what rps

since i’m on a sugar baby phase imagine a plot where a college student is absolutely PAMPERED by annoymous guy. all he asks in return is to be remained mysterious, occasion nudes, & all the attention he craves. she’s all too willing to give it for the pretty penny he’s offering. but her birthday comes around & he surprises her with a trip to see her favorite singer / actor with vip access / meet & oh hold a second, how does he know my name ?? OH MY GOD YOU’RE MY SUGAR DADDY !!


Slughorn: “Look sharp, Tom, you don’t want to be caught out of bed out of hours, and you a prefect…”

Slughorn: “Ask away, then, m’boy, ask away…”

Tom: “Sir, I wondered what you know about…”

Slughorn: “Tom, that’s very Dark stuff, very Dark indeed.”

Slughorn: “Well, it can’t hurt to give you an overview, of course. Just so that you understand the term. A Horcrux is the word used for an object in which a person has concealed part of their soul.”

Tom: “I don’t quite understand how that works, though, sir.”

hey just a not so friendly reminder that tomorrow is December 14th aka the day they may take net neutrality away which will lead to us having to pay for this shitty ass website & will see the demise in small businesses and a more fractured education system as well as other impacts but we still have today to TEXT RESIST TO 50409 AND SEND A LETTER TO YOUR CONGRESS MEN!!! YOU CAN USE YOUR SCHOOL ADDRESS IF YOU DONT WANNA USE YOUR OWN. Y’ALL THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. A MILLION VOICES WILL BE SILENCED AND MILLIONS WILL BE LEFT WITHOUT AN OUTLET WHICH COULD LEAD TO A DRASTIC RAISE IN SUICIDES. WE CAN NOT LET THESE DUMBASS WHITE, OVERPOWERED MEN WHO HAVE EVERYTHING THEY DONT NEED WIN BECAUSE THEY WANT ~MORE~. TEXT RESIST TO 50409 AND LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD. THIS ISN’T JUST ABOUT THE INTERNET. THIS IS ABOUT STAYING CONNECTED. 


Happy Holidays From Hogwarts’s Mean Girls

part 1

“Remus!” Sirius threw himself into his arms. Remus gratefully wrapped his arms around him, embracing his lover in a hug to make up for all the ones he had missed in their two weeks apart. But Sirius broke away too quickly. “Fuck you.” He said. His eyes were bloodshot and angry. Remus was taken aback.
“What? Siriu-“
“Fuck you!” Sirius whipped out his wand, though he didn’t exactly know what he intended to do with it.
Remus raised his hands in surrender. “Si- Padfoot, you’re drunk,” he attempted to grab Sirius’ wrist but he pulled away sharply. “Let’s not do anything rash-“
“Rash? You’re talking to me about rash?!” Sirius’ voice was beginning to raise and Remus’ heart rate began to climb. Sirius could be uncontrollable when he got angry. “Leaving me here! For weeks on end! God knows what you’re up to, having shitloads of fun I suppose, considering how fucking long you stay away from me-“
“Sirius, don’t-“
“No! Let me speak!” Sirius gestured wildly with his wand and a few red sparks erupted from the end. “You have no idea how hard this is! Stuck in my parents house, when I left here at fifteen I thought I’d never return, I hoped I’d never return, and here I am, and I don’t even have my boyfriend for company?” Tears were welling up in Remus’ eyes and the image of Sirius was becoming blurred. He thought this must be a good thing, because he couldn’t bear to watch Sirius look at him with such contempt. “I’m locked up here, literally, for ages, no word from you, not even an owl sent with a fucking bar of chocolate so I know you’re okay and not dead or captured or being tortured!” He said all of this very fast, and it took Remus a moment to process it all. Sirius seemed to break. He collapsed on the bed and a dry sob erupted from his chest as he buried his head in his hands. Remus was beside him in an instant, cradling Sirius as he knew he should have been doing every night he undoubtedly woke up in the night from horrible dreams in this godforsaken house.
“I’m so sorry,” Remus’ tears were falling into Sirius’ hair as he clutched him as close as he possibly could.
“It’s just - so - h-hard…” Sirius’ breath caught in his throat as his chest shook with another sob.
“Shhh, I’m here, it’s okay,” Remus didn’t know whether he was comforting Sirius or himself more.
“I hate it here, Moons.” Sirius said quietly, then punching the bed with a shout and sending more sparks out of his wand.
“I know. I’m so sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry.” Remus didn’t know what else to say. He knew Sirius must resent him for it. “You should go to sleep, let’s sleep off that firewhiskey, okay? You’ll feel better in the morning.”
“Will you even still be here in the morning?” Sirius’ words were harsh and biting with dark humor.
Remus bit back a sob but he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. He suddenly felt as if he was too close to Sirius. He pulled away sharply and they sat a few feet apart, on the bed in silence. Everything in the room was a sick reminder of everything Sirius had tried to escape, and all the things Remus had inadvertently subjected him to. Remus hated himself for it. Nothing was more important than this. The empty bottles and candy wrappers on the floor sent pangs if guilt through the werewolf’s heart.

