what is wrong with our generation

Why be ashamed of being different? ‘Man’ and 'Woman’ are nothing but labels attached to our back. It’s us who like to make things more complicated. It’s us who insisted on classifying love between gender. We make 'sexuality’ become something more important than 'love’ and what for? For criticizing people who do absolutely nothing wrong but love someone they truly see the future with, for blaming those beautiful human on making the world worse, for killing the young generation with their definition about 'finding soulmate’.  Well, to me those are the most ridiculous reasons to hate somebody . We were born with the most basic human rights: to live and to love. So why now we turn our back to other people, break our own promise with the excuse 'To make the future better?’, the world has bigger problems than boys kiss boy and girls kiss girls. Stop, just stop what you are doing, stop people you know who do it, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender are human too. Don’t treat them differently, we should love them more because their hearts are so big that they can break barriers and build bridges to love others. That is what we should learn from them'Love Others’, let’s BUILD BRIDGES NOT WALLS. And 'Spread Love Like You Spread Nutella’ .
— 

//LOVE FIRST//

_Little Dragonfly XXVII

Millennials are not children

So…

The oldest millennials right now are 35. They were born in 1982 and turned 18 in the year 2000. 

[edit] Millennials and Gen Y are the same generation, they are not two different things. 

Gen Z started in the late 90′s or 2000, depending on your opinion.

But for certain, if you were born after 2000, YOU ARE NOT A MILLENNIAL.

The youngest millennials are just about 18 years old right now if you end the Millennial Generation in 2000.

[edit]: I’d like to note that it is currently 2017. In less than 2 months, it’s gonna be 2018. Everyone born in 2000 is turning 18 next year. And! Guess what! It’s almost next year, the year where all people born in 2000 will be 18! 

Furthermore, I’m being generous with ending the millennial generation in 2000. Some sources end it as early as 1995, so there. 

So, moving on:

18-35. We are your millennials.

“Younger millennials” are actually Gen Z.

THIS ALL STEMS FROM OUR PARENTS CONTINUING TO INFANTILIZE US.

Millennials are full-grown fucking adults in their twenties and thirties!!!

MILLENNIALS ARE NOT TEENAGERS, MILLENNIALS ARE NOT CHILDREN.

(there is nothing wrong with being a teenager. you’re awesome and great, welcome to Gen Z by the way, also called the iGeneration)

[edit days later] If you’d like sources and can’t be bothered to google this yourself, please check my follow-up post: https://queerly-tony.tumblr.com/post/167383906708/fleetwoodmyass-replied-to-your-post-millennials

gentiles on this website: “The Old Testament God is cruel and vengeful!”
actual Jews in my synagogue yesterday: “My favorite part of the reading is when it says the Torah is not in heaven so it’s too far to reach, it’s not across the sea so we can’t get it, but that it’s in our hearts… the idea of having that be so close, of being so close to something divine, that thrills me.”
“And here, where it says ‘the Lord will delight in you as he did in your fathers’, that’s such a beautiful thing. You know, God is this all-powering being, and God delights in us.”

gentiles on this website: “You can’t be an atheist and religious!”
actual Jews in my synagogue yesterday: “I’m just not buying any of this. I was born during the Holocaust and I could never wrap my mind around this omnipotent all-seeing God, and usually I’m a little moved by this, I try to be hopeful, but when I look around the world now, I just don’t buy it! If I really believed there was a God, I would resent him.” [still wears a prayer shawl and attends synagogue regularly]

gentiles on this website: “Religious people never question what they’re told, they just followed blindly!”
my actual rabbi: “Sometimes the Torah can be like an older relative whom we love dearly, and who has a lot of wisdom to give, but who also says things that cause us pain, that we find offensive or wrong. And I think the wrong instinct would be to pretend we don’t hear what they’re saying, or to cut them out entirely, or to be guided by them into thinking and behaving in offensive ways. What we need to do is engage the Torah. We need to wrestle with it, and try to understand it, to figure out where it’s coming from and learn how we can progress from it, because the Torah is not unchanging. It belongs in each of our hearts, and it changes for us as we study it, as each generation challenges its old assumptions.”

With Star Wars: The Force Awakens, director J.J. Abrams sought to prop up and revitalize the most popular film franchise in movie history, to preserve its qualities in amber for a new generation. The Force Awakens was very concerned about what you, the moviegoer and fan, thinks about Star Wars. It wants to please you. It wants to be comfort food. And it’s very, very good at that.

But with Star Wars: The Last Jedi, director Rian Johnson wants to burn Star Wars to the ground. Not because he harbors ill will toward it, but because he loves it. He loves it so much that he wants to cleanse the garden and allow something fresh and new to grow. The Last Jedi is not concerned about what you, the moviegoer and fan, thinks about Star Wars. It wants to challenge you and make you question what Star Wars is and what it can be.

(This post contains major spoilers for Star Wars: The Last Jedi.)

An Answer to the Ellipsis

Star Wars: The Force Awakens concludes with one helluva cliffhanger. The Force-sensitive Rey arrives on the planet Ahch-To, tracks down the elusive Jedi master Luke Skywalker, and offers him his long-lost lightsaber. Luke’s face flashes with a dozen different emotions. You can practically feel the words crawling up his throat. And then the film ends, to be continued in two years. It’s a grand moment. An epic moment. A perfect finale for a film built out of questions and mysteries, a film about legacies and the shadows they leave behind.

And when we return to that scene in Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Luke Skwalker accepts the lightsaber from Rey, examines it for a hot second, and casually tosses it over his shoulder. From its opening scenes, The Last Jedi makes it very clear where it stands – everything you thought this movie was going to be is incorrect. The symbols you hold dear, the symbols that J.J. Abrams held so dear in your stead, are being deliberately stripped of their power. If that shakes you, if that upsets you…well, that’s just Rian Johnson preparing you for what’s next. Abrams left him with an ellipsis, a “to be continued” that felt like a specific path. And Johnson takes a hard left turn in his land speeder, breaks through a fence, and goes off track into the wilderness.

Star Wars has gone off the rails. Either you’re going to be on board for the bumpy ride to a new place or you’re not. But the intentions are made early and they’re made perfectly clear.

Legends Bleed

Mark Hamill famously disagreed with Johnson on the direction of Luke Skywalker when he first read the screenplay for The Last Jedi, and it’s clear why. Luke, the farm boy who became a war hero who became a warrior knight who became his father’s savior, has fallen into disgrace. While The Force Awakens featured a Han Solo falling back into his old scoundrel ways (a position of comfort for those worried about a watered-down take on a character who was at his best when he wasn’t playing nice), The Last Jedi features a Luke Skywalker that is unlike anything we’ve seen before – a broken shell of a man who believes that everything he fought for and achieved was for naught. By telling young Rey that none of this matters, he’s also telling the audience the same thing. The stuff you love? The details that have reshaped pop culture and created a geek language that everyone speaks? Yeah, they’re wonky. Or rather, they’re broken. Your faith was flawed.

Luke’s hopelessness is especially affecting because the film is clearly on his side. This is not a movie where a plucky young Jedi-to-be shows up at the old master’s doorstep and teaches him how to hope again. This is a movie where a flawed old man with a lifetime of victories and regrets informs the decisions of a new generation of young heroes who need to find a new way to hope. Clearly, the old ways didn’t work because darkness rises again and there are still tyrannical man-babies trying to be the next Darth Vader. There’s a flaw in the system, buried too deep for most to see, and the only solution is to burn it all down.

