what is this rubbish

inspired by @sainzjrs post of “lewis: *eyes snap open at 3am* nico rosberg” dedicated to abby and also to @softbottas - hopefully this will cheer u up even if it’s short, love u <3 also a little bit of like car crash tw but there’s nothing too graphic caus i hate gore, but it is mentioned in passing, so just watch out for that, u can skip over it tho, it’s like brief.

-

There’s a flash of silver to the side of his eye line, the wall in front of him speeding ever closer as he and the car next to him veer off course, the  solid gravel the only thing that can slow them and preventing them from being crushed by the concrete. Lewis throws his hands up to cover his face the way he’s been instructed to do 100 times, his hands shaking as he does. 

The car skids to a halt as pieces of gravel flick up beside him, a dust cloud almost encasing the shell of the car. Lewis waits for a second before hoisting himself out of the car, anger bubbling up inside of him now that the fear he just felt has left. He turns to look at his fellow driver, who is giving him an equal look of pure loathing and frustration from underneath their helmet; Nico.

Lewis starts awake, eyes snapping open as he sits upright, breathing heavy as he stares around at the blurred room in front of him. It takes him a second to realise that this is his bedroom and it’s the middle of the night in Monaco, not a lap of a race over a year ago in Spain. The body next to him stirs, and Lewis jumps, turning to look the now awake figure.

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I haven’t seen the video, so I am really hoping what seems to have happened didn’t happen. But please don’t spout rubbish like ‘he touches himself’ or ‘he’s bound to get that happen getting that close to people’. That’s not who he is at all. And is only a few steps away from ‘what was she wearing? Well in that case it was bound to happen’. People’s bodies are their own, not yours to touch without their consent.

We're Already Married

So, I am supposed to be working on a chapter of a story and an angsty oneshot. But this fluffy drabble had to be written. It just had to.
——–


               “Draco, we need to talk.” Lucius told his son firmly as he and Narcissa walked into the room.

                “Mhm. Go ahead.” Came the little three-year-old’s distracted voice.

                Lucius rolled his eyes before stepping behind his son and peering down. “What in heaven’s name is that?”

                That had Narcissa circling the table and looking at her son’s face. His tongue was peeking out of his lips, eyes were narrowed in concentration while brows were furrowed and he seemed to be drawing something on a spare piece of parchment. She blinked uncertainly at the pure disaster of scribbles that were everywhere. If it wasn’t supposed to be a ball of rubbish, she honestly had no idea what her son was attempting to draw.

                “It’s Dobby. Can’t you tell?” Draco looked up with a wobbly lip and sad eyes as he pointed across the room to the house elf. As if the thought of it not looking like Dobby was a disaster.

                Lucius looked over for the first time and noted that the elf was in an odd pose with an apple balancing on his forehead.

                At his arched brows, Dobby hurried to explain. “Master Draco asked Dobby to be his muse.”

                “Is that so?” Lucius drawled with a heavy sigh. “Draco, you can’t order Dobby to play with you.”

                “Why not?”  

                Patience was not Lucius’ strong suit. He looked to the ceiling briefly before shaking his head. “We will have this conversation at a later date. There are more important things to discuss.”

                Draco hummed a little before looking up with wide eyes. “Am I in twouble? If so, Dobby did it.”

                A soft surprised noise emitted from the elf and Narcissa couldn’t help but laugh lightly. “No, you aren’t in trouble and don’t blame Dobby for things he didn’t do.”

                “Sowwy.” Draco apologized as he looked down at his hands.

                “Sorry.” Lucius corrected. For some reason, pronouncing R’s were hard for his son.

                Draco’s brows were pinched in confusion. “That’s what I said.”

                “No, you said—” Lucius paused as he decided to let it go. “Nevermind. What I have been trying to tell you is that we have come to discuss a pureblood tradition with you.”

                That had Draco’s expression souring. “No thanks.”

                Narcissa covered her mouth as she tried muffling her laughter. Salazar, she loved her son.

                “Draco.” The hard tone of his voice had his son straightening up and giving him a serious look. Finally.

                “When you come of age, you will be drawn into a marriage contract. This is something that most purebloods do and it is a standing tradition of the Malfoy family.” Lucius shot is wife a look when she crossed her arms. He knew that she didn’t agree and wanted Draco to find his own spouse but that wasn’t the plan.

                “I’m alweady mawried.” Draco interrupted excitedly!

                Lucius blinked rapidly. “You want to run that by me again?”

                “Hawwy asked me to mawwy him today! I said I would if he let me have his pudding. He did!”

                “And who pray tell is Hawwy?” Lucius shuddered at the pronunciation.

                “Hawwy is my best fwriend. He has pwetty eyes and he said I do too! We are mawried.”

                Narcissa smirked at her husband. “You hear that? He’s already married. Looks like that marriage contract is moot.”

                “Narcissa, you can’t possibly—”

                She stood up rapidly, holding out her hand for her son to take. “I can and I will. You want to explain to your son why he can’t marry his best friend? Because if so, you can deal with the aftermath.”

                Draco looked between them rapidly. “But…” His eyes filled with tears. “We alweady mawried.” The sniffle he released had Lucius closing his eyes. “Tomorrow’s the anni- anniver-” He scrunched up his nose as he looked to Narcissa for help.

