cs au. ‘there’s something about breaking an engagement and leaving the man you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with and finding yourself roommate-ing with the man who’s loved you through years and boyfriends and breakups and uncertainties that makes a person a little weepy, a little off balance, a little unsure.’
(i’ve been working on this for at least six weeks, and it’s finally, finally finished, and i’m something like pleased with it. (thanks to swallowedsong for looking over it and helping me and stuff.) so, enjoy whatever this is. (really long, among other things. just a head’s up.)
recommended listening: majesty snowbird by sufjan stevens.)
don’t stop, don’t break
you can delight because you have a place
I need you now
She leaves him on a Tuesday.
Packs up her share of the apartment instead of going to work, keeps Henry home from school so he can help. Wraps picture frames in scarves and sweaters, shoves books and DVDs into boxes, throws pots and pans and casserole dishes into the back seat. One trip to unload these small bits, another for Henry’s bed and dresser and nightstand.
It takes just over 6 hours to remove every trace of them from this apartment that was supposed to be theirs and is now just his, but she doesn’t cry as she sweeps through one last time. As she takes her key off the chain, locking the door behind her and slipping it underneath. She doesn’t feel broken or empty. Isn’t sure what it is pulsing through her, something that tastes like regret or maybe failure.
“Sorry, kid,” she says, eyes still dry, once they reach the car. He just shrugs. Smiles a small, sad thing.
But maybe it will be.