what the hell is going on i just can't

text message starters pt. 1
  • [ text; ] this is a terrible idea
  • [ text; ] fuCK you f*ck your cartoon hotdog husband fuck his stupid sunglasses and FUCK the ketchup kids (and fuck THEIR sunglasses)
  • [ text; ] i need help.
  • [ text; ] i don' t know wh a t to fuckign do w i th myself a nymo re
  • [ text; ] i got a dog!!!!! I GOT A DOG!!!!
  • [ text; ] please let me come over and pet your dog?
  • [ text; ] anyway i'm bleeding, like, really badly. no worries though i'm good
  • [ text; ] i love death and dying
  • [ text; ] i fucked up. i fucked up really badly.
  • [ text; ] I BROKE EVERYTHING
  • [ text; ] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • [ text; ] don't freak out but i'm in the hospital.
  • [ text; ] leave me alone.
  • [ text; ] i said not to talk to me.
  • [ text; ] QUICK WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SONG
  • [ text; ] some-
  • [ text; ] this might be the last text i ever send you.
  • [ text; ] i'm going to do it.
  • [ text; ] i'm sorry.
  • [ text; ] fCUK I PUNCHED MYSELF I NTHE FACE
  • [ text; ] i'm playing club penguin and you wouldn't believe the shit these 9 year olds are saying to me
  • [ text; ] you okay?
  • [ text; ] i'm so worried please text back please please please
  • [ text; ] 'i don't drink coffee,' i say, before chugging an entire pot of it
  • [ text; ] what would happen if i just, like, downed seven five-hour energies. does that equal 35 hours of energy
  • [ text; ] brb, descending into hell.
  • [ text; ] it's 3 am and i can't sleep
  • [ text; ] GO TO BED!!!!!!!!
Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!

Do you ever look up from your fanfic and think “what the hell am I doing with my life” and then just go back to reading

