what the hell cara


Mr. Chestler: Sooo… unfortunately, Miss Hannigan is officially on maternity leave. This means, that for this semester you’re stuck with me for the rest of the semester.
Wolfgang: But it can’t be! She said-…
Mr. Chestler: Whatever she said, I’m afraid it changed during the weekend. Now… I see new faces, and old ones…

He scanned the room, perfectly aware that half of the students were now scared, starting to rethink all of their study programs because the most strict teacher of the whole institute just decided to cover for their previous, sweet and relaxed hippy Miss Hannigan. That year just took the worst direction ever.

Delilah: Of course you do, you failed me last semester. I’m doomed.

Another problem with Delilah, was that she simply couldn’t keep her mouth shut.

Touchy touchy

Request: Can you do something where you help Cara get back at the papz and Justin doesn’t approve because cara told him she thinks you’re hot and he doesn’t like that you’re doing things with her because he has feelings for you?

I giggled at my phone as I was going through my Twitter feed. All of the comments about what Cara and I did yesterday, were absolutely hilarious. Cara has been my best friend since I jumped on the modelling band wagon. She was always so supportive and genuine with me, I always enjoyed being with her.

So when the paparazzi basically harassed her and she asked for my help, I was quick to respond. I came up with the idea to squirt those photographers with water guns. Cara was very determined to use eggs but I talked her out of it because that would’ve been a little too extreme and violent. She absolutely loved the idea of using water guns and we went through with the plan. Apparently she had asked someone to film it while we both were ruining some paparazzi cameras and she later posted it. I was reading the comments of that video and they were cracking me up. Honestly, I thought the photographers got what they deserved, nobody deserves to be violated in that way.

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Where Were You?

Originally posted by king-mino

A/N: Ah… I can’t stand myself sometimes. And minor language warning 

Mino was a man who worked hard at his job and you no doubt respected that. But when his sessions started running later and he ignored your calls, you felt not only neglected, but suspicious. You didn’t want to think badly about him, the man you love, but you couldn’t help but wonder what was keeping him from you.

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✨Squad Goals Episode 5: Family✨


It should be known that I don’t throw this ass on the first date ever… But I had such a great time with Rakim that I didn’t want him to leave so I invited him inside for an after dinner drink (we were off camera of course) and when I noticed that we had the house to ourselves well… things progressed pretty quickly. So now here I am curled up in bed with a guy who’s smile is brighter than the moon and who, last night, helped me take out my extensions before things got too wild. I think I’m in love.

“Quit lookin’ at me Jenner” he says, his eyes are closed and he pulls me closer to his body. I giggle and snuggle closer,

“how did you know I was staring?” With his eyes still closed he scrunches up his features and replies,

“shit girl, you were starin’? Nah… This might not work out if you a creepy chick and shit” I push against his chest and he lets out a laugh and smiles his perfect chiclet like smile.

“What time does your uh, reality thing start?” He asks his brown eyes study my face and I realize that I’m not wearing any makeup. A rarity.

“The camera crew usually shows up at like 10 an-” a loud ding interrupts me and I reach over to grab my cellphone

“but they just got permission to film at Justin’s house so they won’t be over here” Rakim smiles

“they won’t?” He asks his nose nuzzling mine and I smile and shake my head

“what ever will we do?” I ask in a dramatic southern accent and before I can put my phone back onto my night stand he’s flipped us so I’m straddling him

“I can think of a few things ma” he says quietly leaning up for a kiss

“think away” I whisper against his lips and then I’m flipped again, this time underneath him.


Justin must be in an extremely good mood this morning because not only has he allowed our friends to sleepover, and, consequently, trash his place, but he has also given the camera crew permission to film at his house all day which is a rarity. I’m putting in a new nose ring when Justin enters the bedroom again a camera man behind him being as in-intrusive as possible even tip toeing so Justin isn’t too irked by his presence.

