what even i literally have no words

(Not So) Tough

Hey guys,
hope you all had/have a great day! Enjoy reading and please let me know what you think. Love you! xx

Requested by Anon: “A Betty x Reader where you’re literally the complete opposite of Betty a total laid back badass but the minute you even think Betty is upset or something’s wrong you’re the biggest puppy ever and the gang find it hilarious”

Originally posted by dailycwriverdale

Pairing: Betty Cooper x Reader

Words: 645

I walked into my room, surprised that Veronica was sitting on my bed. “Eh, hey, Ronnie. What are you doing here?”


“Hey,Y/N, did you see or hear anything of Betty?”, Veronica asked worried. Her brown eyes filled with concern. “Why? What happened?” I looked into her eyes, confused because you heard nothing of her. “Well, you know we went to look for the playbook thing last night, right?” I nodded, not sure what she was about to tell me. “Yeah, erm we found out that Polly’s name was written in it. Betty was pretty shocked by it and now she doesn’t answer any of my texts or calls”


“Shit”, I breathed, feeling the anger bubbling inside of me. Trying to calm myself down I took some deep breathe. Now was not the right time to be angry, first I had to make sure that Betty’s alright. “Don’t worry. I’ll try to talk to her”, I mumbled, rubbing my temples. “What if she doesn’t want to talk to you?”, Ronnie asked with the same worried voice. “I guess, we’ll find out soon” I said, picking up my phone and texting her.


Hey, Bets
Meet me at Pop’s

“So, do you want to come with me or are you planning to stay in my bedroom?”, I laughed, trying to hide the worry I was feeling, while I grabbed my jacket. 

 
-


“I’m going to sit with Jughead”, Veronica decided, making her way over to Jug’s usual booth. I didn’t really mind since I wanted to talk to Betty alone. “Wasn’t sure if you really would come”, I smiled softly, sitting across from her. Her head snapped in my direction. She swallowed and played with her fingers. “Why-why not?”, she asked, her voice not as steady as usual.


“Ronnie told me what happened”, I said unsure of how she’ll react. My eyes scanning her face, worry written over my face. Betty breathed out. “I don’t want to talk about it”, she muttered, looking everywhere but at me. “Betty, it’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to be angry. Don’t bottle everything up. You need to let it out” I took her hand and squeezed it slightly.


“I’m just so.. Why did nobody tell me what really happened?”, she whispered. Her voice sounds hurt and disappointed. “It’s not just that no one bothered enough to tell me the truth. It makes me so angry that boys like Reggie and Jason are treating girls like that. They act like women are just objects, like women are nothing. I’m just so sick of guys thinking they can do any and everything with girls just because they’re popular”


“Yeah, I get that, believe me, I really do but please stop hiding your feelings. It won’t make anything better.” I still held her hand, not wanting to let go. “Wished I’d be more like you”, Betty mumbled, looking at the table. “What do you mean?”, I asked confused, wrinkling my eyebrows. My eyes searching for hers. “Nothing. You’re just so confident and it seems like you fear nothing. You’re so strong and I don’t know, you can handle these kind of situations a lot better than me” She sounded embarrassed, a light blush forming on her cheeks.


“Bets, don’t say such things. You’re one of the most confident and strongest person I know. You don’t need to be like me, I like you just the way you are. And believe me I don’t handle situations like these well, I just don’t show my emotions”, I winked and laughed. Betty also cracked a smile and mouthed a ‘thank you’. “So the tough and sassy Y/N isn’t as tough and sassy as she pretend to be. Interesting”, Jughead laughed. He and Veronica sat down next to us. “Oh, shut up, Jones”, I stuck my tongue out.

anonymous asked:

You know, I came to this blog for rinch but I must say seeing your posts on my dash is so much more than that. There is the quality fic and the adorable gifs but then there is also the text posts that remind me on a daily basis that it's ok to be who i am. It's ok to say fuck the gender binary this shit is not for me. So thank you! Following your blog makes my days a bit better on a regular basis and I appreciate it so much! <3 <3 <3

i… i’m…… sitting here absolutely stunned and crying literal tears you wonderful anon. I don’t even know what to say to something like that. For me this is by far the nicest anon message ever and i have to gather my thoughts a bit to figure out how to reply.

After several hours of trying to gather my thoughts (emphasis on the word ‘trying’ lol) all i can say is you have absolutely no idea how much this message means to me, really! i am so incredibly happy to hear my blog can remind you that it’s ok to be you! (i have tears in my eyes again btw) Because it most definitely is ok to be exactly who you are! Please always remember that ok. You are good enough and valid whether you have a gender or not and whether your possible gender is binary or non-binary. It has absolutely nothing to do with your value as a person. (i know you know all these things already but i feel like i want to say them anyway)

I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to send me this ask! I’m more touched than i can say. please drop by any time if you feel like talking, on or off anon, it doesn’t matter, which ever is more comfortable for you! I hope you’re having a wonderful day/night my dear anon.

