what i can't though is your face

50% OFF Starters pt 2
  • "If you continue your attempts at flirting, I will be forced to take DRASTIC measures."
  • "I like watching you from behind."
  • "Stunning deduction sherlock."
  • *demonic voice* "by the darkest sun that casts its menacing rays of the furthest madness, we sense your intentions, (name). the gibbering of mad cultists whisper wicked words to temporal winds, they inform us that you are not to be trusted. Usurper. Usurper."
  • "USURPER!"
  • "I've heard a lot about you and your extensive collection of tank tops, like I'm thinking about getting like 10 more."
  • "Calm down little dude."
  • "the fear of drowning is a primal one. it's a feeling of helplessness, of losing all control. struggling against an inevitable fate as your lungs fill with water..."
  • "I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how to swim or how to fuck Dean Winchester."
  • "You know I had a dream like this once, you surprisingly had more clothes on, though, at least at the start."
  • "ten bucks says he dies."
  • "I'm gonna go run my feelings off."
  • "Yeah it didn't work out... for them."
  • "I have to go scream confusing, end-of-the-world ramblings at people under the freeway."
  • "I feel like I should argue this, but the potential for implied sexual antics is far too appealing."
  • "do not be alarmed! I am about to be hilarious."
  • "Maybe you should stop dragging me to these rap battles then!"
  • "I WANT YOU TO SHARE THE THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME!"
  • "I was under the impression there would be implied sexual antics, time to take matters into my own hands!"
  • "This feels a little exploitative."
  • "I need a soda. Or therapy. Probably both."
  • "Yeah it started because K-pop concert security is tougher than it looks but I just got hooked on the feeling of crushing someones face in with a solid right cross."
  • "sHHSHHshhshhhhh shut up shut up! shh I SMELL BOYS BEING GAY."
  • "Excuse me I am trying to scream my feelings into your mouth!"
  • "That wasn't hot... it was just fucking weird..."
  • "It's not what I would have you in, but I do appreciate beauty in all its many forms. mostly that cute booty though."
  • "hey, the heart wants what the heart wants."
  • "It may be hard to believe, but recently I lost the ability to read."
  • "Just because you can't read the words, doesn't mean you can't enjoy the book in a different way."
  • "boom! done. advice over. let's go get shitfaced!"
  • "Alright I brought the bitch-board for (name)."
  • "Alright let's call it what it is, a sissy paddle."
  • "calm down (name) we weren't talking about your internet search history."
  • "MY SWEET BABY SWAM!"
  • "didn't we make a pact to stop her from doing this weeb shit?"
  • "this better not be anymore or (name)'s weird porn!"
  • "Please call the police, because I look so good in this it should be against the law! uh, don't actually call the police though, I WILL incriminate all of you."
  • "Yeah but didn't they train on those islands where all those teenagers were killed? ...and those witch burnings happened? ...and all that toxic waste was spilled?"
  • "if you die, I get fired and I like this job. people don't ask questions here."
  • "fish-men walk among us. conquerers of land, BORN FROM THE OCEAN--"
  • "I don't need him to make weird pornography, I have prawns for that."
  • "Finally moving out, son? I'd like to say it's been fun. I'd like to. But I won't."
  • "hey check me out! I'm on a bout!"
  • "Sit down and stop making 2009 references!"
  • "nah, I scream enough at the unforgiving void of space."
  • "DON'T STEAL MY BONES!"
  • "You know, the ocean goblin? He lives in the ocean and if you don't brush your teeth he steals your bones."
  • "Ok I'm done for the day. If anyone needs me I'm gonna be in the tent looking at weird porn."
  • "Hey, you miss every ball you don't hit."
  • "You say 'you people' like you're not part of the family. I've got some news for you, you're already on the christmas card."
  • "You think these antics would fly at the german club?"
  • "brush your teeth, kid."
  • "Can you hear it? the ocean... it wants blood."
  • "I'm the best damn shot we've got."
  • "You know, when I was a kid, before my dad got hit by that train, he said, '(name) don't let your friends swim out into the ocean and get stranded on the haunted island of camp kill-a-teen.' and here we are... stranded on the... haunted island of camp kill-a-teen..."
  • "that's fair."
  • "hey tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumbass!"
  • "It's fine, baby, if you get scared you can squeeze my hand."
  • "now let's make like scooby-doo and split up to find a clue."
  • "In 1991 a case was discovered where a man had the remains of over fifteen victims hidden in his apartment, over 40% of which were stored within his refrigerator. do you know how unsanitary that is?"
  • "you're so cute when you never shut up. Now shut up."
  • "all hail decision cube!"
  • "that's when you started walking on the wild side, right?"
  • "I AM NOT SOME PETTY CRIMINAL!"
  • "Does anyone want to hear my tragic backstory?"
  • "Bed? But what about possible axe-murderers?"
  • "And we solved the curse of the island, and realized that the real axe murderer was love, all along."
  • "It was a good night for all of us, let's spend more nights in abandoned lighthouses."
  • "That hottie from the track team is here and I wanna ask politely is he wants to get rowdy in the back of my dad's Prius."
  • "YOU CAN'T CATCH ME GAY THOUGHTS"
Stuff I've Actually Heard People Say Part 3
  • "If a leaf fell on your face and stayed there, would you eat it?" "Wait. What kind of leaf?"
  • "One time I broke my finger during school, but I just ignored it because I had a test the next period."
  • "I just chugged four bottles of lemonade and ate half a bowl of Milky Ways, I'm ready to go!"
  • "You can't do the splits to achieve your destiny."
  • "Amoebas don't breathe."
  • "I hate this, even though it's to my advantage."
  • "We've gotta trick Ryan Gosling into being a furry."
  • "Who is Mac, and why is he cheesy?"
  • "Ah ha! All I have to do is ram myself into trees!"
  • "You smell like a piece of shoe."
  • "I love contagion food."
  • "Today I cried listening to the Trolls soundtrack."
  • "Ah, but this is a good thing! It just means I can begin manufacturing leg irons!"
  • "If you don't do it, I'll put the paperclips back in my ears."
  • "I thought we were gonna be furries together."
  • "Oh no, they're trying to be relatable!"
  • "I've got some sick hula-hooping tricks."
  • "Is that a pair of pants with no body?"
  • "Get schooled by a cucumber picker!"
  • "Your flowers are fat." "They're still pretty." "They're pretty fat."
  • "Your mouth, your money."
  • "All the money we've paid for violin and piano and voice, and the chicken noise is what gets them every time."
  • "Hey! No one coughs on my mom!"
  • "Yes, a Roaring 20s themed wedding!... but also dragons!"
  • "Everyone must come in their best armor."
  • "They do match! This one says "I love British boys", and the other is a picture of Zayn, who is a British boy!"
  • "I clip my nails, and they keep growing back!"
  • "Congrat! A single congration, no congrats for you."
  • "This is my finished."
  • "Memes will be the death of this country."
  • "I am ready for death to claim me."
  • "Sasquatch and stretch."