                “Anniversary?” She offered picking him up and holding him close.

                Draco nodded rapidly as he wiped his eyes. “Yes. I want to give him a gift.”

                Narcissa smiled softly. “How about we go see if we can have one of the house elves cook him something. What kind of desserts does he like?”

                “Tweacle tawrt.”

                Lucius watched his wife and son walk out of the room with a shake of his head. He looked over and noticed that Dobby was still in the same awful pose. “Cease that at once.”

                When the elf let out a noise of relief, Lucius rolled his eyes. “What are the chances that I’ll get my way in the end?”

                He knew that Dobby couldn’t lie to him, so he was interested in hearing the response.

                The *pop* of the elf’s departure was heard and it had Lucius putting his face in his hands. “That’s what I was afraid of.”


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Babygirl

Summary: Dan is an innocent virgin and Phil is the bad-boy who likes to make him flustered. High school Pastel!Dan and Punk!Phil AU

Genre: Smut that’s kinda kinky but mostly cute

Word count: 4,039

Kinks: Feminization, daddy kink, dirty talk, a little verbal humiliation

You can also read on AO3 here.

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anonymous asked:

Please bombard me with Pining Sherlock fics. I need some.

You asked for it, you got it Nonny! This is literally my favourite trope in the entirety of existence. I have a tonne of fics, and I’m still sorting all of my bookmarks, so I probably still have more to add. I had SO MANY TO PUT ON THIS LIST, that I had to remove links to the authors, because Tumblr kept deleting all my links. So yes, over 150 fics here below, all from mostly Sherlock’s POV (@holmesthesociopath, this should help with your ask as well until I finish the list of Sherlock POV fics for you)!

Because I’ve been working on this list for over 6 months, please advise me of any broken links and I will do my best to find them again for you!

Get ready to have your face ripped off 🙃

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'Oh no.'

‘Oh no.’

Tucker hadn’t meant for this to happen. Honestly his tight ass would have paid any amount of money in the world to PREVENT this from happening.

But it had happened. He had looked over at his life long best friend sleeping against his shoulder and had been struck by the very INTIMATE urge to kiss him on his adorable little freckled nose.

This wasn’t a good thing, because said best friend’s GIRLFRIEND was sleeping against his OTHER shoulder, and every time her hair fell across her face he had to nearly bite his own fingers to stop himself from brushing her fringe aside out of her long lashed eyes.

The three of them had sat down for a movie at Sam’s place, it was one of those few calm nights where the ghosts were chilling in the Zone and NOT causing any trouble for once. Danny was absolutely delighted to spend the night with his friends doing something that DIDN’T involve ghosts.

The two lovebirds had sat beside one another on the lounge, holding hands and being, quite frankly, UNBEARABLY adorable. Tucker warned them that he’d sit on them if they didn’t stop being so mushy and things predictably escalated until they were all but a tangle of goofy limbs hanging precariously off the two seater lounge.

By the time Tucker awoke it was late morning and he was seated firmly between Sam and Danny, both having cuddled right up to him in the night, his left arm was warm under Sam’s weight, but his entire right side was borderline numb beneath Danny’s clinging arms. Boy was a leach, he had always been clingy when they shared beds as kids but back then he didn’t have a big ol’ chunk of freezing cold ectoplasm sitting pretty in his chest.

But cold be damned Tucker was squished up with BOTH his crushes practically sleeping on top of him, no force on Earth or in the Zone could possibly make him move right now. He was staying right here where he could stew in his delight and guilt for the rest of eternity.

Until Danny stirred and an arm pressed against his bladder. Heck. He needed to pee, like, really REALLY needed to pee.

Tucker stayed nestled up in the cuddle pile for as long as he could stand it before heaving a sigh so heavy even Thor couldn’t lift it. Somehow he managed to wrangle himself out without waking either of his friends and he waddled to the bathroom to relieve himself.

He could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he stood in the cold tiled room. Why. No seriously, WHY. How in the fresh hell did he manage to fall head over heels not only for ONE of his best friends, but BOTH of them, and to top it off they were both DATING each other. He literally could not have picked a worse scenario.

He could wake up one morning with 'Bad Luck Tuck’ tattooed to his forehead and he still couldn’t possibly feel more unlucky than he did in this instant.

It took all of his willpower not to always end his and Sam’s constant meat vs vegan fights by smooching her on those enticingly smooth cheekbones, and Danny was even WORSE. Every time that asshole so much as SMILED Tucker’s heart would start thumping like it was trying to put him into cardiac arrest, it was just all those freckles and that little chip in his tooth and-

Oh God stooooop. He needed to stop, he needed to stop right the heck now before he became the first human being to pass out from overexposure to adorkableness. Honestly? Fuck his friends for being so cute. This was all their fault, they could at least have considered his feelings before growing up to be so adorably kissable.

He’d tried so hard to deny it to himself, he tried SO hard to fall back out of love with them but after waking up that morning nestled between those two precious asshats he realised that he had lost this battle, and he had lost it HARD.

But, at the very least, living with a superhero as your best friend taught you some pretty useful life skills. One of those skills being how to Lie Like a Motherfucker to Everyone You Care About. So without further ado Tucker washed his hands, took a moment to stare his lovestruck gaze away in the mirror, and went back out to throw a shoe at his best friend’s head for making his arm numb through the night.

