Do not repost & screencap. Do not re-translate into any language.
In celebration of BTS’ awards at 31st Golden Disk Awards.
Stan Jin’s dad jokes. Stan BTS.
(last updated: 21.03.2017)
1. - 깨가 죽으면 뭔 줄 알니?
- What is it called when a sesame is dead?
“Freckles” (주근깨 ju-keun-kkae) is pronounced the same as “dead sesame” (죽은 깨 juk-eun kkae).
2. - 햄버거가 무슨 색인 줄 알니?
- What color is the hamburger?
“Burger” when joined with the letter “n” becomes “burgern”, which is pronounced the same as “burgun” in “burgundy”.
3. - 딸기가 도망가면 뭔 줄 알니?
- What is it called when a strawberry runs?
- Strawberry jam.
“Jam” is written as “잼” (jaem) in Korean. “재다” (jae-da) means “fast”, while “잼” can also mean the adjective “재다” is added an “ㅁ” to it, turning “재다” into a noun “잼” (rough meaning: the state of being fast). So “딸기잼” (ddalki-jam / strawberry jam) can be understood as “the strawberry is fast”.
4. - 물이 있어요. 이 물들이 갑자기 흩어졌어. 그럼 무엇일까?
- There’s water. The water then suddenly dispersed. What is it called?
“Seafood” is “해산물” (hae-san-mul) in Korean. “해산” (hae-san) means “dispersal” and “물” (mul) means “water”. So “해산물” literally means “dispersed water”.
5. - 라면이 프랑스 가면 왜 싫어하는 줄 아십니까?
- 다 불어 써서.
- Why do the noodles hate going to France?
- Because they all use French.
“Use French” is “불어 써서” (bul-eo sseo-seo) in Korean, “불어” (bul-eo) means “French” and “써서” (sseo-seo) is the conjugated version of the verb “쓰다” (sseu-da / use) with the 아/어서 grammar (indicating the reason of an action/a situation). “불어 써서” is pronounced similar to “불었었서” (bul-eoss-eoss-seo, read as: bul-leot-sseot-seo), which is the verb “붇다” (but-da / swell up, be bloated) with 았었/었었 grammar (double past tense, indicating an action is done in the past and is no longer relevant to the present). Combined, we have “불었었어”, meaning “(the noodles are) bloated".
6. - 신이 아이를 낳으면 뭔 줄 아십니까?
- 갓 난 아이.
- What is it called when a god gives birth to a child.
- An infant.
“Infant” is “갓난아이” (gat-nan-a-i) in Korean. “갓” (gat) means “god”, “난” (nan) is the verb “나다” (na-da / come out) used with modifier ㄴ for adjectives, and “아이” (a-i) means “baby”.
7. - 고양이 물로 만들면 뭔 줄 아십니까?
- What is a cat made from water called?
- Water rocket.
“Water rocket” is “물로켓” (mul-ro-ket) in Korean. “물” (mul) means “water” and “로켓” (ro-ket) means “rocket”. When analyzed in a different way, “물로켓” can be separated into “물”, “로” and “켓”. “로” (ro) indicates something is used as material, and “켓” (ket) is read similar to “cat” in English. In that sense, “물로켓” means “a cat made from water.”
🐰 8. - 3월에 대학생들이 강한 이유는?
- Why are college students strong in March?
- Because it’s the beginning of a new term.
“개강해서” (gae-gang-hae-seo) is the verb “개강하다” (gae-gang-ha-da / a new term begins) with 아/어서 grammar (indicating the reason of an action/a situation). “개강해서” is read the same as “개 강해서” (gae gang-hae-seo), which is the word “개” (gae / used in slangs, meaning “frigging”, “so”, “really”) and “강하다” (gang-ha-da / strong) with 아/어서 grammar. “개 강해서” means “because they are frigging strong”.
9. 오디오 있는 곳이 어디어.
Where is the place that has audio?
“Where” is “어디어” (eo-di-eo) and is pronounced similar to “audio” (오디오 o-di-o) in Korean.
10. - 개가 벽 보고 뭐라고 하는 줄 아십니까?
- What does the dog say when it sees a wall?