anonymous asked:

i'm a trans guy, 30s, been fat all my life. i'm desperate for top surgery, but every surgeon says i have to lose weight. exercise with my huge chest is hard enough, but now makes dysphoria worse (it's like my boobs are the reason i can't have my boobs off). since age 7 (not a typo), i've been fatshamed and forced on every diet. these days i exercise reasonably, eat decently. i know i'm never losing the weight, though. i need top surgery more than anything. i don't know what to do anymore.

You shouldn’t have to face these barriers, I’m sorry you are dealing with fat-phobic and transphobic doctors. Your size is not the problem, their ignorance is the problem. And hugs to little seven-year-old you. I have a son, and no vulnerable little boy should ever be treated like you were treated. Your weight was just fine then and its just fine now.

If you search my “trans health” tag you will find a post with resources about top surgery that may help. Yours is, unfortunately, a very common problem.

Long story short is that not all doctors require weight loss before top surgery, but you may need to shop around widely to find someone who is both willing and competent to perform the surgery on fat people. As a rule, surgeons do not receive adequate training performing surgical procedures on fat bodies, and we all pay the price for their lack of knowledge and skill. 

Does anyone else have advice, validation, or lived experiences to share?

They’re too nice to fight each other what are you even talking about.

“I don’t want to let go…” - Starcoweek 3 Prompt 2: Mewberty Part 2

@starcoweek3 Forgive me if Star doesn’t have six arms. My hypothesis is that since this is Mewberty Part 2 the tranformation might be more stable (?) That, or I’m just a really lazy person XD

Bonus:

I was messing around with some brushes and then this happened. @artgirllullaby told me she liked the angst even though it’s not relevant to the theme what so ever so I decided to keep it. Besides, what harm could be done if you got shoved with some angst to your face? :3

(I still think this did not turned out well :/)

Cool story
  • Me: Jeez, I was up all night again listening to Creepypesto readings. I sure am spooked. I listened to a lot of stories about that Turtle Faced Jack guy. I sure hope he doesn't appear by my bedside and get me.
  • Turtle Faced Jack: What's up.
  • Me: Oh no, how could this happen!
  • Turtle Faced Jack: As the legend goes, I have to kill you now. I have to rip out your guts and say my signature catchphrase, "enjoy your nap".
  • Me: Oh no, I can't believe I'm going to be fucking killed. Thought I would die at the age of 63 due to congestive heart failure, but I was fucking wrong again, like I was wrong about so many other things like: my gender, wanting to be a scientist, who would become president in 2016, enjoying anime, and you not killing me, among other things. It's as if fate itself has decreed that everything I believe is, in reality, in an opposite state of existence.
  • Turtle Faced Jake: Wait just one minute. I absolutely definitely am going to kill you. It's going to be a pretty senseless murder, as it's just what I do. I don't get much pleasure from this at all, actually, but I've just now decided to think of this, what if before killing you, I do something else. Like, something really creepy to give my kills more flair. I already have a perfect catchphrase and my turtle face is terrifying, but there's not much else that makes me stand-out. I think I'm going to do something groundbreaking. Instead of killing you now, I'll mark you and kill you at a random point in the distant future.
  • Me: Oh no, that's so stressful and scary.
  • Turtle Faced Jake: Yeah, I know. You won't know when it will happen, all you will know is that it's not happening any time soon. Okay, I guess I'm going now. See you.
  • *so many years pass that I am now the age of 63*
  • Me: Here I am, 63 years of age. I've lived a full life and I am almost entirely ready to die. Whether I die of congestive heart failure or some other means is no issue to me. All that matters is that I die at this point in my life and finally move on to the next plane of existence.
  • Iphone58485848: *boop u have a message*
  • Me: Whoa, I have a message. It's from Turtle Faced Jake. Dear You, if you've received this message it's because I am dead. Shortly after our faithful meeting, I decided to devote my life to pacifism. I've never killed another person and I raised a happy family of fucked up turtle faced people. I am proud of what I've done and I was ready to pass away from natural means. Please live out the rest of your life under no stress, knowing that I won't be the one to take your life. Whoa, what a crazy letter. Can't say I planned out the next steps in my life after 63. Pretty sure I'll die of old age soon, though.
  • *200 years later*
  • Me: Can't believe I'm still alive...

