what have i just done to myself

Seven Hours in Heaven - Part 5

Punk!Ivar/OC

Warnings: Smut, Modern AU, Fluff, Ivar is a recovering asshole with a potty mouth, I may have a bunker prepared but promise to wait until I finish the next part before deciding to send assassins after me

Rating: Explicit (18+)

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6

5 months doesn’t even begin to express how much we miss and love you. I gave you all the words that I could muster up inside me. Because you did so much for me in such a small space of time. You gave me my first publication. My very first moment in life where I finally felt proud of myself. You gave me amazing people who cared and could see a voice in me that I didn’t even know was there.

But most of all, you gave my damaged spirit the will to live. And I wish, oh how I wish. Somebody, anybody, literally anyone..could of done the same for you in that final moment. I wish I discovered your genius sooner and not right beforehand either. I wish I could of met you and known what you would have thought of me. Just a sad little australian girl who writes poetry, aha.

Enough of that though. We shall love you and celebrate you until the end of time. You were/are so much to sooooooo many people, Chris. I have so much to thank you for. But you know that already. I’m forever in your debt. I’ll continue to honour you for as long as humanely possible. Your music is everything.

I love you.

forensicsfanatic7  asked:

Oh dear. Please take it easy and don't push yourself

I’m gonna avoid doing anything to make it flare up again, so no heavy lifting for today, when I picked up my heater earlier after I told myself “Hey, I need to avoid making this worse.” I mentally facepalmed realizing what I had done.

I just woke up now, and it’s around 1:15pm, so I’m well rested now, even though I didn’t get to bed until 6am-ish. My shoulders are still a bit sore, but whatcha gonna do, ya know?

I have joint problems, though they’re less frequent than back when I was being treated for Lyme disease in high school, so I know when I have to rest to ease the pain, and when I need to be up and moving around/tough it out so to speak. Taking medicine helped, so I’m basically running at the same capacity as usual now.

I’m gonna do some stretches to make sure everything feels alright and then decide how I feel, and what I want to do for the rest of the day.

flap-monster  asked:

jeon IS still ruining you? i thought it's finalized, it's like, done. is it not 'jeon ruined me' now, 'jeon wrecked me' 'i have accepted jeon as one of my lord and savior' 'jeon has found me' 'jeon is the light'

i don’t know what you mean

guk might’ve wrecked my ass completely but he’s still ruining me and will continue to ruin me in the future cos no matter what i do i can never prepare myself for what’s coming

so like as long as there’s new content being released and he keeps being the cutest bub i’m probably gonna continue getting ruined

it’s a never ending process i’m pretty sure

flynn-science  asked:

What a coincidence, I just made myself Flynn's Legacy jacket over the summer! Good luck with yours, and post some pics when it's done!

Oh nice, do you have any pics of it?   Mine will be my own design in terms of lights, but I definitely want to keep that long EL stripe down the front that his jacket has.

2

trade mistakes // panic! at the disco

  • Luna: Watch as I hold the whole world in my hands
  • F(x): ??
  • Luna: *hugs them all at once*
  • F(x): *softly* Oh...

@crankgameplays

“Stay Cranky” - 9x12" marker and pencil crayon on illustration board (about 16hrs)

The first few weeks of university have been pretty rough for me emotionally. I have my girlfriend for support (and I’m immeasurably grateful to her), but my ADHD is probably worse than it’s ever been and I’ve had trouble focusing on anything. In combination with my anxiety, it’s been brutal; motivation was dwindling and my energy was completely gone. Most days I felt like I hadn’t done anything at all.

This is the first thing I’ve been able to actually sit down and work on. It made me feel really good to actually finish something, and on top of that, I think it turned out better than anything I’ve done lately. Sometimes I still have my doubts about myself and my future, but I’m determined to make it through my first year.

TL;DR - Thank you for inspiring me, Ethan. Keep doing what you’re doing.

6

“I wear the number 42 cause of Jackie Robinson, for what he stands for and what he’s done to pave the way for people like myself to get a chance to play this game that I love. So I feel like it’s part of my duty to support of course. And especially what’s been going on, I think a lot of people have been missing the focus of what has been going on. So just trying to make them more aware, for others to know that these issues do happen on a day-to-day occurrence.”

