what i should be doing now


translated by @maksisskambackwards and @linneaxskam and me :) 

Host: Hi.  How is it to be Carl Martin and not Eskild?

Carl Martin: The answer to that is that I’ve been Carl Martin my whole life so that’s not a problem at all.

Host: You’re nailing this.

Carl Martin: I’m nailing it.

Host: Fuck (fadern is not as bad as fuck tho, so like a soft fuck), we’re gonna miss Eskild.

CM: Yes, me too.

Host: What’s your hope and dreams for Eskild?

CM: I hope he dies now with Skam and gets a future in the fan’s fantasy. I think that Eskild should get to rest in peace as the guru he is.

Keep reading

“Even you hideous off-color Betas!”

Now that we know what “off-color” means that statement actually becomes worse. 

Which is saying something considering that Holly Blue’s enitre deal was telling the Famethyst how useless they were and how grateful they should be that Blue Diamond keeps them around. 

“It’s the least you can do for the Diamond that kept you worthless, sorry Gems in service!”

But her calling the Beta’s off-colors adds another layer to that. Holly Blue is literally telling them that they are so worthless that they would be shattered if not for Blue Diamond keeping them. 

That’s abuse. Plain and simple.  

And remember how scared Jasper briefly was of Amethyst’s whip before steeling herself in order to take whatever Amethyst was going to do? 

Only conclusion here is that Jasper had or has an Agate supervisor. And that would mean that “off-color” is something that Jasper has been told in her life.

“I got out because I’m better than this place.” 

Sounds like a really arrogant statement, doesn’t it? Except it isn’t. This is what Jasper has been telling herself. She believes in Homeworld’s ideology and she is a Beta gem. 

An Agate terrifies indeed. 

unamedwatcher  asked:

Are there any fics where Steve absolutely FAILS to recognize that Bucky is flirting with him? And not in a "ha ha, he's just being friendly, he doesn't really want ME" way. But like he 100% does not recognize what's going on as attempted foreplay. Like: "If you were my dame, I'd put you over my knee and spank you." ;) "Bucky, no. Don't hit women." >:[ Like the scene in The First Avenger where he goes, "I don't think all of them were married." when the secretary hits on him after the rescue.

you should check our oblivious steve tag :D

Lemon Meringue Lies by Nejinee (WIP)

Being a server at a high-end restaurant is working out well for Steve. All he has to do now is convince Bucky he’s good enough to work as chef in the same restaurant. Steve’s determined to prove to his best friend that all Bucky’s talent and passion for food is worth something.

He’s going to make it happen, even if he has to omit a few solid truths to get it done.

Meanwhile, Bucky has his own issues to deal with. Namely: trying his damndest to dig them out of poverty, make sure Steve’s health is on the up and up, and not acknowledging his very longstanding desire for his best friend that is slowly eating him up inside.

A story about food, compassion and stubborn idiots in love.

Buy Me A Coffee by going_slightly_mads (Sanashiya)

Bucky works at Café Plum, where strangers can buy online coffees to just about anyone. When a Greek god named Steve Rogers shows up one day and then disappears before even giving him his phone number, Bucky has only one solution: buy him a coffee online to get him to come back.

Tinfoil Hat (or Bucky Barnes Vs. The Pigeon Uprising) by GoodbyeBlues

Based on the Tumblr prompt ‘I went to water my plants on the balcony and you’re on yours with a tinfoil hat, what the hell are you doing AU.’

If You Let Me by lillupon

Steve always thought it was silly how easily girls fell for Bucky, even though they must have known he would only break their hearts. Told himself that he would require more than a few sweet words and a cocky grin. But thinking that while watching Bucky charm his way into a girl’s bed for the night is completely different from being on the receiving end of it.

Bucky teaches Steve how to flirt.

somethingofavoid  asked:

could you point me in the direction of the evidence that alexander the great was a bottom? I absolutely don't doubt it's true but I've never seen anyone say otherwise so I figure there's some proof of some sort I'm missing, but couldn't find anything myself

you didn’t find anything because there is no proof, and in fact, the sources tell us the precise opposite. so why did i say he bottomed in my joke post? let’s get into it.

