what is condom

anonymous asked:

you mentioned the mama video being sketchy in one of your tags, why? would you mind sharing your thoughts? it's perfectly fine if you prefer not to though!!

Well, it’s another one of those videos that I watch religiously so..

Just a disclaimer, everything I personally find sketchy is things I see at face value and things that everyone sees so it probably not that interesting. I don’t really squint at the background and be like “OMG THERE’S A WRAPPER. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. CONDOM.”, because that just takes so much effort and idk how some of you guys do it XD

Anyways, I just keep watching this because it’s cute it just makes me think things lol. First of all, JIMIN AND JUNGKOOK ARE ACTUALLY IN A HOTEL ROOM TOGETHER *gasp* irrefutable evidence this time, js. And it’s just the two of them no one else ^^ 

And then I started asking questions like: why is jimin’s voice like that? why are they in the washroom ‘practicing’? were they practicing that hard? what were they practicing? WHERE DID JUNGKOOK’S SHIRT GO (AND WHY)? why did they even start filming in there? who was at the door? why was it cut? why is just the two of them in the first place?

and why. why did he have to look at him like that:

too soft for my cold heart plz

anyways, when they both ran to the big window window and jungkook was being all cute and shiet and they were like “Wow, the Hong Kong view is so nice…” “…yeah” and then Jungkook just sat down on the bed seeming quite pleased with himself and idk it just felt like something I would write in my fanfics and it just felt so warm and intimate ^///o///^

tl;dr jimin and jungkook are in a hotel room together. that’s it. that’s the sketchy. lol

Dragon Ball  Z Abridged Sentence Meme

disclaimer: All quotes belong to TeamFourStar, and you should go check them out on youtube!

  • “Did you try working the shaft?”
  • “Did you tell him to work the shaft?”
  • “Blah blah blah, then you slayed the jabberwocky and went to save Narnia.”
  • “I said I was wearing my armor.”
  • “Are you a yoshi?”
  • “Yes, __ , I’m a green fucking dinosuar.”
  • I’ll stop there on my way home and pick up some space eggs, space milk and BLOW IT THE FUCK UP!”
  • “It’d be a real dick move to die right now…”
  • “Yeah, so what if I did? What’re you going to do about it, huh?! Come at me bro!”
  • “That means he doesn’t have a penis!”
  • “Oh trust me, I know what it’s like to take a hard one to the face.”
  • “I like my penis where it is, thank you.”
  • “I am a woman!”
  • “Immortality is my bitch.”
  • “Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal slug.”
  • “Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal bitch.”
  • “Wanna go drive cars?”
  • “Bitching.”
  • “Oh god no, my marujuana patch!”
  • “We’re gonna get panties! …I mean immortality.”
  • “Ah ha, so nudity makes you stronger on this planet!”
  • “I’m not a goddamn Yoshi!”
  • “NERD!”
  • “It’s nothing. I’m just…having an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity.”
  • “Take that, you insufferable, fucking simpleton!”
  • “Face down with another man beating your ass–is it Wednesday already?”
  • “They keep kicking me in the dick…why…why do they keep kicking me in the dick?”
  • “And this is ___ . He was a prison bitch.”
  • “I once had a crush on a little Indian boy that I thought was a girl.”
  • “That is ten pounds of nope in a five pound bag.”
  • “Well, sir, if you’re having trouble with our customer support, you can call 1-800-Eat-A-Dick.”
  • “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m usually far more composed. I’m just a little bit absolutely livid.”
  • “That’s stupid. You’re stupid! STOP BEING STUPID!”
  • “Come on guys! We could use whales. Whales!”
  • “This is easily the second worst hole I’ve ever had in my chest.”
  • “I’m about to misuse my hand upside your head.”
  • “First, immortality. Then, the bitches.”
  • “What the fuck’s a condom?”
  • “It’d be really nice to wake up in the morning, press a button, and have muffins.”
  • “Aww! Look, it’s ___ ! You wanna biscuit, boy? You wanna biscuit?”
  • “Of course not! I’m fucking evil!”
  • “They make a special shampoo for that, I hear.”
  • “I have a bitch of an itch on my left ass cheek.”
  • “He’s kind of a tool…for my amusement!”
  • “I don’t what this [name] thing is, but it sounds disappointing.”
  • “Every party needs a pooper that’s why they invited you.”
  • “This is why we need TV!”
  • “All these squares make a circle…all these squares make a circle…”
  • “He/she just dropped a milk jug of LSD. I don’t even know where he got it.”
  • “Listen up, maggots.”
Drunken Mistake~Calum Hood

You were more than nervous to tell Calum the news that you had just found out that you were pregnant. Calum was your best friend and you had no idea how he was going to react to the news. You had gone to the doctor for it to be confirmed and you were 8 weeks pregnant. 

