what if i cry all night and just continue through my exam the next morning

one cannot have enough of cute and random aus so here have some more
  • “You’re the cute and quiet customer that frequents the coffee shop where I’m a barista and also where my rival barista works and we’re both fighting for your attention in increasingly creative and inconspicuous ways (making foam art, writing cheesy pick-up lines on your napkin etc. etc.)” AU.
  • “You’re my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you” AU.
  • “You’re an Art student and I’m an English major and you keep stealing the papers for my assignment to doodle and I would kill you but you’re really cute and hey that’s actually a really nice sketch” AU.
  • “You’re the perpetual frowner in class and one day as I’m answering the teacher I intentionally make a very cheesy pun and I can hear crickets but you’re laughing out loud and that makes me feel very much accomplished” AU.
  • “The manager says the only reason the restaurant where we work at is popular is because people enjoy eating while watching our relentless flirting with each other but I swear to God we’re not flirting???” AU.
  • “I ditch prom to attend a local poetry slam and you’re also there and I never really noticed what a cute smile you have and hey do you maybe want to bond over our mutual love for ‘Howl’???” AU.
  • “You’re new in town and you seem very intimidating but as it turns out you have an awful sense of direction even with a map and you’re actually adorkable so here let me help you” AU.
  • “It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m single and you want to cheer me up but you can’t cook nor bake to save your life so you make me hot chocolate instead and it is delicious and I think I love you???” AU.
  • “It’s gym class and we’re playing volleyball and you spike really well and you manage to hit the ball square in my face and I think I’m bleeding and you’re apologizing profusely and it’s okay but you’re really cute so I guess I’ll take you up on that offer for coffee” AU.
  • “You’re the jerk-face customer that keeps on thumbing through their phone while ordering their drink so I exact revenge by spelling your name wrong on your cup and drawing phallic pictures on your coffee” AU.
  • “Our mutual friend invites us to go shopping with them and it’s kind of awkward and now you’re pushing them around the mall in a shopping cart and you’re both screaming like excited children and I’m paying the cashier and pretending I don’t know either of you” AU.
  • “Our mutual friend invites us for Thanksgiving dinner with their other friends and now there’s a full-fledged food fight going on with potatoes and turkey flying everywhere and we’re both seeking refuge under the table whilst sharing a bag of chips that you brought (just in case)” AU.
  • “You and I are both baristas at a coffee shop and one day I step out of the café to take a break and walk in on you gleefully drawing phallic pictures on the chalkboard outside that no one pays attention to so what are you doing?” AU.
  • “You and I go out to a sushi bar and the sushi chef yells at you for being allergic to a particular kind of fish and now you’re crying and I’m trying to comfort you” AU.
  • “You and I are at a sushi restaurant and you’re continuously snagging sushi off the belt that I have to pay for and you don’t seem to be going to stop anytime soon but you look so cute when you’re eating with that smile on your face what the hell man” AU.
  • “The mailman constantly mixes up your home address and mine together and keeps on sending me your letters and packages and I’m sorry I look through them but your life seems very interesting as well as those books on black magic in one of your packages so wanna talk about it over a cup of coffee?” AU.
  • “We’re both strangers sitting in the same booth at an eatery because all the other booths are full and you’re drawing smiley faces on your plate with ketchup and wow your concentrated frown is cute” AU.
  • “It’s our mutual friend’s wedding and they keep shoving us into each other because we’re the only ones at the ceremony who are single” AU.
  • “You’re my roommate and it’s way past midnight and you’re talking about how Charles Dickens inspired prison reform and how the moon must feel insignificant because it borrows light from the sun and this is all very interesting but will you please shut up and go to sleep” AU.
  • “You’re actually a really friendly and chill vampire and at night you float around outside of my bedroom window to talk with me about the universe and stuff” AU.
  • “You’re going through my sketchbook and giving questioning looks and I swear to God I’m just a deranged artist and not a serial killer” AU.
  • “We live next door to each other and I can see you through the window while you’re dancing to your iPod in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and God you’re a dork” AU.
  • “I’ve been standing in line at the coffee shop for hours and you casually cut through for your drink but also buy me my favorite blend and now I’m not so sure what to make of you” AU.
  • “I’m sick so you make me chicken soup and I’m really grateful but I’ve also seen you read books on magical spells and potion-making so I’m not sure if I should drink your soup in case it turns me into a toad” AU.
  • “There’s a scrawny black cat in our neighborhood that hates everyone and everything but follows you around for some reason and I see you pet it and feed it fish fries are you a witch” AU
  • “I’m a perpetual frowner and most certainly not a morning person and I work part-time at a breakfast bar and your disheveled hair and content smile as you eat my waffles and scrambled eggs is the only thing that can get me to smile” AU.
  • “You’re the one in class who has tattoos all over their arms and piercings and everybody’s scared of you and one day I catch you watching cat videos and doodling in the middle of a lecture and wow you’re a dork” AU.
  • “I work part-time as a cashier at the local corner store and you come here regularly to shop and bond with me over the microwavable chicken bites so how about I take you out on a proper date instead?” AU.
  • “I’m the owner of a magic shop and you discover my magics one day when you walk in on my cat flying around inside the shop on a broom and now I have to take you in as my apprentice or turn you into a toad” AU.
  • “You’re the health-conscious med student and I’m the chain-smoking art student who’s also your barista and you leave me notes on smoking and lung health on your napkins and also a 20-page essay on lung cancer tucked under your saucer” AU.
  • “You’re a tea-lover yet you come to the coffee shop where I work at just to see my foam art and you give me hefty tips regularly so I’ve taken it upon myself to master the art of tea-making just for you” AU.
  • “I’m a fashion major and I’m working on my illustrations and maybe I’ve had too much coffee but I swear I just saw one of the mannequins move so here I am calling you in the middle of the night please help I’m scared” AU.
  • “You work at a fast food restaurant and as you hand me my food you lecture me for ruining my health what is this hypocrisy” AU.
  • “I’m egging a random person’s house to relieve stress and you join me and as it turns out the house belongs to your ex and now they are chasing us as well as the police and now we’re both in jail waiting to be bailed so um you wanna talk about it?” AU.
Ten Ways to Say “I love you” - Jim Kirk

Summary: There are a lot of ways to say something without actually saying it.

Warnings: language

A/N: a little long. also if jim kirk called me starlight, i’d probably cry n profess my love right then and there. forgive any n all typos. enjoy it and lemme know what you think! 


One

The absurdly bright lights lining the corridors of the Enterprise pricked your eyes— you were forced to squint as your legs carried you. The air pouring through the vents pinched any of your skin that remained unclothed. You flexed and contracted the oddly tired joints in your fingers— you could hear tiny pops and the soft sounds felt like battering rams against your eardrums.

You cursed yourself for two reasons: losing your left boot as the time-consuming search for it resulted in your inability to replicate a much needed mug of coffee, and drinking so much with Leonard the night before. While you accepted the former was entirely your doing, you split the blame on the latter— half of it was your fault, and half was Leonard’s. It’s those stupid puppy eyes, you told yourself.

You leant your shoulder against the transparent wall of the turbolift you solely occupied and crossed your arms over your chest. Your teeth were gritted— as if grinding your teeth to nubs would give you the day off and rid you of the heavy weight crushing your skull.

The doors slid open before your desired deck and you didn’t bother stifling a sigh that carried the weight of two starships. You dropped your gaze to glare at your scuffed boots rather than subject the new lift patron to your scowl and dagger eyes.

“Rough night?”

You lifted your head at the sound of his voice and met his eyes. You frowned immediately and nodded twice. “Bones and I had paperwork.”

“What would you say the ratio was this time?” he asked, his crossed arms rumpling the command gold fabric that was firmly stretched over his chest. He was smiling slightly in amusement as he took in your appearance— messy hair, half-zipped left boot, heavy lidded eyes.

You shrugged and eyed the ceramic mug in his hands. You could have moaned at the smell steaming out of it. “I’d say about two charts to one glass.”

“How many charts in total?”

“Fourteen each,” you winced at the revelation and took your eyes from Jim’s when the amusement painted his features red.

Seven glasses of whiskey in one sitting,” he said with a laugh. “No wonder you look like that.”

You narrowed your eyes. “How dare you! I look adorable— like a celebrity running errands.”

“‘Cept you’re about to start an eight-hour shift.”

You sighed so your shoulders slumped. “My rough night’s turning into a rough morning— I didn’t even have time to replicate coffee because of my stupid missing boot.”

Jim glanced down at his mug and thrust it in your direction without thinking twice. “Take mine.

Keep reading

I don’t study on weekends. 

It’s the simple reason as to why when it comes to my days of productivity there is (and pretty much always will be) two days that I skip before I continue on with my days of productivity again.

Why?

There’s actually a number of reasons why this approach benefits me, and I think it could potentially benefit all of you as well!

1. Avoiding burn out

Most of my life I had an issue where I was studying a minimum of 6 hours on Saturdays and Sundays, and this was while I was also working 10 hour days as a waitress. All it ended up doing for me was that by Monday morning I was struggling not to fall asleep in my 9 am class and ended up playing Tetris on my iPad instead of paying attention to the class.

That last step is definitely not recommended.

By mid-semester, I was exhausted, grouchy, highly unmotivated to do anything, falling behind in all my classes, ridiculously stressed and tiny things would set me into a fit of rage or leave me crying my eyes out. Basically, not a good look. Also, definitely causes your mental health to deteriorate.