“월월” (wol-wol) is the “woof-woof” sound a dog makes written in Korean. “월” is pronounced similar to “wall” in English.
11. - 소가 계단을 올라오면 뭔 줄 아세요?
- What is it called when a cow goes up the stairs?
- Goose~oose bumps.
“소름” (so-reum) means “goose bumps” in Korean, “소오름” (so-o-reum) is “소름” with the “오” sound lengthened. “소” (so) in “소오름” means “cow”, “오름” (o-reum) is the verb “오르다” (o-reu-da / go up) added a ㅁ to it, turning “오르다” into the noun “오름” (the act of going up). So “소오름” can be understood as “a cow going up”.
12. - 소가 전쟁을 하면 뭔 줄 아세요?
- What is a cow going into a war called?
- War-me war-me.
“워메워메” (wo-me wo-me) is the sound a cow makes written in Korean. “워” has the same pronunciation as “war” in English.
13. - 징을 놀랍도록 세게 치면 무엇인지 아세요?
- What is it called when a jing is hit hard?
“징” (jing) is a large gong used in traditional Korean music. “어메이징” (eo-me-i-jing) is “amazing” written in Korean.
14. 이 바닷가재가 어제 나한데 바다 가재.
Yesterday this lobster asked me to go to the sea with it.
“Lobster” (바닷가재 ba-dat-ga-jae) has similar pronunciation to “ask (me) to go to the sea with it” (바다 가재 ba-da ga-jae). “바다” (ba-da) means “sea”, while “가재” (ga-jae) is the shortened form of “가자고 해” (ga-ja-go hae, unconjugated: 가자고 하다 ga-ja-go ha-da), meaning “ask someone to go”.
15. 문을 뒤집으면 곰.
A door upside down is a bear.
In Korean, “door” is “문” (mun) and “bear” is “곰” (gom). Flip it upside down.
16. - 손가락은 영어로 핑거잖아요. 그럼 주먹인 뭐예요?
- A finger is “finger” in English. Then what is a fist?
“Omeuringer” is written as “오므린거” (o-meu-rin-geo) in Korean. The verb “오므리다” (o-meu-ri-da) means “clench (hands)”, combining with modifier ㄴ and “거” (geo) (the thing / the action), we have “오므린거”, which means “the action of clenching (hands)”.
17. - 강아지가 한 마리만 있는 나라가 뭔 줄 알아?
- Which country only has one dog?
Germany is “독일” (dog-il) in Korean. The Romanization of “독” is “dog” and “일” (il) means “one”.
18. - 소가 웃으면 뭔 줄 아세요?
- What is it called when a cow laughs?
In “우하하” (uhaha), “우” (u) means “cow” and “하하” means “haha”.
19. - 뱀이 불 타면 뭔 줄 알아요?
- What is a snake on fire?
In Korean, “vampire” is written as “뱀파이어” (baem-pa-i-eo). “뱀파이어” is “뱀” (baem), which means “snake”, and “파이어” (pa-i-eo / fire). The ㅍ sound can be pronounced as “p” or “f”, the ㅂ sound can be pronounced as “b” or “v”.
20. - 오리가 얼면?
- What is it called when we freeze a duck?
- A slope.
“Slope” is “언덕” (eon-deok) in Korean. “언” (eon) is the verb “얼다” (eol-da / freeze) combined with modifer ㄴ, and “덕” (deok) is pronounced the same as “duck” in English. So “언덕” can be understood as “a frozen duck”.
- 사슴이 눈이 좋으면 뭔지 아세요? - 굿아이디어.
- What is a deer with good eyes called? - Good idea.
“Good idea” is pronounced the same as “good eye deer”.
오리를 생으로 먹으면? 회오리.
What is it called when you eat ducks raw? Tornado.
“Tornado” is “회오리” (hoe-o-ri) in Korean. “회” (hoe) means “sashimi” and “오리” (o-ri) means “duck”.
23. - 세상에서 가장 강한 새는 뭔지 아십니까? - 참새.
- What is the world’s strongest bird? - Sparrow.
“Sparrow” is “참새” (cham-sae) in Korean. “참” (cham) means “quite, very”and “새” (sae) means “bird”.
24. - 세상에서 가장 아름다운 새는 뭔지 아십니까?
