what more can you ask for in a man


“This man reaches the very bottom and then more. … You think, How much more can this guy take? He’s broken, he gets up again, he’s broken — and that’s really what makes him a superhero. A lot of people have asked me, “What makes him a superhero?” That’s really the answer I should have given. It’s not the Cloak of Levitation. It’s not the Eye of Agamotto. It’s about his staying power. It’s a marathon and not a sprint. The guy endures so much.”

-Benedict Cumberbatch 

Seriously though, the number of grown adults who pitch a WHINY HISSY FIT when I tell them that they can’t take an animal home is astounding.

My favorite one from this holiday season was a man with a young girl (about 5 or 6 years old) and a teenage boy.  The man approaches me and, without me even asking what I can help them with, says:

Man: So we had a goldfish in a bowl and my son changed the food and it died!
Son: (clearly offended, yet texting) It wasn’t MY fault!
Me: Actually the reason it more than likely died is because goldfish REALLY shouldn’t be kept in bowls.
Man: Well it’s a big bowl, like this! (mimes about a gallon-sized bowl shape)
Me: Yeah, that’s actually pretty darn tiny.
Man: Well anyway, we want to get another one.
Girl: I want three!
Me: Unfortunately I can’t sell you a fish today– your setup really isn’t going to work for a goldfish.  You’re going to need at least 10 gallons for just ONE and even then you’re going to have to upgrade within a month or so.  Goldfish really aren’t a beginner fish…

As I say that I brace myself knowing what’s coming up.  Almost every time I refuse sale of a fish, I get the same reaction: outrage and demanding to talk to the manager, etc.

Man: Well I HAVE a tank.
Me: …I really don’t feel comfortable selling you the fish since I really feel like you’re not going to give it the proper care it needs for a long and healthy life.
Man: What?! I said I have a tank!  Why won’t you sell me the fish?!
Me: How big is the tank?
Man: 10 gallons!
Me: I still don’t feel comfortable selling you the fish.  I’m going to have to refuse the sale, I’m very sorry.
Man: What do you mean?!
Me: I’m not going to sell you fish today, I’m very sorry.
Man: I demand to talk to your manager!!!
Me: -points to nametag- Sir, I AM the manager.
Man: -takes a full pause, not expecting this-
Man: So you’re not going to sell me a fish, really?  These 15-cent fish that you feed to turtles, you’d sell it for that but not to me??
Me: If you had the setup for it, I would be more than happy to.
Man: I told you I have a tank!
Me: You told me you had your fish in a bowl.  I honestly believe you are just saying this to get the fish at this point, sir, I’m sorry.
Man: What do you I have to do, bring in a picture to prove I have it??
Me: -calling his bluff in a cheerful tone-  Absolutely!  I would love to see pictures of your tank and I would be more than happy to help you stock it after seeing your setup!
Man: (He takes another full pause) I’m going to call the company and COMPLAIN about you!  This is ridiculous, what’s the number to complain??
Me: I’m afraid I don’t know that off the top of my head sir.
Man: You don’t know the company number???
Me: No sir, but I believe it’s on our website.

While this was going on, the teenage boy was in the reptiles aisle texting and the girl was watching the turtles swim around in our tank nearby.  The man then grabs his daughter by the hand and does this in front of other customers:

Man: Let’s go– the lady’s not going to sell us fish.  She’s a MEAN LADY. (he’s staring directly at me as I stand there with no expression on my face)
Girl: Oh we’re not getting fish?  -not even upset-
Man: Yeah because she’s a MEAN LADY. (he says these words at a higher volume and with more emphasis)

He continues to repeat that phrase as he exits down the reptile aisle, making customers uncomfortable and I just shrug and go back to what I was doing before this scene.

An hour later I get a call from corporate.

