what the hell is an eliot

@zahnie i am kind of mad tbh bc now i keep thinking about that leverage/batman crossover and it’s ridiculous. they’re using a charity gala as a way to get into the manor. eliot immediately pegs alfred for former mi6, but he can’t figure out what the fuck bruce’s deal is. something about the way he stands or the way he watches the room or his shoulders or something. “is it not distinctive enough?” “oh, it’s distinctive as hell, i just don’t know what it is”. let’s say it’s older bruce so hardison has to get into a hacker fight with tim. sophie can’t grift bc there are too many rich people who’d recognize her in attendance. parker can’t infiltrate the catering service because they run that shit tighter than the white house (WHY is he so paranoid about his CATERERS what the HELL i’ve seen BANKS less lax about tracking employees than this) so she has to pretend to be a model. that backfires so fast because bruce is so nice and wants to know if she’s okay bc she seems uncomfortable. parker is thrilled when she discovers the house is full of secret passages but that also ends poorly when she turns a corner and bruce is standing there like “hey there, you seem lost”. he’s still wearing the tux and drinking his champagne. he helpfully guides her to the bathroom since she is having such trouble finding it. eliot has a tense standoff with alfred bc this is wayne manor alfred and that means he is like an older, british eliot who’ll shoot a motherfucker. hardison and tim get distracted playing wow together and it isn’t clear exactly how that happened. there has to be at least one scene where eliot and bruce are fighting and the rest of the team just watches instead of doing anything useful because it’s actually kind of really hot. they don’t even really hurt each other so it’s fine. probably fine. just let them keep pinning each other to the floor for a while, it’s fine. bruce has a lot of helpful critiques for nate’s plan that nate does not appreciate. the obvious thing is that they figure out he’s batman but it’s kind of funnier if they don’t and just think bruce wayne is an inexplicable bamf. they’ve all learned a valuable lesson about judging people based on appearances. bruce flirts with sophie and nate pretends not to be bitter about it but he gazes out at the gotham skyline and broods. it’s just what happens when you’re in gotham. it’s a very broodworthy skyline. make fun of batman all you want but you look out at that skyline and try not to brood. you can’t. even superman broods. i mean, he looks like he’s brooding. he’s usually trying to remember if he left the oven on because every time he decides to make himself a nice dinner a supervillain attacks and four hours later his baked ziti is charcoal. it still counts as brooding. nate never stood a chance.

A summary of the new episode

Julia cries a lot
Q is still a fanboy
Margo is the realest as always
Alice is the only one even attempting to satisfy my spell quota
Eliot needs a hug and gets one
Penny is just in a constant state of “what the actual hell”
Kady is still awol which I’m not down with

But overall I liked it a lot 10/10 would recommend

Eliot is gay... does Fen not know this?

When I purchased ‘The Magicians’ season 1 there was a deleted scene where Margo talks to Fen about the marriage, and what it would entail.  It’s how she finds out Eliot will be bound to Fillory forever and be celibate to one wife.  She also told Fen flat out that Eliot was gay. 

Since that scene was cut has anyone actually TOLD Fen Eliot’s sexual preferences?  Why the hell hasn’t he told her himself, flat out?  ‘I’m gay’ why is that so hard?  Why are the show runners stepping back from having an openly gay character not share such a fundamental part of his identity? 

I’m sure people have ranted about this before, but to me it feels like a form of homophobia in the worst way. I’m just going to lie to this woman about what I want, and who I am, and magically everything will work out… OH AND we are going to have a baby on top of everything… because kids make EVERYTHING better. 

Eliot never married in the books, and that was okay, he was openly gay and proud of it, and he didn’t need a wife to fix things. 

This is the core thing that bugs me about this show.  It bugged me last season, it continues to bug me now. 


Requested by anon

“I really did not want to spend one of the few case-free nights watching a movie about a man I already know,” Dean said, head thrown back against the couch as he stared up at the ceiling.

“Yeah, I know how you wanted to spend it, Winchester,” you teased, nudging his side. He chuckled, glancing over at you. “Wait - you what? You know Eliot Ness?”

