what does that word even mean

tobbles  asked:

I'm really confused about mansplaining. Like what??? Is it??? How do I tell the difference between explaining and mansplaining. God I hope I'm spelling this right but you probably get what I mean if I'm not.

I’ve got very, very mixed feelings on the word mainsplaining.

It basically means that, a man (one who is insecure about his masculinity and hates the idea of a woman knowing just as much or more than he does) overexplaining something to a woman. It’s like if Sid came in and explained to me how to play Reaper in overwatch when I have dozens of hours on him and Sid doesn’t even have one. It’s different than a man just explaining something to a woman, because he immediately assumed she didn’t know anything.

I’m very torn on this issue. Because on one hand, yes, this is something that happens, and I’ve seen it.

But on the other, it’s a stupid word and has kinda ableist implications? I love explaining things I’m interested to people, and I’m a woman, and sometimes I explain things knowing the person I’m explaining them to already knows them. So it’s a neurodivergent thing too, and damning neurodivergent men because some dudes talk down to women is…. Gross

Also it’s a dumb word and I feel like a chump when I say it out loud.

dear white male writers: DO NOT DO THIS

These horrific, sexist, racist paragraphs - screenshotted and shared for posterity by James Smythe, to whom we are all indebted - are the work of one Liam O’Flynn, a writer and English teacher. Evidently, they come from his book Writing With Stardust: the Ultimate Descriptive Guide for students, parents, teachers, and lovers of English, and are intended as examples of good writing.

UM.

Dear white male writers: DO NOT DO THIS SHIT. IT IS SUPER GROSS AND FETISHISTIC AND ALSO TERRIBLE WRITING. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS. 

Like I just. “Her virility-brown eyes -” WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? How can you have an “Amazonian figure” ON a “wafer-thin body” when “figure” is a word that describe’s a body’s shape, and Amazonian means pretty much the DIRECT FUCKING OPPOSITE of “wafer-thin” in the first place?  What the shitting fuck does ANY of this mean, apart from “I am only nebulously familiar with the concept of women and completely at a loss if I can’t compare their various bodyparts to jewels, animals and footstuffs”?

STOP 

GO TO WRITING JAIL

GO DIRECTLY TO WRITING JAIL, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200

Inspirational Quotes

Everyone needs extra inspiration/motivation every once in a while. Therefore, I have compiled a list of some of my favourite inspirational Harry Potter quotes (quotes are from the books and films).

  • “Working hard is important. But there is something that matters even more, believing in yourself”
  • “Books! And cleverness! There are more important things! - Friendship! And Bravery!”
  • “When in doubt, go to the library”
  • “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities”
  • “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live”
  • “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends”
  • “Ah, music,” he said wiping his eyes. “A magic beyond all we do here”
  • “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on Earth should that mean that it is not real?”
  • “Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic”
  • “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the the light”
  • “In dreams, we enter a world that’s entirely our own”
  • “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be”
  • “We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are”
  • “Well, [bad] times like that bring out the best in some people and the worst in others’
  • “The ones who love us never really leave us, you can always find them in here”
  • “What’s life without a little risk?”
  • “We’re all human, aren’t we? Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving”
  • “You sort of start thinking anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve”
  • “Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect”
  • “No good sitting worrying about it. What’s coming will come, and we’ll meet it when it does”

I hope these quotes inspire you too!

A letter to all women
You are valuable. You were created to be light in this world, to bring joy, and on days that you can’t even pick yourself up, to let others know that life does not end there. That it’s also okay to break down for a little while, that we’ve all been there. Woman, you are free. Pay no attention to those, even fellow sisters, that tell you what to wear, what to do, how many boys or girls you can kiss before you officially become a slut, before you become used or impure. Do whatever feels right, feel whatever you truly want. Pay no attention to those who are capable of making the same mistakes as you but think they’re too perfect to ever fail. And maybe those mistakes aren’t even mistakes. Maybe it was just you, growing into the dazzling woman that you’re meant to be, maybe it was another experience in the book of all the things that you’ve done and that are to come. Maybe it was a lesson. Pay no attention to those that say you’re not as worthy as them, to those that tell you that you can’t be successful, smart enough, good enough, pretty enough. Rage. Fight. Live, breathe and cling to what you not only think but know that is fair, and not only fair, but merely human. Speak up. Resist. Engage, communicate and develop your right to rule your own body, to wear whatever you want knowing that if a person gets angry at you for being “provocative” it’s only their problem because they’re not enough of a respectful person to understand that you’re not “asking for it”, you’re just living. Wear whatever you want knowing that if someone makes fun of you, mistreats you or abuses you in any way because you chose to cover yourself up or dress yourself down, they just weren’t raised right, they just don’t know what it’s like to view things from different perspectives or just to be you. Shout. Protest. Be displeased, rebel and say no to people that think they have any kind of control over you. It’s your choice who you want to be with, it’s your choice if you want to keep the baby, it’s your choice if today you don’t want to go to the party, it’s your choice if you want to wear the sweatpants or the tight dress. It’s your choice if you’re going to let others rule your life or be enslaved by this intolerant world. Let your sisters know that we can’t afford to put each other down anymore. We can’t afford to keep on slut shaming when all we’re asking for is respect and we’re not giving it back, or setting the example to do so. We can’t afford to verbally abuse one another when all me might have needed was a little advice and a lot of support. We need to be there for every single woman out there because no one else is going to fight for equality or be informed of what equality really means, if we can’t even come together and stop fighting with each other instead of fighting towards a fair, respectful, equal and dignified world. Stop thinking that there’s already too many of us fighting for the cause and that you’re not needed, there aren’t enough people. We need every single woman helping, giving advice, letting people know of this injustice that we’re living, that not only because you’re comfortable and everyone accepts you as you are, does it mean that somewhere else in the world there aren’t girls who are not even allowed to dream. We stop being free when we give up our control. We stop being free when we remain quiet. We stop being free when we stand by and watch others live what you should or want to be living. We stop being free when we let comfort and tranquility seduce us into a life of nothingness. Be released.
—  macsun //m.ch
OKAY SUPERCORP/KARAMEL RANT

**Please read** This all really needs to be said. However, before I go further I want you all to understand that this isn’t meant to be a hate paragraph or to purposefully put those who like Mon-El and/or Karamel down. At this point, all the disagreeing and fighting will do nothing. So I’m asking kindly that if you’re going to add something to this post- that it is filled with positive intent. 

