I hate that his hold on me is still strong I still want a friendship exactly like what we had, and I look for it constantly and it stresses me out. I hate that because of him I have a hard time trusting people. I crave the closeness I once had though. It is a constant back and forth, that kills me. I hate that none of my friends understand. Or that I can barely explain it well enough to make them understand.
Every time things start to be going good. I am reminded of all the issues I still face.