NC: Hi, this is the national center, we just wanted to ask about the conditions surrounding a complaint we received about you.  A customer has complained that you wouldn’t sell him a fish even after stating he had the correct setup.  We just would like to hear your side of the story.
Me: (I tell him about the fact the guy had a goldfish in a bowl and then changed his story saying he had a tank and that I refused sale because I didn’t feel he was being honest or would care for the animal)
Me: And then he left the store, calling me a “mean lady” several times in a loud voice and said he would call you guys.
NC: Ok Christina, I just wanted to let you know that we agree with you 100% and that you did everything you were supposed to.  We wish you a very happy holiday season and I hope your shift goes well!
Me: Thank you!  You too!

I did a little happy dance and told the other manager on duty, who didn’t believe me when I said the company would have my back on the issue (he thought the company would bend over backwards for the guy and it would bite me in the butt)


The next day I come in for work at 2PM to find out from my general manager that the guy had called the store (after the nat center told him I was correct, mind you) to complain about me and saying that my behavior was “irresponsible” and that I was “unprofessional” and that I should be reprimanded or fired.

My general manager just said “Well I’m sorry to hear that sir but you see, she has NEVER gotten a complaint as long as she has worked for the company and the national center has already stated that she has done everything according to policy.  Sorry you feel that way, man, but there’s nothing I’m going to do against her in this situation.”

Made my week.

So, yeah, my company defended the life of a 15-cent “feeder” goldfish.

I’m pretty damn happy about that.


Say it 


Say it 

You’re the man of my life

honestly the level of intimacy shown in this scene is so great that it’s almost too much? and you can feel it in particular when you simply listen to them say the words. you can hardly hear isak’s words, which makes them sound all the more intimate because it makes you ask yourself “am i actually supposed to hear this? am i supposed to hear those words that are whispered so quietly you can barely make out what he’s saying?” it makes you ask yourself these questions although the answer is obviously yes, because rationally you know that this is fiction, you know it’s a script and it’s a line that was written and that is meant to be heard. but still, it sounds so intimate that listening to it kind of makes you feel like you’re eavesdropping, like you’re a stranger in a room witnessing these two share a private momentbut that’s exactly what makes this show so brilliant and unique; it takes the viewer and brings them closer to the characters, and it’s a closeness that we’re not used to experience when watching characters on a screen. sure, tv shows and movies sometimes bring us close, but this close? it’s not really something i recall experiencing before

Andrew Minyard’s Life Advice and Other Wisdom

  1. Flattery is uninteresting and gets you nowhere.
  2. Innocent until proven guilty fails on an Exy court.
  3. You’ll start having more success when you ask for things you can actually have.
  4. A man can only have so many issues.
  5. You can’t cut down someone who’s already in the gutter. You just waste your time and mine.
  6. Don’t have to anything.
  7. Reap what you sow or burn the field down, the choice is yours.
  8. What people want to think of me is not my problem.
  9. Revenge is a motivator only for the weak-willed.
  10. You cannot barter away the same thing twice.
  11. Children should be seen and not heard.
  12. Don’t say stupid things.
  13. Everything ends.
  14. Survival tip: no one likes a smart mouth.
Being 👏 vegan 👏 is always 👏 more 👏 affordable!

I am a cashier in a grocery store and I can tell you that meat is so much more expensive than plant foods, even chicken. One man filled the conveyor belt with only meat and the price came up to over $900. Another time, a lady filled the conveyor belt with nothing but fresh produce and the price was under $60. Fresh and frozen fruits and vegetables, pastas, beans, rice, cereals, breads, etc. are staple foods that are vegan.

You know what happened when you go vegan? You SAVE money. Even if you’re limited to fast food, you can get Taco Bell instead of Mcdonald’s and substitute beans for meat and ask for no cheese. You don’t need to buy frozen microwave vegan dinners or Tofurky or Vegenaise or any other product that is specifically marketed for vegans in order to be vegan. Even if you can’t afford almond milk you can easily make your own!

I eat on $25 a week. I eat vegan. I am healthy. My blood test results are perfect. I have more energy than I ever did before being vegan. I am motivated to exercise. And I don’t need to spend as much as a vegan to get the same amount of food as I used to get.

You can do it.

And if anyone needs help affording an ethical diet, visit my inbox because I have answers.