A (SIMPLIFIED) PRIMER: in ancient old mediterranean times it didn’t matter if you were a man who boned men or women – you should probs do both – but what mattered VERY much was whether you topped or bottomed. are you old enough to have a beard? now you’re too old to bottom. pederasty was the name of the game in the south (think athens) especially. if macedon followed these same sexual mores, we can’t be sure, tho they were likely similar. 

now that you know this, take note that hephaestion was actually older than alexander, taller, and more masculine and impressive-looking. according to the above – that’s called the dover model – it should be a given that hephaestion topped, right? or that they didn’t have a relationship at all, considering they were so close in age, and the dover model mandates a big age difference. then why do i have in my pocket two handy examples of hephaestion being identified not only as the bottom but as younger than alexander? observe:

• justin refers to hephaestion as “puer” (”boy” but with connotations in this context of “young pretty bottom boy”) 
• arrian refers to hephaestion as alexander’s “ἐρώμενος” (i.e. alexander’s beardless younger bottom) 

weird, right? we could take this at face value, discounting all that we factually know about hephaestion, or we could take a look at how romans of the late republic/early principate – when these biographies were penned – viewed sexuality in their own society, and how that may have influenced the way they interpreted alexander and hephaestion.

late republic/early principate sexual mores were a bit different from classical greek mores in that, simplified version, the socially superior partner had to top, and the supremely socially inferior – like a slave or a woman – was to bottom. hephaestion was second man in the empire with a massive presence in court; importantly, he was free-born. if alexander and hephaestion had a sexual relationship, which the roman biographers were fairly certain they did, that meant to the romans that hephaestion was either sleeping his way to the top (a common late republic sentiment – cicero used it against antony, like, hourly) which is very not befitting for, you know, the top general in the empire, or – worse – that alexander was a tyrant who was raping his second in command, and hephaestion wasn’t man enough to fight back against it. yikes. even worse option than that to the romans? alexander, king of kings, was taking the d from someone below his status. no matter what the evidence said – like hephaestion’s age and physicality and what we know about alexander’s personality, which i’ll get to in a minute – that was literally unthinkable. 

so the principate biographers lied. yep. in order to better mould hephaestion to their worldview, some bent the history so that hephaestion was younger and prettier (justin), or just plain unimportant enough that being alexander’s ἐρώμενος was socially acceptable (arrian). some laid into the nepotism angle even if they didn’t explicitly state fucking as the cause of it (plutarch). 

take-home message? history is malleable: like a memory, it never remains whole and accurate. the more often we pull it from the shelf, the more often it gets rewritten. 

idk, oprah. proof isn’t a thing that really exists for this period. but now that we know the roman histories are sometimes fake news, here’s some stuff supporting alexander bottoming: 

good evidence: historiography & the dover model

• what the romans had to say about hephaestion and alexander’s relationship is lowkey lies, so even tho we can’t definitively say hephaestion topped, we know that pretty much all evidence that hephaestion bottomed is not legitimate. that means the opposite could be true.

• alexander was younger than hephaestion, infamously remained beardless, and was physically smaller, which means that if macedonians followed southern sexual mores, and if alexander and hephaestion in particular even cared about bringing social politics into the bedroom (see how many variables?) then alexander would’ve bottomed 

pretty okay evidence: character extrapolation 

• i’ve had a prof bring up in class the fact that alexander was too soft for his parents, who worried he was effeminate, which we can safely interpret as “worried he was a bottom” – playing the lyre, not wanting to get it on with anyone in a way befitting a red-blooded macedonian guy, sleeping with the iliad under his pillow, other assorted twink activities. from his annoying high-pitched voice to the fact that he started dressing persian – seen as effeminate to macedonians – it’s pretty much accepted that he was an effeminate dude in his day. not conclusive, definitely problematic as being indicative of sexual position preference, but it is an argument i have seen.

not-really evidence but a component relevant to our discussion of the insidious crawl of unintentional historiography: 

• mary renault ran amok with the bottom/top thing in her books and made alexander finally topping and becoming a “man” into a whole arc in the persian boy, and it’s a fairly pervasive narrative in historical fiction that he’s a somewhat effeminate bottom. this isn’t historical evidence, but it shows how the narrative shifts – this interpretation, so widely distributed in fiction, is now undeniably present in our shared consciousness. (my joke post, which was geared toward an audience of like literally one person, was more about this.)

a final note is that people are just people, and we tend to forget that when we get so caught up in how fun it is to study ancient cultures. but at the end of the day, no matter the mores of their location and period, people are gonna fuck how they want, where they want, who they want, and when they want. like any other pair of young guys getting it on, i’d bet you ten bucks, realistically, that they switched. 