The Last Jedi chooses to make this literal, as Luke Skywalker, wild and enraged, moves to burn down the ancient tree housing the ancient Jedi texts. But he doesn’t get to do it. Instead, the ghost of Yoda, the wizened master who trained him decades earlier, arrives, summons a lightning bolt, and does the job for him. This Yoda (once again depicted with a physical puppet after years of being a CGI creation) is very much the character we first met in The Empire Strikes Back – eccentric and wise and silly and profound in equal measure, the kind of old weirdo who has found grace and power in just letting go.

Johnson is clearly not a fan of the militarized, commanding Yoda of the prequels and the animated Clone Wars TV show. This Yoda cackles as he burns down what remains of the Jedi religion, the court jester whose mischief always carries greater meaning. This Yoda knows what Luke knows – the order to which he dedicated his long life is gone, and trying to recapture it is a fool’s errand. Why resurrect an archaic institution that cannot serve a new generation when you can let that new generation build something new for itself? Even Luke, a noble man who believed in the hidden goodness of Darth Vader, gave into his darkest feelings and considered murdering young Ben Solo in his sleep. The old ways failed Luke. They failed Ben. They will fail the Resistance. Luke knows this through anger and regret. Yoda knows this through wisdom and perspective.

It’s important that Johnson lets Yoda burn it all down and not Luke – the passing of the torch is not just the result of the failure of an old man who learned things the hard way, but it comes with the blessing of the wisest character in Star Wars canon. Luke knows that the Jedi must end, that they do not monopolize the Force, and that evil has flourished on their watch. But where Luke saw despair, Yoda sees a chance for renewal. Where J.J. Abrams saw a warm and comforting blanket that makes you feel really good, Rian Johnson sees that stagnation is the death of all things. Stagnation leads to Empires and First Orders. Hitting the reset button, breaking the machine, leads to revolutions. And after 40 years of circling similar ideas, Star Wars could use a revolution.

That revolution feels especially well-timed, as fans discuss whether or not “Luke would have done that.” Geeky debates will always exist (they’re the reason Star Wars thrives today), but maybe we should hone in on what The Last Jedi is telling us. Maybe it’s dangerous to worship our heroes to the point of idolatry, to convince ourselves that they can never do wrong, never make mistakes, and never let their hubris create monsters that threaten a new generation. Johnson sends Luke out on a high note, allowing him one more showdown with his former pupil in a fight that is pacifistic resistance at its most grand and extreme, but it’s the final gasp of the hero we once knew. Long live Luke Skywalker…but never forget that he erred. That he done fucked up.

Breaking Expectations

It’s easy to imagine Rian Johnson watching The Force Awakens and being thrilled. It’s a thrilling movie. It does that. It’s also easy to imagine Rian Johnson watching The Force Awakens and noting, “This Supreme Leader Snoke guy kinda sucks. I should do something about that.”

Despite being positioned as the Big Bad of the new trilogy, the overlord pulling the strings, Supreme Leader Snoke barely leaves an impression during his appearances in both Star Wars movies. His generic flavor of Almighty Galaxy-Destroying Jerk is something we’ve seen several times in Star Wars and countless times elsewhere. He’s dull. He’s especially dull when compared to the angsty, flawed, and powerfully human Ben Solo/Kylo Ren, played with such intensity and raw pain by Adam Driver.

But The Last Jedi knows our expectations. It knows that we think Snoke will remain a threat through the next movie and that Ben will find redemption. It focuses on Ben’s internal conflict as it showcases Snoke’s incredible power. As the son of Han Solo grows more sympathetic, his leader grows more godlike, revealing a command of the Force that allows him to flick enemies and allies alike around his throne room like gnats. The Last Jedi makes Kylo Ren more vulnerable as it makes Supreme Leader Snoke more unstoppable.

So yes, the death of Snoke is a disarming twist and a beautifully staged one – Snoke’s command of the Force bites him in the ass when he reads Ben’s feelings and intentions but cannot understand where they’re pointed. One little Force push from Ben Solo and Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber is activated, cutting the Supreme Leader in half and ending his reign of terror an entire movie earlier than anyone expected. It’s shocking. It’s hilarious. It’s bound to anger fans who have spent the past two years attempting to discern the identity of Snoke. Quite frankly, The Last Jedi doesn’t care about Snoke and it reacts accordingly – your Snoke theory never mattered because Snoke never mattered.

Part of this reflects Johnson’s interest in Ben Solo and his lack of interest in Snoke (can you blame him?), but it’s also a perfect reflection of the grander ideas at work in The Last Jedi. Luke Skywalker loomed large, but in the end, he was just a bitter old man with a chip on his shoulder. Snoke loomed large, but in the end, he was just an vicious old bastard whose backstory is unimportant and who gets stabbed in the back by his angsty student. In a universe where everything is connected, where we’ve been trained to expect greater meanings and profound truths, this is a punch to the gut. Not everything is connected. The mightiest can fall. And at some point, they probably should.

Snoke probably mattered once upon a time, to someone. But he’s gone now. Luke Skywalker mattered to the galaxy, but his time is over. The future has been yanked from the hands of past masters and the universe will be reshaped by Kylo Ren and Rey, who are both fighting for the same thing from opposite directions: the chance to build a future beyond the command of a generation that failed. Johnson’s decision to bring us even closer to Ben Solo, even allowing him to fight alongside Rey in an incredible lightsaber fight, before doubling down on him being irredeemable may be the best choice in a movie filled with audacious choices. Just because Darth Vader was redeemed doesn’t mean his nephew is going down the same path. And yeah, the motivations of this new villain make a certain amount of sense, don’t they? That should trouble you as much as it troubles Rey.

(As a side note, the sudden demise of Snoke feels akin to General Hux’s transformation into bumbling comedic relief. Some may take issue with him being reduced to a punching bag, but it once again feels like Johnson taking an ill-defined character from The Force Awakens and running wild with him, giving him something to do. The same goes for Maz Kanata, who is funnier and wilder in her brief cameo here than she was in The Force Awakens.)

Save the Things You Love

If the death of Snoke was The Last Jedi bursting a bubble, the revelation about Rey’s parents is…an even bigger bursting of an even bigger bubble. The Last Jedi is a movie about disappointment – your heroes are broken, your allies failed you, and your mystery parents, whose identity has been driving your entire existence so far, aren’t Skywalkers or Solos or Kenobis. They’re just some schmoes who sold you off and left you to rot on a backwater planet. If your last name is Skywalker, you’re destined for greatness. It’s a given. But what does it mean if your name is Rey? Just Rey?

The Last Jedi is full of nobodies brushing shoulders with somebodies. Rey discovers that her parents were drunks, simple traders who didn’t care about her, even as she trains under the legendary Luke Skywalker. Poe Dameron must grapple with the fact that he’s taking orders from General Leia Organa, a woman who has suffered and bled and fought for the Galaxy for 30 years, and therefore knows what’s right more often than him. And poor Rose must come to terms with the fact that Finn, a “hero” of the Resistance, is prepared to desert the moment things get tough. The new men and women of Star Wars (with the notable exception of Kylo Ren) are profoundly ordinary. Or rather, they’re profoundly ordinary people forced to live up to the extraordinary people around them, even as those extraordinary people often let them down.

I imagine we’ll see Star Wars fans upset about Rey not being a secret Skywalker or a Kenobi or a clone of Emperor Palpatine or the reincarnated Anakin Skywalker (the internet is a bad place), but Rey’s origin as just a person is more powerful than even the most shocking twist. Luke Skywalker and Anakin Skywalker emerged from a nothing planet as nobodies and rose to the occasion, stumbling into destinies they could never have imagined. To tie every character of significance to them and their circle of allies and enemies would be to rob them of their power. The beauty of Star Wars, since its earliest days, has been the depiction of heroes coming from every corner and every walk of life. A farm boy. A princess. A smuggler. They have no business saving the galaxy, but damn it, they have to! Who else will?