Taking at least one day a week off study to relax can definitely help you with this.

2. It creates a goal for yourself to finish the tasks, and you get a reward too!

Basically, it acts as a bit of a mini reward!

If you finish all of the things you need to do by Friday, you get to have the whole weekend off to spend time with friends and family, or just do things that you enjoy! If you aren’t finished, you can also take Saturday to catch up on work but at least you still get the time off on Sunday.

Up until now, I have barely needed to use the catch-up Saturday. The only times where this is something that I need to do is really when I have a couple of assignments due at once, but even this can usually sort of be planned out so that you can do them in advance. Trust me, it’s a whole lot less stressful if you submit it a few days early and can check and edit your originality, then praying that it’s alright when you submit it one minute before the deadline.

Now that we’ve covered the why let’s go onto the how:

1. Get organised

This is what I’m going to emphasise the most. I generally just use to-do lists in my bullet journal, under the headings of different days.

This is organised by looking at the required readings for the week, any assignments due in the coming weeks and revision for different topics that have already been covered (which means you’re more prepared when it comes to exam time).

Now split all of it up. You have a class with readings on Friday? Then you’re going to want it done by Friday? That class has 70 pages of readings split into 6 sections? Then try to do two of those sections every day until you’re done with those readings.

2. Don’t worry about being too pedantic

This one seems contradictory.

Basically, I don’t worry too much if I haven’t accomplished all of the tasks in the day, as long as I have started all of them. Some days I have more motivation and also brain capacity to get through things quickly and understand the content I’m looking at.

Using this system, I’m usually still ahead by the end of the week! Like last week, I’d accomplished everything on that week’s to-do list, and also some of the stuff that was carried over to the next week! Just keep doing a little bit every day and you will get there.

But do remember that you do have to put a certain amount of time and energy in otherwise you will fall behind. Currently, Monday and Tuesdays I work 9-5, get home around 6 and do a solid 4 hours of study a night. Same goes for the days I have classes, including study during breaks where I have the time.

3. Have a plan for how to relax

This is another one that probably seems odd but was touched on earlier.

It can be super hard to switch from a really intensely studying mode to a mode in which you are allowing yourself to relax and not to worry about things. I have the awesome benefit of an amazing boyfriend who balances me out, and just being with him helps me destress. He also makes me feel like a weekend cuddled up on a sofa, not moving except to get up to eat and binge watching a weird tv show is 100% alright and completely worth it.

If you don’t have any friends who can help you to snap out of the studying mindset when you’re doing nothing, then you need to plan a way to achieve that!

Plan to spend some time doing something with your family. Plan to go out to the movies with friends if they’re free. Go do something that you and someone you know enjoy. Just make sure that you write that plan down in your bullet journal, and you go out and make the most of it.

imaginary friend // h.s

author’s note: A quick shoutout to @iloveyouhaz because I submitted a part of this story to her and she was kind enough to read it and give me feedback! Hope y’all enjoy! P.S: I had the song ‘Sick of Losing Soulmates’ by Dodie Clark on repeat while writing this, so give it a listen while you read! You can find it here.

w.c: 2k

summary: Harry has an imaginary friend called Y/N

Even as a child, Harry was introverted. While the other children his age would be out and about playing, he preferred to stay in the comfort of his bedroom, spending time with his imaginary friend Y/N.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What happens if MC catches RFA/V/Saeran crying?

Yoosung

  • He’d been cramming for an exam because he was not ready to fail this class
  • You woke to an empty bed at 3 in the morning and got up trying to find your boyfriend
  • You found him at his desk with his head in his hands, sobbing
  • Ahhh, the life of a college student
  • You pulled his rolling desk chair back and helped him stand, hugging him
  • “Shhhhh Yoosung, you need to sleep so your brain can rest.”
  • You pet his hair and swayed back and forth trying to calm him down
  • “I can’t fail this MC, I can’t, not when you’re relying on me.”
  • “Shh, I know, I know, shhhh”
  • You finally got him to lay down and held him, rubbing his back and humming to him, until he fell asleep

Zen

  • “MC you gotta do it, for me.”
  • You’d been dating Zen for about a year and Seven only had one request of you
  • “You gotta tell him you wanna lick his abs!”
  • At first you didn’t want to because that’s really weird??? But then he was just there, and you had this one-liner right up your sleeve and you wanted to know what would happen…
  • “Hey Zenny, can I lick your abs?”
  • Zen.exe has stopped working
  • He just crumbles to the ground and is laughing and crying
  • “Zenny are you okay?”
  • “You’re killing me MC.”
  • He’s stopped laughing and is just crying and you’re kneeling in front of him trying not to laugh because you’ve reduced your boyfriend to nothing
  • You run one of your hands through his hair and he cries harder
  • “Do you want some sleep?”
  • “NO! Please no, I just need a minute.”

Jaehee

  • You were locking up the coffee shop one night and Jaehee was taking particularly long in the storage room
  • You went back to check up on her and she was sat, leaning against the wall sobbing
  • Immediately you rushed over to console her, kneeling in front of her and brushing away her tears
  • “Sweetheart, are you okay?”
  • “I’m just so stressed out over all of this, I’m sorry.”
  • “No Jaehee you’re fine, do you want to go home or do you want to stay here?”
  • Jaehee wanted to stay so you kissed her cheek before making her some cocoa and grabbing a slice of cake
  • You two stayed in the stock room, allowing Jaehee to calm down
  • You continued to hold her and just mumble sweet things to her to help reassure her that everything would be alright
  • When you went home you let her curl into you and pressed your lips to her forehead as a last reassurance before falling asleep

Jumin

  • On one of Jumin’s rare days off the two of you decided to laze around the penthouse
  • The two of you were lying together on the couch, him playing with your hair as you were dozing off
  • When you woke back up you noticed the lack of warmth around you
  • In the room next to the one you were in you heard your husband, he wasn’t being loud enough for you to hear but he sounded as though he was in distress
  • Upon entering the room you saw Jumin on his knees crying as Elizabeth the 3rd
  • “Jumin are you alright?”
  • You crouched next to him and rubbed his back as he began talking about how graceful, and beautiful Elizabeth is
  • You let him cry on your shoulder and continued to rub his back in circles, rolling your eyes at your over-dramatic husband

Seven

  • “MC do you see this dog!”
  • You had been sat with Seven and you were going through pictures of dogs
  • When a pug being held up to a rainbow appeared on the screen Seven lost it and just began to bawl his eyes out
  • “It’s a good dog, Seven.”
  • He’s leaning on you from behind, sobbing over this pug, and scream-crying
  • You held one of his hands and kissed it while he rocked back and forth
  • “I love you so much.”
  • “I love you too.”
  • You just rocked back and forth with Seven until he calmed down

V

  • After everything with Rika, V was a lot more sensitive than before
  • She’d really messed his head up and a lot of things became way too overwhelming for him
  • Sometimes you’d come home to find him sobbing somewhere, and whenever you tried to comfort him he’d brush you off
  • He’d tell you he was fine and wouldn’t allow you to help
  • But a few times he’d let you hold him, he’d let you whisper to him reassuring words
  • He’d rest his head on your shoulder and you’d run your fingers through his hair
  • Afterwards you’d make him tea and sit together in peaceful silence

Saeran

  • To see Saeran emote anything other than mild disdain towards his brother was already a sight in itself
  • But when you saw him crying you were shocked
  • Of course you couldn’t just pop up on him because you knew he was defensive
  • Instead you made up two bowls of ice cream and knocked on the door frame before entering
  • You didn’t even mention the fact that he had been crying, just handed him his bowl and let him do what he needed to do
  • You let him lay his head on you lap and held one of his hands
  • “Everything’s going to be alright, I promise.”
  • Sometimes he’d cry harder, other times he’d nod and move on, trying to do something else
  • But either way you’d be with him

LIGHT YOUR OWN FIRE: How I Went From Being a 1st Generation At-Risk High School Student to UCLA Graduate/Published Co-Author/Psych Masters Student

I’m a 24-year-old first generation Cambodian with a degree in Anthropology from UCLA, multiple co-authored publications, breast cancer research experience, and now I’m currently in pursuit of a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology while learning to code in my free time in hopes that moving forward, I will be able to combine technology with my formal education regarding humans and the human mind—possibly working in the field of Artificial Intelligence. I live near Venice/Santa Monica, drive a stick shift Infiniti, I’m an occasional DJ and amateur baton twirler, I speak multiple languages, I can do handstands and the splits–there’s really nothing that’s outside of my realm of possibilities.

I share my current situation not to brag, but to give you insight on how far I have come…because how I got to this point started as a matter of survival.

Born to two Cambodian immigrants who escaped the Khmer Rouge in their teen years, my life starting out was really challenging.

My parents barely managed to graduate high school…so the best job my mom could get back then was working at Rite Aid. Meanwhile, my father stayed home taking care of me and my older brother. We were really poor, but I was happy—I didn’t know any other way of life.

I spent a lot of time with my father reading books and going to the library. He stressed reading and education to me really early on and in hindsight, I see that it’s because he wanted for me, what he could never have—a college education.

Up until about 7 years old, we lived in not so great neighborhoods around Long Beach, CA before finally moving to the Central Valley. My father’s father passed away so we moved up north to Fresno to be with my 70 year old grandmother. This is when everything started going downhill.

