what kind of pie do you like

What if since meeting your soulmate is the best thing to happen to you, they get teleported to the site of the worst thing that’s happened to you?

or: my take on this AU by @shitty-check-please-aus

Jack skates through the crowd of his teammates who are currently mobbing the small blonde freshman who brought pie of all things into his practice.  He’s kind of intending to ask the kid what the hell he thinks he’s doing feeding these guys before they have to go run drills, anyway.  Like seriously, does he want a rink full of projectile-vomiting jocks?  Cuz that’s an ugly scene that he does not want to explain to the ice crew.  But he’s the captain, and so when guys on his team act like morons, Jack is always the one who has to go apologize on behalf of the Samwell Men’s Hockey Team.

He’s more than ready to lay into the new guy, but when the crowd parts, and new guy looks up, he smiles this nervous little smile and says,

“Hi!  I’m Eric -” and then everything goes black.  

Coach Bittle got into the habit of always checking the janitor’s closet on his way out of the building every night.  After what happened to Junior, he ended up just sort of gravitating there.  The first time he’d had the urge to check inside, he’d ignored it and spent the rest of the night tossing and turning, imagining a tiny freshman, plopped on a bucket and crying their eyes out.  When the custodian showed up at 5, Coach was already waiting in his truck with a cup of coffee.  Now he just gives in.  Figures that as far as compulsive, guilty urges go, it’s not that bad.  Only takes him another minute out of his way, and now he goes home and sleeps like a baby.

Luckily, depite making it part of his nightly routine for the past few years, nobody’s actually been locked in there.  Well.  Locked in.  There were certainly a few encounters he interrupted.  Those times he was delayed more than a minute having to make uncomfortable phone calls to parents.  

The first and only time that Coach Bittle rescues someone from the janitor’s closet is actually not even during the school year, and he isn’t actually checking for anyone.  He’d just come in to do some paperwork for preseason and spilled coffee on his desk, and when he goes to get the actually absorbent paper towels from the closet, he finds a very large, very confused man in full hockey gear.

“AHHHH!” They both scream and jolt back, Coach stumbling and catching himself on the drinking foundtain, the large hockey man, being not so lucky and still wearing skates, sits in a mop bucket.  His only solace seems to be that it’s currently empty.

“What in the sam hell!?” Coach yells, regaining his footing.  Hockey man flinches and his eyes dart around like a cornered racoon.

“Where am I?” he chokes out.  “What’s - what’s going on?”  He looks up and meets Coach’s eyes.  Coach looks down at hockey man’s jersey.  Samwell Men’s Hockey.  And he is not a stupid man by any stretch of the imagination, so it takes only a few stunned seconds to realize that this must me Junior’s soulmate.  Why else would one of his teammates have been catapulted down to Georgia?

“You’re in Madison, Georgia, son.  Looks like you just met your soulmate.”

“My - but I - I was at practice?”  Hockey man looks up at him, and from way down there, looking so goddamn confused, he finally looks young enough to be playing with Dicky’s team.

“And now you’re here.  So what does that tell you?”  Coach raises an eyebrow.

“That…I…met my soulmate?”

“Sounds about right.  Also sounds like you probably need to be getting on your way back, don’t it?”

“Um, yes.  That would be.  I should.  Um.  Go.”

“Might want to start with taking off the skates first.”

“Oh, I.  Yes.”  Hockey man awkwardly lifts his legs one by one and scrunches up to untie his laces.  Coach helps him pull the skates off, and then offers a hand up out of the bucket.

“Thank you, sir.”

“No trouble.”

“Jack Zimmermann,” he introduces himself and holds his hand out to shake.  “Nice to meet you.”

“Eric Bittle Senior,” Coach tells him, trying not to feel a little pleased when the boy’s face goes pale in recognition.  “Come on, I’ll give you a ride back where y’all belong.”

“But I - That’s Massachusetts.”

“I know what I said.  Hussle, you’ve got another practice tomorrow mornin’ I bet.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then we oughtta hope traffic’s on our side.”

Meanwhile, Bob Zimmermann nearly cuts his ear off shaving when he hears a loud thump followed by a sqeuak behind him.  He turns to find a strange young man in a Samwell Men’s Hockey jersey sprawled across his bathroom floor, clutching a pecan pie to his chest.

