what name do i even use

anonymous asked:

is everything just purely irrelevant in the end

maybe, maybe not. even if everything we as humans ever did was irrelevant in the grand scheme of “the end”, everything and everyone is still necessary and balance out the divinity of the universe. so i guess what i’m saying is… whether you think life is meaningless or it’s not, you were put here to do whatever you end up doing, be that big or small. 

but i feel you, i’m crippled by the knowledge that i put myself through suffering to “accomplish something useful”, even though in 1,000 years nobody will even remember my name. it’s a weird, quite depressing idea if you really expand on it, and resonate with it. 

Today my podcast made a comment about how you don’t HAVE to send out Christmas cards because they are expensive and a lot of work (they talked about ways to survive the holidays and self care during the holidays) and i was like ….. DUH!

Every year I scramble to send them out, getting the addresses together, making my list, adding a new name every day to my list, stressing about paying for the shipping so they come in time, getting the stamps. Then the actual work to stuff the envelopes, put the address stickers on…. I probably spend $50-$75 a year doing this because I have to order so many cards and so many stamps. Even figuring out what photo to use ( and making Gavin pose ) is stressful. Dan doesn’t want to be in the photo, the dog doesn’t cooperate. Having to order them and figure out Shutterfly or cvs or whatever… and plus half of the people I send them to… don’t even send us a card. Plus they just go in the trash eventually!!!

So why the fuck am I wasting all this time and money???? Dan sure as hell isnt going to do it. Gavin is too little to help.

So I’m done. I’m not doing it this year. If someone wants a photo of Gavin they can ask for it and I’ll gladly send them a photo. But I’m not wasting my time (or money) this year.


I FEEL SO FREEEE.

Aries: You can’t hide in trauma forever. I know, it’s tempting. Calling your name out to you. Begging you to use it as an excuse to go back to every hold habit you tried so hard to kick. Eventually you have to stop hiding under covers and face what your world looks like now.

Taurus: You’re not invisible I promise. People are watching. Ever vigilant should the dark thoughts come back. All you have to do is ask for us, and we will come. We will come even if you don’t ask, but we see the smoke of everything burning. It’s okay. You have not been forgotten.

Gemini: Take a breath. You’re not at war anymore. There is no more battles to wage. You have won them all. Smile and sit back. Enjoy the victory. You have earned it. No one cares what you did to win. We just care that you came back home.

Cancer: Stop letting their words dictate your future. You’re worth more then that. More then what those small fools can see. I know you don’t know if you can believe me. But I promise you, you are meant for bigger and better things. You just have to be willing to want it.

Leo: Stop running. Whatever was chasing you lost your scent long ago. I know you think it’s the only thing you can do anymore, but stop. Learn to let the world stand still without being scared. It’s okay now.

Virgo :Don’t let the darkness back in. It comes around for you this time of year like clockwork. Do not let it come back in. Do not use this time as an excuse. You are so much better than this bullshit that surrounds you.

Libra: You can’t ever go back, as much as you want to. Don’t loose out on what’s happening now just because you’re mourning and missing what could of been. Lift up your gaze and try and smile. You’ll only get a moment like this once.

Scorpio:Stop using their words as an excuse to hate what you see in the mirror. They don’t know you. Stop trying to destroy yourself when it’s so much easier to make repairs. I know it’s scary, but you are worth saving.

Sagittarius: It’s okay to start over. It’s okay to begin again. I know it’s terrifying. But you will never get anywhere if you just stay standing perfectly still. The first steps always the hardest.

Capricorn: Don’t forget who you were, or you’ll forget the lessons it taught you. Don’t try and erase your past. Show your scars off, you earned those fuckers. You’re still standing. That’s something to be proud of.

Aquarius: I know it hurts more then you think you can manage. But here’s the shocker, you are managing.  You are getting up every day despite all of it. Don’t focus on tomorrow. Just focus on getting through the next 5 minutes. Because that’s really all you need.

Pisces: Not doing something because you’re scared of ruining it is a sorry excuse, and you know it. Nothing is as fragile as you give it credit for. You are not some bull in a china shop. You are safe here. Don’t be scared.

—  This weeks horoscope 
Public School Is A Goddamn Disater, Part 2: The Lovecraftian Madness of Machismo

Part 1 here, AKA: the Mantisocalypse (you don;t have to read it to understand this one, but you should anyway)

Content Warnings: Mental Illness, Attempted Murder, Sexual Content, Stalking, Abuse, Animal Abuse Mention, Emetophobia, US Public Education, Military Industrial Complex.  I’ve been told this is my most disturbing story, even if it’s hilarious, so mind your health.  All the names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent and Not-So-Innocent.

This is the story of Recruiting Sergeant Scott VS. The Lacrosse Jocks VS. Yours truly.

To understand this story, you must understand the dystopian hellscape that is US Public High School- I went to the NICE high school in town, with the AP curriculum and new building, where the the kids were generally too obsessed with getting into the ivy league to do anything worse than occasionally smoke on the roof.  Not even weed, just regular cigs.  During their off-periods, so they’d have time to febreeze their clothes and arrive to their next class early.  You know, the most boring fucking kids ever.

