what the hell is this couple called

I’ve had a couple of drinks tonight but the X-men? I feel like I’m on a first-name basis with all of them. Like Scott? Bobby? Logan? Jean? Kurt? Hell, I’ll even call Northstar JP. But for some reason my brain won’t let me be on a first name basis with Gambit or Rogue… Like who tf are Remy and Anna-Marie? Shit, I had to look up what Rogue’s name even was to make this post.

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

I’ve been seeing a man in my backyard for the past two nights

Story by reddit user Opinionson

To start I need to give some background:

I am a male who lives in relatively nice neighborhood

It’s your average small town run of the mill suburbs area with not a lot of people.

I am a college kid who’s home on break while my parents have gone away which doesn’t help at all.

I have a two story house

I do not have gun nor do I have any real weapons other than kitchen knives

I am not on any medication and I have no record of schizophrenia or any other mental illnesses

I barely have any relationships with my neighbors most of whom are elderly and the rest I have minimal contact with

I do not have any people in my neighborhood (that I know of) who have reasons to attack or harm me

Now, let’s get into what has been happening. About two nights ago I woke up very late in the night and I went to the bathroom to go take a shit. Now, my second story bathroom has a window that can see the entirety of my backyard. Directly behind it is a cul de sac which you can see directly into. There is a group of trees and pile of rocks and mulch that divides it. Usually I can see everything in my backroom without turning on my because lights from my neighbor’s house dimly lights the room.

Keep reading

RWBY characters rated by how much they probably swear
  • Ruby Rose: thinks it's really bad to say hell 1/10
  • Weiss Schnee: wants to be a "lady" but also likes calling her brother Shitley 2/10
  • Blake Belladonna: her favorite word is fuck but she doesn't ever swear around adults 8/10
  • Yang Xiao Long: swears at her dad 9/10
  • Jaune Arc: said shit a couple of times 2/10
  • Nora Valkyrie: only swears during combat 4/10
  • Pyrrah Nikos: never learned the art of swearing 0/10
  • Lie Ren: doesn't swear a lot, but when he does, he goes hard 7/10
  • Penny Polendina: has mistakenly repeated swear words when she didn't know what they meant 1/10
  • Taiyang Xiao Long: tried to stop swearing when he had kids but couldn't do it 6/10
  • Qrow Branwen: every other goddamn motherfucking word bitch 14/10
My Way - Chapter 01

Description: Jungkook doesn’t appreciate your boyfriend’s insistence that he stop sleeping with you and he knows just how to prove that you like it his way.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut, some underlying angst

Word Count: 9,324

Warnings: Fuckboy!Jungkook, Dom!Jungkook, infidelity, rough sex, thigh riding, very light breath play, gratuitous and shamelessly self-indulgent bragging via sext

Keep reading

panic! albums

a fever you can’t sweat out: woo sex! we are not even 18 but long words let’s fuck!

pretty odd: we are gay. so much gay. hippies and flowers! hey ryden is so real like what ?

vices and virtues: fuck you ryan i have sarah but i still miss you come back.

too weird to live too rare to die: ryan who? i can’t hear you ryan i have sarah. (still misses him tho)

death of a bachelor: frank sinatra woot woot! i love my wife sarah but i just thought of ryan so i could like write a couple song about him

conclusion: next album will be called “ryan ross”

Dad Pun Sentence Starters

Send one to my Muse, or alternatively send  👍and my Muse will say one to you!

“What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”
“Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.”
“A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.’”
“Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!”
“How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!”
“Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.”
“I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.”
“How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.”
“Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.”
“'Wow, you’re a fart smella…I mean smart fella!”
“I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!”
“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
“Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.”
“What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.”
“How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.”
“Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.”
“I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.”
“Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.”
“How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.”
“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
“Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.”
“Don’t call me later, call me Dad.”
“What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant”
“Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.”
“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.”
“Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.”
“What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.”
“I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.”
“The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.”
“This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.”
“5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.”
“Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?”“
"What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.”
“What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.”
“I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.”
“To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.”
“The rotation of earth really makes my day.”
“I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.”
“What’s brown and sticky? A stick.”
“I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!”
“Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.”
“Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.”
“A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.”
“I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.”
“Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.”
“I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.”
“People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.”

anonymous asked:

I need the story of the Underground Shakespearian Ring

Okay, so the school I went to for 9th grade had this really bizarre grading setup that I still don’t understand- for some reason, instead of the teachers writing up and grading tests and exams and the like, all the work was sent to an unknown third party for them to grade??? It made no sense.

Now, for the most part, the school had decent teachers, and they would just teach the curriculum correctly and then you wouldn’t run into problems with the grading. My English teacher was not one of those teachers.

So like, she hated me pretty early on- she was my homeroom teacher and thought it was disrespectful that I slept in homeroom in the mornings (I was on sleeping pills and they never wore off completely until around 10am), I never had the vocab homework in on time (someone kept breaking into my locker and stealing my vocab books I had to buy a new one like five times), she thought it was “inherently pessimistic and stuck up” when she caught me reading a book called ‘Ninth Grade Slays’ (it was about vampires, not her?), and during our Greek Mythology unit I kept correcting her about the name pronunciations of the gods (she pronounced Hephaestus as Hepatitis one time holy shit). 

Anyway, her feelings on me aside, her teaching skills were shoddy at best. But I had had way worse teachers, so had the rest of the class, and Greek myths are pretty straight-up in what’s going on, so no one really had trouble with the third-party tests.

Then we get to the Romeo and Juliet unit.

