Poe being like real excited to be in a relationship with Finn and Rey, like just romantically it is amazing, and sexually he is sure that he is living the dream, but then a month passes and another month passes, and romantically, things continue to be amazing, and sexually–
Well so basically Poe just has to sit Finn and Rey down like, listen, buddies, friends, romantic partners, we were having a great time when this began. We were learning and growing together. We were having a great time. Everyone had a lot of enthusiasm. So much enthusiasm. I had enthusiasm too. But things have changed. For one, Finn lasts a lot longer now, yes, awesome, let’s high-five that, and it is great, especially combined with the the fact you have a refractory period of like two seconds, seriously, it’s amazing and frankly terrifying. And Rey. Rey. You can levitate. There’s erotic lightning play. Sometimes you link our minds together and it’s like, wow, I’m feeling your orgasm, and I’m feeling you feeling your orgasm, and I’m feeling you feeling me feeling your orgasm, and then you bring Finn in, and there’s honestly so much feeling that I’m like “wow this is the greatest experience of my life, what a rare opportunity.” But it’s not a rare opportunity. It’s an average Tuesday night.
And Finn and Rey look at each other, and they’re like, are you complaining that our sex life is too good?
And Poe’s like, no no no no. But also yes. And I’m suggesting that we work to better schedule our sex life. Like. With recovery times factored in. Like a lot of recovery time. I’m so happy but I’m also genuinely afraid that I’m going to die, and that General Organa is going to know that I had sex to death, and I frankly am not equipped to handle that.