anonymous asked:

Hey for blurb night I was wondering if I could request the line "Girl you really got a hold on me, so this isn't just puppy love" with Remus please? It is from the song Me and Your Mama by Childish Gambino. Thanks!! I can't wait to see what you are gonna come up with!!! ♡♡♡

Your fingers gently brushed through Remus’ hair as he rested beside you. It was  a full moon tonight and though you were every bit as worried as Remus, you did you best to appear calm and collected. 

“How are you feeling?” you asked softly.

“Tired, anxious, wolfy,” Remus replied, his face buried in his pillow. 

You rubbed his back soothingly, “The boys’ll be with you. You’ll be just fine like always.”

“You can go, you know?” he breathed after a moment of silence.

“Go?”

“Yeah,” he turned over so he was staring at the ceiling, still avoiding your eyes, “I know everyone else, all your friends, are in Hogsmeade.”

“So?” 

“So you should be there. Having fun. Living your life. You don’t have to stay here with me,” he explained. 

“But I want to be here with you,” you answered. 

“Are you insane?”

You smiled, “Maybe.”

Remus sat up in a huff. “(Y/N), look I care about you. Hell, maybe I even love you, but I can’t watch you miss out on your life because of me,” he ranted.

Your mouth fell open as you processed his words, “Remus Lupin…if you think that I am ‘missing out’ because of you, then you are by far, the most oblivious boy I have ever met. You are the most important person in my life right now and if anything, I am living just by being with you.” You paused for a moment before adding, “And hell, maybe I even love you too.

You both stared at each other in awe, not exactly sure what just happened. 

“You love me?” he asked quietly. 

“Maybe. Do you love me?”

“Maybe,” he responded, a dopey smile gracing his perfect face. 

“Alright, then,” you sighed, a blush coating your cheeks.

Remus looked like he was going to say something, but instead simply crashed his chapped lips into yours, the two of you melting against each other. 

Originally posted by nellaey

Shit People Say After You Tell Them Your Sign
  • *actual events by actual people
  • Aries: "Damn that explains your muscles"
  • "No wonder you have a temper hahahhhaa ok don't hit me"
  • "But you don't like sports????"
  • Taurus: "Okay nice so are you hungry now?"
  • "But you can't even decide what shoes to wear today wut"
  • "but you're always too lazy to argue COME ON FIGHT ME"
  • Gemini: "Lmao you two-faced hoe what did I tell you"
  • "Okay but if like you have a pair of gemini twins...would they both have one face each or four"
  • "You're loyal for one OR ARE YOU hmmmmm"
  • Cancer: "I've never seen you cry though"
  • "Stay away from me I might get cancer"
  • Leo: "YOUR HAIR IS WOW NO WONDER"
  • "You're not even selfish thoughhhhh"
  • "That's why you a thot"
  • Virgo: "But you never study wut"
  • "You don't even clean your room this is a lie"
  • "So are you a eternally a virgin or"
  • Libra: "This is why you can't decide on what to eat. Like, ever."
  • "What happens if two libras go on a date omfg how to you choose where to go fuck this is giving ME a headache"
  • "I don't care if you flirt with everyone don't steal my gurl fam"
  • Scorpio: "But you're so nice"
  • "Is this why you're always dressed like you're going to a funeral ahaaa- okay sorry"
  • "That explains your horrifying tweet damn"
  • Sagittarius: "Stop liking every girl you meet man you're more of a hoe than libra"
  • "But you're scared of heights"
  • "But you don't even go out of your room what do you mean adventure is this a sick joke"
  • Capricorn: "But you is the biggest party peep I know"
  • "no wonder you do so well without studying fuck you"
  • "is this why you never find dates"
  • Aquarius: "....so what does your sign do"
  • "Aren't you basically Sagittarius? What's the difference"
  • "...okay nice"
  • Pisces: "isn't that why you're so adorable awwwWWW"
  • "so are you and cancer like. TItanic buddies"
  • "Wow all my pisces friends are art people how are you good at science"

anonymous asked:

I see men every day in their professional, respectable facade. And in the same 20 minutes I'll see their monstrous sex driven true self. I can't help but think this when I'm about to see my male gyno, like act as professional as you want, you still find me attractive and are enjoying examining my vagina? I can't change this fucked up thought process I've gotten from being a sex worker..

You know, anon, for me, there’s sometimes a little game to this: when I see a particular insufferable or tightly wound dude, I play a little round of “what fucked up shit are you into?” or “which version of hilarious-boner-face is your hilarious-boner-face?” in my head, and it makes me smile, and calm in the face of assholery.