I still think about the fact I literally had a dream about getting to go see Porter perform live back in like, May, and i was like haha yeah right he hasnt performed in the uk in like 2 years lol 

and then the shelter live tour happened, and fuck it was literally better than anything i could have even dreamed up because it was him alongside Madeon, fucking Madeon of all people, and even now almost 2 weeks later i’m still feeling the feels from that night tbh

literally. better than a dream come true

PLEASE READ

Ok listen up kiddos we’ve got very little time and a lot of work to do. According to some posts going around on this site our fight is not yet over. The electoral college doesn’t actually vote until December 19th which means we have 39 days to make a change. This will only happen if we all work together, and even then it might not work. But we literally have nothing left to lose. So here’s what I propose. Get the word out to everyone, and I mean EVERYONE. Family, friends, neighbors, classmates, co-workers. Tweet and message celebrities who are openly speaking out about how upset they are. Get them to spread the word and maybe even call or write letters to the representatives that we need to convince to change their votes. Then start calling, emailing, writing, and marching yourselves. Over half of the popular votes went to Clinton. Over half the country wants her to be our President. How can they ignore over half the country banging on their doors pleading for them to change their votes and help us? Like I said, it’s a very small beacon of hope, but it’s something. We have been told for over a year that our voices matter, so let’s start screaming.

BTS reaction to their gf surprising them backstage

Jin:

He would be so startled. Like his eyes would get super big and he would look and feel like he just saw an actual ghost. Once the suprise factor is gone he would be a overgrown child he is and just give you so much love and affection.

Originally posted by baebsaes

Yoongi:

He would try to remain calm even though his body would scream from the insides because of how happy he is. Only thing that would give away his excitement would be his gummy eye smile and occasional glances towards you just to make sure what’s happening is real.

Originally posted by markjin

Namjoon:

Another man child trying to act tough. He would try to look so manly in front of you, acting like it’s no big deal even though shy namjoon would rise and he would be blushing so hard and giggling so wide.

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

Hoseok:

He would scream and hug you sooo tight your liver might fucking burst. Seriously, he would look like you just saved 7 billion puppies from getting run over. I don’t even have any words to explain it it’s literally just it.

Originally posted by hobilu

Jimin:

Okay but Jimin would be so happy. His face woud go from shook as fuck to eye smile in 0.000001 seconds. He would just hug you for straight up a minute and not let you go till you are like “uhh jimin? are you good?”

Originally posted by jung-koook

Taehyung:

He wouldn’t even try to act like he isn’t freaking bursting from happiness like other members. He would be yelling, he would be kissing you all over your face, he would freaking piggyback you to the coach and throw you on it. This sunshine would be so stoked he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

Originally posted by jeonthegreat

Jungkook:

I am a firm believer would not even realize its you he would go in his spacey little mind like “Oh that’s obviously not Y/N” and then you would be like “JUNGKOOK” and he would be so shook like who is jungkook how are you here what is happening.

Originally posted by jung-koook

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :) 

-LEXII

Melodramatic, But It Turns Me On

summary: teenage!phan are at a sleepover and begin to have a bit of fun with the sex dices they’d found earlier that evening. 

warnings: smut (kinda)

words: 5.3k

-

I was gonna write more of illaks but apparently a weird 1am idea took priority and now . idk what this is laugHs oops

Im so tired I cant even think straight im sorry if the majority of this makes 0 sense I need 2 have a nap

This is probably the closest yall will ever get to me attempting smut lol appreciate it while u can x x

(if u don’t know what a ‘sex dice’ is click here)

-

Phil’s always felt weirdly privileged to share Dan’s bed whenever he sleeps over.

It’s not like it’s anything he’s a stranger to – quite the opposite really, but out of everyone, Phil’s the only one Dan will actually let in his bed on account of the fact he can actually have a decent night’s sleep without Phil taking all the duvet or accidentally rolling over and pushing him off the bed. That’s Kyle’s trick – explaining why he’s down there whilst his marginally less irritating best friend is up here under his duvet, sharing his mattress. It’s nice sleeping with the knowledge he won’t wake up either freezing cold or on the floor.

Phil’s used to them being the last ones awake – having been friends with a bunch of total fucking lightweights for the best part of three years, it’s become the norm for the rest of them to be down there, asleep. They’re wrapped up in empty sleeping bags and spare duvets whilst the only two who can actually handle their drink are lying side-by-side, a cut above the sea of empty bottles and shot glasses littering Dan’s floor. They’d passed out about half an hour ago, leaving the two slightly tipsy teenagers still giggling over what had been a contribution to the night’s entertainment along with the heated games of ‘never have I ever’ and one too many Malibu shots.

“Does this not feel weird to you?” Dan’s eyebrow quirks in Phil’s direction as he holds the two small wooden cubes in his hand. “I feel-… it feels- I don’t know- gross, kind-of,” he huffs out a chuckle.

“Why would-…” he squints in the darkness, “-… lick-… elbow-… feel weird to me?” he replies, a threat of sarcasm in his tone.

Keep reading

Idk if this is common knowledge or not but the nightmare in Red Belt was def. connected to the Mewberty ep in more ways than the hearts.

The music at that point sounds v. similar to the music that would play when Mewberty Star shoved a boy into a locker… Margo found their dead body in a locker… which was covered in Mewberty hearts.

It rlly looks like a representation of being gendered as a boy, in a way that is meant to look horrifying (being attacked by a giant moth? implication of death? horrifying). But they doesn’t have the words to express what is horrifying them so much and so what they comes up with is “I’m… wearing a suit?”

Tldr the nightmare scene is covered in gender-related imagery from the show & even uses music parallelling these scenes of Star literally pinning people down and shouting “BOY!” so it really is stronger evidence than I realized.

ephirae  asked:

Ahh! I just love reading your stuff because it is so! good! every! time! You take all these prompts and respond to them in a way that I just never expect! Especially your latest one about the powers that favours hold! How are you able to respond to these prompts in such an abstract (is that even the right word) way? I always seem to take a literal route

Ah thank you! I love taking stories into unexpected directions, so it’s wonderful to know that I’m succeeding!