AND STILL, we were subjected to the various scourges of US public ed, namely-

-on-campus police officers and regular “what to do in case of a columbine event” drill.  We had Officer Munoz, who was a wonderful Latina Woman with the good sense to focus her efforts on getting kids away from abusive parents rather than persecuting brown kids, but we were VERY lucky on that front.  Still, having someone walking around with a gun and technically the authority to kill you, and having to hide in the science cabinets three times a year fucks you up.  Remember Officer Munoz though, She is Important.

- A weird, cult-like, frankly masturbatory attitude regarding athletic achievement.  The arts and sciences were stuck doing bake sales for supplies while the gym got re-done two years after the school opened.  This was tempered in an odd way at my school in that literally all the sports teams unequivocally sucked, with the exception of 

1.Marching Band, which went to nationals twice in the first two years the school was open 

2.Knowledge Bowl, where kevin and I took the team to 3rd in state in our first year, and only lost because Kevin had an asthma attack so we decided to let the other teams fight over the ‘lesser’ medals 

3.Lacrosse, which didn’t actually didn’t GO anywhere, but was a “real” sport and beat our ‘rival’ school, so the team got to be Big Men On Campus, and get away with all kinds of nonsense like eating in class when everyone else was forbidden or skipping tests for ‘practice’.  The three worst offenders were Dustin, Jack and “Rattlesnake Pete”, all of whom were budding neo-nazis and thus signed up for German.  With our Jewish teacher.  Remember them too.

-On-campus military recruiters.  As in, people who are legally allowed to exaggerate, manipulate and actually lie to minors to convince them to join the armed forces.  Ours was Sergeant Scott, and as much of a skeevy rat as he was I honestly felt bad for him, because remember, academic magnet high school so he had three kinds of kids to work with:

  • Kids who made the physical standards for the armed forces and were all about honoring their country via physical labor, but were dumb as shit and couldn’t pass the written exam.
  • Kids who could pass the written exam and were totally ready to bully some people in the third world, but couldn’t do a pull up if you covered the gym floor in cobras.
  • Kids who passed the physical and mental portions but were uniformly rabidly anti-military industrial complex, to the point where 35 of them crammed into his cubicle in the office he shared with Officer Munoz and Janitor Wendy, so they could hold a sit-in protest of the Iraq war and chant “Impeach Bush” and “War is Murder” at him  Someone chucked red paint on him, because they’re furious immature teenagers.  It was his first day.

Poor bastard.  Remember Him as well.

Keep reading

Joseph Christiansen Secret/Cult Ending Manuscript

I went digging through the Level 18 gibberish and sorted out all the dialogue into a manageable manuscript if anyone is interested in reading this secret wild ride. None of the dialogue is labeled so I did my best to interpret who was saying what so any mistakes are my bad. It took a few hours to put together but I felt like some people would like more than just a summary so here is the full text:

MC will be short for Main Character or your player.

** edit 07/26/17: minor text fixes, better formatting, the insertion of more images (courtesy of purpledragon42) , and insert of a working readmore **

Level 18- Joseph Bad Ending or True Ending ( Who knows? )

This appears to take place after MC and Joseph Christiansen engage in sex in the yacht, except you don’t wake up to what you expect. This takes place in Cult_Dungeon1.

(Photo Credits: Game Grumps)

START: You’re A Monster

MC:

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. What time is it? Must have been asleep for ages. I wonder what will happen now that Mary is gone? What about Joseph’s kids? And how will Amanda feel about all this? That’s what matters… . Well, we all have each other. I guess time will tell, right? Better get up and greet the day.

Am I tied up?! What the hell?! How did I get here? What’s going on?! Joseph? Anybody?

You’re probably just dreaming. Why would there be a… Don’t panic… . a dungeon. An evil dungeon. Why would there be an evil dungeon here? This can’t be real. Maybe I had too much Twilight Rouge. I’m dreaming, or something.

???:

Oh, I guarantee this is real.

Keep reading

Traffic with the batfamily
  • *In a car*
  • Damian: Dont you do it Dick, you know how he gets
  • Dick: what? So I cant play..-
  • Tim: DONT EVEN SAY HIS NAME!!
  • Jason: Hey, whats that CD?
  • Damian: WHAT THE FUCK DICK!!
  • Dick: DONT CUSS AT ME YOU ONLY 10!!!
  • Damian: IM 13!!
  • Dick: I DONT CARE YOUR A CHILD!
  • *Dick about to insert disc*
  • Tim: *gasp* Dont do it.. think about us, okay just take a moment..
  • Dick: there is no going back..
  • *Inserts disc*
  • Jason: Is this.. is this what I think it is
  • Tim: I am sorry Damian I tried to stop him
  • Jason: WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY MY FATHER TOOK TO THE CITY TO SEE A MARCHING BAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Damian: *Whispers* I actually dont understand the notes are quiet
  • Dick: *Whispers back* Do not act like you dont blast history maker in the car
since y’all love talking about big three privilege, here’s a look at their current status

sm - 

exo: given underproduced music for comeback album and repackage, relying solely on fan support to stay at the top because sm refuses to give them proper promotions

red velvet: having their unique sound butchered and losing fans to other 3rd gen girl groups because sm is hellbent on giving them cuter music so they can compete with the popular new groups (see: russian roulette and rookie)

f(x): where? all i see is amber’s vlogs

shinee: haven’t come back in over a year, somewhat due to onew’s scandal but at least taemin’s out here reminding people that michael jackson is alive and well, keeping shinee’s name alive so they don’t fade into obscurity 

snsd: nobody knows who’s still in the group, had one of the worst promotion cycles ever for their TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY. 