 Anyhow, to my point:

I do watch Supergirl by the way, but I truly believe this concerns a wide variety of people. Whether you’re a fan of The 100, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Walking Dead, or just a person living your life… All I hope is that we all try to grasp the reality of what is truly going on. Now I will centralize this long rant towards Supergirl however. For those of you who don’t know what is going on there is a conflict between fans who ship this character, Mon-El, together with Supergirl/Kara and fans who ship Lena Luthor with Supergirl/Kara. Now, in my humble opinion, the big issue isn’t about straight v.s lgbt people and I will go on about that later… but the fact that she is with someone like Mon-El. Now what do I mean by ‘someone like Mon-El’… before certain people get mad I want to emphasize that I’m simply pointing out what happened in the show. 

This is long as hell just fyi.

1) The way Mon-El reacts to most things is through violence. In fact, the moment he wakes up he chokes Kara. And there’s this: 

(his words in white)

And the scene where Mon-El robs Brian; using his powers for selfish reasons.

He even calls her names. And notice how he does this the moment Kara disagrees with him. A reaction that does more harm than good. On the other hand, when Kara and Lena disagree on something (in ep. 2x03) they simply talk it out. They ask questions, explain, clarify, and come to an understanding.

Now, I’m not here to say that I have NEVER agreed with anything Mon-El has said, actually I applaud him for accepting Maggie and Alex’s relationship the way he did, but that’s just the thing. The opinions/beliefs he has don’t come from himself. Most of what he thinks is based off of what he’s seen on Daxam. He really isn’t at all mature. He isn’t by any means and it’s simply the truth. Now hear me out-

This is what I mean by he isn’t mature: How many times has Kara asked him politely and specifically not to do something but without hesitation still does it? And how many times has he had to beg for forgiveness? 

In addition, he doesn’t have knowledge of what respect truly means. What’s interesting though about this scene in particular- is how it’s supposed to be a ‘funny’ scene. Mon-El’s character is written in as ‘funny’ and ‘aloof’… but it sends a poisonous message- that Kara’s feelings aren’t to be taken seriously. And this show is literally supposed to be about her. Not a guy who thinks it’s his duty to ‘defend her honor’ and then complains about it.

Now I know that this was how people on Daxam acted and their way of life was for the most part, sexist, racist, etc. But that still doesn’t give him an excuse to act the way he does. 

2) Lena herself comes from a family with twisted values as well. She is adopted into the Luthor family and has had close to no friends most of her life. And yet she’s still capable of being a perfectly decent person. 

She does save the alien population not once, but twice. So not only is Lena proved time and time again that she’s a good person, but her relationship with Kara (btw I call it a ‘relationship’ just like the writers do)… is not even close to toxic, detrimental, or abusive. It’s the complete opposite.

Protect yourself”

“I can take care of myself”

3) Being in a healthy relationship is about the effort between two willing people… at the same time, knowing your boundaries whilst encouraging one another.

4) Kara deserves someone who fully acknowledges her efforts and is grateful for them



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some quick ideas based off @pepplemint ‘s soulmate name tattoos au where Allura has a soulmate tattoo that says “Takashi”:


1. The tattoo is written in Altean symbols, and Shiro catches sight of it one day when they’re training. They’ve all learned a bit of Altean by that point and Shiro thinks he can sorta read it, but it looks like it says ‘takashi’ but he’s not sure? So he thinks it must be an Altean word with similar pronunciation and he casually asks Allura what the word is and what it means. He’s thinking this is gonna be fun and hilarious, she’ll tell him what the word means and he’ll tell her how much it sounds like his name, it’ll be cute maybe he’ll tease her a lil bit about having his name tattooed on her arm…

But when he asks Allura gets all sad and shy and eventually tells him: “It says Takashi. It’s the name of my soulmate. All Alteans have their soulmate’s true name tattooed on their skin, but of course my soulmate must have died with Altea… Shiro are you alright?” becauSE SHIRO.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING does he tell her? should he say something? does she even want him as her soulmate?

Bonus: Shiro tries to think of a way to tell her that doesn’t come across as creepy or forward and he can’t think of anything and after about three days of agonising he just blurts out in front of the whole team “My name is Takashi Shirogane!” and everyone’s like ‘dude…… what?’ and now ALLURA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING because SHE SECRETLY SORTA HOPED


2. The tattoo is written in kanji, and Allura obviously can’t read it, so she just assumes her soulmate is an alien of some kind. When she meets the Paladins and Shiro, she ~secretly hopes~ he’s the one but nope, they all speak English and Pidge’s laptop is in English (she checked) and she’s never seen any other language from Earth so OH WELL GUESS THAT’S THAT

Then one night she’s sitting up late with Shiro and they get to talking about different Earth languages, and it’s news to Allura that Earth still has SO MANY languages, and Shiro starts talking to her about Japanese. And about learning English and Japanese as a child, and how Japanese sounds and how it’s written. He starts telling her about Japanese writing systems and how it’s written downwards and she’s so cute and fascinated that he just picks up a scrap of paper and goes “here, i’ll show you” and writes his name in kanji. And he shows her and says “that’s my full name, Takashi Shirogane”.

And Allura’s looking at it like… this looks HAUNTINGLY FAMILIAR. So she takes the scrap of paper and asks really shyly: “can i keep this?”. Shiro just thinks it’s adorable of course and says ‘yeah keep it’ and that night Allura goes back to her room and lifts up her sleeve and with shaking fingers holds the scrap of paper up to her tattoo and IT’S THE SAME.

PSA: DRAG IS NOT CONSENT

So I went to drag con this past weekend (and I could write paragraphs on the experience alone, but that’s a rant for another time) and the first thing my friend and I did was attend the UNHhhh Live panel. Overall it was a special and amazing experience, but ONE THING, or should I say person, marred it.

This person decided it was a good idea to get up and read PORNOGRAPHIC fan fiction ABOUT Trixie and Katya OUT LOUD to Trixie and Katya. – AFTER THEY ASKED HER NOT TO! Trixie straight up said “no, please don’t.” and the bitch goes “Oh, just a few” and proceeds to take up 5 entire minutes (which doesn’t sound long, but trust me, it’s a lifetime when only 15 minutes are allotted for questions, others are waiting to ask theirs, and everyone in the room is uncomfortable) reading them DESPITE THE QUEENS’ EXPLICIT WISHES!