One of my favorite English teachers, shout out to Mrs. Ladd, told us a quote from Hemingway. “All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”

That’s what I always try to do! 

In that particular prompt, the word that struck me most was “powerful.” In my experience, favors are what create and give power. It’s what politicians bank on and nepotism thrives on.

Thus, my one true sentence became “You know now (not then) that power comes through and from favors.” (X)

I tend to pick out one word and use whatever pops into my head as the backbone of the piece.

Or like one of my older posts, Devil Deals (X)! The word that stuck out to me there was “contract.” I’d just read that story about a dude who won a court case against a credit card company because he changed the contract to be no interest on his policy! And then I thought about that song Devil Went Down to Georgia and knew I wanted that tone in the prompt fill. Hence the true line:

“You know,” her grandmother says, “your grandpa was a fiddler. It’s no surprise he passed it on to you.”

So my advice is to not be afraid to dissect and pick apart a prompt! You don’t have to use all of it (never mention when you don’t, most people don’t mind!), just the parts that fit with what you find interesting. Whether that be the setting, a word, a color, or a name!

Concept: I lose the ability to know exactly what to say to hurt people. Instead of just making the choice not to act on that ability, I don’t even have it, and I don’t have to chose. I never once find myself thinking of the one thing I could say to someone that would destroy them. I don’t feel like a bad person for knowing how to be mean and petty, and I remember that knowing how to hurt someone with words, and believing or saying those words, are different things. My hyperempathy still allows me to connect with and read people very well, but it doesn’t come with the dark side of knowing just what to say to strike at someone’s insecurities. I never have the urge to be mean just to be mean, no matter how angry I am. My thoughts are always as nice as my chosen actions. I feel like a good person.

Just A Little Bit Longer Part 1

Pairing: Jensen x Female Reader

Warnings: Adult situations, not even NSFW, Fluff, if you have a trigger involving the ocean or water, this is based in Tahiti!

Word Count: 1198

A/N: This was literally the first fic I have written for this fandom, I have an unhealthy obsession with Jason Aldean’s music and the idea for this series came from This Song I highly suggest listening to it to fully understand what the series will be about. There will be surprises that are completely unrelated to it about halfway through :) I really hope y’all enjoy it!! A special thanks to my girl @avasmommy224 for helping me through this when I stumbled! Also just as a side note, we are going to assume Danneel is happy with someone else in this fic :)

It had been the best summer of your life. Three months away from everything that screamed reality. Three months of pure, unadulterated, bliss, and you owe it all to HIM. The tall, gorgeous, green eyed god who unexpectedly walked into your life a week after your plane landed. To say you wished you had it back, to say you wished you had him back, would be the understatement of the century.


You had dreamed of traveling for an entire summer since you were a teenager. Something about knowing you had no obligations, no work, no one to please other than yourself just seemed like a breath of fresh air. You were finally able to fulfill that dream a year ago. You had just turned the big three-oh and finally had enough money saved to take that dream vacation. You had rented a one bedroom, one bathroom beach house; excited that you were going to be completely alone for the next three months, or so you thought. That’s when he stumbled into your life.

Keep reading

As the Radio Plays - Part Two

Pairing: Lin Manuel Miranda x Reader

MASTERLIST

Summary: Fast-forward six years. What even happened to you?

Warnings: Cursing, as always. Also very mild blood.

Word Count: 3,942 (MAKE ME STOP RAMBLING.)

A/N: HA, LOOK, THERE’S A SECOND PART. I couldn’t leave it just like that, dudes. I’m not that mean. Also, MY FAVORITE HUMAN BEING BECCA is a fantastic human and I honestly have her to thank for getting me back into this and tbh, I don’t know why I have all of you followers out there (like I’m shook???? where did you all come from????? I’m literally trash what the heck) but i am so grateful for every single one of you and you are all such beautiful wonderful lovely people and my love for all of you is eternal.

——

“Are you coming home yet?”

“Soon, buddy,” you cooed to your nephew over the phone. “I’ll be home soon. Could you put Grandpa back on the phone, please?”

“You promise you’re coming home soon?” He asked you once again, still unsure of your response.

Of course, you couldn’t blame him for his uncertainty. You were in the process of “going back home” for the past six years, and each time you intended to follow through with it, you just couldn’t find the courage and simply chose to stay put, much to your family’s dismay.

With a sigh, you paused for a moment before replying. “I promise I’m coming home soon, Eli. Ten more days, kiddo.”

You’d made this promise to several other family members, but every time you did, it turned out to be just as empty as the last one.

“Good,” he said, the tone of his voice seemingly pleased with your answer. “I’m gonna give the phone back to Grandpa, okay? I love you! See you soon!”

A laugh fell from your lips and for a beat, you froze in fear. This time, you really meant it. You were really coming home this time around.

“Should I believe you this time?” Your father’s voice on the other line snapped you out of it, and you sat there nodding despite the fact he couldn’t see you.

“Yeah, Dad,” you answered softly. “I’m really coming home.”

After exchanging words with your father for a few minutes, you ended the call, your hands visibly trembling and your eyes welling up.

It was a long time coming, your journey back home. Your intention was to stay in London for two years, allowing yourself time to figure out what to do, to find yourself, to put yourself back together. But lo and behold, six years later, you were still all the way across the pond.

No, this time, it was the truth. This time, you were really going home. You needed to be back in loving arms. It wasn’t like London’s West End hasn’t treated you well, but London wasn’t home, and well, to be honest, you were homesick. Sure, you’ve made family out of the friends you’ve made, but it wasn’t the same. God, you’ve made up so many excuses not to return.