super junior: coming back but sm is doing 0 promo

nct: what even is their concept anymore? why is the seoul unit promoting in japan?? why are so many people still in the basement?

yg - 

blackpink: getting a reality show and apparently that’s supposed to make us feel better that they only have 5 songs???? why does yg hate women?

ikon: where?

winner: tbh i don’t pay attention to winner but i’m pretty sure yg’s fucking up somehow since i hardly ever hear anything about them

big bang: forever kings but after top’s scandal, we don’t know if they’ll ever come back as five again

jyp - 

day6: has grown in popularity this year but jyp still won’t give them the same chances and promotion as they give their idol groups

twice: overworked and need time off, no song between tt and likey ever happened why did jyp taint their discography like that

got7: had a comeback but didn’t go to weekly idol or after school club?? how can you have a got7 comeback and not put them on asc??? that’s their birthplace?? why did jyp have them drop a mini album and then forget about them two days later? why are they doing japanese promotions already? they just came back yesterday damn

yes. so much privilege. 

Best and worst parts of a potential V route:

Best:

  • seeing this man smile
  • taking away some of his pain
  • encouraging him to trust and confide in his friends 
    • you can’t do it all on your own, v 
    • you don’t have to take everyone else’s burdens, v 
    • let us help you
  • more information about all the other characters
    • yoosung and his high school days 
    • pretty much anything about jumin since dude never shares the past
    • zen’s wilder teenage years 
    • more about jaehee, i don’t even care what, just gimmie 
    • more about rika and hopefully whatever the hell her real name is
    • seven and saeran and things about the choi bois that aren’t pure angst
    • driver kim and his favorite dad jokes 
      • v making dad jokes with him
  • new phone calls! 
    • v has the voice of an angel and i am ready to sin
  • new chat rooms!
  • new text messages!
  • new CGs! 
  • v getting his own emojis! 
  • learning about his childhood 
    • finally figuring out what happened to his mother 
  • talking about succulents and cacti and his love of desert plants
  • hearing why he named elizabeth the 3rd that
    • learning what other odd names he comes up with 
  • passionate rambling about photography 
  • seeing more of v’s photography!
  • if they include mint eye, actually learning about it 
  • why does he have 20 spoons in his house??? v, tell us your secrets 
  • watching v be a philosopher 
    • while jumin is a scientist 
    • their banter though
  • yoosung hopefully producing some hilarious rants about v 
    • and them making up and both finding peace
    • watching the rants stop being sad and funny and then just funny 
    • v please play along 
  •  more shitposting
    • oh boy 3 AM! 
  • v trolling the chats 
  • potential new ending where some people aren’t worse off than at the beginning 
    • yoosung and zen aren’t in the dark 
      • and yoosung isn’t idolizing rika anymore
    • jumin isn’t miserable and alone 
  • rika is held accountable for her actions 
    • the people she brainwashed and hurt get justice 
  • getting this man out of the horrifically abusive and toxic relationship he’s in
  • watching him heal
  • jihyun kim being happy 

Worst:

  • those bad endings are going to be bad
    • who is up for sacrificing their soul and getting them first to spare the rest of us the pain?
    • y’know. like v does. 
  • watching v idealize rika and not see what their relationship is truly like
    • having to see more of what she’s put him through
    • the abuse is bad enough, don’t let it get worse 
  • v possibly making more mistakes
    • “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”
  • new information about other characters being depressing as hell
    • good that we know more about them
    • but how much more can my heart take?
  • watching yoosung and jumin Suffer™   
    • hello potential unrequited love, how are you today?
  • probably more things that the good parts override because this man being healthy and happy is so important!!
blue’s voltron bayard ability being unlocked + consequences?

i think that allura is going to unlock blue’s bayard ability in voltron and that it’s going to be a sort of catalyst for lance’s insecurities that we’ve been watching build up.

first off, i’d like to say that allura is an excellent paladin, progressing much MUCH faster than any of the other paladins we’ve seen. even with the rough start, she really is turning out to be her father’s daughter– she unlocked blue’s freeze ray AND the sonic amplifier in ONE episode, when it’s taken everyone else the course of two seasons to unlock these lion specific abilities. technically, she’s learning so fast it’s almost scary. i mean, imagine if the rest of the paladins had picked up their lions abilities this quick?

allura is quite literally the most naturally talented paladin we’ve seen so far, with a great connection to blue, and it’s clearly noticeable. as a matter of fact, allura’s excellence + (clone?) shiro’s return is why we have this room scene with lance and keith, where lance even points out what a great job allura is doing.