Sentence starters
  • Based on famous text-posts
  • "Bro, you look so cute right now. Dude, you are so fucking adorable."
  • "Wanna watch this murder documentary with me?"
  • "I may act like I'm sassy but if you're mean to me there's a 900% chance I'll cry."
  • "I may act like I'm clueless but actually know what's going on at al times."
  • "ATTENTION: I need attention."
  • "I don't have a nervous system. I'm a nervous system."
  • "Drugs? No thanks, the only 'high' I need is the natural rush you get from commiting a murder."
  • "I think I'm subconsciously trying to ruin my own life."
  • "Why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and never get up?"
  • "I try not to sound like an asshole but it's really hard because I am an asshole."
  • "I don't want to look 'pretty', I want to look otherwordly and vaguely threatening."
  • "I'm the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know."
  • "Girls are so soft and amazing and nice and beautiful and mysterious and complex and loving and caring. I don't remember what I was going to say but I'm just gay."
  • "I'd love to relax but that's just not realistic."
  • "Contrary to popular belief I'm actually soft and have feelings."
  • "This could be less hetero."
  • "To be honest I just need a hug."
  • "Why can't I be mentally chill instead of mentally ill?"
  • "This is it, this is how I die: Lack of attention."
  • "Are we just friends or is this flirting serious?"
  • "I have this problem where I isolate myself from civilization and then get upset because I'm lonely."
  • "I may be ugly but at least I have an ugly personality too. Consistency is key."
  • "I don't wanna get involved in drama I just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened."
  • "I am bysexual as in I'm not interested, goodbye."
  • "I could win an Olympic gold medal in being ignored."
  • "Fill your heart with bees. If someone breaks your heart then they have to deal with the bees."
  • "I'm so tired of not being a multimillionaire."
  • "I panic alot of other places besides the disco."
  • "Which layer of hell do you think you're going to?"
  • "My kink is being right."
  • "My kink is being home alone."
  • "You're really sensitive for a selfish asshole."
  • "I can tell myself to be heartless but in all reality, I have a big heart and can't treat people badly, that's just not me."
  • "What about netflix and kill?"
  • "No offense but why does everyone hate me?"
  • "I'm a strong independent introvert who don't need no social life."
  • "Why do I get struggles instead of snuggles?"
  • "If a conversation goes on too long without being about me, I'm out."
  • "I'm small, queer and something to fear."
  • "All this sadness is bad for my skin."
  • "I'm cute and perfect but also unstable, violent and self-destructive"
  • "I'm beautiful and underappreciated."
  • "She's beauty, she's grace, she's me."
  • "Sorry for being awesome, loser."
  • "Is 'no' an emotion? Because I'm feeling it."
  • video game: adjust the brightness until you can just barely see this image on the screen. don't overdo it. there is a delicate balance--
  • me: [upping the hell out of that brightness until it's like looking into the goddamn sun and that image is forever burned into my retinas] i'm sorry what was that i can't hear you over the sound of me wanting to actually see what the fuck is going on
Guide to Borderline: #2
  • ((Before I start, I want to point out that there are other types of bpd, not everyone fits in this "guides" but if you agree feel free to like/rb the post.))
  • x
  • What BPD People Think When You Tell Them;
  • x
  • Let's go out sometime!: When? Everyday is a possible "sometime" so you gotta be specific. Also, should I call you/text you first? Because I will totally wait for you to do it.
  • x
  • Get ready! I am coming to get you! : No. Just no. When I have to go outside I have to prepare myself for days you ain't getting nothing friend.
  • x
  • Why didn't you tell me? : I probably hinted it and you probably missed it because it was a way too small hint so I still secretly blame you for not asking more so I have reasons but they gonna sound stupid.
  • x
  • What is wrong: If you don't want me to keep repeating my "I wanna die because" list then you should stop asking stupid questions.
  • x
  • You are overreacting: Ok I am not, but I can't explain that I am not overreacting because you would see that overreacting too but my settings are just higher then yours so my normal is overreact for you.
  • x
  • Do you miss them?: Honey I miss everything. I miss my fucking self what the hell do you think?
  • x
  • Calm down: Omg what is next? Get yourself together?? Go get your life and hopes and ambitions back?? Which universe you live in pal that ain't happening.
  • x
  • Wanna tell me? : I want to tell my whole life story to people that is passing by the street rn of course I want to tell you. The real question is, you wanna hear a real sad and fucked up story that is my life?
  • x
  • I love you: For now.
4

You know what we’re gonna do? Surrender. I know how hard that is for you because of how hard you hold on to stuff. But we’re just gonna, we’re gonna sit here and we’re just gonna let go. Okay, and let the universe do its thing. And if we’re meant to be together, then we’re gonna be together.

  • *raining outside Hufflepuff's house*
  • Hufflepuff: Awe man, its raining outside.
  • Gryffindor: I guess we can't have that picnic.
  • Hufflepuff: What are we going to do?
  • Slytherin and Ravenclaw burst out in unison: SINGIN IN THE RAIN! JUST SINGIN IN THE RAIN! WHAT A GLORIOUS FEELING IM HAPPY AGAIN!
  • *Slytherin and Ravenclaw run out into rain and start swinging on the lamp post*
  • Hufflepuff and Gryffindor: ...
  • Gryffindor: What,... what was that?
  • Hufflepuff: Maybe we shouldn't have given them coffee this morning,...
  • Hufflepuff: ...
  • Gryffindor: ...
  • Hufflepuff: Wanna join them?
  • Gryffindor: ... Hell yes
  • *Gryffindor and Hufflepuff runs out and joins Slytherin and Ravenclaw*

You Know What I Want?

If all video games are going to go the MMO route, and we’re all doomed to play some version of Overwatch/Destiny/SuperMegaShootingBattle for the rest of time, can we PLEASE have a Clone Wars MMO?

LIke, I know that SWTOR is a thing that exists but I don’t want to play EA’s extended KOTOR Part 3 Now With Even Less Logic AND New Sith Villains That You Never Knew Existed!

I also know Star Wars: Battlefront 2, Imperial Boogaloo is coming out and while that’s going to have Clones and maybe Jedi (and apparently Darth Maul shooting down Yoda? WTF?) that’s not totally what I want.