❛ mulan ❜ sentence starters
  • “We’re under attack! Light the signal!”
  • “Send your troops to protect my people!”
  • “A single grain of rice can tip the scale. One man may be the difference between victory and defeat.”
  • “I’m going to uh… pray some more.”
  • “How lucky can they be? They’re dead.”
  • “This is what you give me to work with? Well honey, I’ve seen worse!”
  • “You’ll bring honor to us all.”
  • “Boys will gladly go to war for you!”
  • “Even you can’t blow it!”
  • “Who spit in their bean curd?”
  • “I think it’s going well, don’t you?”
  • “You will never bring your family honor!”
  • “Can it be I’m not meant to play this part?”
  • “If I were truly to be myself, I would break my family’s heart.”
  • “What beautiful blossoms we have this year… But look, this one’s late! But I’ll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all.”
  • “[ NAME ], you dishonor me.”
  • “So you’ll die for honor?”
  • “I will die doing what’s right!”
  • “I know my place! It’s time you learned yours!”
  • “You should go after them – they could be killed!”
  • “Anybody who’s foolish enough to threaten our family, vengeance will be mine!”
  • “Well we can’t all be acupuncturists!”
  • “Okay okay, I get the drift, I’ll go.”
  • “Jump back, I’m pretty hot, huh? Don’t make me have to singe nobody to prove no point.”
  • “Just once chance, is that too much to ask? I mean it’s not like it’ll kill you.”
  • “Don’t even worry about it! I will not lose face!”
  • “That’s the master plan! Oh, you’ve done it now man!”
  • “You’re lucky? Do I look like a sucker to you?”
  • “Stop me? They invited me.”
  • “By building their wall they challenged my strength. Well I’m here to play their game.”
  • “How many men does it take to deliver a message?”
  • “Ah I see you have a sword! I have one too! They’re very manly and tough!”
  • “It’ll take a miracle to get me into the army.”
  • “Who am I? I am the guardian of lost souls!”
  • “My powers are beyond your mortal imagination.”
  • “That’s it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!”
  • “It’s all attitude. Be tough, like this guy here.”
  • “I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make your ancestors dizzy.”
  • “Ah, you ain’t worth my time, chicken boy.”
  • “Say that to my face, you limp noodle!”
  • “This is an enormous responsibility. Perhaps a soldier with more experience…?”
  • “Leader of [ PLACE ]’s finest troops. No, the greatest troops of all time!”
  • “I mean, sorry you had to see that. But you know how it is when you get those manly urges – and you just gotta kill something!”
  • “I didn’t ask for their name, I asked for yours!”
  • “Y’know, we need to work on your people skills.”
  • “Place nice with the other kids. Unless of course, one of the other kids wants to fight, then you have to kick the other kid’s butt.”
  • “Oh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. C’mon, scare me!”
  • “My little baby off to destroy people…”
  • “Are y’hungry? ‘Cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich.”
  • “I’ll get that arrow, pretty boy. And I’ll do it with my shirt on.”
  • “You’re the saddest bunch I’ve ever met.”
  • “Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!”
  • “Heed my every order and you might survive.”
  • “We’re doomed! There are a couple of things I know they’re bound to notice!”
  • “I bet [ NAME ] and I could take you!”
  • “I never want to see a naked man again.”
  • “Those boys are no more fit to be soldiers than you are to be captain. Once the general reads my report, your troops will never see battle.”
  • “Hey, I’ll hold him and you punch.”
  • “Hello, this is the army! Make it sound more urgent please!”
  • “And I do not squeal like a girl.”
  • “There’s no time for stupid questions!”
  • “Hey, think of instead: a girl worth fighting for!”
  • “Bet the local girls thought you were quite the charmer.”
  • “How ‘bout a girl who’s got a brain, who always speaks her mind?”
  • “Yeah the only girl who’d love him is his mother.”
  • “Search for survivors!”
  • “What happened? You just gave away our position!”
  • “Prepare to fight. If we die, we die with honor.”
  • “You missed! How could you miss, they were three feet in front of you!”
  • “We’re gonna die, we’re gonna die! No way we survive this! Death is coming!”
  • “I knew we could do it! You the man! … Well, sort of.”
  • “You are the craziest person I’ve ever met. And for that I owe you my life. From now on, you have my trust.”
  • “I didn’t mean for it to go this far! It was the only way! Please, believe me.”
  • “A life for a life. My debt is repaid.”
  • “Maybe what I really wanted was to prove I could do things right. So when I look in a mirror, I’d seen someone worthwhile. But I was wrong. I see nothing.”
  • “You risked your life to help people you love… I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions.”
  • “We started this thing together, and that’s how we’ll finish it. I promise.”
  • “They popped out of the snow! Like daisies!”
  • “Are we in this together or not?”
  • “Let’s go kick some honey buns!”
  • “Keep your eyes open. I know they’re here.”
  • “Your walls and armies have fallen. And now it’s your turn. Bow to me.”
  • “No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it.”
  • “You! You took away my victory!”
  • “You don’t have a plan?!”
  • “It looks like you’re out of ideas.”
  • “Stand aside, that creature’s not worth protecting!”
  • “I’ve heard a great deal about you, [ NAME ].”
  • “You have saved us all.”
  • “I think I’ve been away from home long enough.”
  • “Are they allowed to do that?”
  • “You… you fight good.”
  • “The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.”
  • “They’re gifts, to honor our family.”
  • “Great, they brought home a sword. If you ask me they should’ve brought home a [ WOMAN/MAN ].”
  • “Woo! Sign me up for the next war!”
  • “Would you like to stay forever?”
  • “Dinner would be great.”
  • “You know, they get it from my side of the family!”
A Dracolich's Riddle

