what does it want from us

anonymous asked:

If the mysterious symbol resembles a comet, and a drop of sunlight is what caused the sunflower to grow....what might cause a moonflower to grow that also falls from the sky? Maybe a chunk of the comet broke off and became a meteor? Just sayin' XD

Okay, I’m gonna reel you back a moment and remind you not to think so literally. Sunlight does not literally come in drops. Therefore, you can be as fanciful as you want when it comes to something like this.

But let’s also look at it like this: in the concept, the moon is the opposite of the sun. The sun grants life. A drop of sunlight would be not unlike rain, which is also a lifegiver. If the moon takes life away, what could be used to represent that?

Moondust, for example. It’s a real thing, but it can’t fall from the sky (in reality), and might call to mind grave dust. I imagine it would resemble pixie dust as it falls, but maybe, even as the moonflower grows, it pulls the nourishment out of the surrounding soil.


Tonight I really didn’t feel like eating my nutritious leftovers from last night for dinner.  I really could have gone for some hot chips or something similar.

So what did I do?  

I actually cooked something else that was better suited to the sort of food I wanted, but it was still highly nutritious and in line with todays macro goals.

I can be a responsible adult.  It’s a rarity, but it does happen.  

okay, so you know how they have the whole lineup at the end of episode 8 in season 2 with everyone and their weapons prepping to fight the demodogs?

lucas and his #iconic slingshot protecting his girl, Max

of course hopper has his semi-automatic weapon b/c why not?

steve protecting his son dustin with also #iconic nail bat

And Nancy has a rifle because no one else knows how to use it (and she’s the biggest badass in this entire series)…but WTF IS MIKE DOING?????



Accurate first impressions of Kpop groups
  • <p> <b>Super Junior:</b> "so many members??? so many sub-groups/units??? suju is literally every other kpop groups' dads. been in the game for so long and still run kpop. Trendsetters. Legendary. all of them are MCs. Why aren't they running SM by themselves???"<p/><b>BigBang:</b> "badass!! cars!!! sad?? emo??? party!!!! every group looks up to them and admires them.....your fave's faves. weird dancing(?) but they're always lit. it's always a bigbang concert whenever they perform. why is that one guy so tall? that one guy is popular in Japan!!! the difference between Jiyong & G-dragon is scary."<p/><b>SHINee:</b> "it feels like everyone has solo projects and they probably get together only for Christmas or to get turnt up. are they Japanese?? i think those 2 short guys are dating idk. wtf why is he called tofu....why is he called bling bling.......WTF IS A DIBIDIBIDIBI-"<p/><b>Infinite:</b> "wow they dance so in sync w/ each other. probably heard their catchy af songs before really diving into the fandom. created the scorpion dance, how epic. they just seem so real?? like they're brothers??? is that one a girl or a boy??<p/><b>VIXX:</b> "so tall. so violent. so shippable w/ everyone. pretty sure they have a confirmed gay sub-unit?? their maknae likes to bully them. jellyfish doesn't deserve them. so.....they're vampires, voodoo dolls, 8 year old kids, video game characters, Greek gods....what can't this group do????"<p/><b>BTOB:</b> "everyone knows about their reputation, they're wild af. hella tiny compared to normal human beings. i was blinded when looking @ that guy's smile he's an angel sent from heaven. their songs either make you wanna cry into your pillow or join a high school musical is2g."<p/><b>EXO:</b> "they seem kinda scary/intimidating bc SM won't let them fangirl. everyone's an exo fangirl and fanboy on the inside. iM crEEPin iN Ur HeARt BAbE. they literally glow on stage??? are they still wolves???? do they still have superpowers??? who is Chinese and who is Korean??? i thought there were 12....."<p/><b>B.A.P:</b> "so are they best absolute perfect or are they called rice? weird aliens/rabbits is a concept i never knew i needed. they sued their company together but there's always one guy who kills them all? why??? everyone who talks about b.a.p wants to skydive i'm so confused. so is that hot guy w/ the deep ass voice actually their grandfather??"<p/><b>Got7:</b> "so many different races in 1 group i'm living. bruh their dorms must be so wild, how are they raising a dog??? rapline is kinda weak........they could still get it tho. all of them have such vibrant personalities MUST. RESIST. STANNING. their second name is dab7? i don't know them."<p/><b>Seventeen:</b> "ok joke's on us, we all thought we couldn't remember exo's names but shitballs, seventeen exists. wow they seem so fun to be around, i want to be their friend. their leader must have approximately 8.9 breakdowns everyday. how are they always so happy??? they're legit stranded on an island ffs. dino is 100% their real baby."<p/><b>Monsta X:</b> "so THAT'S the member that everyone loves bc he's such a meme. do they always remix their songs when performing??? they're so lit???? i'm still confused as to why this group doesn't have a first win. came to check them out bc of got7 and wasn't disappointed."<p/><b>Day6:</b> "lmao that famous guy from twitter is in a kpop group???? why does it feel like JYP is just letting them run around the company and do whatever they want at this point....does JYP even know they exist?? their songs make you wanna hit up your nonexistent ex *jams sadly*. who's bob???"<p/><b>iKon:</b> "they shouldn't be the next bigbang or the next anything, they're low-key doing amazing already. bad first impressions always turn into good ones when yall take the time to know them. they literally have their own anthem??? what's a visual i only know ikon."<p/><b>NCT:</b> "there SM goes again, tempting us w/ new groups but depriving us of comebacks. how is taeyong supposed to hold the fort down when he has 40 kids he hasn't even met yet?? they're exo's biggest fanboys, everyone needs to stan them asap. if they didn't look and sound so good, i'd sue SM for dressing them like they're homeless. the dreamies are so spoiled by the hyungs and their company. MY CHILDREN????"<p/></p>