“Hey princess,” Justin says tugging on the loose fishtail braid I’d asked Gigi to do I smile at him in the vanity mirror and blow a kiss.

“You like the makeup table baby? I wanted it to be just like the one you have at home” I fought to roll my eyes because the other day Justin had went out himself and found a vanity nearly identical to the one I had at my house just so I would have a space for all of my makeup, hair tool, and other products. He was the most thoughtful boyfriend in the world.

“I love it baby, thanks again” he places his hands on my shoulders and leans down to put a loud, smacking kiss on my temple.

“Oh yeah, Scooter called, he said you and I can record in your home studio and he’ll edit it later on isn’t that great?” Justin beamed and kissed my head again, I knew how much he loved recording in his own personal studio and his sound was always a little more raw when the music came from it.

“How would you feel about doing a bonus track? Like with the squad?” I eye him through the mirror and he bites his lip and shrugs.

“I’m down. But… can the squad even sing?” Justin throws his head back with a laugh and squeezes my shoulders.

“Guess we’ll find out huh?”


What the bloody hell are we doing in Justin fucking Bieber’s recording studio? Better yet, why the bloody fuck are we in a booth?

“Cara start beatboxing. We all know you can do it” you make a sick beat once and suddenly you’re Dr. bloody Dre. But I start on a beat anyway and it’s pretty alright.

“It’s fucking lit Delevigne!” Za yells so I smile and continue to beatbox until Justin makes a gesture for me to stop. He presses a few buttons that don’t make sense to me and before long the beat I made is echoing through the booth.

“Kenny and Khalil, you guys do some backup vocals” Justin instructs and I’m pushed away playfully from the microphone by Kendall

“Za you know what to do,” and Za hops in with a freestyle that is so impressive that I feel like he must’ve written it beforehand.

“You hop in there Jay,” Nonnie says and he shrugs off his jacket before entering the almost crowded booth. Justin adds on to Za’s rap and their dance moves end up making all of us hit and bump into each other but we’re having so much fun that no one seems to care.


This shit is going to go platinum. Is all I can think of as soon as Rhiannon steps into the booth. Her voice is melodic as fuck and it sounds like an angel is taking over and using her body as a vessel. And yes, I know that she’s one of my best friends but she’s doing this grinding thing against Biz that is sort of turning me on so to distract my inappropriate thoughts I focus on Cara who has Gigi twerking away at her front.


I can’t twerk but Cara doesn’t  judge me for it but by the way Kendall is looking I decide that it’s time to get away from her and dance by myself. Khalil and Za try to tag team grind me but I’m not having it so I bop a little in the corner and shoot smiles at Rhiannon as she sings a bangin’ hook.


Instead of redoing Purpose as an acoustic version I’ve decided that I want to redo it as a Rhiannon version. Meaning that my fucking goddess of a girlfriend will feature on every track. She finishes the loop and winks at me and I pull out my phone to take a quick picture of her that I’m sure will end being my wallpaper, and once I post it on Instagram some fanboy’s as well.


We’re all going hard on the single we just made, rocking to the beat and just acting stupid when my phone rings. The word ‘Kylizzle’ blaring across my screen.

“ Hey turn it down real quick,” I say to Za who’s bassing the song he nods and rotates the dial so the music pounds at a soft murmur.

“Hey King! Where are you? We just made the sickest be-” I’m interrupted by a voice that doesn’t belong to Kylie and for a moment I’m worried that her phone was  nabbed by an over obsessed fan.

“Is this Rhiannon St. John?” An older woman asks and I’m skeptical as hell,

“Who’s asking?” The woman sighs wearily and I hear… sirens? In the background.

“If this is she please confirm because we have your friend Kylie Jenner in the Cedar Sinai ICU in critical condition after a car accident. You are listed as one of multiple ICE contacts” my heart stops for a moment and I begin to nod frantically before I realize that the woman can’t see me.

“This is her, what’s going on? What happened?” The sound of sirens get louder followed by beeping and shouting and the woman sounds a little impatient.