Snarky starters

  • “I’m sorry, when did I ask for your opinion?”
  • “How many people have heard that pick-up line?”
  • “If I cared, I would have listened the first time.”
  • “I’ve been called worse.”
  • “Can you tell me when exactly I asked what you thought?”
  • “Who asked you to come?”
  • “Congratulations. Can we continue?”
  • “Thank you so much, for your highly valuable opinion.”
  • “Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”
  • “Did I actually just hear you say that?”
  • “The explanation for this better be good.”
  • “Stop talking before you say something we’ll both regret.”
  • “Oh no, your words hurt me so much. How will I live?”


                                                                PLOT #1 

muse a is what they call “the wall”. no matter how well you may think you know them, no matter how well you may make them smile or laugh, you’ll never truly know the real them, due to the wall they have up. muse a has always been closed off when it came to relationships — they didn’t believe anyone could actually see themselves with muse a in the long run, even if they had every single trait they had been looking for. after failed attempts of relationships, muse a had began to get better and better at going from the dumpee to the dumper. like clockwork, muse a just got out of another relationship, one to where it lasted far too long and they bump into muse b, a free-spirited and loving character who never settles, who never gets into relationships and for some odd reason, muse a wants a relationship with muse b in someway and somehow, they were determined to have it — whether it meant risking being hurt once again but, how can you hurt when you’ve become numb to it, right? 

                                                                PLOT #2

the question that everyone has regarding a break up, is can exes really just be friends after a break up? muse a and muse b had dated for years, knowing every little detail and every habit they had about one another. muse a was this driven and perfectionist of a person, but they always knew how to have a good time — whereas with muse b was always getting in some type of trouble. despite the odd pair, their relationship never went through the ups and downs, they barely ever argued and overall, the two always mentioned how well their relationship has always been — it wasn’t until muse a began to feel like muse b was going into a horrible route in their life with almost getting arrested, talking to people disrespectfully, getting drunk every other day. they were turning into someone muse a didn’t really know anymore and it didn’t make muse a feel any better or safer being with muse b, which ultimately led the two to break up. however, due to their long status of their relationship, muse b has been reaching out, asking and hoping for muse a to at least give them a chance at friendship, but — muse a is now that person asking, can the two really just be friends?

                                                               PLOT #3

being in an on and off relationship, muse a had always been wrapped around muse b’s finger. the two would fight, break up, make up and repeat and everyone knew the routine of the couple. muse a would fall for muse b’s flashing smile and their heartfelt words that led to them getting back together, even though muse a knew they didn’t actually mean a single word. wanting their relationship to work, muse a tries and has tried everything there is but, muse b makes it clear they could careless of the effort. after looking back at all the fights and all the tears that muse a had to deal with thanks to muse b, it’s a surprise to everyone and to muse b, when muse a finally puts their foot down and begins to worry about themselves again, they start ignoring muse b’s phone calls, home visits and eventually drives muse b over the edge and makes them reevaluate what’s truly happening and tries everything to get muse a’s attention again. 

                                                              PLOT #4

muse a and muse b had always been the best of friends. the two always were together and nobody or anything could get the two apart. it wasn’t until muse b was offered a job somewhere across the country, and without much thinking, muse a begged them to not go — finally admitting their feelings, muse b agreed to not leave, and without thinking turned down a job that could have changed their life forever but, like every cliche movie, they were blinded by a confess they believed would end happily. after a few months, the two began to fight more often, which led to random outbursts, or one leaving without speaking a word or trying to fix things. the sexual connectivity was there and sadly, it was the only thing keeping the two together. muse a started to feel emotionally disconnected while muse b could only blame muse a for dragging them behind and keeping them from their dream. it was a best friends gone lovers turned into strangers, and that was something they had always wanted to avoid, no matter what may had caused the two to start feeling disconnected to one another.  

                                                   PLOT #5

muse b is the big shot around campus, known for their charm, their families’ fortune and of course, their player antics. not only are they top of their class, but they are also a top athlete. instead of the cliche, shy muse a falling for the popular muse b, how about muse a is a transfer to said college, and not only are they also known for their charismatic and outgoing personality, but they are also a top athlete. with being said, the two are introduced during class, muse b is up to their old little habits, answering each and every question that the professor throws at them, until they get one wrong and is out shined by muse a, who frankly is, smirking and making it seem like they are taunting muse b for their mistake. it turns into a feud almost, who can answer more questions, who can drink the most beers, who can out fuck the other — little did they know, they have a lot more in common than they truly thought when muse a finally asks muse b on a coffee date, which is where the real tension begins to show. 