More seriously though. You’re right that seeing a client in session gives you access to, if not their “real” selves, then the self they choose to be when “no one” is watching.  Seeing this year after year has made me a stronger advocate for myself – I have a steadier temper than I did when I was younger, but I’m much less inclined to excuse people’s behavior in a “can’t help it” or “overcome by emotions” sort of way.  Because when you see those huge shifts, it shows you, not the ravening beast beneath us all, but rather exactly how much a deliberate choice it is to behave well or badly.  Because it’s not just that you see people behave in publicly inappropriate ways – it’s that, by and large, these aren’t people getting fired from their jobs, or wrecking their lives.  They’re people who usually have other relationships that they don’t have problems maintaining, whether romantic, platonic or business. So clearly, they are able to choose how to act.

  For me, sex work has had a part in breaking down the concept of a  dichotomy between good people and bad – everyone is capable of making the choice to treat other people with care, or not.  And if people around me aren’t making kind choices, then it doesn’t really matter what the reasons behind it are, just the resulting actions. And part of learning to focus on those actions instead of what could be behind them has been because of sex work, for me. 

anonymous asked:

calum always gets on his knees when his lips and tongue are between your legs, and you never thought the day would come, but one day he gets down on one knee and asks you for forever

OH MY GOD IM YELLING

and s/o to @kacieblogs for the awesome dialogue in this b/c I was cackling for approx 10 hours when she sent it to me.


You’re trying to be serious. 

No, really, you are. 

Only, now you’re thinking back to all the times you’ve seen Calum sink down to his knees willingly–something he only ever does on stage or when his head ends up between the part of your thighs. Especially when his head is between your thighs; swollen lips pressing deliberate open mouthed kisses, tongue slipping out to skim over you. 

So, yeah, you can’t help but giggle at Calum despite the ring box he’s got clutched in one hand and the incredulous look he’s giving you. 

“I’m sorry!” you laugh, one hand hovering over your grin, trying to conceal it. “It’s just that normally when you’re on your knees things take an extremely different turn!”

“Oh my god.” Calum guffaws, apples of his cheeks flushing at your words. “I can’t believe you.” Your only response is to laugh a bit harder, bent over at the waist with your palms against your knees for support. “Babe!”

“Right, sorry!” You gasp, the last few giggles falling from your lips. Standing back up, you swallow and wipe the tears of laughter that gathered at the corner of your eyes. “Marriage, us. Continue.”

Calum gives you a snort and an unamused, sarcastic grin. “Like I was saying, will you marry me?”

You purse your lips, fighting the smirk that you feel coming. “Yes. On one condition though.” 

He blinks in confusion, taking your hands to stand up when you offer them to him. “Oh, no. What is it?” 

There’s definitely no fighting the smirk now as it stretches across your face, and you quickly lick your lips to wet them as you look up to meet Calum’s eye. You let your fingers trail along his chest, tips of your nails catching on the buttons on their way down until you reach the buckle of his belt. “Let me be on my knees for once.”

Classic Rock lyrics starter meme
  • "You want paradise, someday you'll pay the price, I know."
  • "Closing the door, you leave the world behind."
  • "Someday you'll pay."
  • "You're as cold as ice."
  • "I got a fever of 103."
  • "Come on baby, do you do more than dance?"
  • "You don't have to read my mind to know what I have in mind."
  • "You move so fine."
  • "I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing 'til they got ahold of me."
  • "I'm feelin' mean."
  • "No more Mr. Nice Guy."
  • "He's sick, he's obscene!"
  • "People are strange."
  • "Women seem wicked when you're unwanted."
  • "When you're strange faces come out of the rain."
  • "Thought that I could call your bluff, but now the lines are clear enough."
  • "Life's not pretty even though I tried so hard to make it so."
  • "How did I ever get into this mess?"
  • "Can't live without you, 'cuz you're so fine. I can't get away."
  • "I wonder how he's/she's feeling?"
  • "Was I alright?"
  • "What's a nice guy/girl like you doing in a place like this?"
  • "They don't make guys/girls like you no more."
  • "I'd like to get to know you on closer terms than this. But I guess you've heard it all before."
  • "Why should I care?"
  • "Step inside, walk this way."
  • "I'm outta luck, outta love."
  • "You're too much, you're the only one I wanna touch."
  • "You're all I want, my fantasy."
  • "Look what you've done."
  • "I don't your photograph."
  • "We've got fun and games."
  • "If you got the money honey, we've got your disease."
  • "I wanna watch you bleed."
  • "You're a very sexy guy/girl who's very hard to please."
  • "No one knows what it's like to be the bad man."
  • "My love is vengeance that's never free."
  • "No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings."
  • "No one bites back this hard on their anger."
  • "None of my pain and woe can show through."
  • "My dreams aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be."
  • "When my fist clenches crack it open before I use it and lose my cool."
  • "When I smile tell me some bad news before I laugh and act like a fool."
  • "If I swallow anything evil, put your finger down my throat."
  • "If I shiver please give me a blanket, keep me warm."
  • "Let me wear your coat."

i rly want farrah moan to go home honestly, if i can see exactly what you’ve shown on drag race on your instagram page, i don’t care to see you on tv. or in a club. like i’m still waiting for her to prove me wrong and prove that she can perform well or deliver something other than nice makeup on an already pretty face + wearing nice outfits that have been designed by someone else. but i’ve*** never SEEN a high energy or meaningful performance from her + the all lives matter comments make me really….

not a fan lmao

don’t come for me farrah stans!!!! idk man link me if you know of anything that would prove me wrong, i love a look queen but only if they can deliver some kind of a performance as well.

