what the f*** facts

anonymous asked:

I'm having some problems to get a character from a place to other. Basically, her parents died a while ago and she's living somewhere else. She lived in their parents' manor, now she lives at a relative's, and has just discovered a (magic) artifact that may belong to her mother, but she doesn't give it much importance. I want her to go to the manor but don't know how to set up the necessity. A young naughty girl may activate the artifact and raise questions, but don't know if it's good enough.

Unmovable Plot Facts (or what I like to call Very Important Facts - V.I.F.)

This sounds like a case of: “I need event B to happen, but it can’t happen unless event A happens, but event A has no logical reason to happen.”

It’s rare that we ever plot stories in a linear way, that is, we hardly ever plot our stories out in order. We often get ideas for much later in the story, and then we have to backtrack to figure out how we make those ideas happen. And this can be really difficult to do when our ideas don’t seem to fit together. So how do we fix it?

  • Assume NOTHING about your plot.

When we’ve been working with a story for a long time, there are certain facts and details that have been part of the story since the beginning. These facts are so cemented in our minds that we don’t even question them anymore. Things like: So-and-so’s the villain, the story takes place in a forest, my character is new to all this crazy phenomena. 

But what if so-and-so wasn’t the villain? What if the story took place in a desert? What if your character is a seasoned pro to the extra-terrestrial or paranormal? 

Whenever a story fact is proving to be inflexible and immovable, to the point where your story can’t operate around it, it’s time to make a change.

And it can be scary to make that change, especially when we’ve been plotting the story for so long with these facts in mind. But if we need event B to happen, and the event supposedly causing event B to happen (event A) is a longshot, then maybe we need another event to cause event B. 

TO MY ANON: What that means is, rather than coming up with a reason to get her to the manor, why can’t she already be there? Isn’t it possible that after her parents died, they willed her the home, and she moved back in? Could she have found the artifact while cleaning out an area of the house as she was moving back in? Or even years later when she suddenly needs the extra storage space/living space?

When changing one fact, you might argue that you can’t change said fact, because then you’ll have to change another fact, and what if you end up changing the whole story? Maybe you will, I don’t know. The goal is figuring out what facts of your story are most important, and if you can’t work out how to make other facts work with those Very Important Facts (V.I.F.), then those less important ones will have to change. 

  • Examine the V.I.F. itself and decide if it truly is a V.I.F.

So in my last point, I talked about changing event A entirely to work with event B (our V.I.F.), and in the case of the anon, event A is our character returning home, and event B is the character finding the magical artifact. She cannot find the artifact unless she goes home. If you can’t come up with ideas for how to get her to the manor, and you can’t really change the fact that she no longer lives there, then you have to examine what event B is actually doing for your plot, and decide if perhaps there is another V.I.F. that events B/A are getting in the way of.

In this step, ask yourself: what is my story’s conflict? And once you’ve defined that in one sentence, determine how many different paths there are available to getting there. Is event B directly tied to your conflict? Or is it merely one option of jumpstarting the real V.I.F.? 

For example, if the conflict of our anon’s story had to do with our protagonist inadvertently activating this artifact and then becoming involved in some epic quest to stop a great evil, there are actually numerous ways of getting there. Some questions we might ask:

  • Does the artifact have to be a family heirloom?
  • Does she have to discover it after her parents are deceased?
  • Could the artifact have been passed down to her years ago, got lost in a box, and resurfaced at the onset of our story?
  • Could she find it in an antiques store?
  • Could a friend find it and give it to her as a gift?

The important part of this story may not be how she comes by the artifact; instead, it could be what happens as a result. In which case, you could explore other options for getting it in her hands and activating it. 

  • For a rough draft, skip A entirely. Focus on B, because B gets you to C.

My last option for solving this problem is basically to ignore it. If you’re working on a first draft, or even a second draft of the story, and you can’t get over this one problem, then solve it by ignoring it. For our anon, if you can’t come up with a reason for her to go to the manor, then simply say: “She decided to go to the manor,” and let that be the end to it…for now. 

Because allowing yourself to skip event A enables you to focus on fleshing out event B - something you seem much clearer on- so you can move forward with the story. When we’re working with drafts, it’s best to work on the parts that exist most vividly in our minds, and then work on stringing them together in whatever haphazard way we need to. Cohesion and structuring will come later on, once we know a little more about what we’ve created. 