Horace Slughorn: Lily? Lily Evans?

Horace: Oh, Harriet my dear. Forgive me, but you look so much like your mother.

Horace: Except for, of course, the eyes. You have your–

((Harriet “sick of being told she looks like her dead parents” Potter is online! Huge shoutout to @sirussly for her scar tutorial))


 i  watched  around  60+  buzzfeed  videos  to  do  this  but  here  it  is :   an  assorted  sentence  pack  of  shane  madej  quotes  from  buzzfeed  videos  other  than  buzzfeed :  unsovled !    there’s  plenty  of  buzzfeed :  unsloved  memes  going  around  so  i  thought  it  nice  to  shed  some  light  on  other  things  shane  has  said  in  other  material .    feel  free  to  change  any  pronouns  in  anyway  you’d  like !

 ❛    i  feel  like  i’m  in  the  fourth  dimension !   
     am  i  yelling ?   
     so  when  do  people  wear  this ?   when  they  sleep ?   when  they  make  love ?   ❜
 ❛    i’m  so  glad  this  isn’t  cake !   ❜
 ❛    this  was  my  favorite  toy .   forever .   ❜
     this  is  so  much  better  than  cake .   
 ❛    i  eat  to  live  but  i  don’t  live  to  eat .    ❜
     here’s  to  a  great  week  of  being  sludge  buds .   
 ❛    hey ,  look !   there’s  some  vomit  on  the  stairs  …  and  here’s  my  dinner !    
 ❛    i’ve  been  eating  muck  since  tuesday .   i’m  …  sad ?   and  kinda  delirious .   
 ❛    the  other  night  i  was  falling  asleep  and  i  just  started  thinking  about  bread .    ❜
     some  bread  is  airy ,  some  bread  is ,  like ,  cakey  …  what  was  the  question ?    
 ❛    food  is  great .   don’t  ever  take  food  for  granted ,  it’s  the  best .    ❜
 ❛    because  i’m  a  fun  guy  and  i  know  how  to  party .    ❜
 ❛    where’s  all  this  liquid  go ?   are  we  filling  up  like  balloons  right  now ?    ❜
     alright ,  i’m  stepping  away  from  this  situation .    ❜
 ❛    what  have  you  done ?!   your  blood !   your  precious  blood !    ❜
 ❛    all  that  for  a  banana ?    ❜
 ❛    i’m  gonna  look  like  seacrest  after  this .    ❜
 ❛    i  don’t  pay  attention  to  my  face .   i  know  it’s  here .    ❜
 ❛    dancing  little  ice  globes ,  dancing  across  my  face .    ❜
 ❛    this  is  everything  that  i  want  forever .    ❜
 ❛    we’re  gonna  get  snails  put  on  our  face ,  for  some  reason .    ❜
 ❛    do  you  mind  eating  this  asparagus  and  then  peeing  into  this  cup  for  me ?   
 ❛    meet  me  in  the  studio .   bring  your  cup  of  pee .   
 ❛    i  don’t  know  why  we  did  this ,  because  you  can’t  smell  it ,  but ,  i  assure  you ,  it’s  revolting .   
     i’ve  climbed  a  whole  bunch  of  ladders .   whole  bunch  of  stairs .   vertical  ascension ,  i’m  pretty  good  at  it .   
 ❛    i  don’t  think  i’m  scared  of  heights .   i’ll  find  out  when  i  get  to  the  top .   
 ❛    i  worked  very  hard  to  be  this  tall !   
     i’m  just  here  ‘cause  this  is  the  stuff  they  make  us  do .   
 ❛    i  feel  like  it’s  eating  my  skin  but  in  a  good  way .   
 ❛    well ,  you  know ,  we  do  whatever  we  want  around  here .   
     i  imagine  it’s  going  to  be  someone  towering  over  me  and  telling  me ,  very  loudly ,  that  i’m  not  trying  hard  enough  ‘cause  i  probably  won’t  be .   
     at  the  end  of  the  day  my  goal  is  to  remain  alive .   
     it’s  about  what  i  expected  which  is  pretty  rough .   
     it  was  one  of  the  low  points  in  my  life  but ,  once  again ,  entirely  worth  it .   
     he  looked  like  he  was  gonna  throw  up  a  couple  times .   to  be  fair ,  though ,  i  also  almost  threw  up .   
     have  you  ever  seen  a  head  more  ready  to  get  a  snake  put  on  it ?   
     you  know ,  sometimes  you  hear  people  breathing  in  your  ear  but  very  rarely  a  snake .   
     i  could  have  done  that  for  like  four  or  five  more  hours .   
     right  now  i  look  like  shit  but ,  ten  minutes  from  now ,  i’m  gonna  look  like  ryan  seacrest !   
     holy  cow ,  those  are  brows !   
     now  i  understand  what  furries  are  all  about .   
 (  singing  )   ❛    who’s  a  milky  piggy ?   me !   me !   me !   
     i  don’t  wanna  see  that  in  the  mirror  ever  again .   
     hey ,  i’m  the  world’s  biggest  soup  fan !   that’s  what  i’m  trying  to  say  here .   
     well ,  only  twenty  eight  more  minutes  of  this .   so  i’m  going  to  die .   
     this  is  all  natural ,  baby !   
     if  you  just  imagine  a  root  beer  float  but  without  any  moisture .   that’s  what  you’re  about  to  experience .   
     definitely  thinking  outside  the  box ,  and  that’s  respectable .   maybe  they  should  start  keeping  it  inside  the  box ,  though .   