Let me be VERY clear here. I don’t care how well you THINK you know a queen because you’re a fan, you never, EVER have the right to put someone in that position. They were kind enough to humor her for one, but despite the fact that both queens and the captive audience were visibly uncomfortable, SHE WENT ON! Trixie had to FORCIBLY stop her mid sentence on her third (and most explicit) reading. It was truly awful. I later learned that Trixie’s boyfriend was also in the audience making the whole situation even more awkward and embarrassing.

I don’t know who this girl thought she was, how old she was, what possessed her to think this was a good idea, or why no one cares enough about her to stop her from doing this, but what she did to those queens is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. Please spread the word, tell your friends and neighbors, that NO MEANS NO, even in drag. Please remember that these queens are real people, they still reserve the right to a certain amount of privacy, and they still deserve your respect. DRAG DOES NOT NECESSARILY EQUAL CONSENT.

Thank you.

A very long time ago @jennthereaper and @simplyn2deep both sent me this prompt, and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long, but the other day I was finally inspired to take a stab at it. I hope you enjoy!

From The Way You Said “I Love You” 

#26 Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave

Please, Derek, please, I–“ Stiles chokes back the beginnings of tears and clutches harder at the sleeve of Derek’s jacket. He’s on his knees, having tripped in his scramble to get to Derek from the other side of the loft. “I love you, okay? And I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, I’ve been a coward about this whole thing, but I love you. And I know you love me too. I know you do, and I need you not to leave like this, fuck, Derek, please don’t do this.”

Derek stares down at him for a long time, heart clenched in his throat.

And then he looks up at where the other Stiles is pursing his lips in a hard frown as he watches the scene.

“It isn’t real?” Derek asks for the hundredth time since the other Stiles, the real Stiles, showed up in this apparent dreamscape.

Stiles shakes his head stiffly.

The Stiles on the floor is still pleading with him around tears, but the noises of his despair are starting to fade, as if Derek were now hearing him from a distance. Even his heartbeat, a sound that Derek has been clinging to as an anchor for what feels like forever, begins to disappear.

Derek swallows and steels himself against feeling anything more than determination to get through this newest mess.

“What now?” he asks, tone clinical and firm.

Stiles answers him in a similar tone, his expression betraying nothing about what’s going on in his own head. A far cry from the Stiles that Derek first met a couple years ago, terrified and mouthy and young. “Now you wake up.”

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“People always say love is a feeling,” he says to me, “but it’s not. It’s a choice.”

“How do you mean?”
I look puzzled, and he cracks a smile.

“Because. You may feel ‘in love’ when things are great. Everyone does. What about when things get bad? Whether or not you choose to stay. It’s what makes love a choice.”

And he was right, I thought. That’s how I knew I loved him even though he loved someone else.

—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write
continental drift

(#21 off the Super Sappy Prompts list: “I’m better when I’m with you.”)

It’s an experiment based on a hypothesis based on a coincidence. They’re sharing a room on a roadie, and Nursey has been stuck in a dry spell for a week and a half now. The words just haven’t been coming the way he wants them to, and he’s starting to feel dried out, like all the creative juices have been wrung out of him by school stress and lack of sleep. Maybe it’ll never come back. Maybe he’s just done. All washed up by the tender age of twenty.

He’s not even trying to write as he watches Dex from across the room, tracking his fidgets and expressions as he sits hunched over his laptop frowning at the screen. It’s been a while since he and Dex have been in the same room for an extended period of time – a fortnight, about. Dex has been on a project, and Nursey started isolating himself about when the drought hit. But it was nice to sit with him on the bus today, and it’s nice to dump his bag near the bed and just relax, hands behind his head, and drink in his presence. It feels like something he’s been missing for far too long.

Nursey’s not sure what it is that makes the words start coming back, but it’s like a cloudburst on a hot day – a few lines, scattered drops against a parched sidewalk, then all at once he’s drowning.

He writes for four hours that night. His poems are full of microchips and anger, all about the gray morality of man against the rigidity of binary code, and by one a.m., when he should really be getting his beauty rest for tomorrow’s game, he’s starting to formulate a theory.

The theory is that maybe being in Dex’s proximity jumpstarts his creativity. In a phrase, Dex inspires him.

So Nursey resolves to test it.

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Sweater Weather

Jughead x Reader

Wordcount: 2.2k

Request: Can you do an imagine where Jughead breaks up with the reader and she doesn’t go  to school for a couple of days and when she returns she’s a mess wearing joggers and something of Jugheads.

Warnings: none/fluff/possible swearing

Summary: Based on the Neighbourhood Sweater Weather, Jughead breaks the readers heart, she’s a mess and when he sees what he’s done he realises it was a mistake.

Originally posted by juptern

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anonymous asked:

can you give me some otayuri getting together hc?? i'm rlly sad n angsty bc of a boy rn :(( -poet

Yeah I’m still pissed off because of that copycat anon so I’m gonna calm us both down I hope that boy gets his dick kicked. cOME HERE LET’S HAVE SOME HUGS AND DEEP BREATHING. 

