what is german

ranking fruit names (german)

selected fruits (bc they have the more german-german names, u know, not a… basically generic name like kiwi etc):
Apfel, Birne, Pfirsich, Banane, Erdbeere, Johannisbeere, Pflaume, Dattel, Himbeere, Ananas, Trauben, Limette, Zitrone, Orange/Apfelsine

i rank the name not the taste! 

Apfel (apple): very basic name, not at all fancy but the “pf” is a nice touch. i give it…. a 3.8/10

Birne (pear): a good name! used in various phrases as well, eg: “sich die Birne anschlagen” (to hit ya head), “Glühbirne” (lightbulb), i give it 5.9/10, a good name for a pear shaped fruit

Pfirsich (peach): Pfirsich, or as the southern would call it: Pfirschig. quite tricky with the “s” and the “ch”, gives the whole name an air of fanciness. 7.5/10

Banane (banana): BORING! 1/10

Erdbeere (strawberry): an earth berry? no thankx, eat ya own dirt, 1.2/10

Johannisbeere (currant): whomst is this Johannis and how do i meet him? 6/10

Pflaume (plum): the most wholesome name!!!!! tbh!!!! Pflaume sound so round. so juicy. 10/10. famous namebearers: Kai Pflaume

Dattel (date): i do not like the name of this fruit :/ Dattel…. not a good name. not a good name. at most a 2/10

Himbeere (raspberry): who is HE, who is HIM? anti feminist icon Himbeere 0/10

Ananas (pineapple): a nice name. has produced this 1 iconic joke: 
Was wird aus Anna im Regen? (What becometh of Anna in the Raineth?)
–> Ananas aka Anna nass (Anna wet)
iconic, 10/10

Trauben (grapes): 1 grape is not 1 Traube. 1 grape is 1 Weinbeere. 1 Traube is 1 whole buncha grapes. but the word Trauben? i like it, 7.7/10

Limette (lime): a good fucking name! fancy! i give Limette a wholesome 10/10 and on the fancy scala a 6/10

Zitrone (lemon): those yellow fuckers. theyre like bananas but evil. the name is nice tho, i really enjoy the “Z” because it makes it fancy. a wholesome 8/10

Orange/Apfelsine (orange): technically, a basic name. Orange. but Apfelsine? which basically (is dutch i think????? dont quote) means Apfel aus China (apple from china) and that gives the thing a whole other dimension tbh, 7.9/10