“The incident involved Miss Jenner being seemingly chased by a motorazzi. It would be wise to get here quickly Miss St. John.” I nod again and before I can answer the line goes dead.

“Who was that baby?” Justin says looking up from the soundboard I glance over at Kendall who’s sitting on Cara’s lap ignoring Justin I race over to her and grab her hand.

“What in the fu-” she starts but I grip her hand tighter

“Where’s your phone?” I ask in desperation and she reaches into her pocket with a facial expression that clearly labels me as crazy.

“ Kylie is in the hospital a motorazzi caused her to have a car accident. We have to get there right now.”


Ain’t it crazy how things can go from zero to one hundred real fucking quick? One minute I’m tryna sneak a grab at Gigi’s booty and the next I’m in a car with my head in my hands praying for everything to be alright with King. It’s like a montage scene theme way we’ll rush into the hospital, Kendall crying so hard she can barely talk so Cara takes over and asks where we can find Kylie. The nurse behind the desk gives all of us a sorry ass look before taking Kendall back and warning that only family is allowed. Which I think is fucked because we’re all King’s family.


Kendall doesn’t come back once the nurse takes her away and no one comes back with any updates either. We all look a mess sitting up in the waiting room with our big ass reality cameras tracking us, and I wish that this particular moment would be off film but our producers would never resist the ratings.

“Rocky!” Cara shouts and we all turn to see A$ap and a few of his security detail burst through the hospital doors.


A$ap does a round of hugging all of us before taking a seat between Cara and Gigi.

“I saw what happened on the news. I was with Kylie earlier today but I had to leave to take care of some stuff at my label. I was actually going to meet up with her at your place Biz” I nod and pull Rhiannon closer when she lets out a small sniffle.

“Peep Twitter real quick. Look what the rest of her family is saying” Za tells us and we all begin to scroll through our phones.


I don’t have beef with any members of Kylie and Kendall’s family but it seems like the only people that give two shits about them are Rob and Khloe.

“Little sister had an accident. Will check on her once I finish launching more #kimojis” Justin groans and shakes his head after orating Kim’s tweet.

“Heading back to LA with @robkardashian to be with @kyliejenner. Prayers needed and welcomed” I read out Khloe’s tweet and a series of nods go around the room.

“What about Kris and Caitlyn?” Gigi asks and I go to their profiles and read their latest tweets,

“Get well soon Kylie mommy loves you!” I scoff at the words and Justin crosses his arms,

“acting like she has the fucking flu” he says angrily. I read out Caitlyn’s tweet and find myself further disappointed in her family.

“Prayers for my youngest @kyliejenner. Also, tune in to watch my exclusive interview on E! Tomorrow night!”

“That’s messed up for real,” A$ap says and we all express our agreement in various gestures.


The paparazzi gets restless outside and we all realize why when Khloe and Rob are ushered into the hospital.

“Squad,” Khloe says sadly before hugging and kissing all of us Rob shakes hands with the guys and kisses the girls before falling back quietly.

“We want to see our sister,and they’re going to come to see her too.” Khloe tells a new, younger nurse who seems to have just been put on rotation.

“I’m sorry Miss Kardashian but family only…” Khloe turns to look at all of us and then back at the nurse,

“This is her family.”


I’m holding her right hand and it’s ice cold. It takes me a moment to notice that on her left hand, which is broken at the wrist, she’s missing three acrylic nails and her knuckles are bloody from where she tried to climb out of the car. All kinds of tubes are lodged in her throat and her chest rises and falls in rhythm with a beeping machine.

“We’re going to get you out of here Ky” I promise, trying in vain to warm up her hand.

“Hey doll” I whip around to see Khloe and Rob Standing in the doorway our friends behind them peaking in eagerly. I rush to hug my siblings and can’t help the tears that escape

“No one else came,” I say brokenly, Rob and Khloe hold me as tight as they can and though I tower over Rob he pulls me closer.

