what ever would make her do that

I Love Her

I love her. I admit it. After a year of the same thing, constantly denying the fact that I am indeed in love with my best friend. We were perfect, we could still be perfect and things were always amazing. The only issue was that she fell for another and sadly there was nothing I could do about it. So I dreamed. I hoped and prayed countless times. Soon my normal energetic days turned into depression and tears. Every night was sleepless or barely any sleep at all.

I love her and I don’t ever want to let her go. I want to have her and hold her. I want to love her. I really do. I’d treat her like a goddess and make sure that she was always happy. I’d protect her through everything. I just wish that she would love me back. She never will though. I may hope and wish and dream but no matter what nothing will change.

I’ve made a mistake. I fell for her. I am still falling for her and there’s nothing I can f**king do about it. I see how she looks at him. How she cares about him. How she wants him. She once looked at me like that. Like I was the only one to make her happy. I was the only one to calm her down. All I had to do was hug her, pull her in close and hold her tight and seal it all off with three words. Three fucking words that mean nothing coming out of my mouth. All I ever had to say to her was “I love you.” That’s all she ever wanted to hear. And now it means nothing.

I can’t love her. I have to move on. I can’t forever love the same girl. There’s someone else that loves her. She loves him more. She will always love him more. I am nothing to her. I will never be anything to her.

I’m done dreaming. I’m done hoping. I’m done praying. Nothing has worked. So now, I’m saying goodbye. Goodbye to her, to us, to love entirely. I don’t want to have this feeling ever again. I don’t want to go through this ever again. I want this to be the end. And now it is. This is how this chapter is ending. This is how all of this is going to end.

 I once loved you. And there is a part of me that always will, but I’m done. I hope things are good for you and will always be.

—  I love her, quotes-134
7

21 years of progression. I have very specific memories of when I was younger. I remember crying in bed for god to make me a girl. I begged and pleaded every night that I would wake up the next morning with the right parts in the right body and every day I woke up in disappointment. I remember going through my mom’s wardrobe on more than one occasion and showing her what I put on. I remember picking the girl characters in any video game I ever played.

For years I would have people refer to me as a girl with a variety of different names. I would ask them to do my make up or let me borrow their clothes. All I thought about, all I wanted to do was girly things.

Going through puberty and not having my body develop the way I wanted to was a hard blow to handle. Things were different when I was younger and still had a high voice and softer features.

Figuring out the way boys act with each other was a wake up call as well. I wasn’t like them I didn’t want to do the things they wanted to do. I flocked to the the feminine my whole life. If I tried to put it out of mind, it wouldn’t last long. This wasn’t a phase this was who I was.

I hid who I was for too long. I cared what others thought about me and I let that dictate my actions. I couldn’t continue this or things would only get worse. Finally transitioning was the most incredible thing that could have happened to me. Finally I was on the right track I was doing what made me happy. I was living my life authentically as a woman. I was being myself.

This is something I know I’ve not only wanted but needed. I don’t know where I’d be if I’d even be anywhere if it wasn’t for transitioning. I’m in a body I can be comfortable with and I can flaunt my femininity without shame. I have always been a girl and nobody will tell me otherwise.

Trans and proud.

Yellow Diamond “ What’s the use of feeling blue? “ Lyrics

Why would you want to be here, what do you ever see here?
That doesn’t make you feel worse than you do?
Then tell me
Whats the use of feeling blue?


Why would you want to employ her subjects that destroyed her?
Why keep up her silly zoo, oh tell me
What’s the use of feeling blue?



An army has a use, it can go and fight a war
A sapphire has a use, she can tell you what it’s for
An Agata terrifies
A Lapis terraforms
Where’s there diamond when they need her, Blue?
You’ve got to be a leader, Blue!



Yes, of course we still love her
and we’re always thinkng of her
But now there’s nothing we can do


So tell me
What’s the use of feeling
what’s the use of feeling
whats the use of feeling blue?



Oh, how can you stand to be here with it all
(here with it all)
Drowning in all this regret
wouldn’t you rather forget her


Oh,
won’t it be grand to get rid of it all?
(rid of it all)
Lets make a plan of attack
start looking forward and stop looking back.


Yes, of course we still love her
and we’re always thinking of her
don’t you know I miss her too?


But tell me, what’s the use of feeling
what’s the use feeling
what’s the use of feeling blue?

i really adore lovelace as a character specifically because she gets to be fucked up in ways female characters are not often allowed to be. this starts with her motivations when she first appeared already, that kind of all consuming need to have vengeance for what was done to you, which women really only get to indulge in and still be painted sympathetically when it comes to sexual assault or abuse at the hands of men.

but it extends to the pragmatic cruelty she employs in order to do what she believes will keep her team mates safe as well. so often, when it comes to moral dilemmas like the one in “time to kill”, women only ever get to represent the more empathetic, compassionate side ruled by their heart, whereas men are the ones to make decisions based on cold, hard logic. lovelace on the other hand gets to act with the brisk rationality and bitter confidence that comes with knowing you’re right even if everyone else would prefer you weren’t, and being able to take on all the blame and animosity that entails. it’s great. i love her.

What’s The Use Of Feeling (Blue)?

[Yellow Diamond]

C  

Do something, sing for her! Make her feel Better

                      C#

[Yellow Pearl] Yes my Diamond, Ahem, AHEM!

                   Am   E

[Blue Pearl] Uh…  Oh…



[Intro: Yellow Pearl & Blue Pearl]

E                    Am

Aah-haa-haa, aah-haa-haa

E     Dm  C    F        E

Aah-haa  haa-haa  haa-haa-haa

E                    

Aah-haa-haa, aah-haa-haa

Am                         G                          E

Aah-haa-haa-haa   haa-haa-haa haa haaaaa…



[Verse 1: Yellow Diamond]

Am                                 Dm    E

Why, would you want to be,   here?

        Am         C     Dm

What do you, ever, see here?

       C                                                            E

That doesn’t make you feel worse, than you do?

Tell me,


Am                                        E

What’s the use of feeling… Blue?



[Verse 2]

Am                                  E

Why, would you want to employ her

Am                Dm

Subjects that destroyed her?

C                                 B

Why keep up her silly, zoo?

Am

Oh, tell me

                F#m                 Am

What’s the use of feeling, Blue?