He loved his friends, he loved them with everything he had and that was why he could never tell them how he felt.

————

'Oh no.’

Sam was honestly pissed, no scratch that, she was more than pissed. She was FURIOUS. Her rage burned with the intensity of her mother’s artificially whitened teeth, and she couldn’t even take it out on anyone, because the focus of her ire was her own stupid stupid brain.

She had always been equally close to both of her friends, in fact she had only very rarely hung out with one or the other alone, and every time she did it felt just… so uncomfortable. It took a long time to really sort out what that feeling was, but even when she did it made no sense.

It was GUILT, she felt GUILTY. Why did she feel guilty? Danny and Tucker sometimes hung out together without her, and that was fine, she was fine with it, they’d been friends since before she came along, but why couldn’t she do the same?

Every time one of them was over her house without the other it almost felt like she was cheating on someone, and that only got MORE disturbing after she and Danny started dating. Because suddenly? It very well COULD have been cheating.

But it wasn’t. And she kept telling herself it wasn’t. She had never kissed Tucker while she and Danny were dating. They had never even held hands.

But God damn, the realisation that had just struck her was enough to make her want to slap herself for ever becoming such a cliché piece of romance movie tripe.

She had just been sitting there, sipping on her smoothie when Tucker did that Thing. She hated that Thing. That Thing where he’d say something that he knew full well was the vocal equivalent of a tumblr shitpost but he ALSO knew she’d found it fucking hilarious and while she tried her damnedest not to let a smile loose he’d send her a big shit eating grin that made her stomach roll and her tongue feel dry. Yeah, THAT Thing.

She was crushing on Tucker, she was crushing on Tucker so hard. She was head over heels for her best friend, her BOYFRIEND’S best friend. Literally EVERYTHING about this situation was the reason she hated 90% of the movies she ever saw. Love triangles were the worst plague fiction had ever suffered and suddenly she realised it had spread it’s nasty little friendship killing tendrils into her life.

She was determined, however, not to fall into the awful trap that so many would think was inevitable, and she did so by keeping her mouth firmly shut about it. She had the willpower to go face to face against ghosts twice her size, and had been through more than one bout of emotional and mental manipulation by others of the ghostly kind. She was not about to lose this battle with herself and destroy not only her relationship, but also the much more valuable friendship she held with both boys.

Sam got up and gathered everyone’s Nasty Burger food scraps to throw into the bin, taking the brief moment to let her face twist in grief over what she’d have to do. With the rubbish gone and her resolve hardened, she slathered her face in smiles and ease, walking back to the table and acting with the skill and grace of someone who had been lying to protect her best-friend-turned-boyfriend for years. Her true feelings shoved somewhere deep between a pit of self-loathing and the core of her love for the boys she cared more about than anyone on this earth, including herself.

———-

'Oh no.’

Danny was in trouble. Danny was in so so so so SO much trouble.

Honestly? At first he hadn’t even realised he was doing it, Tucker had been his friend for such a long time, it had only seemed natural to invite him out everywhere when he and Sam made plans. But Danny was starting to realise the tension it was causing.

Neither of them said anything but sometimes Danny could pick up on… something. Of course he knew what it was, since he’d started officially dating Sam, Tucker had become somewhat of a third wheel.

Danny had never considered his friend to be out of place or unwanted, but he wasn’t sure Sam felt the same way. Maybe she wanted it just to be the two of them, maybe she just wanted some alone time with her boyfriend. She wouldn’t say anything, Danny figured she didn’t want to seem clingy or harsh but, why else would things suddenly start feeling so… weird?

He tried to make the effort to go on at least a couple dates with Sam without inviting Tucker, but honestly he just couldn’t help but think something was missing, and it really didn’t seem to be helping with Sam’s tension. She tried to hide it, she really did, and it wasn’t as though she was bad at it, Danny just knew her too well. Her and Tucker, he was hiding something too.

And Danny was starting to think he knew what it was. They had NOTICED.

He thought he was doing such a good job keeping his feelings from being too obvious, he was used to acting differently around certain people by now (having an alter ego did that to a guy), but obviously his friends knew him too well.

It might have been the touching, yep, yep it definitely could have been the touching. Danny was an extremely touchy person and his gentle caresses and nuzzles weren’t particularly picky about which friend received them. He definitely remembered a time when he straight up snuggled his face right into Tucker’s neck during what was probably an EXTREMELY un-platonic hug.

Other events on the 'Danny is a two timing doofus’ calendar included:

'Holding hands with both Sam AND Tucker while walking down the street.’

'Very delicately running his fingers over Tucker’s leg one time when he’d thrown them on Danny’s lap and honestly there was absolutely nothing heterosexual about that moment.’

'Every time Tucker laughed so hard he snorted Danny thought his heart would straight up melt into a puddle of goo, and then SAM would start doing that super adorable giggle that she was really self conscious of and her trying not to laugh made her pull this fACE and Tucker would lose his mind and start snorting all over again and-’

Danny had to stop himself right there before his heart completely dissolved because for the love of the Ancients his friends were both way too hecking precious for their own good and he loved them, he loved them sooo much. He loved them both.

And they probably knew it.

And boy that meant he was in deep trouble.