Criminy there’s a lot of Lapis/Lapidot hate in the tags today.

Let us recap.


  • …has undergone huge amounts of trauma, first by being caught in the middle of a war she wasn’t meant to be involved in, then being trapped in the mirror, then by her forced fusion with Jasper.
  • …likely has PTSD.
  • …is shown panicking when she hears that Steven has managed to piss off and escape from two of the Diamonds.
  • …knows that the Diamonds know that Steven is from Earth, know exactly where Earth is, and also what they’re capable of.
  • …instinctively wants to escape with Peridot, actively talking about bringing “our whole life with us”.
  • …is willing to literally uproot an entire barn to keep Peri happy.
  • …has trouble understanding why Peri would want to stay when escaping is so much easier, and ultimately opts to flee due to her trauma.
  • …is still hesitant and torn, right to the very last moment.
  • …still obviously cares deeply for Peri.


  • …does not have the same trauma that Lapis has.
  • …was able to rebel against the Diamonds on her own terms, making her own choices, instead of her trauma being inflicted against her like Lapis’ was.
  • …finds strength and empowerment in being able to fight back, contrasting with Lapis, who withdraws.
  • …is still nonetheless depressed pretty much on the regular, and has been completely ignoring it.
  • …has been an active part of Lapis beginning to heal from her trauma, helping her be cheerful, lighthearted, warm, and sociable.
  • …has been putting huge amounts of effort - bending over backwards - to try to keep Lapis happy and safe from harm, to her own detriment.
  • …has not been able to ‘fix’ Lapis’ trauma.
  • …still obviously cares deeply for Lapis.

Lapis and Peridot…

  • …are both mentally ill, with Peri’s depression and Lapis’ PTSD.
  • …have different responses to trauma.
  • …haven’t been communicating like they should be.
  • …endure a separation that neither of them actually want that makes both parties depressed.

And finally, Steven and Connie…

  • …haven’t been communicating like they should be.
  • …endure a separation that neither of them actually want that makes both parties depressed.
  • …ultimately communicate and are honest with each other and reconcile and move on stronger than ever.

Lapis will be back - this is absolutely not the last we’ve seen of her. There are so many parallels between Steven and Connie, and Lapis and Peridot in these episodes, and while Steven and Connie have their reconciliation much more quickly (given that Connie is in the same city and not, you know, in space), I have no doubt whatsoever that Lapis will return, that Peri and Lapis’ communication problems will ultimately be addressed, and they’ll be able to move on stronger than ever.

Who Do You Love

Many of us, like hounds with a scent, have honed in on that one part of the Qstiel line: “I know who you love…”

But there’s a problem with taking a single line out of context: it’s easy to mold it into whatever we want to believe. Non-shippers can make a convincing argument that that one line is about Cas’ platonic love for several people just as easily as a shipper can argue that line is about singular and romantic love. 

No matter who you are, what you believe, we HAVE to rewind and look at the FULL CONTEXT. And the full context is whittled down to romantic love. From what we know from canon and from the symbolism, we can easily surmise that Qstiel is referring to a singular and romantic love. 



Qstiel: “Oh save it.”
            Qstiel is calling bullshit. What has the narrative of the show been trying to define? Singular versus plural. Romantic versus platonic. And here’s Cas using the excuse that the brothers, as a unit, need him in order to get Qstiel to send him back home.

            Qstiel wants Cas to stop lying to himself. This isn’t about Sam. And Cas has no idea if he’s needed. Now Cas does want to be wanted, but only by one human (which we gather from the rest of what is said). It’s time for everyone to appropriately use we/I, us/me, them/him. 

Qstiel: “I have tiptoed through all your little tulips.”

            Let me save some time and space: read the lyrics to the song here. Flowers are a major symbolic tool in Supernatural. Out of all the things Qstiel could liken Cas’ thoughts to and it’s about TULIPS. Tulips represent true/perfect love with a mythology based on star-crossed lovers, one of which SAILS OFF A CLIFF… uhhh… Dabb? Is that a toss to: “So what, I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just gonna hold hands and sail off this cliff together?”.

            So basically, out of everything Qstiel could glean from Cas’ mind, he picks apart Cas’ ROMANTIC THOUGHTS. He doesn’t pick up on power-hungry Godstiel and use that against Cas. He doesn’t talk about Cas’ life before the Winchesters or even about being an angel. Nope, he brings up the tulips (true love) and in the next breath: memories and feelings.  

