what the plank

anonymous asked:

who is your favourite character in Greek literature?

dionysus in the bacchae every time hands down this decision is so easy its kind of embarrassing actually like @sophocles @aeschylus get on this level

runners-up in no particular order

  • medea in the medea, like come on the agon? the women of corinth speech? the hero morality thing? i’ve seen like four different productions of this play and they all sucked because you need someone to get it and play her properly and that’s so fucking hard to do
  • jason in the argonautica, fuckboy supreme
  • antigone, like fun fact the antigone was the first piece of greek lit i ever studied and by this point i own maybe four different translations? (including the one i stole from my school classics department lmao) and like five different reinterpretations of it? and i still don’t like antigone! she’s the sort of person i would fucking hate to hang out with! i’ve read the play like four hundred times and seen four or five productions and i still. do. not. like. her. and yet! and yet i still own like eight different versions of her play and that’s why she makes it onto this list because you don’t like her but you do love her  
  • achilles like i hate everything about him! i hate his terrible decisions and his massive murderous hissy fits and the way he expresses his emotions by killing people and yelling at rivers and his big dumb shield and mostly i hate the way i dont hate him not even close not even a little bit not even at all 
  • orestes in euripides’ orestes. lol what a plank

Planking is pain, I know. But I love it. It’s such a good test of strength, not only physical but mental too. It’s so easy just to drop and say “I can’t go on”. However, over the week, the plank has been my best friend as I have only seen my resistance grow. Before I could muster about 30secs, yet today for the first time I managed 90secs. That’s what I call progress.

RFA As A Friend

So this four am hc was gathering dust in my drafts so Imma post it. IDK  if there’s spoilers read with caution. This is what the RFA would be like as a best friend, told by someone who was half asleep. 


- This kiddo’s gonna try so hard

- Probably yandere as a friend too

- He better be yo BFF in snapchat, make it facebook official, better tag him in your ig bio

- Keeps you awake till the unholy hours of night with games

- Unhealthy influence 3/10 IGN but yknow he tries so hard he can get 8/10


- He’s still gonna be thirsty AF for compliments

- Whines to you about being single all the time pls shut up 

- That one friend who needs to judge all yo potential man/woman

- Lowkey a living student athlete meme



- The one responsible friend ™

- But pure asf pls protect her from the harsh world


- That one girl who could be gorg if she tried but but prefers going to cafes and reading

- Jk shes gorgeous either way im straight, so why do i love her sm



- Funds everything

- Good listener™

- Doesn’t even know how to mute a call so you know he’s actually listening

- Can you shush about your cat with a victorian (Idk if its victorian lmao) name I want to actually discuss something




- Too many memes 

- Sends you outdated ones just to piss you off

- Does outdated trends to piss you off

- Nearly gets you killed with his crazy driving

- Why do you even stick around him



- Probably used as an escapegoat (scapegoat? scapegoat.)

- Comfort levels are insane

- Takes like five hours for him to get his hair dyed 

- Like his blue hair can’t be natural is he an anime charac- OHHHHH

- You can be his service dog woof woof wait no not like that you pervs

- V there’s a wall– *thunk*   … I warned you. You can’t say anything. I warned you.


- Lil moody shiet 

- Hoards candy from those halloween sales

- The kind of guy to buy candy for himself on valentines

- Friend that ignores you 60% of the time

- Not sure if you’re even friends


Hi Starz!

Fan here. I thought I would help out with some market research. Here goes. 1. Things fans care about: Trailers Clips. Stills. BTS pics. Posters and other promo art. Actual cast members. Jamie and Claire. New characters Interviews with the cast about the show. Logistical information, like say a premiere date. Photoshoots (can be in civvies, we’re not picky) Plots Characters Really anything show/story related, basically. 2. Things this fan doesn’t care about: Squats Chairs Birds Planks What the inside of the gym looks like. Photos of hotels I will never be able to afford. Ships Ropes Sunsets Loaner Audis People who are not affiliated with the production. There’s a lot of competition for my time out there. What more do I have to do to tell you I want to give you my loyalty? But I’m one more kettlebell photo away from abandoning ship, I STG. Side note to production: When you put a gag order on the two characters everyone came to your show for, it starts to make their actors look apathetic and eventually look like huge jerks.) (Side note to those actors: Literally no one is Team Leghair. Stop trying to make it happen.) You’re welcome!

Originally posted by redpyrofox

Father!Ahkmenrah X Daughter!Reader: Bargaining

I don’t own the picture, and I don’t own Night at the Museum.  Other than that, enjoy!

“Daddy!”  Your tiny legs carried you over the marble floors as you ran to your father and his brother.  “Uncle Kah!”  They turned just as you threw yourself at your dad’s knees.  He stooped down and picked you up, balancing you on his hip.

