he was going to do but I trusted him well enough. After a few minutes of taping he handed it back.
“What did you do?”
“I put my number in there…if you need help just call me okay?”
“Are you saying were friends now?” I teased, smiling as best I could.
“Why not” He responded, “You’re not so bad after all”
As I walked towards my car after school I opened up a new message, typing Gabe’s name into the top. It was probably along the lines of bitchy, but I couldn’t forgive him this time, couldn’t let him hurt me anymore.
It’s over Gabe…sorry
I felt the small prickling of anxiety spark up again as I thought about his reply, but also some relief; I guess this was a long time coming and deep down I knew it was going to end this way. Gabe wasn’t the same person he had been when we first met, his whole demeanour changing as fast as I could blink my eyes. It was time for a fresh start.
After sending the message I glanced around the emptying car park, spotting the black car over the other side, windows rolled down and a thin trail of smoke floating up into the air. With my heart hammering against my chest cavity I opened a new message, my finger pausing as I thought about what to write; after a moment I sent it, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth as I waited.
Got room for one more?
I only had to wait a few seconds before my phone chimed, Dean’s name appearing on the screen.
Passenger’s side is open – Dean
I jumped back out of my car, slowly making my way over towards him, the slight flutter in my stomach both unusual and welcome.