This time though, you were going home.

Your final curtain call for the show was quickly approaching, giving you a week and a half to mentally prepare yourself for your homecoming. Despite agony gnawing at you, the thought of going home granted you some piece of mind, knowing that regardless of how many years have gone by, you still had a loving family to return to. They haven’t physically seen you since Christmas of ‘05, and it’s been four years since they’ve held you in their arms.

It was six years ago that he’d left you.

Four shows and two Olivier awards later, you were still hurting.

Of course you were. How could you forget about the high school sweetheart that promised you forever only to leave you at the altar? How could you forget the letter he hastily wrote to you before he walked out? How could you forget the coldness in your bones the first time you slept in bed without him?

There was no such thing as forgetting.

Last you heard, Lin had found success in his art. Some show about something with other people, winning him a Tony. Maybe a few. You didn’t really care.

No, that’s a lie. You did care, but denying yourself any opportunity to dwell on him for longer than a millisecond was the only way to keep you away from the vices you had lurking in the shadows. Especially now that you’ve reached a plateau, no longer completely drowning in the depths of your sorrows. You’ve managed to stay afloat for the most part. It got easier to tune out conversations that praised him, to let their words fall on your deaf ears, but the effort you put into doing so never faltered. (Have you heard of Lin-Manuel Miranda? He’s a genius! – Yeah, yeah, sure he was, yep, whoop-dee-fucking-doo.)

But Christ, you were the biggest mess in the universe for the longest time. Well, you had every reason to be, especially after losing not just one, but two things that meant the world to you. And because all logic and reason had escaped you, for several months, you spent the entirety of your days in your dark childhood bedroom with nothing but a bottle by your side, clutching it as you slept. It didn’t matter the poison because nothing intoxicated you more than the thought that you were not enough for the love of your life. You slammed back anything that would keep you distracted from your very own personal hell.

The mere thought of him, even in fragments, elicited such excruciating pain, wracking your body with violent sobs, causing your head to throb, making your insides twist and churn. Memories of him surprising you with flowers, memories of him teasing you, memories of him chasing you around the apartment, they were strangling you. The sound of his name, the memory of his face, everything about him made you want nothing to do with home anymore.

Because he was your home.

But you were evicted at the very last moment, left abandoned and without shelter for no valid reason at all. At least, the reason wasn’t valid for you.

So you left.

You picked yourself up, gathered your things, journeyed across the pond, and somehow found new footing, making ripples in the stagnant waters of your life, recreating movement, reintroducing life. You skipped a stitch and left a tiny hole, praying for something to come fill it.

And now here you were, success knocked at your door, roses fell at your feet, admiration beamed at you from every possible angle.

Life had made a complete one-eighty, spinning you in the opposite direction, sending you down the right path because now, you were a sellout, and a damn good one at that.

This path, though, was bringing you right back home.

Back to the sidewalks you used to travel, back to the sounds you used to hear, back to the place where your story began… and ended.

It was time to start anew.

On Tuesday morning following a drunk night out with your closest friends to say your last goodbyes, you shipped yourself across the pond to be reunited with the city you’d loved since day one, reunited with the people who’ve supported you your entire life, reunited with the people that never dared to abandon you.

Your brother greeted you with open arms, scooping you up into his arms and holding onto you like he’d never let you go.

“Sam, I’m not going anywhere anymore,” you told him, trying to break free of his asphyxiating grip. “I’m home.”

The last two words almost felt foreign to you, considering you’d been displaced and didn’t exactly know what home felt like anymore. It shook you to your core as it dawned on you that you were existing in the very same space of the person who’d left you behind. Sure, Lin was most likely miles away from you at the time, but still, the thought of potentially encountering him somewhere in the city increased your level of anxiety.

“Yeah, dude,” your sister quipped, giving your brother a hard smack on the back in order to get him to release you. “Let the girl breathe.”

Finally back on the ground, your family crowded around you, each of them taking turns to hug you (each of them also refusing to let you go).

The excitement of your homecoming had finally died down once you’d gotten settled back at your childhood home, and you were given a moment of peace, allowing you the time to remember how it felt like to be… okay. Your bedroom had been left untouched, everything from figurines to stuffed animals to your old keyboard and posters were all in the same place. Nostalgia washed over you, submerging you in memories that your mind had tucked away.

In your closet, there was a treasure box sitting on the top shelf, nearly completely hidden behind a stack of old sweaters. Curious, you tiptoed up to grab it and brought it back to your bed, making yourself comfortable before examining its contents.

No, you thought as the tempo of your heart began to pick up.

Old pictures and crumpled notes and movie stubs and wrinkled amusement park wristbands filled the box to its brim.

The treasure box was one long running gag, something the two of you did whenever something happened. If it elicited any type of positive reaction, the two of you would throw a part of the memory into each other’s boxes. Why you did, you never knew, but now you were regretting it.

Regret suffocated you as you picked up a colorful greeting card, toying around with it in your fingers while you weighed the options of hurting yourself even more or being the adult you were and putting it away.

You were weak.

‘Happy one year, mi amor! I love you. Irrevocably so. Here’s to us and here’s to many more years!

Siempre,
Lin’

“Goddamn it,” you whispered, willing yourself not to cry but failing in the process.

As much as you wanted to stop torturing yourself, your heart had the complete opposite desire, urging you to continue breaking yourself apart.