  • They weren’t overnight, obviously. They were painfully slow burning up to each other, but they were the quickest to become best friends. 
  • They would text each other all the time - and after practice they would typically Skype each other until Yuri would just pass out.
  • However, Otabek had loved Yuri since their first meeting as children - but he was willing to hold off so he wouldn’t ruin their friendship. So, (props to Heather for this one) when Yuri falls asleep during the Skype calls, Otabek just watches. He loves seeing the Russian’s face soft and peaceful and just so at ease with strands of hair in his face and he loves listening to his steady breathing. He never tells Yuri about it, even after they get together.
  • Yuri doesn’t realise that he’s in love until Otabek visited him in Hastesu (originally he was going to St. Petersburg, but then he found out that Yuri would be visiting Hasetsu and just decided to go there and try the famous Katsudon he’s been hearing about). Yuri didn’t know how to use chopsticks well, and Otabek decided to teach him by placing his hand over Yuri’s and guiding him.
  • The next time he visits Otabek introduces him to his favourite band, Arctic Monkeys, and plays this song. The lyrics make Yuri curious, but neither of them said anything about it. 
  • They hold their feelings in for years - Otabek is willing to live the rest of his life alone waiting, while Yuri is practically going mad with wanting. Until, finally, Yuri starts to push boundaries. 
  • It starts small. Lingering touches on fingers when passing something over. Pulling him by the arm and letting his grip slide down and onto his hand until they reach their destination. Subtle flirts and questions while they would talk on Skype. All of them were always covered with a shitty ass excuse to push the boundary. 
  • However, Yuri suffers a head injury during practice once. It’s nothing too bad - just Yakov told him not to get back on the ice for the rest of the week, at least. So, he decides to take this opportunity to go visit Otabek in Almaty for the week. 
  • Yuri gets more bold with his limits. When he meets Otabek at the airport, he’s greeted with earplugs for his head (because Beka is an absolute sweetheart and doesn’t want the loud noise from his bike to affect his best friend’s head injury); and Yuri pretends one of the earplugs is loose so he would press his ear against Otabek’s back while they rode on his bike. He offered they sleep in the same bed, even “warning” that he gets cuddly in his sleep. His touches would linger, his words were becoming questionable with double meanings - and he even offered a pair skate when he visited Otabek’s rink in Almaty: and that’s where he got sloppy. 
  • His touches were gentle and caressing and his moves were suggestive and Otabek remembered thinking what the hell is going on in a small panic that he might let something slip. Little does he know, that Yuri can’t take it anymore. 
  • When they go home that night, Yuri fakes sleeping so he could cuddle up with Otabek, then decides to wait until Otabek falls asleep until he finally leans up and kisses him.
  • It’s Yuri’s first kiss. 
  • Otabek, however, is not a heavy sleeper. 
  • Yuri had sighed to himself and he goes to stand and go to the bathroom to splash himself in the face for what he did - until he felt something grab his wrist and pull him back to the bed, now devouring him in kisses until Yuri is seeing stars and he feels like he’s flying. 
  • They pulled away once, and Otabek gently rested his forehead on Yuri’s and simply asked, “how long?”
    “Since I was sixteen. At least.”

  • They kiss again and they don’t stop until the two of them pass out that night, and they address what happened in the morning while they ate breakfast downstairs with some chai, and then they talk about what would be next for them in their lives. Everything was unanimously agreed. 
Klance Fic Recs, AU Settings I

Okay so I might end up making multiple parts for AU settings. This one contains mostly occupational/hobby/setting AU stuff. So unless an AU fic prominently featured a certain element, it’ll go on another list. So there are some College AUs, 2 Soulmate AUs, and maybe a few others. 

SPORTS

Olympians
house on fire by ilgaksu
When Lance McClain is eighteen, he qualifies for the Olympics.

When he’s nineteen, he meets Keith.

Correlation does not mean cause, until it totally does.

your love is bright as ever by aknightley (gymnast!Keith, swimmer!Lance)
A brief interlude in the future of the Olympic AU, Christmas with Keith and Lance and their cats.

“This always looks easier in those made for television movies,” Keith tells Blue, who rolls over and out of his lap, chasing her own bits of tinsel.

In It To Win It by Lucy_Claire
One of two things was happening right now, either Lance was having a heart attack on of the biggest day of his life, or he had just laid eyes on his Soulmate.
_______

Competitive swimmer Lance McClain feels his Timer counting down right when he’s about to jump in the water and finish up his race. He’s faced with two choices in this moment: Continue the race and miss meeting his Soulmate at their fateful time or abandon his life’s work for someone he never met.Lance makes his choice and has to suffer the consequence of never getting back what he missed out on. Or does he?

Swimmers
Ocean Eyes by spacezuko
Lance himself doesn’t even believe in his own abilities. He is drowning in his own pool of desire to be everything that he claims he is. Everything that he wants to be. Keith wonders if he’s broken Lance because he doesn’t say a word, his eyes filled with something opaque that Keith can’t quite pinpoint the meaning of. Lance’s eyes are a deep blue. Not the typical morning sky blue, but the kind of ocean blue one wants to drown in.

With legs like these by Queerswimming
In which Lance finds out that there’s a pool in the castle and challenges Keith to a race.

Lance did NOT think this through. Because not a single thing in this universe could’ve prepare him for the sight of Keith in nothing but a red pair of swimming trunks.

Keith has one arm bend behind his head and stretches it with the other. His back arches beautifully, presenting Lance a perfect view of his well-defined torso. At least the last thing Lance sees right before he dies are those ripped abs.

Football
Mistakes were made by Lynn1998
Lance can’t stand the captain of the football team…so why is he having sex with him?
Part 1 of skinny band nerd takes it up the ass from the beefcake football captain series

Ice Skating/Hockey
On Thin Ice (WIP) by Minadora
Once upon a time, two Canadian nerds decided to start a figure skating au about their two space sons and their wonderful misfit friends. Ten pages of headcanons later we finally put electronic pen to electronic paper and created this monstrosity.

This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.Enjoy the ride because it’s only just started.

Kiss My Ice (WIP) by delictor
Lance hasn’t skated in a year since the accident that cost him the Olympics. Keith can’t skate for shit but that doesn’t stop him from catching Lance’s attention, even when he can’t so much as stand up after falling on the ice.

‘When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream.’

“Soon as we’re off this ice you’re dead.” Keith’s threat is an empty one and he knows Lance can tell by the way he laughs at it.
“Serious question though, do you not know who I am?” Lance questions.
“Should I?”
“No, I guess not.” Lance shrugs. “I’m gonna twirl you, okay?”
“No, no don't—wait!” Keith cries out as he’s suddenly viewing the entire arena and his legs go rigid before colliding into Lance’s chest, his chest rising and falling with laughter, hands gripping Keith’s upper arms gently. “Put me back on land.”
“Technically, we are on land.”
“We’re on frozen water, get me off it.”

Quidditch (Non Hogwarts AU)
The Marks We Make (WIP) by wittyy_name
Lance McClain constantly dreams of the day he’ll finally meet his mysterious soulmate. They don’t say much, if anything at all, but they leave him with gorgeous paintings temporarily tattooing his skin. It’s not exactly the situation he hoped for, but when he feels the connection between them, he can’t bring himself to resent them. As much as he wishes his soulmate would just talk to him, he’s resigned himself to being patient. In the meantime, he has a loving family and good friends to help him get by.