Now, fun fact: Shakespeare has always come pretty easily to me. Like, to the point where I sometimes forget/fail to understand that other people have an incredibly hard time translating his works. (I told this whole story to my friends in the school I went to for 10th/11th/12th grade and when the drama department put on ‘Midsummers Night Dream’ one year, more than half the cast tried to get me to translate their scripts and monologues for them lmao).

So, anyway, I’m just a girl, reading Romeo and Juliet and digging how it’s going…and then the teacher starts ‘translating’ it.

Um.

I cannot sift through all the bullshit this woman was spewing, but let’s just say that my favorite part is during Romeo’s spew about Rosaline, there’s one part where he says something like ‘with cupid’s arrow/she hath diane’s will’, and the teacher was taking this to mean Rosaline was a Super Lesbian who was breaking the law or something and running away with her lover Diane, which would be a rad storyline, sure, but like…I’m just raising my hand like “Um Ma’am, Diana is the Roman goddess of chastity. What Romeo meant is that she told him she’s sworn off love and is probably becoming a nun?” and this woman just got. So angry. Like, excuse me, you are a student, you’re here to learn, so you clearly don’t know anything about this (I read Romeo and Juliet for the first time in like preschool whoops). Anyway, she continues on making up her own plot to the play, and I…well I was basically Hermione Fucking Granger at this point I couldn’t just sit there and listen to someone be this wrong about something omfg??? She just got angrier and angrier and stopped calling on me after a while.

So for a couple lessons I’m just left to seethe quietly, but one day after class this girl I knew since grade school came up to me and was like “Could you…? Tell me what the hell we’re supposed to be learning?” and I didn’t even like her but I liked the validation of being someone’s Chosen Teacher so I wrote out a summary for her of everything we had covered so far so she could actually write a comprehendible essay for our homework that night.

But THEN the during the class when we got our essays back, she made a HUGE DEAL, like ‘oh Molly, it wasn’t bad enough that you’ve been failing this course material, now you have to drag your friends into it by trying to re-write the play?’ (l m a o). Like this bitch had literally tried to fight me on ‘Paris is the guy Juliet’s father wants her to marry’ and she didn’t even put a grade on my essay where I said the play only ended in tragedy because of how young and naïve the kids were, that if they had taken a breather and thought things through it probably would’ve been fine (it was a damn good essay and I stand by it). But anyway, she’s trying to make me out to my classmate’s as someone who’s trying to sabotage their education for laughs.

This backfired on her.

See, it dawned on people one by one, that she was only teaching the wrong material -> so they wouldn’t know the right material -> so when they eventually would take the exams they would only have her crazy answers -> which the third party graders wouldn’t know about -> everyone fails this course that’s like half the overall grade of the year.

Most students consider that a problem.

So suddenly the class has decided I’m the fucking Shakespeare Whisperer or something, and one by one start begging me for help. At first I was confused, because as I said, it’s so easy for me that I didn’t realize literally the entire class was lost out of their asses here. omfg. So I was really getting hassled here but I didn’t want my entire class to fail you know???? So I started meeting with people during study halls or texting them after school so they knew what was going on. And then they started telling people in this teacher’s other classes, including upperclassmen who were lost as fuck, so this was quickly spiraling out of control on my end, but overall people were really starting to understand the plays better!! So I was feeling really great.

But then, the teacher noticed that none of the homework getting handed in to her matched up with her crazy translations, and knew I was the sole person to blame (naturally). She literally tried to get me suspended over this, she went to the school’s disciplinarian!

Note: This guy, Mr. C, knew I was a God damn angel- my science class was off the charts, inappropriately awful, so every time one of our science teacher’s wanted to give the entire class detention, instead of calling Mr. C up to the class room as was the rule, they’d send me down to get him so he’d know to write up every student except for me. So when my English teacher dragged me in there he was looking her like “What on Earth could this girl have possibly done to piss you off?” 😂😂

And when she explained he looked at her for a very long moment, glanced at me with a signature ‘Office’ Reaction Face™ , turned back to her and was like “You want her suspended…for starting a study group?” and I was CHOKING.

So that really pissed her off and they started fighting and this was a very overworked and Done man so at some point he gave up and was like “I’m not suspending her but fine we can put a ban on the study group if you leave my office” omfg. So all the other students get notified and now they’re back to freaking out about the upcoming exams.

So like two days later, I’m at lunch, complaining about this to one of my friends who had a different English teacher and thus no problem, and I’m on this whole angry rant (Because I’m pissed, a bunch of kid’s grades are gonna get fucked up because of this! They just wanted to do well! I just wanted to help them!) and my friends staring at me quietly the whole time and when I finish I’m like “What?” and she’s just like “…Molly did you literally start up Dumbledore’s Army in our fucking school?” and I died on scene.

But then I started thinking about the comparison and I was like? You know fucking what? If Harry Potter can get those kids to pass their fucking DADA test I can help kids pass their fucking English Exam. Bring it the fuck on, Umbridge.

So I started Spreading The Word that anyone who needs help with their Shakespeare course can still get help, we just all need to meet up once to hash out the details. After some back and forth notes and deliberations, we ended up meeting in the school library, which was hilarious for a few reasons:

1) It was directly across the hall from this teacher’s classroom.