furthermore, we see keith agree with lance here, going “that’s true.” i’m pretty sure that lance is directly foreshadowing future seasons in this scene here. we’ve seen keith unlock voltron’s sword, pidge unlock voltron’s shield, hunk unlock the shoulder canon, and shiro unlock voltron’s wings– but we have yet to see the physical manifestation of the blue lion in voltron. it’s almost like a secret? we didn’t even see blue’s ability in the flashback with the original paladins, when we saw the red lion’s sword, green lion’s shield, and the black lions wings being put to use. so why haven’t we, by the third season, seen what the blue lion can do?

because allura, our fastest progressing paladin, will be the one to unlock it! which is GREAT, i’m excited and already super proud of her, but i think that there WILL be consequences to this. namely, lance’s reaction to not being the one to unlock blue’s ability. as pointed out in this great post, lance and keith’s conversation here was a good attempt at communication, but overall, a failure. lance didn’t leave that interaction with any of his insecurities/concerns actually assuaged– he still thinks that he’s the least capable “soldier” out of the paladins and i think that when allura unlocks the blue lion’s next ability this scene here is seriously gonna come back to bite us. we’ve been receiving hints of lance’s personal doubts and insecurities for awhile and i think that this is where we’re gonna see lance finally hit his boiling point and decide that he’s not fit to be a paladin.

seeing as how the clone shiro theories are turning out pretty solid, and that we saw pidge by herself (going after matt?) in the japanese s3/4 trailer, i think that lance’s insecurities peaking and him deciding to take some sort of drastic action is going to be one of many events that’s gonna lead to team voltron falling apart in future seasons…. hopefully, only briefly.

Five Seconds (Richie Tozier x Reader)

Richie Tozier x Fem!Reader

*Please don’t plagiarize my work, thank you :3*

Summary: When you confessed to Richie, you got the expected response, but that doesn’t mean it hurt any less. Not even a week later he decides to talk to you, not so subtly jealous about you spending time with Ben. Things sort of…escalate from there.

Warnings: Cussing and Kissing. (oh no, not kissing! *parents screaming, children crying, Ohio catches on fire*) This is a request. DON’T HESITATE TO SEND IN REQUESTS. (Don’t send in like 50 tho. I still need sleep.)

Word Count: 1,697


“Can I t-talk to you.”

Richie stops laughing at Stan and, still giggling, turns to you. “Yeah, what’s up?”

You glance over Richie’s shoulder to see Beverly shoot you a thumbs up. “I’ve been, well- It was Beverly’s idea! But for a while now…” You stumbled over words, trying to soften the embarrassing blow of ‘I have a crush on you’.

“I like you!” You blurt, deciding to get it over with. “I l-like you as more than a friend.”

There’s a moment of silence in which you count the seconds that painfully tick by.

One. Richie’s mouth opens and closes, you can see his eyes dart to the other boys. They’re whooping and hollering, pushing him and giggling like idiots.

Two. You can feel the headrush hit you hard, along with waves of nausea.

Three. Teasing smiles stay on the boys’ faces, but Beverly’s melts off. She knows. She knows what’s going to happen.

Four. Richie’s ears turn fire hydrant red as you grow pale and faint. His eyes once again scan the boys, who continue to tease without mercy. You close your eyes, wishing they’d stop. There would be nothing to celebrate.

Five. “I’m s-sorry…”

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I have so many Anduin feels

Clearly, if you couldn’t tell, and I wanted to write it down otherwise I feel like I might explode from emotions. This entire cinematic was beyond beautiful. Blizzard really went above and beyond in the artistic department - everything looked so damn -real-, which took my breath away. But the main thing that really struck with me is the fact that you can clearly see Anduin’s personality in this moment. So please excuse me, but there’s a lot of pics and a long opinion below the cut.


When we first see him, he’s got the lion helmet on, looking all badass. Even after he’s knocked off his feet, he gets back up and proceeds to go after the troll who tries to kill him, granting us this amazing image -

Looks like he’s channeling Varian to me. He’s standing all, big and trying to be imposing. And almost immediately after, they focus on his face, going from this -

- to this -

Look at him. Look at that face. This isn’t a life-long trained/skilled warrior. This isn’t a battle-hardened paladin who’s fought for years and years. This is a child, a teenager (WoWpedia says seventeen, and we all know how Blizzard is with lore, but it does sound about right), who has been shielded from the harshness of actual war for most of his life. War is brutal; war is dirty and cruel and this world has seen it constantly. And I don’t know how much time will have passed from Legion to this expansion, but regardless.

He looks so sad, almost out of place and worried, and just…-scared-. Like the sudden realization of what he’s in the middle of, of what he’s leading here - not Genn, not his father, him. He’s the one who’s leading the armies of the Alliance, thousands of soldiers against an army equally as powerful. Stormwind and the Alliance could fall in this moment and it would be his fault. And I think it all comes at him at once. This is what his father was talking about, it’s what he was trying to protect him from.