One last note to my anon: Try not to get too stuck on this detail. Change the setup if you need to, in order to make it work, or gloss over it until you’ve got more of the meat of the story written. As you’re writing the middle, you might come up with some amazing backstory detail that helps explain how everything started, and it may have nothing to do with her going to the manor. 

I hope this wasn’t a confusing post! I tried my best, but I think what it comes down to is accepting that your plot should be flexible, and you should be willing to change details to work with other details, rather than trying to force them to work together when they don’t. 



I was married. With a daughter. |Where are they now?| They died. |Oh, I’m so sorry.| Oh, you had no way of knowing. |What happened?| They were killed, murdered. |Murdered? Did they… did they catch who did it?| No. 


You put a fever inside me, and I’ve been cold since you left

Renamed Ghost Quartet Songs
  • I Don't Know: welcome to Dave Malloy's twisted mind
  • The Camera Shop: sit down it's story time this fiddle was made out of my great-aunt's bones
  • Subway: Oh crap this is about someone dying
  • Usher, Part 1: what the f***
  • Soldier & Rose: why can't rose just go to the supermarket
  • Any Kind of Dead Person: oh yeah this show is about ghosts
  • The Astronomer: how come this show has astronomy in it yet the great comet has none
  • Family Meeting: why isn't this scene on the cast album gosh
  • Four Friends: LET'S ALL GET DRUNK
  • Fathers & Sons: the jazzy rhythm makes me forget this is about parental neglect
  • Usher, Part 2: what the f*** part 2
  • The Telescope: star facts feat. betrayal
  • Monk: this isn't on the cast album either i am salty
  • Lights Out: i'm so confused by the continuity at this point who even cares
  • The Photograph: WHAT THE F*** part 3
  • Bad Men: Why don't you just go f*** all your f***ing books
  • Usher, Part 3: Oh, I see, it's a retelling of a Poe short story also what the f***
  • Prayer: is this the moral or...
  • Hero: I'm not entirely sure who Rose is singing to but damn she sure is emotional
  • Midnight: so... are they all dead?
  • The Wind & Rain: what has the weather got to do with anything


Yes, I’ll explain this Catalan Christmas tradition every year

The Tió de Nadal is a pre-Christian tradition that basically consists on a log that   poops presents for children on Christmas. The log has a face drawn, wears a barretina (the traditional Catalan hat), and is covered by a blanket so that he doesn’t get cold.

We place him in a visible place, such as the living room (if it’s close to a fireplace better), at the beginning of December, and children leave food (usually fruit peels, nuts…) to feed him.

Then, on Christmas Day (or, for some families, Christmas Eve), children hit him with long sticks while singing a song that asks him to give them presents. At the end of the song, the blanket is removed, and it reveals all the presents that were hidden under it, representing that he “pooped” them.

And it doesn’t seem weird to us until we have to explain it to a foreigner.

Oh the fat lady has most certainly sung--and she is telling lies

I’ve been dealing today with being bashed by numerous extreme shippers (ES) because of a certain ES blogger’s public post about how upset she was with an “anti” who dared to contact her privately about some concerns. And surprise, surprise, many ES assumed I was the “anti” and bashed me accordingly. (They didn’t mention my name but it was clear to whom some were referring.) It is interesting that it didn’t seem to dawn on the ES blogger to contact the “anti” directly with her concerns instead of using her blog to bash the “anti’s” attempt to communicate privately. 🤔

Someone screencapped this comment to the ES blogger’s post and sent it to me. It was so outrageous I had to respond. 