19 Years Later

-Harry pulls Draco to one side-

Harry: …you never wanted to do anything you did back then.

Harry: *Offers his hand to Draco* start over?


So I had some Harry Gifs lying around and thought I’d do a thing… sorry about bad quality Malfoy!

random starters from  “ the office ”

001.   ❛  i have very little patience for stupidity  .  ❜

002.   ❛  this is the worst  !  you are the worst  !    ❜

003.   ❛ I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF  !  ❜

004.   ❛  sorry i annoyed you with my friendship  . ❜

005.   ❛  before i do anything   ,  i ask myself  “ would an idiot do that ” ?  ❜

006.  ❛   if i don’t have some cake soon  ,  i might die  .    ❜

007.   ❛   saw inception  .   or at least i dreamt i did  .    ❜

008.   ❛   cool beans  ,  man .    ❜

009.   ❛   i hate looking at your face  . ❜

010.   ❛  i wanna be wined  ,  dined  ,   and  69ed  . ❜

011.   ❛   i am running away from my responsibilites  !  ❜

012.   ❛   it’s britney bitch  and  i’m back  . ❜

013.   ❛   it took me so long to do so many important things  . ❜

014.   ❛   OH MY GOD  !  okay  ,  it’s happening  .❜

015.   ❛   i’m keeping a list of people who’ve wronged me  . ❜

016.   ❛   you are a professional idiot  . ❜

017.   ❛   well you are boner-ific  . ❜

018.   ❛   i am beyonce , always .  ❜

019.   ❛   WHERE ARE THE TURTLES ?!  ❜

020.   ❛  only thing that can make this day better is ice cream  . ❜

021.   ❛   i’ll slap you in the face with a rainbow  . ❜

022.   ❛   i just wanna lie on the beach and eat hot dogs  .  ❜

023.   ❛   should have burned this place down when i had the chance  .  ❜

024.   ❛   i’m an early bird and a night owl  !  ❜

025.   ❛   any man who says he totally understands women is a fool  .  ❜

026.   ❛   women cannot resist a man singing showtunes  !  ❜

027.   ❛   i love the smell of bacon on women !  ❜

028.   ❛   why are you the way that you are ?  ❜

029.   ❛   occasionally  ,  i’ll hit somebody with a car  .  so sue me  .  ❜

030.   ❛   congratulations  ,  universes  ,  you win  .  ❜

031.   ❛   i want you to think about it long and hard  .  ❜

032.   ❛   we’re all homos   .   .   .   homosapiens  .  ❜

033.   ❛   no one is a bigger fan of sexual touching than me .  ❜

034.   ❛   would i rather be loved or feared  ?  easy  .  both  .  i want people to be afraid of how much they love me  .  ❜

035.   ❛   i just want to eat  .  ❜

036.   ❛   i am not to be truffled with .  ❜

037.   ❛   STAY FUCKING CALM  !  ❜

038.   ❛   welcome back jerky jerk face  .  ❜

039.   ❛   now exactly how much pot did you smoke ?  ❜

040.   ❛   that’s what she said  .  ❜

Starting Fresh

((OOC: Parvati played by the lovely @desicosplay! Lavender and script by me.  :} ))

It’s a lovely cool spring evening. Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil sit together in the Gryffindor common room, surrounded by open books and crumpled up parchment.

Lavender sighs.

Parvati: Are you alright?

Lavender: ‘M fine.

Lavender: *big gross sniffles*

Parvati: I could fetch a pot of tea from the kitchens if you like? 

Parvati returns to her book. The fire crackles merrily in the silence.

Lavender: Oh good, even better. I get to be alone for nine months.

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