But this is Anduin we’re talking about. This isn’t a warmongering character, we all know how much he would prefer to solve things peacefully, and (I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Blizzard doesn’t totally and completely butcher his character of course) it must have been something to drive him to this point. Look - His mother died when he was a baby, his father was gone most of his life and was only around for a few precious years before he was killed, his ‘aunt’ Jaina has been MIA until lately and Velen is who knows where. I’m hoping we’ll get an answer to that between then and now, but my point is this - Anduin, High King of the Alliance, leader that everyone looks to for guidance and support, really doesn’t have a support system himself. He doesn’t have anyone he can really depend on. The only one who’s been shown to constantly be around is Genn, and whether for good or ill, I suppose it’s something, but it’s not enough. He’s probably been struggling to keep things together for a while. I doubt he’s been eating or sleeping much.

And what does he do, surrounded by death and destruction of hundreds of lives? We see that looks around the battlefield in a moment of calm and is clearly distressed by it. 


It’s in this moment that I think he really shines, no pun intended. We know what his father would do in this situation, we know what other characters would do. But Anduin is different, it’s what makes him so special in this game. He looks at his father’s sword, a sword of legend no less - 

You can see the confusion, the uncertainty, the self-doubt even now. Shalamayne responded to him yes, but you can absolutely see him still coming to terms with it. He still feels like he isn’t worthy of it.  
“I cannot do this father. I can’t be the hero you were. I can’t be the king you were…”

And no, he isn’t. That’s what I love him. He’s his own man, finally able to step up and make his own imprint on history. Because of that, I think it’s important to note the imagery of him throwing the sword back down - 


Something about this really strikes me not only as beautiful but incredibly moving as well. There is some very deep in this shot. He’s beginning to accept the fact that no, he isn’t his father. No, he isn’t a warrior. That isn’t his path. What does he do instead, then, when surrounded by injured and dying soldiers? Do what he does best, of course - 

Heal. Resurrect. Anduin has had an affinity with the Light that few have had before, especially humans. We know this and it’s really beautiful to finally see it in such a wonderful cinematic. I think it’s really touching that if you look closely you can even see tears in his eyes -

We know from lore that Anduin has resurrected his father before, which is something that happens so rarely in canon. Casting such a spell for one person would be difficult enough, but an entire army? That’s practically impossible. We also know that for a character to channel such a spell for a long period of time takes a lot of stamina and strength. It’s exhausting. But he doesn’t give up. He doesn’t stop to take a breather. He stands tall with the rejuvenated army surrounding him once more.

“Stand as one!”

Which just hearkens back to previous cinematics, I think. 

“What am I supposed to do now?”
“What a king -must- do.”


“For the Alliance!”

What I find most interesting is that he doesn’t say ‘For Azeroth!’ like his father in the previous expansion, he says Alliance. Which makes me wonder just what has happened to cause all of this. 

The point of all this rambling is this - Anduin Llane Wrynn has been underestimated both by other characters as well as players for too long. Many people call him names for wanting to find a peaceful way to solve problems and for some reason that’s a bad thing? I don’t understand it, but I’m so happy and proud to see him standing alongside us on the battlefield. This boy does not get enough credit and I’m glad they finally have let him do something amazing. He is much stronger than I think even he realizes, and I would love it if people would finally give him the love and recognition he deserves. 

Anduin is too good for this world and we don’t deserve him.

TSInktober Day 5: a Pokémon inspired by your favorite Autumn treat. Used my iPad again even though that’s not really what you’re supposed to do because I just can’t do anything less convenient right now. Embarrassingly enough, I don’t know much about Pokémon (never got into it as a kid), so like…I don’t know what this dude’s stats would be…but it’s name is Caryan and it’s based on a pecan pie!

SKAM S04E06 Clip 5 - Let’s go bitches

ISAK: Hello.

SANA: Hi.

EVEN: Hi, Sana.

ISAK: Where did you see it last?

EVEN: I don’t know. I think it’s in the bed, but I can’t find it. I’m sorry I’m stressing. I have to make it to work on time for once.

SANA: What a nice place.

ISAK: Thank you. Snooped around flea markets and picked out the cheapest stuff.

EVEN: You call that snooping?

ISAK: Yeah, I guess it’s that. Took the first -

EVEN: We were able to get quite a lot of stuff.

ISAK: Huh?

EVEN: We were able to get quite a lot of stuff.

ISAK: Yeah.

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anonymous asked:

Any tips for writing the character's personalities and speech? Thank you.

Here’s a piece of unflavored base dialogue vs how it would sound from each of the main 3:

Hello. Thank you for coming to meet me here. I have something important to tell you. First, let’s order something. [order]. Anyway, we have to stop seeing each other. It makes me very sad and I wish it didn’t have to be this way. But what can I do? Choose you over [important life choice]? I can’t do that. I’m sorry, but this is goodbye.