- 아미 생김새.
- What is the world’s most beautiful bird? - ARMYs’ appearances.
“Appearance” is “생김새” (saeng-kim-sae) in Korean. The “새” (sae) in “생김새” also means “bird”.
25. - 논리적인 사람이 총을 쏘면 뭔지 알아요?
- What is it called when a logical person shoots a gun? - A valid point.
“Valid” is “타당하다” (ta-dang-ha-da) in Korean. The sound of a bullet coming out from a gun is “타당타당” (ta-dang-ta-dang).
26. - 뚜비가 길을 지나가고 있었어. 근데 나나가 밥을 먹고 있었어. 그러더니 뚜비가 뭐라고 한 줄 알아?
- Laa-Laa was eating when Dipsy passed by. What did Dipsy say?
“Ddubidubab” (뚜비두밥) is read similar to “뚜비도 밥” (ddu-bi-do bab), which means “food for Ddubi too” in Korean. “Ddubi” is the Korean name of Dipsy.
27. - 세상에서 제일 긴 음악이 뭔 줄 알아요?
- What is the longest music in the world?
- Am I Wlong.
“Am I Wrong” is written as “엠아롱” (em-a-rong) in Korean. Since the ㄹ consonant can be pronounced as both “l” and “r”, there are 2 ways of pronouncing “롱”: as “long” and as “rong”.
28. - 꿈이 큰 나무가 뭔지 아세요?
- What is a big tree with big dreams?
- A giant gummy worm.
“Giant gummy worm” in Korean is “왕꿈틀이” (wang-kkum-teul-i). “왕” means “kind”, but it’s often used with the meaning of “big, huge, giant”. “꿈” means “dream”. “틀이” is read similar to “트리” (teu-ri), which is “tree” written in Korean.
29. 안녕하세요에서 안녕하세요 인사를 하게 되네요.
I get to say “hello” at “Hello Counselor”.
You all know this one.
30. - 오리들의 여왕이 일어섰어요. 그럼 무엇일까요? - 선덕여왕.
- The queen of the ducks has stood up. What is it called?
- Queen Seonduck.
Queen Seondeok is a queen in Korean history. “Deok” and “duck” are pronounced the same.
31. - 그늘이 있으면 행복한 이유가 무엇일까요?
- Why are people happy when there’s shade?
- Because they’re happy.
“Happy” is written as “해피” (hae-pi) in Korean. “해피해서” (because they’re happy) can be phrased as “해 피해서”. “해” means “the sun”, “피해서” is “피하다”, meaning “avoid”, combined with 아/어서 grammar (indicating the reason of an action/a situation). When phrasing as “해 피해서”, it takes the meaning of “because they can avoid the sun”.
32. 최근에 가방 사셨나봐요~? 내껀 가방.
Did you buy a new bag recently? You must be mine.
In “내껀 가방” (nae-kkeon ka-bang), “내껀” means “mine” and “가방” means “bag”, so “내껀 가방” means “my bag”. On another hand, “내껀 가방” is read close to “내껀 가봥”, which is “내껀 가봐” written in a cute way by adding the “ㅇ” consonant. “내껀 가봐” is “내꺼” (mine) and the conjugated ㄴ가 보다 grammar (indicating the speaker is guessing). “내껀 가봐” means “you must be mine”.
33. - 오리가 하늘을 날아. 하늘을 날면서 막 요리가 돼. 그건 뭐지 알아?
- The duck flies to the sky and becomes food. What is it?
“Flap” is “푸드덕” (푸드덕거리다) (pu-deu-deok) in Korean. In “푸드덕”, “푸드” means “food” and “덕” means “duck”.
34. - 혈액형?
- Your blood type?
“혈액형” (hyeol-aek-hyeong) means “blood type” in Korean. The types of blood type would be called “[…]형”, for example: type A is “A형”, type O is “0형”. “Doll” in Korean is “인형” and it ends with “형”, similar to how blood types’ names are ended with.
35.- 소가 노래를 부르면 뭔지 아나?
- 소송 일세.
- 그 소들이 떼창하면 뭔지 아나?
- 단체소송 일세.
- What is it called when cows sing?
- A lawsuit.