“Chrisse!” He yells, razor clattering to the sink.  He manages to catch his towel before it falls, luckily, but his yelling seems to have startled the poor kid even more.  He’s shaking a little as he sets the pie down gently and sits up. The blades of his skates clink against the tile.

“I - Um - Oh dear, I am so sorry!  I don’t - I don’t know what happened!  I was at practice and then - I mean - I’ll just be going.”

“Non!”  Bob rushes to assure the boy it’s fine, but when he steps forward, it startles him all over again.  Clearing his throat, Bob steps back and switches to English.  “I mean, there’s no need to apologize.  I know why you’re here, I just - wasn’t expecting you at this particular moment.”

“You…were expecting me?”

“Well…not you exactly, but…the…concept? of you?  Jack’s soulmate.  We - His mother and I, we knew when he met them, they would show up here.”

“Oh…I…guess that makes sense?”

“I’m sorry we had to meet like this.  I feel terribly underdressed.”  The boy stares at him blankly until Bob cracks a smile.  Then, he breaks out into loud pleals of laughter.  His eyes are a warm brown and crinkle at the corners, his nose scrunches.  He looks like such a happy person.  Maybe happy enough that some of it will rub off on Jack.

Hockey boy stands up and shakes the hand that isn’t holding Bob’s towel up.  “Eric Bittle, pleasure to meet you.”

“Bob Zimmermann, nice to meet you too.”  Another good (although strange, very strange) sign: there isn’t a trace of recognition in the boy’s face at hearing the name “Bob Zimmermann”.  Of course Jack’s soulmate would be the only hockey player alive who had no clue who the fuck his father is.  

Eric hobbles out of the bathroom and sits against the wall in the hallway to take his skates off before making his way downstairs to the kitchen where Bob had said his wife Alicia was probably hanging out.  Sure enough, when he found the (gorgeous.  stunning.  drool-worthy.) kitchen, there was a  tall, blonde woman sitting cross-legged on one of the barstools, a cup of coffee in one hand and the other propping open a book.

“Hello,” he announces himself quietly.  She’s still startled, though not nearly as much as her husband had been.  When she turns and gets a look at him, she puts the coffee down and lets the pages of the book flop freely, unfolding herself from the seat.

“Hello.  You must be…”

“Eric.  Eric Bittle.”

“Right.  And -”

“Jack’s soulmate.  Yes ma’am, it would seem so.”  He smiles timidly, and is most definitely not expecting to be enveloped in a hug.

“It’s so nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure’s all mine, Mrs. Zimmermann.”

“Well,” Alicia steps back and puts her hands on her hips, regarding Eric with a motherly smile.  “Can I get you a cup of coffee while we wait for Bob?”

Jack and Coach switch drivers every state.  Coach insists that each time, they take a photo in front of the Welcome sign.  Jack snaps a few pictures on his phone when he’s in the passenger seat.  When it’s his turn to drive, he tries to educate Coach on the finer points of hockey and the top NCAA teams, and Coach in turn tries to explain how the hell football works.

The Zimmermanns put Eric on a plane back to Massachusetts that night with his hockey gear stuffed in a duffel and wearing the least obviously early 2000s clothes they could find in Jack’s old dresser.  

“We wish we could go with you,” Alicia tells him, seeming genuinely sad to be sending him off alone.

“But Jack probably wouldn’t appreciate…intruding.  He likes to keep his life at school seperate from his life back home, you know?”  

“Of course, don’t worry a bit.  It was so nice meeting y’all.”

When the airport shuttle leaves Eric in front of his dorm, he’s exhausted from the trip and starting to stress out about seeing Jack.  His soulmate.  Who he’d barely seen in the first place, only a quick impression of tall and eyes before he’d been wormholed to Montreal.  He thinks he has to be seeing things when he first catches sight of his father’s old blue truck pulled up against the curb.  

He shakes himself and starts for the building, but from behind him, Coach’s voice calls,

“Dicky!  Er- Eric!”  Eric’s head spins a little with how fast he turns around.  Because there’s no way.  His dad hadn’t been able to get away from preseason long enough to drive Eric up to school in the first place.  There’s no way he’s - But the there’s Jack, sliding out of the passenger seat.  Because Coach had driven him.  All the way from Georgia.  Because he’s Eric’s soulmate.  Coach is hand-delivering the love of Eric’s life and he just…cannot with this day anymore.