“Well, I knew him. I mean, come on, dude’s dead now,” he joked and you gave him a look. “Right, right - you want the story, huh?”

“Of course I want the story! Why the hell wouldn’t I want the story?” He narrowed his eyes at you, ready to protest some more because he just wanted to sleep, but he couldn’t ignore the look you gave him and he let out a groan.

“All right, fine!”


OK, but you guys, Eliot’s Santa wig has wee braids up the sides.

So the question, then, is did Eliot get bored and start braiding his own hair? Or did someone put them in for him?

And I feel like Parker’s probably the obvious assumption here, because she’s a girl and she has fingers to weave secrets into the cheap plastic hair of a mall Santa costume. Allow me, though, to suggest another possibility: Hardison. Because, see. Parker grew up in foster care and bounced around and was mostly ignored. Every single time we see her in flashback, she’s got her hair in a ponytail. I’m kinda hard pressed to think that anyone would’ve taken the time to teach Parker how to do something as simple and girlish as braiding.

Hardison, on the other hand, grew up with his Nana and a whole revolving cast of kids. There’s literally nothing you can say that would convince me that Alec Hardison–sweet, helpful Hardison with his soft, marshmallowy center of love and affection for every goddamn person he meets–doesn’t know how to change a diaper, bathe a small child, figure out if someone’s shoes fit, make up a bottle, cook mac and cheese and hot dogs, etc, etc. You bet your ass that Hardison knows how to braid, and is damn fine at it, too.


Sassie Devereaux in The Queen Gambit Job

@mystic-mints tagged me! Thank you so much!!

How old are you: 21 (as of today!)

What’s is your current job: University student. Currently, I work as a resident advisor.

What are you good at?: Being highkey about absolutely everything, and drinking coffee black.

What is a big goal you are working towards?: graduating from university with a teaching degree!

What is your aesthetic?: rainbows and the color fuchsia. space. soft piano music or loud guitars. the sound a nice keyboard makes when you type. the phrase “welcome to hell”. school supplies. every vine involving “take on me”.

Do you collect anything?: I collect phrases and lyrics that I like. I compile notebooks full of song lyrics that I find beautiful, or literary passages that I find striking. Right now I am obsessed with “The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock” by T S Eliot!

What’s a topic you always talk about: Intersectionality and post-colonial theory. I’m pretty much a parody of myself.

What is a pet peeve of yours: eating noisily.

Good advice to give: Never let anything or anyone limit your potential. Your potential is boundless. The widest, most incredible plane you can imagine– as large as you’d imagine the universe to be– that’s the space you can grow to fill, and you are already studded with stars. Nothing can stop you from growing into that best version of yourself. If you imagine yourself to be finite, bounded, then know those walls are invisible, woven by the words of others. They do not know your universe. They cannot know your world: only you do, so never doubt it. Never let them limit what you will become.

Also: when times are tough, just say “I’m fine!” to yourself until you believe it. Then it will be true!

What are three songs you’d recommend?: aaaaAAAAAAAA
“Makka na Uso” by Arlequin
“Catwalk” by Purple Stone
“Garasu no Hitomi” by Sid

Thank you again for the tag!! <3 Now, if some of my lovely mutuals would like to do this, please… @shiros-clementine-pajimmyjams @organicgold @lunardumplings @douke-no-hana @fear-the-altos @plalligator and if anyone else would like to, go right ahead! I wanna see your answers!!


Whoever these boys were, they were freaking quiet. Eliot was pinned up against the side of his truck before he had time to react.

“What the hell?” he growled, “Hardi-”

He was cut off abruptly as the tall, bow-legged one threw water in his face. Looked like it came from a hip flask, big enough to soak his hair, big enough that his ear bud fizzled out with a sad little sound.

“Huh,” the taller, goofy lookin’ one said, sounding a little like Nate when his plans didn’t quite go as predicted.

Eliot flicked wet hair out of his eyes and glared, as bow-legs - who had damned pretty eyes for an asshole - took a step back and tried on a lopsided grin.