[Pre-Chorus]

G                                            

An army has a use, they can go and fight a war

E                                                            Am

A Sapphire has a use, she can tell you what it’s for

E                              C

An Agate terrifies, a Lapis terraforms

B

Where’s their diamond when they need her, Blue?

           E

You’ve got to be a leader, Blue!



[Chorus]

Am                                 F

Yes! Of course, we still love, her

G                            C          F
And we’re always, thinking of her

              G                                    E

But now, there’s nothing we can, do-

E

So tell me,

      Am

[All] what’s the use of feeling?

Am                        B

What’s the use of feeling?

Am                        B           Am~    

What’s the use of feeling, Blue?



[Bridge]

C

Ohh,

[Yellow Diamond]

                    G                 C

How can you stand to be here with it all?

            C

[Pearls] Here with it all

                                      F

[All] Drowning in all this regret?

                               E                       G

Wouldn’t you rather forget her? Ohhh~!

                             G                                  C

[Yellow Diamond] Won’t it be grand to get rid of it all?

             C

[Pearls] Rid of it all

       F

[All] Let’s make a plan of attack

E                                        G

Start looking forward and stop looking back, oh,



[Chorus 2: Yellow Diamond]

C                                 Dm

Yes of course, we still love her

F                           C               F

And we’re always thinking of her

C                                        F

Don’t you know I miss her, too!?

But tell me,

                            E

What’s the use of feeling?

                            Am

What’s the use of feeling?

                            E

What’s the use of feeling?



[Outro]

E                           

Mmm-hmm-hmm, Mmm-hmm-hmm

Am                                 B        

Mmm-hmm-hmm-hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm-mmmm….

anonymous asked:

What if Jamie wasn't an outlaw when he met Claire and Jamie could court her properly? How would Claire react to that when if she was still trying to get home?

Anon asked: what do you think it would have happened if Jamie and Claire didn’t have to get married? Do you think our hero could have find a way to marry the Sassenach or at least, make her fall in love with her without all the amazing sex?

Mod Note: I genuinely did not intend to continue this story (despite many requests), but I am finally bringing one of my first Imagine pieces out of the archives to explore these intriguing prompts! A bit of a slow burn on this one, but hang in there with me! -Mod Bonnie


Hail Mary

Part I  Part II


Part III

The canteen hit Jamie’s jaw squarely with a sharp THWOCK.

“A mhic an diabhoil!” he snarled, looking wildly around and finding the culprit at once. “Damn you, Murtagh, what in God’s name was that for?!”

“To see if I could get yer gob to close all the way,” the usually-dour clansman said with a smirk, arms crossed. “A wee brown-haired lass seems to have broken your hinge this morning.”

Murtagh saw the canteen coming and ducked, laughing as it clattered against the nearby tree. “Careful, ye wee smout—that’s the good whisky!”

Despite Jamie’s annoyance, the corners of his mouth were twitching as he returned to finish unlashing the bundles from his saddle; and, conveniently, returning him to the sight of Mistress Beauchamp carrying a bedroll to the place she’d claimed for her lean-to.

The man was right: Jamie hadn’t been able to stop looking at her all day: sidelong as they rode; catching her eye as they stopped for water; training his gaze on back of her head when she nudged her mount past his on the road to speak with Ned. Always and completely: she was all he saw, this day.

He had been drawn to Mistress Beauchamp from the first—when she mended his shoulder; when he held her at Leoch; but now…Christ, he was all but consumed by her; and how could he not be? Having slept with her in his arms? Remembering the scent of her hair? Now knowing the shapes of her under his hands; what it was to hear sounds of desire from her lips as she moved against him, seeking?

And above all, to know that she had stayed. Aye, she had slept in his arms, but any lass might have done the same with any man, to save her own life….but upon waking this morning, she was flustered, had made to rise, and yet at the barest suggestion, she had stayed there in his arms for nigh on an hour, waiting for the rest of camp to awaken. They both had assumed pretense of sleep, but neither of them had allowed themselves to drift away. Her breathing had stayed quick; he could feel it, warm and shallow at the base of his throat. She surely had felt his heart thudding away, with her ear resting so near it.

No, they hadn’t slept; nor had they spoken. They’d held one another

And there, at the last, he’d brought one hand—shaking—to softly, gently, slowly come to rest on the curve of her head. She’d gasped and made as if to—say something? Move?  Christ, touch him back?

And just at that moment, the camp had come alive. Before he could blink, she had gotten to her feet and the day began as it always did. Boiling water; folding, packing; bannocks and whisky; back on the long road through the glens; all just as it was every day.

But today, he couldn’t stop looking at her.

At Mistress Beauchamp, who had slept in his arms.

But God, he had to stop thinking about her. She was the finest woman he’d ever met —but he could offer her no future, as a wanted criminal. None. He wouldn’t subject her to the dangers a life with him would entail. He had to stop thinking about her.

He couldn’t stop thinking about her.

“Ye did a good thing, Jamie, lad,” Murtagh said, yanking Jamie back once more from grim reverie, deep brown eyes watching him. “Keeping the lass last night as ye did. You’re the only one that could ha’ done it for her properly.”

“Aye,” he coughed, “well, I… she….” He cleared his throat uncomfortably, unfurling his tent canvas.  “I’m glad to’ve been of service to her.”

Murtagh made a noise somewhere between a chuckle and a harrumph.

“And what’s that supposed to signify?” Jamie snapped, tugging at his stock. Hadn’t Claire nearly frozen to death last night? Then why, by Bride and all the saints, was the gathering evening so bloody HOT?

“Haud yer wheesht, lad,” Murtagh, now chuckling in earnest at Jamie’s discomfort. “Your secret doe-eyes are safe wi’ me.”

“Not doe-eyes…” Jamie muttered, feeling all of seven years of age.

“Hey.” Murtagh’s hand clapped warm on his shoulder, his eyes suddenly soft and unusually earnest. “She’s a fine woman, Jamie, Sassenach or no’.”

Aye, Jamie thought, watching the wind lift her curls into life as she rifled her wee medicine box, then made for the wood with a basket in hand, she truly is. And I can’t let myself want her.

And then the messenger rode into camp.


He waited until it was nearing sunset, when he knew she would be out gathering her wee herbs before the light went. He made for the loch under the pretext of needing a piss, seeing Murtagh watching him knowingly. Jamie knew without asking or telling that his godfather would keep an eye on the other men and prevent any from venturing in the same direction. He said a prayer, thanking God for the gift of this protector that had watched over him all his life, and continued down the path.