Heavenly Commentary: Order of the Phoenix
  • James: The fact that they don’t think Harry is normal gives me strength.
  • ***
  • Lily: He’s not well.
  • James: He’s traumatised. After what happened in the graveyard; he’s still coming to terms.
  • Cedric: You and me both Harry.
  • ***
  • James: Stay calm Harry.
  • Lily: Let it go.
  • ***
  • James: What is...? Dementors!? Really?
  • Lily: Eurgh! It was to be expected.
  • Cedric: You guys don’t seem very worried.
  • James: After everything Harry’s been through, a couple Dementors won’t be a problem. Plus he has his wand with him.
  • Lily: The real problem is, that these Dementors wouldn’t be here unless ordered. So who gave the order?
  • Cedric: Obviously Voldemort.
  • Lily: Maybe.
  • Cedric: I can’t imagine what it’s like. Watching someone you love in such terrible danger. And not being able to do a thing about it.
  • James: Don’t worry. You’ll know soon enough.
  • ***
  • Lily: That was pretty close though.
  • James: Yeah but he’s good. A nice fight does wonders. Plus Figg is here now.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Why doesn’t Dumbledore want Harry doing magic?
  • Lily: I’m not sure. James, go find out.
  • Cedric: Actually I’ll go. See my parents as well.
  • ***
  • James: Expelled?! For defending himself?
  • Lily: No. Dumbledore will- yup there he is.
  • ***
  • Lily: She must have heard Sev telling me.
  • James: Why did Harry think we’d talk about Dementors? I have better charm than that.
  • Lily: Barely.
  • ***
  • James: WHAT?!? He’s kicking Harry out?!
  • Lily: Petunia if you let this happen, I swear I will never forgive you.
  • James: That’s Dumbledores voice.
  • ***
  • Lily: The gangs all here.
  • James: Just after the nick of time.
  • ***
  • James: I wonder who the secret keeper of this place is?
  • Lily: After what happened to us, do you think he’d choose anyone but himself?
  • ***
  • Lily: He’s so angry.
  • James: He has the right to be.
  • ***
  • James: Dumbledore is keeping Harry in the dark.
  • Lily: Because he’s now public enemy number one. I wonder what Cedric will learn.
  • James: That losing a child, destroys a parent.
  • ***
  • Lily: THAT’S his mother?!
  • James: That’s the reason he left home.
  • ***
  • James: That was...
  • Lily: Intense. Molly can be cruel. Bringing up Azkaban like that?
  • ***
  • James: Fucking Cornelius Fudge.
  • ***
  • Cedric: The Ministry is trying to convince everyone that Voldemort isn’t back, that Harry's a liar and Dumbledore is crazy.
  • Lily: Yeah that is what we heard. How are your parents?
  • Cedric: As you'd expect. How is everyone?
  • James: They’re getting by. Welcome to the Order.
  • ***
  • Lily: He’s shaking.
  • James: I’M shaking.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Why would they change the time?
  • Lily: To force him to be late. Bastards!
  • ***
  • James: He didn’t want Dumbledore here.
  • Lily: Of course not. Fudge knows he can’t win against him.
  • ***
  • Lily: If I could I’d punch that bastard.
  • James: I know you would but he's in the clear now.
  • Lily: It’s not over. It's only getting started.
  • Cedric: What do you mean?
  • ***
  • James: I forgot about that picture. Great timing Mad-Eye.
  • Lily: Me too. Is that Molly crying?
  • Cedric: She’s seeing them all dead.
  • James: And Harry thinks he's next
  • ***
  • James: Of course she walks in when he's covered in Stinksap.
  • Lily: He's been covered in worse. He’ll be fine.
  • ***
  • Cedric: What is Harry seeing?
  • Lily: Thestrals. They pull the carriages.
  • James: But you can only see them if you've seen death.
  • Cedric: ...Oh
  • ***
  • James: When a hat is telling you something is wrong then you really should listen.
  • ***
  • Lily: Hermione is right. Looks like the fight has come to Hogwarts.
  • Cedric: Because none of us were expecting that, were we?
  • ***
  • Cedric: Let's see how many friends he really has.
  • ***
  • James: Don't you dare talk about Moony you fucking cow!
  • Lily: Calm down. Breathe.
  • James: I'm dead. I don't breathe.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Have a what?!?
  • ***
  • Lily: She’s torturing my boy. SHE’S TORTURING MY SON!! WHY ARE YOU SMIRKING?!?
  • James: Because. That bitch is trying to break him. And she has no idea who she is fucking with. But she will.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Umbridge and Voldemort? Is that possible?
  • Lily: No. She's a different type of evil.
  • ***
  • James: She lied to Filch for him. I approve of Cho.