2) It was actually a converted janitors closet, way smaller than all the other classrooms, and there were like 50 people shoved in there; Not exactly an ideal Room of Requirement

3) The library carried no Shakespeare texts, but had the entire Harry Potter series on display to see when you first walked in

But anyway, despite the fact that we were literally three feet away from her door while we were doing this, our teacher was none the wiser of the meeting. We worked out a game plan- everyone writes out bullshit essays that align with what the teacher’s expecting. After she grades those and gives them back, they get them to me- slipping them in my locker, handing it to me discreetly in the halls or in another class, what have you. I then try to power through the dizzying amount of confusion radiating out of the teacher’s mouth and onto these papers, and more or less write out better translation of what was going on in whatever scene they covered, what the highlights they needed to know were, stuff like that, and then slip it back to them in similar discreet fashion (so the teacher/disciplinarian wouldn’t see me and get suspicious ; also because I was like 15 and wanted to feel like a super cool secret agent). They would then keep my copies and use them as study guides for the upcoming exams, where they would then answer all the questions correctly, the way the third party graders would mark correctly, and pass the exams + the bullshit essays would get them high marks in the teacher’s homework grades. The teacher never caught on to what was happening, just thought her students finally started paying attention to her.

All in all, it was a complicated mess, but it fucking worked. I don’t think anyone failed their exams that year. Will I ever be cooler? No. I think I fucking peaked when I was 15.

All For Show Part 2

Pair : Steve Rogers x Reader

8. You ask your best friend to pretend to be your boyfriend for your sisters couples dinner party. Requested by anon. 

Warning : Language
Word Count : 982

Part 1 

Originally posted by imaginesofeveryfandom

It’s been a week since your sisters Valentine’s Day dinner. And the moment you made it to your apartment, you kept your distance from Steve.

The feelings you had for him were not only confusing, but painful. You couldn’t be with him. You couldn’t damage the friendship you two had because of things didn’t work out, you knew everything would change.

You were in love with your best friend. The biggest cliche of them all. Something you would always tease. But here you were.

Steve called you everyday since the dinner. Not knowing what was going on. He even knocked on your door a couple of times. But you never answered.

You were terrified.

He left voicemails on your phone, asking you to call him back. Telling you how much he misses you and wants you to talk to him.

It was the hardest thing to do, to push him away.

—–

“Shit! I’m going to be late!” You yelped as you shot up in bed.

Quickly, you threw whatever you had near you, on and pulled your hair up in a messy bun.

It was your first day back to work since the dinner, and you couldn’t be late.

You were an assistant for one of the biggest fashion designer in New York City. And she wasn’t one to be late for.

As you opened the door to leave, you tripped over something, almost knocking you over. “Ow!”

“What the hell?” You groaned.

Looking back, you felt your breath hitch to the back of your throat. Your body stiffened as your eyes met his.

“Just beat me up why don’t you.” Steve slightly chuckled, pulling himself up off the ground.

“W-What’re you d-doing here?” You stuttered.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, his stare more intense than it was before.

“I’m making sure my best friend is okay.” He said. “Why haven’t you answered any of my calls? Or texts?”

You swallowed hard and immediately averted your eyes else where as you turned your back to him.

“I’ve been busy.” You lied.

“Too busy to send a quick text back?” He asked. “Did I do something? Did I screw up the dinner? What the hell happened?”

You didn’t want him to find out the real reason why you’ve been ignoring his calls. Which you decided to play it cool.

“You did nothing wrong.” You stated. “I’ve just been busy. My sister had me running around the city with her, planning her stupid wedding.” Part of that was true, but it was always just for a couple of hours.

Steve studied your face for bluff. His brows scrunched together as if he were thinking of something.

Until a smile crept on his lips and his stare softened. “Ok good. I thought I did something.” He chuckled. “I’ve missed you though. I never knew how boring my life is without you until now.”

You playfully rolled your eyes and shook your head. “Stop being dramatic. It was only a week.” You teased. “But seriously, I have to go before I’m late.”

As you were about to walk away, you felt his hand tug at yours.

“Come over tonight. I’ll order Chinese and we can watch pirates of the Caribbean.” He smiled.

You wanted to come up with some excuse. But you had nothing.

“Before you could even say no, im going to leave.” Steve chuckled. “I’ll see you tonight. And say hi to Satan for me.”

And just like that, he was gone.

Your were finally able to let out a long breath, which you didn’t even know you were holding.

A part of you was happy to see him, to feel him again. But the other part wanted to scream.

Today was going to be a long day.

—–
(9 hours later)

“So what’re you going to do tonight?” Riley asked as she swung her purse over her shoulder. Ready to leave for the day.

You shrugged your shoulders and yawned. “Going to Steve’s for some Chinese.”

Riley smiled at the name. Ever since she met Steve at your birthday party last year, she had this small thing for him. But who could blame her?

“That sounds fun.” She stated. “You’re so lucky to have a guy like him. I remember just how funny and sweet he was at your party. How long have you two been dating?”

“What? N-No, he and I are just friends.” You muttered. “Nothing more.”

“Oh wow, I thought you two were together. My mistake.”

“It’s okay. He’s just my best friend.” You reassured her.

Riley bit on her lower lip, her fingers twisting her hair as if she were nervous. “Well if you two aren’t dating, would it be okay if I talked to him?”

Your stomach dropped, a spark of jealousy ignited in you and as much as you wanted to say no. To tell her he’s all yours, you didn’t.

You knew you couldn’t be with him. You knew you had to ignore these feelings.

“What’re you doing tonight?” You asked.

—–

Steve was so excited to spend the night with you. To be with you again.