So our party had just been sent to one of the nine hells and have encountered a Dracolich who had stolen our souls.  He wanted to make a wager with us instead of fight us.  Each of us would be asked a riddle and if we guessed it correctly, he would return our souls and allow us to leave.  

So the first three were asked their questions and each passed quickly, gaining their souls and waiting for the rest of us, it came to me.

Dracolich: Ok puny mortal…what soars when it’s born, rests when it’s alive, and runs when it dies.  You have three guesses..

(Me): …Uh.. Man?

Dracolich: No…

(Me): Ok.. how about.. the earth?

Dracolich: No.. One more time

OOC DM:  You can roll int if you think your character knows it

OOC Me: No.. IC and OC, I hate puzzles so this is how I would take it.

Me: I Spread out my arms, look up at the terrifying beast and say to it

“Yeah, your father when he saw your mother!”

It was a quick death at least…

To the girl who swears she has never been enough,

I have heard you cry until your lungs rattle like the snake announcing itself in the desert, I have listened to the sound your heart makes when it shatters at sunset and takes all night to stitch itself back together again with fraying string. No more.

I have sat where you now sit at the kitchen table, staring at the plate in front of you and wondering if this is how each man has seen you. Your mouth doesn’t water but your eyes begin to. I have crossed my legs tighter, as you do. You ask yourself what defines an animal - if meat is only meat when we say so. No more.

I have been with you as you walk down the street, the night announcing itself in the laughs and yells from the bars and the keys between your fingers. You tell yourself you would feel better with more protection, even though by now you have built up so many walls you can call yourself a mansion. No more. 

I have waited for a call by my phone for hours, as you have. I have stared at the ceiling for one hour too long, paced the length of my house for two hours, wondering for three hours straight why I am not worth the ten seconds that it takes to send a message. No more.

You are not the dry-heaves from your stomach that beg you to pull yourself together. You are more. You are not the dessert or the dinner, you are not served on a silver platter, ordered from a menu. You are more. You are not street-candy, you are not “hey baby”. You are more. You are not an empty building, or darkened alley. You are more. You are not counted in the minutes he has chosen to care for you. You are more.

To the girl who swears she has never been enough,
this time,
tell yourself,
No more.
You are more.

—  NO MORE (k.p.k)

~ Boogeyman AU ~

“My classmates said they thought they saw a boogeyman and got seriously afraid. After those stories went around, everyone couldn’t sleep. I asked mom what a boogeyman is and she replied that they are nothing to be scared of, they are like imaginary friends.