“ No one else came and… She’s not doing too good and they don’t care I saw their tweets I-” Khloe shushes me and runs her hands through my hair.

“She’s going to be okay doll. I can feel it.” Khloe tells me but before I can answer a series of beeps comes from behind me and doctors begin to push us out of the way and demand that we leave the unit.

Frat!Luke Part Nine (Smut Imagine)

Hey guys, I know I promised something fluffy but the whole thing became too long so the fluffy part got cut out of this. Sorry! Hope you still like it though.

Previous parts (x).


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The One Where The Squad Finds Out

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,556

(Alternately titled “The One Where Taylor’s Friends are Nosy Little Shits.”)

So I’m tired, stressed, in a lot of pain, and in the midst of a cold. My brain, in an attempt to minimize the stress, is not allowing me to focus on my dark Frozen story WIP or really anything serious. So for the unforeseen future I will be focusing on silly oneshots featuring Tayvin…and their friends. Hence the title.

Hope this makes for some laughs.

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Why do I always wait until my phone completely dies out to charge it? Like, it always happens. I just assume the battery will hold forever and I’ll charge it later, but before I actually realize it — It dies. Today, there was ten percent left on my phone and I decided to take a selfie, it died before I could see how it turned out. What if it was the world’s greatest selfie of all time? As you can see, I’m obviously setting my priorities straight.

“Cara what the hell, where did you go, why do I just randomly see you at conventions and not posting on here???”

My friends, 2016 has been crazy pants banana land. For the obvious wide spread reasons (I’ve been sporadically crying since Tuesday, like everyone else) but wow work has been nuts. It’s a good problem to have! I’ve been having an amazing time drawing Over The Garden Wall (and I hope you enjoy the comics, I never see the reviews so IDEK) and I’m super jazzed about a few other new projects I’ve been hard at work on which should be announced soon.

So I just wanted to pop in and say thanks so much for sticking with me and supporting me for so many years. I work so hard and it bums me out that that means spending less time here (but so much time on twitter, oops) but I love hearing from you or seeing you guys at conventions. I love you all so much, especially now, and want you to know how amazing you are.

poseidon-poseidoff  asked:

"What the hell happened to you!?" (-Jehan

“What does it look like?” Cara snapped back. She wiped her hands across her face to remove some of the blood. It wasn’t hers. “Whoever said to never bring a knife to a gunfight was clearly wrong.” She set her knife down on the table and sank into an armchair. “I crushed them, obviously.”


“I…” Cara stammered, blinking as the raindrops hit her face. She couldn’t think of a good enough answer. “Well… These were flowers.” She held out a soaked, wilting bouquet of roses with most of the petals missing. “At least the bottle of wine is still intact. If, um… If you’ll have me back…” Cara shivered, as soaked as the roses. It had taken a long time to work up the courage to knock on his door.

Wonderland (Chapter 6)

Chapter 6

It’s been two months since Taylor’s birthday. The two occasionally bounce between New York and LA to see one another when their schedule permits. Their time spent together range from friendly chats to having sex rather often. The line between friendship and lovers is obviously not present for them, but Karlie for the most part still addresses Taylor as her friend with major benefits and she’s more than content with it. Taylor, on the other hand, decides to just not comment on their status. She loves every moment she spends with Karlie and adores the model so she’s also content right now.

But now, fashion week is coming up and Karlie will be super busy. Karlie decided to spend the weekend with Taylor in LA before she left for a month and a half to participate in multiple fashion weeks. Her first stop: New York.


Karlie was placing open-mouth kisses along Taylor’s breast before the older girl pulled her up to see her face-to-face and then smashing her lips roughly onto Karlie’s. Karlie immediately opened her mouth to allow the entrance of Taylor’s tongue.