There was a picture of both of you from high school graduation, clad in royal blue cap and gowns, your arms around each other, his lips pressed tenderly against your cheek as you grinned cheesily at the camera. You were so young, so innocent, so full of zeal.

‘WE DID IT!!! I’m so proud of you. And me too, but mostly you. Here’s to us and here’s to being college kids!’

Behind that picture was another one of the two of you in your first apartment. Eighteen years old with no fears of the future, no anxieties about what was to come, no clue as to where life would take you, both of you happily cheesing at the camera as he held out the key to your brand new home to present to all the world. On the back of the picture was an inscription from none other than the bastard himself.

‘It’s not a house, but we’ll get there someday… Here’s to us and our first home, and here’s to what the future holds, babe!’

Tears were distorting your vision, but you didn’t need to look at the picture anymore. The image of you and him in that very moment was already burned in your mind.

There was little gift tag in the midst of it all, the little note scribbled on it told you it was from your 21st birthday.

‘Happy Birthday, cariña! I have never seen a cuter drunk than you. Here’s to you and many more drunk nights with you dancing like no one’s watching!

P.S. I was watching you all night. It was the best.

Infinitely,
Lin’

Tucked underneath a movie stub (Fantasia 2000, of all movies) was the corner of a… wrapper? It was secured on a notecard with packaging tape.

“Jesus Christ,” you whispered to yourself, snickering softly through your tears as you held it in your hands.

‘I don’t care how tacky and embarrassing this is. It’s a MILESTONE, baby!! Here’s to us and here’s to doing waaaay more of this. ;)’

Yep, it was just as sloppy as anyone else’s first time. He was just so focused, so intent on doing it right, finding the right position, making you comfortable. Looking back, he was so serious, so focused on you enjoying it. It wasn’t until you told him he was perfect that he finally relaxed.

Funny how he could still bring a smile to your face despite him walking out on you.

An hour had gone by and you’d sifted through almost everything in the treasure box. You took one last peek into it and saw the damn thing glaring right back at you.

That fucking letter.

You knew you’d regret keeping it, but it was the last thing he’d given you, the last words he’d written you, the last memory you had of him. Of course, you decided that you hadn’t endured enough hell, so you opened it up, just as gingerly as you did on that fateful morning. The tears on your face joined the stains you’d left on the note from the first time around, and no matter how hard you tried to stop reading, you couldn’t help but continue down to the very last letter of his name.

‘Siempre.’

Right. Lin had no idea what ‘always’ meant. If he knew the definition of the word, you wouldn’t have been crying yourself to oblivion this entire time. But there you sat, wallowing in the pain you tried to forget for the past six years.

Without a word, you stuffed everything back in the box and shoved it back in your closet, debating between burning everything or keeping it just in case you wanted to remember how heartbroken you still were after all this time. You padded softly down the hallway with your purse on your shoulder and walked down the stairs, grabbing your coat from the closet before heading out.

“Where are you going?” your mother asked you, the look on her face expressing the worry she’s seemed a pick up since that day.

“I just need to breathe,” you replied shakily, bleary-eyed and broken. “I’ll be back later.”

You followed the sidewalk down Sixth Avenue, unsure of where you were headed. All you knew was that you needed air, you needed a distraction, you needed to be alone. After walking aimlessly, you found yourself getting on the A-train heading somewhere, probably north– it didn’t matter. You found a seat near the back of the car and you leaned against the window, trying to collect yourself, desperately telling yourself not to cry because for God’s sake, you were in a public place and it wasn’t the right time to have another one of your breakdowns.

Every time your journey came to a halt, you made an effort not to look at the people getting off and on, fearing that someone would see the state you were in and mock you about it. But just one time, the doors slid open and caught your attention, causing you to look up out of sheer curiosity.

God fucking damn it.

There he stood, his hair, a little longer than you remembered, was covered with a dark blue beanie and he was wearing that dumb gray pullover that he loved so much.

You tried to turn away to face the other direction when he started approaching your immediate vicinity, but the sudden movement of the subway cars made your head jerk backwards, slamming it on the window behind you, and loud thud echoed throughout the space.

“Whoa, are you okay?”

You were stuck between a rock and a hard place, unable to speak and unable to run (sprint, actually, because you wanted to sprint out of there).

In your periphery, you saw him reach for your arm and you instinctively jerked it away.

“Don’t touch me,” you spat in reply, your body turned completely away from him, eyes focused on nothing in particular.

“Ah, I’m sorry, I just wanna know if you’re okay,” he said quickly, lifting his hands up as if in surrender as he shuffled over to face you.. “Holy shit…”

“Lin, don’t–”

“Y/N, fuck, oh my God.” He was fumbling for words, his eyes doubling in size as he placed his hands on top of yours. “I thought you were in London…”

All you could do was glare at him, your emotions already getting to the best of you as you felt one single tear roll down your cheek.

Lin brought a hand up to your face and he wiped away the tear with his thumb. “Look, I’m– I’m so sorry, you don’t even know–”

“Please, just stop,” you cut him off, your quivering whisper barely audible over the sounds of the subway. “I don’t wanna–”

“No, please, can I just…” He gazed deeply into your eyes, and you saw the redness in his face, familiar with the look only after having worn the same expression for the longest time. “Can we just talk? Please? Y/N, can you just give me the chance to apologize?”

Absolutely fucking not, you thought to yourself.

With a shake of your head, you bit your lip and let out a long, trembling sigh. “You just apologized right now.”

“But you deserve an explanation,” he added, his voice pleading and helpless.

“I got the explanation loud and clear in the letter, Lin. I don’t need the live version of it because trust me, your words were clear and concise.”