- What if those cows sing together?
- A group lawsuit.
“Lawsuit” is “소송” (so-song) in Korean. “소” means “cow” and “송” means “song” (as in music). “단체” means “group”.
37. - 닭 중에서 제일 빠른 닭은?
- What is the quickest chicken?
- Rush (Huda chicken).
“후다닥” (hu-da-dak) is used to show an action is done fast. In “후다닥”, the “닥” is read the same as “닭” (chicken).
38. - 뼈가 두 개면 뭔지 아십니까?
- 네 개가 있으면?
- What is it called when there are 2 bones?
- A skull.
- What if there are 4 bones?
- Beef bone.
In Korean, “skull” is “두개골” (du-gae-gol) and “beef bone” is “사골” (sa-gol). In “두개골”, “두개” means “two (things)” and “골” means “bone”. In “사골”, “사” means “four” and “골” means “bone”.
39. - 제빵사들이 제일 싫어하는 개그는 뭔지 알아요?
- 빵 터지는 개그.
- Which kind of jokes do bakers hate the most?
- Jokes that make people burst out laughing.
“Burst out laughing” is “빵 터지다” (bbang teo-ji-da) in Korean. “빵 터지다” can be understood as “빵” (bread) and “터지다” (explode, burst) combined. So “빵 터지는 개그” has 2 meanings: “jokes that make people burst out laughing” and “jokes that make bread explodes”.
40. - 용이 하늘로 승천하다를 네 글자로 줄이면?
- “The dragon ascends to heaven” shortened to 4 characters is?
- Go up.
“올라가용” (ol-la-ga-yong) is “올라가요” (ol-la-ga-yo) written in a cute way, with “올라가다” meaning “go up”. “용” in “올라가용” means “dragon”.
41. 푸마에도 살짝 거품이 끼어 있어요. 언블리버블~
There’s a kind of bubble in Puma. Unbeliebubble~
“Unbelievable” is written as “언블리버블” (eon-beul-li-beo-beul) in Korean. The “ㅂ” consonant can be pronounced as both “b” and “v”, so “버블” in “언블리버블” can be read as “beo-beul” (bubble) or “veo-beul” (vable).
42. - 쓰레기가 음식을 먹을 때 나는 소리는 무엇일까요?
- What sound does rubbish make when eating?
- Munch munch.
“오물오물” (o-mul o-mul) is used to express the action of doing something with a full mouth/mouth hardly opens, such as munching. “오물” (o-mul) means “rubbish”.
43. - 소나무가 삐지면?
- What is it called when the pine tree sulks?
“Toothbrush” is “칫솔” (chit-sol) in Korean. “칫” is the sound used to describe when someone is sad/sulks and “솔” means “pine tree”.
Could you point out the differences between a kangal, malakli and anatolian shepherd?
ah yes, the subtleties of the fawn-with-mask-turkish-livestock-dog-things!
ill use turkish line dogs so you can see really what the breed differences are traditionally, instead of western/euro examples of the breed which are different than middle eastern “true” shepherds
so, its like a dog thermometer but with aggression and size
turkish-line anatolian shepherd! not huge, on the lankier side of the spectrum while still being strong and sturdy. pretty much exclusively used as livestock dogs and dont do anything in fighting, although they can also be companions.
getting bigger now! kangals are a little more aggressive, a little wilder, per say. very territorial, suspicious, blah blah blah. used in fighting, but still also used as livestock dogs!
now we’ve got the big guns! malakli are the largest of the turkish shepherds, very aggressive animals and were actually bred from kangals (most say they were mixed with big mastiffs and other fighting dogs, though the exact origin to my understanding is unknown). they are pretty exclusively used for dog fights, dont do any livestock work, and tend to be the most mastiffy in appearance and often have the wrinkly faces.
now ill be totally honest, malakli and kangals often look very similar, and less “typey” examples of each breed are hard to tell apart, particularly since malakli have kangal roots anyway. likewise, a lot of kangals, especially the thinner ones, look a lot like anatolians because those breeds are also related. so really what im trying to say is that all the turkish breeds are kind of a hot mess of within themselves and they all sort of look similar and have very mixed purposes and are, quite honestly, probably still interbred with one another. the line where one ends is vague and malleable; landraces are not distinct “breeds” the way modern kennel club dogs are, and while the differences do definitely exist they are subtle and alien comparatively to how clubs view dogs.