(source 1)
(source 2

daehwi is a CHILD. what kind of disgusting excuse for a human being would even THINK about doing something like that to a child, to a 16 year old kid who has done absolutely nothing wrong and who has already suffered so much. the fact people continuously try and tear him down and ruin his life is awful enough as it is but this? this is too far, this is so terrible and im so upset and i hope daehwi is doing okay right now because this must be extremely hard on him. hes just a kid. this never should have happened.

Two Months Pt. II

part I

ROYAL AU: James Barnes, Prince of Southvale, has two months to find someone to marry or else his parents will arrange his marriage.
PAIRINGS: Bucky Barnes x Reader
LENGTH: 842 Words 
WARNINGS: drinking, drunk reader
A/N: This is kinda silly but whatever. More intense things will happen in the following chapters (I promise). 

“You’ll make sure he’s okay right?” asked Bruce, watching the prince drive away.

“Don’t worry Bruce.”

“Are you sure you don’t think I should go?”

“Bruce, he does value you, but right now I think he’ll listen to me more.”

“Be safe Steve and bring him back.”

“I’ll do what I can.”

With that, Steve winked and climbed into his own car, off to follow a rogue prince.

Keep reading


mollie: soooo, finally decided to hang out with us, huh? what made you change your mind??

zia: [glares] oh, so you don’t remember telling me that the only way you’ll agree to work on this project with me is to meet you here after class??? great, guess i can leave then-

mollie: shut up!!!!! i’m just fucking with you… why are you so uptight, don’t be a buzzkill

zia: whatever.. what did you want, anyways?

mollie: uh… to hang out? we figured we should try to include you now, considering all of your lil cheer friends are probably gonna ditch you now that you’re bad [winks]

zia: [groans] can you just tell me when and where we are working on this stupid project so i can fucking leave?

mollie: uhh.. later friday night i’m free? and we can’t do it at my place, so its gotta be yours!! but only on one condition!!

zia: [rolls eyes] and whats that?

mollie: you hang out with us!!!!!!!! 

zia: whatever, only for an hour though because i have.. uh.. plans later

The bed song - Part 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Sexual references, but nothing else.

Part 1

Originally posted by its-buckyy

Exhibit B

Well, we found an apartment
It’s not much to look at
A futon on a floor
Torn-off desktop for a door
All the decor’s made of milk crates and duct tape
And if we have sex
They can hear us through the floor
But we don’t do that anymore.

“Okay, so we upgraded ourselves a bit,” (Y/N) admitted as she put a small cloth over a box that would simulate a table. “This is way fancier than what we had,” she nodded.

“Quite fancier,” Bucky agreed, finishing with the pictures he glued to the wall, “and I like it, we have a bathroom of our own now,” he shrugged pointing at the desktop that served as a door.

“Should we do a housewarming party? I mean, invite the team to have a drink or something?”

After two long years of struggling with the difficulties of a life without many privileges and without a house to call their own, they finally got to make their new apartment into a home. After the housewarming party, they called it quits for the night after a long session of passionate love making to inaugurate their home.

But as they struggled with the daily life, they were also struggling with their relationship. They both fell apart from each other. Bucky was busier than ever with missions and (Y/N) seemed restless at work. They barely saw each other and when they did it was only when they found each other fast asleep. It was not the life they had planned, but at least they were together and that was what counted.

They didn’t want to give up on their busy lives to improve their love life, but they didn’t want to give up on each other because the love was real, and they reminded each other on a daily basis about that. (Y/N) would leave small sticky notes on Bucky’s things, saying how much she loved him and how grateful she was that he was with her, and Bucky would text her in the middle of the day just to tell her that she looked gorgeous in the morning.