“Calum, we really need to talk.” You said. You and Calum had a drunken mistake one night after a party. Clearly there was no protection being used because you somehow got pregnant.

“You looked scared. Are you okay?” He sat you down and you shrugged. 

“I don’t really know how to tell you this.” You fiddled with your fingers, not looking at him. He would be so angry. 

“Tell me.” He said softly. 

“I’m pregnant.” He paused looking at you. “Calum? Did you hear me?” He nodded. 

“How could you be so stupid? Don’t you know what condoms are?” He asked standing up pacing back and forth. He didn’t know he was the father. 

“Yes I know what condoms are. You don’t.” 

“Yes I do. I always use condoms.” He answered getting angry. 

“Then explain to me how you got me pregnant.” He paused again. 

“What?” 

“It’s your kid.” He sat down not moving. He sat like that for five minutes while you scrolled through your phone. 

“What do you mean its mine?” He questioned. 

“I mean we had sex and you got me pregnant. Calum, you can be as involved as you want to. I’m not forcing this baby on you if you don’t want to be apart of its life. It’s fine.” You shrugged looking at him. He didn’t respond. “I won’t hold it against you.” He nodded. 

“I want to be apart of it’s life.” 

*4 months later*

This pregnancy was the worst thing you have ever gone through. Of course you loved your baby girl but holy crap you just wanted her out. Your families both took the news very well and are more than excited. 

You and Calum have decided to raise the baby together but you don’t have feelings towards each other so you’ll stay single. Calum had been helping with everything. He was at every single appointment, he ran out at 3 in the morning to get pizza if you were craving it, he set up the entire nursery and the swing all by himself. But most of all, he was understanding. He knew when you needed space, he knew when you didn’t want anyone touching your belly, he knew that it was the hormones that would make you cry. 

But what he didn’t understand was how horny this was making you. You were trying to hint at him to have sex with you but it seemed to always go over his head.

Thinking about having Calum help you out, just made it worse. You groaned to yourself as you made dinner for the two of you trying to get it done before he got home from work. It was the least you could do, he bought a bigger apartment so you and the baby could be close to him if something were to happen. 

“What’s wrong?” Calum asked coming into the kitchen. 

“It’s nothing.” You mumbled. 

“Just tell me.” He said rubbing your back in the spot that usually hurt.

“I’m really horny and have no one to help me. But you.” He nodded. 

“Yeah, I hear you at night.” He smirked and you hit his chest. “I’ve debated if I should help but I wasn’t sure. You can always ask me.” He whispered the last part in your ear, kissing your neck. You moaned at the contact when his hand squeezed your butt and moved to your hip. “Tell me what you want me to do baby.” 

“Just touch me. Please.” You moaned. 

“Where?” He asked. You moved his hand to where you wanted him to touch you. He slipped his hand into your leggings, moving your panties to the side. “Right there?” He asked rubbing your clit. You moaned. 

“Right there.” You breathed out. He turned you around dragging you to the bedroom. He took your pants off before taking off his own. He jacked himself for a minutes before pulling your body close to him. He quickly thrusted into you letting you adjust to his size. “Move.” You moaned. He began thrusting holding your hips. 

“You feel so good.” He moaned as he thrusted faster. 

“Please.” You moaned reaching for him. He was a little worried about squishing your belly but he knew you wanted him close. Or at least wanted to kiss him. You pulled him closer to you by the back of his neck, kissing him roughly. “I’m gonna cum.” You moaned. He leaned back, thrusting harder rubbing your clit faster. 

Your orgasms came at the same time and you both moaned in pleasure. He pulled out laying beside you. He pulled you into him. 

“Our sex was always the best.” He said making you laugh. 

“I have the proof.” You said playing with his hair. “The food is most likely burnt.” He chuckled. 

“I’ll order a pizza. You go shower. And put that good smelling stuff on.” He said putting his pants back on smiling at you. You and Calum were going to be just fine. 