During the intense make-out, Taylor rolled on top of Karlie’s naked form and rub Karlie’s clit with her thumb. Karlie’s moans grew louder into Taylor’s mouth, which encouraged Taylor to move her fingers at a faster pace.

Taylor quickly shoved two fingers into Karlie’s opening and Karlie bit down on Taylor’s bottom lip and her nails were dug into Taylor’s shoulder blades. Taylor moaned at the pain mixed with pleasure.

Taylor added a third finger and continued to rub at Karlie’s clit with her thumb. Taylor penetrated her fingers at a rapid pace before slowing down and curling her fingers into Karlie’s g-spot making the girl moan out Taylor’s name loudly as she came.

“I’m gonna miss being around you.” Karlie admitted after she came down from her high.

Taylor planted a sweet kiss on Karlie’s right temple before saying, “I’m gonna miss you, too.”

“Are you hungry?” Taylor asked.


“Mm, let’s go raid my kitchen.” Taylor said as she got up to search for her shirt and shorts thrown somewhere onto her floor.

“I can’t get up,” Karlie said followed by an adorable pout.

“Get your lazy ass up, babe.”

Karlie extended her lengthy arm towards Taylor indicating for her to help her up. As she pulled her up, Karlie purposefully bumped in Taylor to give a slight graze of her teeth onto Taylor’s cheek.

“You’re so weird, Karls.” Taylor snickered at Karlie’s habit of biting.

“Whatever, you totally dig it.” Karlie said as she plucked up her shorts and v-neck that were thrown onto the floor haphazardly.

“Sure, now let’s go!” Taylor exclaimed as she hopped onto Karlie’s back.

“Have you not been riding me enough?” Karlie smirked at the innuendo.

Taylor blushed, “I need the ride considering I’ve been doing all the work.”

“You know I need to save my energy for the runway, babe.” Karlie said as she wobbled down the steps.

“Well you’re slacking because I feel like I’m about to fall.”

“Blame yourself for making my knees weak.”


“So what do you want to eat?” Taylor asked when they got to her kitchen. Karlie proceeded to hop onto the high chairs in front of the island and grunting a bit when she landed too hard eliciting a smirk from Taylor.

“Whatever you have will be fine or a cookie.”

Taylor laughed at the model’s sweet tooth.  Taylor went ahead and tossed Karlie one of her own cookie from her cookie line and grabbed one for herself and bottle of wine.  The two then proceeded into the living room.

“Have you been watching Dexter without me?” Taylor asked as they plopped down onto the couch with Taylor sprawling her legs over Karlie’s lap.

“Course not, babe. It wouldn’t be the same watching it without you.” Karlie replied sweetly as she placed her hand on Taylor’s thigh.

Taylor smiled and turned on Netflix on her smart TV and played Dexter.


Karlie was up and out her apartment by 7AM and was heading towards the subway. During fashion week in New York she avoided driving because it was a pain in the ass to find parking and it was a chance to just relax before she gets her hair tugged and a pound of make-up splattered onto her face.

Morning baby, just wanted to shoot you a text because I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my phone on me for a while :( - Karlie

Morning texts to Taylor were a part of her routine now. Even though she knows it’s only 4AM in LA right now and Taylor was probably still knocked out, she still sent her text. As she expected no response form Taylor, which she was fine with.

Karlie made her way into the building and was greeted by multiple models already.

“Hey Anja, your hair looks so sexy.”

“Hello Devon! Gorgeous as ever, hun!”

“Isabel! I haven’t seen you in forever! You look amazing. We should grab a drink sometime, yeah?”

Karlie flirted all too naturally when she saw familiar faces. She couldn’t help herself and didn’t think it meant anything.

Karlie’s walking for Versace and Oscar De La Renta today and she was beyond excited about the Versace walk because she knew Cara would be there. The girl told her that she’ll be staying at a hotel this time around, which surprised Karlie but she didn’t question her.

Karlie took a seat at her make-up chair; waiting to be dolled up when she felt someone hand’s covering her vision.

