what else um

700 Puffles

Ok, so, when I was a kid, I used to get up to a lot of dumb shenanigans on Club Penguin. I think this was around third or fourth grade; I did a lot of trolly things then. Some of the bans and glitches they had to fix around that time period were because of me and some of my online friends at the time.

We figured out pretty quickly that most of the like, your base-level curse words, y'know the amateur curse words, they’re all BANNED. So we started coming up with more and more inventive ways to express our feelings to the public, so that’s why every once in a while they would roll out an update, and it’s like, “the term ‘bitchbaby’ is now banned”.

And um, what else did I do?

Oh right, so do you know how they had those expansion areas every once in a while? And there would be those little zones and each zone had the same default shop that they copy-and-pasted over.

But there was this one expansion area… it was a cave or mine shaft or something like that. The default shop that they had there, it was Real Glitchy. So I figured out that if you buy seven puffles it gives you some ridiculous number for the price of TWO. So what I did:

I BOUGHT 700 PUFFLES…. And then I gifted them to the other person in the shop whose name I didn’t know and then I waited. And then I forgot about that for, quite a while, and then some time a week later I got a very angry email from said person, with a screenshot of their home, which was floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall, just. Fur. And googly eyes. Like you could see nothing else, it was just puffle everywhere. They were rendering in and out of walls, like some of them were just plain feet, it was – it was an abomination.

And apparently once I read the email their main complaint? Not even the fact that I ruined their fucking household! It was the fact that when they opened the client and saw that, it CRASHED. Their Club Penguin client crashed, and when they opened their house and it loaded and there were seven hundred puffles.

I don’t know if you guys know this but puffles, as cute as they look (at least to some people), the sounds they make are not quite as cute. Especially when there’s seven hundred of them layered on top of each other, rendering in and out of walls emitting a sound collectively scary enough to get Lucifer to piss himself.

And yeah. That’s the story of why there’s a limit of 50 puffles that you can buy.

Dear Evan Hansen,
  • Today is going to be a good day, and here’s why,
  • Because today, not matter what else, um, today at least you’re you - no hiding, no lying, just you - and that’s- that’s enough. Maybe someday, everything that happened, maybe it will all feel like a distant memory. Maybe someday, no one will even remember The Connor Project, or me.
  • But maybe someday, some other kid will be standing here, staring out at the trees, feeling so alone, wondering if maybe the world might look different from all the way up there. Better.
  • And maybe he’ll start climbing one branch at a time and he’ll keep going - even when it feels like he can’t find another foothold - even when it feels… hopeless. Like every thing is telling him to let go, this time. Maybe this time, he won’t let go.
  • He’ll hold on. He’ll hold on, and he’ll keep going, keep going till he sees the sun.
  • All I see is sky, for forever.

An angsty hc I’ve been thinking about for a couple of days now,

One day Cass finds an old youtube video of the Flying Graysons and excitedly goes and asks Dick if he could teach her, because she thinks that it looks like dancing in mid air

And Dick is over the moon because of course he would love to teach her how to use the trapeze and so he goes and sets everything up and helps her get ready and he’s so happy

But then he gets her up there and freezes

Because the last time he saw somebody he loved up on the trapeze he had also watched them fall

One Gift

They had agreed on only one gift, but as Jack looked at all the flowers in the Eternal Gardens Flower Shop he just couldn’t control himself.

“Peonies. Those are cool,” he told the woman behind the counter.  “Um, what else do you recommend?”

She smiled at his enthusiasm, “Roses?  I know they’re traditional and corny – but they’re traditional and corny and beautiful.  Your girl will love them.”

Jack frowned briefly, then shrugged it off and said softly, “They deserve corny and beautiful and everything.”

The woman’s expression changed slightly, then she quickly recovered, “So… one giant bouquet for them, or?”

“Well, we agreed to only get each other one gift.  Would a bunch of bouquets delivered in one huge vase be considered one?”

“Yes, I would say so,” she nodded happily. “Yes! What else do you want to get?  We can always put the bouquets in one box.  That’s still one item if you think about it really.”

Jack picked up a hydrangea and inhaled deeply.  The scent was crisp and clean and made him happy.  He then imagined Bitty burying his face into a bouquet of hydrangeas and it made it doubly happy.

How did he get here?  Here he was, like a sap, ordering a bunch of flowers on a Hallmark holiday for the boy he loved.  Flowers.  Like a sap, in love and with no regrets.  

He almost laughed at himself, and wished he could see Bitty’s face when the delivery arrived.

“Let’s go with two dozen of the red roses, a dozen peonies, a dozen hydrangeas, and…”

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okay so I may have been listening to multiple snail house music in a row,,,

Haha Palette belongs to @angexci