  • Yes, my mission in life is to “brainwash” newbies and fence sitters. 🙄
  • Yes, I read “EVERY SINGLE” one of the HUNDREDS of ES posts generated weekly and work hard to be “so damn negative” about each one.😈
  • I confess! I say “this is my opinion” a lot. Perhaps in the future I should state everything like it is a fact the way many of your leaders do. 👍
  • As for being “disappointed” in the “Show” or in “almost everything OUTLANDER,” my question is: WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I have in fact often DEFENDED the show from some of the fans (usually shippers) who are constantly complaining about “not enough Jamie and Claire sex,” “too much Frank,” or “not enough BTS pictures!” Oy! Go read my other blog @contemplatingenjoyingoutlander. You will see reasoned discussions of the books and show there. 
  • In terms of being disappointed with Sam & Cait–the people who are REPEATEDLY ANGRY AND DISAPPOINTED WITH SAM AND CAIT ARE CERTAIN EXTREME SHIPPERS. Any time Sam or Cait don’t behave the way the ES want many of them trash them on their blogs, tag them in nasty tweets, and/ or complain to Starz, Sony, the press, women’s organizations, you name it (usually about Sam–poor Sam).
  • In contrast, I have defended Sam and Cait against ES attacks. Yes, once in a blue moon I have expressed a slight disappointment when there is too much shippery fanservice. But such a statement is almost always followed by sympathy for the difficult position S & C are in. So please don’t distort what I have said.
  • The people who act like they know “C/S/MM/T personally & know how they think, act, feel, etc.” are extreme shippers. You folks INTERPRET EVERYTHING that Sam and Cait say or do in order to find “breadcrumbs.” So I debunk your shippery assumptions by using common sense and basing what I say on the assumption that Sam and Cait told the truth in the KDS/ IFH denial video.

Kindly don’t say anything if you are going to make things up about me or exaggerate things. I know it is what you ES do all the time to anyone who gets in the way of your ship but I’m really tired of it. Thank you.

NOTE: This is just my opinion as a fan, nothing more. If you disagree, you are probably an extreme shipper. Good luck with that!

2-in-1 Questions

Pick a letter and ask. You know the drill.

A. If you could make a 20 second phone call to yourself at any point in your life present or future, when would you call and what would you say?
B. What’s the last song you listened to and why were you listening to it?
C. When people look at you, what do you think they see / think and why would they think that?
D. Have you ever confessed your feelings to someone and get heartbroken?
E. What’s an interesting fact about you? What’s another one?
F. What’s the best and worst piece of advice you’ve ever received?
G. When attracted to someone, do you have a particular type and what is it?  
H. What small gesture from a stranger made a big impact on you? Did you pay it forward?
I. What would you do if you weren’t afraid and why aren’t you doing it just yet?
J. What would be two of the most annoying things about having yourself as a roommate?
K. Who is that one person you can talk to about just anything? Why that person?
L. What superpower do you want to have and how would you use it?
M. What are you doing and what would you rather be doing right now?
N. Where do you usually go when you when you have time off? Why there?
O. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make and why?
P. What are you wearing and what would you rather be wearing right now?
Q. When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with? When was the last time this happened?
R. What pets did you have while you were growing up? Who was your favorite?
S.  Which parent are you closer to and why?
T. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done and would you do it again?
U. Do you believe in second chances? Why/why not?
V. You’re super sad today. What food will cheer you up and why?
W. What are two things that people always misunderstand about you?
X. If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?
Y. What are two songs you would recommend someone to listen to?
Z.What’s your favorite book/movie of all time and why did it speak to you so much?

[draws art for a dead fandom] mm :^)


*Day 11 ~ Carry On Countdown*


((I’ve literally never written crack before so,,,,, yikes))

-baz and simon are setting to go to sleep for the first time in their room as roommates

-lil 11 year old baz has all his things set up completely neat and orderly and v aesthetic like the smol rich gay boy he is

-while on the other hand simon’s things are fucking. all over his bed, and like. he doesn’t even have that many things so what the fuck is all this mess?

-wee baz is already a little irritated by this walking disaster (not to mention the fact that he is, ofc, the mage’s heir) and are those cRUMBS ALL OVER THE RUG CROWLEY THEY HAVEN’T EVEN LIVED HERE 20 MINUTES

-but like as simon comes out of the bathroom after showering, and is already in his lil pj’s and is all softe with his curly lil head and all and baz is like

- O.O

-look at that softe boy wow he shine orange glow curly hair neck mole wow

-wait just one fcuking second that’s the mage’s heir that scone eating fukicng hurricane child we don’t like him, in fact, you know f what we hate him im sure he’s just a terrible person so yeah he’s our nemisis now or whatever

-and simon just crawls under the covers and baz is trying not to side eye him from his bed and then the light flicks off and simon just says

-”goodnight” quietly from his lil bundle

-and baz is like

-im luv u



-”i fucking hate you snow don’t ever talk to me again were enemies k” 