That’s how they kept their love alive, but even that wasn’t enough.

The years went by in their apartment and they could feel the lack of interest they felt for each other. They looked at each other and there were no more butterflies, it was just a regular person and they barely said a kind word to each other. Small talk was quite small and as much as they tried to change it, they couldn’t.

They feared the worst from one another.

More prompts!

“Do you think you’re going to stop anytime soon?”

“Just how hard did you hit your head anyway?”

“How have you not spontaneously combusted by now?”

“I don’t think it’s supposed to bend that way.”

“I’m not seasick, I’m just allergic to boats.”

“I’m not swaying, the room won’t stay still!”

“I swear, we should just wrap you in bubble wrap.”

“That’s … Yeah, that’s really bad.”

“Is that blood?”

“What happened to your face?”

Kibble. Seriously… I am a goddess, an actual GODDESS, and they give me kibble.

I’m Athena, and don’t get me wrong. These humans at Providence Animal Center in Media, Pennsylvania, mean well. But I ask you: Do goddesses eat kibble? Let me answer: No, we do not.

You know what we DO like? We like being worshiped. That’s something goddesses expect, in fact. But that doesn’t mean we are mean or stuck-up. I, for instance, enjoy showering my human worshipers with purrs, and also like other animals, cats AND dogs.

I am a very democratic goddess! (But I still don’t think they should force me to eat kibble.)

Do you know what else I’d like? A home. I ended up here because someone – no doubt an evil god! – cursed me. But now I am free of that curse, so anyone who adopts me will find their life is one long spring day of joy and flowers and stardust and… I don’t know… birds singing? Whatever it is, I’ll make it happen for you!

I am around 6 years old in goddess years, and as you might expect, I have a special minion here at the shelter who has sponsored my adoption fee, so if you are the great home I’ve been waiting for, you can save that money and spend it buying me delicacies. Deal?

Then email Marissa, my “cat"vocate,” at mgiangiordano@providenceac.org. She’ll arrange for the proper supplications and offerings.

One more thing: I may hate kibble, but I love reblogs. You know what to do.

Divinely yours,




Isabella: Finn, what are you doing here this late on a school night?

Phineas: Hanging out with Ryan and Jacob. Dad said I could. What are you doing?

Isabella: Now? Walking you back to the bus station. School. Night.

Phineas: Awwww.


Hello everyone, and welcome to The Rakish Man. My name is Léon Philippe and I am here with all the right responses to your sartorial queries. I’ve poured my first glass of Grand Marnier, so let’s get started.

Dear Léon,

I love wearing tailored clothing, but I find it really uncomfortable in the summer. I live in a warm climate - if I wear a suit jacket, I end up sweating like a pig. What should I do to maintain a gentlemanly appearance when it’s so hot? Thanks for your help.

- Heated in Houston 

Dear Heated,

Thank you for your query. First of all, never compare yourself to a pig. The pig is a noble animal, without which civilization could never have attained such heady heights as bacon, prosciutto, and the movie Babe: Pig in the City. But a gentleman would do well to downplay his own porcine qualities, whether they relate to perspiration, appetite, or hygiene. 

Now, back to your query. You have asked me how to adapt your wardrobe to your climate. You have the question entirely backwards. Rotate this dilemma in your mind and the solution becomes clear. You must instead adapt your climate to your wardrobe.

Keep reading

“You have a beautiful name...” (Tom Holland x Reader) P.2

“It’s a beautiful name…”

Cafe “Big Cake”
40 seconds ago:

“(Y/B/F), what the hell did you do? What are you smiling at?” You feel like you will pass away right now…
“Get ready, he is coming” Said (Y/B/F)!