Mom was right. You are my friend, and I am not even afraid of you. At all!”

Okay, so I just researched that Brazilians have this one called Homem do saco or The sack/bag man. That carries naughty children away?! Ouo ( Brazilians can correct and educate me more of this please. xD )

I’m pretty sure Eren would do this.

Levi: Eren, do you know where I placed the Windex?

Eren: I think it’s…

Eren: …where you placed it.

Jean: How can I get Mikasa to like me?

Eren: Maybe, just maybe, Jean, you should stop being an asshole.

Reiner: Eren, what’s up?

Eren: *looks down a little*

Eren: Your dick, apparently.

Armin: Eren, do you know what this word is? *points at word*

Eren: it’s a word.

Levi: What you need is to be trained like a dog, not a man.

Eren: And what you need is to grow a few more inches.

Eren: Do you get enough sunlight?

Marco: Eren, do you have a screwdriver?

Eren: No, but I think you’d want to ask Jean for one.

Eren: he is a tool, after all.

Sasha: Eren *froths* can I please have that bread?

Eren: Do you gain weight?

Connie: I snuck panties out of the girls room~

Eren: What are you gonna do? Put them on?

Eren: You gonna sniff them?

Teacher: Eren, pay attention.

Eren: I pay money

Carla: Eren, what did you ask Santa for this Christmas?

Eren: A shitload of shit!

Carla: Eren!

Eren: What?

Eren you little shit

When you hear the term “global warming,” you probably picture a freeway packed with bumper-to-bumper traffic, the commuters collectively belching a cloud of deadly gas directly up Mother Nature’s nostrils. The fact of the matter, however, is that transportation emissions account for just 14 percent of human-made greenhouse gas emissions.

As a point of comparison, agriculture is responsible for much more – nearly a quarter of said emissions, all told. In fact, livestock alone is responsible for at least 14.5 percent of the planet-baking gases being released worldwide, and you know what they say: You can lead a man to a Prius, but asking him to give up prime rib is a good way to get a motherfucker shanked.

See, modern livestock are fed a grain-based diet that, while efficient, results in greatly increasing the animals’ gas production. The animals simply didn’t evolve to efficiently digest such a rich diet, and this results in the continuous release of methane, which has as much as 36 times the global warming potential of carbon dioxide. Meanwhile, demand for meat, while stable in the developed world, is steadily increasing in developing countries – there are now 1.5 billion cows on earth.

And much like your trucker-hat-loving uncle whom you only see at Thanksgiving dinner, the burps and farts of our livestock are spoiling the environment for everyone.

The solution isn’t metric shit-tons of Beano, but it’s close. Australian researchers discovered a species of seaweed (Asparagopsis taxiformis, which sounds like a spell Harry Potter would cast to make Voldemort’s pee smell bad) that, when fed to livestock in amounts as little as two percent of their diet, almost magically slashes the animals’ methane production by 50 to 70 percent.

6 Incredibly Overlooked Scientific Breakthroughs From 2016

The first man I let touch me
after I decide I cannot have you touch me, anymore,
after the “I can’t,” when I ask for you back
once more, that first man
places window pane fingers on my shoulder,
taps twice,
asks what happened here.

If asked,
I had planned to say
it was rock climbing. It was the scrape
of something inhuman and unnamed. 
I had planned to say,
‘Here is the hero, here is the rock
that bled her.’
I had meant to say:
Anti-intention, say corruption,
say collision.

I say, nothing.
I don’t say nothing,
I tell him: “Nothing.”

I feel the slated pages slide from
inside my mouth, clip from my
tongue to his. I did not
mean to give him this. Its body is
sour, after all, it is why I am not good
at loving, after all. 

I do not tell him I think naked
to be the hell of the sun, sometimes,
sickly like sticking to your own
melted forgetfulness, to your skin: that
problem area. 
I do not tell him I worry, in that moment
of “I can’t,” that there is an emptiness
that never can. I do not tell him
how existing this way is like
  being the berry in the palm 
of the person who does not know
how to come to 
with their muscles, that 
betrayal of good hands and the
stain that comes after.