I remember nights when my mother wouldn’t come home, often saying she was staying with my aunt. As a child, I remember being worried, but always unsure why this was happening. It all started to come together for me one morning when my father was driving us to our new school. My mom hadn’t come home the night before which didn’t bother me too much. I was used to her being absent—and when she was around, she wasn’t the nicest person anyways. At a stoplight, in the car next to us, it was my mother in the passenger seat…and an unfamiliar man driving her car.

This is the point that flipped my whole life upside down.

I couldn’t go to school that morning because I didn’t want anyone to see my crying. My dad forced my mom to get in the car and on the way home, he was swerving in anger in attempt to try and kill all of us.

The next morning, I woke up to loud noises in my parent’s room next door. My dad was on a rampage throwing and breaking everything in the room…he even ripped the nailed down lamp off the wall. Then I heard my mother scream, “I don’t want the kids, you can put them in foster care.” I laid there silently, both scared and sad at the time…tears rolling off my face onto my pillow.

This was the breaking point for my parents. My dad was taken to jail and later released and my mom went to stay…wherever it is she would usually go.

Fast forward a year later, my dad won custody of me and my brother and my mother was pregnant with the man in the car’s son. I didn’t see my mom much after that. She never used her visitation rights. But I was happy with my brother, father and grandmother…until my father met my stepmother.

Long story short, he ended up moving away to another town with her when I was in 5th or 6th grade leaving me with my grandmother who didn’t even speak English. On the upside, it made me fluent in Khmer which I am grateful for. But on the downside, I felt abandoned and the world suddenly got really dark. My grandmother favored my brother, not an unusual circumstance in the Cambodian culture, but he would hit me or do other cruel things like read my journal to the boy I liked in school and get away with it. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to commit suicide under these circumstances.

The sad part about all of this was that I was a stellar student. I was in the junior doctor’s academy, I was first chair flute in band, I always got straight A’s…but once my dad left, I stopped caring. I began to question why no one would stick around.

Junior year of high school, I completely gave up. I was in my third year of French, AP Bio and AP US History because I was testing at a high level, but I just stopped going to school. Instead, I was getting drunk wherever I could, with whoever I could every night and sleeping in until the afternoon. I learned quickly that no one was going to do anything about it. The school would call my grandma but she couldn’t understand English…not that I even cared what my grandma would have to say to me. I ended up getting put on home studies for kids who were at risk not to graduate high school which was really funny to me because I knew I wasn’t a true risk. Even on home studies, I couldn’t make it to the once a week sessions with my teacher who would assign homework that was way too easy for me. I continued to party and drink instead.

But one morning, it was like a switch went off in my head that said, “You’re too smart to live like this forever. It’s time to do something.” I went to my home studies teacher and told him I wanted to take the California High School Proficiency Exam so that I could leave high school and start college. He laughed, shrugged his shoulders and said, “It’s hard, not a lot a students pass.” When I left, I remember thinking to myself, “Just watch.”

A month later, I managed to behave and not get drunk the night before the test. I was 16 years old at this point. There were three sections to the test: math, verbal and written. All of which were too easy for me. My background growing up with a love for books made me an exceptional writer and test taker. I left the test feeling pretty dandy and carried on normally for next month or so—but I stopped going to school altogether because I was certain I didn’t need to. The evening before the results came out, I was with my best friend, Brittanie, who pretty much saved my life back then just by being my friend because she was the opposite of me—an intelligent, superstar athlete who is now in medical school. But she encouraged me to check the scores online even though I didn’t think they were up yet.

They were in fact ready—and I passed all subjects with nearly perfect scores…and just like that I was done with high school.

From that point to where I am now, it took a lot of grit…I experienced way too many obstacles, but time after time, I was able to overcome them and that’s why I decided to write this article—I want to explain the mindset that it took to get me from abandoned/neglected teen at risk not to graduate high school to UCLA graduate/published author/experienced scientific researcher/Master’s student.

I continue to face obstacles to this day, but one of the biggest challenges I have faced since day one is a lack of support/encouragement. But here is how I deal with it:

I don’t take no for an answer. When one door shuts, I find another one to open. And I don’t stop until I get in. I call it optimistic relentlessness. Take rejection with a smile, move to the next door. Don’t focus on the rejection, focus on the possibilities. 

I don’t give up. I had a mentor once tell me, if you quit one thing, you’ll start to quit everything. So something I tell myself when I’m lifting weights is that I can’t stop the set until I’m ready to cry. I apply this to real life, nothing I protest doing or want to quit is never really that bad…I constantly ask myself, “What happens if I don’t give up?” It’s more rewarding to speak to myself this way rather than just being demanding towards myself. There is quite literally a reward to not giving up. 

I believe in myself even if no one else will.This is the most challenging part of getting to where I am. No one told me to go to UCLA, and I don’t report back to anyone about my accomplishments. I have always had to push myself and that requires igniting a fire within, trusting and believing that I AM capable and that I AM smart. No one thought that I would reach as far as I have, but it’s truly been a matter of telling myself YES I CAN. I shut out all opinions/thoughts and only listen to my own. 

I nourish my mind with positive thoughts, inspiration and knowledge. What keeps my fire blazing is that I find the resources and information I need to get where I need to go. This is driven by a desire to do and be better every single day so that I never fall back to the helpless state I was once in. The key to success is truly education, whether through a formal system or just the internet. I also use my blog as a source of inspiration because the quotes and things I post, I use as inspiration for myself so when I return to my blog, I always have inspiring reminders to keep me going. 

I surround myself with people who are walking similar paths. I learned early on to be around people who are doing the things I want to be doing. Again, it was a matter of survival and I knew finding the right friends was crucial for me to escape a potential future working at a fast food restaurant. I may not have had similar upbringings as most of my friends, but I managed to make quality friends because I put myself in places with people where we had similar end goals. 

I don’t allow negativity in my life. If anyone talks down to me, disrespects me, or makes me feel anything less than great, I walk away. I do not tolerate any kind of negative energy in my life because I experienced enough of that in my early life. This is really adamant because it’s like trying to climb a mountain with heavy weight, if you drop the unnecessary weight, you can climb faster. Negative people/energy = heavy weight. Drop it. Get away from it. Don’t let it come near you! But don’t forget to check yourself either. Words carry energy, whether its talking to yourself or someone else, stay away from the negative energy zone! It’s completely unproductive for you and the world around you. 

I forgive, frequently, very frequently. Similar to the climbing a mountain analogy, holding grudges and being angry at people is imprisoning yourself and is a complete waste of time and energy. I’ve learned to let go of the pain of my past because it held me back so much. I would have meltdowns…often angry about what my parents did and didn’t do. I wasted a lot of time and energy circulating those thoughts…when I finally let them go, I was free. The difference in energy was amazing. I didn’t feel pain or suffering anymore…From then on, I stopped holding grudges because I only want to hold positive, light energy in my soul and to do that, I have to forgive not just other people, but also myself…for not performing better, or forgetting to do something…It’s important to just let things go and keep your focus on your future. The past is over. 

I give thanks to God. I believe there is a higher power that has kept me safe because I truly have good intentions…intentions to serve others and make the world better than when I found it. Whether you believe in a God or not, being grateful always makes life feel abundant. I struggled a lot on my journey, but I always took time to reflect on where I was, the doors that opened for me…I’m eternally grateful that I get to even breathe. The rest isn’t so bad when you realize you could be starving in a third world country or even be dead. But the more I say thank you for even the smallest things, the more blessings I seem to receive, because all of a sudden, everything is like a gift–the front parking spot, the free scoop of ice cream, the dollar on the ground…Plus, a grateful heart is full of joy. The more gratitude expressed, the more joy you will feel…and that joy can take you from being a miserable nobody to being a source of hope and inspiration for the world. 

Who I am now from where I started was and still is an endless series of trial of error. I have achieved so much from where I began, but I worked HARD to constantly adjust my thoughts and I continue to every day because the journey never stops, and the obstacles don’t stop coming. I continue to become better, smarter, wiser and as I look back…I am deeply humbled by the moments of weakness that turned to moments of strength…And at the end of my life, despite all the failures/shortcomings, at least I’ll always know that I was fearless in this lifelong battle.

I wrote this because I truly want to see our society with less struggle and I want to see more people on fire for life…so this is me holding your hand through your journey and cheering you on screaming, “YES YOU CAN!” There is no reason why we can’t all be successful and it starts right now with the thoughts we carry, the mindset that we have…And if you, like myself, want to set fire to other candlesticks, share this knowledge! Share YOUR knowledge. Let’s not keep anyone in the dark…

…because the more fires we light, the brighter the world will be.  

Nurse Andy

Ty was a piece of work. He thought he was king; grabbing the ass of any hot man he felt like grabbing, cat calling as many men as he could. Some straight men tried to fight him, some did. But he could hold his own and protected himself in many of those fights. One day he got the flu and headed to the hospital. The nurse greeted him to step into the examining room and Ty was in heaven. Nurse Andy was tall, personable, glowing, and he had the largest ass he’d ever seen on an in shape dude. “Fuck, you got a fatty!” Ty pinched Andy’s ass and Andy grabbed Ty by the wrist; squeezing it hard. “Follow me to the exam room” Andy said with a bit of disdain.
The appointment took forever (in Andy’s mind) Ty would sneak glances at Andy’s ass whenever he got the chance, his hands were reaching for his ass, cock, and abs whenever he found an opportunity. If Andy ever felt uncomfortable at work, it was now. “How about your number sexy?!” Andy cringed and told Ty he was getting a new one tomorrow… anything to get the creep to head home. Ty was sent with a prescription and a boner as his night was filled with jacking off to the ass of his dreams.

