what in the earth

Back on Earth Headcanons 1 (Eiffel & Minkowski)
  • The first time Minkowski cries back on Earth, it is at a supermarket self-checkout. The voice sounded like Hera for a second. She doesn’t tell Eiffel this.
  • Eiffel can’t stand small spaces. They make him think too much about all those days in the shuttle, with only the voices in his head for company. 
  • Minkowski hates looking at the stars. If she has to go out on clear nights, she keeps her eyes down on the pavement
  • Minkowski calls Eiffel Doug, which initially unnerves him. He continues to call her Commander. After a while, she stops correcting him.
  • Eiffel learns sign language. He dials Kate’s number but isn’t able to find the courage to speak to her. He writes letters to Anne that he never send
  • Minkowski finds Eiffel a therapist but refuses to go to one herself. She spends a lot of time insisting to Eiffel that she is fine
  • She keeps her own death certificate on the wall of her office
  • Eiffel can’t stop calling Siri Hera
  • He gets Hera’s name tattooed on his right wrist in binary code
  • Eiffel binges Netflix. He is keen to catch up on all the pop culture he’s missed, but he finds it difficult to watch anything set in space and films featuring artificial intelligence make him want to cry.
  • Minkowski dreams of alarm sirens and wakes up shouting “Hera? What’s going on?”
  • He buys endless wigs because his hair never properly grew back from all the cryo-freezing. None of them are in natural hair colours. He likes to carry several round with him and change them mid-conversation. Minkowski will look away for a second and suddenly his hair is blue, wasn’t it pink before?
  • Eiffel worries about his health all the time, but is freaked out by doctors and hospitals. He tries to go for a check-up, but the flashbacks of Hilbert are too much. He googles symptoms a lot, but WebMD isn’t very helpful on the subject of ‘Is there still a lethal retrovirus in my body?’
  • Minkowski starts writing musicals again. She talks to Eiffel about her ideas and he does his best not to laugh.
  • She had hoped that being back on earth would mean she devoted less of her energy to worrying about Douglas Eiffel. This is not the case. She checks up on him at least 6 times a day.
  • Eiffel sets his ringtone for calls and texts from Minkowski to a noise similar to the Comms buzzer on the Hephaestus
  • He calls Minkowski when he feels himself on the verge of a relapse. No matter where she is or what time it is, she will get to him as quickly as possible, give him a talking-to and take the bottle from his hand
  • He can’t get out of the habit of talking to himself. He starts a podcast that is basically just him ranting about films and television. It has 21 positive reviews on iTunes but 19 of those are secretly Minkowski with fake accounts
  • Together they burn their copies of Pryce and Carter and their Goddard Futuristics uniforms on a bonfire. It is Eiffel’s idea, but Minkowski is incredibly grateful that he suggested it.

anonymous asked:

I don't know if someone has already asked you this but what kind of humor do the signs have? in your opinion what placements can make someone witty and which signs are classified as the memes of the zodiac lol

Hahah I love this ask! Thanks for sending it, anon.

All signs can be funny, but they’ll be so in different ways. But like, for one to be universally funny… Like, the class clown? The sunshine of the group? Normally these people will have Gemini, Sagittarius, Leo, Capricorn or Aquarius somewhere. Also strong placements in the 3rd (communication), 5th (fun, public and friendships), 7th (partnerships, acquaintances) and 11th (society matters, friendships) houses - these can make the person good at entertaining people (if said placements are good, though!).

As to other kinds of funny:

Water signs can make the person funny in a dramatic way, using their exaggeration to make things funny

Fire signs can make the person confrontational and a little too honest, so the honesty involved in the way they talk will make them funny

Air signs can make the person funny in a witty way, clever way. Awesome bantering

Earth signs can make one sarcastic af, very quick to react in an intelligent manner. Irony is their thing

Hope this cleared it out for you! Now imagine someone that has a mix of all of this… Funny little shits, indeed. lol Do you have any of these, anon? :)

Hello everyone, it is friday and I would like to share this small section of a drawing that contains a friendly bee who is sunbathing

thank you xox

Humans are weird little aliens

I really like the “Humans are space orcs; Earth is space Australia” idea, let’s try this out. 

Crewmates: A Guide To Housing the Main Species by Dr. Troa’Gaa was the name of the book Captain Kii’o grabbed out of the main deck’s bookshelf. He wanted to make sure to properly house the new Human that recently became member of the ship. Captain Kii’o sat beside his co-captain, Maefaa.

“Are you sure having a human aboard is a good idea, Maefaa?” Said the captain.”

“Are you kidding?” Maefaa said. “I’ve heard humans are one of the greatest advantages a captain would want!”

Kii’o didn’t really believe that, but hey. If Maefaa said so, he was inclined to believe it just a tad bit more.

“Alright.” Kii’o said, opening the book and going to the Human section.

“If you are new to housing humans,” Kii’o began reading the book out loud, “be sure to read this guide thoroughly. Humans are unpredictable, so forget everything about the other main species.”

“One of the human’s most surprising abilities”, Kii’o continued, “are their stubbornness. Of course, a race that originated in a Class-B8 Death Planet could only be as stubborn as they come.”

“Class-B8? That’s a little ridiculous. Class-B8s have volcanoes and tornadoes and just about every other weather that wants to kill you.” Maefaa interrupted.

“If a human appears to be superficially hurt, it is not something to worry about. Humans can heal cuts and even broken bones in a matter of weeks. Please, spare your medkits, as they usually are not needed, assuming no crew battle above rank 2 took place.

If you want to keep humans healthy and thriving, be sure to get at least one ‘pet’, as humans call them. If no ‘pet’ is provided, the human may attempt to bond and/or pet just about any living creature not marked as toxic. ‘Pets’ can be found in any ‘pet shop’, as the human civilisation calls them. If no pets can be found in the human’s pod, the human will most likely try to bond with inanimate objects, and try to pet dangerous animals.”

“Yeah, humans try to pet everything. One time, a human tried to pet the Konoios in sector 4, haha.” Maefaa said.

“What happened then?”

“The Konoio didn’t attack. That’s it. They just… stared at each other.”

“Are you sure humans aren’t psychic? Konioios are really aggressive, most of the time.”

“Yeah, I didn’t believe it at first too.”

“Did the Konoio run away?”

“No, it ended up becoming the human’s pet. Now everyone’s afraid of going into the human’s pod, haha.”


(Did you like it? Let me know, and I’ll keep writing!)

Okay, going on the whole “humans are weird” thing, what if it was the way we eat? Like, the aliens just absorb their food, or soak it up like it’ssunlight, and then they find us and we just SMASH OUR FOOD TO PIECES WITH PROTRUDING PARTS OF OUR SKELETON AND SHOVE IT DOWN OUR THROATS!!! 

Crashed landed on Earth and all I got was this rad shirt from the back of Coran’s minivan.