So he focuses on the one tiny part that he can wrap his travel-weary brain around.  He walks up to Jack, who’s watching him raptly, eyes darting everywhere like he’s trying to make sure he memorizes everything before he disappears again, and says,

“I don’t think we managed to introduce ourselves properly last time.”

Jack laughs.

Undertale -  Butterscotch Cinnamon Pie

The hotly anticipated Undertale was released on steam a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been having a ton of fun with it. Being an nontraditional RPG, I was excited to see what kind of recovery items this game had to offer and I was not disappointed! Compared to the other food in the game (read: spider cider), this recipe is pretty tame, but it’s absolutely perfect for the new Autumn season. So which do you like better? Cinnamon or Butterscotch?

Keep reading

Thanksgiving Asks
  • Apple Pie: Fondest childhood memory?
  • Autumn: What is your favorite thing about Fall?
  • Baste: Favorite scent?
  • Cranberry Sauce: What's the one thing you can't leave the house without?
  • Drumkstick: If you could go back in time and live in any time period you want, which period would you choose?
  • Feast: One food you don't like sharing with others?
  • Family: Who is the person you are closest to?
  • Gobble: Are you better at talking or listening?
  • Gravy: What kind of food can you not live without?
  • Ham: Funniest joke you've ever heard?
  • Harvest: Do you hoard anything? If so, what is it?
  • Corn on the Cob: Do you like a little mess in your life or do you prefer things to be neat and tidy?
  • Mashed Potatoes: What is something that always brings you comfort when you are sad?
  • Native American: What culture fascinates you most?
  • November: Favorite time of the year?
  • Pilgrim: If you could rule over any country, which country would you rule over?
  • Pumpkin Pie: What is one kind of dessert you could eat everyday and never get tired of it?
  • Rolls: Do you think you're a selfish person in any way?
  • Stuffing: Are you happy with your body image?
  • Sweet Potato Casserole: Weirdest food combination you've ever tried?
  • Squash: Your biggest disappointment?
  • Turkey: The stupidest thing you've ever done?
  • Yams: How would you describe your sense of humor?

James Potter is the kind of guy that calls somebody “dude” and “buddy” and “man” but also “babe” and “honey” and “cutie pie” all in the same sentence and I’ll not be told otherwise like

sirius orion whAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO WHATS WRONG WITH YOU DUDE THATS NOT COOL MAN but babe that was amazing did u see lily’s face I’m so proud my cutie pie is growing sO FAST but wtf buddy seriously”
Early Mornings (Supernatural Preference)


Dean was the worst on early mornings. If ever you had to get up early, he would point blank refuse. He would roll over, wrapping his arm around you and grumbling into his pillow ‘five more minutes’. Dean despised waking up early; hated it more than anything. The only way to get Dean up was to promise pie later. 

“If you get up now, I’ll buy you pie after.”

“What kind?”

“Any kind you like.”

“Ugh, fine… Five more minutes though?”


Sam loved early mornings. He’d usually get up extra early to go for a run or jog. He loved your sleepy voice in the morning. He’d be the first one up and usually, would always bring breakfast back for you and Dean. 

“Where did you go?”

“Yeah, I woke - went for a run.” He smiled, “Got breakfast.”

God, Sam. How can you do that to yourself?!”


warren: so whats a cutie like you slummin it in san myshuno?

acacia @ acacia: cutie!!! ok girl u in u can do this 

acacia: oh! i actually dont know???? i heard there was a festival in town but like my friend and i haven’t found it so we gave up.. we’re actually kind of lost tbh. i’m from windenburg actually!

warren: oh well maybe i can help haha.. im warren by the way!

acacia: acacia (~: well, thats my name??? i guess u didn’t really ask for it though!!!! sorry!!!

warren: pretty name for a pretty gal (;

I would just love it if Jack and Bitty’s first kiss is in a kitchen while Bitty is baking (haus kitchen, jack’s kitchen in providence, heck even bitty’s house in georgia I don’t care)

and like they’re very excited because #kissing so they’re kind of ignoring the world around them and maybe Jack has already hoisted Bitty up to sit on the counter (cause this is 1000% gonna happen eventually so)