Sure enough, as the woods opened out into the waning crimson sunlight, he found her seated on a low boulder, looking out upon the loch, basket at her feet.

Seeing her, her unbound curls wafting sweetly in the breeze, his throat went instantly tight.

Christ, how could he do this?

Knowing her…. How could he not?

He cleared his throat and sang out with an attempt-at-cheery, “Take care no’ to fall in.”

Her head turned sharply, surprised, but a begrudging smile was already tugging at her lips. “Ned’s nowhere in sight—I think I should be safe.”

“Good,” he laughed—God, how it delighted his soul to laugh with this woman— “Best stay well shot of him.”

“But he’s such a darling!” She pursed her lips to hold back her mirth. “I’m not sure I can refuse him if he comes calling!”

“Well, do what ye must, lass,” he grinned, “I’ll be standing by to hold ye, anytime.”

She made a small sound of kind acknowledgement but looked away, suddenly shy.The silence rang between them so acutely, Jamie could hear the voices from camp, many yards distant.

“I’ve gotten some good news, Sassenach,” he said, feeling the letter in his waistcoat pocket. “I’ve…been pardoned.”

NO!” She leapt to her feet, mouth open and excitement dawning. “Oh, Jamie, that’s wonderful news!” She grabbed one of his hands in hers and squeezed it hard, practically bouncing with her enthusiasm. “God be bloody praised!!! I’m so thrilled for you! Whatever happened to bring that about?”

They sat on the boulder and he explained, grinning from ear to ear, the contents of Colum’s letter. Unbeknownst to Jamie, his uncle had been exercising all his considerable influence to get the accusations against him dropped. By some miracle, he had succeeded, and had sent a messenger at once to share the glad tidings.

Jamie read between to lines to gather that His Grace the Duke of Sandringham had been more than instrumental in getting the matter quietly resolved and Jamie’s outlaw record expunged. Jamie could just imagine the foppish gent drawling: “Anything for my DEAHHRRRR Jamie,” in those thick, unctuous tones, wet eyes glittering with anticipation.

The Duke’s predilections were well known, and such attentions had made Jamie supremely uncomfortable at the time of the man’s last visit. However, God bless him and all his house, if such affections had just saved Jamie from a life of flight and ultimately the noose. 

And ten times the blessing to him if it meant Jamie’s honor was now completely unhindered…that he was completely free to….

“What have ye been gathering, then?” he blurted, feeling his wame clenching in anxiety.

“Good Lord,” she laughed, startled, “you suddenly want to talk about herbs after such splendid news!?”

“My life is my own again,” he said, shrugging, “I want to talk about anything and everything.”

“Cress,” she said affably, nudging the basket with her foot. “Didn’t manage to bring back any last night, after all, what with one thing and another.” 

She paused suddenly, furrowing her eyebrows. She was leaning on her hand, the fingertips just inches away from his plaid on the rock. 

When she spoke, her voice was soft and full of feeling. “Thank you again for…for everything. You were so—wonderful about it all.”

Jamie felt his chest swell. “Think nothing of it, lass. You’ve saved my poor hide more times than I can count these past weeks. It was about time that I should do ye a service in return.“

“Did you get any real rest? I’m afraid I must have given you a dreadfully uncomfortable time. ”

“Och, dinna fash, lass. It was just fine.”

It was the best night of all my years, mo ghraidh.

“Mistr—”

No. Not Mistress.

Claire?”

Even sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, facing forward as they were, he could see her straighten and stiffen at the tone in his voice.

“I find meself—” he said, trying to force his lips to move at his bidding, but finding them slow and wooden,  “—that is—”

Help me, woman. See what’s in my heart. Surely ye ken it already.

Thank the Lord it came out sounding calm and clear:

I care for you, Claire.”

She stopped breathing. The breath actually left her, for more heartbeats than Jamie knew. The absence of it—that rhythm of her that he’d memorized, he now realized— was like whisky thrown on the fire within him, the flames roaring instantly up in fear and anticipation. He wanted so desperately to take her face in his hands so he might look into her golden eyes while telling her all his heart…but his hands were shaking and he didn’t think he could get out the words if he moved.

“I care for you as I’ve never cared for anyone in my life,” he said, mustering his courage only by focusing only on the wonder of the person beside him. “Your wit, your courage, your pigheadedness,” he laughed, his whole body glowing with sudden warmth. “The–” He clenched his hands in his lap, staring at them as if they held the proper words. “– life in you Claire, is unlike anything I have ever encountered. I havena been able to get ye out of my head since the first day we met. And then last night…”  

He heard her lips part and a long intake of breath, then a soft, inscrutable, “Jamie…”

“I ken I’ve perhaps no business saying such things. Even though I’m no longer a wanted criminal, I’ve no great wealth, and perhaps I’m nothing you ought to trouble o’er.“ He shook his head, hard. “But surely…surely ye ken as well as I what there is between us, Claire.”

He screwed up his courage and turned to face her. She was staring down into her lap, hands clasped. Her lips were pressed tight, her expression, for once, unreadable.

“I canna believe I’m alone in feeling it…this…whatever it is between you and me.” He laid a hand slowly and tenderly atop hers, his heart pounding.

She jumped when his hand touched hers, and with a jolt, Jamie saw that she had been twisting her golden ring round and round her finger.

Jamie stood at once and raised his hands in a gesture of apology. “Forgive me,  lass….”

Fraser, you dolt, have ye no sense to spare a thought for what the lass is going through?

“I’m so sorry, Claire,” he repeated. “I—I ken—that ye still grieve for your departed husband.”

Her lips went tight and Jamie saw her blink several times, hard.

“It…. isna right that ye should forget him, or even try to. If ye loved him, he must have been a good man. But I–I should–”

Courage, man. COURAGE.

“…It would be my honor to see to the care of his wife.”

Finally, she looked up, sharply, her eyes wide. She spoke in barely a whisper. “What?”

Will you marry me, Claire?”

She simply stared at him, in utter shock.

He went to his knees in front of her in the oath-giving posture, relinquishing all caution and all fear. He exhaled heavily with the relief of letting the feelings for her wash over him. “I care for you—"

I love you, he wanted to scream.