“Sorry about that,” he said, “we - uh -”

Goofy held up a badge. “FBI, sir,” he said. “Go about your business.”

“My guy could make better fakes than that in grade school,” Eliot said, and clenched his fists in a way that had bow-legs stepping straight in front of Goofy, no questions. Eliot could respect that.

“Look, you fight like a demon,” bow-legs said. Goofy squinted at the back of his head like he was trying to stop him talking with his mind.

“Been told that before,” Eliot said, proud.

“So Sam here was gonna exorcise you,” bow-legs continued.

“Huh,” said Eliot. “That one’s new.”

You know what I want?

I want Eliot in the brewpub kitchen being all ‘wtf does Hardison have you doing, no, no, we need to fix this asap’

and turnover being what it is in the restaurant business there’s a new chef and they’re like ‘who the hell are you and what are you doing in my kitchen? you can’t be back here, get out, shoo’. the chef doesn’t even notice Amy, who’s been working here long enough to know, making desperate ‘no no no abort mission’ gestures at them.

approximately 12 seconds later, Hardison ambles into the kitchen without even looking up from his tablet and slings an arm around Eliot. “Eliot’s the executive chef and co-owner,” he says. and the chef just knows, knows, that this was not the case yesterday when they were hired. “So the question is, what are you doing in his kitchen? You don’t work here, you’re fired. Why you still standing here? Give me your apron and go!”

so the chef is sent packing and Eliot growls “Damnit Hardison, now we’re shorthanded for the evening rush” and grabs the apron out of Hardison’s hand to take charge of the kitchen.

in no other way does he acknowledge that Hardison just gave him co-owner status and creative control of the kitchen. any fuzzy feelings this gives him are ruthlessly concealed with scowling.


There was a door and I could not open it. I could not touch the handle. Why could I not walk out of my prison? What is hell? Hell is oneself, Hell is alone, the other figures in it merely projections.There is nothing to escape from and nothing to Escape to. One is always alone.

– T.S. Eliot


This con is unpredictable. It can break a mark. It can break a grifter.
It can break a team.

I am in love with everything in this scene.

Keep reading

So I’m watching 7x12 “Time After Time” and in the vein of “Dean gets all flustered when talking to hot guys”…

Eliot Ness: “You look like some kind of bindlestiff.”
Dean: “I’ll stiff your–
Dean: *gets flustered*
Dean: "What?”

Seriously. Are you kidding me right now? What are they trying to do to me??

Do you ever think that when Eliot says something and the team looks at him like “how the hell do you know that?” and he goes, “What? I dated a [fill in the blank]!” that maybe it’s an excuse?

Like, I’ve never questioned it before, because I never doubted that Eliot’s dated all sorts of people, ‘cause it fits his character totally. But I was rewatching The Snow Job in season 1, and Eliot had a moment where he solves the problem for the team and they’re all giving him this look like “why would you even know that stuff to come up with the idea?”

And he just goes, “What? I dated a neurologist.” 

But what if he’s just always known all sorts of random facts because he studies random stuff. Maybe he gets sucked into wikipedia link spirals or just spent a lot of time in libraries reading encyclopedias while he was out on jobs or something. Except that no one ever expects Eliot to know stuff, even when he knows it just because he likes learning things. So he got into the habit of just saying he dated a [insert profession] because then people believed it without questioning him.

Not to mention, it carried on the habit people have of underestimating him. After all… in the Zanzibar Marketplace Job (season 2), there’s this exchange:

Eliot: Then they turned up sound for proof of life. Now, why would they turn up the volume during the second show? Was it because they wanted us to hear Sam’s performance? It’s 101, man. After that, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure it out.
Maggie: You know, people underestimate you, Eliot.
Nate: That’s kind of the point.

Eliot is the hitter, he’s the muscle, but before Leverage, he was a retrieval expert. That’s not terribly unlike Nate’s job at IYS. Figure out where the goods are and get them back. Then there’s also this from The Juror #6 Job (season 1):

Nate: Who plays chess?
Eliot: I play.
Nate: Yeah, of course you do. 

