what the dm saw

Just got back from our first D&D session, and it went really well, up until the point where it slowly dawned on us that our experienced, accomplished DM was entirely serious about having our Level 1 party fight an Adult Red Dragon as the final boss of the first dungeon.

“wait, we’re running around this island preparing to face… a real adult red dragon? The men weren’t just exaggerating at what monster they saw?”

Nope, apparently they weren’t. And the DM isn’t going to let us level up until after the dragon fight, because the thought of having a level 1 party fight an adult red dragon just tickles him so much. We’re all just worried sick, 😂

Being the Elite Ep.55 Breakdown

• New music is cool, but I prefer the old one
• Marty misses the boys ♥♥♥
• Even when they are in a press conference to the whole world, Cody has to say “Fuck The Revival”
• The Bucks Family: the dad sending dick picks to other people, the sons committing murder… but they are all good christian boys
• Marty really misses their buds ♥♥♥♥♥
• Marty’s Musical needs to be a monthly thing. No, a weekly thing. Actually, a daily thing. I WANT A NETWORK WITH MARTY’S MUSICAL 24/7
• Bucks saying they’re spot monkeys and don’t sell is so good!
• Kenny trying to surprise Marty = CUTE. CUTE. SO CUTE!
• The dick part…well, there’s expression here in Brazil which is like “i don’t know what to say, just (what to) feel”
• FINALLY KENNY FIND OUT MARTY SAW THE DM!!!! IT TOOK A DAMN WHILE!!!! (btw, that slap 10000000000000/10)
• Aaaaaawwwwwn Marty, come here, I love you, I won’t leave you alone at all I know you wanted the best for BC!

anonymous asked:

lol what happened now? honestly poor Jen gets attacked for everything and I honestly can't think of anything actually problematic she's done

If you dm me i’ll tell you what i saw, but i don’t really wanna make it a huge thing on my blog lol im Tired 

She didn’t even do anything problematic, that’s why you can’t think of anything. People are grasping at straws trying to make her out to be someone shes not its honestly exhausting to see.

What is the 4th wall anymore?

Context: Our friend just joined in our homebrew session where he plays a character than can basically break the 4th wall due to insanity stacks and change things in the story as he pleases. Most DMs will say no, ours doesn’t. So here are some excerpts on the craziness that ensued. 

DM: Stratos (main baddie of the campaign) pops up in a portal between all of you people and says “I heard everything you guys said. Now I’m gonna kill all of you”

P: I want to break the 4th wall with my stacks of insanity! 

DM: Okay, what to you want to do? 

P: I want to changed what stratos says to “I saw nothing”

DM: Roll for it

P: *Gets a nat 20*

Dm: *shocked and confused* Okay, now he says that

P: Wait, since it was a nat 20, I can add more. I would also like him to say “I also like to give slime beasts the good succ!*

DM: What the F*** man! Stratos now says “I see nothing and I also like to give slime beasts the good succ!” then proceeds to give the good succ to our lich, who is a slug, the good succ. 

Then after that, everyone just started laughing hysterically and the DM basically needed a moment to recollect his thoughts. 

ckobblogging  asked:

operative word to note in the DM article is "could". So DM saw what Sykes wrote and the tumblr rumors and came up with this. MM did claim she would create her own foundation when she "married" Harry in an earlier pr piece by Ingrid Seward so this follows on that BS. This is going to be a long month.

“She may even set up her own foundation – which could clash with existing royal charities.”

MMe is a terrorist, Mrs, Engelson needs to chill. She raised 15k from the trip to Rwanda, probably cost more to send her and team there.  I wouldn’t worry, we are going to get the odd articles. Get snacks.

Thanks ckob💜💜💜💜💜

“One night during Dming the party of six PCs decide to have someone scout one of two hallways in front of them. Instead of sending one of 2 Rogues in the party they send the Monk with a vow of silence.”

Monk: What is to the left

DM(Me): There is a sturdy wooden door.

Monk: Alright I open it, what do I see?

*Few rolls later*

DM: You see a great feasting hall, there are yaun-ti and orcs eating while listening to a red robed wizard.

Monk: Alright I close the door, did they hear that?

*Rolls a 1*

DM: While closing the heavy creaking door every viewable enemy watches you struggle with the door.

Monk: Alright I’ll go back to the party

DM:(Sarcastically) Alright, is anyone gonna ask him what he saw?

Ranger: Alright, what did you see?

Monk: I’m just gonna shrug and shake my head.

And then the horde of enemies came through the door.

i just checked my DMs and saw this and i was like what??? this must be a joke but no i remember i literally blocked someone for not liking cake boss