Would Sam break up with him? Would this ruin their friendship? Nobody was SAYING anything but Danny knew that stewing over something like this was just going to lead to an explosion of awkward raging teen angst worthy of a place on an MCR album.

If they weren’t gonna bring it up then Danny would just have to… get it out of the way.

Oh boy, he did not want to do this, nuh uh, no sir, he did not want to be standing in his bedroom shifting uncomfortably before his two beautiful, patient, wonderful friends. He would have loved to be sitting BETWEEN them however he deemed such a position to be quite, how the professionals would say, INA-FUCKING-PROPRIATE considering the subject at hand.

No, standing in front of them was slightly better, only slightly because Danny felt like an absolute nervous piece of half human trash. Maybe he could just jump out the window and throw himself into a dumpster, that would speed things along. He would probably end up there by the end of this conversation anyway.

He decided to just do it, stop beating around the blood blossom bush and just get it DONE. Unfortunately Danny hadn’t practiced what he was going to say beforehand, so when he finally resolved to just blurt it all out he literally did… just that.

“I’VE GOTTA HUGE CRUSH ON TUCKER AND I DUNNO WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT.”

By the time his brain caught up to his words his dumpster diving plan was sounding significantly more appealing. There was probably some kind of banana skin pun he could have used there but he was far too stressed to figure it out.

Tucker didn’t respond, he appeared to be trying to bury his face into his hat. A kind of wheezing noise was coming out of him, Danny couldn’t tell if it was a good sound or a bad sound. Sam let out a long breath that whistled between her lip piercings.

“Holy shit me too.”

The Tucker sound continued, raising to a nearly imperceptible level. Danny was just beginning to think it might have been a Bad sound when Tucker pulled his face back into the world, his glasses were all fogged up but he stopped making the noise.

Sam and Danny both waited for him to say actual words but Tucker.exe seemed to have stopped working. Once he’d gained his breath he was back to wheezing into his hat. Sam hesitantly put a hand on his back.

“Are you actually okay or are you like, dying?”

Muffled words were said into the hat, none of which could be repeated around children. Danny was juuuust about to start attempting to will himself into spontaneous combustion when he recognised a very distinct sound emanating from the hat.

Snorting, Tucker was snorting like a god damn pig. Danny’s shaky legs gave out below him and he sat on the floor, shoving his face into the carpet as he laughed along with his best friend. He didn’t know what was happening right now, but he was Having Emotions and the floor just seemed like the right place for that.

Also he needed to look somewhere that wasn’t Sam. She was trying not to laugh and she was pulling That Face and Danny just couldn’t handle it right now and really the floor was great why didn’t he spend more time here.

Tucker felt as though he was finally ready to leave the comforting world of Hat Land and face the unbeLIEVABLE realisation that all of his dreams had just come true in a ten second span of time, he felt like he had just been blessed by the gods, his skin was clear, his crops were flourishing and world peace had been established. Today was a good day to start ugly sobbing in front of the two most important people in his life.

“I love both you guys too!!” Tucker half laughed, half cried, and then just straight up cried, “I’ve wa-wanted to smooch you both sooo bad for like, MONTHS!”

The moment his snorting turned to sobbing he was immediately accosted by a pair of equally snotty emotional wrecks. Danny, still on the floor, had plopped his head on Tucker’s lap and just started balling his eyes out, like he was really going for gold in 'Most Tears Shed on One Lap’. Sam, on the other hand, had commandeered Tucker’s upper half for a simple bone breaking, teary hug.

The next few hours were just chock full of used tissues, an inappropriate amount of snacks and some deep, heartfelt discussions about what the fuck their relationship was gonna be.

Honestly they were just happy to be so open and at ease with one another again, the sun poured into Danny’s bedroom window as the three of them dozed in the warm pool of light. Laying across one another, their imagined boundaries finally broken, they could finally talk shit about each other for making them feel so mushy.

——

“Oh NO.”

Paulina said out loud at the scene before her. Those three dorks were sitting together at their usual lunch table, all bunched up ridiculously close together and if she wasn’t mistaken she had just seen Danny turn around and KISS TUCKER ON THE MOUTH while Sam, his GIRLFRIEND, just watched?!

“Oh yes.” Star deadpanned, not seeming too fazed by the weirdness happening before her.

“I didn’t think those three could get any more confusing, but I have no idea what’s happening over there right now.” Paulina sat back in her chair, arms crossed.

“Really?” Star raised an eyebrow. “You seriously didn’t see this coming? Those three,” she pointed with a delicately painted pink nail, “have been perfect polygamy material for like, three years.”

“Perfect what material?” Paulina’s face was all scrunched up in confusion, her little nose wrinkled up and her lips pursed in just the cutest little pout-

Star’s stomach fluttered alarmingly.

'Oh no.’

When I watch these movies and I compare them to what happened in ca cw I am like …the main plot of these movies is the love of a child for their mother.

In legend of Tarzan


Tarzan kills the chief’s son because he killed his mother. The son killed kala. The chief and tarzan talk in the end.

Tarzan shouts, “ he killed my mother.” He is not over her death.

The chief said how was he supposed to know. And yes the son  didn’t know.

But tarzan killed him because his mother died in front of him. Kala was a mother to him. In rage, anger and grief he killed the son of the chief.