BUT the oven timer goes off

and Jack is like no stay ignore it for just another minute but Bitty pushes him away like EXCUSE ME who do you think I am sir I can’t let my pie/cobbler/biscuits/bread/whatever burn come on?????

so Bitty shoves Jack away (gently bc it’s still Jack and he still likes him) and is suddenly in bakermode and checks on whats in the oven and like pokes it to make sure its done and maybe it’s not so he puts back in and sets the timer again and only then he turns his attention back to Jack like “you’ve got two minutes use it wisely” 

so Jack scoops him up again and def uses that time wisely

anonymous asked:

Luca why can't you live on my earth? I think you would be perfect boyfriend. On a totally unrelated note, do you know of any good bakeries? Because I would love a cutie pie like you. ;)

Luca: I’m sorry…maybe I’m just one of a kind!

Me: like a doughnut!

E2Barry: *furrows eyebrows* what..,

Bro-robes conversation with Ianite
  • Robes: Ianite!!!
  • Ianite: Wat is it bro-robes
  • Ianite: Bro-robes
  • Robes: Roiling whispers is more ominous and awesome.
  • Ianite: Bro-robes.
  • Robes: Fine.....
  • -Later-
  • Robes: So you know that Jordan fello?
  • Ianite: ya, what about him?
  • Robes: He seems kind of shifty to me....
  • Ianite: he seems kind of hot to me.
  • Robes: How can you like such a shifty character?
  • He's so weird.
  • Ianite: He's hot.
  • Robes: No he isn't.
  • Ianite: He gave me pie.
  • Robes: Damn it! I can't argue with that.
  • -Later-
  • Robes: Ianite, what are you doing to me?
  • Ianite: I'm leaving this world.
  • Robes: You'll come back right? I would always come on you travels, but this seems different.
  • Ianite: Leaving for good Roiling whisper.
  • Robes: You never call me that..
  • Ianite: Goodbye
  • Robes: Ianite! What are you doing! Where are you going? Will you ever come back?
  • Robes: Ianite?
  • Robes: You there?
  • Robes: You can't just leave!
  • Robes: Why? There must be a reason,
  • Robes: Ianite? Please?
  • Robes: (in tears) Goodbye I-Ian-nite

anonymous asked:

Spill it! Why do you like Winco? What do you know about them?

Why do i like Win? I kind of just …do. I like their smile and their laugh and their unnatural love of pie. I like the way the look when their asleep and the mess of their hair in the morning. I like the lines on their hands and the way their back arches when they’re reading a good book. And I like the way their name rolls of my tongue…

What do I know about them? I know that I love them, and a lot of other things.

Talking about Yuzuru like
  • Friend : How can you describe him ? Your fav skater you know.. Yu.. Yuru-
  • Me : YUZURU.
  • Friend : Yeah yeah him
  • Me : Bad SP, Perfect FS. Angelic smile. Adorkable. Badass Parisienne Walkways. Cricket Club. SP World Record. Gorgeous 3A. Romeo. Olympic Champion. ALWAYS SKATES. Even if he is badly injured. Cutie Pie. Role Model. Mushroom baby. His Eyes. Prodigy. Kind with kids...
  • [two hours later]
  • Me : ...Doing 4T like it's nothing. Sendai. Derp Face. Slender Body. Prettier than women. Prince. NEVER GIVES UP. He doesn't even know what it means. Jumping to get on the podium. POOH. Arigatō Gozaimashita.
  • Friend : Ari.. Ariga- what ?
  • Me : Arigatō Gozai-
  • Friend : Oh nevermind. I shouldn't have asked anything.

key--lime--pie  asked:

Who are you: Jean Valjean! Whats your favorite color: Green, but sometimes purple Favorite ship: Well you know just these two nerds, one's tall, one's not as tall, though as you can see, taller than me... Favorite ice cream flavor: I just had mocha swirl. That was pretty awesome. I like caramely kinds too. Do you have a dog: No, but I have a cat who thinks he's a dog. Thank: Chuck?