The entire week, when he was alone he realized just how important you were. He realized how much he wanted to see you and suddenly, his feelings for you grew.

He wanted tonight to be special.

Steve wasn’t someone who acted on his feelings until now. When he saw you today, he wanted nothing more than to pull you in and kiss you again.

But he wanted to do it right. This was the first time he had ever felt this way for someone.

The knock at his door made his stomach flutter. Not only was he excited to hang out with you, he was nervous.

“You got this.” He whispered to himself.

As he opened the door, his smile twitched. “R-Riley?”

“Hey.” She smirked.


Part Three

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY: A wlw version

Is this the real life?
Or are they baiting me?
Is this a new gay ship,
That I can see on my TV?

Already too late.
I’ve chosen the fate for me…..
I’m just a queer girl, spends to long on AO3

Although the stray bullets,
my OTPS,
Despite all of,
The history
I’m hooked on a ship that may not ever be… ever be…

Canon.
It seems to me.
That two women on the screen,
Can really only be seen as..
Gal pals. Why is this the case?
Why can’t they just go kiss each other’s faccceeee.

Shipping, ooohhhhhh
You see all it really takes,
Is a prolonged hug, stare or romantic gesture
For them to be, my OTP and all-time new obsession.

Althooooouuugh,
we should mention.
That we do actually have our share,
Of canon couples who now share some…
Screen time on our TVs,
But let’s be truuueee
The White Guy™ has more screen time than they ever dooooooo.

*cough* sanvers *cough*

Writers. Here’s a few tips,
If you wanna please the queers,
Here’s a list of things you really shouldn’t do……

(Gay Instrumental #1)

First here’s the thing all queer characters should be:
BULLETPROOF,
BULLETPROOF, (just take a look at jroth).
All stray bullets are a no,
For a gay girls way to go, see:
Hint hint Lexa. (Hint hint Lexa.)
Hint hint Lexa. (Hint hint Lexa.)
We won’t ever let that go….
Let that go-o-o-o-o.

It’s really tiring, seeing the same storyline.
Surely you should be trying, saving a queer from time to time.
At least until the end of the season three.

Lesbians, and bullets, aren’t one of the same.
NICOLE HAUGHT. Oh, can you see that on her chest. (Can you seeeee)
NICOLE HAUGHT. It’s a bulletproof vest. (How trippyyyyy)
NICOLE HAUGHT. A bulletproof vest. (I’m impressed)
A bulletproof vest (I’m impressed)
Oh yes, they are the best.
Stops every gay mess, oh

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

Oh, learn-from-Andras, learn-from-Andras, (she really likes the gays)
Or make the queer females all immortal like Delphine,
Delphine…

DELPHHHHIIIINNNNEEEEE.

(Gay instrumental #2)

Also remember that happy endings exisssttt.
And that queer couples can also live in blissss.
Root, Shaw; that wounds kinda still raw.
Arizona and Callie, Greys Anatomy what the hell?

So if you’re still struggling,
To write successfully,
Maybe you can just watch,
A show called Carmilla (season three).

Won’t ever let that go…..

Swear Meter
  • Elide: thinks it's really bad to say hell 1/10
  • Lysandra: wants to be a role model for Evangeline but also likes calling Arobynn Arobitch 2/10
  • Dorian: his favorite word is fuck but he doesn't ever swear around the wrong people 8/10
  • Chaol: said shit a couple of times 2/10
  • Rowan: mostly only swears during combat 4/10
  • Manon: doesn't swear a lot, but when she does, she goes hard 7/10
  • Evangeline: has mistakenly repeated swear words when she didn't know what they meant 1/10
  • Lorcan: Can normally keep his cool and not swear but Elide 6/10
  • Aelin: every other goddamn motherfucking word bitch 64/10

anonymous asked:

I am loving the top 10 lists!! Can you please do one that is like "top 10 vacation/travel stories"

Top 10 Vacation/Travel Stories:

10) The first time they go to Thailand to visit Phichit, they both try and speak as much Thai as they can to practice the language and be polite. The only problem is is that Viktor speaks about three words of actual Thai and the rest of his technique is just have a go and learn along the way and Yuuri has a really, really strong accent when he speaks Thai so Phichit spends the whole trip just laughing at both of them

9) Once when they were sunbathing on the beach Viktor fell asleep by accident and got sunglass tan lines burned onto his face and refused to come out of the house for days until they faded

8) Once during the NHK Trophy, Chris and Phichit were skating in it and Viktor and Yuuri had come to cheer them on and before the competition they went out to get food together. Since they were in Japan they all made sure to go to a café that was absolutely filled with posters of Yuuri just to watch him slowly die of embarrassment

7) On Viktor’s first visit to Japan he stayed in the onsen so long that Yuuri was concerned he had drowned because he decided that hot springs were the best things on earth and he never wanted to leave

6) During Yuuri’s first trip to Russia he met some of Viktor’s neighbours and they were all really nice but whenever he saw them gossiping in the halls of the building when he walked past he noticed they kept using the same phrase all the time before looking over at him and smiling and laughing. He got kind of self-conscious and worried that they were laughing at him or saying he wasn’t worthy of Viktor or something. When he repeated the phrase to Viktor it turned out that all of Viktor’s neighbours in his apartment block had taken to calling Yuuri ‘Viktor’s attractive foreign boyfriend’ and were usually gossiping about how lucky Viktor was whenever Yuuri walked by