  • Lily: Naturally.
  • ***
  • Lily: Poor Ron.
  • James: Family turning against family. Just like last time.
  • Cedric: Was it that bad?
  • James: It was hell.
  • ***
  • Cedric: She made it illegal for Professor Lupin to get another job?
  • Lily: Do me a favour Harry, destroy her.
  • ***
  • Lily: Harry got the D.
  • James: Severus GAVE Harry the D. Why are you laughing?
  • Cedric: Because Snape gave Harry the D. Do you think Harry wanted the D?
  • James: ...
  • Lily: I don't get it.
  • ***
  • Lily: His hand. It'll never heal.
  • James: He will not let this hag beat him.
  • Lily: She's torturing him James!
  • James: And my son won't break.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Do you think he'll do it? Teach them?
  • Lily: He will. As much as he’ll protest, he won't be able to stomach the idea of doing nothing.
  • ***
  • Lily: I don't know how I feel about Harry being better than a final year Durmstrang.
  • James: The word you're looking for is “proud”.
  • ***
  • James: The Hogs Head! I've missed this place.
  • Cedric: You used to come here?
  • Lily: Him and Sirius lived here.
  • James: Not true. We rarely used Aberforth. Firewhiskey was for special occasions.
  • Lily: Like Friday nights.
  • James: Saturday nights too. We were not picky.
  • ***
  • James: That went well.
  • Cedric: Yeah. I'd sign up.
  • ***
  • Cedric: No Quidditch...
  • James: No team...
  • Lily: Oh God. Now there's two of them.
  • ***
  • James: Now that Padfoot approves she is getting nervous?
  • Lily: She really is the smartest of them all.
  • ***
  • Cedric: He's connected to Voldemorts mind. That is not a good thing.
  • Lily: No. It really isn't.
  • ***
  • James: Our boy's a teacher.
  • Lily: A good one too.
  • ***
  • Lily: Don't react Harry. Don't react.
  • James: Ah shit.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Banned...
  • James: For life...
  • Lily: Calm down you two. She'll be gone by years end.
  • James: That doesn't help us now Evans!
  • Lily: Idiots.
  • ***
  • Cedric: What the hell Hagrid?
  • James: He's been pulverised.
  • ***
  • Lily: Voldemort has been trying to kill our son for 14 years. And I think I might hate Umbridge more...
  • ***
  • Lily: His first kiss. So sweet
  • James: He’s not doing too badly.
  • Lily: She seems into him.
  • James: Of course she is. He looks like me.
  • Lily: Arse. Cedric don’t they look cute together?
  • Cedric: I didn't say anything before but you realise that’s my ex right?
  • ***
  • Lily: Harry was the snake?
  • James: Dumbledore knows something.
  • Lily: Of course he does. But he's not going to tell.
  • ***
  • Lily: I love Padfoot but he's not the best at dealing with emotional stuff. Harry thinks he's going insane and Sirius tells him to sleep it off.
  • ***
  • Lily: Well well well. Ginny Weasley. Lioness.
  • James: What's that look on your face?
  • Lily: I have no idea what you're talking about.
  • ***
  • James: Frank...Alice...
  • Cedric: Poor Neville.
  • ***
  • James: Come on Padfoot do it. Just one curse.
  • Lily: Sirius don't be an idiot.
  • James: Be an idiot!
  • Lily: Occlumency though. So Voldemort IS in Harrys mind.
  • ***
  • Cedric: I can't believe this is how Snape treats Harry.
  • Lily: He's a complicated man with a skewed moral compass.
  • Cedric: If you say so...what the hell is in the Department of Mysteries?
  • James: A prophecy.
  • ***
  • Lily: Oh please God no...
  • Cedric: He broke them out. Voldemort broke them out.
  • James: And he just got ten of his most loyal and dangerous followers back.
  • ***
  • Cedric: I don't feel good for being the reason Cho just left but...I don't exactly feel bad either.
  • Lily: She misses you. I imagine she'll miss you for the rest of your life.
  • Cedric: Now I feel bad.
  • James: Don't son. It's not your fault. None of this is.
  • ***
  • Lily: This story will burn through England. The truth will finally be heard.
  • ***
  • James: Every time something good happens, something bad happens straight away.
  • ***
  • Cedric: I will never forget her face at this moment, for as long as I...well am.
  • Lily: Can we all appreciate what just happened? Dumbledore kept the old teacher, appointed the new and got another “dangerous half-breed” into the castle.
  • James: It’s a giant middle finger to Umbridge.
  • ***
  • James: SCATTER!
  • ***
  • Cedric: I can't believe Marietta would do this. She was always so nice.
  • James: I told you. Friend against friend. It's what he does.
  • Lily: Dumbledore is doing something crazy...