She was his mother dammit.


Erik lehnsherr in x men first class. He agrees with shaw about mutants. He agrees with shaw’s ideology. But he kills him because of his mother and he says this.

“The thing is you killed my mother.”

Shaw was a villain and  in the end erik became magneto and a villain too but the reason he kills shaw is because he had killed his mother in front of his eyes.

Erik killed lots of people in apocalypse but he is not treated as a villain. I like him too but I am not blind I can admit he was a villain.

Man of steel, Clark beats  zod to ground when he hurts Martha. He literally says “how dare you hurt my mother?”


Batman vs superman


The reason bruce stops is because he hears his mother’s name and when he realises what’s going on he saves clark’s mother.

He did not get over his parents death who were killed in front of him. The incident changed his whole life.


I just can’t understand how  people can be so callous and indifferent to the way Tony reacted. It’s not a post about whether Bucky was innocent or not. Yes he was, he was tortured for seventy years. I love the guy but Tony had the right to properly grieve for his mother, for his parents. He had the right to know the bloody truth the moment those hellicarriers crashed.

Howard Stark in comic beats up Tony. He is a bad father. But that’s not the case in MCU. He is shown to be a cold man. Indifferent to his family and son. There is no indication he beat up Tony.  I am not going to imagine that he beat him up. Tony says it himself in Iron Man 2,

“ he never even hugged me, he never even told me liked me.”

But the man did not beat Tony up. Tony did care for him. It’s shown clearly the way he closes his eyes as the winter soldier smashes howard’s skull.

The tremor that goes through Tony at the time is not of a man who doesn’t care about his father.

The father may have been indifferent and cold to the son. The son wasn’t. He cared for howard.

He said it in BARF session “I love you dad.”

In Iron Man, he says to stane, “I never got to say goodbye to my father.”

Those are not the words of a cold son. He did care for howard. Howard did not beat him up. He was a cold man that’s it. In his own stupid way he did tell Tony he cared for him. You are my greatest creation.

Maria says it in BARF session ,“you know what’s about to happen. If you don’t say something you’ll regret it.

He says, “love you dad.”

It tells clearly he regrets not telling that to his father.

He literally closed his eyes as the winter soldier killed howard.

Now let’s come to Tony’s mother. He loved her. That’s it. I am not going to say anything more.

He cared for his father but he loved his mother. He says it, “I don’t care he killed my mom.”

Why is it so hard to understand Tony’s reaction to bucky and steve.

The winter soldier choked the life out of Maria Stark and Tony saw it.

What exactly was he supposed to do Bucky after seeing something like that? Then he discovered Steve’s blunder and web of lies.

Leave Tony alone, he reacted as anyone would.


You don’t get over something like that. So its rubbish what some people say Tony should have gotten over it.

No. He did not get over it. He developed the tech to deal with it because he did not get over it.

These characters from the movies don’t get shit but Tony does. Why ? His reaction was completely normal. He watched them die damn it. He watched his mother die.

Why is it so hard to understand that.

Dating Harrison Osterfield Would Include.....