Practice (9/27): Ward

  • Ghosts and Guardians that are close to each other
    • Ghosts acting like mini-heaters and nuzzling their Guardian’s neck when it gets too cold
    • Ghosts playing hide-and-seek with their Guardians, hiding behind their marks, in their hoods, or in their coats
    • Ghosts massaging their Guardians after an especially harrowing mission by rolling around on their backs
    • GHOSTS BEING HUGGED BY THEIR GUARDIANS
    • Ghosts fiddling with their Guardian’s radar to redirect them towards interesting finds
      • Ghosts, during relatively peaceful missions, picking up small trinkets (tiny flowers, funny looking rocks, etc) for their Guardian
    • Ghosts resting on their Guardian’s head when they get tired
      • Ghosts resting on their Guardian’s head and getting swallowed up by their poofy hair
    • Ghosts playing pranks with their Guardians- giving them the wrong weapon in the Crucible, changing their armor, mimicking their voice, etc
    • Ghosts staying up late with their Guardians and acting like their flashlight
    • Ghosts insisting on taking snapshots of their Guardian’s best kills like a proud parent
    • Ghosts stargazing with their Guardians, pointing out the different constellations and stars, making up new ones
    • Ghosts and Guardians being each other’s best friends- never needing to look behind because they know that the other is always there
  • Alternatively, Ghosts and Guardians who have a strictly professional relationship
    • No deep talks, just business- Guardians protecting Ghosts, Ghosts powering Guardians
    • Both understand that trust can be had with superficial care, that not being close does not negate their importance to the other
    • And then something happens and they start developing a friendship because fuck yeah
  • And then Ghosts and Guardians that have no relationship
    • Ghosts having Guardians that abhor their duty
    • Ghosts being kept in the dark by their Guardian, being left behind, being given minimal care
    • Ghosts looking at other Guardians, wishing that they were matched with someone else, harboring resentment for their Guardian
    • Ghosts who eventually lose their Guardians, whether because they turned to the teachings of Darkness, or chose to take a permanent death
    • Ghosts wondering what they could have done differently- but feeling little sadness, for their Guardian was nothing but a stranger

lmao so I’m very stubborn and never ask for help. I’d rather stress myself out to the point of being sick to avoid asking for favors. This is very hard for me but this is my situation:

yeahhh so I currently am a full time business student as well as bartender at a really slow and shitty restaurant. Today I made $20 in tips & make $7/hr. The checks they give me bounce every time I deposit them and this is what got me in this hole. It is the most frustrating thing bc they always have an excuse for why it didn’t go through. I would leave my job, however I have no transportation (I had to sell my car & my bf was supposed to give me a new one, but his life was rocked by hurricane Harvey in the worst way. I might get it at the end of this month.) I live in a southern, dead end town and I refuse to take the bus, bc last time I did, a man tried to shove his hand down my pants so no thanks. I’m also going through extremely expensive treatment and testing for the possibility of having endometriosis AND ibs. I’m on generic lexapro for anxiety and that’s all I can afford. I keep delaying receiving proper treatment bc my insurance sucks! I’m super anemic again & keep unintentionally losing weight. Idk how I work so much when I throw up/have diarrhea everyday and not make money??? I also care for my father who has degenerative disc disease and is disabled to the point where he can not provide for us. We are also shunned by the majority of my family bc they never accepted the fact that my dad is in an interracial marriage. Can’t even ask my grandma for help. The family that accepts/loves us all live in Panama below the poverty line.

anyway Irma is approaching with an uncertain path/strength and all I wanna do is get a train ticket or anything so I can evacuate before it’s too late. After what happened to my bf, I’m scared of taking a chance and staying. I went through Matthew last year and that was scary af! I’ve been on this site for 5 years and have never asked for anything. I’ve done everything to help myself, even almost resorted to selling pics on here to perverts… I feel like I’m just defeated right now, but I’m realizing asking for help isn’t a sin. 

I also paint portraits of celebrities and give ok advice (even tho my life is shit, I’m a good friend I think lol) so if you want something in return, I’m always more willing to give than receive!!!! 