The story doesn’t end there. Ty was a very stubborn horn dog. The next week as he was feeling better Ty returned to that hospital. Andy was standing at the computer and Ty stared hungrily at that ass. It had to have gotten larger since the last time he saw it. “Excuse me… nurse!” Ty grabbed Andy’s ass and Andy jolted back and tensed up. “Sorry, I needed your attention… you see… I think I’m sick…” Ty gave Andy some puppy dog eyes and continued… “I’m lovesick baby…” Ty tried to reach behind Andy for another booty grab but Andy stopped it. He got an idea… “Oh… well… I think I know just the cure… sugar…” Andy guided Ty into another exam room and whispered in his ear, “That number could be all yours after this is over with…” Ty’s boner shot up and he was ecstatic. Andy sat his down and Ty laid on the table. Andy put on some new gloves and asked “Where’s it hurt baby?” Ty pointed to his crotch and Andy began to massage and kneed to problem area as Ty began to moan. “Oh, I’m having a hard time finding the problem… I need to get closer…” Andy jumped on Ty’s stomach and his ass was right in front of Ty’s face as he began to gently “examine” Ty’s cock through the man’s sweats. “Looks like this is gonna require surgery…” Andy coyly spoke. “SURGERY!?!?” Ty was confused… what type of sex reference could Andy be doing now? “But first I need to apply some anesthesia.” Andy scooted back with Ty’s face in his butt. PHROOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBTTTT! Five seconds of wind rushed right into Ty’s lungs as he began to cough. “What’s *cough* going on?!? *cough* *gag*” Ty was struggling the minute the smell instantly hit him. “This is for being a pervert fucker!” BBRRRMMMMPPPPHHHH!!! BBBRRRRRMMMMMPPPPHHH!!!! It started out with ten farts to the face. Ty was in shock with how much gas this guy had. He was in tears, afraid as to what Andy was truly capable of. The endless barrage of gas increased in length and Andy was ripping farts well over 10 seconds long. They got hotter, denser, they burned Ty’s lungs. “GET OFF OF ME!!! GET OOOOOFFFFFFF!!! PLEAAAAASE! PLEASE! please!…” Ty began to thrash as Andy was just getting warmed up, Ty’s dick began to get limp as Andy increased the length of each blast of gas. “I think you’re starting to go limp… everywhere sweetie…” Soon I can begin the procedure…" Ty fell out of consciousness after a whopping 65 farts. Nightmares flooded his brain of the guy with the massive gassy ass from hell.

The story doesn’t even end there… Andy worked diligently to perfect his master plan. A little bit of this medicine… a little bit of that medicine. Ty would soon look like an addict. A cut to the wrist, a smear of drug on his face, around his mouth… under his nose. Andy would soon own him. “DOCTOR! Look what I found! Come quick! Who was his attendant?” Dr. Rear looked puzzled, “I have no evidence of his as a patient since you treated his flu.” “How did he get in here?” Andy asked sheepishly. “I feel like a failure… he was my patient… Do you think???” Andy gave Dr. Rear some puppy dog eyes as Ty jolted awake and began to scream. “AHHHH STOOOPP!!! STOOOOOP!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!” Dr. Rear watched Ty’s dramatic screams and called for Andy to calm him… Andy grabbed him by the shoulders and whispered in Ty’s ear… “shut the fuck up or I’ll make the next dose ten times worse…” Ty hushed and Dr. Rear was impressed at Andy’s soothing nature. He had no idea what he said to Ty, but he knew he had picked the right nurse. Ty began to cry and whimper about a butt monster. Dr. Rear chuckled and decided to announce the news. “Andy… we were gonna surprise you tonight, but you got the job… head nurse over the psychiatric clinic… your dream job. Ty seems to react well to your care and I think he’s gonna be your new patient.” “Oh boy!!! Thanks Dr Rear!” Andy jumped up and down and Ty was starting to feel nauseous from worry.

And of course the story isn’t gonna end there. Ty sat, restrained to a chair, whimpering in fear of his new life. The door abruptly opened and Andy barged in wearing the tightest scrub bottoms he could find. He was munching on some hummus and broccoli. “I have a prescription for you for your… problem… but we both know that doesn’t exist. I have all the prescription you need right here…” Andy turned his back and showed Ty his ass. Ty was still in awe of those beautiful mounds of flesh… until something erupted. PHHHRRRRMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPHHHHHH!!! The smell hit Ty and the gagging began again. “What’s that honey? Oh?!? Didn’t I tell you my post lunch gas is even worse than my morning gas? Well, you’ll have to get used to it fast… because I’m only gonna be making it worse…” Ty was in hell. Days went by, weeks turned into months and it was a year and a half later when Dr. Rear checked up on Ty. “As you see Doctor… I cured his drug addiction. He won’t even look at the stuff.” Andy had previously farted in a whole bottle of narcotics and opened it in front of Ty for the doctor to see. Ty winced and turned his head away from the pill bottle to avoid the smell. Dr. Rear thought nothing of it but that the boy was cured. “Perfect!” Rear exclaimed. “There is one issue though Doc. He still has screaming sessions and won’t stop talking about the butt monster… but his insurance no longer covers hospitalization at a psychiatric clinic.” Dr. Rear looked puzzled until Nurse Andy presented an idea. “I will give up my position as head of this clinic and become Ty’s at home nurse… permanently if need be.” Ty lost his composure and started screaming at Dr. Rear. “Nurse! Restrain him! I think he’s having an episode!!!” Andy grabbed Ty and whispered: “shut up or I’ll fart” Ty began to cry out louder. Andy grabbed Ty’s head and caressed it shill pressed against his hip. “There there Ty… the butt monster isn’t gonna hurt you.” The smell entered Ty’s nose and Ty began to give up hope. That nauseous smell would haunt him for the rest of his life. Ty fell unconscious at Andy’s SBD. “Nurse Andy, you’ve always been able to keep that boy calm and centered. Thank you for your talents and hard work at this clinic! I’m proud to promote you to stay at home nurse for young Ty. Here’s a $20,000 annual bonus!”

The story sort of does end here. Nurse Andy took Ty home and tied him to a bed. That night Andy watched TV as he ate ice cream and sat on Ty’s face. The gas burned Ty’s nostrils more and more with each constant release. Andy brought him to the dining table and farted on Ty’s food… every bite. Ty was chained to the ground as Andy worked out. Each squat he’d receive a fart. There was no more complaining, no struggle. Over time Ty accepted his fate. Hundreds if not thousands of farts a day were fed to the once horny, perverted, asshole. One day while at dinner Andy sat on Ty’s lap and ripped a fart that lasted minutes long. When he stood up he noticed a wet spot on Ty’s pants. “OHH!!! Looks like that little problem of yours is back… may have to take you to surgery again. Ty didn’t scream. He didn’t fight. He didn’t resist. He bowed his head, held out his wrist and prepared to be led to bed to receive his daily "anesthesia” “Yes master” Were Ty’s solemn words.

Magic Words (Ong Seongwoo)

Title: Magic Words

Member: Ong Seongwoo ft. Kang Daniel

Genre: Fluff with kinda angst?? (I don’t know lol)

Words: 2,367 words

Quote: Mahaken da Pepeldomoon

“to forget one’s pain and sorrow”

Song reference:  여왕의 기사 Overcome by Nu’est

Originally posted by onqs


  • You and Ong had been best friends for quite a long time now. You and Ong met when you are still studying at middle school, since at that time you are new to the school, Ong had volunteer himself to tour you around school since he said he’s the best tour guide ever. Every time the both of you stop in a room, he’ll make puns and jokes just to ease your nervousness.
  • After that Ong became your first friend in the entire school, he always makes sure that everything will be fine and you’ll fit right in school.

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Chapter IX | Tell Me - A Harry Styles Uni AU

Main Story page is here.

Song for the Playlist - My Girl by The Temptations

Instagrams are here - (none for this chapter, again, because the app is still being a dick)

Word Count - 4150…ish

“You are literally,” Eden spoke as she grabbed a glass and poured herself some of the Strawberry Daiquiri pitcher in the middle of the table, “the sixty fifth person to say that and I’m listening to everybody like I’m the only one who never saw it actually coming.”

“Eden, the world and its dog saw this coming.”

“I don’t like this,” she furrowed her brows and had a playful pout on her lips.

“You are blind. Nobody could miss the way he looked and still looks at you.”

“Really that obvious this whole time, huh?”

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Wednesday, 3 am - Charlie McAvoy

boyfriends make good study buddies

requested: yes | no

word count: 1332

warnings: mentions of v terrible and famous injuries

a/n: i struggled with this one a bit too, hope it’s alright! once again it’s unedited, but i’ve been super busy over the past few days! and i’d be lying if i said this wasn’t named after a simon and garfunkel album

Originally posted by bruinsnation

you pushed your hair behind your ear and made a noise of frustration. you’d tied it up hours ago, but various strands had been escaping as you sat in the spare room of the apartment you shared with your boyfriend, cramming for your exam that took place tomorrow.