Keith Kogane dreads the day he’ll finally meet his obnoxious soulmate. He’s just an art student who’s struggling to find his place in the world. There’s so much he hasn’t been able to control in his life, and the thought of having a soulmate, just another thing in his life which he also has no control over yet can’t do anything about, is a little terrifying. So he ignores the words that occasionally appear on his skin. He has other things to focus on: like being a new student at a big university where his childhood friend and step-brother go.

Surfers (mostly surfer!Lance)
Should I Stand Up on Fear (And Tell You How I Feel?) by Lulatic
“So, it’s really a good thing that Lance got distracted before he dragged you out there with him,” Hunk chuckled. “I guess flirting became more important than your guys’ rivalry.’

Keith blushed again, looking away with a huff. “Yeah, whatever. He’ll probably be distracted long enough that I can go back to the Castle before he decides I need some surfing lessons.”

Pidge laughed, that kind of cheeky giggle that made Keith and Hunk look over at them with wide eyes. Pidge raised a single eyebrow at Keith, grinning mischievously. “Oh, but you won’t be going back to the Castle any time soon, now will you? Not when Lance is out there, soaking wet, wearing nothing but a pair of swimming trunks.”

Pride Tide by lemoninagin
He’d stared up, watched the differing patches of sunlight play the most stunning array of colored patterns across Keith’s pale face as he grinned mischievously over him. Time slowed, his own breathing became laboured and caught in his throat.

“You can teach me, right?” Keith had asked in a shyer voice than usual, brushing the tangled mess of his windswept hair away from his eyes and cocking his head towards the boards.

Save his smile by Queerswimming
Keith wants to protect Lance’s smile and finds his answer at the beach. Starring an awkward Keith, Surfer Lance and Hunk playing a giant ice berg.

Lance caresses the wood gently. His eyes turn soft as he speaks. “My big brother taught me how to build a board.” He laughs softly. “I always messed it up though. I wasn’t patient enough to do it right.“ He taps on the wood and looks at Keith with a sad smile that knocks the breath out of Keith lungs.

“Who would have thought that I would build a surf board in space though.”

He laughs at that but Keith can tell that Lance is faking it. He always can.

Roller Derby
Like Devo by surveycorpsjean
As rival jammers, they’re rough, skating around the rink, giving bruises, bloody noses, broken ribs and snapped fingers-

But when the cops show up, Keith grabs his hand and yanks Lance into the storm drain.

And thats how they start dating.

Streetracing
Purple Lamborghini by warschach
“I need you to focus on this race. No more hate flirting with Keith as much as I enjoy it. I like winning more.”

He scoffed, “I don’t flirt.”

“Then stop saying you’re going to teach him how to ride.”

“I was talking about driving. Duh,” Lance countered with an attitude mastered purely by Valley girls and entitled customers.

“Yea, Lance it doesn’t come off like that at all. It sounds like you’re gonna fuck him.”

“I’m not.”

ARTISTS (also including Musicians and Modeling)

Photographer
Pretty Boy by MilkTeaMiku (photographer!Keith)
A pretty Spanish boy shoves a bouquet of flowers under his nose and tells him to stop and smell the roses, so Keith does.

Roommates by manamune (photographer!Lance, artist!Keith)
(13:24) Lance: Thank you!! Love you, Keith!!!

(13:55) Keith: I’m screenshotting that for the next time you deny it.

Sight for Sore Eyes by writewild
Photographer!Lance’s deadline for the magazine he works on the side for is coming up really soon, and has to search last-minute photo opportunities soon. One boy catches his eye.

Riptide by songsofthespring (photographer!keith, surfer!Lance)
Keith fumbles with the camera around his neck and lines up a shot. The boy coasting down a wave, one hand kissing the water. Keith zooms in as far as his lens will allow him. Droplets frame the boy’s brown skin and cling to his hair and chest. His eyes, little pinpricks of light from this distance, are nevertheless still recognizably as bright as the ocean itself. It looks like he could be dancing when he rides a wave; every part of his lanky frame seems to merge with the board and the ocean beneath him.

He’s beautiful.

Foreign Scenes (WIP) by bwyn
Lance has been dreaming of travelling since the first time he heard stories from his family as a child. Now, having finally the time and money to do it, he goes on a trip to Europe to see some of the most culturally rich cities on the continent. Except he keeps bumping into the same guy over and over again, in random cities, doing stupid shit, and ultimately dragging Lance into his trouble, too.

Basically an AU in which Lance and Keith become impromptu travel buddies and get into trouble.

Artist
7 Days to Fall For You by saiikavon (artist!Keith, ballerina!Lance)

Keith is an art student who mostly keeps to himself, taking note of the beauty in life but keeping his distance from it. This includes the beautiful dancer he sees across the street from his apartment…until a week-long art project pushes him to change that.

(For Klance Secret Santa 2016)

And Now You’re Mine (WIP) by Samyx914 (some artist!Keith)
“No, really. I’ve been thinking about that movie since I got up and that’s the only copy they have and I want it.”

“But, I was faster.”

“But, I want to watch it.” The stranger laughs.

“Well, you could always come home with me to watch it.” He says with a wink.

“Okay.” The stranger’s eyes widen. What the fuck, Keith? No. You don’t go home with strangers… Anymore. 

In which Keith wants to watch a movie, so he goes to find it at Walmart. When there’s only one copy left and someone else picks it up first, his only option is to go home with a stranger. Keith didn’t count on this stranger being so easy to fall for.

Visions by becca2793
"It’s funny, because as a tattoo artist he makes art that lasts pretty much forever – as far as the person who has it is concerned – but a street artist…their art lasts maybe a couple of days.”

Keith comes in for a tattoo; Lance immediately falls in love. With his art. His love for Keith comes later.

Take the Easel Way Out by svensationalist
Oh no, he’s hot, Lance thinks while he’s dying.

(Pidge elbows Lance sharply a little while later. “You’re not dying, dumbass,” they whisper. “Pay attention, the pose started.”)

***

Written for klanceweek day 1, “Red/Blue”. Art class AU where Lance can’t focus because one of the new life drawing models is too attractive.