If you’re offended, please unfollow me! It’s not hard! You’ll never have to see this from me again. Once I have this car and finish this semester, I’m getting the hell out of here for better opportunities to sustain myself and family. 

It breaks my heart to reveal this personal info bc I know we’re all struggling… idk if i’m doing this right but here it is:


venmo: rubymarietho


i love you all and understand if you can’t help, i accept moral support too :)

[LYRICS] Life by Rap Monster

Korean

술 한 잔 딱 들이키고 느꼈어
산다는 건 외로움을 알아감의 연속
주변에 사람들이 얼마나 있건 없건
내 안의 작은 나는 언제나 외로웠어
외로움의 반대말은 왜 없을까
사람은 죽을 때까지 안 외로울 때가 없어서일지 몰라
주변이 시끌벅적하게 넘치는 듯하다가도
혼자여야 하는 순간이 반드시 찾아와
Yeah that’s a life

우린 위험 속에 살어
이 아름다운 세상을 볼 수 있게 된 댓가로
방탄조끼도 가로등도 튼튼한 차도
우릴 완벽히 죽음으로부터 지켜주진 못하죠
모두가 태어난 순간부터
죽음을 담보로 하기에 삶은 더 아름다운 것
빛도 어둠이 있어야 진정 빛이듯이
거친 폭풍우 뒤 햇살 비치듯이

Life, fall in love
삶은 사람에 상처받고
바람에 외로워하고
We wanna be right
but always wrong
우린 틀리기 위해 태어난 걸까
어쩜 삶이란 그런 걸까
(내일은 과연 어떨지 우린 평생 모르지)
(이 건물이 무너진다 해도 피할 수가 없지)
We tryna be bright
but always dark
살 만큼 산 것 같아도
아직도 모르지

세상은 한 장의 데칼코마니
내 편 같았던 놈이 더 악랄한 적으로 변하곤 하지
종이 접듯 관계를 접어버리면 끝나는 일
걘 순식간에 반대편에서 날 비웃고 있지
아주 똑같이, 허나 아이야 화낼 필요 없어
어느 부모는 돈 앞에 서면 자식도 없어
우린 타올라야 해. 세상이 너무 차가워서
누구도 얼릴 수 없게 내가 날 해할지언정
어쩜 맞고 틀린 것 같은 건 없을 지 몰라
하지만 우리가 언제나 배우게 됐던 건 누군갈
밟고, 잡고, 지우고, 미워하는 것
Fuck all the peace and love 알아 그건 성공의 천적인 걸
너무 당연하듯이
이치인 양 떠 들려지는 저 인용구들이
날 더 슬프게 해. 그럼 뭐해 나 역시 말뿐인데
한낱 누군갈 스쳐가는 바람 뿐인데

Life, fall in love
삶은 사람에 상처받고
바람에 외로워하고
We wanna be right
but always wrong
우린 틀리기 위해 태어난 걸까
어쩜 삶이란 그런 걸까

살기 위해 태어난 걸까
죽기 위해 태어난 걸까
살기 위해 태어난 걸까
죽기 위해 태어난 걸까
죽기 위해 사는 걸까
살기 위해 죽는 걸까
내 이름 위에 붙은 명찰
그건 삶일까
죽음일까

Who knows..

Life, fall in love
삶은 사람에 상처받고
바람에 외로워하고
We wanna be right
but always wrong
우린 틀리기 위해 태어난 걸까
어쩜 삶이란 그런 걸까
(내일은 과연 어떨지 우린 평생 모르지)
(이 건물이 무너진다 해도 피할 수가 없지)
We tryna be bright
but always dark
살 만큼 산 것 같아도
아직도 모르지

English

I downed a shot of alcohol and realised
That living is just continuing to realise how lonely you are
Regardless of how many are or aren’t around you
The little me inside myself was always lonely
Why isn’t there an antonym for loneliness?
It might be because there isn’t a moment in one’s life when they aren’t lonely
Even though your surroundings may seem incredibly noisy
Moments when you have to be alone will always come back to find you
Yeah that’s a life

We live in danger,
In return for being able to see this beautiful world
Not even bulletproof vests, street lamps, sturdy cars
Can perfectly protect us from death
From the moment everyone is born
Everyone is guaranteed to die, which makes life more beautiful
Like how light needs shadow to truly be light
Like how the sun shines after a rough storm