I want something simple. You pick Republic or Separatist. Jedi or Clone. And I’m sure there are variations that go from there from like ARC trooper, to medic, to I dunno. Stuff! *hand waves* Jedi can borrow from KOTOR or add shadows or whatever. I’m not picky.

And then you go out and you fight the goddamned Clone Wars.

You shoot an endless barrage of droids. You fight and fight and you try not to let the others in your party get killed. You protect your clones with all your might because they’ve got ammo and numbers (and they’re YOUR MEN, damnit.) and you have one tiny plasma chainsaw and some very nice linen for armor.

I want to be a part of the assault on Geonosis or Umbara. I want to be in the skies trying to lay down cover so General Crazypants and his sidekick General Nutjob (now with Adorable Mascot Commander Takes-No-Shit-From-Anybody) can pull of another ridiculous attempt to save the Republic from Count Dooku.

I know that I won’t get something like this because the people in charge of Star Wars want to make money and the Current Generation That Has Money has a serious boner for All Things Original Trilogy and Ewww! Prequels but this is what I want.

I want a Clone Wars MMO.

Quote Writing Prompts
  • 1: "Yeah uh - Yeah no, that sounds awful."
  • 2: "Please... Don't leave me here. Don't leave me alone, without you."
  • 3: "So, that went well."
  • 4: "You're awful. I love it."
  • 5: "What the hell do you think you're doing, exactly?"
  • 6: "Is that... lipstick, on your collar?"
  • 7: "Did you do this?"
  • 8: "You know what? This place feels like home."
  • 9: "Oh shit. Am I - Am I in love? That's not supposed to be happening. That's not right."
  • 10: "Who are you? Where am I? What is this? WHAT IS GOING ON?!"
  • 11: "Dear (name), First of all, I'm so sorry. I really am."
  • 12: "I can't do this anymore."
  • 13: "So what, you're just gonna leave?"
  • 14: "Did you honestly think I wouldn't figure it out?"
  • 15: "You really think you can beat me? That's cute."
  • 16: "I'm tired of you. I really am, at this point."
  • 17: "Oh, just digging myself a nice grave, you?"
  • 18: "Shhhh. This is my favorite part."
  • 19: "Hey, can I hold your boobs for a sec?"
  • 20: "I think I may have found a song that accurately describes how I feel toward you."
  • 21: "Is that necessary?"
  • 22: "I don't like it."
  • 23: "I'm getting bad vibes... We should go."
  • 24: "HA! Loser!"
  • 25: "You wear me out, kid."
  • 26: "Is this a joke? This is a joke, right? You're joking."
  • 27: "The washing machine broke, I almost lost my keys, the car got dented, and a wasp got into the house and hijacked the bedroom for four days! Four. Days."
  • 28: "You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."
  • 29: "You kiddin'? That's brilliant, c'mon!"
  • 30: "So what do you say to this: you, me, a nice big glass of milk, a thing of cookies?"
  • 31: "My hero."
  • 32: "That was harsh."
  • 33: "You better pipe down. I'm not laughing."
  • 34: "So you're really gonna do this, huh? And nothing I say can change your mind?"
  • 35: "So uh. I noticed you're kinda naked. Is that intentional, or... ?"
  • 36: "Why is there a dog in the living room?"
  • 37: "They mixed up our reservations. One room. One bed."
  • 38: "Oh boy. I'm on the weird side of YouTube again."
  • 39: "You, my friend, are a filthy sinner, and I approve wholeheartedly."
  • 40: "Did you mean like... this?"
  • Jungkook: *standing in the way because he thinks hard about his problem*
  • Suga: *passing* Boy, you have definitely a problem.
  • Jin: *following Suga* He dosen't move since 30 minutes. What IS his problem?
  • Namjoon: *shouting out of the bathroom* WHO HAVE A PROBLEM?
  • J-Hope: The really disturbing fact is: The golden maknae HAS a problem.
  • Taehyung: You have a problem? Talk with me Kookie. I swear i knock the problem down.
  • Jimin: Kookie has a problem? Whatever it is, i will help you. I promise.
  • Jungkook: YOU ARE MY FUCKING PROBLEM!
  • Jimin: ...
  • Taehyung: I have a problem now. I can't punch Jiminie in the face.
  • Jimin: I-I'm Sorry that i am a problem for you...really....
  • Jungkook: FUCK, NO! Not you are my problem-
  • Taehyung & Jimin: But you said-
  • Jungkook: SHUT UP!
  • Jimin: Sorry....
  • Jungkook: NO! NOT YOU!
  • Jimin: Kookie, can you tell me then whats your problem-
  • Jin: Someone a piece of cake?
  • Jungkook: The hell....can you shut up your mouth? Just for a minute?
  • Jimin: Yeah...sorry....
  • Jungkook: *whines* Not you Jiminie!
  • Jimin: ....But...
  • Jungkook: I'm going crazy! I am in love with you Jimin-Hyung. THAT'S MY FUCKING PROBLEM!
  • BTS: ....
  • Jungkook: Shit! *sprints to the door*
  • BTS: ...
  • Jimin: KOOKIE WAIT! LET ME BE YOUR PROBLEM!
draw me like one of your french girls