5) The one I mentioned in a previous top ten about them both being on a long haul flight and Yuuri slept for the entire 15 hours and felt great and Viktor couldn’t sleep at all and got bored out of his mind because his boyfriend was asleep and not paying him any attention

4) Once Viktor and Yuuri both went back to Detroit for a Skate Club reunion for Yuuri and all the skaters there spent the entire time gawking at Viktor because A) Yuuri somehow managed to bag himself the Living Legend and they were all very jealous/impressed and B ) They all remembered how Yuuri used to be hell bent on beating Viktor and then the next time they see him he has a ring and they spend the entire time calling each other pet names and holding hands and generally being the cutest couple ever

3) The first time they visit Chris in Switzerland, Yuuri secretly practices French because it’s what he always hears Viktor and Chris talking in and he doesn’t want to sound ignorant or feel left out even though Viktor had already promised to translate if need be. But then they arrived and everyone was talking in German and Yuuri was like ‘what?’. And then they travelled somewhere else and everyone was talking in Italian and Yuuri was like ‘what???’ And then they finally went to the French speaking part of Switzerland but Chris offhandedly mentioned that there was also Romansh as another official language and Yuuri was like ‘help, I’m not multilingual enough for this’.

2) On Yuuri’s first trip to Russia he finally got to experience the dubious joy of Viktor’s driving which mainly consisted of him hanging on for dear life in the passenger seat like ‘we’re going to die, we’re going to die, Viktor I DON’T WANT TO DIE IN A PINK CONVERTIBLE’

1) Once Viktor and Yuuri were walking around Tokyo on a trip and lots of people were looking at them and Yuuri was just like ‘oh Viktor, look how many people are looking at you! There must be a lot of skating fans here.’ And Viktor was just sort of side-eyeing him like, ‘Yuuri do you think they’re looking at me, the Russian tourist, or you, Japan’s Ace who has won multiple gold medals for this country and whose face is on a billboard literally right across the street from us?’

Miscommunication // Billy Hargrove x Reader

A/N: I actually like how this one turned out and I hope you like it too anon. Remember that feedback is greatly appreciated

Warnings: OOC!Billy, mentions of alcohol, and hinted (but not directly stated) at sexual activities

・☆ ✯  ゚  ゚・☆ ✯・☆ ✯  ゚ ゚・☆ ✯・☆ ✯  ゚ ゚・☆ ✯

3rd person POV

You were late. Well you and your boyfriend, Billy Hargrove, were late and it was his fault. You see you slept over at his house since you ended up getting too drunk at last nights party so you ended up staying the night at Billy’s house. He had other plans for what to do when you guys got to his house but once you stepped foot inside you passed out. He was bummed out that you both couldn’t do what he had in mind but what mattered most to him was if you were alright or not. So to him that meant making sure that you had enough sleep. Which resulted in you both sleeping in and waking up around the time 2nd period would start at first you were mad but you knew he had good intentions so you let it slide. But the people who wouldn’t slide were your friends. To be exact Steve Harrington and Nancy Wheeler. They were both teasing you asking questions like “why are you late?” And “What were you two doing so late at night which required you to stay over at Billy’s house?” You told them what happened but they still think that something else happened.

As the day progressed you started noticing that people were staring at you. This was a normal occurrence since you started dating Billy but, they normally looked at you with jealousy and envy for either becoming so close with him or by the fact that you are dating him, but now they were looking at you with pity. You swore you even heard someone tell someone else, “Do you think she knows?” And “probably not since they are still together.” That confused you ‘were they talking about you? Or were they talking about someone else?’ Either way you felt something was off and now you were going to find out what it was one way or another.

During your art class you noticed that the people at your table kept giving you that same look of pity and now you were sick of it. You were not going to be treated like some kicked puppy.

(Y/n)’s POV

“So is anyone going to tell me why everyone is looking at me like I am some sort of kicked puppy?” I said sounding annoyed. “Well it’s about Billy…” one boy said looking at everything but me. “What about him?” I asked him starting to get angry. “I-i-its just tha-“ he was cut off because someone slammed the door open. “Stacy you need to start coming to class on time! I let you off the hook this week because you are new but I’m sick of you showing up to my class late. Come late again and I’ll give you a detention.” The art teacher said with a huff. I looked at this “Stacy” and I recognized her from earlier this week. Her and Billy were talking. Well it was mainly like her flirting with him and him not being interested in her. After she found out that Billy and I were dating I’ve been put on her shit list not that I really cared or anything since I don’t even know the girl. “(Y/n)…” the boy said trying to get my attention. “Oh sorry… what were you saying?” I asked feeling like shit for not paying attention. “I said that she’s the reason why everyone’s been looking at you like that.” He said still looking away from me. “How does this have anything to do with Billy…?” I asked starting to get angry again but my confusion was still overpowering that anger. “Well at lunch someone found them making out behind the gym… and apparently they both looked like they were having a pretty good time with each other.” He said finally looking at my face but still giving me that look of pity.

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. If I did I knew I was going to cry. “Excuse me can I go to the nurses office? I’m not feeling too well” I said with a shaky voice but still loud enough so that the teacher could hear me. “Sure (Y/n) there’s a project that’s going to be due next week we’ll talk about it more tomorrow so you can catch up” he said looking at me concerned. “Thank you” I said in a really quiet voice before I stormed out of the classroom.

