as someone who ships spideypool, i wanna acknowledge that the ship DOES have a history of abuisve behavior, and although that behavior is being talked about and actively worked on, if people aren’t okay with it ever being a factor in that dynamic then that’s valid. however what isn’t okay, is when people try to say that wade was the abusive one. bc nah, it was peter. i love peter parker, y'all know this, he’s my favorite marvel character. for the most part peter is a truly good person, but he can also be a really stubborn and thoughtless jerk sometimes. this isn’t news, this is something his character has struggled with b4 especially when stressed out. and it’s something he’s struggled with in his relationship with wade. for the better part of their relationship, peter was very verbally abuisve to wade. he didn’t want to even try to get to know wade, he judged wade, and he verbally abused him. he would lash at out wade for little to no reason, he would mock him, he would degrade him, he would judge him for his mental illness, his scars, and his history. peter was mean, he had no interest in getting to know wade or even trying to understand what made him who he was, and although his anger was often caused by very stressful and dangerous situations (that were granted often caused by wade) sometimes he would say cruel things to wade completely unwarranted.
as their relationship has progressed, peter has acknowledged this behavior as wrong and has also realized that verbal abuse only pushed wade deeper into the harmful things that peter hated him for to begin with. peter has since acknowledged that he was being cruel, he was judging wade before even getting to know him, and he has been trying to be more kind, more thoughtful, and the kind of person that wade actually needs in his life. “insults” he throws at wade now are much more like banter and based in fondness, like how you would talk when teasing a friend. peter still sometimes does say something that is a bit too far, but when this happens now he will usually realize this and apologize whereas he wouldn’t before. i love spideypool, the relationship between peter and wade is complex and it has really grown over the last two year in particular. they’re both very complex characters with very glaring flaws, and likewise very good and unique qualities. but the beginning stages of their relationship were kind of abusive, and people who don’t like that regardless of how the relationship has healed and progressed are valid. but that abuse, it wasn’t on wade’s part.
peter was narrow-minded, and often needlessly cruel. wade is certainly no angel either, duh, but any “abuse” he’s dealt at peter has never been intentional. people like to say that wade was abuisve to peter because one time wade actually killed peter, but they conveniently ignore that wade didn’t even know peter, and that wade had been manipulated into thinking that peter was doing horrible experiments on humans similar to that of weapon x. and they ignore that once wade realized he had been tricked, he actually traveled into the afterlife to save peter from death and bring him back to life. wade isn’t abuisve to peter, he isn’t abuisve to spider-man. he makes mistakes, but he acknowledges and corrects those when they happen and he always tries to learn to be a better hero like spidey. peter didn’t used to do that, he would ignore his mistakes and behavior, he wouldn’t apologize to wade, he was abusive. but he has acknowledged this, he is changing and learning from wade to be more patient and understanding and open-minded. spider-man is teaching deadpool to be a super hero despite being a broken man, deadpool is teaching peter how to be a better man despite being a super hero.
if you don’t like spideypool fine. whether it be because you just don’t ship them, or you can’t look past their rocky beginnings, i understand that. but i’m tired of people acting like peter is completely innocent, and that wade is what would make the ship questionable, when it would be the other way around. peter is my favorite marvel character because he is so complex, he tries so hard to be a hero and he IS a hero, but through that he can sometimes view “good” and “bad” in extreme black and whites as if there’s no in-between, and this can cause him to be cruel and stubborn to people like wade. and you’re supposed to see that, you aren’t supposed to just ignore his flaws. the writers wanted you to see how cruel peter was being to wade, they wanted you to look at peter and say “hey, spidey, we get that you hate murder and therefore would logically hate deadpool, but maybe learn about him before you condemn him” deadpool is the anti-spidey, he’s spidey’s foil, and through that dynamic you were supposed to see the flaws in peter parker’s morals in addition to seeing the obvious flaws in wade’s. you weren’t supposed to support peter’s initial attitude towards wade, their dynamic was intended to show the flaws in Both of them and then eventually try to mutually heal those flaws, you were supposed to realize that spider-man is flawed too and even he has lessons to learn. and he is finally learning them, peter has apologized and has been trying to change this behavior and be the kind of person that wade actually needs in his life, but he WAS abusive towards wade and that shouldn’t be erased, and it certainly shouldn’t be thrown back onto wade just bc wade is a morally gray anti-hero.