“You don’t understand–”

“No, Lin! You don’t get a chance to make up more excuses for that day, alright? You don’t get the opportunity to elaborate on why you did it. I already know why you did it, you don’t have to remind me because I have lived every day for the past six years just playing that Goddamn memory in my head over and over again. You–”

“I did it for you, Y/N!”

Everyone in the car all looked up at both of you, but at this point, you didn’t care. You wanted the entire world to know that this successful ‘Broadway star’ was, in all actuality, the most selfish bastard to exist.

“I-I did it for you,” Lin repeated, this time softer than before. “Because you deserved better. And now look at you… I’ve heard so many good things about you and how incredibly you’re doing, well, how incredibly you did in West End, and I’m sure your success is gonna follow you out here–”

You couldn’t it bear it any longer. He was talking to you like what he did was merely a favor, trying to prove to you that he was the catalyst to your success, convincing you that it was his nudge that sent the dominos toppling down.

The only thing he caused was a spiral into chaos, misery, and heartache.

Like clockwork, the subway car announced it was coming to a stop and you decided it was your chance to leave.

As you wiped your tears away, you got up from your seat and grabbed ahold of a pole to steady yourself as the subway screeched to a halt. You wrapped your arms around yourself, walking past the crowd of people and stepped down onto the concrete.

“Baby, wait!” He grabbed you by the arm, suddenly spinning you around. “Please, I just wanna talk…” His eyes were round and pleading, the expression on his face seemingly distraught and torn.

You managed to break free of his grasp as you turned on your heel, dodging through several people. Hot streams of tears falling down your cheeks, you could hardly see anything. It didn’t matter though. You just wanted to get out of there.

But he was persistent. He followed you up the stairs and out of the station, still calling after you, his unrelenting pleas for you to just stop and talk to him penetrating your ears despite the loud traffic of Manhattan.

With an outstretched arm, you stood there, waiting for a cab, wanting nothing more than to just go home.

“Please,” he begged you as he reached for your hand, taking it in his. “Can we just talk?”

You pulled away without a word and got into the backseat of the taxi, giving your home address to the driver.

The car door suddenly swung open and Lin got into the backseat with you, slamming the door shut.

“I’m not letting you leave without giving you a proper explanation, Y/N.”

“Why not, Lin?” You cried in response. “You had no problem leaving me the first time around, so the fucking least you could do is let me do the same thing to you!”

Lin slid the window divider and closed it, giving both of you some privacy. (Except, because of your raised voice, the driver still heard every word.)

“I left because I loved you so much, I knew you deserved time for yourself to… to grow and explore and-and then you left for London and–”

You’d had enough of his patronizing words, tired of him trying to justify his actions by showing you everything you’d accomplished since that day.

“I left because I had nothing else keeping me here in New York! I left because I lost you and I lost my sanity and I lost my strength and I lost the baby and I couldn’t live in a place that reminded me of the fact that I lost everything I had.”

Lin didn’t say a word. He sat next to you, wide-eyed and speechless.

“What baby?”

Right, that.

Six weeks after the day he left you at the altar, you woke up one morning with a hangover to go puke your guts out in the bathroom, only to find blood dripping down your leg. The sight of your own blood was enough to sober you up to the point where you could comprehend the gravity of what was happening, and you immediately called out to your mother. She immediately rushed you to the Emergency Room and the bomb was dropped upon your arrival.

You were nine weeks along.

For those past six weeks, you chalked up your nausea and fatigue to your newly acquired drinking habit, assuming your ability to only keep down saltine crackers and soup was because of your lack of an appetite, crediting your late period to the fact that you were just so stressed and your body couldn’t cope.

It didn’t occur to you that you were pregnant.

But the verb was the operative word. It was all in the past tense. Just like your sanity, just like your love life, just like Lin.

“Y-you were pregnant?” His breathing got shallow and his mouth was agape, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He took your hand and squeezed it. “I didn't… I didn’t know–”

“How could you have known, Lin?” You spat out angrily, yanking your hand away. “You left, remember? How could you have possibly known if you weren’t there?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jesus Christ, how dense was he?

“I didn’t know! I was too focused on the fact that you left me and I…” Your voice grew small as you wept quietly to yourself, longing for simpler times, yearning for a chance to go back, mourning for the life you’d lost due to your own irresponsibility and lack of judgment.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured in reply, his voice quivering. “Baby, I’m so sorry…”

The taxi approached your place and you opened up the divider, handing him money to cover the fare, tipping him graciously as an apology for the chaos he had to endure.

Lin got out first, standing by the car door as he waited for you to follow suit, and you caught a glimpse of a stray tear slowly trickling down his face. He shut the door when you joined him on the sidewalk and you both stood there as the cab sped off into the night.

“So what now?” He asked softly.

“Goodbye, Lin,” you replied, unable to make eye contact.

And with that, you went inside your building, leaving him all alone out there, just like he did to you all those years ago.

I’m Not Her (Peter Parker x Reader)

Originally posted by akamatthewmurdock

Word Count: 846

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

AN: So in this imagine the reader is Liz Allen’s sister. I thought this would be a cool concept :)

You were eating peanut butter straight out of the jar, sitting on the couch home alone when you hear a knock on your door. You open it to see Peter Parker-wait what? What was your crush doing at your doorstep?! Sure you had talked to each other before but why-how? Peter freaking Parker was standing right in front of you, how did he even know where you lived? He looked really nervous and it was showing as he stuttered out his words.“Uh-hey, is Liz home? Y/N, what are you doing here? Did I get the wrong apartment?” 