Time skip to after school

“Jonathan!” I called out to him looking like a mess. Face red and blotchy from all the crying I did waiting for school to be over. He turned around really fast. I probably scared him. “What’s up (Y/n)? You doing alright? You look like you’ve been through a lot” he said looking concerned. “I’m fine but I was wondering if you could give me a ride home” I asked him ready to cry again. “Uh.. yeah. Sure. But doesn’t Billy drive you?” He asked looking confused. ‘He doesn’t know?’ “Yeah he does but I don’t want to see him right now…” I said letting a couple tears slip out. “Oh shit I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He said looking panicked. “It’s fine but can we go now? I don’t want to run into him” I said quietly. “Okay.. let’s go now then.” He said trying his best not to look worried about this whole situation. As we were pulling out of the schools parking lot Billy was waiting by his car and was looking around. Stacy walked up to him and threw herself at him and he wrapped his arms around her and laughed. At that moment Billy and I made eye contact. My eyes began to water and his eyes widened as he pushed Stacy away and got in his car.

I guess Jonathan saw too because I heard him mumble out ‘asshole’ I just looked down and quietly began to sob.

Time skip a couple of days

I haven’t been at school. I haven’t been doing a lot actually. I haven’t slept, I haven’t eaten anything, hell.. All I’ve been doing was crying, even after Jonathan brought me home all I’ve been doing was just turn myself into a sobbing mess. He hasn’t even called me, or stopped by to check on me, or at least to apologize and explain what was going on. Only my friends have visited but I haven’t gone out of my room to see them. I didn’t even ask who it was because, what’s the point!? I’m not even sad anymore I’m just done. Done with this whole situation. Done with dealing with him.

There’s a knock on my door. “(Y/n) there’s someone here to see you.” I sighed “who is it?” I asked my throat raw from the lack of care I’ve been giving my body and all of the crying I have done. “It’s the same boy who’s been visiting you everyday sweetie.” ‘Boy?…Everyday?… who is it?’ I stepped out of my room and walked down the stairs to see who it was and it was Billy. He looked awful. His eyes tired and red from what seemed to look like he wasn’t getting enough sleep and that he has been…crying?

Scratch that part when I said I was done dealing with him and that I’m over it I’m not and I’m not ready to face him. My mom looked at both me and Billy since it seemed that we were caught in some sort of stare off. She felt the tension in the air and decided to leave. “Well I have to run to the store to pick up so if you wouldn’t mind watching over (Y/n) while I’m gone that would be very helpful.” After she said that she left. No words passed for a couple seconds I took a step back and it seemed like he knew what I was about to do next since he started to walk towards me. As I saw him nearing the stairs I turned around and ran to my room locking the door behind me and went to my bed feeling my eyes sting with the tears starting to build up again. He knocked on my door “(Y/n)… open the door” he said his voice quiet and shaky. I said nothing I only started to cry. He put his forehead against the door and it sounded like he began to cry. “Please… open the door I need to talk to you.” He sounded broken… the carefree boy from California that I once knew was gone and replaced with a broken and vulnerable boy. I was going to say something but all that came out were sobs. “I’ll just tell you through the door then..” he took a shaky breath. “Harrington told me what people have been telling you about Stacy and I and… all I have to say that it wasn’t true…” I started to get angry. “What do you mean?” I stood up and walked closer to the door but still not close enough to unlock it. “Stacy is my cousin and on that day I wasn’t making out with her behind the gym… she told me that she was pregnant and decided to move back to California…So I congratulated her and gave her a hug you know. But I guess some people mistook that whole entire situation and spread that rumor about her and I.” I took a step closer “well what about the first day that she came here?… she was flirting with you.” My voice cracked, “kept asking if you had a girlfriend when you kept telling her that I was your girlfriend. I’ve been put on her shit list because of that you know.” I took another step closer, heart pounding against my chest feeling as if it was going to burst. “She just wanted to mess with me… she always used to rub it in that she was dating someone when I wasn’t. So this time I actually was dating someone and she got mad, first skeptical, but mainly mad since she wouldn’t be able to tease me anymore.” My hand was on the knob at this point door already unlocked. “Why are you just telling me this now?” I asked, ready to open the door. “I’ve been coming by everyday… everyday I came by and your mother would just tell me that you didn’t want to see anyone…” My eyes widened, ‘Shit that was him!? Why didn’t my mom tell me!?’ “I thought I was going to go crazy if I didn’t see you again.” His voice was still just as shaky as before. “Are you telling the truth?” My hand gripped the knob tighter, voice shaking. “Yes I am.” He gave out a shaky breath. Still crying. “You could even ask Max… even my parents and they’d agree and say that I’m telling the truth” he let out another shaky breath sounding like he’s ready to sob. I opened the door.

Both of us had tears streaming down our faces. I threw myself at him. And he caught me squeezing me tightly and still crying. I looked up at him and kissed him. He kissed back with so much passion and force that I know for a fact that my lips are going to be bruised but who cares. All I cared about was letting Billy know how sorry I was for doubting him. When we pulled away my head started spinning. Not because of the kiss but because of the lack of care I’ve been giving my body. Everything just started to hit me at once just like how I would have hit the floor if it weren’t for him holding me tightly against him. As if he’d let go I would have disappeared.

Time skip to later that night

I woke up. Head hurting and eyes burning from all the tears that were shed earlier. As I tried to get up I felt something pull me back and I crashed into something hard but warm. I turned around and saw that Billy pulled me into his chest. “Stay” he mumbled. I giggled and kissed his nose before attempting to snuggle into him. He pulled me back up to him and kissed me. “You missed.” He said as he pulled away. I laughed and snuggled into him trying to get comfortable. “By the way your mom said she’d be him tomorrow. Went out for date night.” He said the need for sleep evident in his voice. “Let’s just sleep. We both need it” I said pulling the blankets up around me. He wrapped his arms around me tighter and kissed my head before I fell asleep.