“—and now that I’m a free man, I wish to give ye everything I have. My name—my clan—the protection of my body….Claire, they’re all yours, now and forever.” He reached for her hand, trembling, dying to touch her. “If you’ll have me.”

“No.”

Jamie felt as though she’d pushed him backward into the icy lake. He opened and closed his mouth, unable to find the words for the pain ripping through him.

“I’m sorry, Jamie. I can’t marry you.” She bolted to her feet, took up her basket, and made quickly back toward the camp.

“Claire—please wait—I–”

This couldn’t be happening. This just couldn’t be.

He rose on shaking legs and tried to follow, reaching for her arm. “Sassenach, stop, please—I’m sorry if I was too—I just thought we—”

She threw off his hand and faced him only long enough to say coldly:

You were mistaken.”


Mistaken.

It should have been a night of celebration; should have been the most joyous occasion of his life–to know he was a free man, could go home at last. 

But it was hell, every moment, her words tormenting him as he played each memory he held of her over and over in his mind, every time they had ever spoken, touched, laughed, or cried together, culminating in the breathtaking intimacy of the previous night. Was it lust deluding him? Was it pure, lecherous desire for her body that had colored these memories and called them love?

No.

NO, damn it all!

He knew his heart. And hers—Christ, it danced across her face so freely, that—No, he was not mistaken.

Perhaps she was frightened; perhaps it was too soon.

But he was not mistaken.

It made seeing her flitting about all evening, smiling and pouring whisky liberally all ‘round the fireside — the collective mood of festivity ostensibly in honor of his pardon — all the more galling. She laughed and joked with the lads, chatted at length with Ned Gowan over documents, and generally charmed the whole camp with her golden eyes and glorious smile…everyone except him.

She’d spoken to him only once, when she offered him drink— “For you, Mr. McTavish?”— but she wouldn’t look at him.

She didn’t even know his real name. She didn’t want to know his real name.

He had wanted to drink, but hadn’t—couldn’t allow himself the escape of oblivion. This was his penance, to survive the long hours of the evening, watching her; the longer ones of silence and desolation, seething, hurting, long after the rest had fallen into their deep whisky-slumber. He needed to think with a clear head—to feel this, to understand.  

Christ, if he could only understand why…! If she felt for him as he for her, why deny him so cruelly? Claire was shrewd, but he’d never known her to be that. Surely she had some reason. Surely, if he could only speak with her…

In the dead of night, the grief and the pain nigh unbearable, his ears pricked up. Someone moving surreptitiously about camp.

Clasping his dirk, he slowly sat up high enough to survey the clearing. Geordie, supposed to be on sentry duty, was sound asleep and Jamie gave a silent prayer of thanks to see Claire moving quietly in the direction of the loch.

Tomorrow, they would reach the crossroads and meet once more with Dougal and the rest; there would be more folk for her to tend; more folk to observe their behavior; to hear about their unorthodox night together. He HAD to speak with her tonight.

He followed quietly, but when they were far enough away to be out of earshot of the sleepers, he spoke. “Sassenach?”

She jumped and whirled, and he instantly raised his hands palms forward. “I’m sorry—” he whispered. He came slowly toward her. “I’m so sorry, lass, I didna mean to frigh—” 

He froze, seeing her clearly now in the moonlight. “…You’re running.”  

It was not a question. She was wearing her traveling cloak, and the bundle she clutched clearly contained her medicine box. Her eyes were wide and her nostrils flaring with deep breaths. She was pointed toward the road, in the opposite direction of the horses.

“And on foot?” His voice was flat. Dead.

She shrugged stiffly, tensed as though ready to bolt. “Didn’t want to risk waking the men.”

“Where?” he croaked. Why?, he wanted to scream.

Her eyes were defiant, wide with alarm and determination. “Back to where I came from—same place I’ve been trying to go since Dougal took me captive.”

“Ye canna just go, Claire,” he said, trying to sound dismissive.

Her face was stone. “I can. I will.”

“Claire, I willna let ye do this.“

“Didn’t realize you were my jailer. What are you going to do, clap me in irons?” She was backing slowly away from him and his desperation was mounting with every pace.

“It’s wild country out there! Wolves and—brigands, and—” He was petrified, heartbroken, grasping at straws to keep her from vanishing. “At least–let me accompany you to your destination—see you safe!”

A sob rising in his throat. Christ, dinna leave this way.

A hoarse gasping as he reached for her.

“Please, mo chridhe–”

Ice in her eyes. “I don’t need your ‘protection,’ Mr. McTavish.”

A knife in his gut.

‘…the protection of my body, Claire…
…yours, now and forever.’

The sound of his heart breaking.

She was leaning into her frenzied defiance. “I did have a life before I fell into your lap, you know!” She realized what she’d said, blushed, and stammered angrily. “I mean—into the–hands of the whole bloody clan. I had a LIFE,” she repeated, “and I’m far past due to return to it!”

“Aye,” he said, low and precise, shaking with anger. “you’ve made it exceedingly clear that there’s nothing whatsoever keeping you here.”

She had the grace to look abashed. “Jamie…” He saw the muscles of her face and throat working furiously; the regret in her eyes. She even took a step toward him and made to touch his arm. “Jamie, please, I’m so…so sorry for—”

He shrugged back from her touch and skirted silently around the edge of camp. She followed him, hissing out his name, but he did not slow his pace until he reached the horses. He located her mount and unhobbled it, leading it a hundred yards away from the others, picking up saddle and gear as he want.

When she at last caught up with him, he plucked the bundle from her arms, fastening it perfunctorily to her saddle.

“Jamie, wait—”

Her face was upturned to him, so white and so perfect it made the pain writhe within his chest. He marshaled his features into his mask of impassivity and gave a cordial nod. “I wish ye the best of fortune in your life, Mistress.

She reached for him, pleading. “Jamie, listen, I—”

He pressed the smaller of his dirks into her hand. “Goodbye, Claire.”

And without a backward glance—though he wished to throw his arms around her and beg her, beg her not to leave—he turned on his heel back toward the fires, listening first to the silence, then the jingle of harness and the sound of hooves going quietly off into the night.

He didn’t sleep that night. He couldn’t. He lay awake, breaking apart, wrapped in a blanket that still held the scent of her hair.


[to be continued]

Can we please talk about how Lena smiled so much with the thought of making her mother proud? She has never ever felt loved or accepted by Lillian, and when Kara told her that her mother “has to be proud” of all she’s done, she just couldn’t stop smiling. 

