After my time with Roman
on Wednesday I had a hard time focusing on anything other than him. His life
was normal to most people. He had two parents that loved him, siblings who
spoiled him but that wasn’t enough after some point. Roman refused to tell me
why he started to do what he did, he got angry after I tried to push him. Even
though he had threatened me yet again, I still wanted to talk to him, just to
listen to his voice. I knew he would be angry with my absence but I needed a
little time away to get my mind together and back on track. I also wanted to do
some digging into his past.
“Well, well. Look who
remembered they had a job to do.” Roman’s voice boomed through the small
office. He kissed her cheek after settling down onto the sofa beside me. “Thought
I had scared you away.”
“Would you care if you
“Where were you? Why didn’t
you come back?” he asked staring at the ceiling.
“You have separation
anxiety, Roman. You can’t bear the thought of someone walking out of a door and
never coming back,” I explained softly. “What do you think?”
“I think that I don’t like
when you leave. When you didn’t come
I had an urge that I haven’t had in a long, long while. Even right now as we
speak, I’m having them.”
He opened and closed his
hands into tight fist, squeezing hard enough that his veins were becoming more
and more prominent. Taking a chance, I slipped onto the floor in front of him
putting my hands on top of his fists.
“Talk to me, Roman. What
are you thinking? Tell me what’s going inside that head.”
Sighing, he closed his
eyes taking slow, deep breaths. “I can’t tell you. If I tell you then you won’t
come back again. I couldn’t take that, Ana.”
“I’m not going anywhere,
Ro. I promise. Please, tell me.”
“I want to tie you up so
you can’t leave me. Yesterday I was angry, really angry at you. I wanted to
snap your neck and watch the life leave your eyes,” he explained in a low tone.
“I could see it in my head. Vividly. But afterwards I hated myself for even
having those thoughts.”
“There, you’ve said it
and I’m still here. It’s okay to have those thoughts and be honest about them,
Roman. Its why I’m here, I’m here to help you.” Getting up from my spot on the
floor, I rushed over to my purse in search of my scarf. I pulled him up from
his seat and handed it to him with a small smile. “Here. I want you to show me
what you were thinking, Roman.”
He looked from the scarf
to my face. “What? You want me to tie you up?”
“Yes. Now come on.” I told
“Ana, I can’t do that. Let’s
“So you’ve killed all
these women, thought about snapping my neck but punk out when I give you the
opportunity to do what you want? That’s not the Roman Reigns I’ve heard about. Such
a disappointment you are.”
“Don’t.,” he barked
sternly. “Don’t antagonize me, Anamaris. You don’t want to do that.”
“Why not? Does it make
you angry? I’m only telling the truth,” I sassed folding my arms across my
chest. “Hmm, maybe the guard was right you do have trouble rising to the occasion.
You just got lucky Wednesday.”
“I’m warning you, Ana. I don’t
want to hurt you. Please don’t make me hurt you.”
I threw my head back
laughing, only trying to antagonize him to get him where I wanted him. Roman
was undoubtedly putting fear in me but he needed this. “You couldn’t hurt a
fly, you’re not fooling anyone. I don’t even know why I’m wasting my time.”
A growl escaped his lips
as he leapt up from his seat, clutching my arms in both his hands. I squealed
as he pushed me until my back hit the wall. With one hand, he pinned my hands
to the wall above me and snatched the scarf with the other.
“This is what you wanted,
right? You want me to be the beast you know lives inside of me. Right?” There
was nothing I could say, he had my complete attention. I had pushed him far
enough, there was no need to continue to poke at him. “Nothing to say now?”
“What do want me to say,
“You think I’m a disappointment?
You think I can’t rise and that I’m not the monster everyone thinks I am?” he
growled. Our faces were close together, nose to nose. There was nowhere for me
to go, even if I wanted to.
“Show me, Roman. I’m
giving you the opportunity to do what you want, I’m giving you control,” I told
him softly, “But you won’t do it. Why won’t you?”
“I will hurt you beyond
belief and you’re still pushing me. Stop, please,” he plead sincerely, “I don’t
want to hurt anyone else I care about. Please don’t make me.”
“Who did you hurt, Roman?”
“It’s not important. Can’t
we just talk like we’re supposed to” he asked still gripping my wrists.
“We are talking. Tell me
who you hurt.”