“ONE’S TALL ONE’S NOT AS TALL” I absolutely hate this description because even if I didn’t already know your otp I would know EXACTLY who you were talking about

anyways you’re awesome and I wanna meet your adorable nerd cat (who matches your adorable nerd self)

Learn about the muse: Ice cream flavors edition
  • Cookie Dough: What was your favorite cookie when you were younger?
  • Mint Chocolate Chip: Do you like mint candies? Why/Why not?
  • Neapolitan: What are 3 things you love? Why?
  • Moose Tracks: If you could have a wild animal as a pet, which would you choose?
  • Bacon: What’s your favorite breakfast to have?
  • Butter Pecan: What is your favorite pie flavor? How often do you have it?
  • Strawberry: Do you like cute things? Why/Why not?
  • Vanilla: Would you be considered ‘Vanilla’ in the bedroom?
  • Chocolate: Do you like to have hot cocoa/hot chocolate in the winter? If not, what hot drink do you prefer during the holidays?
  • Crab: Do people consider you weird? Or would they consider you unique?
  • Tiger Tail: How do you feel about cats? Why?
  • Green Tea/Matcha: Do you like tea? What is your favorite kind of tea?
  • Hokey Pokey: Do you prefer hard candy or soft candy? Why?
  • Chubby Hubby: What is your food guilty pleasure? How often do you eat it?
  • AmeriCone Dream: Do you have any dreams you have yet to reach?
  • Late Night Snack: Do you eat during the night/times you’re not suppose to?
  • Taste the Lin-sanity: What are some foods unique to your culture?
  • Vermonster: Have you ever ate so much that you swore you put on a few pounds? When?
  • Brownie Batter: What’s your favorite chocolate treat? Or do you not like chocolate?
  • Cake Batter: What was the best birthday you’ve ever had? And the worst?
  • Cannoli: Do you like Italian food? If not, what’s your favorite food from another country?
  • Chocolate Therapy: Have you ever visited a psych doctor? If not, do you have problems you wish you could tell others?
  • Chunky Monkey: Have you ever been to a zoo or seen animals in the wild?
  • Cinnamon Buns: What’s your favorite baked treat?
"sweeney todd" starters


  • “What happened then?”
  • “You are young. Life has been kind to you.”
  • “There’s no place like London.”
  • “If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be lost at sea.”
  • “Times are hard.”
  • “Wait! What’s your rush?”
  • “I thought you were a ghost!”
  • “I haven’t seen a customer in weeks.”
  • “They all deserve to die.”
  • “Mind you, I can hardly blame them.”
  • “Did you come in for a pie, sir?”
  • “Do forgive me if my head’s a little vague.”
  • “What was that?”
  • “You’d think we had the plague from the way the people keep avoiding.”
  • “Here we are. Hot out of the oven.”
  • “These are desperate times, and desperate measures are called for.”
  • “Pain makes people change.”
  • “I’m your friend, too.”
  • “I lied because I love you!”
  • “There’s little point in dwelling on the past.”
  • “It’s like the good Lord sent you for me.”
  • “Would no one have mercy on her?”
  • “So, it’s you.”
  • “Where is my wife?”
  • “I tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t listen to me.”
  • “She poisoned herself with arsenic.”
  • “No, no, I never lied!”
  • “You lied to me.”
  • “You knew she lived.”
  • “No doubt the years have changed me.”
  • “It’s man devouring man, my dear!”
  • “What is that sound?”
  • “Nothing’s gonna harm you, not while I’m around.”
  • “Nothing to be afraid of!”
  • “You’re a bloody wonder.”
  • “Have charity towards the world.”
  • “We’ll serve anyone.”
  • “Will I see you again?”
  • “A gentleman knocks before entering a lady’s room!”
  • “My cage is many rooms.”
  • “I don’t have dreams… only nightmares.”
  • “May the Lord have mercy on your soul.”
  • “He’s drinking me out of house and home.”
  • “People think it’s haunted.”
  • “What may I do for you today, sir?”
  • “Years ago, something happened up there. Something not very nice.”
  • “You have a room over the shop, don’t you? If times are so hard, why don’t you rent it out?”
  • “Life is for the alive, my dear.”
  • “Lately all the neighbors’ cats have disappeared.”
  • “What a coarse enterprise!”
  • “Smells like piss.”
  • “This is piss - piss with ink!”
  • “Always had a fondness for you, I did.”
  • “I meant no harm.”
  • “You’ve come home.”
  • “Don’t I know you?”
  • “What have I done?”
  • “What was his crime?”
  • “Think on your sins.”
  • “Leave it to me.”
  • “I will leave this place.”
  • “All she did for months was lie there in bed!”
  • “Do you mean it?”
  • “Come here, my love.”
  • “Could that thing have cared for you like me?”
  • “Can we still be married?”
  • “They never go away.”
  • “Don’t worry, no one will recognize you.”
  • “You’re safe now.”
  • “The way ahead is clear!”
  • “Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?”
  • “I’ll steal you…”
  • “Boy’s drinking like a sailor.”
  • “Pity a woman alone.”
  • “Here, drink this. You’ll need it.”
  • “For a minute there I thought you’d lost your marbles.”
  • “Now, we’ve got a body rotting away upstairs. What do you propose we do about that thing?”
  • “We’ve got a nice respectable business now.”
  • “You’re barking mad!”
  • “Ugh! All that blood.”
  • “Well, waste not, want not!”
  • “All this shouting and running about, what’s happened?”
  • “Out. OUT!”
  • “What’s your rush?”
  • “There, there, dear, calm down…”
  • “Anything you say.”
  • “We’ll do wonders, won’t we?”
  • “We’ll be married on Sunday!”