Eliot plays chess and Nate isn’t even remotely surprised by it. Chess takes critical thinking and planning. It’s Nate’s game and Nate’s the Mastermind. Eliot, the smart retrieval expert, also plays chess.

There are all these little things that get peppered through the show that prove to us that Eliot is brilliant, but it always gets covered up, while he focuses mainly on how strong he is. He has no problem with people knowing he’s strong. He’s less inclined to let people know he’s smart, and I’m sure that’s strategic. Just like Nate says in Zanzibar Marketplace. “That’s kind of the point.”

So maybe every time Eliot excuses his knowledge of something on the fact that he dated someone from that profession, it’s just one more way for people to underestimate him. And though he says it to his own team, maybe it’s just a knee-jerk reaction. Like, it’s so ingrained in him to just use that excuse to avoid explaining the truth. With the possible exception of him saying he dated a model that one time in The Runway Job, because he was having fun talking about dating her… Much to Parker’s annoyance. Although, come to think of it, he must have genuinely looked into the fashion stuff to fully know what would look good on Parker. So it’s entirely possible that he dated a model and spent real time learning about fashion as well.

OR ACTUALLY, the most likely situation was that he learned about fashion for a job and then ended up hitting on the models while there and ended up going out with one. Because 1) that’s a very Eliot thing to do, and 2) it would explain why he knew stuff about fashion that he probably didn’t actually learn from dating said model.

So maybe he learned a lot of stuff for certain roles and retrievals and really did end up dating people in said field, but he didn’t learn it from them. Or he did some of the time. I’m sure he’s the type to listen to people when they passionately talk about whatever it is they love. He probably thinks it’s sweet. As long as it’s not Hardison techno babbling when he needs to get to the point. (If we want to get into OT3 feels, I’m sure that Eliot secretly enjoys hearing Hardison talk about tech stuff when he’s super excited about something new and really wants to share it with Parker and Eliot, but Parker has zoned out so he’s just talking to Eliot, but anyway…)

Anyway, Eliot is really smart and I have a lot of feels about it. This has been a post.

The scene during The Runway Job, the one where Eliot and Tara take on the Triad henchmen, isn’t really discussed but I find every time I watch it that I tend to enjoy it a little bit more.

I mean, Eliot is so prepared to protect Tara as long as she stays back and lets him do the fighting, because she’s a grifter - like Sophie - so she can’t possibly be the type to want to jump into the fray like him, she can’t defend herself, she’s just a glorified actress (as some might call it).

But no, Tara immediately takes offense to Eliot telling her what to do - so he just expects her to play some damsel or something, just assumes she’s useless because the situation turned violent - and she separates from him to get in on the action herself, employing her most advantageous and manipulative skillset - acting - and drawing in one of the goons while luring them into a false sense of confidence before making her move.

Hell, even when Eliot does come over to help, she still makes sure to get that finishing blow in.

This girl knows how to fight. She didn’t get this far on secret identities and crocodile tears alone. I sincerely love it! (Not that I don’t love Sophie too, I’m just speaking on the difference between her and Tara despite them playing the same role in the group.)


*heart eyes x3*

anonymous asked:

that's a lot of cat for just one person... is he cuddly like that with everyone?

Lot of questions about Eliott today. Today is a good day!

That’s a lot of cat, yes :p Eliott is never violent toward anyone. He never clawed someone for example. But he has different level of love for different people. what’s really funny is that he seems to entirely take his clues from me :p

For example, a colleague that I not that close too came to my home for two weeks after she basically trapped me by asking me in front of the whole team and I didn’t dare to say no (I was youung. Now I would not care :p). She was a kind person this appart, but as soon as she put one foot in  my flat, it was hell. Eliot has destroyed some of her clothes, pee where she was sleeping in the two minutes she went to the bathroom, etc…

On the other hand, first time he met my beloved cousin, he rolled into a ball on him and never left him.

This is him with my internet friends (@seanconneraille , @toutdroitjusquaumatin, @flammedoudoune​). Look at his face.