Sighing softly, he
released my wrists bringing both hands to my waist and put his forehead against
“I loved her, I thought
she loved me. But she left me because she said I was suffocating her,” he
huffed as if he was recalling the memory in his head. “She was my high school
sweetheart, she followed me to college without me even asking yet I suffocated
“Maybe she wasn’t ready
to be what you wanted her to be, Roman. You can’t make someone stay who doesn’t
want to. You understand that, right?”
Roman moved away from me,
going back to the sofa, reclaiming his seat. After getting myself together, I went
to him kneeling in fornt of him as I had earlier.
“Everyone tried to blame
what I had done on my childhood and my parents.”
“Roman, I never saw
anything about you killing a girlfriend. You didn’t even do anything to your
Staring down into my
eyes, Roman sighed softly and ran his hand over his head. There was a look of
pain in his eyes as the glossed over. “You remember when you asked if there
were more women that I had killed?” I nodded, feeling a sinking feeling in my
stomach as to whre this was going. “Her.Valentina, that’s who they’re missing.”
“Valentina was the first
woman you killed,” I asked with a brow raised. “Why?”
“She left for two weeks
during our first semester after we had a fight. I would’ve followed her but I had
football and I couldn’t screw that up, my parents would have killed me.” I shot
him a look after his choice of words, he gave me a small apologetic smile. “Umm,
when she came back to my apartment, she was acting different so I confronted
her. I wanted to know where she had been, why I hadn’t heard from her and
everything. She told me again that iwas suffocating her, that I was too passive
and too clingy. Can you believe that,” he scoffed lacing our fingers together. “She kept poking me in the chest and mushing
my forehead telling me I wasn’t man enough, that I was a disappointment, that I
couldn’t do the things this other guy could do. She told me that I couldn’t take
control if she let me, she called me a bitch.”
“If she felt that way
then you should have let her leave, Roman. You didn’t need her.”
“I was gonna but she
followed me through the apartment pushing me and my buttons. I told her to stop
but she just laughed, keeping it up. Eventually, I got fed up and I pushed her
down. It was a reflex to the constant pushing and hitting. I felt like shit so I
helped her up and you would think that stopped the shit she was saying.” Roman
shook his head and laughed bitterly. The flashes of anger on his face were
evident and so was his grip on my hands. I wanted to pull away but I didn’t want
to set him off. “She kept talking shit to me, insulting my manhood, got in my
face again then tried to leave. I snapped. The next thing I knew, she was
writhing up under me gasping for air. Her eyes were pleading with me but I wasn’t
letting up. I couldn’t let her leave, she had poked and prodded at something I didn’t
know was inside me.”
“You’re hurting me,” I whispered
looking in his eyes. Slowly, he eased the grip he had on my hands. “Where is
she, Roman? No one ever connected the two of you. She was in college, her
parents or someone had to have noticed she was gone.”
“I honestly don’t know
where she is. There was this guy, friend of the family, he was into some bad
stuff. He didn’t want me to ruin my life so he took care of everything,” Roman
said honestly. “All I know is, no one ever asked me anything about her and he
told me to never mention it to anyone, to act like it hadn’t happened.”
“You started back killing
after you had been out of college for three years. Why?’
Okay so I'm sure this has already been talked about but like I was lying awake last night thinking about The Mixtape™ and I shot up on bed when I realized that Led Zeppelin is always referencing LOTR and literally the parallel between Dean and Cas from the mixtape scene and another pair of lovers is Arwen and Aragorn from LOTR and I just....ahhhhhhhhh???????
I kinda want to link you stuff, but I also kinda feel like literally every long meta post in my tag about this gets to that point eventually… :D
Sorry, I’m going to be lazy, and just tag this post :P
I love when there’s stuff in canon which is SO ridiculous people are realising it and talking about it months or years later, like, omg do you REALISE what this MEANS?
Happy hollerdays, everyone! Here’s what I’ve been working on off and on recently - something that initially started out as just one character idea and has been quickly spiralling out into a full-fledged story. Check captions for details!
Obviously the bulk of these are works in progress, but I may finish them at…..some point. These are a closedspecies and part of a personal project - please refrain from trying to make your own.
Nick, I'm reading in the chono view and I think you've forgot to tag "livebloging the reservoir chronicle" in this post "completeoveranalysis tumblr com/post/167816587009/4-i-am-so-upset" That's not like you, maybe something is stressing you? I've no idea what it could be. It's a mystery.
Aha! Thank you!!