  • --
  • [Actual conversation between a friend and me]
  • *time passes as we talk about SPN*
  • Me: seriously, I feel empty.
  • Friend: You may be true but.. What would you do if the actor/actress died?
  • Me:
  • Friend:
  • Me:
  • Friend: you forgot that they're alive IRL didn't you
  • -
  • -
  • Conclusion: Do you know what’s f*ing me up even more? The fact that we got attached to characters that died and identified their faces with the actors’/actresses’ ones, so we temporarily forgot that the people who played them are actually alive and safe.
My High School History Teacher Was Never There .....

Okay folks it’s time to get this off my mind since in November this country is going to hell…..

When I was a sophomore in high school , we had this history teacher who frequently didn’t show up or left in the beginning of class and never returned.

Well for a whole two weeks he was never there for class and so my class jokingly elected me teacher

I spent the best two weeks of my life teaching thirty other teens all about comic book characters on Monday , weird history facts on Tuesday , “What The F*ck ” Wednesday where we talked about nonsensical terms and English spelling , “Teach Me The Thing ” Thursday in which we delved into fictional history of various fandoms, and “Fantasy Friday ” where we just spewed wild theories about time travel , ghosts, conspiracies and myths.

Highlights of these weeks :

“ Do you think Hogwarts has hard of hearing paintings?”

“ Okay but cosmic rays are a thing , yeah? So I can literally become Johnny Storm . I’m stealing a rocket , who’s with me? ”

- goth kid in back row- “ Keaton yes”

“ What do you MEAN by ’ there were gay pirate ladies’? WHY ISN’T THAT IN THE CLASS BOOK? ”

“ So we all agree the ’ not a moral doucheface ’ answer to ’ would you kill baby Hitler’ is - Let him go to art school and instead stop the fucking eugenics movement , right?”

“ No, I don’t agree-”
“ NO ONE CARES IF YOU AGREE, ASHLEY, TAKE YOUR FIVE HUNDRED DOLLAR MINI PURSE AND GET OUT" “ Calm the hell down Austin ” -literally a whole hour of arguing over who the best Bleach captain was and one kid threatened to bankai the guy saying “ Gin Ichimaru ” “ YOU SHITSTAIN DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID???? THAT EVIL LITTLE WORM MADE TOSHIRO AND MOMO SUFFER, I WILL BANKAI YOUR ASS RIGHT TO HELL” “ Scott I agree but chill the fuck out bro ” Toshiro won :) ( there were tears ) “ Okay but like, what if all of us are Sims?” “ MICHEAL DON’T DO THIS, I HAVEN’T SLEPT IN EIGHT DAYS MAN. ” “ WE HAVE NO WAY OF PROVING REALITY DUDE” “ If this is true than my gamer needs to straighten out my life , what the hell are you doing to me , gamer? Rude. ” “ Yo gamer overlord. I’m trans. Make me a beautiful girl. ” - gasp- “ Bro. BRO.” - sarcastically- “ GIRL. GIRLLLLL. ” “ Bro you’re a girl ?” “ yeah bro. ” “You’re still cool with me , Mike. Uh…Michelle. ” “ Leonardo da Vinci was GAY. Why isn’t THAT ever talked about? I want cute historical films about him and his boyfriend. ” “ Are we gonna talk about the fact that some animal’s butt juice is in cigarettes because it tastes good? WHO THE FUCK IS LICKING ANIMAL BUTT JUICES? WHO? Why are they putting butt juice in things that go in your mouth? That’s messed up. ” “ Five points to the one who can tell me Gaara’s last name ” “ YOU ASS, HE DOESN’T FUCKING HAVE ONE ” “ Five points to Indi ” “ I’ll give five bucks to you if you teach us about the Soul Society structure ” “ Deal ” - after thirty minute rant on the Soul Society- “ And Scott , I’d have done it for free. But you offered . ” “ I respect you for that trick. ” Passwords for those who showed up late to class “ Sorry Jennifer , password. ” “ I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PASSWORD” “ Correct, the category today was : Ichigo Kurosaki Is Presented With A Locked Door Requiring A Password. ” “ Let me in, James. ” “ Password?” “ Uh…. Is it FIGHT ME?” “ Yeah , we chose ’ incorrect Steve Rogers Quotes ’ today. ” Michael missing half the class because he refused to say “ My Fave Is Problematic ” Basically our ever- absent teacher was the best thing ever. Ask for more because BOY DO I HAVE STORIES


