what if i am queer

anonymous asked:

I'm a health and beauty clerk at a supermarket, an old man asked me to show him where the eye wipes are. I asked if they were for removing makeup or treating eye infections since theyre in different aisles. He responds "Oh no not for makeup, I'm not a queer." Guess what buddy, I am!!!

Please, call me Queer.

Tonight I was on the receiving end of something rather hurtful that we talk about on Tumblr a lot: erasure.


Someone in a group chat I was in decided the acronym should be LGBTIA+, and was offering pride icons to the group. I said “I’m not any of those, I’m the Q,” and was told how they personally find that word uncomfortable so they left it out and used a plus sign instead.


Let me repeat that: my identity, the thing I have called myself since 2008, made them “uncomfortable,” so they just straight up removed it from the acronym and represented me with a goddamn plus sign.


So I’m done.


Don’t call me lesbian .Don’t call me wlw. CALL ME QUEER, IT’S WHAT I AM. Straight people, this goes for you too. You have my personal, this-directly-affects-me permission to call me Queer. My personal, this-directly-affects-me request, in fact. If you aren’t sure, the correct usage is the same format as any other part of the acronym: “Nina is Queer,” “Nina is a Queer woman,” “are you Queer?” I don’t really care personally if you capitalize it in casual use, but in official use I’ve never seen it uncapitalized (probably to differentiate it from the “well, isn’t that queer” usage).


PLEASE DO NOT LET A FEW SALTY TERFS PARROTING Q-SLUR BULLSHIT DESTROY MY IDENTITY. Queer is hated among that subset because it isn’t just a personal identity–it is a warm and welcoming umbrella that includes aces, trans folks, and nonbinary people. Not sure what you want to call yourself? It’s okay, the Queer community is still here for you. They HATE that and they’re trying to tear it down.


A final note: if you tag this post as “q slur,” you’re going to find yourself blocked in very short order. MY IDENTITY IS NOT A SLUR AND I REFUSE TO SEE IT TREATED THAT WAY ANY LONGER.

Sometimes it really sucks being Asexual…because even if I want to out myself as Queer to someone, I have to be braced for the inevitable questions and explanations about what Asexuality is, and how no, I’m not just waiting for the right person, and no, I’m not broken (even though a lot of the time I feel like I am…) and any time the possibility of a relationship (rarely) presents itself, that conversation hangs over my head…and some people can be so cruel

anonymous asked:

What did you mean about the cishets wanting to be part of the community?

have you ever seen those ppl that are like, “why should only gay/bi/trans/etc love and lgbtqa be celebrated at pride??? I’m 100% straightcis in every way but my love is beautiful too!!!” that is what I was referring to in the post

it’s also annoying when someone is like “I’m straight but I’m also a sapiosexual demisexual deoxyribonucleicacidsexual, I only want to have sex with smart ppl after I get to know them and also I have a DNA fetish, so I’m queer too” which is just silly, like it’s cool that we have words to describe different experiences but not all of those experiences are inherently “queer,” queerness implies a certain level of persecution beyond “other people may or may not think it’s kinda weird”

I knew I was definitely queer when I was in sixth grade. Like so many queer kids, I negotiated about it with myself for a while–I was probably going to marry a man anyway, I wanted a family and 2.5 kids and a dog, I was dead certain I was going to grow up pretty enough to get those things on my terms despite living in a sexist world (HOO boy I was wrong on that one), I didn’t NEED to be out, living a lie was fine, I didn’t want to get discriminated against and I knew damn well in my town it would happen, I’d be a more credible activist for queer rights if I wasn’t one (yes, as a 12 year old I was already aware that people who WERE something were immediately seen as untrustworthy sources of information ABOUT the thing)–but in the end, it was just too big a part of me to keep a lid on. I mentioned it on my website, a boy from school I had a crush on found my website and told everyone, and after that I went from “sort of half ashamed” to “fuck ALL Y'ALL FUCKERS” pretty quickly.