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little tattoos

hello! this is my first REAL fic for reddie

i dunno how well this will do BUT 

please give me feedback! i really appreciate it

btw they’re sophomores in HS bc i enjoy the thought of the losers in HS

also: IT doesn’t exist in this fic woo

happiness for everyone

summary: a soulmate au where everyone has a tattoo exactly like their soulmate

pairing: eddie and richie

words: 710



Soulmates exist. Every baby is born with a small tattoo on their body, while another baby is born with the same one in the same place. That’s how you find your soulmate; your tattoo. Everybody has one.

Well, almost everybody.

Eddie Kaspbrak had no tattoo, no soulmate. He scoured every inch of his little body, just to come up short. It was common for people to talk about their ink, so when people found out he didn’t have one they treated him like a freak. Henry Bowers was the first to start it. Eddie had been shoved inside of a locker, the word ‘freak’ sprawled across his forehead in permanent marker. Stan discovered him after he heard banging in the locker room after his baseball practice.


Stan opened the locker, the small boy falling out and onto the ground. Eddie was hyperventilating, rapidly searching for his inhaler he kept in his bookbag. He had thrown away his fanny pack months ago (one less thing for Bowers to bully him about) and just kept a spare inhaler for when he needed it. But he couldn’t find it.

The small pocket he usually kept it in was empty, just containing candy wrappers that Richie had shoved in there when Eddie wasn’t looking instead of throwing them away. He started to panic, his breathing getting shallower with every passing second.

That’s when Richie ran into the room, Bill close behind him. “Eds!” He said worriedly, immediately getting down on the ground with him so he could see what was wrong. It hit Richie that he needed his inhaler, no matter how bullshit his asthma was. He grabbed his backpack, unzipped it, and shook the contents out and onto the floor. A light blue inhaler sat atop the pile of papers. Richie grabbed it, shoving it into Eddie’s mouth a little too forcefully.

Eddie shakily pressed down on the inhaler. It took a couple puffs for his breath to dwindle back to a semi-normal pace.

“W-Why did you have an inhaler?” Eddie asked, still shaking slightly from the adrenaline and fear.

Richie smiled. “I knew you’d need it when I took your breath away, Eds!”


Eddie got on his tippy-toes, reaching his Social Studies textbook that he placed on the top shelf of his locker that was just a bit too tall for him to reach.

“Hey, Eds!” Richie said loudly, walking up to the smaller boy.

“Don’t call me that, Richie. I’ve told you a million times.”

“You love it, Eds!”

Eddie rolled his eyes, closing his locker. He started to walk towards his first class, which just so happened to be with Bill and Stan. Richie threw his arm around Eddie, talking his mouth off but Eddie wasn’t paying attention. He was trying to hide the blush that invaded his face. Eddie knew he wasn’t straight, especially when his stomach twisted into nervousness and his heart started to race when he was around Richie. But that wasn’t allowed. Richie wasn’t Eddie’s soulmate. He never would be.

Richie had a small balloon on the pointer finger knuckle on his right hand. It was visible when he used that finger to push his glasses farther up on his nose. Richie Tozier had a soulmate, and it wasn’t Eddie.

Richie headed to his English class down the hall, but not without getting in a last “see ya later, Eds!”

Eddie sat down at their table of three, Bill and Stan taking the other two seats next to each other. They were soulmates. The boys found out when they were 13, both of them having a tulip on their inner left elbow. Even Bill’s little brother Georgie found his soulmate; a girl in his 3rd-grade class with the same paper boat on her right knee.

“D-Do you wanna hang out with us a-after school?” Bill asked, rubbing his thumb on the back of Stan’s hand, shooting him a small, quick smile.

Eddie nodded. “I’m down as long as we watch something other than rom-com’s this time.”

Stan chuckled lightly, agreeing to Eddie’s request. “You’re the only one that can come. Even Richie is busy doing God knows what.”

Richie. Richie, Richie, Richie. Even his name made Eddie’s chest tighten.

He had it bad, really bad.


masterlist

request/talk to me

part two has been written! read it here

thank you for reading <3

let me know if you’d like a part two! (i really wanna write it i have such a good idea)

I’m super grateful and so excited to play for an audience that would never necessarily know who our band is, because Harry Styles and Warpaint are not necessarily in the same genre of music. I’m not a snob, when it comes to that. I do like his solo record. I think he’s rad. I watched the One Direction documentary on the plane years ago and I fell in love with all of those boys and how hard they work. It’s not the same genre, but fuck it, all music should be like that. I think there should be more shows like that, where it’s eclectic. Introduce people to different kinds of music. It doesn’t just have to be one thing. He actually asked us to go. He’s a really big fan of Stella — he really loves her drumming. So he was like, ‘Hey, do you guys wanna open up?’ And it was like, 'Fuck, yeah, that sounds amazing.’ In Asia, crowds we have never ever played in front of. I’m stoked.

I just think it’s important to be open and it’s important to not be a snob. It’s especially important to support your comrades, even if they don’t play the same music as you. That’s boring, to be closed-minded — I don’t like that attitude. I think having gratitude and being so excited, that we even have this job — it’s a dope job! I’m not singling anyone out…if I don’t like some band because it’s not my taste, then I might say 'You know what, I’m just actually not into it.’ Not gonna mention any names, but we have gotten some offers before…I don’t have any qualms with [Styles’] music. I think what he’s doing is great. It’s not on heavy rotation at home, but I like it.