hey i wanna talk about erik klose

  • “i feel like he could hold me up forever” erik isn’t just emotional support he’s a soccer player and he is s t r o n g
    • he got them Midfielder Thighs™
  • he fuckin loves soccer movies ok 
    • nicky, already grinning, in response to erik’s parents asking how his day was: alles ist gut
    • erik, sliding into the room in his socks and running into a wall: soLANGE DU WILD BIST!!!!!
    • used Bend It Like Beckham and She’s The Man to practice his english
    • he definitely has a poster of jess bhamra in his room, she’s his hero
  • he is SUPER tall
    • (he’s actually taller than matt when his hair isn’t spiked)
  • him and nicky are low key competitive as fuck and they run together when nicky starts training for exy
  • nicky quickly learns that trying to outlast a midfielder on a run just. doesn’t work. they do the most running on the team and typically go whole games without getting subbed out.
    • 3 miles in nicky is wheezing and dying and erik is laughing like the absolute traitor he is
  • but!! it wasn’t all sunshine at first i mean come on,, this is the foxes
    • when nicky first got to the Klose’s he was reserved, quiet. 
    • erik was taking a year off to travel with friends during the first 6 months nicky was there
    • when both parents agreed nicky could stay for the summer for some extra classes so he could graduate on time (by american standards), he finally met erik
    • tall, athletic, kind erik, erik who came home with all kinds of candy from all kinds of countries to give to a boy he never met all to make a pun about what a “sweet deal” it was to have someone new in the house, he felt his heart race when nicky smiled at him for his ridiculous efforts
    • that’s the first time the klose’s saw a real smile come from nicky
  • erik convinced nicky to go to church after a while
    • it was hard at first, especially when nicky noticed erik was getting some weird looks from some of the older people in the congregation
    • when nicky asked why, erik told him about how when he came out his grandmother stopped speaking to him, and how some parents didn’t want to let erik come over to see his friends
    • but then erik told him how his parents told anyone who wasn’t okay with their son that they weren’t worth having around, that they loved erik and they wouldn’t allow anyone to try and make him feel bad for being himself
    • and how his cousins snuck out and took him to his first pride parade in hamburg
    • surrounded by people who actually care, nicky started to hope again
  • nicky starts to smile more and erik…he’s so smitten. his new mission in life is to make nicky smile
  • erik’s humor is usually really awful puns and dad jokes, but he also is really good at keeping a straight face while saying absolutely ridiculous things, leading people to question whether he’s really serious or not and nicky fighting super hard not to bust out laughing (because he’s the only one who can tell he’s joking)
  • nicky prides himself on being pretty fashionable so he’s not entirely sure how the hell he lets erik get away with wearing those awful toe shoes. the. the individual toe ones.
    • you know the ones
  • the first time they kiss, erik was climbing a tree and fell out, because all his grace stops the minute he steps off the field
    • it was a forehead kiss because, well, erik’s face was bleeding, but yea
    • they’re a bit of a mess, but they’re cute, ya know?
  • nicky and erik are the type of couple to go to the grocery store at 2am because they really want to make mac n cheese and accidentally end up buying 4 pounds of candy instead while serenading each other to the weird 90s music the store is playing
  • erik loves aldi’s and wants to live there. everything is so cheap, nicky. they have my favorite cheese, nicky. nicky. where are you going. nicky i live here don’t leave we haven’t bought any bread yet-
  • he owns crocs. he just. he does. he bought orange ones when nicky joined the foxes and fuckin little white fox paw insert thingies because he’s a supportive boyfriend, dammit
  • he draws smiley faces on everything. notes to nicky, his notes at school, on his meeting notes at work, and his favorite place: on nicky. 
  • he’s one of those people who can’t tan for shit, he just burns then freckles. nicky is constantly nagging him to wear sunscreen. he always forgets and sends nicky pictures of his bright red shoulders only to get pages of texts ranting about sunscreen and melanoma
  • he’s got scars everywhere but theyre all from like. the dumbest stuff. there’s a big one on his knee from sneezing while on a run and subsequently tripping on the sidewalk and wiping out. several are from falling out of trees. he broke his nose falling out of the shower because he freaked out when he saw a spider. again, all his grace is on the soccer field. everywhere else he’s a hazard.
  • he’s really, really clumsy. he loves fiercely because that’s how his parents taught him. he knows he’s lucky to have a family that stuck by him, he knows it’s the least they can do, but so many gay kids have shitty parents. kids like nicky. and erik may be gangly and clumsy. he may be competitive and he may not always understand how nicky feels because he hasn’t experienced what nicky has. but he has fallen out of more trees than anybody he knows, and falling in love with nicky is an ache he’s never been able to ice away, and would never want to anyway.

Roderich: Your brother is rather intimidating isn’t he? What does he do? Professional fighting? 

Ludwig: He is a flutist.

Roderich:… excuse me?

Ludwig: He plays the flute. Professionally. He is very gifted. 

Roderich: Hmm.   

please take a moment to imagine the Federation version of Eurovision as @swordfern and I have envisioned it, in a post-DS9 peaceful future:
-Bajor does something very soothing with hand percussion and like…. background eurythmy dancing but the lyrics are utterly heart-wrenching.
-Betazed is always a fan favorite- they really get into the pop ballads and impressive choreography, and of course aim to inspire ~feelings~
-Romulans do the super intimidating acts like that one song about Moscow Germany did one year.
-Klingons just do fucking opera every time, with intense choreography, generally involving weaponry.
-Andorians do… whatever the andorian version of death metal is. imagine andorian headbanging. with those antennae. imagine.
-the new Cardassian Republic, when it finally gains admittance, is intensely earnest and a bit disco. No one really knows how to react to this.
-Vulcan sends one person with a Vulcan lute and they play an extremely logical arrangement extremely well, with no dancers or any illogical frippery… and they repeat this each year. No one ever votes for Vulcan.