Life, fall in love
Life is getting hurt by other people
And becoming lonely with the wind
We wanna be right
But always wrong
Were we born in order to be wrong
Is life perhaps this way
(We’ll never know what tomorrow will be like)
(Even if this building collapses, we can’t avoid it)
We tryna be bright
But always dark
Even if you feel you’ve lived long enough
You’ll still never know

The world is just one page of décalcomanie*
A punk I thought was on my side can turn into an even more vicious enemy
Like folding paper, relationships become a done deal when you fold them
In no time, they’re on the other side mocking me
Completely the same, but child, there’s no need to be mad
In front of money, some parents don’t even have kids
We have to burn ourselves up, because the world is so cold
So that no one can freeze us, even if I may hurt myself
Perhaps there is no such thing as right or wrong
But what we always ended up learning was that
Stepping on, holding back, erasing and hating someone
Fuck all the peace and love I know that those are the enemies of success
As if it’s so obvious
Those quotes that I hear being used like logic
Make me even sadder. But so what, even I am all talk
I am merely a breeze that passes someone by

Life, fall in love
Life is getting hurt by other people
And becoming lonely with the wind
We wanna be right
But always wrong
Were we born in order to be wrong
Is life perhaps this way

Were we born so we could live
Were we born so we could die
Were we born so we could live
Were we born so we could die
Are we living in order to die
Are we dying in order to live
The name-tag attached to my name
Is it life
Or death

Who knows..

Life, fall in love
Life is getting hurt by other people
And becoming lonely with the wind
We wanna be right
But always wrong
Were we born in order to be wrong
Is life perhaps this way
(We’ll never know what tomorrow will be like)
(Even if this building collapses, we can’t avoid it)
We tryna be bright
But always dark
Even if you feel you’ve lived long enough
You’ll still never know

(T/N: * A French term referring to a decorative technique of transferring art
            onto other surfaces. E.g. when you paint something on one half of
            a paper, then fold it over so that it becomes a drawing with two
            identical, mirrored sides.)

Trans cr; Jessie & Yein @ bts-trans
© TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

  • onision (2012): uhh excuse me? thank my fans? i don’t think so swetty :) i got where i am today because of ME :) because i worked hard, not because of my fans :) don't agree? then stop watching me and see what happens :)
  • onision (2017): IF YOU STOP WATCHING ME THEN YOU'RE BASICALLY CONDEMNING ME AND LAINEY TO HOMELESSNESS, POVERTY, AND DEATH. I'M NOT TRYING TO SAY THAT I WOULD KILL MYSELF IF I DIDN'T HAVE YOUTUBE, BUT I WOULD KILL MYSELF IF I DIDN'T HAVE YOUTUBE. AND IT WOULD BE THE FAULT OF THE PEOPLE WHO WOULDN'T PAY ME. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? FOR US TO DIE BY SUICIDE OR STARVATION? DO YOU REALLY WANT OUR BLOOD TO BE ON YOUR HANDS, JUST BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T CARE ABOUT US ENOUGH TO DONATE 50 MEASLY CENTS? SOME """FAN""" YOU ARE, CLEARLY SHOWS THAT YOU'RE A FAKE FAN. MIGHT AS WELL JUST BECOME A JUDGE AND SENTENCE US TO DEATH. IF YOU REALLY LOVED US THEN YOU WOULD WANT TO GIVE US ALL YOUR MONEY. THANKS A LOT, FAKE FAN. I WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE THIS TO A YOUTUBER WHO I CARED ABOUT. OH AND DON'T FORGET TO SEND FLOWERS TO MY GRAVE WHEN I SHOOT MYSELF OUT OF DEPRESSION BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T PAY TO WATCH MY VIDEOS.
Day One

‘40s!bucky x reader 

A/N: I started watching Outlander and it inspired me to write this. Also, I have no idea if it holds up to the books, I just needed a new show to watch and found it online and thought, “hey, why not? Scotland’s beautiful, I like supernatural, historical, sexy shit, let’s give it a try!” I stayed up until 5 in the morning binge-watching the first five and a half episodes. 