And now we have an orphaned scavenger abandoned by her completely un-noteworthy parents, a conflicted deserter from a vicious military regime, and a skilled pilot with a lot to learn about leadership. The next generation of Star Warsheroes are born from disappointment, the disappointment of having to live in the shadow of heroes and the disappointment of having to fight the war that those heroes failed to actually win all those years ago. No one should have to do this. No young person should have to go to war. Why should these kids, with no connection to the previous generation beyond being unfortunate enough to exist in the same galaxy as Luke, Han, and Leia, suffer for the sins of the Skywalker family?

They shouldn’t, but this is the hand that was dealt to them. And they’re going to fight because that’s what heroes do, no matter where they come from. Secret parentage that supplies an easily digestible explanation for your superpowers is for chumps…and Jedi masters who spend their final days in self-imposed exile.

A Long Time Ago…

Think back to the original Star Wars, the 1977 film, back before it was subtitled “A New Hope” and before it inspired an entire multimedia franchise. Look at the man who made it: George Lucas, a young hotshot, a proper artist, whose previous brush with science fiction resulted in the grim THX 1138. That film wears its politics, and its anger and frustration, on its sleeve. And while Star Wars is an infinitely more accessible film, it’s still the work of the same man and he’s still speaking the same language. A “fun” movie about a team of freedom fighters battling an oppressive, fascist regime is inherently political. Lucas knew this more than anyone and he even kept it alive in the much-derided prequels, which ended up being an entire trilogy of films about the failure of democracy in the face of a tyrannical despot.

When Lucas conceived Star Wars, it was as fresh and radical as anything else made in the American New Wave of the ’70s. But by Return of the Jedi, the ragtag Rebel alliance felt safer and the Force more of a superpower than a mystical way of life. An already simple premise was made simpler, an undesirable turn after The Empire Strikes Back doubled down on Lucas’ original concepts. It’s telling that The Force Awakens feels like a cinematic adaptation of our nostalgic feelings about Star Wars instead of a Star Wars movie as conceived by George Lucas.

Perhaps that’s why The Last Jedi is such a jarring experience, one that feels specifically built to make audiences work through their feelings about this universe. Rian Johnson is unabashedly political and unafraid to slaughter the sacred cows. The First Order isn’t just a group of guys whose costumes provide cool cosplay opportunities – they are fascists, evil and cold and frightening. The Resistance isn’t a team of plucky heroes – they are a band of fighters who are specifically cast with diverse men and women to reflect the fears and frustrations of millennials who feel trapped and afraid in a world where resistance often feels futile (and who really wouldn’t mind tearing apart a casino city operated by the 1%). The Force isn’t just a cool excuse for heroes to lift rocks – it is something mystical and mysterious that cannot be easily explained and comprehended, something that even Luke Skywalker has a complex relationship with at this point.

Even the Lando surrogate, the unnamed codebreaker played by Benicio del Toro, offers no easy answers as he betrays our heroes and doesn’t even reach for apology or redemption. Even the goofy humor that arrives early and often is a departure from the norm, a case of Johnson making the movie his own rather than following a style guide. The Last Jedifeels like a movie young George Lucas, passionate and bold, would have made. It feels like a proper Star Wars movie by refusing to feel like a Star Wars movie.

The Force Awakens and Rogue One: A Star Wars Story want to please you. They want to hit familiar beats and remind you why you love Star Wars. They are so much fun. But The Last Jedi doesn’t want to remind you of anything. It doesn’t care about your relationship with Star Wars. The only relationship that matters here is Rian Johnson’s relationship with Star Wars, and for the first time in a long time, here is a Star Wars movie with a proper point of view, one delivered by a storyteller who is unafraid to shatter a universe he loves, to break down the heroes that mean so much to him. A wise and noble Luke is easy. A Luke with regrets? That’s hard. That’s tough to swallow. That’s what elevates The Last Jedi beyond a simple retread – it asks you to take these characters seriously in a way that other Star Wars films have not, to acknowledge them as something beyond a vessel for escapism. Star Wars can only matter in the long run if it’s given the room to grow. And right now, it feels like the sky is the limit. Right now, Star Wars feels…unsafe.

And that feels great.

###

I find this to be one of the better thought-provoking reviews out there of “Star Wars: The Last Jedi.” I, personally, am glad that Rian Johnson had the guts to make the movie he wanted to make and not be swayed by public opinion. Truly great movies are born out of a strong point of view, not by appeasing to crowdsourced ideas or demands from moviegoers. Not all viewers may like or agree with a filmmaker’s opinion, but then, there is no way that a film can be everything to everyone - and it shouldn’t be. I applaud Rian Johnson for the courage to make such an unapologetically bold film - it’s stunningly good.

I recently saw a video of a young woman talking about all of the reasons our generation, the Millennials, sucks and that’s she’s sorry for what we’ve become. Here is my, a fellow Millennial, response:

You say we’re just ‘existing’ and not ‘contributing anything to society.’ The oldest Millennial is 34, the youngest is 12, we haven’t had time to contribute anything yet. We’re trying to survive in a world that no other generation has had to grow up in, with a tanked economy and most of our childhood hearing nothing but war in the Middle East on the news while also being profoundly connected. We didn’t do that.

You say we’re no longer polite, we don’t say ‘no, sir’ or ‘no ma’am’ anymore and we no longer hold the door open for our elders or women. We also don’t expect low-paid workers to break their backs for us, or at yell at them when they make a mistake, like my 60-year-old grandfather does. We say ‘no problem’ when there’s a mistake in order, and politely stand by while the 40-something-year-old soccer mom huffs and rolls her eyes as the new girl struggles to punch in the correct code.

You say our music objectifies women and glorifies drugs and criminals. There has been no significant change from the songs that were once sung or the singers who sang them. Many of the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s performers were drug addicts, womanizers, and criminals in their own right. Elvis Presley was child abuser, John Lennon raped his many girlfriends and most of the music I grew up listening, which was 80’s rock, were performed by habitual drug abusers. Let’s not pretend like human nature took a drastic turn when 1983 rolled around.

You say we cuss to prove a point. We, as a generation, have learned it’s not the words we fucking use, it’s the passion in them that we care about. As a generation, we’ve become more interested in politics and the world around us, cursing is minor problem when we consider the political climate the older generation has plunged us into.

You say we use ‘bae’ to describe the ones we love. Bae, originally, means ‘before anyone else’ which is incredibly romantic in my opinion. Bae is also hardly ever taken seriously, it’s a jokey way to talk about someone you love. Language changes, I doubt people were happy when we changed ‘wherefore’ into ‘why.’ The greatest injustice we can do to our language and culture is not allow it to evolve and grow with us.

You say we idolize people like Kim Kardashian and shame people like Tim Tebow. Kim Kardashian is a business woman who had a private video she made with a lover illegally revealed. Instead of fading into obscurity, she stood tall and did not let the sexual shaming she endured stop her and now runs a multi-million dollar industry, is married to one of the richest men in the world, and had two beautiful children. Tim Tebow is a Christian who was criticized by a few people for praying in an open stadium while most people just wanted to see a game.

You say we’re lazy and entitled, we want to make a lot of money and get a free education but we’re not willing to put in the work. We are not lazy. I cannot tell you how many people I meet who have gone to school full time while working a part or even full-time job just to make ends meet. We’re not entitled, we’re bitter. In the 70’s, you could work a part time job over the summer and pay your way through four years of school because tuition was $400, now just to walk in the door of your local community college you need to drop $14,000. We have kids who aren’t even old enough to drink, yet are already $20,000 deep in debt. Debt that won’t go away because even filing for bankruptcy won’t erase it. And even with that education, there’s no guarantee you’ll find something in your field. I have a friend who has a degree in microbiology and she’s making $9 an hour selling $15 candles. I have another friend who has a masters in Sport Psychology and Counseling. She’s a bartender. My parents bought a three bedroom house in the suburbs in the late 90’s while my generation is imagining apartments with breezy windows and trying to get enough money to get food while we scrounge up less than $8 a week.