What’s cool is that he actually asked us. He asked us, which means he’s into our band. I don’t think booking agents would’ve ever paired us together. It was a personal request, so I’m even more flattered that he’s giving us that opportunity to play in front of other people. And that shows what kind of person he is, where he’s like, 'Oh, I want them to open up, I want the world to hear them.’ He’s kinda supporting us, which is cool. That’s what tour support should be.

“You should fuck her to make her realize she’s gay.” He said this about me during a cast and crew “meet and greet” before we began filming, X Men: The Last Stand. I was eighteen years old. He looked at a woman standing next to me, ten years my senior, pointed to me and said: “You should fuck her to make her realize she’s gay.” He was the film’s director, Brett Ratner.

I was a young adult who had not yet come out to myself. I knew I was gay, but did not know, so to speak. I felt violated when this happened. I looked down at my feet, didn’t say a word and watched as no one else did either. This man, who had cast me in the film, started our months of filming at a work event with this horrific, unchallenged plea. He “outed” me with no regard for my well-being, an act we all recognize as homophobic. I proceeded to watch him on set say degrading things to women. I remember a woman walking by the monitor as he made a comment about her “flappy pussy”.

We are all entitled to come into an awareness of our sexual orientation privately and on our own terms. I was young and although already a working actor for so long I had in many ways been insulated, growing up on film sets instead of surrounded by my peers. This public, aggressive outing left me with long standing feelings of shame, one of the most destructive results of homophobia. Making someone feel ashamed of who they are is a cruel manipulation, designed to oppress and repress. I was robbed of more than autonomy over my ability to define myself. Ratner’s comment replayed in my mind many times over the years as I encountered homophobia and coped with feelings of reluctance and uncertainty about the industry and my future in it. The difference is that I can now assert myself and use my voice to to fight back against the insidious queer and transphobic attitude in Hollywood and beyond. Hopefully having the position I have, I can help people who may be struggling to be accepted and allowed to be who they are –to thrive. Vulnerable young people without my advantages are so often diminished and made to feel they have no options for living the life they were meant to joyously lead.

I got into an altercation with Brett at a certain point. He was pressuring me, in front of many people, to don a t-shirt with “Team Ratner” on it. I said no and he insisted. I responded, “I am not on your team.” Later in the day, producers of the film came to my trailer to say that I “couldn’t talk like that to him.” I was being reprimanded, yet he was not being punished nor fired for the blatantly homophobic and abusive behavior we all witnessed. I was an actor that no one knew. I was eighteen and had no tools to know how to handle the situation.

I have been a professional actor since the age of ten. I’ve had the good fortune to work with many honorable and respectful collaborators both behind and in front of the camera. But the behavior I’m describing is ubiquitous. They (abusers), want you to feel small, to make you insecure, to make you feel like you are indebted to them, or that your actions are to blame for their unwelcome advances.

When I was sixteen a director took me to dinner (a professional obligation and a very common one). He fondled my leg under the table and said, “You have to make the move, I can’t.” I did not make the move and I was fortunate to get away from that situation. It was a painful realization: my safety was not guaranteed at work. An adult authority figure for whom I worked intended to exploit me, physically. I was sexually assaulted by a grip months later. I was asked by a director to sleep with a man in his late twenties and to tell them about it. I did not. This is just what happened during my sixteenth year, a teenager in the entertainment industry.

Look at the history of what’s happened to minors who’ve described sexual abuse in Hollywood. Some of them are no longer with us, lost to substance abuse and suicide. Their victimizers? Still working. Protected even as I write this. You know who they are; they’ve been discussed behind closed doors as often as Weinstein was. If I, a person with significant privilege, remain reluctant and at such risk simply by saying a person’s name, what are the options for those who do not have what I have?

Let’s remember the epidemic of violence against women in our society disproportionately affects low income women, particularly women of color, trans and queer women and indigenous women, who are silenced by their economic circumstances and profound mistrust of a justice system that acquits the guilty in the face of overwhelming evidence and continues to oppress people of color. I have the means to hire security if I feel threatened. I have the wealth and insurance to receive mental health care. I have the privilege of having a platform that enables me to write this and have it published, while the most marginalized do not have access to such resources. The reality is, women of color, trans and queer and indigenous women have been leading this fight for decades (forever actually). Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Winona LaDuke, Miss Major, Audre Lorde, bell hooks, to name a few. Misty Upham fought tirelessly to end violence against indigenous women, domestic workers and undocumented women. Misty was found dead at the bottom of a cliff three years ago. Her father, Charles Upham, just made a Facebook post saying she was raped at a party by a Miramax executive. The most marginalized have been left behind. As a cis, white lesbian, I have benefited and have the privileges I have, because of these extraordinary and courageous individuals who have led the way and risked their lives while doing so. White supremacy continues to silence people of color, while I have the rights I have because of these leaders. They are who we should be listening to and learning from.