“Hi sweetie,” Ahkmenrah greeted you as you grinned up at him. 

“Hi daddy!”  You chirped.  “Hi Uncle Kah!  Kahmunrah gave you a small smile.

“Hello, Y/n.  What have you been up to today?”

“I went ‘sploring!”  You said proudly. 

“Really?  Did you find anything interesting?”  Your dad asked.  You nodded enthusiastically.

“I found a metal plank!”  You said.  Ahkmenrah and Kahmunrah exchanged amused glances with each other.

“Did you?  And what did this plank look like?”

“It was yellow, and it had tiny boxes on it.”  Ahkmenrah bounced you as he listened to your story, but Kahmunrah had stiffened.

“Really?”  Where did you find it?”  You tried to think.

“Oh yeah!”  You remembered with a gasp.  “It was…it…was…”  You trailed off as you lost your train of thought.

“Well it sounds to me like you found an artifact.”  Ahkmenrah told you. 

“An artifact?”  You asked.  “What’s that?”

“Our father used to tell us stories of a magical tablet that could bring loved ones back to life.  He always told us it was hidden somewhere in the palace, and whoever found it would be blessed with eternal life.  I never thought it might actually have been true, though.” He exchanged a look with his brother. 

“Can we look for it daddy?”  You asked.  He hesitated.  “Pleeeeeaaaaase?”  He looked at his brother and sighed in defeat. 

“Would you like to accompany us on our adventure, Kahmunrah?”

“It would be my pleasure.”  Ahkmenrah set you down and you grabbed his hand, letting you lead him around the palace.  Kahmunrah followed the two of you with suspicious look on his face.


“We’ve been looking for a very long time now, Y/N.  It’s almost time for your bedtime.”  Your father told you as you walked through the dim halls with Kahmunrah following behind. 

“Just one more hallway.  Please daddy?”  You looked up at him your big doe eyes, and Ahkmenrah sighed in defeat.

“Fine.  One more hallway.  But then it’s bedtime for you, young lady.”  You nodded and let go off his hand, zigzagging as you checked each room.  You didn’t find anything until you made it to the last room.  You looked in the doorway, and a flash of gold caught your eye.

“Daddy, Uncle Kah!  I found it!”  Footsteps approached, and your dad and uncle appeared in the doorway.  They stared at the tablet in awe.  Ahkmenrah stepped towards it and lifted a hand.  His fingertips trailed across the surface.

“It’ real…”  He breathed.  “By Ra, it’s real.”  He laughed softly.  He gently lifted it from its place on the wall, and turned around.  “Kah—” He stopped as the blood drained from his face.  Kahmunrah had grabbed both of your tiny wrists in one hand and had them pinned behind your back.  The other hand held a tiny dagger, positioned dangerously close to your little throat.  “What do you think you’re doing?”  Ahkmenrah asked when his voice finally returned.

“The Tablet.  Now.”  Kahmunrah snarled.   Your eyes were filled with tears as you stood in your uncle’s grasp, petrified.

“But why—”

“Just give me the tablet!”  He snapped as he pressed the dagger against your skin.

“Daddy,” You whimpered.  Ahkmenrah’s heart broke when he heard the fear in your voice.

“Everything’s going to be fine, Y/N.”  He reassured you.

“Not if you don’t hurry up and make a decision, brother.  Now give me the Tablet, or else my dear niece pays a visit to her grandparents.”

“Alright!”  Ahkmenrah shouted.  “Take it!  Just don’t hurt Y/N!”  Kahmunrah’s face split into a feral grin.

“Slide it over.”  Ahkmenrah set the Tablet on the floor and kicked it over.  It skidded to a stop next to your feet.  Kahmunrah snatched it up and shoved your forward.  He raced out of the room just as you crashed into your dad’s chest.  You sobbed as your tiny hands clutched handfuls of his tunic.

“Shh,” Your father tried to soothe you.  “You’re safe now.  He won’t hurt you again, I promise.”  You gulped and nodded as he lifted you up.  After telling the guards to keep an eye out for the Tablet and Kahmunrah, he took you back to your shared room and tucked you into your bed.  He turned to get into his own bed but was stopped when your tiny hand grabbed his.

                “I’m scared,” You whimpered.  “Don’t leave me alone!”  He nodded, and after a moment picked you up and carried you to his bed, laying you down on one side and getting into the other.  “You can sleep.  I’m right here.”  He told you.  You nodded and yawned.  Now that all of the adrenaline left your system, you were suddenly exhausted.  Within minutes you were asleep.  Ahkmenrah kissed the top of your head and began to fall asleep.  “I promised your mom I’d protect you, and that’s what I’ll do.  I promise.”