What tumblr has taught me, about each sign.

Aries: Normal, all the normal things, you got it easy.

Taurus: Hilarious, always knows when to crack a good joke

Gemini:Y'know that dude that says really weird pick up lines in the middle of class? He’s probably a Gemini.

Cancer: The Fault In Our Stars.

Leo: A perky ass cheerleader who practically owns mascara island on her face, the neighbour island to concealer land and red lipstick village.

Virgo: Hipster as shit

Libra: Shy, but badass when you get to know them

Scorpio: Why does everyone have to pick on Scorpio I bet they’re good people, gtfo.

Sagittarius: Unpredictable, one second doing homework the next second on a Ferris wheel with your best friend dancing to One Direction.

Capricorn: Pretty and Kind. sugar and spice and everything nice


Pisces: I have nothing to say, Pisces are queen bee like everyone preach

anonymous asked:

Not so sure if this has been asked before but what do you think are Karasuno's favorite colors?

Daichi likes darker colours like maroon

Asahi and Sugawara like lighter colours, like a sky blue or pastel pink, something that looks fluffy

Ennoshita’s favourite colour is green

Kageyama likes blue because it’s fucking tight

Nishinoya and Hinata most definitely like super bright colours like orange or yellow

Tsukishima most probably likes colours that are easy on the eyes like navy or a soft yellow

Yamaguchi seems like the kind of person who likes earth tones, so browns and greens

Take It Slow (Quicksilver [AOU] x Reader)

Take It Slow (Quicksilver x Reader)

“Can I help you?” You held your pen up, ready to take the young man’s order.

He jumped, looking up. Electric blue eyes looked up at you from under a head of blonde hair, dark roots showing.

“Can I take your order?” You asked again.

“Oh yes, I’m sorry.” Sweet Jesus that accent was glorious. You tried not to stare as the man ran a hand through his hair, smiling up at you. “Could I have a decaf coffee and some pie please?”

Oh shit, you were so screwed.

“What kind would you like?”

“What would you recommend?” He asked, still with that incredible smile on his face.

“Um,” it took you a second to remember what it was you were supposed to be doing. “The- the apple turnovers are amazing. They aren’t technically pies, but they’re worth it.”

“Alright.” His smile grew. “I’ll have one of those please.”

“Yeah,” you stammered. “I’ll be right back with that.”

“Thank you beautiful.”

Keep reading

Strange Encounters of the Awkward Kind

“Oh!” Peggy exclaimed in surprise, rounding the corner and dropping Angie’s hand like it was a hot potato. “Hello.” She and Angie stood, blinking awkwardly at the equally startled faces of Sousa and Thompson that they suddenly found themselves confronted with.

“Hello, Peggy,” said Thompson, his hands darting up to adjust his hat.

“What are you doing here?” Sousa asked. “I mean, not that it isn’t swell to see you, I just…” he trailed off and rubbed his neck uncomfortably.

“Wasn’t expecting it in the slightest?” Peggy offered.