The thing is, it would have been so easy for Lena to make her mother proud by helping on Cadmus. She could’ve felt ‘loved’ and ‘accepted’ for the very first time by doing what a Luthor would’ve done. 

But Lena chose to protect alien lives (remember when y’all called her alienphobic?) instead of finally being accepted by her mother. Instead of making her proud. 

Lena Luthor chose to do the good, even if it meant still feeling alone.

Highlights from the live chat with Starfan13

  • She has her own spider with a top hat. Did she ask Star to make her one, or did she go to the trouble of searching for a doll tophat that would perfectly fit her own ordinary spider, to match Star’s? Both good.
  • “Alex K. asks, ‘If you ever got to switch lives with Star, would you?’ Well, you would think the answer would be yes, but then I don’t know what I’d spend all my free time doing if I couldn’t see Star, you know?” I do know…
  • Her favorite of Star’s spells is the Narwhal blast, “because narwhals are so cute and pointy.” Same!
  • She has little hearts with faces magically flying around her room… I’d love to see the scene where Star made her those!
  • Mushrooms, “soooo many mushrooms,” are her favorite pizza topping… same. Also, nice to hear something that would not be Star’s favorite topping. She does always adopt Star’s favorite color, though.
  • Star made her this cute little flying beastie!!
  • There’s more than one, actually. And little flying narwhals!
  • Her favorite holiday is Christmas, because of the presents.
  • She likes horror films.
  • “I saw her in school, and then I, you know, I knew I had to spend my life following her around; you know, sometimes love is like that.”
  • She has a laser puppy named Señor Marco Junior. “Star and Marco gave him to me; isn’t that nice? They’re the best friends.”
  • She likes reggae and jazz.
  • Star gave her the wand-lamp, and even updated it so that half of it flashes–it goes from a fully lit-up wand to a half-lit wand and back.
  • She loves “lots of animals, but especially cats,” and says, “As a matter of fact, on weekends, I wash people’s cats. They don’t like it at all, but one time Star wore cats on her boots, and it was really a blast!“
  • She likes “all forms of sugar and candy,” and chocolate is one of her favorites. She also loves cupcakes.
  • Starfan13 has not seen Gravity Falls (if that show exists in her universe).
  • She loves pugs (though not as much as her laser puppy, of course).
  • She does her own hair.
  • She tried to pick up Star’s wand once, but Star told her not  to touch it and that it would transform into something that reflected her personality. Let’s hope Janna never gets her hands on it.
  • She loves bunnies. She likes all cute little animals; “they’re the best.”
  • When asked if she’s ever asked Star to take her to Mewni: “Uhh… I–no, I don’t want it to seem like we’re attached at the hip, you know. I don’t, I don’t wanna, like, you know, I’m, I’m cool; I don’t, I don’t need things. [laughs nervously]” Sweetheart, I’m sure Star would love to take you.
  • “This one time, I was in a tree throwing bugs and pigeons when Star walked by and said, ‘Hey, look at those pigeons!’ [laughs] It was soooo cute. Me and Star got that in common; we both love pigeons.” (Edit: Someone did point out she might have been saying “throwing buns at pigeons” here).
  • The ghost on her laptop is something she made herself.
  • (Asked if she thought Star and Marco would ever date) “What are you talking about? I mean, everybody knows that I like Star and she likes me; that’s how it is.”
  • She likes nachos.

okay you know what i think a lot about gryffindor marinette. I thinks shes perfect for gryffindor. even if she’s scared she will do what she has to! one of her more prominent character flaws is her tendency to act without thinking, or an inability to separate her actions from her emotions, which is also… very gryffindor.

anyways i think alya should be ravenclaw and everyone wonders why marinette is a gryffindor but alya’s not

alya would also make a good slytherin.

and this boy is a hufflepuff if i ever saw one

anyways

adrien is also an unregistered animagus which he learned so he could get places without people looking at him. but now hes friends with marinette

I don’t know. I dont know

anonymous asked:

Would you guys be wiling to do one that doesn't have Steve in it but is all about Steve? I'm thinking of Fury's initial meeting w/ Sharon asking her to protect Steve. Then, subsequent meetings where she reports relevant happenings. But since there are no relevant happenings (until TWS), Sharon's reports consist mainly of Steve's general comings and goings, his lame attempts to hit on her, and the embarrassing stuff he does when he's alone.

“Did you think I didn’t know?”  Fury raised an eyebrow.

“I think my recruiter didn’t look into it.  I expected you would know, sir.”  Sharon stood at parade rest, only allowing the slightest twich of her lips towards a smile.  

Fury hummed.  “It’s why you’re here.  And not why you’re here.”

“Sir?”  She liked Suduko, crosswords and thousand-piece puzzles.  Fury was more like one of the Fates speaking in riddles than anything else.  

“I chose you for this assignment because Former Director Carter wouldn’t trust anyone else with this detail.  I also chose you for this assignment because regardless of whose blood you’ve got, you’re the only one I trust with this assignment.”

Sharon let out a slow, steady breath, feeling the tension bleed out of her shoulders.  “Thank you, sir.”

***

Fury was mulling over a stack of paperwork, steam curling from his World’s Best Boss mug that sat at his left elbow. (She was pretty sure it was a gift from Natasha).  

“Your monthly report, sir.”

Fury looked up, and sat back.  “Go on.”

“Exercise commences at 0400 hours each day, and ends at 0600. Grocery shopping every other day, a—“

“—Single or multiple trips?”

“Supersoldiers only need single trips, sir.”

Fury smirked and sipped his coffee.

“Between 1400 and 1600 hours each Sunday he cleans and sings.  He orders take out once each week, only on Saturdays for his weekly movie marathon.  He’s reached the 80s, if I’m not mistaken.  There were a lot of lightsaber noises and don’t-you-forget-about-me’s coming from his apartment last week.  And the joke about his midday coffee run being ‘A mission from God’.”

“Anything unusual or concerning to report?”

“The number of times he’s watched Indiana Jones is concerning.”

“Oh?”

“He was reckless in the field before, sir.  I worry what new ideas he’s been picking up.”

Fury smiled, all teeth.  “This is exactly why I chose you for this assignment, agent.”

anonymous asked:

Hiya! I love your stuff! So I was wondering, could I ask what everyone's reactions would be to a really anxious and introverted MC? Like someone just asking something makes her turn red? ^^ Thanks! Love ya!