Requested. @tanovic54321

  • Dealing with the intense bromance between Harrison and Tom
  • But never really minding because you adore Tom. 
  • Getting a little jealous though.
  • Harrison finding it cute that you become jealous over his best mate.
  • “Jealous, eh? Don’t be, love.” 
  • Him kissing your forehead. 
  • All the time, actually.
  • Oh, and knuckle kisses. 
  • Whenever he holds your hand, it’s just instinctive for him to kiss your fingers.. 
  • Getting into little arguments about who loves who more. 
  • Said arguments always ending in kisses. 
  • Going out to dinner with his family.
  • Them loving the absolute daylights out of you.
  • His sister looking up to you and begging to have a sleepover so you two can stay up all night hanging out. 
  • His parents telling him that you’re a keeper and keep you close. 
  • Harrison always responding with, “Don’t worry, she’s not going anywhere. Not on my watch.” 
  • His mother always inviting you to her nail appointments to bond. 
  • His father learning what memes are and starting a meme war with you. 
  • Loving every minute you spend with Osterfield’s. 
  • Harrison also enjoying every minute he spends with your family.
  • Your parents approving a hundred percent.
  • Finding out that the reason why Harrison cancelled on your scheduled Monday movie night was because he was spending time with your dad.
  • Being mad at first but getting over it when you see them walk through the door laughing.
  • Realizing that this is what the rest of your life will be. 
  • Being terrified whenever Harrison offers to drive.
  • “Please no.” 
  • “What? I’m a fantastic driver, [Y/N].”
  • “Um….when?” 
  • “I can’t believe this, my own girlfriend is scared to be in a car with me being behind the wheel. What rubbish.” 
  • “Tom, please drive.” 
  • Having lazy days filled with all kinds of movies.
  • Cuddling during said lazy days. 
  • Binge watching every kind of television show.
  • Getting irritated when Harrison doesn’t pay attention to the movies or shows.
  • “Haz, pay attention!”
  • “I am, I am.”
  • “No you’re not.” 
  • “You’re awfully cute when you pout, love.” 
  • “I hate you.”
  • “I don’t think you do.” 
  • Going on long walks with Harrison and Monty. 
  • Taking selfie after selfie with Monty. 
  • Harrison getting jealous when you focus all your attention on the puppers. 
  • Kissing him to shut him up. 
  • Walking in the piss pouring rain because you love it.
  • “Bloody Hell, we’re going to get sick.” 
  • “I don’t care.” 
  • Harrison sticking it out because he loves you.
  • Him always having an extra pair of rain boots and rain coats in his car for himself if he’s with you and for you at his place in case it ever decides to rain. 
  • Waking up at the crack of dawn to watch the sunrise.
  • Harrison getting grumpy but loving it when he’s holding you while the sun lights up the world. 
  • Always whispering sweet nothings in your ear at random times.
  • “You’re the one, the only one I want.”
  • “You look absolutely beautiful tonight.” 
  • “I want you alone.”
  • “I love the way you love me.” 
  • “I wish you could see what goes on in my mind when you wear the dress.” 
  • “Should we take this somewhere else?” 
  • “I feel a little…naughty.” 
  • All of them driving you insane. 
  • Harrison being such a damn tease. 
  • But, you also being one too.
  • Begging Harrison for piggyback rides.
  • Eating all the ice cream you possibly can before getting regrettably sick. 
  • Harrison surprising you with movie premiere tickets.
  • “What?! You’re taking me?! Oh my gosh, Haz! I’m so excited, but wait…..you’re always Tom’s date to these things.” 
  • “You sure know how to ruin a moment….”
  • Harrison also surprising you by taking you dress shopping. 
  • Him spoiling you because you’re his queen. 
  • Feeling bad that he’s spent all this money.
  • Harrison reassuring you that he wants to. 
  • Feeling satisfied until next time. 
  • Getting the luxury of going where ever Harrison goes.
  • Buying a map of the world and placing a pin on every place you’ve been to together.
  • Promising to visit at least 75 percent of the world. 
  • Going on camping and hiking adventures.
  • Harrison trying to teach you how to surf. 
  • Failing miserably. 
  • Forcing him to tell you things he shouldn’t be telling you while he’s with Tom during Spiderman. 
  • Threatening to give him the silent treatment otherwise.
  • Harrison always giving in and telling you.
  • But always leaving out the most important details.
  • Punching him when you finally watch the movie and what he didn’t tell you happens.
  • Sneaking flattering and unflattering pictures of him.
  • Them always being on snapchat.
  • Fans knowing your snapchat and saving them for the world to relive over and over again. 
  • Laughing your ass off when Harrison finds them all over twitter.
  • “You’ve got to be kidding me….really? You had to post that one?!” 
  • But, don’t you worry, Harrison always always gets his revenge. 
  • It becomes a war to place the most unflattering snapchat filtered picture on each other’s stories. 
  • In the end, Harrison retreats with the cutest Instagram post on the planet. 
  • It’s the two of you kissing under a waterfall from a trip you took by yourselves for an anniversary/getaway trip.  
  • The caption, “She is my world, my everything. The reason I live, breathe, and walk this earth.” 

meetmyinnerdemons  asked:

Hi, I wanted to ask you if you know any fanfictions about Johnlock texting/letters/internet messages, something connected with that? :)

Hi Lovely!

I thought I didn’t have many of these, so I was so excited that I would be able to get this done in 10 minutes… it’s now 4 hours later and I finally got a rough list done for you and I STILL can’t find the one I wanted to add to this list! I’m so angry, because I THOUGHT it was an FFNet fic, but i can’t find it urg. Oh well. I hope you like what I have picked for you instead!

SEXTING / TEXTING:

  • Unquantifiable by 221b_hound (M, 2799 w, Ao3) - John remains a terrible and foul-tempered patient, but he does try to make up for it with pet names and text message silliness. In the meantime, Sally Donovan visits Baker Street for a hint about the Milverton case, and has to deal with a Sherlock Holmes who can’t find words big enough to thank her for saving John’s life at the warehouse. For afters, there’s a viewing of The Princess Bride. Part 33 of Unkissed
  • Happy anniversary by Salambo06 (E, 3772 w., Ao3) - John inhaled deeply, feeling his cock pulse under the silk gown, and he let his eyes travel on the lean body in front of him. Sherlock was kneeling on the bed, their bed, and the picture had been taken so John could perfectly see his bare chest and pelvis. But what mattered most, what made John harden rather quickly, was the pair of panties Sherlock was wearing in the picture. Black, string over each hip and laces that outlined Sherlock’s erect cock barely hidden under the soft underwear.
  • A Brand of Gold by aquabelacqua (M, 12,757 w. Ao3) - John sank deeper into the pillows, let the mist and blur of the wine settle around him, let it shore up his nerves and dim the warning signals that flashed dully in the back of his mind. He let the rest of the disappointment about Lucy and his strange accommodations and about the weekend as a whole fade into obscurity. He let the vital, missing piece snap into place as surely and as cleanly as if it had always been there. He was flirting with Sherlock Holmes. **MUST READ**
  • Come Home by hudders-and-hiddles(E, 3763, Ao3) -  When John leaves for a medical conference, Sherlock tries to entice him back home.
  • A Study In Auto-Signatures, Sniper Dolphins, and Sex Holidays by cwb  (E, 32,690, Ao3) John and Mary go on their sex holiday, and Sherlock is grumpy and pining about it. Part 1 of HOT DOLPHIN SEX **MUST READ**
  • The Real Meaning of Idioms by feverishsea (T, 21,691 w., Ao3) - After two weeks away, John finally texts Sherlock. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to respond. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to keep texting him. And he really doesn’t expect things to spiral out of control so rapidly.
  • Bread and Wine and Curry Once a Week by cwb (E, 8737 w., Ao3) - "I am not agitated. I’m just tired of it. The insinuations, the comments, that I have no… no interest in relationships, or sex.“ John and Sherlock muddle through a relationship. **FAVE!**
  • Entanglement by orphan_account (G, 3218 w., Ao3)On Christmas Eve, snow covers London, John visits Harry, and Sherlock and Mrs. Hudson untangle some knots. Lovely pining Sherlock fic. Love this one!
  • Definitions by siennna (T, 101,528 w., Ao3)Throughout his life, Sherlock Holmes has always taken facts and held them close like treasures, because in a world of complex emotions, unpredictability, and the unknown, logic has never failed him. Puzzles can always be solved and equations will always have an answer; he seeks and finds comfort in the steady absolution of facts and the knowledge that everything has a definition: an unchanging, consistent meaning. However, at age thirty-five he discovers the exception to all of his neat, tidy logic when he meets John Watson, the one person who evades definition and refuses to be easily categorized—and who makes Sherlock question his own previously unshakeable ideas about everything from life to love. (Apparently a WiP, but it feel complete enough, as the “last chapter” has been waiting for over 2 years)
  • Tease You Till You Come by phoenix089 (E, 6090 w., Ao3) - Initially, Sherlock was rather put out by John’s lack of presence on the case. But then he starts to recieve pictures, several of them, of an unexpected nature. The case is forgotten rather quickly after that.
  • Text Me When It’s Over by immaculately-flawed (K+, 1K+ w., FFnet) - After the fall Sherlock starts writing texts to John. Of course, he never sends them… Until he does by accident. Post Reichenbach fic but not angsty.
  • Texts and Tea by JillianWatson1058 (K, 959 w., ffnet) - A John who is woken up at 2:30 in the morning is not a happy John. Sherlock, frankly, doesn’t care. He just wants his tea.
  • Message Not Sent by Queerasil (K, 762 w. ffnet) - Sherlock texts John after the fall and during the hiatus. The messages are sent, but never received. Sequel to WORDLOCKED, TSTM, and Wait, How Do You Play This Game Again?
  • Iunctum by Fudgyokra (K, 221 w., FFNet) - He stood still for a long time, staring not so much at the words he’d been sent, but at the signature that marked them: A simple ‘SH,’ neatly tucked at the close of the words ‘I’ve missed you.’” A 221B ficlet; Sherlock’s return from the fall.
  • The Art Of Communication by StillWaters1 (T, 2K+ w., FFNet) - Lestrade was used to getting odd, non sequitur texts from Sherlock. But when “John went out for milk” was followed by a terse “two hours ago,” Lestrade immediately understood three things: John was missing, Sherlock was quietly panicking, and this could all end very, very badly.

LETTERS / EPISTOLARY

  • Letters by Jenna Flare (T, 2K+ w., FFNet) - John leaves letters on Sherlock’s grave as a method of coping. Sherlock reads them every week. Sherlock/John, John/Mary. T for swearing. Post-Reichenbach
  • Letters From Beyond by LittleBabeBlue (K, 637 w., FFNet) - A letter for John was found in Sherlock’s coat after he jumped. Post-Reichenbach.
  • Dear John by starwarsfreak95 (T, 601 w. FFNet) - Not all Dear John letters are bad. Sherlock tries to explain to John why he did what he did and how much John means to him.
  • Pen Pals by WerewolfDoctor (K, 2K w., FFNet) - Most people don’t become pen pals by one of them writing a not-suicide note. Then again, Sherlock Holmes and John Watson have never exactly been normal, have they?
  • In the Dark Hours by hubblegleeflower (E, 51,639 w., Ao3) - John, wounded and silent, drifts back to Baker Street for healing…and then goes home again. He visits, gets more upbeat, chattier, smiles, jokes… and still goes home again. Sherlock wants him to move back in - it just makes sense - but John shows no signs of doing so. This is the story of how John and Sherlock learn to say what needs to be said when they’re both so very, very rubbish at talking.
  • There’s Something Living in These Lines by teahigh (orphan_account) - (M, 4676 w., Ao3) - Two men, complete opposites in almost every way, who speak only in letters and pages torn from books.
  • Correspondence by Cleo2010 (T, 8031 w., Ao3) – Sherlock’s been spirited away on a case for Mycroft. Part of the deal was that he and John could communicate via letter until the case was completed. Maybe the cliche is true, absence does make the heart grow fonder. Or perhaps something is growing on the feet in the fridge. Read their letters month by month. Written after series one.
  • White Blank Page by SarahCat1717 (M, 11,936 w., Ao3) – Post-fall, Sherlock is off eliminating Moriarty’s crime web. He finds he misses John. He can’t divulge that he still lives, but he placates his need to communicate with John and still feel a connection with him by sending him blank letters. But over time, this writing exercise lends itself to Sherlock exploring his feelings for his friend. What will happen when Sherlock returns to London and the man he has been “writing” to regularly for the past two years? NOT S3 compliant. Mary who?
  • Get It All in Writing by aceofhearts61 (T, 2423 w., Ao3) – Sherlock and John write each other love notes. Part 8 of A Love with No Name
  • and stand there at the edge of my affection by coloredink (G, 2683 w., Ao3)
  • Winter of Life by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 5178 w., Ao3) – It was an experiment, really. On Christmas, Sherlock wrote to Santa asking for a friend. He got a broken toy soldier instead. This is the story of how he finds him again and again.
  • Dear John by wendymarlowe (E, 3 Parts, 30,802 w. Ao3) – With Sherlock dead, John eventually (under duress) makes a profile on an online dating site. And falls into a long-distance relationship with an enigmatic partner who reminds him of Sherlock in all the right ways. (Hint: it turns out to be Sherlock.)