You say we spend more time online making friends and less time building relationships and our relationship’s appearance on Facebook is more important than building the foundation that relationship is based on. We are a generation that is profoundly connected and no other generation has seen this before. We have more opportunities to meet people from all over the world and better chances to understand other worldviews and lifestyles. Being able to stay home and talk to people over the internet is cheaper and more relaxing than having to force yourself to interact with people in public settings after a long day of minimum wage labor. The people I talk to more over the internet are people I have been friends with for years. It’s easier to talk about the day’s events over Skype or Facebook Messenger than arrange a day to meet in person when you have conflicting schedules. I truly don’t believe most people care what others think of their friendship or how their relationships ‘look’ on social media. Most often what you are calling ‘our relationship’s appearance on Facebook’ are documented and searchable memories.

You say our idea of what we believe in is going on Facebook and posting a status on Facebook. Not everyone can join in with the crowds of protesters. It’s easy to see what others have to say through the comments and argue back without the threat of violence. And when this generation does organize events to stand up for ourselves, it’s met with childish name-calling or being reduced to a ‘riot.’

You say we believe the number of follows we have reflects who we are as a person. It’s nice knowing there’s 20 or 50 or maybe even 100 people who care what you have to say or think. We live in an age where we can and will be heard.

You say we don’t respect our elders, that we don’t respect our country. Our elders grew up in one of the greatest economic booms in history and in turn made it the worst economic situation since the 1930’s all while blaming kids who were only five at the time for it. We stand on our flag because it means nothing, it’s a pretty banner for an ugly lie. We’re a country that says you can make it if you just work hard enough while, in the end, that will almost never happen. We’re a country that becomes irate at the idea of 20-something college kids standing on some canvas dyed red, white, and blue but seem to shrug off the millions of homeless, disabled veterans.

You say we’re more divided than ever before. Ever before what? When black folk couldn’t drink from the same fountain as white folk? When women couldn’t vote? When white southerners fought for the idea that they could keep black people as slaves? We’re a generation that is done with injustice and when you fight for social change, you will divide people.

You say everything that was frowned up is celebrated. What does that mean? We frowned up gay marriage. We frowned upon wives being able to say no to sex with their husbands. We frowned up interracial marriage. We frowned up black folk being allowed to go to school with white folk. We frowned upon women being allowed to vote. Are those things not worth celebrating?

You say nothing has value in our generation, that we take advantage of everything. We value friendship more, we value the fists of change, we value social justice and family and the right to marry those we love. We value the right to be yourself, wholly and fully. We value the right to choose and we value the idea of fighting what you believe in, even when everyone older than you is telling you you’re what’s wrong with the country.

You say we have more opportunities to succeed than those before but we don’t ‘appreciate’ them. We are a bitter generation. You can finance a boat for 3.9% but you have to pay back college tuition plus 8.9%. We may have more opportunities but those opportunities cost money we don’t have.

You say you can see why we’re called ‘Generation,’ but we’re not Generation Y, we’re Millennials and we do feel entitled. We were promised a strong economy and inexpensive education. We had the world in our hands and we were going to make it better. And it was ripped away from us because of incompetent rulers, illegal wars, and greedy corporations and we get blamed for it. Crime has gone down, abortion and unintended pregnancy has lowered, people are living longer, people are more educated, people are less likely to die from violent crime or diseases, yet my generation is touted as the worst generation and for what? Crimes that we’re accused of that happened before we could even wipe our own ass? We were raised better, and we were raised in a society that treated, and continues to treat, us like garbage. And we are done. We are not sorry, we did nothing wrong.

2

A lot of children of this generation have their entire lives made public before they have a say about what they would want. I think it should always be a choice. I love social media, and I love what it can do and how it brings people together, but used in the wrong way, it’s incredibly dangerous. And, increasingly, our attention is our most important resource. Before the press tour, I deleted my e-mail app from my phone and really tried to create serious boundaries from it, because it is addictive. We need to make sure that we are using technology, and technology is not using us. 

alright but michael schur has literally been making shows that heavily coincide with a lot of the shit millenials go through. parks and rec shows us the bright sides and mocks the trivialities and bullshit of politics, giving us characters to look up to and root for. giving us an attitude worth striving to maintain while also lampshading just how terrible democracy can be.

in brooklyn 99, he gave us a vision of what we wish we could see reflected in our police. a diverse cast of folks who genuinely care about the needs of their people and taking down the bad guys while making poignant, but still funny remarks on social injustice. in some cases, they even show that the “bad guys” are still people with skewed moral compasses, while some are just straight-up evil and need to be stuck behind bars. but it’s okay, because that’s what their job is and 99% of the time (see what i did there?), they’re competent.

NOW THE GOOD PLACE? oooh man. the existential dread and oft times suicidal tendencies of our generation, coupled with the uncertainty of what lies beyond the veil?

point i’m trying to make: please watch the good place. michael schur hasn’t let us down yet (correct me if i’m wrong, please). he’s isn’t going to queer bait us into oblivion (see: rosa diaz), and will probably have some uplifting message while also making us laugh.

I want to go on a date with you

Don’t get me wrong, laying in bed and watching Netflix with someone is fun, but it’s not the same as going on a real date.

Let’s plan a place and a time. We’ll both get ready and dress cute. There won’t be a text when they’re outside, but a knock on the front door. Car doors will be opened for one another and hands will be held on the drive there. Let us talk about life and our dreams, what we wanted when we were young compared to now.

Our generation is so scared to be intimate with someone on a level other than sex. Go on a date, talk about things, get to know them, make them feel appreciated.

If they’re different to you, be different with them.

PPP 79

Episode 79 of the Pizza Party Podcast was probably the most frustrating episodes I had to sit through. With that being said I am happy that people are enjoying the abridged edit that Pan made of the podcast. But my god I hope we do not ever have that guest on the podcast again.

We had a toy reviewer from the early days of Youtube, Pan and myself were both big fans of his videos when he started out. Our guest’s videos where the Youtube equivalent of a dad joke. safe, cooky, charming, with cringe peppered in. Perfect for the Pizza Party Podcast.

We’ve had guest on who loved to talk about themselves, hell at a point of time I was one of those people. You’re on the podcast to promote yourself, we all get it. But you have to realize this was an abridged edit of the recording. The recording was originally 3 hours long, and we edited it down to an hour and a half to make it more enjoyable to the viewers. Which props to Pan because based off the fan response he did his job perfectly. 

I don’t watch episodes of the Pizza Party Podcast that I am on, because believe it or not I hate the sound of my own voice; and while I’m barely in it I can’t watch this episode to see what’s different. I do want to try and share some highlights of the recording;

- We hadn’t started recording yet, and the guest went right into a story that was both fascinating and interesting. Pan asked him to hold off til we start recording, but he continued anyways. I had to stop interrupt him two more times before he stopped. And he never went back to the story. It was about how he worked on Alf.
- He criticized Pan twice in the recording. Once telling Pan that he should be leading the conversation since it’s his podcast and then continued to bulldoze Pan with another tangent before Pan could even respond. The second time he criticized the podcast because we weren’t doing it live and his fans can’t ask him questions directly. 
- He claimed Disney makes nothing memorable, but when we gave suggestions to memorable songs, he ignored us and continued rambling about his opinions on Disney. Including but limited to Cars 3 being better than Cars and Aladdin having the most mistakes ever made in movie history.
- Almost all of his advice and suggestions on how to perform on social media are super commonly known and are stuff that social media platforms promote. Hashtags are important, you can see audience retention in the creator studio. Basic Youtube creator knowledge that Youtube promotes or networks like Frederator repackage as advice.
- Nolan and I both muted our mics part way though and had a separate Skype text conversation. At one point we watched one of Pan’s unlisted videos during the podcast, instead of participating. 
- At one point our guest talked about his magazine collection.
- He condescending talked down to us about what our generation is into even though as members of our own age group we didn’t know. 
- Almost all of his claims and stories can’t be fact check because of some NDA, IMDB being wrong, someone was asleep, or various other complications.