“Guess who?” A raspy and blatantly obvious British-accented voice met her ears.

Karlie knew all too well who it was when she turned around to give the Brit a bear-crushing hug.

“Cara!!!” She exclaimed.

Cara laughed, “Miss you too, babe!”

Karlie eventually let her go after hugging her for just a minute too long.

“You bitch, you’ve been so m.i.a. on me.” Karlie said sternly, but Cara knows there’s no venom laced with her words. Cara laughed as she took a seat next to Karlie.

“You mean YOU’VE been m.i.a. on me! How many people have you been screwing?” Cara joked with a laugh.

Karlie was about to retaliate when she saw a very familiar face standing just two feet away from them and when she meant “familiar” she means she has seen her on TV.

“Why is Michelle Rodriguez backstage and so close to us?” Karlie asked.

“Oh, she’s with me. Hey babe, you want to go hang out for a bit? I’ll be right with you after I finish catching up with Karls.”

“Sure thing, I’ll go grab a coffee. Want one?” Michelle asked.

“Yes please,” Cara said and sealed it with a kiss before Michelle made her way out.

Karlie gave Cara a confused look before diverting her line of vision to a departing Michelle Rodriguez.

“Hold up, are you dating Michelle Rodriguez?”

“Yeah, kinda,” Cara responded rather nonchalantly.

“What the hell? I didn’t even know you knew her.”

“Rihanna introduced us to each other at a party and we kind of just hit it off.”

“Like fucked and she’s still sticking around or…?”

“More like we mutually wanted to stick around.”

“Wow! Look at you! This is like a milestone for you.” Karlie joked.

Cara chuckled a bit, “But honestly, I kind of really dig her. She’s rad as hell.”

“That’s crazy, Caz. I mean, you told me you were fooling around with a hot girl, but I didn’t think it was her nor did I think you would settle down.”

“It just happens, you know? I mean, it feels right to be around her and the sex is fucking amazing. Like, why would I want other sex?”

Karlie chuckled before saying, “I totally understand.”

“Oh yeah? Has someone tied you down? I mean, you haven’t been telling about anyone new these days. Have you been lying to me, Karls?”

“To you? Never. I’ve still just been hanging out with Taylor.”

“Hanging out or…hanging out?”


“Wow Karls, I can’t believe Taylor Swift tied you down.”

“I’m not tied down! We just hang out pretty often. She flies to New York when she’s free and I fly to LA to see her when I’m free.”

“Tell me why you would waste money and time flying to opposite ends of the country for just great sex.”

Karlie kept mummed.

“What’s stopping you, Karls? You totally dig this girl and she obviously digs you too. You’re even monogamous right now!”

Karlie paused for a moment before answering, “I don’t want to hurt her… Let’s take a lovely stroll through my last “relationship”.” Karlie said sarcastically while putting air quotes around “relationship”.

“I broke Jourdan’s heart and lost my best friend. Not saying that Jourdan should’ve seen it coming, but if I break Taylor’s heart, I don’t know how I’ll live with myself. Taylor’s a more emotional person than Jourdan, you know? I don’t want to be on her list of ‘people who broke my heart’. After all that she’s been through, she really does not deserve that.”

Karlie continued before Cara could respond, “I’m saying this as if she has feelings for me as a fact. I don’t know how she’s been viewing all this either because we did agree on it being no strings attached.”

Cara cleared her throat, “1. You’re an idiot if you think she has no feelings for you. 2. You learned from your mistakes with Jourdan and you obviously don’t want to make those mistakes again. Just you saying all of this means something, Karls. Have faith in yourself.”

Karlie smiled, but a make-up artist came over before she could say what she wanted to say.

“We have all month, babe.” Cara said with a loving smile.

A/N: What’s a better time to update than right after Kaylor just killed the whole fandom? 

I didn’t get to see the video before it got deleted and I want to cry. D; 

Hope you guys enjoyed this! Love you guys! MWAH