  • James: Holy crap!
  • ***
  • James: Fred and George. Making the Marauders proud.
  • ***
  • Lily: No Harry don't...and we're in the Pensieve.
  • Cedric: Why would he-
  • James: Oh shit. I know where we are.
  • Lily: Oh God. This is not the moment you want Harry to see.
  • Cedric: Why? What do you...ah...
  • James: You don't see it here, but Snape gave as good as he got. However I'm not exactly proud of how I acted.
  • Lily: Not ashamed either to be fair.
  • Cedric: You seem to really hate him Mrs Potter. How did you end up together?
  • Lily: It’s Lily and he changed from an arrogant arsehole to a semi-decent person.
  • James: She said that during our marriage vows. Really moving ceremony.
  • ***
  • Lily: I’ve never seen Snape this angry before.
  • James: He can't stop teaching him! He needs the lessons!
  • ***
  • Lily: Your son is ashamed of you. For the way you treated Snape. Let that sink in.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Hagrid has...a brother.
  • Lily: Half brother.
  • Cedric: Right...my mistake.
  • ***
  • James: OWLS. Let's go.
  • ***
  • Lily: They're going after Hagrid. That bitch is trying to take him out too.
  • James: Well they can tr- SHIT!
  • Cedric: Professor Mcgonagall!
  • ***
  • Lily: He looks exhausted.
  • James: Well he has fallen asleep.
  • Lily: During your last OWL? Really Harry?
  • ***
  • James: I'll be back!
  • Cedric: Where is he going?
  • Lily: He's going to see where Sirius is.
  • ***
  • James: He’s at Grimmauld Place.
  • Lily: Which means Voldemort is baiting Harry into a trap.
  • ***
  • Cedric: What is she do- no...-wait SHE sent the Dementors?
  • James: Even I didn't see that coming.
  • ***
  • Lily: What are you up to Hermione?
  • James: That arrow in the tree answer your questions?
  • ***
  • Lily: Goodbye you evil, twisted bitch.
  • James: And hello Grawp.
  • ***
  • Lily: They got free?
  • Cedric: Yeah it was pretty cool. Ginny is powerful.
  • ***
  • James: Here we go.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Where is everyone? It's completely empty.
  • ***
  • Lily: That archway...I think we're on the other side of it.
  • ***
  • James: Harry don't touch it. Please listen to your friends. Don't pick up that prophecy.
  • Lily: No...
  • ***
  • Cedric: That's Mr Malfoy!
  • James: And the rest of his Death Eater friends.
  • Cedric: Harry, run.
  • Lily: They can't run. They have to fight.
  • ***
  • James: Focus Harry! Don't listen to Malfoy.
  • ***
  • Lily: Keep moving! Don't stop!
  • ***
  • James: Leave the man baby! Find the others!
  • Cedric: Duck!
  • Lily: HERMIONE!
  • ***
  • Cedric: She's alive. Oh she's alive.
  • James: She won't be for long. Our kids aren't doing permanent damage and the Death Eaters are playing to win. They need to get out.
  • ***
  • Lily: He's leading them away...
  • James: Good man Harry.
  • Lily: Oh no...Neville.
  • ***
  • James: ABOUT FUCKING TIME!
  • Lily: Now it's a fight you son's of bitches!
  • ***
  • Cedric: Dumbledore! He's here! It's over!
  • Lily: Calm down. It's not over till its...
  • James: ...
  • Sirius: ...
  • Sirius: Oh that bitch!
  • James: Fourteen years. You don’t call. You don’t write. And you pick NOW to visit?
  • ***
  • Sirius: I probably shouldn't have taunted her.
  • James: Shut up Padfoot, they're still fighting!
  • ***
  • James: Harry NO! Stay away from Bellatrix!
  • Sirius: Where are we?
  • Cedric: Life after death. Seriously though shh.
  • ***
  • Lily: He.. he tried using Cruciatus.
  • James: It’s war and he just lost someone.
  • ***
  • James: He's here...
  • Lily: So is Albus.
  • ***
  • Lily: No no no no please God no
  • Cedric: What is it?! What's happening?
  • James: Voldemort is possessing my boy.
  • ***
  • Cedric: It’s over. He's gone.
  • James: No son. It’s not over. It's now open warfare.
  • ***
  • Sirius: He's in such pain. Harry I'm so sorry.
  • Lily: I can't watch this. I can't...
  • ***
  • James: Now you know. Now you know why he's after you.
  • ***
  • Sirius: In battle. Isn't that what we always said Prongs?
  • James: Wand in hand.
  • Lily: Well you failed at that James.
  • James: You didn't exactly live a long and happy life yourself.
  • Sirius: God I’ve missed you two.
  • ***
  • Sirius: The mirror. I thought he...he never opened it.
  • ***
  • James: And just like that he's going back. Broken and beat up and torn apart inside.
  • Lily: He’ll be fine. He has to be.
  • Sirius: He's not alone. He's got friends and family. It just wasn’t us.