As those words left his mouth, you could literally feel your heart sink to the floor. You could have just curled up into a ball on the ground, right there in front of him and sobbed for hours. This could not be happening. Not Peter, not the one guy you’ve been crushing on for years now. Why was it always Liz people wanted, never you. On the rare occasions that people do find out you’re her sister, they just use you to get closer to her. No one actually seemed to care about Y/N Allen, apart from your best friend. 

But you couldn’t act all weird and emotional in front of Peter, that wasn’t fair to him. So you just put on a fake smile, pulled yourself together and pretend like those words didn’t kill you on the inside. “Peter? um-no, you didn’t get the wrong apartment. This is where Liz lives. She’s not here right now, but she should be home soon if you want to come in?” You offered but your noticeably quieter voice betrays your attempt to hide your emotions. 

Peter didn’t seem to notice however (thank god)  as he smiled back at you and accepted your offer. “Sure, uh yeah I can, I can do that.” He mentally cringed at his awkwardness and followed you inside the apartment. He was also wondering what you were doing in Liz’s apartment, he didn’t know you two were friends?

 “So…are you and my sister seeing each other?” You couldn’t help yourself, you just had to know for sure. I mean, why wouldn’t she date someone like Peter? He’s smart, a nice guy, hot as hell yet also adorable at the same time. Oh man you were in too deep.

“Oh-no, no we’re just, we got paired together for an assignment. We aren’t going out.” His cheeks were a bright red, obviously embarrassed at the accusation. “Oh.” You were shocked, maybe you did have a chance with Peter after all. You had to try anyway. “Wait did you say your sister? Liz is your sister?” The surprised expression he wore was the usual face people had when they found out you, the nerdy Y/N was related to the queen of midtown Liz Allen.

“One of midtown highs greatest kept secrets.” You chuckled nervously and moved to the couch to resume eating from your peanut butter jar.”If only she knew I was Spider-man.” Peter thought, awkwardly following and taking a seat beside you. 

He turned towards you all of a sudden, seeming to look really confused at this situation.“How come she’s never mentioned having a sister before?”

“Liz has a very high status at midtown, that she couldn’t possibly risk losing by being seen talking to or people even knowing that her sister is a nerd.” You mumbled out with obvious hatred in your words as you put another spoonful of peanut butter in your mouth. “I’m used to it though, she’s been ignoring me in public since the first grade.” Peter looks at you with sympathy in his eyes, he knows what it’s like to be an outcast. 

“Well, she sucks.” He blurted out, his eyes widening after releasing he just insulted your sister. “I didn’t mean it like that-”

“No, thank you. Everyone, they all praise her like she’s this amazing person but she doesn’t even talk to her own sister in public because she doesn’t want to risk losing her popularity? I mean, who does that? You’re one of the first people to actually listen to me. Gosh, I could literally kiss you right now.” Your eyes widened and your heart started beating super fast, did you actually just say that? What the heck is wrong with you oh my god. Peter obviously heard what you said because he wore a similar shocked expression on his face.

“What?” He stuttered out with wide eyes. oh no this was not happening!

You had to save yourself now! Just act like you didn’t say anything, like you did not just tell him you wanted to kiss him. So, you pretended to be oblivious to what he was talking about. “Hmm?” 

Now Peter just look really confused, what was even happening right now. You decided to change the topic of conversation quickly before things got weirder. “Do you wanna watch star wars with me?” You asked hopefully, trying desperately to save yourself from embarrassment. 

Peter’s smile was wide after hearing his favourite movie. “I’ll always say yes to star wars.”

Fantastic Beasts Review

I have seen many movies. Some I liked, some I loved. And, a few months ago, came Fantastic Beasts And Where to Find Them. I didn’t just love it : it became my favorite movie. It’s been a while since I wanted to write down what I felt for this wonderful story.

First of all, Newt Scamander. I was very excited about having a Hufflepuff protagonist, but what I discovered was way more than that, I literally fell in love with this character, I even think I’ve never been so deeply touched by a character, including the Harry Potter saga. Newt is in the shadow of his big brother, but doesn’t seem upset about it, neither by the fact that, in his own words, he “annoys people”.

All I could feel from him was pure kindness. First, towards his creatures, of course; at the exact moment he was back inside the case, he is totally at ease in his movements, can’t stop speaking with passion, knows what he’s doing and, above anything, has this motherly look when taking care of his companions that had my heart melting. This, to me, is the exactly accurate description of a Hufflepuff : he’s uncommon, but passionated, and very skilled in what he loves, that is to say taking care and educating. Plus, even if the mating dance scene was a comic part, a bit awkward, I loved it. I mean, he learnt the erumpent’s mating dance and didn’t have any trouble doing it.

He has this delicacy, this open mind and this sensitivity that makes him an incredible and surprising character. He certainly isn’t the happiest one around : it is clear that he feels guilty for the obscurus/little girl’s death and it seems he has been hurt by Leta Lestrange who appeared to be his closest friend. He could have broke down, been embittered, but chose to remain strong, helpful and sharing, as with Jacob who became his friend. I was deeply touched by his sensitivity, the way he politely asks Queenie to stop reading his mind, the way he asked Credence if he could come closer, his understanding of his suffering.

Speaking about Jacob, how can you not love him ? He may be the main humorous touch, his amazement for the magical society is a delight. In a way, he is the spectator that got to be in the movie. The way he pursues his dream is a great lesson, as of his loyalty and sense of justice.

