what does the dog say

“A List from the PunMaster”

For those of you who follow the blog closely, you’ll know that one or two tricksters have been flooding our inbox with puns for the past couple of weeks. When we brought it up in a post (click here), we got many responses asking for us to post every pun we received. So, here we are, and here are the numerous puns:

  • What does a Japanese dog say to greet another? Konichihuahua
  • Rest in peace, boiled water. You will be mist.
  • When chemicals die, do scientists barium?
  • What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll.
  • Gaston is the winner of the No Belle prize
  • Just remember: if you ever get cold, stand in the corner because they’re around 90°.
  • What do you call a pig’s special karate move? A pork chop.
  • Cinderella was cut from the team because she was always running from the ball.
  • What starts and ends with “e” but only has one letter?
  • Does your town play the Lottery? I hope not. I wouldn’t want you to get stoned if you won.
  • The king looked outside his window and stared up at the darkening sky, lips slightly turned up. A servant came into his room to help the king prepare for the day and inquired as to how he was fairing. The king’s response was neither one of feeling well or otherwise, only a simple, “It shall be another reign-y day.”
  • What do you call a lazy joey? A pouch potato.
  • To be honest, sometimes I wish that Harry had named Hedwig “Hoodini” instead. Then they’d both be magical. And hoo knows, maybe Hedwig could have escaped death, too. [I apologize for that last part]
  • You’re flooded? Sorry, but I can’t really help that I’m dripping with good puns.
  • Sorry if I do any bad chemistry jokes. All the good ones Argon.
  • I kind of feel bad for all the Christian Bale “Batman” fans, the newer actor really seems to be Affleckting them.
  • If Nixon had been an animal, he most likely would have been a crookodile
  • Do you know what the real Instagram is? Putting your grandmother on speed-dial.
  • Hey, if the past, present, and future all walked into the same bar, don’t you think it would be really tense?
  • What was Socrates’ favorite thing to mold? Play-Doh
  • Do you think writers ever get cold? After all, they are surrounded by drafts.
  • What’s the best way to get an English major in the mood? Metaphor play.
  • When he was younger, my brother wanted to be an astronaut, but to be honest, he’s only reached the first syllable.
  • Hey, is your left eye okay??? Because you’ve been looking just right all day.
  • What’s the difference between calculators for middle and high school math? 5318008 vs I WANT TO DIE
The only one who can beat me is me
  • <p> <b>Kagami:</b> What does a dog say?<p/><b>Child:</b> Woof!<p/><b>Kagami:</b> And a sheep?<p/><b>Child:</b> Baaaaaa!<p/><b>Kagami:</b> Then what about a panther?<p/><b>Child:</b> The only one who can beat me is me!<p/><b>Kagami:</b> G-good job! *silent laughter*<p/><b>Aomine:</b> Taiga, what have you been teaching our child again?!<p/></p>

Kid: mum, I found this old DVD in your room.

Me: oh nice, what does it say?

Kid: ‘recorded Dan and Phil YouTube videos’

Me: Dog, go get your bother Susan. It’s time you kids learn the truth.

anonymous asked:

what does it mean when someone says their dog is "throwing their head" tbh the phrase sounds weird

They pop their head off their body and physically chuck it at the nearest person :P

You could also say “toss their head” and it’s the same thing- the dog, typically as part of an excited gesture, quickly moves their head back and forth or up and down just like a horse would.

this one goes out to my dad, who walks our hyper springer spaniel at 4 in the morning every day rain hail or shine

he does what 90% of dog owners would understandably say ‘fuck that’ to, but he just loves the little guy too much

its very admirable indeed :P 

i think Luigi would do the same

I honestly wish I could say I blame @kenmasipad for this one, but tbh she wasn’t even here to see me draw this one (mad about that, but doesn’t stop me from dedicating the artwork to her either way <3 )

Well, I am falling into Haikyuu, which means; Volleyball dogs. you guessed it. No ship of mine is safe you know the rules guys.

More of the Haikyuu!! Dog AU
Request here!


Mikiko: “What does Ren say?”

Haru: “Nothing. But he’s been staying cooped up in his room since we moved.. And lately, I’ve been busy, too..”

Mikiko: "Why don’t you get a dog? He likes them, right?”

Haru: “When he says ‘dogs’ he means wolves that weight 50 kilos!! There’s no way!”

Mikiko: “You know..You’re such an overprotective brother. Normally, boys Ren’s age find it annoying when their parents and siblings meddle with their lives.”

Haru: “What? No way!! I’m annoying?”

Mikiko: “You are annoying.”

Haru: “Actually, that sounds like something he’d say.”

  • Me: What does a cow say?
  • Child: Moo!
  • Me: Great! What does a dog say?
  • Child: Woof!
  • Me: Wow! And what does a pig say?
  • Child: Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going? License and registration, please.


SAN JOSE – Miracles do happen, Phil Kessel won a card game. He actually won. I still can’t believe I’m typing this, but I guess it’s true what they say, every dog does have its day. Pretty remarkable.
I’m guessing my last blog poked the right buttons. Unfortunately for him, he still remains the fourth ranked card player at the table.
All kidding aside, Phil is one of the best teammates I have ever played with. There isn’t a thing he wouldn’t do for anyone of us and I’m lucky to have him as a friend.