What happens if LGBT groups stop talking about safer sex? What happens when you don’t learn about PReP or don’t have access to free condoms?

What happens when we don’t talk about how to have healthy and consensual sex? What if we’re too squeamish to talk about how sex can be consensual but still toxic?

What if we say that sex is bad, that we don’t talk about sex because it’s too dirty? What happens when you’re ashamed of yourself and desires but you can’t talk about it even in LGBT safe places?

What happens when we don’t say anything at all about drugs or alcohol? What happens when you don’t learn about harm reduction and we turn away from LGBT people with addictions?

This rhetoric kills us. Literally. We know that we die if we don’t get spaces to talk about these things, we die when we’re too ashamed of ourselves to go on.

So I’m starting a series that’s TOTALLY different from what I usually draw… but here we go?? I’m going through and drawing the contents of haikyuu characters’ backpacks!! 

First up (of eight), Oikawa.

onceuponademigawd  asked:

I actually didn't learn how to read until first grade (oops) but then I started reading so much I would never be seen without a book around me and (embarrassing story time) I asked my parents what a condom was around 2nd or 3rd grade bc of a book and my parents were so shook they banned me from reading that book .... To this day I still have not finished it

Originally posted by xgabiliciousx

And that, ladies and gentleman, is why we need to be aware of what kids are reading! But, on the plus side, at least you were learning about contraception! You just started your sex education a little early.

Kou: *practicing his singing*

Ayato: Looks like that practice is useless. Even I could sing better than that!

Kou: You’re right. The only thing more useless than my singing lessons are your dad’s condoms.

Dear Parents...

Dear Parents, I’m sorry that I can’t believe in something I can’t physically see and have forced you to take me out of Sunday school.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry you told me when I was younger that men are pigs and don’t appreciate you, yet wonder what you did wrong when I told you I was a lesbian. I’m sorry I don’t understand what you want.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry I listen to “nasty black music.” I grew up with that.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry I’ve become friends with people who aren’t like you. They make me feel at home when I’m with them.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry I stay quiet when you ask me the password to me phone. I say stuff on there that I don’t want you to see. Like this post.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry babysitters and summer camps are expensive, but you know what’s not expensive? Condoms.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry I happened to be one of those babies who screamed and whaled in movie theaters.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry I hate taking pictures because I hate when I looked depressed or angry in them.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry I want to cut my hair because I hate my long and curly hair and would prefer if I had pompadour hairstyle.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry that you’re so perfect and I have failed to realize it. I’m sorry that I have never realized you two had no flaws, and that I’ve wasted my years crying instead of bowing down to you. I’m sorry I’ll never get anywhere with you two constantly telling me what I’m doing wrong.

Dear Parents, I’m not scared of you.

SO IN CHARACTER YURI ON ICE CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY HAPPENED AND THIS HAD ME CRACKING TF UP FOR A LONG TIME.

*CARD COMES UP ABOUT FLAVORED CONDOMS*

Yurio: they come in flavors ?! why??
Yurio: DO. NOT. ANSWER.

Viktor: chris and i played with those once by the pool!
Viktor: :D

Yuuri: don’t tell him
Yuuri: wait
Yuuri: you and Chris!

Viktor: hm ?

Yurio: ohhh shit.
Yurio: busted.

Viktor: me and chris what?

Yuuri: played with flavored condoms by the pool

Viktor: yeah we did
Viktor: we were tasting them
Viktor: and i flung one at his face

Yuuri: how were you tasting them?

Viktor: just pulling them out of the packaging
Viktor: and putting our fingers in them and
Viktor: one sec!
Viktor: phone call!

Yurio: are you actually 12?

Yuuri: …..
Yuuri: Why do I ever leave those two alone and expect anything?

Yurio: are you gonna divorce him


2

I bought condoms for the first time and I feel really empowered by it.

I did research. I checked out multiple brands. I decided what was important to me and searched for it.

I used to believe buying condoms was a “man’s job”, but it’s MY job to keep control of what enters my body.

These condoms are completely vegan and the company is Black owned. 20% of the proceeds go toward community initiatives.