The first time I saw the movie, I also fell in love with Queenie. Just like Newt, she is the little sister that “didn’t make it” in life : she doesn’t have a great job as she said when referring to Tina as the career girl, she is underestimated plus, and I believe this is due to the period, people tend to think she is nothing more than a very beautiful woman. I was glad we knew quickly for her gift of Legilimens, and glad that she used it for good reasons. She may not control it, and surely suffers from it (let’s face it, how many thoughts on her beauty did she have to endure ?) but still, she is very attentionated and kind, understanding.

And Tina, oh Tina… She has very strong ethic, a high sense of justice and is very protective towards people. I know Newt and her are supposed to end up together, and I must say I will be so glad when it happens. To me, Tina is the optimistic one, this kind of people who will stand for what they believe is right, even if they’re the last ones doing it. She is the change, the justice, and it was a pleasure to see her let go of her edgy face and enjoy the adventure.

Credence and his obscurus are the perfect embodiment of evil. Perfect, because he is not evil, there is nothing bad in him appart from the obscurus, He’s innofensive and desperate for help. His development of an obscurus is due to all the bad treatments he has accumulated, and this metaphor was way stronger than de Dementors one, to me. Credence is not the bad one, Credence is the result of all the bad ones. He shows that even on the sweetest and innofensive person, accumulating bad treatment will result in a very dangerous explosion.

Originally posted by trechos-of-books

I know this movie is my favorite of all. I know it because, when times get hard, when I have difficulties seeing beauty in the world, in people, all I have to do is think of these wonderful characters. Think about these messages. About that case.

My response on a message board to a lady who told me that because of my sexuality, I wouldn't inherit the kingdom of God:

The Bible says many, many things. Do you realize that the word “homosexuality” wasn’t even a word until 1868? The problem with all you “the Bible says” folks is that you really don’t know what the Bible says. You read the most current interpretation or translation of it, and you read it literally. You teach it to others and they teach it to others, and voila, you have a bunch of well-intentioned people that are seriously misinformed. To truly understand the passages that unaffirming Christians use to condemn gay people, one must first go back and study those verses in their original texts. Those said passages referred to male temple prostitution that was carried out in pagan worship to Molech. Some also referred to pedastery, which was sex that was between a young slave boy and his master. In all these cases, the same sex acts were in addition to the sex these men were already having with their wives and concubines. The sin was in the fact that it was against their nature to have gay sex- they were straight, married men. They simply were overcome with their insatiable appetite for lust- so much so that they had sex with young slave boys. Another sin was partaking in orgies with male temple prostitutes. These were pagan rituals, as in worshiping false gods. None of this has anything to do with loving, committed same sex relationships and I think we can all agree it was wrong. I will agree that some gay people are promiscuous, as are straight people. But gay people are also capable of having a loving, committed, monogamous relationship- just as straight people are. If you would open your heart and mind to the fact that we are all God’s creation and that He loves and cherishes us all the same, no matter how different we are, I think you would find that God will bless you for it. I don’t know why God created me this way. What I do know is that He is God, He is sovereign, and He doesn’t make mistakes. You may not be too certain of my salvation, but that’s okay, because I am. I know the author and perfector of my salvation. I am certain of my identity in Christ. Instead of condemning entire people groups to Hell, perhaps a better thing to do would be to get serious about studying the Bible in the original text and learning more about this subject. When Christians truly begin to study this topic and hear the truth, instead of simply regurgitating what they’ve always heard, that is when all this hateful, divisive nonsense will end and true Christian unity, love, and inclusion can begin.

me: thinks of a fic idea, literally doesn’t have any kind of plot line planned out, hasn’t written a word down, isn’t sure what will actually happen or how it will end, the very limited story only exists in my mind, should not tell anyone i have started a new fic to get peoples hopes up for a piece of writing that doesn’t even exist yet 

also me:

Moana

so I finally got to see it today (in New Zealand it came out like a month later than the rest of the world) and I literally cried the entire way through.

Like, Moana is honestly just such a pure and strong girl, that part when her mum HELPS her to pack when she’s about to go WITHOUT EVEN SAYING A WORD and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaashjsdhagsdjhg Maui wow what do I even say also the soundtrack was so good and

that shiny crab.

But what really got me: the representation of Polynesian girls in Disney.

I live in New Zealand right (which is in Polynesia, for those who aren’t good with geography) and while I have no Polynesian decent myself, I look after and mentor lil Samoan and Maori and Tongan and Fijian girls at a day care centre. They all love disney princesses so much, and honestly the thought that they can say “I’m being Moana, I look like her” when playing princesses is just THE BEST THING EVER. They’ll be singing the songs, and looking up to Moana as a role model who shares not just their culture, but also their looks, and ugh here I am crying again.

So yeah I loved Moana

Hi, I’m Tech.

and guys this is a Confessions blog.
we’re not banning controversial topics because they’re controversial. that makes no sense. We’re not banning ANY topics. We stop accepting some at times because we just have too many. but we don’t BAN them.

and tbh I’m not even sure banning for bullying is a thing we could do because pretty sure majority of people on here would get banned because /WE/ can’t be the sole judges of such things. Something that offends me, might not offend you and vice versa so theres literally no way to be fair, we’d have to take everyone at their word and ban anyone reported because asking questions wouldn’t work well. 

So, with this kind of blog theres going to be arguments and disagreements and everyone knows what they’re signing up for when they submit confessions, thats why the process is ANONYMOUS. The best way to deal with assholes in the comments, is to ignore them and leave them to their asshole ways. Don’t let them get a rise out of you.