I suspect that part of the reason Zizek's career has gotten so much worse is that (a) it's almost entirely writing-based (he quite vocally doesn't give a damn about teaching), so (b) he needs to keep selling books, so (c) he adopts ever more shocking, hasty positions in an effort to stay interesting and relevant; and (d) cheap contrarianism is bad politics what a shock. Not to excuse him (he could have acted differently), but there's an irony in how the commodity-form has perverted his work.
Yeah I kinda feel the same way, although there is also an element of like, that the Left exists in a way it didn’t a decade ago, and you can’t just be like a gadfly by being like hey communism is good and liberalism isn’t enough anymore (or you could but that would kind of give up any sort of privileged position within your peergroup)
It had been a month since school had started, and
still Baz’s seat remained empty. Simon
hated that Baz was still gone, but even more than that, he hated the fact that
he hated that Baz was still gone. What kind of hero worries for their
A shitty one.
But then, Simon
had always felt like a shitty hero.
climbed the stairs to the room at the top of the tower, he felt it happening
again. He was starting to wonder where
Baz was, what he was doing, if he was okay.
And worst of all, he was starting to not hate Baz as much as he needed
was he supposed to kill someone he didn’t hate?
Simon reached the door, he could almost feel it. That teasing sense that something was
off. But before he could think about it,
he pushed through the door.
was the Mage, in the middle of the room, moonlight from the window creating
what seemed like a halo around him.
there was Baz, on the floor in front of the Mage, pale and bruised and more
gaunt than Simon had ever seen him in his life.
books hit the floor with a bang.
you are, Simon,” the Mage greeted him as though Baz wasn’t even there, as
casually as if Simon was just visiting for tea.
didn’t even look at the Mage. He couldn’t
tear his eyes away from Baz, kneeling with his head down, the picture of
defeat. Baz should never look like
that. Baz was graceful, dignified,
fucking ruthless. Never defeated.
Simon tried, but he didn’t know where to start.
yes,” the Mage seemed to notice Baz for the first time, “look who I found.”
have you been?” Simon asked Baz.
Mage had clearly decided to do all of Baz’s talking for him. “It doesn’t matter. You were right, Simon.”
That he’s cruel? That he’s always
plotting? That he sneaks down into the
catacombs at night and…
“He’s a vampire,
Simon,” the Mage said, “and you know how I feel about vampires.”
shouldn’t have come as any shock to Simon, but for some reason his heart still
paused for a second, like it needed to keep up with everything that was going
on. Of course Baz was a vampire, Simon
had never really doubted it, but to hear it said, and by the Mage of all
people, made it so much more real.
this time he’s done so much more than bully you,” the Mage went on. “He’s been waiting. Biding his time.”
didn’t you kill me years ago?” Simon asked Baz.
“We’ve been sleeping in the same room for ages, you’ve had plenty of
been trying to trick you,” the Mage hissed, “to make you trust him. He should have known that you would never
trust a monster.”
in Simon suddenly snapped, like someone had flipped a switch in his brain. He was angry.
He didn’t know why, but he was angry.
Mage looked Simon in the eye. “It’s time
you show this creature how we deal with monsters.”
didn’t move, unsure of what the Mage meant.
Normally, they would kill monsters, but… this was Baz.
Mage hauled Baz to his feet and held him up in front of Simon. “Hit him.
See if he bleeds.”
Simon did. He curled his fingers into a
fist and he punched Baz square in the cheek, and it hurt, but he did it
again. He hit and he kicked, and he got
angrier and angrier, until he saw nothing but red. Baz didn’t make a sound, but the Mage kept
egging Simon on and his fists kept flying, and he felt nothing but rage.
finally Baz groaned with Simon hit him in the side of the head.
just like that, the rage dropped out of Simon’s vision, and he stopped.
was supposed to have milky white skin like he always did.
wasn’t supposed to be covered in bruises, or have an eye swollen shut, or be
bleeding from his mouth.
enough,” Simon growled through clenched teeth.
said, that’s enough,” he all but shouted.
It was the first time he had ever raised his voice at the Mage.
a moment, the Mage dropped Baz to the floor and, without a word, stepped over
the crumpled body and out the door.
fell to his knees, his eyes blurring with tears. He caught Baz’s face in his hands and nearly
broke at the sight of what he had done to him.
Baz,” he choked, “I’m sorry.” He wrapped
his arms around as much of the boy as he could reach, terrified by how thin and
broken and bloody Baz was, and held him as tight as he could. “I’m so sorry Baz,” he sobbed over and over
again. Baz didn’t say anything, and he
didn’t hold Simon back, but he breathed.
He simply breathed gently into Simon’s hair.
they awoke the next morning, they were still there, entangled on the bedroom
floor, clinging desperately to each other.