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry if this bothers you, but I just saw that one art of Reyna and Nico facing to the "other side"? Like what you actually see in the drawing is their backs but I can't find it in your art tag and it's driving me insane so if you could please direct me to it? It's fine if you can't though, I love your art aaaah

ohh i think you’re talking about the drawing in this huge comic?? i hope that’s the one :0

South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut : Sentence Starters
  • "Now come on children, don't be shy, just give it your best shot."
  • "What is five times two?"
  • "OK, now lets try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard."
  • "I'm Sorry ________, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
  • "Dude, it's a lady getting pooed on!"
  • "You're too young for this stuff!"
  • "Hey! It IS ________'s mom!"
  • "Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?"
  • "Let's start by building a big statue of me, right over there where that fat kid is standing."
  • "Hey, don't call me fat buttfucker!"
  • "Respect my fuckin' authority!"
  • "You need to watch your mouth, brat."
  • "I know I was mean before. But don't worry - I can change!"
  • "Dog-shit taco!"
  • "Oh fuck."
  • "Who's a fuckin' bitch? ________'s Mooooooooom!"
  • "Blame Canada!"
  • "I don't listen to hip-hop."
  • "Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?"
  • "I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him a hundred dollars."
  • "I'm just fuckin' stoked I don't have to pay him."
  • "Oh, that's real nice! He was your friend, you fat fuck!"
  • "Remember what the MPAA says; Horrific, Deplorable violence is okay, as long as people don't say any naughty words!"
  • "Suck my balls."
  • "What the heck is a rimjob?"
  • "I transferred from Yardale where I had a 4.0 grade point average."
  • "It's this V-Chip, I hate it!"
  • "I can't say any dirty words."
  • "And you can't say Shit?"
  • "I'm warning you!"
  • "She's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair."
  • "________, did you just say the F-word?"
  • "No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!"
  • "Why the fuck not?"
  • "What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody."
  • "How would you like to suck my balls?"
  • "Holy shit, dude."
  • "Get the fuck out of here!"
  • "Notice, that nothing happens."
  • "Success! The child doesn't want to swear!"
  • "Go on, honey. It's all right."
  • "Let me have some candy."
  • "Like you really need all that chocolate."
  • "We accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato. You have about three seconds to live."
  • "What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now?"
  • "I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two."
  • "I just want my mom to stop fighting everyone."
  • "For ________, I'll be an activist too."
  • "Some people say that I'm a bad guy, they may be right."
  • "Any minute now I will be born again!"
  • "What if you remain a sandy little butt-hole?"
  • "Hey Satan, don't be such a twit."
  • "Mother Theresa won't have shit on me!"
  • "Man, this movie gets better every time I see it!"
  • "I'll bet you a hundred dollars you can't light a fart on fire."
  • "This stick is on fire!"
  • "Oh my God, you killed ________!"
  • "You bastard!"
  • "How come you always want to make love to me from behind?"
  • "Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?"
  • "Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?"
  • "Sure, hon."
  • "Wait, before we put a message out, do a search on the word clitoris."
  • "It isn't like this film is the first troublesome thing to come out of Canada. Let us not forget Bryan Adams."
  • "Now, now, the Canadian Government has apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions!"
  • "Can I finish? Please, can I finish?"
  • "I think we're fighting Canadians."
  • "Canadians, Australians, what's the difference?"
  • "Fuck is the worst word that you can say."
  • "Fuck Canada!"
  • "Hey fuck you buddy!"
  • "Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch."
  • "I want to know where you heard all this horrific obscenities, m'kay?"
  • "I seriously doubt that ________ ever said: "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker"."
  • "Well you fucked your uncle yesterday."
  • "Goodbye, you guys."
  • "You told us that windows 98 would be faster, and more efficient with better access to the internet!"
  • "What do you think this is kid?"
  • "The word is "forensics"."
  • "Cancer is killing, Texaco's spilling, the whole world's gone to hell, but how are you?"
  • "I'm super! Thanks for asking!"
  • "Looks like we may be out of luck."
  • "Don't kick the baby."
  • "Hold me."
  • "Why should we fucking have to spell forensics?"
  • "There is no hope now, you must get out of here."
  • "Were is your God when you need him, huh? Where is your beautiful, merciful faggot now?"
  • "We can't leave without you! We don't know where the hell we are!"
  • "I can't face my mother."
  • "Our freedom shall be won."
  • "Though I die... La Resistance lives... on..."
  • "SHIT!"
  • "What the fuck are they fighting for?"
  • "When did this song become a marathon?"
  • "Here I come, God. Here I come, you fucking rat."
  • "Is sex the only thing that matters to you?"
  • "I hope you've learned something from this whole experience."
  • "Wanna see the northern lights?"
  • "You burned yourself to death by lighting your fart."
  • "You MUST shut of the alarms!"
  • "I fucking hate guard dogs!"
  • "I heard you the first time you British piece of shit."
  • "This is worse than the time when I fell asleep and you put your dick in my mouth and took a picture."
  • "The sun is shining and the grass is green. Under the three feet of snow, I mean."
  • "It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars and the world is still glad to be rid of him."
  • "That movie has warped my fragile little mind."
  • "What? Fuck you guys. I wanna get out of here."
  • "I saw the __________ movie. Now who wants to touch me?"
  • "Now keep in mind, 'Operation Human Shield' will suffer heavy losses. But don't lose your spirit men! Stay until the bitter end."
  • "Ah, you'd better get packing, bitch, we're running out of time."
  • "What? No? No! You can't do that! I have to go to Earth!"
  • "Thank you Clitoris!"
  • "Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb?"
  • "Man, this kid is fucked up!"
  • "Last words? How's about: "Get me the fuck out of this chair!" How's that for last words?"
  • "Did you bring the buttfor?"
  • "What, is that like finding Jesus or something?"

anonymous asked:

what are your tips on drawing children/preteens. do you just go on google and look up references? for some reason i feel like a huge creeper when i try to look up child/preteen references

Honestly, I am the wrong person to ask because I’m not really proficient drawing them myself…… and i don’t draw them often either sweats.. what I usually do though, give em bigger eyes, make their faces rounder and heads a little bigger n stuff, but it also depends what kinda kids ur goin’ for. 

here’s an example of my “kids” when i tried to draw jon and dami:

But I don’t think you should feel like a creeper for looking up references??? There is nothing wrong with that and I always encourage references especially in a spot where you think you’re stuck!! <: 

K these are older but I really enjoyed trying out some expressions and stuff even when he’s got like.. uber fat on his face and everywhere else but you can’t see it here so much

Really though, the cheeks kind of block off most of his face and I was wondering how to still get the expressions I’d want and I realized you really have to just use all the rolls and lumps to your advantage. If a character is too fat to get proper gestures, use the fat itself as a gesture! haha

6

5/16-12/16
Got a kind little tag from @literalprince (who is super stunning btw) to post six selfies from this year! I haven’t really saved many selfies so here’s the majority!
(My Ig : exohplanet )

I’d love to continue this by tagging the wonderful @the-lost-weaboo , @crypticcloud , @c0ffeekitten , my bf @grumpytrans (even though he HATES me tagging him in this stuff. I just like seeing his face.)
really anyone that would like to participate!! (If you’re reading this, that’s u!) tag me if you’d like me to reblog your things!