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Two Americanos; forever

Originally posted by im-in-trbl

“Anything I can help you with?” he asked massaging your fingers and pouting his lips as you leaned against the chair you were sitting on running your other hand across your face harshly and pushing your long hair backward. “I’m just tired I guess.” You shook your head giving him a small comforting smile, indicating that you were alright. He gave you the puppy eyes and pouted his lips even more at your answer. “Let’s take a break.” He suggested and you already lost count at how many times he had asked in the past hour. You smiled and nodded your head. “Alright. Buy me coffee?” you asked and he nodded his head excitedly and pushed his seat backwards quickly, letting out a screeching sound and gaining the attention of everyone in the library. They all glared at you and him to which he nervously apologised softly and bowed his head at them. You let out a laugh barely audible as you pushed your chair backwards softly and stacked your books and kept your pens and pencils in place, before taking your phone and your bag leaving everything else on the table.

“You’re not going to pack them?”

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You Fit Me Better Than My Favorite Sweater  |  Part I

~*~



“I’m not late!”

Simon—A mess of heavy breathing and haphazardly tugged on clothing— slams down his satchel onto the table, a very subdued Izzy watching him with  a blasé upturn of the lips and  her chin cradled atop her palm. Not  so much as a flinch to indicate that she even noticed his antics. (Then again, if the same thing happens every morning—Simon supposes that one should become immune from the shock.)

“You know chico, the buss leaves the same time every morning and yet you’re still late every morning. Should I assume that you’re trying to tell me something? Like maybe you’re about  to drown in you’re serious lack of time management skills.”

Simon all but collapses into the seat besides her, readily accepting the spare coffee she tacitly  offers him without even bothering to look his way—Just like every morning. “You know Iz, our friendly neighborhood SpiderMan was once perpetually late to his own bus, and I think he’s doing just fine—I mean erm, deals with the devil incarnate and being cloned about a million times over—But all considered…He’s doing pretty good…”

“Hmm, so are you telling me instead that you’ve been bitten by some radioactive insect?” She interrogates with a playful craning of the brows.

“One, Not an insect. it was a spider…Hence Spiderman, and two, I would definitely tell you if a spider bit me…Considering that it’d be the most action I’ve gotten in weeks.”

Simon immediately regrets the joke once Izzy  gives him that one eyed squint that all the fucking Lightwoods seem to have mastered as a way to call someone out on their bullshit. “Well I  know for a fact that Karen Diaz is still completely smitten with you—you know if you ever gave her, or anyone for that matter, the time of day.”

Simon bristles. “And your point is?” He presses—Not seeing the actual correlation.

“Oh, nothing, just an observation,” her lips quirk up into a shit eating grin—And Simon knows that look—It’s the same look she gave him before telling Marcie Cartwright about his embarrassingly large  collection of comics because, “She’s not the right girl for you Si.” Or the time she forced him to kiss her full on the mouth in front  of the entire cafeteria sophomore year to prove that he really was more attracted by the idea of Isabell Lightwood, then her in all her raw glory. “I’d destroy you Lewis, you need someone soft and lovey-dovey.” (Basically it’s Izzy’s I’m gonna embarrass the fuck out of you so that you can realize something that is glaringly obvious if you weren’t so helplessly  inept look™.) “But now that I think of it,  I bet  your reticence towards any romantic endeavors   might be induced  by your  complete obsession  of a certain brother of mine?”

Simon’s blood runs cold—And honestly Izzy couldn’t even bother  giving Simon the decency of rubbing out the sleep in his eyes before she finds it fitting to mortify him. “Ah—I—I don’t even  know what your even talking about Iz—Have you gone insane since I last saw you yesterday? I mean do you have any brothers? I didn’t even notice that was a thing…Wow when’s class starting huh?“

“You’re a lying liar who lies!” She crows, emphatically waving her finger around his face. And well—Fuck Izzy Lightwood for Practically glowing with glee at his embarrassment.

But before Simon could even think of mustering a semi coherent retort, the shrill ringing of first period’s bell sings to him like a chorus of angels. “Oh thank God.” But Simon knows he’s not off the hook quite yet if the This is not over leer Izzy gives him indicates anything. (And honestly why did Simon have to go and surround himself with such an array of bad ass women who could eat him whole for breakfast.)

“Morning folks, and welcome to your last semester of senior year,” Luke claps everyone awake, greeting the class with his booming voice—A dopey grin lighting up his objectively handsome face—Just as it does every morning after he clicks off the line with his wife and Idris Institute’s art professor, Jocelyn Fray. It’s one of the many reasons why the entirety of the student body all but  gushes over their love sick tendencies—Simon excluded of course because they are basically his God parents, and ewwww. Simon does not need to imagine them murmuring sweet nothings to each other in the depths of the night—or especially not them doing  the nasty.

The class gives him half muddled greetings in return—Only and only because everyone and their grandmother loves Luke fucking Garroway, if it were any other professor Simon would pretty securely wager that the student body would remain the mindless zombies that all teenagers on the  precipice of adulthood are before they get their daily caffeine intake.

“Now I know that this is probably the time when you all check out—Most of you have gotten your college acceptance letters, or tickets to travel, or have secured a job,” he commences to stroll up and down the aisles of desks as he passes out a salmon toned rubric to everyone. “But allow me to remind  you that   this course can and will if need be, hold you back from graduating with your class. So I need you awake, attentive, and alert at all times for just a few more weeks. Does that sound fair?”

As if on queue, the door to the room swings open—A flurry of heart eyes, and raucous snickers tumbling across the threshold.

Magnus bane and Alec Lightwood are basically the epitome of what personifies that annoyingly perfect high school sweetheart trope that every lowly human craves to experience. Both unfairly good looking, both smart enough to have really intense arguments in the middle of lunch (Which Simon swears by his Seva’s grave is just a form of for play to them,) And both destined to win class cutest couple, get married, have a couple kids and own a vacation home in the South of France by the time their ten year high school anniversary comes around.

It’s kinda sickening if Simon is being honest—He’s definitely not resentful at how happy they look with a throbbing bruise already starting to purple on Alec’s neck, and Magnus’s ordinarily perfectly quaffed hair looking like a rabid beast had just ran it’s claws through it. Nope, definitely not resentful—Or envious—Or wishing he actually had a relationship himself to look that stupidly in love. (And  if Simon’s gaze subconsciously strays to the back of the room where one Jace Lightwood  makes it a  point to sequester off to every morning—Well Simon really can’t be held accountable for what his body does on instinct—Like how his heart may or  or may not  skip a beat when Jace’s fucking insanely beautiful  eyes glance up to meet Simon’s staring for or only a moment, or  how Simon’s palms become oddly clammy when he detects a distinctly Rosie hue touching the tops of Jace’s impossible cheekbones in response—Yeah, none of that is Simon’s fault, especially when taking into account how Jace looks like some sort of mother fucking amalgamation of James Dean and some etherial ass angel—Like the whole wings flapping, heavens shining type. (Golden aura and all.)

It’s really not fair.

Simon is only mildly aware of  Luke—With a fond sort of exasperation that tells Simon he’s still gonna vote for Magnus and Alec  for the superlative they so rightfully deserve—Tells them to take their seats. Simon only really tares away from the all too pleasant view of Jace when Izzy—With as much stealth as a pink elephant clambering through Time Square during rush hour—elbows him in the side, and god damn are those jujitsu classes really having an effect.

“Stop gawking at each other like nerds,” she mouths before settling back into her own seat.

Simon resents the idea that their at all nerds, (And besides nerds are totally back into the cute category in the mainstream.)  but nonetheless  he appreciates the fact that he wasn’t imagining how her brother  was holding Simon’s eyes with the same veracity. Even if that probably means little to nothing, While Simon was surely looking like a love sick pug, Jace probably just had on one of his patent “I’m gonna rip out your jugular with my teeth if you dare to talk to me,” looks, and Simon only didn’t notice because well—Jace is hotter than the actual fucking sun, with all his smoldering eyes, and rare smiles and impossibly soft looking hair that he always runs a hand through whenever he’s particularly focussed on a task or when he’s exasperated by one of his siblings antics.   Tie all that together with a body that’s all chorded muscle and bronze skin—and well, erm—Yeah—Jace is pretty fucking smoking if Simon has anything to say about it.

, Besides, Simon   has never been afraid of being burned just a little to get what he wants.)  

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December 22, 2016 (Day 180)

“Mama, I’ll have Michonne call you back. She’s still in bed.” Rick paused as his mother spoke. “Mama, I’m very much aware that it’s 8:30 in the morning…trust me.” Rick paused yet again and then shook his head. “No, ma’am, I wasn’t getting smart with you. We just got in really late last night and I’m still a little out of it. As soon as Michonne gets up, I’ll have her call you. Alright. Love you, too, Mama. Bye-bye.”

Rick hung up the phone and looked over at his wife’s back. “You can stop pretending to be asleep now.”

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What Would You Have Me Do?: Pt. 6 (FINAL)

What Would You Have Me Do?| Mark Tuan

Pt. 1| Pt. 2| Pt. 3| Pt. 4| Pt. 5| Pt. 6 (FINAL)

Prompt:

A/N: I can’t believe I’ve finished my first series. I’d like to thank everyone for putting up with my awful posting scedule, I promise that I’ll post more often now. Thank you so much for reading and please anticipate the next story!

A few days had passed since you met Mark at the coffee shop and proceeded to run away from him like a coward. You regretted the action as soon as you were halfway down the street. At that point it was too late for you to turn back and beg him for forgiveness. Instead you carried on, walking swiftly with your head down so passersby wouldn’t see your tears.