German Travel Vocabulary

Nomen/nouns (plurals in brackets):

das Gepäck - baggage
der Koffer (die Koffer) - suitcase
die Handtasche (die Handtaschen) - handbag
der Rucksack (die Rucksäcke) - backpack
die Gepäckrückgabe(n) - baggage claim

der (Reise)Pass (die (Reise)Pässe) - passport
das Visum (die Visa) - visa
die Identitätskarte(n) (ID)/ der Personalausweis (die Personalausweise)- ID card
die Reiseunterlagen - travel documents

das Flugzeug (die Flugzeuge) - airplane
der Flughafen (die Flughäfen) - airport
der Flug (die Flüge) - flight
das Gate (die Gates) - gate
die Ankunftshalle(n) - arivalls hall
die Ankunft (die Ankünfte) - arrival
der Abflug (die Abflüge) - departure
der Ticketschalter (die Ticketschalter) - ticket desk

der Zug (die Züge) - train
der Bahnhof (die Bahnhöfe) - train station
der Hauptbahnhof (die Hauptbahnhöfe) - main train station
der Bahnsteig (die Bahnsteige) - platform
die Fahrkarte(n)- (railroad) ticket
der Ticketschalter (die Ticketschalter) - ticket counter

die Fähre (die Fähren) - ferry
das Boot (die Boote) - boat
der Hafen (die Häfen) - port
die Kreuzfahrt (die Kreuzfahrten) - cruise

das Hotel (die Hotels) - hotel
die Herberge (die Herbergen) - hostel
die Übernachtung (die Übernachtungen) - overnight stay
die Buchung(en)- booking
die Umbuchung(en) - transfer
die Reservation(en) - reservation


reisen - to travel
ins Ausland gehen - to go abroad
Geld wechseln - to exchange currency

fliegen - to fly
verzollen - to pay duty on

den Zug nehmen - to take the train
den Zug verpassen - to miss the train
den Zug wechseln/umsteigen - to transfer to another train
ankommen - to arrive
abfahren - to depart

fahren - to drive
warten - to wait

übernachten - to stay overnight
buchen - to book
reservieren - to place a reservation
erkunden - to discover

sich verlaufen - to get lost


verspätet - delayed
gestrichen - cancelled
verzollbar - customable

gebucht - booked
reserviert - reserved

Hilfreiche Sätze/useful sentences:

“Wo ist/liegt …?” - “Where’s …?”

“Ich habe meinen Pass verloren.” - “I’ve lost my passport”

“Auf welchem Bahnsteig fährt dieser Zug (ab)?” - “On which platform does this train depart?”

“Nichts zu verzollen” - “Nothing to declare”

“Wie viel kostet eine Fahrkarte?” - “How much does a ticket cost?”

“Wo kann ich eine Fahrkarte kaufen?” - “Where can I buy a ticket?”

“Wann kommt das nächste Boot?” - “When will the next boat arrive?”

(Ay, this is my first vocab sheet, and I’d love to get some recommendations on what to do better. However, I hope you enjoy it and have a nice day!)

(Also Germany voted yes on same-sex marriage, it was finally time and I am so happy!🇩🇪)

You ever think about the fact that the entire “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you” conversation took place in German with Kevin sitting right next to them? What even does that sound like in German? What did Kevin even think they were saying?

Some German names are weird like the name Hermann which sounds like you say Mister Man when it’s translated into English and if you’re English it literally looks like someone misspelled ‘Her Man’ but it gets even weirder because it’s a really common name and it can be used as a first and a sure name that means if your teachers last name is Hermann you have to call him Mister Mister Man