With that being said, that podcast in its full entirety was like being stuck with your grandpa who has some story about everything, and you can’t leave. 3 hours of it that was mind numbing. And the following gif captures my emotional arc during the podcast;

The reason why a lot of men don’t know how to pursue a Godly wife isn’t always because they don’t desire it, but many are simply not ready, or, they don’t even know how to pursue a woman in a Godly way. In the same way we as women have doubts, insecurities, and questions about Godly relationships, we can’t forget that guys have these too.

This can be frustrating and may cause you feel like they’re getting nowhere when it comes to relationships, but the answer isn’t to try and solve all of these problems yourself. The answer is to pray for your brothers in Christ like you pray for your sisters: that God will prepare their hearts and that they’ll know their worth.

In the same way women are pressured to get married, many guys get similar pressure too. In the same way that women can be tempted to just date around, men deal with the same things. In the same way women deal with issues when it comes their bodies, sexual purity, and other things, men face issues as well. Of course women deal with issues that are distinct to being a woman, but the point is, let us not forget to pray for our brothers too.

If a guy has wronged you, this does not mean that his actions are inexcusable. What it means is no matter what, he’s still not outside of the realm of God’s grace. There is still hope for him AND for a generation that seems at times to have lost its way. So let us pray and do this:

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” - Hebrews 4:16

You don’t have to date a guy so you can try to change him. Let God change him. Why? Because God is not caught off guard by how “bad” the dating scene is or how much help someone needs. He doesn’t look at a single woman in her 30’s and say there’s no hope for her. He doesn’t look at a woman who’s been heartbroken yet still desires marriage and say “that’s just too bad.” He doesn’t look at a young man who doesn’t know his worth in Christ and say “there’s no way I could pour my love onto a sinner like that.” He looks at ALL of us with love, so let us look at each other in the same way!

Words by @morganhnichols for #QWCDevos

protectsiriusblack  asked:

"quiet, they can hear us" jeddy<333

God, I love these two so much.

  • Huge family dinners were a regular occurrence in the Potter household.
  • Everyone brought food and drink (which mostly led to them having 8 bottles of wine and 10 different desserts)
  • People usually arrived in the same order as well.
  • Ginny would open the door for Hermione, Ron and the kids right on time. Next came Molly and Arthur a few minutes later. Fred’s family maybe 10. Bill and Fleur a few minutes after them and so on.
  • When it got past the hour mark, only James was left waiting by the door, sat on the bottom step of the staircase.
  • He’d entertain himself, picking threads from the carpet, until he heard the faint pop just outside the door.
  • He was up in a second, swinging the door open.
  • Teddy’s fist was still raised in a motion to knock. He didn’t have time to lower it, his smile hadn’t even fully formed on his face before James was pulling him over the threshold by the collar of his jacket and molding their lips together.
  • Teddy let out a surprised, breathy laugh into James’ mouth, before kissing back hungrily.
  • “Late. As usual.” James mumbled against Teddy’s mouth before pressing another hard kiss to it.
  • Teddy smirked, palms warm around James’ hips as he backed him up against the hall closet. His teeth scraped gently against James lip, “Waiting. As usual.”
  • James scoffed and Teddy leaned back, only enough so that he could see Teddy clearly. Their hips and most of their chests still pressed together.
  • “I wouldn’t have to wait if you weren’t always so late.”
  • Teddy grinned, “Why on earth would I be on time when instead I get kissed before I’m even through the door? Besides…” He leaned in again, nosing along James’ cheek, lips dragging along his jaw, “If I was on time, there would be family everywhere and we wouldn’t get to do this…”
  • James bit his lip, head falling back against the closet door as Teddy started placing open-mouthed kisses down the column of his neck.
  • “Yeah…” James’ fingers curled into Teddy’s hair, eyes falling shut, “Maybe you should be late.”
  • “Mhm.” Teddy answered shortly, mouth otherwise occupied with one of James’ collarbones.
  • James only just had the mind to tell him off about leaving any marks, “I got way too many questions last time- especially from dad.”
  • Teddy withdrew his head and raised an eyebrow at James, “What was Harry doing asking questions about a hickey on your neck?”
  • Because.” James said distressed, “He’s always asking if I’ve met anyone and then there was that so obviously I had met someone-“
  • There was a sudden voice from the other room, “James? Is Ted here yet?”
  • James’ eyes widened, “Speak of the devil.”
  • Teddy bit his lip, eyeing the already forming splotch of purplish-red on Teddy’s collar bone where his lips had been moments before, “C’mon.”
  • He hurriedly opened the closet door and yanked James inside after him before closing it as quietly as possible.
  • “What the-“
  • Shh.” Teddy pressed a finger to James lips.


  • “James? Are you even out there?”
  • When no reply came again Harry sighed, leaning in to kiss Ginny on the cheek, “Be right back.”
  • Ginny nodded, “I swear to Merlin, if he’s eating the cake again-“
  • Harry laughed, before making his way into the entry hall. He was about to call out James’ name again when-
  • “What the bloody hell are we doing in here?”
  • Harry’s eyes instantly narrowed in on the closet - the source of what was clearly James’ voice.
  • Quiet- they can hear us.”
  • Another voice. Harry tilted his head, risking one step forward, trying to figure out who it was. It was clearly a boy’s.
  • “Well, I don’t understand why we couldn’t have just gone out there and then, y’know, finished that off later, they’re gonna wonder where we a-“
  • “No… What they’re going to wonder about is… that…”
  • There was a beat of silence before, “Teddy!”
  • Ah, Harry thought, So Teddy.
  • Ironic really, that the two boys had taken to hiding something that practically everyone had already guessed about.
  • “The second I tell you not to- and then you already have- Jesus fucking christ, it’s the dead of summer I can’t wear a fucking turtle neck!-“
  • “I’m sorry. I can’t- you’r just so-“ A sigh, “I can’t help it..”
  • Harry smirked, guessing as to what they were talking about.
  • “Well- Well-“ James cursed, “Why do you have to be so fucking cute about it-“

  • “I’m not cute-“
  • “You’re bloody cute. Now let’s get out of here before anyone comes. I don’t hear anything, I think it’s safe-“
  • With a start Harry saw the door handle starting to turn. He tried to casually sprint back into the living room and huffed down into his previous spot on the couch.
  • Ginny raised an eyebrow, “What’s wrong?”
  • “What?” Harry puffed, “Nothing. Why is something wrong?”
  • Ginny’s brow arched further. Harry endured her stare for only a moment before cracking.
  • He leaned in, “Y’know James?”
  • “Our son?”
  • “Yeah.”
  • Ginny shot him a look, “Well, yes Harry, I do believe I know James.”
  • “Oh.” Harry flushed, “Right. Well, y’know Teddy?”
  • Yes. Of course, what are you-“
  • Harry was the one to raise his eyebrows this time.
  • “What- oh. Oh.”
  • Ginny grinned, “Well at least now we know why he never brings anyone home.”
4

Emma Watson photographed by Peter Lindbergh for Interview Magazine (May 2017)

A lot of children of this generation have their entire lives made public before they have a say about what they would want. I think it should always be a choice. I love social media, and I love what it can do and how it brings people together, but used in the wrong way, it’s incredibly dangerous. And, increasingly, our attention is our most important resource. Before the press tour, I deleted my e-mail app from my phone and really tried to create serious boundaries from it, because it is addictive. We need to make sure that we are using technology, and technology is not using us. 

anonymous asked:

여러분 모두가 대중 문화를 망치고 있습니다. 그래서 자신의 차선으로 돌아갈 수 있습니까? 당신서구인들이 조각이나 쓰레기 같은 그냥 멈춰.