Yoosung

  • When you first meet him, he doesn’t really expect you to be so anxious.
  • Like, what? You’re not as talkative as you were in the chatrooms?
  • He’s not really sure what to do, and it feels kinda awkward and he gets nervous, so he just kinda talks about LOLOL. And he doesn’t stop.
  • Does he ever run out of things to say? And could he talk a little slower?
  • He does talk about you too though.
  • “Wow MC, you’re so pretty. Like I thought so before when I saw pictures, but you’re really pretty.”
  • You’re a blushing mess. Although to be fair, he is too.
  • At first you guys are really awkward with each other. Like it’s him talking and blushing and you blushing a lot and listening
  • But then you start to warm up with him enough that you aren’t so anxious around him, and he starts to understand how you get anxious
  • And he’s honestly perfectly fine with staying home with you and not going out much. Cuddle party all day? Perfect, he’s got you and his games
  • Whenever you do get anxious though, he tries his best to help. He wraps you up in a hug and holds your hand until you calm down, and gives you enough space to feel better
  • He even makes you dinner
  • He goes to the store and buys a whole bunch of food to make you something? And it’s always really really good?
  • He even heats up chocolate milk to make hot cocoa for you he always forgets to get hot cocoa mix
  • Then it’s back to cuddling and kissing when you feel better. He worries a lot when you get anxious so it helps him to feel better.
  • Although he always feels best when you feel better

Jaehee

  • Woah, you’re an introvert? She is too, she totally gets it
  • So that’s chill
  • You want some book suggestions? She’s got lists. Not to mention her movie collection made up mostly of Zen’s films and favorite TV shows she watches in her free time. When she has free time
  • You guys hit it off really quick
  • At first you’re totally blushing whenever she talks to you though. Like all the time
  • She’s really chill about it though, it’s really comforting and makes it easier for you to open up.
  • You tell her about your anxiety before she witnesses it. It kind of took her by surprise, but she doesn’t freak out about it, and she is actually really good at handling it
  • You spend a lot of time with her reading or watching movies. Sometimes she takes you out shopping too, unless you’re feeling really anxious.Then you guys just go out and get coffee
  • Whenever your anxiety works up she gives you space but is really supportive, like you want a hug? Got it, she’ll do you one better and get a blanket and hold you til you’re feeling better.
  • If it’s really bad, you two will sit on the couch cuddling with a movie playing, wrapped up in a blanket burrito together. She’ll work on work while you relax and watch the movie and cuddle, kissing your forehead as you slowly fall to sleep
  • She always leaves you a cup of coffee in the morning with a very comforting and loving letter ‘cause she’s usually gone before you wake up but she wants you to start off the day on a good note

Zen

  • He somehow pushes past your blushing kinda awkward stage really quickly. Wellllll you keep blushing, but he somehow knows exactly what to talk about to get you talking too
  • He honestly loves making you blush he does it on purpose. When he finds out complimenting you makes you blush even more, especially in public, he does it all the time
  • It makes him so happy
  • He doesn’t even care you’re introverted. That just means you spend more time with him cuddling and watching movies? Where’s the bad part of that?
  • Although you getting anxious sometimes worries him, especially when you guys go out places
  • He’s really understanding and comforting though, like whenever you get anxious he holds your hand or hugs you and is constantly reassuring you
  • He’s really gentle and kisses you lightly and it’s so sweet and comforting
  • Whenever you get really anxious he’s right there with you calming you down and hugging you close to him under a blanket though, making sure you’re okay and promising not to leave you til you feel better
  • He showers you with so much love and comfort and reassurance
  • And when you feel better he gets ice cream for you two and kisses you making sure you know he’s there for you and loves you and that you’ll be okay

Jumin

  • You were really really awkward at first with him. And constantly blushing
  • He thought it was adorable but he didn’t say it out loud cause he was being awkward too
  • Professionally awkward
  • It’s easier to start talking when you two are just with each other. You guys get coffee, or go on dinner dates. It’s still awkward though, at first
  • But it gets easier
  • And he loves you being more introverted. He loves it cause that means you don’t go out all the time or want to go out all the time, and he loves spending time at home with you 
  • He also loves showing you off in public. Especially kissing you in public, he really shows that off
  • But wait
  • You get anxious?
  • He doesn’t quite know what to do about that. The first time you start panicking he has no idea how to help
  • “Do you need water? Or medicine?”
  • No Jumin, not right now
  • He stands unsure for a while as you get more anxious before he hugs you and holds you so so close ‘cause he’s so worried about you and he doesn’t know what to do
  • You two melt to the floor
  • When you start to calm down he lets out a sigh of relief and kisses the top of your head
  • But he won’t let you go now. You two spend the night cuddling each other. Somehow you got a blanket and a lot of pillows. You wake up in his arms and feel so safe and happy with him
  • This becomes tradition whenever you get anxious

707

  • He tries getting you to talk at first, but when you keep blushing he gets flustered too
  • Silence isn’t too bad
  • But he keeps staring at you and asking you questions every once in a while. You’re flushing so red ‘cause he’s being so sweet, and you answer
  • Congrats! You guys successfully talk, although it’s totally awkward at first still
  • He doesn’t mind. You’re relationship starts quiet and grows from there as you get more comfortable. Then you’re constantly sassing each other and joking around
  • But you are still introverted. Most of the time you stay at home and you guys make up fun date ideas to do without other people.
  • It totally includes things like building pillow forts and nerf gun battles. Sometimes you do reading dates too Seven is really reluctant but you wanna read or movie dates
  • You get anxious whenever something happens. Like when Seven says things like “Now don’t panic but…”
  • “Don’t Panic” = “Panic” to your head
  • Of course you panic
  • He always forgets that you panic when he says that. But Seven stays calm and knows what to do to help although he’s totally worried about you
  • He gets a lot of blankets and makes a pillow fort
  • Yes. A pillow fort.
  • Then he brings you in and tucks you in with blankets and Honey Buddha chips and hot chocolate and you two stay there for as long as you need, curled up in his arms
  • He doesn’t let you know but he needs it just as much as you do to keep calm
  • He worries so much
  • But if you’re okay
  • He is too