I’ve been out since seventh grade. Twenty years ago now. Those first five years were absolute hell. Threats, got spat on, followed. In front of teachers. It fucking kills me that there are kids now who think the word queer is some sort of irredeemable slur forever and ever just because some assholes used it as an insult.

Don’t you get it? There is no word for what we are that they won’t use as an insult, because to them, what we are is wrong. Queer, homo, homosexual, lesbian, dyke, all the words we have for ourselves and each other are words they’re going to throw in our teeth.

You’ve never been chased down a flight of stairs by someone shouting “Look at the little lesbian run! Look at it! Run, lesbian, run!” but I have. And let me tell you, context is EVERYTHING when it comes to what’s a slur, what’s a threat, versus what’s an affectionate descriptor we use among ourselves. You cannot divorce the word “queer” from the context of THAT SPECIFIC USE. Am I calling myself queer in conversation with a friend, or is it being shrieked at me on a bus when I’m sixteen because I shaved my head? Totally different situations. The homophobes don’t get to own that word. They can put their grabby little mitts all over it all they want to, but it is still MINE, too. What I am is not an insult.

You can’t rebrand queerness and suddenly have all the heteros going “oh my bad you deserved rights all along!” You can’t throw me under the bus to curry favor with them because they still KNOW you’re a dirty filthy whatever the word you wanted to replace “queer” with was.

I use “queer” because it’s a lot faster than saying “about 70% of my attractions are to women but I’m also attracted to men some of the time and there’s a lot more men who want to bang women than women who want to bang women, and I haven’t dated trans people but I’ve certainly found them attractive whether or not they identified within the gender binary, and I could call myself bisexual or pansexual, but I usually go with bisexual because it has a long history and that’s how I first identified back when I was 13 and no one even said the word transgender or nonbinary” and also it makes homophobes SO uncomfortable it’s frankly deeply satisfying to watch them try to steer me away from using it.

Twenty years. I’m still here, still queer, still belligerent.

anonymous asked:

I don't understand why Brian has to have an open relationship why can't he just commit to Justin ??

BEING 👏 MONOGAMOUS 👏 IS 👏 NOT 👏 THE 👏 SAME 👏 THING 👏 AS 👏 BEING 👏 COMMITTED. 👏

BEING 👏 COMMITTED 👏 DOES 👏 NOT 👏 MEAN 👏 YOU 👏 MUST 👏 BE 👏MONOGAMOUS. 👏

I’d like to be
Rainbow splattered;
I’d like to be
In love like that,
The love they talk about,
It’s just,
Maybe it’s not
For me.
I’m not sure
How deep this emptiness runs.
I’d like to be
In love like that
Like poetry
Or kisses or hugs or
Even just hand holding!
I’d like to be
Somebody who
Could love innately,
Love like she
Was born to love.
I used to dream
Of husbands,
Until I let myself
Dream of other partners
And I thought
That might make me
Want it.
Do I want it?
God I want it.
I’m lonely in
The worst way.
Is it just me?
I’d like to date
A boy
Or a girl
Or somebody
In between-
But it hurts. I could never
Let somebody have me
So fully,
Even if I wanted to.

2

Because You’ll Never Meet Me by Leah Thomas

Oliver, what if people apart from you could see me as something, someone, deserving of happiness? Not as a hero, mind. Just as “any other boy.”

The idea frightens me. Coward that I am. Me, born of science and ambition gone wrong. I felt that wrongness every day, until you wrote to me. Until you infected me with wondrous, hopeful nonsense.

Frau Pruwitt has given me a book about a certain blind superhero. And now I am feeling something other than despicable.

What have you done to me, Oliver Paulot?

I am bisexual and I know it doesn’t mean anything but since I’m only talking to guys rn I feel like people won’t recognize my sexuality. Lots of heteronormativity. I can’t go to pride this year in my city because I’m in my cousin’s wedding. I also don’t like saying “bisexual” even though I know that’s what I am. I really like “queer” and, of course, the default “gay”. But whenever I say “gay” people are like “I thought you were bisexual???” Like okay yes but I’d rather not get the questions about threesomes and all that, thanks.