Warnings for this part: Angst, light fluff

Warnings for the series: NSFW/Smut, angst, fluff

Originally posted by caps-bucky


“Fuck you.” You spat the words out as Bucky pinned you to the mat. “I wasn’t ready.” 

“You think an enemy is going to say, ‘Oh, you weren’t ready? Here, let me get up and we can start when you are.’ That’s not how that works, (Y/N).” His face remained cold as you struggled underneath him. “From my position, I could get away with a number of things. I could slice your throat, put a bullet in your skull, break your arms, legs, both; I could even rip you of your dignity and fuck you right here without you being able to move.”

Buck.” Steve stepped up into the fighting ring. “That’s a little too far don’t you think?”

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Sanctity [m]

genre : smut / demon!Yixing
summary : You’re a preachers daughter, the image of virginity and holiness. He, on the other hand, is anything but. He’s a demon and you’ve accidentally summoned him.

“You know, I thought you would’ve held out longer,” he sighed in blatant faux-disappointment. 

“The holiest ones are usually more tough, not you though. Only a day and your back like a keening kitten, I have to applaud myself.” he finished.

Keep reading

Self Indulgence

Dear fanfic writers,

Stop apologizing for your work being self indulgent. I have done so in the past, myself, but I have realized this: write free, and write because you love what you write.

Stop worrying about kudos and comments, or hits and subscriptions. Write for you, write something you love. If you write something self indulgent, it just means you really poured your heart and soul into it. It’s something you should be proud of.

Your work is wonderful and so are you. Always remember that <3

chocolate & toothpaste (3/3)

Originally posted by tomshollandss

—- GUESS WHOS BACK, BACK AGAIN!!!

Sorry I took such a long time to post this, i’ve just been going through some stuff with family recently, and i’ve also had no inspiration to write anything so I’m sorry if this is bad, I just really wanted to quickly finish this series. So I apologize if it’s really bad, and sorry if I didn’t tag you :/ 

So basically this whole part is going to be (hopefully) some cute moments leading up to Tom proposing.

part one    part two


1.

“I hate that guy. I bet he wakes up looking all gorgeous and stuff.” My friend says as she stares at my boyfriend, Tom. I can’t believe that I got lucky enough to be able to call Tom Holland my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for 2 weeks, and only a few people know because I hate publicity. 

“Oh, no he doesn’t, trust me, he drools on pillows, and it’s disgusting. But he is also so adorable. I mean, you should see his bedhead, it’s the cutest thing.” I reply as I stare at him dreamily watching him talk to Harrison with a smile on his face.

I look over at my friend to see her looking at me stunned. I shrug my shoulders before my eyes widen realising that I just told her that I was dating Tom Holland.

“WHAT?” She yells, catching almost everyone’s attention, Tom and Harrison’s heads snap towards us. I slap my forehead and grab her arm dragging her towards them. 

“I accidentally told her.” I say sheepishly to Tom, he laughs deeply and hands Harrison $5. My mouth drops open in shock. 

“Were you both betting that I would be the first to accidentally spill that we are dating?” 

“Maybe.”

2.

“Thomas.” 

“Yes?”

“Why are you staring at your spoon like that?”

“Well love, haven’t you ever thought that spoons are just tiny bowls on sticks?”

“Oh please, not this again.”

3.

“Oh, is that the Infinity War script?” I say to Tom as I slide over closer to him, making him hide the script from him. 

“You can’t see it.” He hisses jokingly as he ends up sitting on the script.

“Yes I can, I have eyes.” 

“Oh, you are such a comedian, I can’t stop laughing.” Tom says glaring at me with a straight face.  

“I can definitely tell,” I state as I suddenly remember that I had a pizza in the oven. I get up to go get it when I’m pulled back down onto Tom’s lap.

“No, cuddle with me for a bit.” He says, making me sigh contently as I lean into him, carding my fingers through his soft curls. 

*like 7 minutes later*

“Do you smell something burning?” I sniff.

“Just my love, and desire for you,”

“NO TOM THE PIZZA,”

4.

“I can fit my whole world in the palm of my hands,”

“Are you going to cup my face, because if you did then that’s really unoriginal Tom.”