BLOGS / SCRAPBOOKS / JOURNALS

  • The Case of the Vanishing Blog by Hekateras (K+, 2K+ w., FFNet) - Sherlock is in it for the hunt. John is in it for the action. Even so, the events at the Pool leave a mark on both, unwilling as they are to admit it.
  • One-Way Mirror by StormyNight108 (K+, 830 w. FFNet) - Post-Reichenbach one-shot. It’s been months since the incident, where a man lost his best friend. Slowly but surely, John’s life is starting to turn up a little. That night, his blog is updated to share good news to his followers, and one anonymous commentator is quick to share his happiness. It’s about as close to his friend as he can get right now.
  • Don’t Go Without Me by MirabileLectu (T, 1K+ w. FFNet) - Deep in the recesses of the cluttered space under John’s bed, far from the prying eyes of nosy landladies, there is a box.
  • To Sleep, Perchance to Smother Your Flatmate with a Pillow by Linpatootie (G, 5308 w., Ao3) - Sherlock wants to conduct a sleep study of sorts. John contemplates smothering him with a pillow. Part 1 of Two Coffees One Black One with Sugar Please
  • Journal of Truths by Goddess_of_the_Night (T, 2317 w., Ao3) - When John escorts Sherlock back to Baker Street from the tarmac, he discovers a journal that Sherlock has kept secret…that he has kept secrets in. What he sees when he opens it is nothing like what he expected. He expected scrawling notes of observations, or maths equations, or drawings of plants…anything but what he actually finds: confessions.
  • You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w., Ao3) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock’s study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn’t entirely mind.
  • Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by cypress_tree (E, 10,669 w., Ao3) – John helps Sherlock with an experiment: for an entire month, they are not allowed to touch each other and must remain at least one metre apart at all times.
  • The Great Sex Olympics of 221B by XistentialAngst (E, 58,611 w., Ao3) – John Watson thinks Sherlock Holmes should admit that he, Watson, is more of an expert on sex than Sherlock is. But Sherlock refuses to concede the point. He comes up with an experiment plan that will resolve the issue. The results will determine who wins the prize. But sometimes even the best thought-out scientific study has unexpected consequences.

POST-ITS / LISTS

  • I Believe In Sherlock Holmes by Cennis (K, 2+K w., FFNet)When John came to Baker Street one Sunday about six months after the funeral and found an elegant wooden cane, expensive-looking yet sturdy, stuffed away in the shoe cupboard, he began ‘blogging’ again. It began with post-it notes. POST-FALL.
  • In case of emergency by AlessNox (K, 520 w., FFNet) - Sherlock is charged with making a list of what supplies they would need in case of an emergency.
  • The Three-Word Tin Collection by TheBookshelfDweller (K, 1K+ w., FFNet) - What happens when Sherlock has to store the things he wants to say to John while deconstructing Moriarty’s web, but the Mind palace proves an inadequate place to store them?
  • 206 Reasons by whitchry9 (K+, 1K+, FFNet) - John won’t wake up, so Sherlock lists all the reasons why he should. Because he appears to be a bit besotted. How inconvenient.
  • Because Blah Blah Blah Happy by cwb (E, 4,578 w., Ao3) – John is entirely done with the milk situation and gives Sherlock a list of shit he’s pissed about. Sherlock sets out to make John happy. John is happy. Sherlock makes his own list. They are both very, very happy.
  • The Trouble With Being Subtle. by VictoryCandescence (NR, 5429 w., Ao3) - In which Sherlock experiments, John misinterprets, and everyone else stands back and waits for the light to turn on.
  • The Importance of Torn Papers by MyLittleCornerOfSherlock (G, 2427 w., Ao3) – Little things make a big difference, even little notes of thanks. Small reminders to show he cares.
  • Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w., Ao3) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s ‘Heart of Darkness’, and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts’ now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.
  • See Recipe for Details by pandoras_chaos (E, 4,981, Ao3) – John knows Sherlock’s mouth will never water over the sweet smells of baking chocolate biscuits or a lovely roast chicken, but he’s watched Sherlock nick mince pies out of Mrs. Hudson’s fridge often enough to deduce that the man does have taste, albeit confusing and obscure.
    So John makes a list: Things Sherlock Likes

And I have a few on my Marked For Later List which also have this theme. I HAVE NOT READ THEM, so I don’t know what they are like; I was waiting for them to finish before I do. As well, Alexx has a tonne of lists you can check out too!