Translated: All of you are ruining popular culture. So can you go back to your own lane? You Westerners just stop like pieces or trash.

SEE. THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. this is the kinda of things i have been getting for simply defending the western fans that have DONE NOTHING WRONG. I will speak my mind up because fans are fans and we are all family and should just love and support our idols

peter parker deserves everything. we’ve seen him multiple times get shit on because he’s just a teenager and i’m tired because he’s a teenager who is frustrated with everything going on in society and is just trying to do the right thing. seeing that little part with peter getting mad at tony is a big wake up call to adults and a big ‘fuck you’ to when adults do something that is going to mess up teens/young adults lives. we are warning adults about what their actions are doing to our society and they’re not listening!!!!!, so seeing peter finally stand up to himself is really important. i’m glad we’re getting an angry peter parker because our generation is fucking angry in where we’re headed as a nation and a world. this movie is going to be so important because we’re finally going to see corruption through a kid’s point of view and how much it’s actually hurting the younger generation. to the adults out there who think we’re angry for the wrong reasons, lazy and useless to society, watch out because we’re coming for you.

Just Friends~Part 6

Part 6 YAS! 

I hope you like it as much as I do :D

-2 664 words

smut/ angst

~Jungkook is still jealous.~

prologuepart 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

(gif isn’t mine credit to owner)


Jinyoung and I were having drinks celebrating our new promotion.

“I can’t believe we’re going to do this!” he exclaimed.

“Me neither, I mean this is a big task it isn’t any joke! I’m so happyyyyyy!”

Our boss asked us to organize a party. Not any party, this was one asked by Seunguri, the member of BigBang, the greatest kpop group. Apparently he wanted to unite the new generation of kpop idols. It was a big commission and I was excited but scared I wouldn’t be up to his expectation.

“What if something goes wrong though?” I mumbled suddenly feeling nervous about the idea.

“Ah, don’t think about that, so long as we try our best it will be a success I know it.” he reassured me.

This was one of the reasons I enjoyed working with Jinyoung, he was always positive and knew how to reassure me which was good because the pressure put on us in this job was sometimes unbearable. We took a few drinks and chatted and we went home ready to start working on this new project the next day.


We were working so hard on our project that I didn’t have time to think about Jungkook and Yugyeom and it was the best I had felt in a while. The party was in a few days and work had never been so intense. I had so much stuff to do, and it seemed like I would never have enough time to finish it all.

Finally the day for the party arrived Jinyoung and I were there to make sure everything went ok. We had tried to make the party as intimate as we could. We had planned for there to be many different rooms. Firstly there was a big room with all the food and drinks were the main part of it all would go on, it was big enough for everyone to fit in while still having enough space to move around freely. This was the room where the dancing would go on later in the night, there were a few tables for people to sit around and chat. Upstairs and on the sides were loads of smaller rooms. Some of them were hidden in the walls and you had to pay attention to realise there was a door there, making everything mysterious and intimate. The smaller rooms were filled with couches and silky cushions. The lighting was dim and the lights hung from the ceiling. We had added plants to give an exotic feel, and to be honest I was proud of the result, so was Jinyoung, it was exactly what we wanted it to be. Seunguri had came to see us at the beginning of the party and had told us how happy he was about our work which only boosted our ego to it’s fullest. We stayed together since we didn’t know many people, and we were still working technically, we were there to direct the progress of the party. Sometimes we went in the kitchens to check if the cooks were on schedule but we mostly had fun. Jimin was there and had stopped for a chat before going back to the party. I was happy to see him he always put a smile on my face.

Then I spotted Yugyeom. 

Keep reading

Autistic knowledge

Recently I’ve become concerned that a great deal of thought on neurodiversity is becoming lost because we don’t have a way of capturing it, storing it, and successfully passing it on to the next generation of activists.

Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of starter activists on Twitter coming to ideas that I’d consider elementary as if they were their own. The process of becoming an activist doesn’t naturally lead them to the social model of disability, the importance of understanding the issues affecting people with co-morbidities (particularly marginalised ones like learning difficulties, personality disorders, and the “scarier” mental illnesses), and the importance of defining excellence on your own terms rather than anyone else’s. It takes them a while to make these discoveries, during which time they’ve already made a few points which naturally lead on from them.

In a way this is good, because these people are often hella smart and insightful and they’ve managed to make great contributions despite not having the full background. But it’s also not the best use of them, and actually it means that they’re wrong more often than they need to be. It’s so disheartening when a bright young thing on Twitter takes over a year to come up with something that better WrongPlanet users were saying 12 years ago.

Newbie neurodiversity activists should be naturally encountering these ideas early on. They could use these ideas to make pioneering insights of their own, and have a better chance of grounding their ideas in a strong framework. They won’t spend as much time “working out the obvious” and they won’t be as likely to get stuff wrong because they haven’t encountered a crucial idea yet. These are the people who are going to be our next generation of leaders and take us into the political mainstream. We need to give them all the support we can.

We need some effective primer in neurodiversity and neurodiverse thought, which ideally updates itself as thought progresses. This would both be a great intro to what neurodiversity actually is, and a great resource for all activists to refer to and keep up with. It should be easily accessible and widely known.

Does anyone have any ideas of what this could actually look like?

WHY WE NEED WOMEN-ONLY TOURNAMENTS

By Countess Signy Heri
(Kingdom of Atlantia)

I’ve been fighting in SCA armored combat for about nine years.  There was a long hiatus between years three and four, but now I’m back, and working hard at it.  I want to be a knight!  I’ve always wanted to be a knight.  Combat is just plain fun, and the thought of embodying modern Chivalric ideals makes my heart soar.

But my progress has been slow, which really bothers me.  I’m a great athlete.  I’ve excelled at a number of sports, including two martial arts, and some very physically-demanding jobs.  Excellence in armored combat, though, has seemed to elude me at every turn.  Years of practice only brought frustration punctuated by a few nasty sports injuries.  I was consistently stalled in the low-mediocre range.  Why couldn’t I crush this?

It wasn’t until a few crucial things came together, mostly through luck, that I began to feel some real progress.  I landed in a new home that was square in the middle of a lot of talented SCA peers, and started training with the formidable Duke Anton Tremayne (who, happens to be a lefty, like me.)  After several months of practice, and a lot of tweaking to my gear and armor, I entered and won the Iron Rose Tournament at our kingdom’s War of the Wings in 2016.  The Iron Rose is a ladies-only tournament sponsored by Sir Christian Thomas and his household, Yorkshire Manor.

After that full nine years of struggling, a tournament win felt GREAT - I ain’t gonna lie to you.  But great athletes need short memories, and the memory of winning doesn’t persist for very long.  The tourney itself, though - that was something entirely different.  I found that my morale, and my desire to keep driving forward on my path to knighthood, was entirely changed afterwards.  

I’ve spent the last year thinking about WHY the Iron Rose Tournament made me feel like my ultimate goal, knighthood, was suddenly within my reach.  After a year of pondering, I want to tell the Knowne World why women-only tournaments are important, and why we should support them.