“I was actually going to grab your butt, because I didn’t know that your face was an option,”

5. 

Harrison walks into the room, the first thing he sees is Tom and Y/N staring at eachother, lovingly he thought. and then he sees Zendaya in the corner.

“Aw, they look so cute looking at eachother like that,”

“It’s not what you think, they’re having a staring contest, it’s been 2 minutes.”

“Okay cool, good thing I brought food with me.”

6. 

“I love you,”

“And, I love you.”

7.

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me Banana Bread Girl.”

8.

“I dropped a bar of soap on the floor earlier and I had a thought,”

“Oh no,”

“Well, is the soap dirty or is the floor clean?”

“Why are you like this Tommy,”

9.

“I think I need to break it off,” I say as I pick at my fingernail looking at Tom, his face contorting into one of shock.

“What? No! I don’t understand, what have I done? I’ll change, I’ll do anything, please don’t break up with me, I love you! I thought soulmates were perfect for each other? Please don’t leave, me you’re all I have!” He sobs as tears start to appear in the corner of his eyes. 

“Baby, I meant my fingernail…” I say softly as I walk towards him. 

“O-Oh, um. I’ll just go make some tea then,” He whispers slowly turning towards the kitchen.

I chuckle to myself and grab his arm softly pulling him into my arms.

“I love you so much.”

“EXCUSE ME TOM, WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S ALL YOU HAVE!” Harrison yells.

10.

“O-Okay, wow I didn’t think that I would be this nervous, okay. When I’m alone, I can think of many things to say to you, but when I get a chance to ask you, I go speechless. I remember the first time we met, and I stupidly called you Banana Bread Girl, but now, it’s one of my favourite things to call you. Look, I guarantee there’ll be tough times, I guarantee that at some point, one, or both of us will want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine forever, it will be the biggest regret I will ever have, and I want you to know that the next time I get on my knees for another girl, it will be the day that I tie a shoelace for our daughter. Okay that part as random and it didn’t need to be there but I thought it would be cute. Harrison stop laughing, I can hear you. You too Y/N, I’m trying to be really sweet right now. Anyway, I promise that from this moment forward, the only running you will be doing is into my arms, and i’ll never stop looking for your cold little hands to hold on the morning, there will never be a day that goes by that I don’t think to myself, wow, how did I get so lucky to be with the most beautiful girl in the world. And now, finally I will ask you the question that I have wanted to ask you ever since the day I was trying to eat my steak but tasted your banana on bread with honey, will you, Y/N M/N L/N, marry me Thomas Stanley Holland, and become an official member of the Holland family?”


OKAY SORRY IF THIS WASN’T GOOD I SWEAR I TRIED REALLY HARD

PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK I COULD REALLY USE SOME RIGHT NOW

I LOVE YOU ALL

strike through username means I couldn’t tag you :(

taglist: @uglygirlkk @thatangrymardleschick @davros2004 @brorescent @music-loving-reject @sammysgirl1997 @im-super-potter-locked @tomhollandgavemecooties @tronnoristheotp @wolfica @girlykittycat @spideyontherun @jessiesgirl5 @alexa-rose-stlinski-900 @keulstian22 @fangirlswizardwheezes @alepunga @sophie2003003 @neptuneluek @lostboykay @lexylockhart @djsporks @the-hero-of-queens @ilivefortomholland @briannareneea985

4

sneak peek of how lucifer’s thought process went when he tried to act like cas around dean

This Isn’t Goodbye - Stiles Stilinski

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Stiles Stilinski/Me (I legit have no shame for this)

Word Count: 6,893

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, It’s honestly just really sweet sex?, possible tears

Notes: So, talking to @minhosmeanhoe about doing something for the end of Teen Wolf and this is it. It’s hard to really express what this show means to me because it has changed my life. So much. So this is literally my rants, through Scott and myself, expressing what this show means to me, thanking it for everything it has done. The things I say are coming legit from me. This isn’t the end for us though. I will not stop writing for teen Wolf, for Stiles. It means too much to let it go away completely. So, just… enjoy my rant I guess. And me spilling my heart out about the show. And of Stiles. And me wishing Stiles was mine. 

PS This is unedited. And I don’t even care. So ignore all my typos because I know they exist.

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