Saeran

  • This poor boy
  • He’s so awkward he doesn’t know what to say and you’re awkward and don’t know what to say
  • He stands really unsure and is just really blunt with everything he says and you’re there blushing bright red
  • Eventually you both give up on talking and just play a board game. You suggest to play Life the best boardgame ever
  • Somehow you both lose at Life? yes flipping the board cause you got the twenty thousand dollar salary does mean you lose Saeran but it’s okay baby
  • I guess that watching a movie works.
  • You guys get better
  • You actually play a full game of Life eventually! (You took out all the salary cards and replaced them all with the eighty to hundred thousand salaries)
  • You both kind of prefer staying at home instead of going out and dealing with people, so the most you do for dates outside is go to a diner or get coffee or go on a walk
  • Scenic walks have been really nice for the two of you honestly
  • But boy do you get anxious sometimes
  • And he’s clueless on how to help
  • Like, he doesn’t want to make it worse? But he doesn’t know how to help?
  • He stands awkwardly and is worried about you but he doesn’t know what to do
  • So you just kind of hug him and nuzzle your head into his shoulder
  • He’s awkward and stiff at first but then he hugs you back, and he holds on tight. He might not know what to do, but he’s still really worried about you and just doesn’t know how to express it
  • So if hugging works
  • So be it

V

  • V is just really quiet to begin with too
  • But you guys don’t wanna be too awkward so you go and get coffee. He doesn’t notice you blushing all the time cause he’s blind
  • He doesn’t need to know how red you were.
  • What? You were blushing? noooooooo……..
  • You get more comfortable with him quickly. Not ‘cause you talk a lot, but because you are both okay with not talking a lot
  • When you two are alone hanging out, he loves to do things like feel your hair or your skin and ask you to describe it. The color, how it looks in the light, what scars you have or what tattoos you’ve gotten. What they look like, what they mean to you. And honestly? It’s really calming for you to do it and to feel his touch just in a really gentle loving kind of way?
  • He loves when you do it to him too, to trace his skin gently or play with his hair and describe how he looks. It’s a nice reminder cause he can’t see himself anymore. But he doesn’t like talking about scars
  • When you get anxious, he gets into a mix of super caring and super worried. He tries to hide his worry so he doesn’t make you more anxious
  • He finds it best to talk to you when you’re anxious
  • He hugs you and holds your hands and talks to you about what he remembers things looked like
  • “My favorite kind of flower to take pictures of were a really light purple, with really delicate petals…”
  • “I loved the mornings when the sun would start to rise and the sky would be a really light mix of pastel colors all blended together with lavender clouds…”
  • It’s really calming, and when you’re able to, you start telling him things too
  • “The sky is really dark now, but I can see the stars. They’re really bright tonight, it’s really clear…”
  • When you feel better, he does too
  • You usually get some hot chocolate afterwards and go to sleep or take a nap together
  • You always feel a lot better waking up with him next to you

Hiya! I’m a new admin here, Admin Sunflower. I’m Lilac’s sister and Peony’s cousin. I’m gonna be helping out with the blog, but I’m just starting so sorry if I’m not that good or if I go overboard or mess up on some things eheh ^^;;; I’m trying! I was happy to see this ask ‘cause I’m a really anxious and introverted person too (heheh ^^) so I tried to stay true to what it’s like? So hopefully it’s accurate? But, yeahh… Hopefully I’ll get better as it goes!

~Sunflower (:

so that wasn’t even douchey?
  • “You’re threatening my family.”

           “And you’re threatening mine.”

  • “Don’t make me stoop to Camille’s level.”


This just show’s Raphael above all wants to track down Camille so she can’t hurt anybody.  If she does, the Clave will turn against his clan, his family.

Meanwhile, here’s this kid in his way, crying for his mommy.

Any leader would have lost patience with Simon.


Originally posted by samann98


So what does Raphael do?  He finds Simon’s mother and tells her “It’s okay, he’s fine.  Don’t worry.”  He didn’t know Simon was gonna walk in on them.

So Raphael, ever the opportunist, uses this situation to make Simon as uncomfortable as possible and makes a big show of fronting that “Oh, you better get Camille, or else I might be able to go after your mother.”

It’s not that he WANTS to use Simon’s mother as bait.  He RECOGNIZES that would be stooping to Camille’s level.  But he’s willing to do even that for the safety of his own family.

He did what he had to do to get through to Simon, AND he helped Simon when he knew his mother was a huge concern for him.

Also, FYI look at the above gif from the scene in which Simon’s fretting over his mom being worried about him, and look at how intently Raphael is listening to him, hearing him out.  To any other older, powerful vampire such a concern on Simons part would seem so TRIVIAL and PATHETIC.  “Oh but my moms worried about me!” Please.  What other vamp would think that’s a good excuse?

But in the end, no matter what stupid shit Simon says, Raphael always listens so carefully.

anonymous asked:

As a female physician, do you find yourself having to be a little "aggressive" or "bossy" sometimes to get things done?

I’d say assertive more than aggressive or bossy. Assertive is what we call bossy men, so let’s call bossy women the same. 

I don’t think it’s exclusive to women though. All doctors have to be pushy from time to time to get things done. I’m not talking about being picky or rude for the sake of rudeness. I’m talking about getting people to wake up and do their jobs properly so that patients get taken care of.

The most common example in my office is when I have to argue with EMS that I actually know what I’m doing, because one particular EMT second guesses everything I tell her before she ever lays eyes on the patient. This week I had to demand that my patient be transported to TertiaryHospital an hour away where all her specialists were rather than to SmallHospital 30 minutes away, which had mismanaged her care previously and would likely make her worse because she’s super complicated. She rolled her eyes but it got done and my patient will be in better hands because of it. 

I also have to be a bit assertive in the nursing home because much of the staff in one of my homes are super lazy and refuse to follow the basic standards I ask them to follow. So if they call me and clearly don’t have a patient’s chart in front of them when I inevitably ask about their blood pressure meds or vitals or blood sugars, I hang up on them. They call back when they get their crap together. I hang up when they call me saying someone looks sick and they haven’t taken vitals or examined them. They call back when they’ve got them. It’s been a year and they still don’t have it together.

I once chewed out a nurse who announced in front of the whole nursing home day room that a patient had AIDS (he didn’t, but that’s beside the point) and that she wasn’t going to give him CPR if he coded. I chewed her up and down and sideways and reported her to the administrator. She almost lost her job. 