So I was rereading this Captive Prince tumblr fic I love where Damen and Laurent are art majors, and it made me crave something similar for Sterek. Thought I’d write it while AO3 is down for maintenance… I mean, what else am I supposed to do on my day off, haha? So here’s the drabble~ 

(I’ll probably also write a part 2 at some point.)

Stiles Stilinski has been shooting him increasingly unsubtle looks for weeks now, so it’s not exactly a surprise when he makes his way over at the end of class one day near the end of the semester. He seems to be trying to make it look like he just happened to wander over and end up near Derek’s table by accident, but Derek’s not fooled, or interested in pretending to be. He stops packing up his art supplies and sits back on his stool to hear what he has to say. 

This is the fourth time Derek’s been asked out just this semester, and there are only twenty-two people in the class to start with. It still makes him as nervous as the first time it happened, but he thinks (hopes) he’s getting better at hiding it. 

People always take one look at him and assume he’s some kind of player, that he’s used to this, and he’s not. He was home-schooled all through high school (it was a werewolf thing). Then, bam, he showed up to college orientation and three cheerleader-looking girls flocked to him within the first fifteen minutes. 

He’s been asked out more times than he can count since then, but it’s usually by girls. Not plaid-wearing, messenger-bag-toting, comic-book-quoting hipster guys with warm brown eyes and leanly muscled forearms.

Stiles drifts to a stop in front of him, and Derek thinks, Here we go

Keep reading

ARMY in Therapy Like
  • Therapist: So tell me, what seems to be the problem?
  • ARMY: It all begin when I was introduced to BTS.
  • Therapist: Yes, yes, go on, continue. *writing on clipboard*
  • ARMY: They've maliciously attacked us over and over again. I can't sleep because I might miss something important.Big Hit's releasing videos unexpectedly. Everyone's coming up with theories but we're just confused as hell. BTS have their comeback in September which means new hairstyles, new looks, new dance moves, new music videos, new songs, new everything. Hixtape is coming! Wigs are gonna be snatched. Edges pulled. Health and life insurance rates are going to increase. Fans are gonna be crying, screaming, fainting. It's just too much at one time!!
  • Therapist: And how does that make you feel?
  • ARMY: It makes us feel....it makes us feel....*starts ugly crying*
  • Therapist: It's okay, take your time.We have all day.