“Do you often take late-night walks through dubious neighbourhoods?” Thompson asked them, with a crooked attempt at a smile.

“You know how Peg loves to live on the wild side,” said Angie, with nonchalance so forced that it was an utter discredit to actors everywhere. Peggy had to cringe a little in sympathy. She could see Angie do the same.

“Oh yes,” Peggy agreed quickly. “Angie wants to be an actress, you see. And anyone knows the only way to do that is to live a little.”

“With the performances I’ve seen her put on, she shouldn’t have a problem,” said Sousa, sounding only a little disgruntled.

“She is amazing, truly,” Peggy agreed.

“But working in an automat ain’t exactly prime material for the stage,” said Angie. “What about you fellas? Don’t you to have some place to be on a Friday night?”

“Nowhere but a lousy street corner, apparently,” said Thompson. “Night shift. Crap work. The usual.”

Peggy’s brow furrowed. “I thought Agent Marks and Agent Bailey had night shift tonight.”

“We – uh – got called in,” said Sousa, a little too quickly.

“And we should get back to it,” said Thompson. “Chasin’ a lead. Don’t want it to get too far ahead.”

“Right, yes, sorry to keep you,” said Peggy. “We should be getting along too.”

“Yep, places to be, people to see,” said Angie.

“Night, boys,” said Peggy, nodding briefly.

“Goodnight, ladies,” said Sousa, nodding awkwardly in return. The two groups quickly headed off in their respective directions.

“Odd folks, your coworkers,” said Angie, when they were a few blocks away. She glanced over her shoulder. “Think they noticed?”

Peggy shook her head. “Don’t worry, Angie, those boys wouldn’t notice a brick if it hit them in the head.” She put her arm around the other woman and leaned over to give her a quick kiss. “I assure you, we are quite safe.”


Sousa looked anxiously over his shoulder. “Do you think they saw anything, Jack?”

Thompson shook his head. “You worry too much, Danny Boy. They didn’t see a thing.” He looked over at him from under the brim of his hat. “Besides, what’s the worst they could do? It’s not like Carter and her friend are going to run about town spilling their guts about our private business.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Sousa agreed, though he still sounded a little nervous. “Peggy wouldn’t do that.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ll try to restrain my feelings when we’re in public,” Thompson conceded.

Sousa snorted. “You’re enough of a jackass already, I’d hate to see you when your feelings are restrained.”

“Good,” said Thompson. “Then hold my damn hand again, you rat-bastard.”

Okay, so, I see a lot of fanart of Undyne eating fish and then finding out what it is and being Horrified, but consider:

  1. Fish eat other fish all the time IRL (and Undyne’s chompers are not exactly geared towards vegetarianism)
  2. It’s Undyne we’re talking about. “You have to time the pukes” Undyne.

She would maybe freak out at first, until Frisk or Asgore explained that most animal life on the surface is not in fact sapient or even kind of intelligent, and then she’d revel in it. Consider:

  • One Thursday morning she calls up Asgore all “hey, so, you’re still into quiche and pie and stuff, right? Cool, that’s what I’ll bring for the potluck this weekend. Love you” and absolutely nobody is prepared to see the stargaziest of pies
  • On a related note, at one point she asks Toriel “hey do you own any skewers or whatever? I want to make something on those for our next cooking lesson but they have to be metal” and Toriel is like, sure, fine, but then, when Undyne actually shows up for the next lesson with two pairs of thick rubber gloves, a bag full of eels, a car battery and one of Alphys’s toolboxes, she has to excuse herself to take some aspirin
  • Whenever they go out for sushi she inevitably starts holding the pieces above her head and doing the Jaws Poster Act. If the only people in the group are adults she’ll stop if you ask, but if Frisk or Kid is around not only will she refuse but she will actively encourage them to get in on the action too. (”The kid has no arms! It would be way ruder not to do this!”)
  • Sometimes people who visit Muffet’s cafe are shitty about the whole spider pastry thing, and when she’s there to see it happen, Undyne will immediately muscle her way to the front of the line and order a bagel with lox. When it’s handed to her she waves it away. “More salmon, please.” “No, more.” “That’s still not enough! Come on!” and so on until the normies shut up or she becomes unsure that she can actually open her mouth wide enough to take a bite.