Women Face Different Challenges Than Men

Before you ask, no, I  have not read “The Armored Rose” by Tobi Beck.   

I  know that women are totally capable of excelling at armored combat.  But we have some unique challenges in our paths to excellence.  I’ve spent the better part of my nine years in combat chasing my tail and getting nowhere - that takes a lot of persistence.  Or stupidity.  Your average pursuant would be completely justified in throwing his or her hands up and quitting the field in that length of time.

But I didn’t HAVE to waste so much time and effort, and neither does anyone else.

I think a little awareness of the common pitfalls that stop women from making progress can make a big difference to trainers and trainees alike.  If we want our sport to have a future, we absolutely need to be recruiting and retaining female fighters.  I think that topic deserves it’s own essay - meanwhile, let’s just focus on what keeps women from feeling successful in combat.

Our first hurdle, as aspiring combatants, is simply getting into armor.  It’s a size & shape thing - most women don’t fit into most loaner gear at practices.  If an average-sized guy shows up to a fight practice, he will most likely be fitted out with enough gear to start fighting right away.  Most of us girls?  We have to be content with some verbal instruction, or hitting someone’s shield, or sitting on the sidelines watching, until we can cobble together enough custom gear to really start fighting.   Think about what a significant barrier to entry this is - having to invest hundreds of dollars on gear, before you know if you even LIKE the sport.  We typically waste a lot of time and money fighting with our armor before we can fight with anyone on the field.  These economic and temporal burdens alone should answer the question of why women tend to migrate over to fencing instead of pursuing heavy combat.  

Our second major challenge is finding competent instruction.   After we finally manage to get into armor, women have a much longer and steeper road to initial success in combat than guys.  We need to master better technique before we can even start getting our money’s worth out of a fight, and we need more specialized instruction to get to a level where we can effectively compete in a sport with no size or weight classes.  

I’m not bashing on anyone here - I’m grateful for all the instructors who take time out of their busy lives to conduct fight practices all over the Knowne World.  They schlep all the gear,  welcome all the newcomers, try to teach everyone from the ground up, and absolutely keep our fun sport going.  

And yet - women need individualized teaching.  Once again, your average-sized guy can show up to practice, and see a whole bunch of other average-sized guys there waiting to teach him something. He’ll likely receive instruction from one of these guys, who will be able to teach him techniques that work for perfectly well for - you guessed it! - average-sized guys.  

But women are generally smaller, and we have to move and throw shots a little differently than those ASGs.  These differences are due mostly to physics and geometry.  If you teach me techniques that don’t work for me, and then rationalize that they don’t work because I’m either not strong enough, or don’t work hard enough, or can’t follow instructions, or whatever - that significantly slows down my progress.  And hurts my morale.  

It takes a competent, talented trainer to assess a specific fighter’s size and strength, come up with a training plan that is targeted to her, and ultimately enhance her likelihood of success.  Most of us can teach someone what works for US, but not everyone can imagine how to overcome obstacles that we’ve never had to personally address.  

For the record here - I’m 5’1”, 130 lbs, left-handed, and super-strong for my size.  But despite my strength, I still can’t “muscle” a shot in with poor technique, nor can I be very successful at throwing blows way over my head.  Because PHYSICS, dammit!  And geometry.

Your average-sized guy can get lucky with a few shots early on in his fighting career - he can land a few blows thanks to his height and arm strength, even with poor technique, and feel pretty good about his potential to get better.  But women rarely get those freebies at the start of our training, and it takes a lot of inner strength to keeping pushing through failure after failure before we can start feeling even mildly successful at this game.

To overcome limitations of size and strength relative to my male friends, I have to have great technique, and I have to apply it in some non-standard ways.  It wasn’t until I met Duke Anton, a truly gifted fighter and trainer, that I started learning how to use my size to my advantage, rather than blundering through fights and wondering why nothing was working. Getting better at combat isn’t a matter of luck or sweat, it’s a matter of learning how to solve common problems in different ways.  We can absolutely do it, but we need targeted training.

Women’s third major challenge is a lot messier to address, and I will likely get a lot of blowback for this, but in our path to excellence in combat, we face serious social, cultural, and emotional challenges.

Please calm down, everyone.  Just breathe for a second, take a moment, and then try to hear me out.  

Women are trained to put other people first.  Yes, this is a generalization, but consider the concept of “emotional work”.  This is a phrase that is relatively new to me, but in a nutshell, women are generally expected to bear the brunt of the emotional work in every relationship.  If we don’t show compassion, or tend to other people, or bake cookies, or pretend to care about buying a gift for a coworker’s brother’s second cousin’s baby shower, we are called unflattering names.  

We are also trained to over-apologize for basic things, for how we look, for taking up time, for taking up space, for asking for what we need, and even for being really, really good at something.  We are trained to not hurt anyone’s feelings, and that being beautiful is more important than being smart.  Maybe this sort of thing only applies to women of my generation - I’m 47 - but I think it affects women of all ages.  You’re welcome to tell me if I’m wrong. (Believe me, I’d love to be wrong about this.)

So how does this affect our progress as fighters?  Well - we apologize too much.  (I do it!  I reflexively say “Sorry!” if I hear someone grunt when I hit her.  I have to tell myself to stop it.) We do not demand enough training time at practices.  We feel bad about winning.  We lose fights in our heads before they even start sometimes, because winning just seems….pushy?  We are much too polite to that guy at practice who doesn’t fight, but who will steal all our training time mansplaining his theories on fighting, because he’s a guy, and obviously, even guys who don’t fight know more about it than girls, right?  And we waste a LOT of time doing things that take time away from our fighting.

We tend to neglect to speak up enough about our needs, and we don’t give ourselves enough credit for our accomplishments.  And we don’t tell those chatty mansplainers to shut their pieholes (please!), because we’ve only got so much time to practice.

Another big social hurdle in keeping women on the path to knighthood is that we often put fighting aside to take care of things that have been historically designated to women.  Lots of us drop out to take care of children, to support the other fighter(s) in the household, or to focus on other things that need to get done, like feeding people, making garb, teaching classes, or whatever.  

Am I saying this is bad?  No.  But if we want to fight, we need to recognize that combat takes time away from other things, and we need to give ourselves permission to claim some of that time back.  Atlantia has had several talented female fighters over the years who dropped out before they were knighted, whether for kids or relationships, or other real-world issues like job relocations.  If we’d been able to speed up their progress as fighters, and support them socially for making the choice to keep fighting, we’d likely have female knights by now, and probably a lot more ladies in armor overall.

This paragraph doesn’t even begin to touch on ALL the variations of socio-cultural nonsense that women wade through. However, the fact remains that we, ourselves, often put ourselves out of the game before it even starts.  We can fix this, but to address it effectively, we need to recognize it and talk about it first.

Now, my last category of issues that affect women fighters is the one we hate to discuss  - that is, misogyny and harassment.   Inside the fighting community in the SCA, I have occasionally encountered problems - sometimes,  bad characters won’t take shots from me.  (Yes, the answer is: hit them harder.)  Occasionally, I’ve had people “helpfully” suggest other paths I can take in the SCA, because there are just so few female knights (i.e., you think my chances of success are low, thank you.).  I have heard stories of women being derailed from heavy fighting by abusive and controlling men.  Thankfully, those stories are rare.  But all of these situations take a toll on my love of the game.

It’s really OUTSIDE of the SCA that we get our heads twisted.  That’s where women learn the painful double-standards and social punishment that accompany being a strong woman - did anyone refer to Bernie Sanders as “that nasty man”, for daring to believe he could be president?   We tell women that they can do “anything” with one side of our mouths, while neglecting to tell them with the other side of our mouths that the price is high, and that it involves a pound of flesh exacted by a thousand cuts.  We become wary of speaking out or standing out.  Ugly attention from the worst kind of trolls can make some women shun becoming leaders, and this resistance to being in the spotlight bleeds over into our hobbies as well.