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Imagine Bones Helping You With Depression

Originally posted by deeepsleep

Prompt: Hi, feel free to ignore this request but could I get a fic where the reader is depressed a self harms until one day kirk or bones sees them doing it and comforts them and gets them help. I need one of my heroes to save me… thanks:)

Warnings: Self harm, depression, insecurities

Word Count: 1052

Author’s Note: To the lovely person who requested this: I hope what I wrote is similar to what you had in mind :) 

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Breakfast in bed

Genre: Angst (is it tho? idk it’s more sad at first but idk how to describe it) / Fluff!

Request: can i have a scenario where you’re stressed out/sad and mark tries to cheer you up (as your boyfriend)? hehe take your time to do this and have a nice day/night ahead!!

A/N: This is my first request aaaah thank you so so much I really hope you like it!! I was so happy to see your ask lmao I got so excited I started writing straight away 😅 

Word count: 1,591

Originally posted by blackgirlslovebts

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Love Me Right  [F]

Originally posted by talk-me-down-troye

Warning: Mentions of relative death, fluff

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Word Count: 2,926

Based on this request :)

The day began just like any other.

The warm sun rays poured in through the small gaps the broken blinds held, something Yoongi was supposed to fix a month before. The loud alarm rang throughout the small apartments bedroom causing the man to grumble against your neck, his sweet aroma seeping into your skin causing your tired eyes to close for a mere five minutes more. It was a routine event after all this time, which is why you knowingly set your alarm for earlier than usual.

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Sirius Black x Reader: Stop it

     Everything was normal, or as normal as things could be with the Marauders. We are making our way down to the dungeons for our potions class, but as normal the boys are messing around, which will undoubtedly make us late. For once, I don’t think I’d mind the idea of being late to potions. Who would want to spend such a lovely spring afternoon in the drafty dungeons that often smell like something’s burning or rotten eggs?

      I made the mistake of looking over at Sirius. He had his trademark smirk on his face, and mischief was sparkling in his eyes. For once, his hair looked decently combed. Sirius was driving me insane. His laid back personality, his laid back composure. The way he talked. How his hands were always stuffed in his pockets or his arms were crossed behind his head. The way he just waltzed throughout the school without a care. Everything, everything he did, everything about him. It was driving me insane.

     Without my permission, and without much thought, a sentence tumbled past my lips. “Oh my god, Sirius, stop it.” He turned to me with an amused look and a raised eyebrow. “Stop what, (Y/n)?” He asked, his voice smooth and silky. “Just stop, stop being so attractive and mesmerizing.” I said, once again without much thought put into it. “Attractive? Mesmerizing? You find me attractive and mesmerizing?” Even if I wasn’t looking, I would have been able to hear the smirk behind his words. “I- I have no idea what you are talking about.” I stuttered out, playing dumb.

     “Oh, but you do. You said, and I quote, stop being so attractive and mesmerizing.” James stated, using my words against me with a smirk. “James Potter I said no-” I began to protest, but was cut short. “You don’t happen to fancy me, do you (Y/n)?” Sirius asked, the amusement in his eyes and the smirk on his face only growing. I opened and closed my mouth many times to give some sort of answer, but found myself unable. I wouldn’t have been able to tell the truth even if I wanted to. The smirk faded from Sirius’ face. “You do don’t you?” He asked much softer, no longer joking. I looked away to the ground, cheeks warming and tears forming. Not giving him the chance to reject me, or maybe even accept me, I hurried off with one destination in mind. And it wasn’t potions class, but the girls’ bathroom.

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Early Morning Chats - Jiyong/G-Dragon Fluff

Originally posted by violaone

GD is my BigBang bias can you blame me Kwon Jiyong is king. Exams are over next week y’all, I’m gonna cry with happiness.

Word count: 1017

Genre: Fluff


“Guys, I’m going to have to call it a night.” Your friend, Yumi said as she stretched her arms out and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Another one bites the dust, we see.” Jiyong chuckled.

You and your five friends you were with made a stupid bet. The aim of the game was to stay up for as long as possible. Whoever stayed up the longest won, which sounds dumb but these were the sorts of thrilling games your group came up with at eleven at night. It was now two thirty in the morning, and as Yumi walked out of the room after wishing you both luck, it was just you and Jiyong.

“Just me and you left, huh? Who’d have guessed it.” Jiyong said, his head falling back to look up at the ceiling.

“We are practically nocturnal, Jiyong. I could have predicted this weeks ago.” You replied, reading the book you’d had in your hands for a very long time.

Out of all of your friends, and yeah, you were all very close, you probably knew the least about Jiyong. Not that you didn’t want to learn more about him because damn, you sure did admire that boy from a distance. You swore everyone else in your group could tell, but nobody really said anything because you were never a group to call someone out on who they liked. Them sorts of things were kind of confidential.

“How could you predict something you didn’t even know would happen?”

You rolled your eyes, “Shut up, Jiyong.”

He laughed, “So who’s going to be dropping out of this competition first?”

“It sure as hell isn’t going to be me.” You replied, scanning the words printed on the page. You honestly didn’t feel tired at all; you were used to being up half of the night.

“I must admit, you’re tough competition. How about you put that book down for a few minutes and we can chat.”

“I’m getting to the exciting bit though.” You whined, not looking up from your book.

You heard Jiyong shuffle on the sofa to sit behind you on the floor. He pulled your hair from being tucked into your jumper and began to brush it through his fingers.

“Nothing is more exciting than me, Y/N.” He mumbled, pulling it back and holding it up into a ponytail with his hands.

A tingle ran down your spine and you began to get goosebumps as the man you liked was playing with you hair. It was something so innocent, yet it made you feel so intensely happy. As you pretended to read on in your book, Jiyong plaited your hair, twizzled it around his fingers, did everything that made you feel like a giggly teenage girl inside.

“You don’t mind me doing this, do you?” He whispered ever so close to your ear. So close that you could feel his breath on your neck.

“A-Ah, no.” You managed to stutter, the hair on said area standing straight up.

“Really?” He asked, craning his head round a little more to look at your face, “You really are burning up.”

“Jiyong, I’m fine.” You said, swatting away his face while you continued your ‘reading’.

You heard a cocky chuckle from beside you, before he backed up and shuffled back over, “Sit up here while you read.”

Huffing, you pushed yourself up, “It’s like three AM, why are you making me do such tiring things? Are you trying to wear me out so you can win the game? That’s cheating.”

“Would I ever do that to you? We’re friends, Y/N, I play fair with friends.” You could hear the smirk in his voice as this somewhat arrogant Jiyong had just arrived, “Let’s play a game. The one where we add a word at a time, okay?”

Still you didn’t reply, as your eyes were firmly fixed on the book. You couldn’t look up at him because you knew your face was bright red. You felt it. However, in moments the book disappeared from your hands.

“What th-” You began, but was cut off by Jiyong’s face millimetres from yours.

“Okay?”

Your breath had been stolen from you, but you managed to exhale a “Yes.” that caused Jiyong to smile and sit back where he was previously.

“Alright, I’ll start. Jiyong.” He began, a grin plastered on his face.

Rolling your eyes, you chose your next word, “Is.”

“So.”

“Stupid.” You replied, narrowing your eyes at him.

His silly smile turned into a pout, “Y/N, you were meant to say handsome or something.”

“Why would I lie?”

“Come on, you’re the cute one of the group, I’m the handsome one, it’s just how it is.” Jiyong commented, crossing his arms over his chest before turning away from you.

“Kwon Jiyong, stop saying stupid things like that. Yumi is clearly the cute one.” You huffed. You swore your eyes must have rolled in that single night more than they had in your entire life.

“You’re obviously the cute one because why would the most handsome guy in the group like you otherwise? You look cute, you act like the most adorable person ever, although I must say you clearly get into a mood when you’re tired. It’s obviously you, you idiot!” Jiyong yelled, his eyes wide as he stared at you afterwards, the room becoming thick with silence.

“Y-You what now?” You managed to stutter, the breath completely taken away from you once again.

“You. I like you.” He answered, his expression softening, “Do you like me?”

You didn’t even have to think about the answer to that question. Of course you liked him, it was just being able to spit it out that was the problem.

“Shall I take your silence as a yes or?” Jiyong chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.

Instead of using words to answer his question, your head unconsciously began to nod up and down.

“Good.” He stood with a daft smile on his face, walking towards his bedroom door, “It’s getting late, you win.”

Too Late {Part 2}

“I don’t like you anymore. I don’t see a point in dating someone I got bored of. Let’s just break up.”

Part 1

Pairing: Monsta X Minhyuk x Reader
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 4.7k
A/N: It took me way too long to post this ^^’ But finally, here is the sequel to part 1 of Too Late. Hopefully I’ll be able to wrap up the story in part 3, but who knows where this is taking me~

That night when Minhyuk’s mother found me, I could not get even a wink of sleep. I was tossing and turning in my bed so many times that I lost count. A few hours earlier, she had asked me to break up with her son because I was not a good match for him. She knew about my family’s terrible financial situation and my mother’s deteriorating health, so she had offered me enough money to pay for a heart surgery which my mother needed to live. Truth be told, although I loved Minhyuk with all my heart and felt like I could not go on without him, my family played an equally important part in my life. Knowing that I could potentially save my mom from the jaws of death by leaving Minhyuk made the decision so much harder.

My body was hurting as if I had fallen out of the window of my apartment on the fourth floor, the inside of my head felt as if tiny men were tearing down my skull with hammers and chisels and so many tears had fallen that I could turn the desert into a fertile place, but yet I was unable to drift into the comforting arms of sleep.