“OMG, OMG, OMG what should I do now? What can I say… am I ugly? Did I fix up my hair? Ah God help me…” you feel so lost, you never felt this way before, your hands are shaking, the knees are shaking too. You feel like adrenaline is flowing through your blood…
It’s so bad… but it’s so cool! You know that your dream will come true right in 10 seconds… but what if something will go wrong? What if you say something stupid and it would be so awkward… you thought about it only in 8 seconds… the one thing you know for sure is that you will ever forget this… whatever will happen! And what about your…

“Hey”… You would never have confused this voice with someone else’s… it’s him! You feel something right inside your heart something that brings you suffer and happiness at the same time, something that we call love and affection!
“Hey” said (Y/B/F), “I’m (Y/B/F/N), nice to finally meet you” he wasn’t his fan at all… but you can see that he is really enjoying the situation, and you know for sure that it is because he knows that you need to do something now, but what?!
“Hey” said Tom again, he was waiting for you to react. He is right in your back you don’t see him, but you really want to see him even if you shy. (Y/B/F) sits right in front of you, Tom is behind you… and time is ticking, you still didn’t answer…
“Is everything okay (Y/N)” said (Y/B/F) with a smile on his face!
You looked into his eyes and made a look that says: “oh just wait, I will kill you later…”
And you finally turned around and saw him…
His hair is perfect as always, he wears a black tight shirt, his eyes are completely brown and you are just drowning into them, also you noticed that he looks right into your eyes too. Now everything doesn’t matter for you. Your every problem just gone. You feel like you can do whatever you want. You even forgot that (Y/B/F) is still sitting there with you. But he didn’t long to wait for himself…
He said “hey”… (Y/B/F), you and Tom are standing now… it’s a really short but still awkward silence…
”Let’s just sit, ha?” Said (Y/B/F) to both of you!
“Hey again, I’m Tom, Tom Holland” said Tom. He didn’t sit yet, so did you, he just smiles and looks at you, he is really affected by something, you don’t know what is that… or… you are just afraid to think that it’s because of you, ‘cause it’s stupid tho…
“Hi” said you, you was so scared that it even affected your voice, but he didn’t notice it.
“And you are…” said (Y/B/F) with a questionable and waiting face…
“What me?” Said you, you are still looking at Tom, you don’t care about what (Y/B/F) says…
“Your name! Don’t be so… just say your name please” said (Y/B/F) a little losing his temper..
“Oh Yeah, I’m… I’m (Y/N). It’s really so great to meet Tom Holland himself…” said you and it was like slap for you, ‘cause you feel scary and adrenaline again. It felt like you woke up…
“(Y/N)” replied Tom with a little affection, “You have a really beautiful name… and your dress is just amazing by the way…” he looked at your dress and in your eyes again.
“Thank you, you too” said you, then you got your mistake! “Oh I mean name, nor dress… of course not dress, you don’t wear it now… I mean you don’t wear it at all…” you just wanted to die right now because of shame…
You heard a quiet slap. It’s (Y/B/F) just did a facepalm
“I’m sorry” you said but then you noticed that he is smiling and it just relaxed you…
“Let’s finally sit…?” Said (Y/B/F).
“Yeah, of course” said Tom and sat on a chair
You sat too without saying a word. There is a little silence. Tom broke it:
“Thank you for the beer… I came just to thank you.” Said Tom with a smile, and you know he feel awkward so do you. But now you feel a little confused too: what beer?
“What?” You said a little confused…
“You ordered a beer for him, don’t you remember, (Y/N)” said (Y/B/F) and winked at you.
“Me? Oh yeah… Yeah I did, it’s nothing Tom, I know you like beer” you looked at Tom again, he is so amazing you think…
“So what are you doing here, in London? Are you alone?” Asked (Y/B/F)! Tom sits right on your right, (Y/B/F) sits in front of you and he looks at you then at Tom and then at you again…
“No, I’m here with Zendaya and Harrison…” said Tom and then completed: “Oh, I think you don’t know who they are…”
“Oh no, I definitely do, (Y/N) told me everything” said (Y/B/F).
“Really?” Asked Tom, he looks at you and it seems he is really surprised…
“No, no I didn’t” said you, it’s so shame you think… you looked at (Y/B/F) with I really mad look.
“…how you visit some hospitals worldwide, about your beautiful dog Tessa and…” but here you interrupted him:
“No I didn’t!!!” You almost screamed… now you feel completely dishonored.
“Oh, we have to go now, we gotta do that sing we were talking about, (Y/B/F).” You said, looked at (Y/B/F)with a very praying look…
“What thing? I don’t remember…” said (Y/B/F) he a little confused…
“THAT THING” said you in a very strict tone…
“Oh yeah, I remember” said (Y/B/F) with too much creativity.
“So bye then” said Tom more to you than to (Y/B/F), I hope we will meet again (Y/N).
You didn’t want to go but it was too dangerous to stay more… you said bye and left. Then (Y/B/F) came out if the cafe!
“How could you do that to me? OMG it was so awkward I was so stupid in front of him, he laughed at me” you said with a madness and sadness at the same time…
“You are wrong! Yeah he smiled, but it because you affected him, I saw everything and you stayed well!
You know what? I think I forgot my wallet when I paid for our order, I will come back in a minute…” said (Y/B/F) and left. You were standing on the other side of the street when (Y/B/F) came out…
Now you are on the way to home… you don’t talk too much, cause you are thinking a lot about everything that happened. Then you suddenly stoped and you felt really sad…
“What is that, (Y/N)” asked (Y/B/F).
“I just realized, I didn’t take a photo with him” said you almost cried. (Y/B/F) Just smiled, hanged you and said: “You will have the chance, I promise…”