Cute as Fcuk by anonymouschupacabra
Even though he had never seen the hot guy before in the year that he’d been going to college, it was like the dam had broken, because Lance saw him everywhere. From the sculpture rooms, to the library, to the cafeteria, the guy was everywhere Lance was, and it only made it that much harder to ignore the hot buzzing he felt inside every time he saw him.

Dancers
7 Days to Fall For You by saiikavon (ballerina!Lance) see above ^

i bet you look good on the dance floor by xShieru
“So like in 'Step Up’?”
Allura shrugs. “Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it’s just like in 'Step Up’.”
The smile that she sends Shiro’s way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn’t believe in dance camps

.-

Lance McClain’s dancing career begins and ends with Keith.

Keith just wants to find out what Lance’s deal is.

you raise me up by rhapsodyinpink
“What, you don’t think I look like Patrick Swayze?”

Keith snickers. “Absolutely not. You are Jennifer Grey in this situation.”

“That’s a fair point. Nobody puts me in a corner,” replies Lance, nodding seriously, before his expression turns mischievous.

“So then…are you saying you want to call me Baby?”

Keith flushes red, but stands his ground as he leans in closer. “Are you saying you want me to?”

Shut Up and Dance With Me (WIP) by wittyy_name
Lance and his friends have been regulars at the Altea Dance Studio for years. Not just for classes, but to hang out, practice, and spend time with good people who love dancing. Every year, they audition to be one of the few representing Altea at the regional dance competition. Lance always auditions solo, but this year he misses out on auditions and blows his chance to participate. And so does his self-proclaimed rival, Keith.

Luckily, Shiro comes up with a brilliant plan: convince Lance and Keith to audition as a duo.

With a little convincing, and a lot of effort, these two might just be able to pull it off and go to regionals… or they might crash and burn.

Musicians
That Would Be Alright by icedsonder
And call it spur of the moment, his exacerbated pining over past few months, or even his own alcohol impaired judgment, but Keith let his inhibitions take a backseat as he took a step forward and pressed his forehead against Lance’s to sing his next lines.

“I know I’ll fall in love with you, baby”

Musically Insane by myparadisepalace
It had only taken Lance three days after becoming the blue paladin to realize there were no instruments in the castle. And even if there were, Lance figured they’d be too obscure and strange for him to be able to play.

PROFESSIONS (i.e. cops, doctors, EMTs, waiters)

Soldiers/Assassins/Spies
Counting in Code by DLanaDHZ
There was no one better in the field. The Voltron Force was efficient and deadly, and they took no new recruits. They were hand-picked, and though they didn’t always get along, they were family. Under the stress of a mission, the team counted each other as a way to calm down and focus. But Keith couldn’t count, because counting meant he knew where everyone was, and right now all he had was a pair of bloody dog tags in place of his partner.

blink if you want me by xShieru
He wakes up to Pidge’s face hovering above him. “You gotta stop running into him like this.”
“Dude, he fucking shot me.”
“I know. We saw.”

-

A hitmen AU wherein two thirsty assholes fall for each other and then jeopardize their respective missions because of it.

Retail/Food (waiters/cashiers/clerks)
Melt With You by dumpsterdiva
If you ask Keith what summer means to him, he’ll say shitty weather, a bag of quarters, sticky blue raspberry kisses, and not-quite-midnight sandwiches.

Summer job AU at the pier feat. Keith as a shaved ice slave and Lance as an aquarium camp counselor.

You Dropped a Bomb by quartetship
Lance loved his job.

OR: The Klance LUSH au

Tollbooth Operator
Drive Me Crazy by battleshidge
Keith stared blankly at the tollbooth operator for a moment before trying to stifle a groan. Somehow, he always managed to get the booth with the flirtatious attendant, a lanky brown-haired man with clear blue eyes and a confident grin. It didn’t matter that he changed what lane he went through—at least three times a week on his way home from work, Keith was forced to suffer through the horrendous flirts that this man tossed his way.

Taxi Driver
Finish What You Started by battleshidge
“You were right,” Keith breathed, looking up at Lance with a fire in his eyes. “I did start this,” he lifted his chin, pressing a soft kiss to Lance’s jaw. And another. And another. Lance thought it was torture—sweet, sweet torture. And then that challenge sparked in Keith’s eyes again as he asked, tone low and resonant, “Are you going to finish it?”

Pizza Delivery
You Stole a Pizza My Heart by KaSaPe
Keith just wanted a pizza. The cute delivery boy with the weird grin and stupid flirting (?) had other plans.

Or: Keith just doesn’t get Lance’s flirting. At all.

Lifeguards
six foot dive (WIP) by shizuoh
“I’m bisexual,” Lance says.

Keith furrows his eyebrows. “Good… for you?”

“I’d like to buy you a drink,” he starts, and grins, “and then get sexual.”

Keith shoves him into the water.

(or: lance and his family go to california for a two-month vacation. cue hot lifeguard keith gyeong-kogane.)

Lessons by amycoolz and SylviaW1991
Keith has been nothing but a thorn in Lance’s side since the mullet-haired ass first walked into the classroom. But when he decides to get himself shoved into the deep end and, wow, can’t even swim, Lance has to save his pretty self and then Pidge volunteers him to teach Keith how to swim. Great. Just great.

Nurse
Racing Heartbeats and Hospital Bedsheets by screwtodayimsleeping (nurse!Keith)
Me: Hunk
Me: Buddy
Me: emergency!!!!
HunkyBae: what’s up, lance? Are they not letting you out of the hospital yet?
Me: HUNK
Me: the male nurse that took my blood was probably the sexiest person i’ve ever seen
Me: and im literally wearing two sheets as an outfit

BUSINESSES (e.g. Coffeeshop, flower shop, animal shelter)

Office
eyes wide to you with wonder by aknightley
Keith doesn’t dislike his job, but he definitely dislikes Lance. Probably. Maybe.

“Coran thinks you’ll bang at the Christmas party but I think that’s giving you guys way too much credit,” Pidge says thoughtfully. “Hunk is a romantic. He thinks Lance is gonna ask you out any day now. I think he’s got a week or so before he owes me like a hundred bucks.”