As Baz slowly drifted into consciousness, he heard Simon whispering into
his neck, over and over.
alright. You’re alright. We’re gonna be alright.”
this was meant to be a doodle but then my hands slipped and made this terrible masterpiece ohmg.
yes i ship pearlmethyst too, ok. and excuse my handwriting, i told you it was supposed to be a doodle i sWEAR. the colouring is also a lazy colouring, look i was just bored ok. god i’m terrible.
but look at rose i’m actually kind of proud of her what.
Obviously people are allowed to want to recover and obviously mental illness is not a Good Fun Cool Time! But for some of us recovery isn’t even necessarily a feasible option, certainly not the kind of recovery you’re conceptualizing
I’ve been traumatized and anxious and scared and sad and lonely since I was a little kid! All of these things have shaped my development into the person I am today!
I’m not saying that traumatized people can’t recover ever but I can’t separate myself or my personality from that. Recovery, for me, involves accepting what happened to me and accepting how it’s impacted my life and development, and recovery is going to be a lifelong process, so excuse me if I use humor to cope with that :)
Personally? I’ve been in therapy for 5 years, I’ve been on antidepressants for almost 4, and guess what? Still traumatized, still have anxiety with obsessive-compulsive features, still have depression/dysthymia, still have social anxiety that could possibly be classified as AVPD, still have some kind of dissociative disorder (which actually developed during my “recovery”)
Mental illness is a normal part of my life, that I have to live with, every single day - not everybody has to think about mental illness in the same way, and you’re allowed to think of mental illness as a foe you have to vanquish if that’s what helps you get to a better, healthier place, but holy shit, please don’t tell me that I’m doing recovery wrong
I think deep down you know how I feel about you. I’m kind of nervous that I like you because I know I could never truly have you. You’re smart, kind, caring, honest, sweet, and so much more. You deserve more than what I can give you right now. You deserve someone who will introduce you to her parents willingly when things get serious, and someone who will have a bit more money to spare.
Maybe you’re a dream, someone with qualities that I wish a guy would have because every guy I’ve met always treats me wrong. They try to push sex on me, they’re not gentlemen, and they make excuses for their actions. Meanwhile you ask if I’m okay, and you make me feel special. I don’t know how to end this letter because you as a person can’t be described how wonderful you are.
So I think I owe you all some kind of explanation. Three months ago I was in a class that had blown my anxiety out of the water and into space, making me a complete depressive mess the whole month. The past two months were my recovery from the previous month. The classes were simple but complicated and it actually had something I wanted to legitimately learn. Only downside is that they were time consuming. (Motion Graphics is no walk in the park let me tell ya.) But in turn I’ve neglected this blog as well as drawing anything. I’ve now become hesitant in what I want to do with all of this. I’ve met so many nice people here, but I don’t know if I can continue updating. I’m at a crossroad right now, so im sorry. I still need time to think.
I do love my family, but I hate talking to them about super personal stuff?? I have 4 siblings and I love hanging out with them, but I literally told my bro 'I'm gay' and he simply replied with 'No you're not' and his excuse was that I had no proof and was probably just joking about it. I'm kinda glad he forgot about that tbh??
yeah same, my family is okay but sometimes they’re just awful and they’re not good to talk about personal stuff mine keeps saying they’ll Love And Accept me anyway but every time I talk about it they either make shit jokes AND complain bc I don’t like their shit jokes
and oh m y gOD what kind of proof does he even wANT
prove to me youre gay. kiss a guy in the lips right now. i dont even know.
I admire disciplined people so much. I admire people who can do what they need to do with a focused mind and unwavering commitment, not letting themselves get distracted and refusing to make excuses for themselves. I admire the kind of people whose eyes are on the prize, even if it’s far away, and who are determined, diligent, and adaptive. I look up to the kinds of people who refuse to succumb to any obstacle or challenge and transcend above the millions of things that stand against them and their goals. I admire people with that kind of hardened resolve so much and I aspire to be like that so much more.
Phew, finally got this to a point I’m happy with. I said earlier that what initially got me to watch Voltron was Space!Zelda, so here she is. It was actually kind of hilarious how similar their designs are, I barely had to make anything up.
Also, I love pink/blue color themes. This might be the heart of why I like Princess Zelda… and why I like space.
Yeah. I mostly know her through Blake, but we're still good friends and-
Alright, fine, you can marry my daughter!
Excuse me? No, you're misunderstanding-
Oh, don't think I don't know what's happening. You're a fun, attractive, blonde male with a nice tan and killer abs. I know how you're kind works. Sure, right now you're chasing after the broody, long haired brunette who always runs away from her team, but eventually you're going to realize you made a mistake and so you settle down with her short teammate in a hood who you fall for after she starts helping you raise the child. And then she'll die and you'll get a case of clinical depression and then both of your precious daughters will leave you and you live your life wondering what the hell went wrong and-
I'll do whatever you want just please stop crying.