the most believable part of The Lightning Thief Musical is during “Drive” when Annabeth is admiring the Gateway Arch and Percy just straight up does not care what she’s saying and flips his shit over a dog
Prompt: Jin comforts you after you have a nightmare about him leaving
Genre: angst, fluff
Word Count: 1367
He was packing, or rather, had finished packing, and the home you used to share now seemed to be left bare. Little trinkets and Mario toys were taken away and placed carefully in a suitcase, leaving behind spots on surfaces where dust couldn’t reside before. Clothes you had forgotten were his because of how often you’d wear them were gone, leaving a bigger hole than you thought they could. Not that you ever imagined this to happen in the first place.
“I really wish we could, but everything is just so busy and I don’t feel like it’s right for you to have to wait so long to see me for such a short period of time before I need to leave again.”
You tried to protest. That was just a given for you to be with him, and the two of you already had plenty of conversations about the issues that arose with his work, but everything was resolved with reassurance and quality time whenever he was able to be with you. You were ok. He knows that!
The protest bubbled in your chest and you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing was spoken into the air. No words were formed.
Why can’t I speak?! I need to tell him!
“I wish we could be together forever.”
“The plans we made for our future…”
Seokjin! Stop, please!
“Right now, nothing is working. I don’t think I can keep the promises I made to you. You shouldn’t hold yourself back from life because of me.”
No! We talked about this!
“And I know how persistent you can be when you set your mind on something, and it’s really admirable…but because of that, you wouldn’t let yourself live as happily as I want you to-”
I am happy! Who told you this?!
“-so I’ll do it…For both of us, I think it would be better if we weren’t together anymore because of my job and how it affects your life. I just want you to be happy. I would hug you and kiss you, but I’m afraid that if I do, I’ll never be able to let go, so…the best I can do is this.”
You began crying as he solemnly brought his hand to his lips and sent a kiss to you by mournfully extending his arm back toward you. You tried to grab his hand and beg him to stay, to listen to you, but he was just out of your reach.
You could only watch the tears fall from his eyes.
You cried and screamed his name, trying desperately to run after him, to find him, but everything was dark and you were confused and terrified and it felt like ropes were wrapping themselves securely around your torso to keep you from moving forward, to keep you from him.
You fought them with all your strength, but they were too strong. You could only sob, words too broken to be understood.
The sound of Seokjin’s voice calling your name further crushed the shattered pieces of your heart into dust. Your body was shaking violently and you couldn’t breathe. Hot pressure was crushing your chest and your name continued to be called.
“Please wake up!”
You jolted, eyes snapping open and frantically tried to get rid of the ropes tying you down. It took a few moments for you to realize that there weren’t any ropes. Only Seokjin holding you upright, securely in his arms. The violent shaking was him trying to rouse you as gently as possible and the burning, suffocating pressure was him pressing your body against his chest. The fresh, clean scent that belonged uniquely to him filled your nose. The smell of safety brought relief, flooding your senses to fight off panic, and all you could do was curl your fists into his shirt and continue to cry as he rocked you back and forth, rubbing circles into your back, murmuring words of comfort and pressing kisses to the crown of your head.
“It’s ok. You’re ok, it was only a dream. Everything’s ok. I’m here, it’s ok, I’m here. Just hold onto me and breathe. Can you do that for me? Breathe in-”
You sucked in a stuttering breath of air.
The air left too quickly and your lungs returned to the panicked hyperventilation for a moment until Seokjin’s voice brought you back.
“That’s ok, you’re ok. Try again, come on. In…and out. Good, good job. You’re doing so well. Again, c’mon,” he urged gently.
After a minute or so, your breathing and heart rate had calmed down, but you were still shuddering. Seokjin held onto you in the dark, the silence broken only by your deep breaths as you clung to him.
He was so warm and comforting.
He softly rubbed his hands over your arms, lightly massaging the muscles sore from shivering and tensing. “Are you feeling better?”