“Pidge, what the fuck?” Keith says, flustered. He nudges them again with his foot, this time slightly harder. They scowl at him, swatting him away. “Why would you bet on me and Lance?”
Part 1 of Office AU

Flower Shop
i’ll gift you the stars by Kyoshu_Koi
Flowers and stars. At least they were giving him things he liked.

Cactus by PinkHitman
When Keith moves from the desert in the middle of ass backwards nowhere, to plop in the middle of the big city, he doesn’t expect to instantly grow fond of the tall, endearing, jerk across the street. But it’s hard not to see roses when said person works in a flower shop.

Arcade
got game by warschach
Lance hates his job until the one day he doesn’t.

Bakery
you’re so sweet; will you be mine?  by jojotext
A new bakery pops up right across the street from Lance’s bakery.

In which Lance is an idiot, Keith is an asshole, and Pidge is the next Dr. Phil.

Coffeeshop
nothing’s quite as sweet by dimpleforyourthoughts and thebrotherswinchester
Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street.

SOCIAL MEDIA (Tumblr AU, bloggers, Youtubers, gamers)

Youtubers
you had me at merlot by DJAlien
“Oh my God,” Lance says as he covers his face. Keith’s tinny voice blares from his laptop speakers: “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.” See, this joke might have been funny if someone charismatic and charming had said it, but Keith’s flat voice and even flatter expression effectively kidnaps, tortures, and then decapitates any chance of it being remotely humorous.

Keith accidentally starts a YouTube channel. Lance, of course, refuses to be left out. It goes about as well as you’d expect. (Ft. copious amounts of wine and a truly shameless number of references to MyDrunkKitchen, DailyGrace, and general pop culture)

The Boyfriend Tag by theoddpacolypse
Keith and Lance are famous YouTubers, along with the rest of their friends, and though they consider each other “rivals” in some ways, they are actually incredibly close. So close that they are actually dating in secret and constantly dropping hints to their fans, whom desperately want them together.
Part 1 of What Happens on Youtube series

Gamers
Next Level (WIP) by battleshidge
“Dammit, Blue, don’t die on us yet! We only just started!”

Red’s voice snapped in his ears, and Lance cursed under his breath. He tried to backpedal quickly, but being flat on his back with the enemy looming above made for certain movement limitations. On top of that, he was already injured, and he could see the red patch spreading across his thigh. He could really use some of Hunk’s portable healing pods, that was for sure. And that, Lance observed, was a very nasty looking knife that was about to plunge straight through his chest.

Well, shit.

Effect: +100% Love, -100% Logic (WIP) by manamune
In the real world, Lance is barely making it by in his senior year. He’s failing most of his classes and is only one more fuck up away from being kicked off the swim team.

In the virtual reality game Voltron, Lance lives an entirely different life as the internationally-known Blue, an archer with impeccable aim. He’s filthy rich, has a trillion friends, and is a part of the most feared guild in the game.There’s just one problem: he’s madly in love one of his guildmates, Red.

Things begin to go downhill when a kid who acts suspiciously similar to Red transfers to Lance’s school.

Bloggers
a recipe for two by battleshidge
He wondered, briefly, what the look on Lance’s face would be if he actually did say yes.

It’s Mutual (Follow Back Already) by JessicaMDawn
At twenty-four, Keith decides to figure out what this 'tumblr’ thing is. It’s confusing at first, but Keith learns to have fun with it with help from a few new friends. AKA Keith’s adventures on tumblr.

Carousel | 05

Character: Min Yoongi x reader (oc)

Genre/words: Angst, Implied smut, Arranged Marriage! AU / 10,288 words

Summary: He is the successor of his family’s business empire, and you are the female heir of yours. After the trouble his older brother had created in the past, he now must face certain requirements needed for the sake of the family’s future and to save his rights of inheritance, and you become his only way out. Everything might seem so simple, just the way they are supposed to. But everything isn’t always what it seems, is it?

Playlist | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05

Cr.


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I still don't know if he ever got his coffee

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialised area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theatre full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

My thoughts about the youtube clip from the balloon squad when Evens name comes up

1. First Mikael doesn’t seem too concerned when he says Evens name he seems even happy at the beginning

2. But the mood drops very fast!

3. Concentrating on Yousefs face: he first looks almost surprised - surprised about Mikael still having Evens contacts in his phone??

4. But when the boys start talking about Even and what happened with “Even and Mikael back then…” to me, it looks like Yousef is putting some pieces together he might not have realized before (about what happened at Bakka with Even?)

5. Probably Mikael know more about the Even incident than Yousef and Yousef just realized (something about) it.

6. BUT Yousef is the one who is much more affected by whatever happened!

7. When Mikael stops the other guys talking about Even he says “Its not important” and we hear the words but looking on Yousefs face we can feel: IT IS IMPORTANT!

8. And it seems like Mikael shut the others down because its nothing you talk about on the internet in respect to Even, but I have the feeling he also shuts the others down because of Yousef… 

9. Yousef now looks deeply affected / concerned and even sad.

10. Mikael leaves the room after looking down to Yousef with a concerned look 

11: Adam comforting Yousef who looks deeply touched and hurt? To me, it seems like he really has to fight back tears…

What does that mean?

I think, Yousef was much more affected by whatever Even did at Bakka than Mikael (and yes, I think it was Even who DID something). Yousef might not know all secrets about the Even incident. But when it comes to the Even storyline, we should probably concentrate more on Yousef than on Mikael!  Credits to @monstermonstre who brought me on the “Yousef-is-more-important-to-the-Even-storyline”- train and thanks to the discord chat who helped me!!

Made of skin and bones

(not my gifs!)

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Warnings: Language, A/B/O dynamics, obeying the alpha? 

Summary: Due to the premature death of the King of your clan, his son, the alpha James Barnes, must assume his destiny and lead his people. As the tradition commands, he must choose some worthy omegas to make their his wives and with which he will ensure the subsistence of your clan. All the omega women are obliged to appear before their king, including you. Luckily for you, you would never be chosen… right?


1. Wolves

Your feet barely touch the grass while you run through the wet fields breaking the silence with your heavy breath. Your lungs hurt because of the effort and the moon shines upon you enlightning your path even if you don’t need it to guide your steps, you know those woods better than the palm of your hand so you don’t have any trouble in to sorting the rocks and the fallen trees.