Can’t wait to try them out.

accidental pregnancy! jaehyun
  • alright it was both of your guys faults bc u guys both knew his pull out game was weak af but still had sexy time w/o condoms (what do i keep telling u guys safe sex is important ok)
  • and at first u were like “nah nothings gonna happen i mean the days dont even align i’m sure im not preggers” and jaehyun was like “ye ofc wanna go get ice cream or smth” and so ye like the next 2 weeks u were chill 
  • but then u miss ur period and it makes u go ???????¿¿¿¿¿ “shit what if i am pregnant” and you dont tel him @ first bc ur confused and unsure urself
  • so u isolate urself from him for a while and think things through bc its getting intense
  • u didnt know wht u were gonna do and u knew he was gonna freak the fuk out when he finds out
  • and you’d be sittin there thinking “would he leave me ???? nah man he aint a fuckboy right i mean…nAH naH hE aint” rIGHT??¿???
  • but anyway u started feeling nauseous af and ur like shit nO nONONO and it wold be one of the mornings u were with jaehyun
  • so he hears some fucked up coughing and throwing up and hes like “babe wtf are u doing in there r u ok” and when u dont reply he runs over coz hes worried
  • at first hes like wtf ur throwing up thts nasty shit but then his fuckboiness would go away and he’d pull ur hair back and ask if u were sick
  • and ur LIKe ?¿ “bitch i sure am im sick of u not knowing that im pregers like boi take a fucking hint for once”
  • and he’d just stare at u and would think u were joking at first tbfh but when  ur staring back @ him with a straight face he’d go from :) to :// shit
  • so u push him out of the fucking bathroom and sit him down but you brush ur teeth first bc throw up breath nasty amirite or amirite 
  • so anyway 20 mins later u tell him that u missed ur period and that u two fucked up (literally hah) and he’s trying to take it all in like !! and he stil cant believe that he might be a dad
  • but when ur done explaining hes freaking out but its lowkey so he doesnt wake anyone else up 
  • hes googling shit on how to be a dad and it hasnt been a month yet 
  • ye so he’s doing all this stupid shit and trying to figure out what lifes like to have a baby and ur just like ¿¿ i havent even taken a real pregnancy test yet
  • so he chilaxes for like a few days and doesnt rush u bc he doesnt wanna be all up in ur space u know wat i mean
  • so u take it and surprise ur pregnant and u dont tell him till a week later and now hes back to researching how to be a dad but its more intense
  • u see him at like 2 am with some fake glasses on reading pregnancy books
  • pregnancy books that YOU should be reading not him
  • the boys would be like “wtf is he doing why is he reAd? oH MY GOD U TWO ARE PREGNANT RIGHT ??”
  • and ur like -_- “im pregnant stupid shits im the one carrying it"
  • and the boys are speechless af bc they might be uncles and buy jaehyun even more pregnancy books 
  • hansol and taeil buy you two a fucking crib and it jsut sits in the dorm for months onn end
  • and johnny would buy him lil eggs to care for he’d draw a lil face on them and cared for it making it sit on a lil cushion and would make it his actual baby
  • he’d take it out with him and make it sit in the dining table with him
  • there would be a  day where he saw a crack on the egg and his mood just plummeted “babe ,,,,, our baby is not going to make it”
  • and u would slap some sense into him like ¿” jaehyun shut the fuck up its a goddamm egg”
  • months of prepping are put into this he breaks like 10 eggs but hes actually getting good at taking care of them when the time comes
  • you’d be in the emergency room since ur water just broke and jaehyun would have at least 2 ‘how to be a dad’ books in his hands 
  • and no matter what he stayed by ur side during it all no matter how many times u threatened to kill him he was there holding ur hand
  • and hes been thinking for a while now if you two should get married bc this baby was a big step and ur lying there sweatin ur ass off bc the baby would be coming anytime and he gets on one knee and goes “i know this isnt the best time but will u marry me” and u almost punch him in the dick bc it really isnt the best fucking time
  • but ye out pops the baby and jaehyun starts crying and ur like shIT he doesnt ever do that does he
  • and hes just looking at his beautiful child in his arms and he doesnt speak bc hes still crying
  • and seeing this was probably one of the most beautiful things in life 
  • fast forward to a couple of months later when all the boys are gathered around u and jaehyun ur new baby and they’re all like :,) how could this happen 
  • but it did happen and u were kind of glad it did 
  • baby daddy jaehyun was still a wreck but after reading all of those books and using his experience from his lil baby eggs he turned out to be an ok dad as long as he did his best
  • he dropped the baby during the first month