To be continued…


anonymous asked:

Why does Spotify list Liam as having 0 monthly followers? Do they do a monthly reset or something? ( I'm not a usual Spotify-er so pls forgive the dumb question.)

Not a dumb question! One of our admins actually experienced the same thing, and apparently it can sometimes happen when Spotify is counting new listeners. But this is what mine looks like right now for Liam:

So try checking back in a few hours and it should be ok! 😊

Look Joseei, I’m not the one to start shit with. Luckily for you, I’m in a good mood. now if you upset about people reblogging stuff about you being an ass to people, then maybe you should start treating people with respect. Over here getting upset cause a nigga reblogged it, smfh. I got an idea, how about you stop caring what other people do and say and stay in your lane? And I find it ironic that you bring Coco up, seeing that you sent her a message about me when you don’t know me. Or even to sit here and get upset that I been doing scenes with her even though she “quit” tumblr. How about you sit ya ass down, be fucking humble, keep ya mouth shut, and maybe things will be fine again, until you piss another person off. shit seems like I’m the first man you actually grew some balls to face. must of been very small still seeing you had to send me a message, and you most likely blocked me afterwards. But aye it is what it is, so to you, have a nice day and think twice before stepping to me again.

@cocodarkness @wrath115 @mzkoko1 @krisamaevu @ttbro1 @blackkvnglong @xlusci0usx @roberyndell @moaneyyx @the-dangerouslust

anonymous asked:

Hi! So, i'm a trans guy (pre T) and I'm asexual, i see that a lot of people who start t see their sex drive or whatever it is going up and I'm scared that if it happens to me I won't understand what's going on and feel really bad because i'm really extremely disgusted by sex... Have you heard about anyone in a situation like this or maybe have advice on what I could do if it happens ? (It's not urgent since I won't start T before a long time, I was just wondering) Have a good day !

Hey! Testosterone probably won’t change the fact that you’re a sex repulsed asexual; all it will do is increase your libido (need for sex), but probably not make you want it any more than you do now. There are cases of people starting T and no longer identifying as ace but it’s rare and if this does happen you will be okay! You should be fine, try not to worry about it too much!

If anyone has any info about this please add in the comments!

what i (a level 12 gay) say: sexuality is fluid for many people

what i mean: *sipping wine like a socialite at the big gay ball* sexual identity changes throughout one’s life as they explore their attractions, boundaries and partners, or even experience new attractions, or indeed in this era of gender revolution, people reevaluating the essentially of gender to attraction.  while for many of us, our sexuality is rock solid and evident, for others sexuality is a complicated beast and how people actively pursue it, explore it, label it and express it changes through their lives and they should be free to do so, for there is no wrong way to be and express yourself in the pursuit of happiness.  ha, assuming yourself isn’t a terrible person of course, don’t get too witty with me now, dahling *sips more wine*

what a straight thinks i mean: one day i will stop being queer forever and feel embarassed about having “acted out” as trans, and be thankful for you for stopping me from expressing myself while my “LGBT phase” played itself out


ok so I now have 200 followers (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) what should I do? art raffle (warning I suck at deadlines) or something else? you guys decide