I don’t always reply to these messages publicly but I’m going to use this as a quick group Thank You to everyone who finds mistakes in my tags. It’s EXTREMELY helpful when you guys point them out, and that way I can go fix them as soon as I can. You are all very wonderful!
What if Amon, and Donato actually reconcile, as father, and son ? They tag team, while fighting Dragon?
Well, Amon does have to reconcile the good in Donato with the bad, so anything is possible. That being said… I don’t think it’s likely. Donato did traumatize Amon by forcing him to help butcher other children.
Yet Donato is still the person Amon most needs to face in order to grow. Donato’s specialty is in unnerving people and stripping apart the lies they tell themselves (case in point: Urie). I do think there miiiight be a moment of tenderness at the end (but also maybe not), but I also don’t think their main confrontation will end in reconciliation but will rather end in Amon realizing the parts of himself that he’s been running from: namely, that the thing he condemns Donato for is exactly what he became by working for the CCG.
He’s a child killer.
He participated in Mado’s sadistic plot to kill Hinami, a traumatized girl, just because she was a ghoul. He used her mother’s severed limb to trap and terrify her. He probably killed other ghoul children too.
Amon even in the last chapter is bloviating about how working for the CCG is really all about protecting the peace. When he reconciled with Akira in 121 he was also idolizing his CCG days. He sees his life with Donato as bad and his life with the CCG as righteous (even now) while ignoring his personal responsibility in the latter.
You’re a ghoul, Amon, and you’re a child-murdering one too.
Amon isn’t going to grow until he realizes that. That’s what I think his confrontation with Donato needs to result in: this realization.
“What have you discovered this week?” Stark got right to the point once we were in his car. I tried to focus on the conversation, but I’d never been in a limo before. I wanted to push all the buttons, and stand up and hang out the sunroof, and sample from every decanter. I probably shouldn’t have had the second beer. It was just enough to make it difficult for me to pay attention.
“Same-same as when we last spoke. I haven’t heard from Phil, so I don’t know what headway he’s made with the thumb drive. I handed the notebook over to Fury. Fury is convinced there is going to be an attempt on my life. At least, that’s how it felt when he decided to have a meeting with me at three in the morning,” I rambled.
“So no headway?” He asked. I shook my head.
“To be fair, Tony, I do have another full-time job. And there was a shitload of positions that were posted a few weeks ago, and they needed to be closed and filled,” I complained, “and when you couple that with training, and worrying, I just haven’t had time for sleuthing.”
“You miss him,” he observed.
“Well, here’s what my snooping around dug up,” he offered with a pause, “absolutely nothing.”
“So why are you here?” I asked. The limo drove past my apartment and continued down the street. Stark didn’t trust that my place wasn’t bugged.
“Absolutely nothing, Anna. Not a single thing was out of place in any of the files I nosed around in. Nothing was amiss. In an organization like SHIELD, dedicated to ensuring the safety of a planet, and every i was dotted, every t crossed. You don’t find that suspicious?” He asked. It dawned on me what he was saying.
“Not so much as a band-aid miscounted in inventory,” he nodded.
By aspecs you mean aces and aros? They're only LGBT if they're oppressed under homophobia and/or transphobia (aka if they're LGB or trans as well as ace and/or aro) bc that's what the community was created for. You could try posting some legitimate arguments for a change instead of just cat pictures and consequently spamming the tag but whatever you do you. Saying a statement and refusing to back it up with legit points or proof doesn't make it true, etc.
i’m gonna get straight to the point on this post, i need money. i hate asking for handouts, but i cant even start searching for a job for another month, and even then it’ll be close to impossible to find one. im physically+mentally ill and im 500 dollars in debt to my abusive parents. ill need to pay it back before next year when i move out but ontop of it i need to feed myself on a daily basis. if i keep starving ill have to ask them for money again and the amount i owe them is already too much for me to handle. i need to get out of this situation next year, and i cant have any debts to them by then. if you’ve got money to spare, itll help me tons. thank you.
paypal email : email@example.com
paypal.me : paypal.me/dandelionsaya
please message me or send an ask after you’ve donated so i can thank you properly. i can do art pieces as thank yous. thanks for reading to the end.
So far what are some of your fav tags people make on your posts? Like the best and worse/cringey ones
i like tags complimenting my gfx haha especially when people point out little details i put in there! it’s exciting when people actually pay attention to your gfx aasksmkdmskds also it catches my eye when someone suddenly refers to me by my name in their tags. and obviously the funny ones are nice