yesterday vs today

  • Mika: ah...aah! Y-yuu-chan, stop it... It's too much... I can't... Take it...
  • Yuu: you have to resist, Mika. We can't stop at this point
  • Mika: but I can't breathe! Ngh! It's too much...
  • Yuu: you look so good like this, Mika
  • Mika: saying those things...in a moment like this
  • Yuu: just a little bit more...
  • Mika: I-I need to-!
  • Kimizuki: what the hell are you two doing?!
  • Yuu: oh, I'm just testing Mika's strength!
  • Mika: *carrying two cars with his arms* Yuu-chan...please...let me...go!
  • Yuu: tsk... all right, that's all for today
  • Mika: *throws the cars away* thank God *pants heavily* I might be strong but my body can only resist as much
  • Yuu: but you looked awesome! You are amazing, Mika! Imagine all the things you can do with a body that strong!
  • Mika: you scare me sometimes, Yuu-chan
  • Kimizuki: ...idiots
  • Me : *is the messiest person in the entire world*
  • Me : *never cleans anything and is totally cool with it*
  • Me : *does not give a shit about things being messy*
  • Also me : WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON MY BOOKSHELF ISN'T PERFECTLY TIDY AND NEAT AND MY BOOKS ARE ALL PUT IN THE WRONG ORDER LIKE THERE WAS A REAL LOGIC HERE AND NOW THIS IS SO MESSY HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE I NEED TO FIX THIS NOW CAUSE I'M HYPERVENTILATING AND I MIGHT DIE OF ANXIETY
random rp starters
  • " Could you pass me that? "
  • " I don't know how much longer I can keep going on like this. "
  • " You're not scared, are you? "
  • " I'm not scared, no way! "
  • " I'm not crying, I'm just... sweating out of my eyes. "
  • " I love you. You know that, right? "
  • " How could you say something like that? "
  • " Welp, this is a predicament. "
  • " Don't tell me you're serious about this. "
  • " What the hell is that? "
  • " What just happened? "
  • " Help! Help me! "
  • " I don't need your help. "
  • " Fuck off. "
  • " Are you sure about this? "
  • " Shh! Be quiet, we can't let them find us. "
  • " How could you do this? "
  • " I don't care. I don't care! "
  • " I... I'm not sure how to feel about this. "
  • " I'll always be there for you. "
  • " Who are you? What are you doing here? "
  • " Where am I...? "
  • " Wait! Don't shoot! "
  • " Watch out! "
  • " Are you hurt? "
Possessive and Lusty Starters
  • "You need to meet my friend's they'll love you."
  • "You look just like my favorite actor."
  • "How hot are you right now?"
  • "I just want to lay you down."
  • "I need you. Now."
  • "Don't leave me. Ever."
  • "You and I are friends and that's the way it needs to stay."
  • "What's that? You were just kidding. You love me."
  • "You're confused. You think this is love but it isn't."
  • "You'll never leave me."
  • "I'm fine. I'm fine. Can't be better."
  • "Part of me is inside of you."
  • "I think we may have a problem..."
  • "I'm losing control of the situation."
  • "What the hell is wrong with you?"
  • "You had better straighten this out right now!"
  • "Don't you lie to me."
  • "I made this for you..."
  • "We're not together. We will NEVER be together."
  • "You're acting like a psycho!"
  • "I won't be ignored..."
  • "I know you so well. We're going to have some fun."
  • "Just relax, we're going to be a while."
  • "I've never been more certain of anything ever."
  • "I know what I need."
  • "Why are you so shy?"
  • "You're mine now."
How I would want next week's episode to go:
  • Simmons: We're against a whole army of robots, we're outgunned and out of luck. Radcliffe knows how we think so we need to think outside the box.
  • Fitz: I got an idea.
  • Simmons: So do I.
  • Fitz: Well, let's combine our plans then!
  • *next scene*
  • Bobbi: Thanks for calling us Simmons.
  • Hunter: Happy to help fight against Skynet.
  • Simmons: It's more like the Matrix than Skynet but whatever. Okay, this was my plan. Fitz, how did your plan fair-
  • *gates to hell open and Robbie rides out in his Hell Charger*
  • Robbie: Miss me?
  • Fitz: Can't believe it worked! Oh, hey Bobbi and Hunter, this is Robbie. He's gonna help us out.
  • Bobbi: ...
  • Hunter: ...
  • Robbie: What are we doing just standing around? Let's go destroy some robots.