what the crap lucy

Just moments i loved from the Assassins Festival.
also rip noct for always being messed with by Kenny Crow

  • Jekyll: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.
  • Jasper: I did. I broke it...
  • Jekyll: No. No, you didn’t. Lanyon?
  • Lanyon: Don’t look at me. Look at Utterson.
  • Utterson: What?! I didn’t break it.
  • Lanyon: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?
  • Utterson: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
  • Lanyon: Suspicious.
  • Utterson: No it’s not!
  • Lucy: If it matters, probably not... Rachel was the last one to use it.
  • Rachel: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
  • Lucy: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Rachel: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Lucy!
  • Jasper: Alright let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Henry.
  • Jekyll: No. Who broke it?
  • Lanyon: [whispering] Jekyll, Poole's been awfully quiet...
  • Poole: Really?!
  • Lanyon: Yeah, really!
  • ...
  • Hyde: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Comedy, that is, tends to inhabit a liminal space (one on the edge, either literally or metaphorically), a place between locus and audience. It rarely forgets that there is an audience; and it posits the liminal position as one that bestows the sort of power that arises from resistance to authority, whether that be social or literary.
—  Penny Gay, The Cambridge Introduction to Shakespeare’s Comedies, p. 11

FT angst week Day 3: BROKEN (promises/hearted)

I’VE FINALLY CAUGHT UP. THREE CHEERS FOR ME. Nalu fic under the cut. How does one even word. This is so all over the place and just plain bad and I’m so out of practice for writing fic that it’s embarrassing but I can’t bear to edit this anymore. So tired. Goodnight all. 

Title: Did You Really Think Three Words Were Going To Cut It After A Year, or: Lucy And Natsu Have The Aquarius Talk
Summary: Losing your water spirit is tough when you’re fighting in the pouring rain and your only companion is a stupid fire mage. 
Author’s Notes: Takes place in chapter 424, between when Natsu catches a collapsing Juvia at the front of the Rainfall Village and when Juvia wakes up and provides an explanation for Gray’s absence. I think in-world, the time between the two events was only supposed to be like five minutes or so, but I’m going to use creative license to stretch that out to, like, five hours. Basically, Natsu catches Juvia, they take her into the house and lay her in a bed, and Wendy and Happy volunteer to look after Juvia while Natsu and Lucy go out to find dinner for them all, which is when this fic takes place. Natsu and Lucy return to the village, where Juvia then wakes up and manages to explain the situation. 
Rating: G (for general audiences)
Warnings: None. 

They had only wanted some fish for dinner. 

“LUCY!” Natsu yelled, before a tentacle grabbed him and dunked him underwater again. His flames went out with a sad hiss and Lucy saw him go limp, clutching at the pink appendage wrapped around him for dear life. Ah. So his motion sickness was still in full force, it seemed. Wind buffeted rain into her eyes, and Lucy cracked her whip frustratedly. 

“Damn octopus, let Natsu go!” she screamed at the monstrous creature before them that only just qualified for the classification of octopus by dint of its eight limbs thrashing about in the river. Flinging her arm back, she retired Taurus and called forth Cancer, in the hopes that his constitution might be better suited for the damp environment. 

“Need another haircut so soon, Luc–”

“Learn to read the damn situation!” Lucy said, and Cancer put his salon tools away sheepishly. “You’re a crab, you can fight in the water, right?” 

“Are you kidding me, Lucy? I’m a hairdresser. Humidity is killer for the hair,” he explained. “Whoa, watch it!”

Keep reading


                   *tackles you to the ground*                

   “Don’t give me that crap, Ardyn. What the hell are you doing on Lucis again?”  

“Now now, don’t be so rash. You don’t own a country my sweet. I’m free to travel where I please despite your distaste of me”

Ardyn has had enough of being on his back, pushing Cor away sharply and getting to his feet, dusting himself off then offering his hand for Cor to help himself up. 

“I could ask you the same question. I assumed you would have died by now"