That night, I was not only thinking about Minyuk’s mother’s request. Innumerable moments I had spent with Minhyuk played in my head like random scenes in a movie. Could I really give up everything we had been through? The secrets we shared, the promises we made? The thought that I would see him tomorrow at school made me feel sick, and I was contemplating whether I should skip classes. But I knew that I would receive worried text messages and numerous calls from him if I did not show up, and hearing his concerned voice would only make the situation so much worse. Since it was only a waste of time to lie awake in bed, I got up extra early to avoid running into Minhyuk at the school gate. I felt relieved and miserable at the same time when I was not greeted by his familiar smile in the morning.

I regretted my decision to come to school as soon as I entered my class room. Jangmi, my best friend who I had known since elementary school, always arrived early to review class material, and of course she was more than surprised that I had shown up so early. I was sure she had already spotted the dark circles under my eyes and knew that something wasn’t right.

“Hey, Y/N! How come you are so early today?” The questioning look in her eyes was hard to resist, and I had to pull myself together not to break into tears right there and then and tell her all about last night. But I knew that she could not help me and that only I could solve the difficult and confusing situation I was in.

“Nothing,” I lied, a crooked smile on my face. Please, don’t ask more questions, Jangmi. Just leave me alone.

To my surprise, Jangmi really only raised her eyebrows in suspicion but left it there. I sank down onto my chair, grabbed a notebook from my backpack and tried to distract myself by reading the notes from yesterday’s class. Of course, it didn’t work that well. It was hard to concentrate, especially once class started and I had to pretend to follow the teacher’s words. My thoughts constantly strayed away, going back and forth between Minhyuk, his mother and my parents.

I had been so lost in thoughts that the sound of the school bell made me wince. A wave of dread washed over my head when I realized that it was time for lunch break - I certainly wouldn’t be able to avoid Minhyuk in the school cafeteria. Nevertheless, I wanted to try.

“Hey, Jangmi, can we grab lunch together today? There is this Math question I don’t understand, and I wanted to ask if you could maybe explain it to me one more time?”

“Sure, but don’t you usually eat together with Minhyuk? I am sure he can explain it to you too.”

“No!” I hastily replied. “Um… he told me to ask you next time. He doesn’t like to talk about Math during lunch, but I really need to know the answer.” Jangmi gave me an even more puzzled look, not sure whether or not she should trust my words.

“…Fine. I’ll take my notes with me. Let’s go.”

——————————–

“…and after you plug in the value of x here, you simply use this formula to solve the equation and you’ll get the result. Quite easy, isn’t it?”

I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry at Jangmi’s words because I had only understood about half of what she was saying. I definitely had to study harder if I wanted to get a good grade on my next exam. Just when I wanted to ask her to explain part of the exercise again, someone very familiar plopped down onto the seat opposite me and my best friend. Of course, it was no other than Minhyuk. He had never been good at hiding his emotions, and I could immediately tell that he was confused and… upset.

“Y/N, I was looking for you all morning. Why weren’t you at the school gate like usually?”

“Ah, d-did I forget to tell you? I wanted to come early to study. You know, now that midterms are coming up, I need to work harder.” The look on his face transformed into one of disappointment. Of course he understood how important school work was (although he did not know that school work was not the reason why I came to school early today), but it was definitely not okay to stand him up because I forgot to tell him.

“It’s alright. …Just don’t forget next time.” There was no smile or warm expression on his face, and I could tell that he was hurt by the fact that I had forgotten about him so easily. Although Jangmi pretended to study her notes, I could tell that she was following our conversation with interest. I knew I had a lot of explaining to do afterwards. Minhyuk also was not satisfied with my excuse.

“By the way, what about lunch? Can I eat with you two, or should I look for other friends?”

“I asked Jangmi to explain this Math question to me. I really need to catch up on the class material. Do you mind looking for a different table?”

I almost squirmed under Minhyuk’s gaze: his eyes were boring right into mine, and I felt terrible for being the person who hurt him. I am sure he would forget about it quickly and give me his signature smile that made every worry fly away if I just apologized. But I couldn’t, not this time. He had never liked being rejected, but hearing me tell him to go away probably left him even more worried.

“What was that?” This time, it was Jangmi’s eyes scanning me. She knew me well enough to figure out that I had been lying to her, and I couldn’t keep her in the dark forever. But right now was not the time to pour out my worries to Jangmi, not when even I did not know how to deal with my dilemma.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it. Can we continue where we left off?”

“Come on, Y/N, I am not stupid. Everyone knows you and Minhyuk are the picture-book couple. You barely fight, you always hang out together, you support each other, and, most importantly, you are honest to each other. What has gotten into you? Did something happen yesterday after karaoke?” Her voice was not angry; instead, it was full of concern. All she wanted to do was to help me, but it only made me feel worse. I did not want to drag her into my relationship problems as well. And what I needed least right now was an argument with my best friend.

“I appreciate your concern, I really do, but I don’t want to talk about it right now. Can we… can we just focus on Math?” The pleading tone in my voice was probably what convinced her to comply and drop the topic. I felt how tears started to collect in the corners of my eyes, but I tried my best to contain them and not show weakness in front of Jangmi.

“…alright. But if you ever change your mind and want to talk about it, you know that I am here for you. I always will be.” And in that moment, when I saw Jangmi’s honest, encouraging smile, I felt that no matter what my decision was going to be, I was not completely alone in this world.

——–

I successfully managed to avoid Minhyuk for the rest of the day. I actually did not have to do much; Minhyuk was still sulky from our conversation during lunch break, and although I felt like the most terrible and selfish human being on Earth, it was probably the best for us to not see each other. And since it was going to be the weekend tomorrow, I did not need to worry about facing him the next two days either.

That same evening, I received a text message from Minhyuk. 

[ Minhyuk ♥, 6:27pm: Hello most beautiful human being~ Wanna do something fun this weekend? Plz don’t say no again, I really want to see you! :( ]

Since he asked if we could do something together this weekend, I knew he had already decided to forget about the instance at school. Given that he still texted me, I concluded that his mother had not threatened him to break up with me yet. Or if she did, he did not seem to care. But could I allow myself not to care either?

When I came home from school, there was nobody greeting me at the front door. I took off my shoes, dropped my backpack and went straight to the kitchen to get two cups of water. I opened the small cupboard, took out two transparent cups and poured the refreshing liquid into the containers. I opened another drawer and took out some medicine, two round pills to be exact, which I put into one of the cups. Then, I went to my parents’ bedroom.

Although my mother was strong enough to walk and do some chores here and there, she usually took a nap in the late afternoon to have more energy when my dad and I came back from work and school in the evening. Since she was nowhere to be seen when I had entered our apartment, I knew that she must still be sleeping. I carried the two cups of water to her bedroom, quietly opened the door with my elbow and tiptoed inside. Great, I did not wake her up. I carefully made my way over to her side of the bed and put down the water with medicine on her night stand.

Despite her disease, my mother was a beautiful woman. Although she had lost hair, the remaining strands were long and silky. She had lost a lot of weight too, but I had to admit that even with sunken cheeks und harder features, she looked confident and pretty. I always jokingly complained to her that I was not as beautiful as she was and that she could have given me more of her genes when I was still a fetus in her belly. My mom always laughed these comments off and said that there was no human being prettier than me. I could not imagine a world without her positive, bright existence.

I must have stared at her for a little too long, because she opened her eyes and looked at me from under her lush blanket of eyelashes. As soon as she noticed me, a faint smile appeared on her face.

“My dear Y/N, welcome home. I am sorry that I did not hear you when you came in. I must have been very tired.” Her voice was weak and heavy from sleep. I didn’t understand why she was apologetic when there was no reason to be. After all, she needed to rest if she wanted to get better, or at least if she did not want her condition to worsen.

“Don’t say that, mom. You know I don’t mind. Here, I brought you water. I put your medicine in it too.”

“Thank you, my love. Why don’t you sit down next to me, and we can talk for a little while. I know you are probably busy with homework or want to go out, but let me have you for just a few minutes, okay?”

I gave her her drink and did as she said. I hated when she felt like she was a drag to me. She never was. It was true that there were things I needed to do, but her presence always calmed me and reminded me that there were more important things in life than school, work, success and money. However, this time, talking to her reminded me that all these things probably mattered more than I had wanted to admit before. Without money, my time with her was limited.

That evening, I stayed by her side longer than I usually did. We talked for a very long time, and when it got late, I helped her prepare dinner. My dad usually did not come home before 10pm. He worked as an electrician for a tiny business, and because he could not afford to lose the job or work less hours, my dad did not have a choice but stay until there were no more orders for him. The hard work and lack of money had turned him into a quiet man, but although he did not talk much, he always showed us how much he enjoyed being with my mom and me. He had the habit of nodding his head whenever he was happy about something, and usually it was at the dinner table when he nodded the most often. He always asked how our days had been, and although our responses were often routine, we could tell that he was genuinely interested in our wellbeing.

My mother must have sensed that I was in a contemplative mood all day, because when I helped her wash the dishes after dinner, the tone in her voice was serious. “There is something I wanted to tell you, Y/N. Your father and I see how hard you work every day to help us out as much as you can. On top of that, you have school work every day and even on weekends you barely go out, just to assist your father at work or me at home. We both really appreciate it, but you should also think about yourself sometimes. Go out and have fun, meet friends, date boys if you want, and do what young girls usually do. I know we don’t have a lot of money, but that doesn’t mean you have to deny everything that is refreshing. I want you to be happy, too. Promise me that you will follow your heart, and not just act on what reason tells you. Sure, that is important, but following your heart will always guide you in the right direction. Okay?”