Break a Little - Part One

Summary: You’re an Alpha Female, and that means your entire life you’ve been an outcast, an abomination. It’s been so long you don’t remember what it is like not to feel raw, angry and hurt. You’re aggressive, a little wild, and don’t play well with others. So when your only friend’s brother Dean calls and says Sam is missing, you are hesitant to work with him. After all, you have always been alone.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Characters: Alpha!Reader, Beta!Sam, ??!Dean

Pairings: Alpha!Reader x ??!Dean

Word Count: 1700

Warnings: language, fighting, self hate, a/b/o dynamics, no smut yet but there will be some eventually ;)

A/N: This is my first A/B/O fic and I would like it to be a small series. 

You sit at the bar, consumed in your own little world. The whiskey you sip on is just fuel, fuel for how much you hate everything, hate what you are, who you are, how you hate the world around you.

It’s after a hunt, and just like every single damn time the violence has you on edge, running on adrenaline and nothing can fix it, nothing ever will. But the hunts themselves are good for you, they help focus that rage that is always there.

“Hey gorgeous,” some asshole sits beside you, and you wind him first, a fucking alpha.

Keep reading

“Why doesn’t he care?” 4.0

Kim Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Angst

Format: Text Post

[1.0] [2.0] [3.0] [4.0] [5.0] [6.0] [7.0] [8.0] [9.0] [9.5] [10.0] [11.0] [12.0] [13.0] [13.06]Finale


Originally posted by the-rap-man

Y/N’s p.o.v

When Hoseok got here he bombarded me with questions from left to right. 

“How the hell did you manage to get into a car accident and why the hell are you in a fucking wheelchair Y/N Y/L/N?!” he practically shouted, it was always scarier when Hobi, the usual ray of sunshine shout. 

“I was driving the other day and this guy ran a red light and hit my side of the car.” I confessed.

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The Club

Characters: Dean x Reader

Summary:  Reader and Dean go undercover at a strip club

Word Count:  2406

Warnings: Extreme over usage of the word ‘fuck’, smut

As always, feedback is welcomed and appreciated.  Tags are at the bottom.

Originally posted by acklesjensen

The Club

Dean holds out a pink shopping bag. “I had to guess the size,” he says, “but I think it’ll fit.”

Hesitantly, you take it. Moving aside the tissue paper, you pull out the lacy g-string and bra. Can you even call it a bra? It’s two barely-there triangles of fabric held together with flimsy string. At the bottom of the bag are stiletto heels. It’s so tiny, there’s no way it’s the right size.

“Uh-uh,” you shake your head, shoving everything back into the bag. “No fucking way.”  

Dean gives you an exasperated look. “We’ve been over this. It’s the best way to get information. And our guy targets strippers. You chat up the girls that work in the club while I keep an eye on the audience.”

Yeah, you bet he’ll be keeping an eye on things. On all those scantily clad women with perfect fucking bodies that look nothing like you. You’ll be wearing next to nothing with all eyes on you, including Dean’s. It’s pretty much the most mortifying thing you can think of. If only it were Sam going with you to the club, at least you’d feel a little less anxious. It’d still be embarrassing for Sam to see you nearly naked, gyrating on a stage in front of a crowd of men, but it’s Sam. He’s the safe brother. He’s not the one that makes you feel hot and cold at the same time. He’s not the one that makes your heart race every time he’s within your reach. He’s not the one that you think about when you touch yourself at night.

“Listen,” Dean says, clapping a hand on your shoulder. It’s meant to be a reassuring gesture, but it only makes you more anxious. “We’ve all had to play roles that we didn’t want to, but you got this. I’ll be there the whole time. Here.”  

He hands you another bag, this one filled with scented lotion, glitter body spray and a shit-ton of makeup. “For real?” you ask.

“Trust me,” he says with a smug grin. “I’m an expert on strippers.”

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The Friendly Wager (Part 6)

Summary: AU. Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors and best friends. After yet another bad date, reader comes home to find Bucky with his typical weekend target. They decide to make a wager about dating, but is there more on the line than reader cares to admit?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 4,608 (went really overboard)

Warnings: language, lots of bad language, fluff, sarcasm, drinking, implied drunkenness, angst, regret, hangover, confrontation, stupid feelings are stupid yeah?

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely Kait’s ( @bionic-buckyb) 5k AU Challenge. Congrats on the followers, friend! My prompt was “Can you please come over so I don’t feel so alone?

Second to last part! Tags are closed. I loved all your messages so much!

Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Originally posted by captaincentenarian

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° ✧ WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT PROMPTS.

triggers apply, mentions of death, murder, threats, sexuality and sexual/nsfw mentions. feel free to add/change pronouns.