So yes, I can be assertive when it affects patient care. 

Check, Please

Would you mind doing an imagine or a one shot with either Rossi, Hotch or Reid where the reader and them are getting married and she wants to keep her last name and she ends up keeping her last name even though everyone else is against it except the guy you choose? Also I absolutely love your writing it makes me so happy to find someone that writes absolutely everything. I also get so excited when I finally have enough time to sit an read your work.

I can do this!  I hope that you enjoy it, because here is your one-shot, comin’ ‘atcha!


“You aren’t taking his last name?”

“She isn’t taking your last name?”

“Have you talked to her about it?  I bet if you did, she would.”

“What about hyphenation?”

“It’s just tradition, it doesn’t mean anything.”

The two of you had heard it all.  Ever since you entrusted parts of your wedding to Spencer with the team, you knew it was only a matter of time before they found out that you weren’t taking Spencer’s last name.

And they were trying everything in their power to change it.

“I’m sorry that that they keep bringing it up,” Spencer would murmur lowly in your ear.

But never did he outright say that he was alright with it.

“Spencer?” you ask one evening as you mindlessly twirl your pasta.

“Yes?” he asks as he takes a sip of his drink and smiles at you.

“Does it bother you that I’m not taking your last name?”

You watched his reaction closely.  You had picked up a few tips on how to read people better since you had been with Spencer, and it served you well sometimes.

But this time you had a really hard time reading him, and you were concerned.

“Has someone said something to you again?” he asks.

You didn’t want to tell him that Garcia had asked if you had asked him.  You didn’t want to tell him that she felt it wasn’t right that you hadn’t.

But it had gotten your cogs turning, even though you had stormed out of her office lair angry.

“No,” you state.

“You’re lying,” Spencer calls you out.

“It doesn’t matter,” you shrug.

“It does,” Spencer emphasizes.

“Answer the question,” you ask pointedly.

The two of you looked at each other for a while.  The restaurant faded away, and details of the wedding became obscure as panic began to flood your mind.

But Spencer’s voice pierced through the stress and the worry, and reached down to the scared little girl who was afraid of making someone she loved angry.

“It doesn’t bother me,” Spencer says.

You read his expression, looking for indications that he was lying.

But he knew what you were doing, and it caused him to smile.

“Really,” he lulls lowly as he takes your hand across the table, “it doesn’t bother me at all.”

His fingers began to play with your engagement ring.  The two of you looked down and smiled at it, thinking back to that beautiful morning where you had rolled over and he had been holding it between his fingers, his hair mussed from sleep and his eyes clouded over with anxiousness.

It had been so simple, and so heartfelt, and you had pulled him into your arms and covered his entire body with kisses that morning as the word “yes” tumbled from not your lips, but Spencer’s, time and time again.

“Taking a man’s last name is a very old tradition that took the place of a written deed,” Spencer began. “Taking a man’s last name after the dowry for the woman was exchanged was a way for him to imprint upon her that she was his property, quite literally.”

You looked up into his eyes to find him staring at you.

“You are not my property, Y/N,” Spencer says earnestly.  “You are my partner.  My equal.  Our last names…they don’t have to match for me to know you love me.”

Your eyes were beginning to mist over as Spencer lets go of your hand and brings it up to cup your cheek.

“You marrying me says all of that,” he says lightly.

And as you nuzzle your cheek into his warm, smooth skin, the waitress comes back around with fresh drinks as the smell of your food begins to waft up through your nostrils.

“Wanna finish dinner and get dessert at home?” you ask sultrily.

You giggled as Spencer licked his lips and darted his eyes up to the waitress.

“To go containers, please?” he asks quickly.

And you threw your head back in laughter as the waitress scampered off quickly.

youtube
Why would you wanna be here? 
What do you ever see here that doesn’t make you feel worse than you do?
And tell me - what’s the use of feeling, Blue?
Why would you want employ her subjects that destroyed her?
Why keep up her silly zoo?
Oh tell me what’s the use of feeling, Blue?
An army has a use, they can go and fight a war.
A Sapphire has a use, she can tell you what it’s for.
An Agate terrifies, a Lapis terraforms -
Where’s their Diamond when they need her, Blue?
You’ve got to be a leader, Blue!
Yes, of course, we still love her, and we’re always thinking of her.
But now, there’s nothing we can do!
So, tell me, what’s the use of feeling,
what’s the use of feeling, what’s the use of feeling, Blue?
Oh, how can you stand to be here with it all? (here with it all)
Drowning in all this regret, wouldn’t you rather forget her? Oh!
Won’t it be grand to get rid of it all? (rid of it all)
Let’s make a plan of attack!
Start looking forward and stop looking back-
Oh! Yes, of course, we still love her, and we’re always thinking of her-
Don’t you know I miss her too?
But tell me, what’s the use of feeling?
What’s the use of feeling? What’s the use of feeling?

Do you know what makes that Stydia scene in the jeep so emotional? Is the fact you can see just how much Stiles telling Lydia he loves her, meant to Lydia. I honestly believe he is the first guy to ever say that to her and actually mean it. Jackson would have never swallowed his pride and put his ego to the side to tell Lydia that, and Aiden sadly wasn’t around long enough to get to that stage (who knows if he ever would). But here is Stiles a guy that Lydia never imagined would mean so much to her, sitting in his jeep, holding her hand and begging her to remember him, and then he confesses that his in love with her. You can genuinely tell that he means every word, and what’s more important is that Lydia knows it too.

Sonamy: Sonic Forces Story

Hey! I’m not one to write fanficiton, I’m more of a reader than writer myself, but I wanted to write out this scene before I came around to drawing it. Because every drawing I did, I didn’t like and I would start over. So I thought, why not write it out first? Which is what I did! 

I am not a great writer by any means, this is like my first official fanfiction, and it’s not even that long haha. I didn’t try to make it as good as some writers do (props to you guys) and there are definitely some mistakes in there with writing errors and proper grammar, but I simply made it so I can draw the scene. 

It’s an idea by @the-amazing-p3a for an Amy confession scene in Sonic Forces, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since I read her post! So the credit goes to her! I also wrote like a little paragraph of what I’d think they would do when they actually defeated Eggman. Of course, it’s not great or long, but whatever!

It’s going to be under ‘read more’ because I don’t want it to crowd up people’s dashboard! :)

Keep reading