Mundanely, I worked for several years as the only woman smokejumper (*elite wildland firefighter) in California.  Despite being a standout achiever in my rookie class, I got noticed more for unflattering photographs or what I was wearing than for my work.  I had to change how I spoke and how I stood (power poses, they work!) in order to be heard in meetings.  I nearly came to blows with a coworker when I was promoted over him - he loudly proclaimed that the promotion was due to my gender rather than my far-superior qualifications, and I had to shout him down in front of my boss, who remained silent.  (Rather than getting arrested for assault, later that day I stapled a copy of my resume to his locker…with a LOT of staples.)

So I’ve learned to be wary of the social cost of promotions…does this affect my performance in combat? Do I try a little less hard to win?  Maybe.  Do I fear people whispering in the future that I only got knighted because I’m a girl?  Yeah.  Do I imagine people saying that I won a fight or a tourney because someone went easy on me?  THAT keeps me awake at night.  It takes some joy out of the pursuit, believe me.  I don’t just have to be good….I have to be excellent, or I’ll never believe I’m good enough.  Thanks, Misogyny.  Thanks, Harassment.

Let me state once again, though, that I’ve generally run into more problems with misogyny/harassment in the world outside of the SCA than inside of it.  I think the armored-combat world overall is welcoming to anyone who shows the motivation to enter and progress in it.  In my experience, combatants usually have a good “dojo mentality”, where what happens on the field, stays on the field, with no hard feelings.  We have no weight classes or gender divisions in most tournaments - if you can land a good blow, you can win a fight.  But misogyny exists, and if there are problems somewhere, we need to listen attentively, raise our awareness, and root it out.  Maybe the chivalric ideals to which we aspire in the SCA can inform our behavior everywhere.  And maybe, we can help our female fighters to trust that we won’t punish them for success.  

Now let’s get back to my original assertion - that We Need More Women-Only Tournaments.

Why?  Because they will help women to be more successful, more quickly.  The inaugural WoW Iron Rose tourney in 2016 introduced me to most of the active female fighters in our kingdom, and a few from outside of the kingdom.  For the first time in my life as a fighter, I was able to actually measure my progress against my real peers, people who looked and fought like me, and who had faced the same challenges to get onto the field and keep fighting.

And afterwards, I’ve stayed in touch with most of those same women.  We can recognize each other on the battlefield.  We talk online.  We troubleshoot problems.   We give each other props and recognition.  We trade training advice, and talk about armor.  Most importantly, we encourage each other to keep going.  Sharing information, ANY information, that can help us all spend more time moving forward and less time problem solving, is imperative for retaining women in heavy combat.

It wasn’t until after the Iron Rose tourney that I realized the value of having a community of women fighters, and how isolated I had been previously. It takes a lot of persistence to keep plugging away at this game, reinventing the wheel at every step - once again, our obstacles are not common to the armored-combat community as a whole.  And it takes some serious mojo to keep wading into terra incognita - there are no female knights in this kingdom (yet), which means we’re breaking trail at every step.  

Chatting around the metaphorical water cooler with other women at these tourneys gives me valuable information, gives me a place to share what I’ve learned, and heartens me on my path to knighthood.  It also gives all of us women some language and insight for talking to our trainers, and a platform for discussing our obstacles and avenues to success.  Squires have squire’s tourneys.  Novices have novice tourneys.  Unbelts have unbelted tourneys, and knights have tournaments of chivalry.  We want to measure ourselves against our peers.  Women’s tourneys need a place on the same table, folks.

Which brings me to my central thesis here - IF WE WANT MORE WOMEN TO PARTICIPATE IN HEAVY COMBAT, WE NEED TO BUILD OUR COMMUNITY OF WOMEN FIGHTERS.  And the way to build that community is to bring us together for tournaments.  Let’s continue to make these happen, continue to urge our sisters to come out for them, and support them like our hobby depends on it….because it does.

Thanks, y’all.  - Signy

(*Thank you, Sir Christian Thomas, and thank you, Yorkshire Manor, for sponsoring the Iron Rose Tournament at WoW in 2016 and 2017.)

Dana M. Lucas (ska Signy Heri)

11/2/2017

you know what i’ll never understand about tumblr? these people literally follow hate trends. thats it. 

they never do any research into anything that they prefer to just be informed by from the media. and y’all out here preaching feminism 24/7 yet hating on every white woman (sure some may deserve it but for some its unnecessary and its only because you’ve stereotyped them all) like i ain’t even white but my coloured ass can see how hypocritical tumblr can be (and i feel like its mostly americans - not all obviously, but just a very loud minority). Honestly y’all need to stop acting like you’re so damn perfect and have never made any mistakes, bc if any of you were celebs, you’d be getting slaughtered by people like yourselves, sometimes for no damn reason.

Like do y’all ever realise that the reason celebs like Adele and Ed Sheeran are so chill is because us Brits don’t use any given opportunity to drag them into everything that goes wrong with our country - sure they could raise awareness but at the end of the day it’s not gonna help. like when the results came in that we were leaving the EU it was literally so miserable for all of our generation who this will impact, but guess what, we weren’t sitting there searching or people to blame because we haven’t conditioned ourselves to hate anyone that isn’t like us. y’all are just as bad as you think others are.

some people on here honestly need to just log out and find a better hobby because this just seems to be making them miserable

I’m just so fed up with the whole “our generation” “ugh millennials” culture.

We’re made fun of for literally everything. And people take problems that have existed for all of history and say “ugh our generation”. Like “why does nobody stay together anymore? Why does everyone cheat? Ugh, our generation”. Like people have been cheating on eachother and breaking up since the beginning of history. No it’s not our generation. Do you even hear the words coming out of your own mouth?

Or every time we have some new fad like fidget spinners or even a long lasting “fad” like Starbucks and avocado toast… were just like torn to shreds like WHY. What is so wrong with fucking avocado toast at least it’s healthy. Jeez. Leave millennials alone my god. Let people enjoy things.

i’m proud to say i got you (2/2)

this is mostly exploratory and largely self-indulgent, i just want 1A to talk about this. i’ve come to love bakugo a whole bunch so i wont vilify him, but the way the kid treated izuku back when was hecked up and for at least my own sake i want someone to admit it

summary: there’s a history behind midoriya’s stammers and full-body flinches, an ugly word for what he went through before coming to yuuei, tenya just doesn’t want to think it.

2k 4k genfic, iida & deku

story tag / ao3

x

Absolutely nothing, Tenya comes to realize, is so cut and dry as heroics. Against the backdrop of fire and wreckage, villains and victims are as easy to pick apart as black and white. It’s easy to know where to step, which way to run, who to subdue and who to rescue.

The rest of his life is very rarely as simple.

It’s one thing to know that Bakugo and Midoriya have an ugly history – to come into the understanding that Midoriya, perhaps the most transparent person Tenya knows, has a skeleton rattling noisily in the closet – but it’s something else entirely to act upon knowing that.

It’s not a simple matter, trying to shape Midoriya into a victim. Not the Midoriya who led the way during the Provisional License exam, who faced the Hero Killer in a dark alley, who risked life and limb and potentially his hero career to break into the scene at Kamino Ward and save a boy who has never been kind to him.

Midoriya smiles like a bright summer sky and shrinks like a shadow, a walking contradiction of hard-earned scar tissue and soft-spoken scruples, and Tenya doesn’t know how to believe in the uncomfortable reason why.

Keep reading