❛ Anybody know you’re here? ❜
❛ Well, you see, I didn’t know where your office was. ❜
❛ In other words, the whole town knows you’re here! Get out! ❜
❛ You don’t know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do. ❜
❛ You don’t know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do. ❜
❛ I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way. ❜
❛ Don’t you realize you’re making a big mistake? ❜
❛ I didn’t kill anybody. I swear! ❜
❛ The whole thing’s a set up. A scam, a frame job. ❜
❛ My whole purpose in life is to make… people… laugh! ❜
❛ I’m out there risking my neck for you, and what are you doing? ❜
❛ Toons are supposed to make people laugh. ❜
❛ You don’t understand. Those people needed to laugh. ❜
❛ Then when they’re done laughing, they’ll call the cops. ❜
❛ A laugh can be a very powerful thing. ❜
❛ Why? Because you made him/her laugh? ❜
❛ Okay, nobody move! ❜
❛ You heard me, I said drop it! ❜
❛ I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage. ❜
❛ I’d love to embrace you. ❜
❛ Put that gun down, you buck-toothed fool! ❜
❛ Give me another excuse to pump you full of lead. ❜
❛ So you thought you could get away with it, didn’t you? ❜
❛ Why, the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks. ❜
❛ We toons may act idiotic, but we’re not stupid. ❜
❛ You mean you could’ve taken your hand out of that cuff at any time? ❜
❛ No, not at any time, only when it was funny. ❜
❛ I would have been here right after you called, but I had to shake the weasels. ❜
❛ I want you to know I love you. ❜
❛ Is he/she always this funny, or only on days when he’s/she’s wanted for murder? ❜
❛ Can you guess what this is? ❜
❛ Freeway? What the hell’s a freeway? ❜
❛ Traffic jams will be a thing of the past. ❜
❛ Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ❜
❛ Is this man removing evidence from the scene of the crime? ❜
❛ I see working for a toon has rubbed off on you. ❜
❛ What do I look like? A stenographer? ❜
❛ I’d say it was the booze talking. ❜
❛ Got a thing for rabbits, huh? ❜
❛ Search the place, boys, and leave no stone interned. ❜
❛ You think that’s funny? ❜
❛ No hard feelings, I hope. ❜
❛ You won’t think it’s funny when I stick that pen up your nose! ❜
❛ Look, the stain is gone. It’s disappearing ink. ❜
❛ The hand buzzer. Still our biggest seller. ❜
❛ So what happened, huh? ❜
❛ You can drop anything you want on his head, he’ll shake it off. ❜
❛ One too many refrigerators dropped on his head? ❜
❛ Don’t you appreciate the magnitude of that? ❜
❛ I’m surprised you’re not more cooperative. ❜
❛ Remember how they always thought there wasn’t a way to kill a toon? ❜
❛ That’s one dead shoe, eh, boss? ❜
❛ I would think you of all people would appreciate that. ❜
❛ I don’t know how many times we have to do this damn scene! ❜
❛ If you really needed money so bad, then why didn’t you come to me? ❜
❛ I’ve already got a stiff on my hands, thank you. ❜
❛ So I took a couple of dirty pictures, kill me. ❜
❛ Nose? That don’t rhyme with “walls.” ❜
❛ Seriously, what do you see in that guy/girl? ❜
❛ You need a heart, before you can have an attack. ❜
❛ Are you trying to give me a heart attack? ❜
❛ I can tell you now it ain’t gonna come cheap. ❜
❛ Question is, do you have the way? ❜
❛ Jumpin’ without a parachute? Kinda dangerous, ain’t it? ❜
❛ I don’t think you want it. ❜
❛ What the hell happened in here? ❜
❛ I’ve never seen a mess like this! ❜
❛ What do you call the middle of a song? ❜
❛ What do you think you’re doing, chump? ❜
❛ Don’t let me catch your peepin’ face around here again. Got it? ❜
❛ Stop that laughing. ❜
❛ You know what happens when you can’t stop laughing? ❜
❛ One of these days, you’re gonna die laughing. ❜
❛ We just want the rabbit. ❜
❛ What are we gonna do? ❜
❛ The best part is, they work for peanuts. ❜
❛ Work’s been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. ❜
❛ Long time, no see! ❜
❛ What are you doing here? ❜
❛ Remember you never saw me. ❜
❛ Boy, what is this, some kind of secret room? ❜
❛ That’s it. I’m calling the cops. ❜
❛ I come here for help and what do you do? ❜
❛ So long, and thanks for nothing. ❜
❛ Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife! ❜
❛ A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have. ❜
The Bookstore

Square Filled- Destiel

Rating- Mature

Tags- almost-smut, bookstore au, alpha!Dean, omega!Cas

Word Count- 1500ish

A/N: For @spnabobingo​. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


Dean walks by the bookstore every single day on his way to work and looks for the stranger who works there. The town is small, and Dean thought he knew everyone who lived here, until this place opened up. For five months now, Dean has walked by this bookstore. And for five months, he has wondered about the dark haired man inside. The one he’s never seen around town before.

Sometimes the man is on the computer at the large counter, sometimes helping a customer, sometimes straightening and restocking the shelves. No matter what he’s doing, he’s always gorgeous. His hair is long enough to be messy when he runs his hands through it, and Dean loves the days when it’s sticking everywhere, like maybe the store was too busy or too boring and the man has a nervous habit of pulling at it. He has broad shoulders, and is taller than most people around him, though still a couple of inches shorter than Dean. His jeans always cling tight to his thighs and his ass, like they’re a little too big for his small waist. He’s perfect.

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Heart on the Line (part 14)

Masterlist

You and Bucky had your differences in college, but now you need a place to stay and he needs a roommate, and in order to make ends meet, you two start a phone sex line together.  

“For a Good Time, Call…” AU


author: sugardaddytonystark (formerly buckysbackpackbuckle)
pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
word count: 1267
author’s note: I have a 3K+ Thor fic that’s almost done, so I decided to do something fun! Let’s see if this chapter can get 300 notes, and if/when it does then I’ll post it!

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