It will be so long before I unlearn myself
as the stain that comes after.
—  “Beneath the Next Storm” by Emma Bleker
reasons why we *i* love daniel sousa


-politely stood up for peggy

-loves peggy

-is crazy about peggy


-he really is a wonderfully kind and brilliant person who is too good for this world

-still wants to kill thompson, but no more than usual

-“sure, can i borrow your forehead?”

-thought there was a real baby in dottie’s carriage and was indescribably relieved when there wasn’t

- according to peggy, no woman could find a better man


-kicks butt with an aluminum crutch seriously do you know how awesome
that is

-which means bye-bye, disability stereotypes


-took peggy’s soft “nos” for what they were when he asked her out but still tried again because she never told him he couldn’t

-remember that one time he used his crutch to beat an innocent filing cabinet because peggy was in trouble and

-“he has a special worry about miss carter.”

- but despite how he feels about the people close to him he still does his job and he does it very well indeed

-and that’s how he became “chief sousa”

-“i can’t focus on the mission if i’m worried about rose.”

-basically any time he interacts with peggy :3

-also have you seen him

-like for real those brown eyes are 👌🏻

-and his precious smile is 💯

-apparently he can also sing

-and he also can cut the rug with the best of them

-because he got his own sweet dance number that one time

- “can’t find my leg anywhere.”


No more drinking. You can’t just stop… I can. For you, I can. I will. You know, when I was, a little boy I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. Adults always ask little kids that. You know? I never had a good answer. Not until…not until I was 28. Till the day that I met you. That’s when I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be the man that made you happy. You make me happy. Not always. Not lately. From here on out, I’m gonna be an 11 for you, baby. No…Screw that, I’m gonna be a 12 for you, from here out. I’ll be an 11 for the kids, but you get a 12

“'I asked you kids what you’re doing in that stall,’ the cigar man said, more sharply this time.

‘Um…grooming our horse?’ I offered.

Rachel’s eyebrows shot up. 'Our horse? Oh, yeah, that’s exactly what we’re doing. Grooming our horse.’ She reached over and stroked Ax’s back.

'Small for a horse,’ the second man said skeptically. 'What are you feeding that poor swaybacked nag?’

'Horse food,’ Marco said.

'Horse food?’

'Yeah. Um…you know, horse food. Boy, you should see how many cans this guy can eat. Man, all day long I’m opening cans of horse food and filling his dish.’

The two men stared. The cigar man moved his cigar to the other side of his mouth.

'Hah-hah-hah!’ I practically screamed. 'He’s such a kidder! Of course we’re not feeding our horse food from cans. We’re feeding him alfalfa and hay. Like you’d feed any horse. My friend is such a joker! Total joke machine!’

'Plus he’s a moron,’ Rachel added.

'Your horse is blue,’ the second man observed. 'Never seen a blue horse.’

'Never seen kids wearing feathers on their faces, either,’ cigar said. 'And I’ve seen a lot of things in my time.’

Jake was looking at me, waiting for me to come up with an answer. So was Rachel. So was Marco. Our 'horse’ was blue. There was no denying that. And yes, we had white-and-gray feathers sticking out of the sleeves and collars of our morphing suits.

'We like blue horses,’ I said lamely.

'Some day, all horses will be blue,’ Jake agreed.”

- Book #14: The Unknown, pg. 84 (by K.A. Applegate)

Metal and Plastic

Originally posted by mindswipe

Reader x Eric

You snuck through the building, it had been surprisingly easy, searching for your son like you promised. Sneaking into a room that was sealed, stopping when you found a man bound in plastic, looking at you curiously.

“You don’t look like the usual people that come in here.” He watched you check the room for anyone else.

“Have you seen a boy… he can move some things he… people here took him and I promised to find him.” You blabbered eyes widening when the metal from your cloths floated off and cut the man free.

Keep reading

Try To Make Your Fandoms Sound As Bad As You Can

Team Fortress 2: A bunch of grown men with badass hats shooting each other over glowing dots and briefcases.