       so a year ago today, i made this blog. unironically, it was the day  ‘  tricksters  ’   aired  ——————  basically the episode that they explained who eobard was.  &  clearly i had absolutely no restraint anymore  &  finally made the blog i’d been wanting to make for a few months at that point. i was incredibly scared  &  worried about writing a canon character again. more so than that, i was horrified of entering a fandom i’d been in my entire life, but never had the chance to write in.  &  my god… exactly two weeks later, i already had 100+ followers.

       &  now 52 weeks later, i have
1.2k+ followers.

       i have to say that hands down, this fandom  ———-  the flash, arrow, lot, supergirl, dc as a whole  ———-  has been the BEST fandom i’ve ever been in. i chose to write as a character that no one really knew, or had even heard of. i chose to write as a character that i seriously hold so dear to my heart.  &  all of you accepted me…
in a flash. i could never be more grateful for that. i got to meet so many amazing people. people who i consider my squad. people who i consider close friends  &  my family now. i hate to be super sentimental   (   eobard is cringing. believe me   ),  but just i need you all to know  :  thank you so much for this amazing experience. thank you.

way too special mentions.

#nonsexualthreesome : @alwaysxlate / @spacehce  &  @haljordxn​ / @offorensiics​ / @vimvitae

#literallystuckwithmeforever : @lordiism

#mysonmysonmyonsymonysmYSOMOSNMYSONMY : @nerffighter

rogues gallery.

@amaninyellow, @bankheister / @chainedwitch@capedlegend​, @canarycriies@givenpurpose, @inaxflash, @justadiick, @liightfooted / @viindicat, @ofblankexpressions@oliverqxeen, @poiised, @scientiiam / @servesthem, @sedireal

the speed force.

@abamentia@abittangledup, @aestvo, @alexdcnvers@alleyspat, @antiiheroics, @arcvnum@battlingghosts, @bcnivolus, @believeinxtheimpossible / @im-a-hawker, @bellumnati, @biteofthedragon@blatcnt, @bluewiinged, @bluerbeetle@boosterful, @brokenmagxc@cacciatriice, @caedxs@captainofcold, @cassandramchale, @castitatli, @charmerattack, @chasingjustiice, @crownedsword@crxella, @cxpt@darkestdread, @darkinherheart@falsegcd, @fiistfull@filioprodigo, @goldschronicle, @gothamhood, @hackergcddess, @happymanners@hellofapilot, @herstripes, @herxwnhero, @hesaphantom, @honorfueled, @iidunn@iintrepid, @innsania@kryptonien, @lacuune@lantcrn, @libertybelle, @libertybellex@loverofchaos, @magicxecustos, @marypoots@mcmahongirl@mercying, @miiserably, @moonbound, @motherofasgard, @noblemanpirate, @nxgotiator, @ofcoldguns, @ofeyasisms, @offershope, @ofmoraljustice@ofraid, @ofresurrection@ofscarllet, @ofwickedaim, @oncecursed, @originalspeedster, @ourpyrrhicvictory@outlawiism, @ovalbound, @ownheroism, @peacemaiden@prodigalscion, @purrsuasion@redwiings, @riighteousfury@romanaofheartshaven, @saralaxce, @sasscnach, @sculkeeper, @scvedyourcss, @seriadux, @shewailed, @silverheartsilverskin, @skaibrave, @spellahxolic, @spitfcre, @staysgentle, @sunbeamiing@supergiiirling, @swiftmade, @talentforlying, @theatcm, @theoneandonlytommymerlyn, @thewebcrawler, @thornlessrxse, @thrownsoul, @timxtopaythxpipxr, @ttiitaniium@trickstercaptain, @txssxract@undeadcanary, @vandcrwoodscn, @varakaar, @wallyingwestward, @wcrldopener, @wcyneblooded, @williamqxeen, @withsteel, @wolfsight, @xaedificare@xstrange, @yellowiinged, @zabrakmaul


I Never Knew That!
((Top 10 facts of Five Nights At Freddy’s))