My mother was always right. All day and night I had racked my brain over what choice to make, and in this moment I knew my decision. Like my mother said, I would follow my heart and protect the human I loved so much. With a smile on my face, I replied: “Thanks, mom.”

When I went back to my room, I plopped down onto my bed, a sudden wave of exhaustion washing over me. Finally the sleepless night and continuous worrying made themselves felt. I pulled my phone out of my backpack and finally took the time to answer Minhyuk’s text message from earlier. 

[Y/N, 11:54pm: Sure, I also want to see you this weekend. Let’s meet at our usual spot on Sunday night. OK?]

I didn’t even wait for his reply; I knew he would agree. I managed to put on my pajamas, and immediately fell back onto my bed. Before I fell into the comforting arms of sleep, I captured a last glimpse of the teardrop-shaped earrings Minhyuk had given me the day before as a present for our half year anniversary, and which I had put behind the lamp next to my bed, hidden from the view of my parents. A smile appeared on my face, and only seconds later I drifted into the land of dreams.

——–

Why am I so nervous? I had gone over the words which I was about to say countless times; they were burnt into my memory like a mantra. I knew exactly what was about to come and what I was here for. I had prepared myself for this moment many times over the last two days. But although I had memorized my part, I could not fight the emotions deep inside me, and I feared that they would take over like an unleashed beast anytime.

I let my gaze wander over the beautiful spring night scenery. To my right, the Han River was shining in the last glow of dusk while a soft breeze was painting small waves on the water’s surface. On the other side of the river, the capital’s skyline was presenting itself in its most magnificent form: thousands of tiny dots of light brightened the darkening sky, substituting the stars which could not be spotted on the firmament.

I was waiting for Minhyuk at our usual spot near a street food stand in one of Seoul’s many parks. We had had our first meal as a couple here, and ever since, this place had held something special for the both of us. When we went on dates, Minhyuk and I would usually meet up here and head to wherever we had planned to go.

I had been waiting for Minhyuk for a few minutes now. It was not that he was late, he never was. But my nerves had gotten the better of me, and I had arrived early. But after a few more moments of waiting, I could spot the person I had been anticipating to see all weekend. When I waved at him, Minhyuk quickly made his way over to me. Instead of greeting me, he just put his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. His grip around my waist was strong and determined, and I knew that I would always be protected and safe in his embrace. He finally let go of me and looked into my eyes, giving me one of his angelic smiles.

“I thought I would be early tonight, but it seems like you got here even earlier. I hope I did not make you wait too long.” I shook my head and he continued, “Where do you want to go tonight? I found this nice spot not too far from here, they play music there and let in people under 19 too. I heard they have a special program tonight, so I thought we should check it out. Or do you have something else in mind?” I smiled at his excitement; of course, anything related to music would catch his interest.

“Actually, there is something I’d like to talk to you about. Do you mind just… walking with me?”

“Anything for my princess,” Minhyuk said with a playful wink. When he tried to take my hand, I instantly hid my hands in the pockets of my jacket, pretending to be too cold to leave them outside. He did not question my action, and so we started to make our way along the river, with no specific destination in mind. Minhyuk, noticing my quiet attitude, started to talk about this and that, trying to find a topic that would catch my interest and make me more talkative. I only listened with one ear, nodding my head every now and then, and forcing a smile whenever he made a joke. At some point, I couldn’t take his attempts at making conversation anymore; of course he would not succeed even if he tried hard. Today, there was only one thing I wanted to talk about.

“Hey, Minhyuk, listen… There is a reason why I wanted to meet you here today.” I was surprised at how calm my voice sounded. Inside of me, I could feel an inferno of emotions burn my guts like a wolf that hadn’t eaten meat in days. Looking at the man in front of me did not help: his puppy eyes made my heart grow softer, and the way he looked at me so lovingly made me reconsider what I was about to do for a second. But I had to do this like I had planned, or Minhyuk would be even more hurt in the future. I took a deep breath before speaking the words I had practiced in my head so many times.

“Minhyuk… Maybe… Maybe it would be better if we ended our relationship.” Minhyuk stared at me with wide eyes. He had expected to hear anything, anything but this. “With all the college entrance exams coming up, I need to study harder to perform well. I don’t think I have time for… us anymore.” Lies. All lies.

A worried frown appeared on Minhyuk’s face. He could tell from the tone of my voice that I was not joking, but he did not want to believe that this was the reason to end everything we had together. “Listen, Y/N, I understand that academic performance is important to you, but don’t you want to reconsider what you just said? You did well the last few months, and if you really think our relationship is going to become a problem, we can find a solution together. We could meet up less often, or study whenever we are together. College entrance exams will be hard, but we can get through it together. Please, Y/N, don’t do this.”

From the way he clenched his fingers and bit his lower lip I could tell that Minhyuk was very tense. All I wanted to do was to say, Yes, you are right, we can overcome anything together, but I knew we couldn’t. He didn’t know about his mother’s offer, and he didn’t know that I was completely in her clutches. My heart started to beat faster in my chest, and it took all of my self-control to say the words that would break Minhyuk’s heart.

“You did not let me finish. Exams are not the only reason why I think our relationship shouldn’t continue. I don’t like you anymore. I don’t see a point in dating someone I got bored of. Let’s just break up.”

I was about to turn around and walk away so that Minhyuk would not see the tears that started to collect in the corners of my eyes, but I was stopped by Minhyuk who reached for my wrist and held it in his strong grip. When I turned around to face him, I was met with a hurt but fierce look on his face.

“Then did our relationship mean nothing to you? All the laughs, all the promises, and our kiss… were they all show? Tell me, I need to know. Were you lying to me the entire time?”

No, I love you more than you could ever imagine, I am lying right now, don’t believe any word that I just said. I love you, Minhyuk

“Yes, Lee Minhyuk. It was just pretense.” I would never forget the painful look in his eyes when he let go off my wrist and stared at me in silence.

“Ah, before I forget,” I mumbled, more to distract myself from the desperation washing over me. I took out the small pink box with the golden ribbon Minhyuk had given me only days ago. Inside were the two teardrop-shaped earrings Minhyuk had given me as a present for our six months anniversary. With a last look at the tiny box, I shoved it into Minhyuk’s hands.

“I won’t need this anymore. Sorry that you had to go through the trouble of getting this, I hope you can still return them.”

I was not able to hold back the sadness threatening to devour me anymore, and without another look at him I walked away from the man who I loved so much. Tears were streaming down my face, like so many times in the last few days, and all I could hear was the blood roaring in my ears. When I thought that I was far away enough from Minhyuk, I broke into a run and let out the loud sobs I had held back for such a long time. I hated myself for feeling so weak, I hated Somin, my jealous classmate who had told Minhyuk’s mother about our relationship, for revealing my secret, and I hated the world for being so unfair. I ignored the stares of people stopping on the street to watch me curiously, and only when the stitch in my side became too unbearable and I was gasping for breath did I stop running.

I realized that I had run out of the park and away from the river, but I had not been able to outrun the miserable feeling of lying to and breaking up with the most important man in my life. I slumped into the next best bench I found and closed my eyes, trying to calm my breath and thoughts. When I came to my senses again, if that was even possible right now, I pulled out my phone and the business card Minhyuk’s mother had entrusted me with a few days ago. My hands were shaking when I entered her phone number, and only after three attempts did I get it right. I dreaded to hear the voice on the other end, but I was determined to get what she had promised me.

“Miss Lee, this is Y/N. I fulfilled my part of the deal.”

Content to hear these words, Minhyuk’s mother’s response was gleeful. “Very good. You are such an obedient girl, I like that. I shall keep my promise and let someone deliver the money to your apartment tomorrow. But first, I will confirm the truth of your statement tonight when my son comes home. Good night, Y/N.”

Now that my part was complete and nothing remained that could distract me from the pain in my chest, I let myself fall into the dark hole of sadness and hopelessness. I pulled my legs up to my chest and buried my face in my knees, trying to mute the broken sobs that escaped my lips. My entire body was shaking, and I clenched my hands in the hope that I could squash the feeling of absolute helplessness which consumed me more with every second. What had I done wrong to deserve such a punishment? Was it wrong to love someone with all my heart?

To passers-by, I simply looked like a heartbroken little girl, nothing they had never seen before. Although I was in one of the busiest and liveliest cities in the world, I could not have felt lonelier right now. 

Suddenly, after what felt like an eternity of crying, I felt a warm, comforting hand on my cold shoulder. When I looked up to the person who had stopped to check on me, it took my eyes a while to see clearly through all the tears in my eyes and notice an elderly woman with a perm and sympathetic smile on her face . I wiped the tears from my eyes, and I could only imagine how much of a mess I must look like right now. But I couldn’t care less. The woman’s voice was calm and sympathetic when she spoke to me.

“I don’t know what happened to you, but don’t despair yet. I know it does not make sense now, but you will heal eventually. Pain passes, and it will only make you stronger. Remember that after ever storm, no matter how severe, there will be sun and warmth again. Take care of yourself.”

Those words were all she left me with, and although I felt that despair had already gripped me like a tenacious vortex, I truly wished that what she said would prove right.