Gravity Falls: Noah Wiseman must uncover the secret of his great uncle’s brother’s diary while battling a mystery flavored Dorito chip

Steven Universe: A bunch of rocks slam into each other and make out and stuff

Gorillaz: The Satanic lovechild of Shrek and Keith Richards starts a band with a blue haired stoner, a loli, and Captain Protein Shake.

OFF: “I came here to chew some Big League Chew and kill spooks and babies. And I’m all out of Big League Chew.”

Hetalia: An Italian man wants spaghetti but his Aryan hubby says no.

Black Butler: Demons, cake, pedophilia, death and corsets. What more can you ask for, really?

Lucky Star; Dammit, Konata, stop being so relatable.

Five Nights at Freddy’s: Barney the Dinosaur’s human incarnate starts some mischief and the little furry babies are pissed.

The Babadook: [Babadook screaming like an angsty scene boy]

Homestuck: Together a gamer geek, his cousin(?), Mandy, and Henry Danger fighst alongside some pissy candy corn headed internet trolls to save the world from a mutant dog…beetle..carapace…thing…and aaah shit here come the cherubs!!

Steam Powered Giraffe: Musical robots with a love of Bobby Darin and a hatred for elephants and rock candy.

  • [CP kisses KO at a party]
  • KO: Get away from me, you're not my type.
  • CP: Will you just wait? How was I?
  • KO: What?
  • CP: As a kisser, how was I?
  • KO: Oh, man!
  • CP: Well, I always wanted to know. You can't really ask a guy that because it's a sign of low self-esteem which I read in a magazine is really not sexy. So, be honest. How was I when I kissed you? Was I too stiff? Too forceful? Do I need to relax my lips a little, maybe open my mouth a little more? Make it more inviting?
  • KO: I need some fresh air.
Cecilos Week 2017

Ah, yes. The long-awaited Cecilos week is finally here! Sorry for the delay on all this but, yknow, time is just a made-man concept anyways! Below you will find the dates, prompts, and rules/guidlines for the week below. 

Dates: January 29th to February 4th


  • Day 1: Fashion/Science
  • Day 2: Future/Past
  • Day 3: Away/Home
  • Day 4: Interloper/Night Vale
  • Day 5: Free Day
  • Day 6: Perfect/Imperfect
  • Day 7: Marriage/Proposal


  • You can use one or both of the prompts for each day. While the prompts are more like suggestions to give you ideas, I ask that you do at least try to use one seeing as they essentially will be what separates Cecilos week creations from regular fanworks. 
  • Any type of fan creation is encouraged! This includes fan art, fanfiction, edits, typography, playlists, meta posts, cosplay, and even fan crafts. Basically, if you created it, then feel free to send it here. 
  • I will be tracking the tags #cecilosweek2017 and #cecilos week 2017. Please use those if you wish for your content to appear on this blog. Also, tagging this blog directly can work too. 
  • You may make NSFW content based upon our prompts, but it will not be reblogged to this blog. I want to make this a safe space for people of all ages!
  • Anything discriminatory in nature will not be reblogged here.
  • Other characters can be featured in your fan works but we ask that whatever is that you create centers around the relationship between Cecil and Carlos, seeing as this is Cecilos week. 
  • AUs for fanworks are allowed!
  • If you wish to submit something rather than post it on your own blog, then please give me a warning ahead of time.
  • If you would rather post a fanwork on another site (Ao3, deviantart, etc.) then feel free to provide a link to your work instead in a post on here.

Well, that’s basically it! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me here or on my Night Vale blog @my-niece-janice. This blog is still currently under construction, but hopefully all the kinks will be worked out soon. Thank you all, and I can’t wait to see what you all create! Have fun!

baby #3

request: can i have an imagine where your at the hospital giving birth to your like 3rd kid and shawns there with your other kids and it’s just really cute tyty


request (i’m writing today so please send some stuff in!)

“Daddy, when can I hold Hazel?” your 3 year old daughter, Jordan, asked your husband as you sat in the hospital.

“Probably a few more hours, baby,” Shawn said before placing a kiss on her forehead. He looked up and you and smiled before reaching over and squeezing your hand.

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