Your legs threathen to give up in any moment and you slow down your race, taking deep breaths when you spot a light at the end of the path. You stop completely, watching carefully where do you step, not wanting to make a sound or break a futile twig that gives you away. Reaching the rustic houses you make your way through the large orchads until a small house that you know too well. 

Knocking two times on the wooden door you start to get nervous when you don’t hear a sound inside the house. Nervous you look around searching for wondering eyes that could reveal your position. You shouldn’t be here… if someone catches you…

- Y/N?? - a red head woman, Natasha, opens the window on a burst

- SHHH! - you hush her - Let me in - jumping over the ledge you enter in her home

Behind you, Nat closes the small door on a hurry knowing very well that you are making something really dangerous coming to his clan. Your clan and hers are faced since the two leading alphas get in to a bloody fight a lot of years ago. It has been so long since that fight that no one remembers anymore why you are still vexed, the king alphas had changed many times since then but the hate remains. 

- What are you doing here? - you best friend wrap you with her arms tighly, it has been nearly a month since the last time you saw her

Keep reading

it honestly makes me fucking laugh to consider how much Jade probably incessantly teases Jake and Karkat like WOW you actually fucking did it you unironically fell for a strider you LITERALLY fell for all their ridiculously striderian charms and are in love amazing bravo well done I’m so happy for you and your heartwarming misfortune :) :) :D

Jake is just like LOOK………………… I KNOW. OK? I KNOW….

and dirk is just sweating staring at dave like ok but what does THAT mean and dave is creeping off exit stage right no one look at me I don’t even know these people I know NOTHING and can speak no words about the extremely knowing tone in this vaguely canine woman’s tone good bye

meanwhile karkat is just like look, that garbled flashing barely organic monstrosity you’re obviously so intrigued by is technically like at least a full quarter strider too so I do not want to fucking hear it jade harley do you understand me you are no better than the rest of us get off your fucking pedestal I swear to god

Earth is Space Australia/Humans are Weird

Ok, so I was reminded of Spontaneous Human Combustion and was imagining how aliens would react to how humans are not 100% why it happens.

Alien: What is this term that you used the death report? Spontaneous Human Combustion? What does that even mean?

Human: Well spontaneous means it is a reaction that occurs easily, you know what a human is, and combu-

A: Yes, I know what the words mean. I don’t understand how a human can spontaneously combust though. Surely there was a source of ignition nearby.

H: If there was, it left no trace we could find in the area.

A: This obviously happens often enough to have its own term, so how long has it been going on?

H: Some historians think it has been going on since we started making permanent settlements, possibly longer.

A: There has to have been research into it then! There is no way for there to no information on it!

H: Yeah, there are some commonalities of the victims and causes ranging from ignition sources omitted in reports, to ball lightning. But, there are some cases where a source of ignition that can be identified is, for lack of a better term, nonexistent. This case seems to be one of them.

A: So…Earth can produce conditions where things can just burst into plasma within moments?

H: Yeah? I mean, it isn’t that co-

A: That’s it! As soon as I can, I’m transferring to anywhere else! I am done dealing with this forsaken rock!

Little Even and Sana things :))))
  • Sitting cross-legged on the floor, listening to music and discussing Isalm together
    • Bonus: Sana answering questions Even has about it, because he’s never had anyone – other than Mikael, who he doesn’t talk to anymore – who is so willing to openly talk to him about it
  • Texting each other bits from the Qur’an which they find particularly moving, then discussing it, and the texting turns into hours and hours and paragraphs upon paragraphs of them just…discussing it
  • -Sana sharing little details of her life with Even, like how she sometimes feels really lonely, or how she doesn’t get on with Jamilla. Even doesn’t necessarily say anything, he just listens to her and nods; tries to be as understanding as he can, and just the fact he’s sat there, listening, trying to understand, willing to understand, makes Sana feel a bit better already
    • It gets to the point where Even becomes someone Sana can really trust; who she can talk to and confide in, because he just understands her that bit better than her other friends
    • Sometimes, after a particularly bad day, she’ll find herself calling Even, and she’ll just rant and rant and rant, and Even listens and listens and listens, and afterwards – even if Even hasn’t actually said that much – Sana feels a little lighter
  • After a while, Even opens up to Sana about his bipolar disorder. He tells her that he got into the Qur’an just before a manic episode, and that no one seems to believe his interest in it was genuine; that he’d always been told it was just a manifestation of his illness
    • That night, Sana spends hours and hours googling bipolar disorder, because she really wants to understand Even, too
    • She ends up telling him that whoever told him that his interest in the Qu’ran was disingenuine was talking bullshit, because from what she can see, bipolar disorder doesn’t really work like that; it can intensify your passions but doesn’t really change what you’re passionate about
    • And Even really can’t express how much that means to him; it means so so much, that all he can do is just nod and smile, and he wants to thank her, but he can’t quite find the words. It’s okay, though, because there’s this silent understanding passing between them; they don’t always need words to communicate - they can express how they feel through little knowing glances and nods
  • DRAGGING PEOPLE TOGETHER. Oh GOD, does this happen. They’re this powerful little educational duo; they have different strategies, of course, in tackling ignorance – Sana is slightly more aggressive, whereas Even is much more…passive aggressive, but together?? People need to take a seat
    • One day, it comes out that Even’s showing an interest in the Qur’an, and someone makes a snide comment – says, “What the fuck, you’re white, you can’t be a Muslim”, and Even kind of looks at the floor, a little…unsure; doesn’t know what to say, and that’s where Sana steps in, saying, “Islam is a religion, Einstein, anyone can follow a religion if they want to”
    • And sometimes Even will step in too; when Sana is tired, when she can’t quite bring herself to be her normal, firey self, he’ll step in and shut people down…and they can just read each other, make each other feel better, and make sure no one – absolutely no one – brings the other one down or makes them feel bad or scared or embarrassed
    • When it’s less explicit - when the ignorance is more subtle - they don’t necessarily call people out on it. Instead, they’ll share little knowing glances; roll their eyes at each other and laugh a little, smile a little, as if to say, this person is chatting shit, I know it, you know it, you’re not alone, I see it too, and I’m here with you

To conclude: Even and Sana have the potential to have a beautiful, beautiful friendship and I am SO READY for it to rise in S4.