Thanks to the anon for requesting this one!

          the princess?  or – rather, a princess would be more accurate, then again the chances of him seeing the similarities being his minds way of missing home is rather.. high.  ( &&  now only does it hit him that, as home as this place might feel, it’s not. )  royalty or not, link isn’t one to be rude, even as lost as he’s ended up. 

          as such, he offers the lady a hand of assistance, offering to take what seemed to be planks of wood - appearing to lean towards the heavier side of things - hands resting on the underside  &&  lifting slightly, removing some weight.    /   @regintus

In the Heart of the Ocean

Written for the Critical Role Reverse Bang!

Art is by the magnificent @thegoldenlocks. Mermaids? Friendship being magic? An excuse to write tough but angsty sailor!Percy? I never stood a chance. 

Title: In the Heart of the Ocean

Words: 5070

No warnings apply. 

Summary: The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea. Percival de Rolo had had enough of the first, had run dry of the second, and was only recently experiencing the full brunt of the third. 

read on AO3

Bad news on the horizon. The call came down from the crow’s nest of the Sea Nymph as black storm clouds rolled across the sky, sizzling with lightning. The storm had been waiting for them to meet it all day, pacing on the edge where the sea met the sky. It stretched from one end of the horizon to the other, like a wave arching over the ship.

When pressed to go around the storm, Captain Bane had only smiled and said, “She’s weathered worse.”

She and I both, Percy thought, as the rope to the main sail opened cut and callous in his palms. His arms ached from pulling the same as they had his first day on deck, but at least now he could bear it better. The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea. Percival de Rolo had had enough of the first, had run dry of the second, and was only recently experiencing the full brunt of the third.

A wave slammed against the port side hull and he shifted his weight to account for the accompanying rock of the deck beneath his feet. A year ago that would have sent him flying. A lot can change in a year.

Keep reading

He once told me that his dreams are deep in the woods with water nearby to fish in.
Where nature fulfills what the city cannot.
Where nature remembers what the city forgot.
Wooden planks held up by nails and stone.
A fire kept burning so he never grows cold.
He once told me that his dreams are deep in the woods with water nearby to fish in…
I just hope I’ll be there with him.

August 2016 Positivity Challenge: Day 1 - Princess

A/N: Here’s a little daddy!Killian one-shot for the first day of #31ouatpositivity. Also in this fic, Robin is totally alive and OQ is a go.


“Daddy! Daddy!”

Killian knelt down on one knee with outstretched arms, ready to embrace the little girl running toward him as soon as he came through the door.

“And how are you, my duckling?” He caught her as her socked feet slipped on the wooden floor and she fell into him, making her squeal as he lifted her and raised her shirt to blow a raspberry against her tummy.

“Eek! Daddy, lemme go! You’re not s’posed to do that to a princess!”

Never able to defy her pout, Killian released his struggling daughter, who proceeded to smooth out her skirt. Upon hearing the two, Emma peeked around the doorway from the next room, smirking as she watched them.

“My deepest apologies, Princess,” he stood and bowed with an exaggerated gesture, going along with her game. “I was led to believe that raspberries were her majesty’s favorite. A simple misunderstanding. Please grant me your pardon?”

“Hmmm…” She furrowed her brow in thought for a moment, then waved her hand to dismiss her father’s plea. “Nope!”

“Ah, I see. What shall my sentence be, then?”

“Umm…You gotta walk the plank now,” she decided, crossing her arms and lifting her chin authoritatively.

“Aye, as you wish, your highness. As a matter of fact,” smiling, he glanced up at his wife, gave her a quick wink, and continued, looking back at his daughter, “I know just the plank! What say you, your mother, and I get something to eat at Granny’s for my final meal, and then we’ll ride in her royal yellow coach to The Jolly?”

He watched her contemplate the idea and nod her head in approval. “Okay!”

“Okay.” Offering her his hook, which she wrapped her small fingers around with a grin, he led their little one outside. Emma followed, snatching her keys from the corner table and pulling the door closed behind her, and they started on their way.

The trio stopped by Regina’s to see if Henry was free to join them (“One last dinner at sea before the princess sends me to my doom in the mysterious fathoms below. How about it, lad?”), and he happily accepted the invitation since Regina had plans for a date with Robin that night anyway and Roland was out exploring with Little John. Picking up grilled cheese sandwiches and lots of onion rings from the diner, with coffees for Killian and Emma and chocolate milks for her highness and Henry, the four of them went to the docks.

With the picnic in front of them to enjoy and the all-consuming laughter ringing out from their places on the ship, Killian’s punishment was soon forgotten as they sat together on the deck of The Jolly, long into the night.