These abusers make us feel powerless and overwhelmed by their empire. Let’s not forget the sitting Supreme Court justice and President of the United States. One accused of sexual harassment by Anita Hill, whose testimony was discredited. The other proudly describing his own pattern of assault to an entertainment reporter. How many men in the media – titans of industry - need to be exposed for us to understand the gravity of the situation and to demand the fundamental safety and respect that is our right?

Bill Cosby was known to be predatory. The crimes were his, but many were complicit. Many more chose to look the other way. Harvey was known to be predatory. The crimes were his, but many were complicit. Many more chose to look the other way. We continue to celebrate filmmaker Roman Polanski, who was convicted of drugging and anally raping a young girl and who fled sentencing. A fugitive from justice. I’ve heard the industry decry Weinstein’s behavior and vow to affect meaningful change. But let’s be truthful: the list is long and still protected by the status quo. We have work to do. We cannot look the other way.

I did a Woody Allen movie and it is the biggest regret of my career. I am ashamed I did this. I had yet to find my voice and was not who I am now and felt pressured, because “of course you have to say yes to this Woody Allen film.” Ultimately, however, it is my choice what films I decide to do and I made the wrong choice. I made an awful mistake.

I want to see these men have to face what they have done. I want them to not have power anymore. I want them to sit and think about who they are without their lawyers, their millions, their fancy cars, houses upon houses, their “playboy” status and swagger.

What I want the most, is for this to result in healing for the victims. For Hollywood to wake up and start taking some responsibility for how we all have played a role in this. I want us to reflect on this endemic issue and how this power dynamic of abuse leads to an enormous amount of suffering. Violence against women is an epidemic in this country and around the world. How is this cascade of immorality and injustice shaping our society? One of the greatest risks to a pregnant woman’s health in the United States is murder. Trans women of color in this country have a life expectancy of thirty-five. Why are we not addressing this as a society? We must remember the consequences of such actions. Mental health issues, suicide, eating disorders, substance abuse, to name a few.

What are we afraid to say and why can’t we say it? Women, particularly the most marginalized, are silenced, while powerful abusers can scream as loudly as they want, lie as much as they want and continue to profit through it all.

This is a long awaited reckoning. It must be. It’s sad that“codes of conduct” have to be enforced to ensure we experience fundamental human decency and respect. Inclusion and representation are the answer. We’ve learned that the status quo perpetuates unfair, victimizing behavior to protect and perpetuate itself. Don’t allow this behavior to be normalized. Don’t compare wrongs or criminal acts by their degrees of severity. Don’t allow yourselves to be numb to the voices of victims coming forward. Don’t stop demanding our civil rights. I am grateful to anyone and everyone who speaks out against abuse and trauma they have suffered. You are breaking the silence. You are revolution.

– Ellen Page

Sugar and Spice

Context: The players convinced an npc bandit to help them and he rolled well and managed to convince his boss to let him take the two dogs guarding the camp away so the players only had to fight the boss. Afterwards they find said bandit tied to a tree because the dogs got their leashes tangled around it.

Fighter ooc: Can I pick up the dogs?

DM: What about the stuff the bandits stole from the people that you’re carrying?

Fighter ooc: I’ll just leave it here, we’ll send someone back here later to get it.

DM: Okay, uh make a strength check then.

Fighter: Succeeds.

DM: Okay, you pick up both dogs, one under each arm.

Fighter ooc: Awesome! We have dogs now!

DM: Uh, what?

Fighter ooc: We’re keeping them.

DM: Do any of you even have animal handling?

Rogue ooc: You made us kill four dogs already, we’re keeping these ones!

Cleric ooc: We’re keep them.

Next session a week later

Fighter ooc: I’m going to go check on Sugar and Spice.

DM: Wha-who? Omg is that what you named the dogs?

Fighter ooc: Yup.

DM: I love it.

anonymous asked:

do you have any hcs about how andrew and neil come out and how does the public react and stuff??

Do I ever!!! Okay, so this is probably gonna be a shortened version of my idea that I have thought about way too often, way too much. But maybe I’ll get super out of hand with it. Who knows?

  • Kevin Day is getting bad publicity and the media is dragging him for something
  • (Maybe a drunken incident and his drinking problem? Idk exactly… This isn’t really the important part, it’s just set-up)
  • So, anyways, exy’s golden boy is getting a lot of negative media attention
  • Neil feels bad and wants to help shift some of the focus off of Kevin
  • Especially after Kevin told Wymack he was his father for Neil when Neil needed attention shifted off of him
  • Neil talks about this with Andrew, trying to figure out what he’s gonna do to distract from Kevin as much as possible
  • He’s not at all expecting Andrew to make suggestions or want to get involved
  • He’s just thinking out loud and maybe seeing if Andrew wants to shoot down any ideas as the worst that he should definitely not do
  • But Andrew likes being needed by the monsters and Kevin is his baby bird to look after
  • And he doesn’t really give a shit if people know he’s with Neil
  • Like his life isn’t their fucking business, but he can handle people knowing and it’s not like it’d be the worst thing the media’s broadcast about him
  • So, he pitches the idea as casually as if he were suggesting they order pizza later

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