You wordlessly nodded and nestled further into him. He protectively rested his head on yours and sat there in silence, allowing you to simply feel his breath and listen to his heartbeat until you were comfortable with talking.
“Y-you…you left m-me,” you finally managed to explain, bursting into tears again.
Seokjin wordlessly held you tight and rocked you again, waiting patiently for you to regain composure so as to not rush you and stress you out. When you calmed down, he asked why he left.
“Because of being an i-idol, and I know, I know that both of us have talked about t-this and we’re ok, but that’s why I was so con-confused and scared. I thought I did something wrong and I c-couldn’t say anything and you’re ok, right? Y-you’re ok about us?”
Seokjin pulled back from the hug a little to look you in the eye. He cupped you face in his hands and brushed away stray tears still lingering on your cheeks. “Yes. I have no doubt that I want to stay with you for a very long time. Forever, even. I do feel bad more often than I would like to admit because of the way you have to live because of me, but the reassurance that you’re ok and that you love me with all your heart regardless of how late I get home or wherever in the world I may be…How can I not love you? It was just a bad dream. I would never just walk out on you based off of such a weak excuse like that. I love you. I love you so much and I don’t want to leave you and the fact that you don’t want to leave me makes me love you so much more. Please don’t have that dream again, but if that Seokjin comes back, if he says that crap again, just laugh at him. Look him dead in the eye and laugh at him and his stupidity.”
“Hey, what does a dog say when it sees a wall?”
“Seokjin, I swear to God-”
“Wol wol!!” He began laughing.
“That’s not even a new joke! You’ve already said this!”
“Isn’t it funny?”
“No!” You squirmed out of his hold and lay back down, turning your back to him. “I’m going back to sleep.”
“What color is a hamburger?”
“Burgundy! Go to bed, I don’t wanna talk to you anymore!”
He lay down next to you, wrapping his arms around your torso and squishing your body to back into his chest. You protested and tried to wriggle away, but he wouldn’t let you. Your kicking only tangled the two of you further into the sheets.
You stopped fighting him when he kissed the back of your neck softly, solemnly.
“I love hearing you smile.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Yes it does. You can hear it in someone’s voice when they smile. I love hearing your smile. It makes me happy too.”
You turned around and looked up at him. “Thank you, Seokjin.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He pressed a kiss to your lips and held you close, playing with your hair until you fell sound asleep in his arms.
love in a time of social media part one. shance. eventual nc-17.
alternate universe. lance is the king of shitposts and selfies. shiro is an artist who loves his dog and fatalistic humor. somehow, they fall in love.
warning! underage drinking and casual use of marijuana
They meet online.
Specifically, they meet on tumblr. Shiro is an artist of middling popularity and Lance is a shitposter of the highest caliber. Shiro follows Lance months before Lance follows him; indeed, Lance is unaware of Shiro’s work until Shiro @’s him in a small comic.
‘I couldn’t resist,’ Shiro types below the image. 'Thank you for the inspiration, @lances-a-lot.’
Shiro—@white_iron—has a simple art style and a sharp sense of humor that makes Lance laugh out loud. He reblogs the comic, telling his followers to check it out, and proceeds to creep on Shiro’s blog. Lance’s first stop is Shiro’s small about section.
<b><p></b> <b>MC:</b> Who's child is it?<p/><b>Luciel:</b> Gimme a second<p/><b>Luciel:</b> *crouches down*<p/><b>Luciel:</b> What does a cow say?<p/><b>Child:</b> Moo!<p/><b>Luciel:</b> What does a dog say?<p/><b>Child:</b> Woof!<p/><b>Luciel:</b> What does Elly say?<p/><b>Child:</b> It's Elizabeth 3rd!<p/><b>Luciel:</b> <p/><b>Luciel:</b> I think it's Jumin's<p/><p/></p>
<b>Kagami:</b> What does a dog say?<p/><b>Child:</b> Woof!<p/><b>Kagami:</b> And a sheep?<p/><b>Child:</b> Baaaaaa!<p/><b>Kagami:</b> Then what about a panther?<p/><b>Child:</b> The only one who can beat me is me!<p/><b>Kagami:</b> G-good job! *silent laughter*<p/><b>Aomine:</b> Taiga, what have you been teaching our child again?!<p/></p>