Qstiel: “…your memories, your little feelings, yes.“

            This is the second time he says ‘little’. Little tulips = little feelings. Of course, they’re not actually little, especially to an angel. Feelings are a big deal! Using the word ‘little’ is a mockery to Cas’ love. It’s another way to try and make Cas himself feel stupid for thinking his love could be returned (Qstiel mocks Cas’ intelligence several times). 

            Listen to Qstiel’s tone, too. He’s airing out Cas’ dirty little secret, in a mocking tone and with exaggerated facial expressions. There is no reason to taunt a platonic love. Qstiel is the bully dangling Cas’ deepest secret to use as a weapon against him. He’s mentally, emotionally and physically abusive to Cas in their scenes.

            And I don’t know about you, but when I had a secret love or crush, I kept it close to my heart. I would have been mortified had someone violated my mind and treated me like Cas is being treated here. Any other loves (familial, friendships) aren’t a secret and aren’t taboo. If just friends, just bros, it wouldn’t be a big deal.

Qstiel: “I know what you hate. (whispering) I know who you love. What you fear.”

            Qstiel didn’t say, “I know you love them.” He didn’t say, “I know those you love.” Everything in these statements is singular and yet packed with complexity: Cas hates not being with Dean, whom he loves, and he fears his love is unrequited. What fear is there in love unless it is a love with great risk to one’s heart?           

Qstiel: “There is nothing for you back there, no.”

            How can Qstiel get Cas to shut up, lay down and go back to sleep? Why, show him all of the horrible things he has gone through in the name of that (singular) love, of course. Make him believe it is one-sided and not worth fighting to go back to, make him believe his worst fear is truth. Qstiel is lying to Cas here. 


After Cas mentions Sam and Dean, it isn’t, “Oh I know you love them but they don’t love you back.” No, it was, “You think you can fool me into thinking Sam and Dean need you? We both know the truth because I saw inside your head and I saw the ONE you love but it’s a shame he doesn’t love you back. Just go to sleep and forget about him.”

This entire scene was also another, “You have to choose: us or them,” moment for Cas, which of course is also in the singular. Cas can choose himself or he can choose to go back to Dean.  

Just as Cas faced Metatron, Naomi, Hannah and other angels, he also faced Qstiel, a cosmic entity masquerading in his God-given body/image and told him to FUCK OFF.

Despite the shit he’s gone through, despite the pain and sorrow, despite possible unrequited love… he still chooses Dean. His LOVE for Dean PIERCES THE VEIL OF DEATH so he can return to him.

It’s always been about one human.
Dean is Cas’ weakness.
It is all canon and it’s gorgeous.

I wholeheartedly believe this LOVE Qstiel is speaking of is singular, romantic and about Dean. 


anonymous asked:

*Patiently waiting for the full story behind the recent klance comic*

we were chillin on the stadium getting ready for roll call in gym and these two dudes and a chick come out (they’re all freshmen if that says anything.) and one dude is always joking around and making gay jokes and what not. and the other one does too. but one day one of the guys (we’ll call him dude 1) has a football and says “hey if i make this into the trash can, then i gotta kiss allura (obviously i changed the name bc i honestly dont remember her name nor do i care) but if i miss then i gotta kiss you” and the whole time the girl was saying no like she doesnt want to be kissed or whatever and dude 2 is just laughin away. (note this trashcan is like. a good 40 feet away from us) but dude one just w i l d l y throws it no where near the trash can okay. so the girl is like “lol yeah go ahead kiss him.” and dude one walks up slowly and bRUSHES HIS FACE AND KISSES HIM. LIKE HAVE NEVER BEEN SO SHOCKED IN MY GOD DAMN LIFE OKAY. and then a few seconds pass and dude two just laughs and goes “BRO THAT WAS THE MOST HOMOSEXUAL THING IVE EVER DONE!!” i was trying so hard not to laugh at this point like h o n e y,,,, its o k a y.

I'm Not Your Toy: Part Two

A/N: Welp this is seven thousand words of pretty much pure smut. Like literally. Enjoy.

Word Count: 7k+

Warnings: NSFW. Ooey Gooey smut. Vaginal fingering, tit worship, rough/loving sex.

Summary: You’d supported Steve and his decision to not kill Bucky. Fuck, you even supported Steve when he’d literally started a war over Bucky. Done jail time for him. But you what you couldn’t manage to do for the life of you, for the love of Steve, was get along with Bucky. Especially when he managed to make you blush every time you were in the same room as the man


Everythings a little bit of a…blur.

The strong dose Percocet had kicked in and turned your mind into slow moving mush. You clearly remember inviting Bucky to bed with you, and him crawling in next to you, but leaving enough space between the two of you so that your bodies didn’t touch. He was being so careful, so aware of you. So good to you. Even though you knew he was just as exhausted- mentally and physically, as you were from the mission.

Keep reading

hogwarts houses as students

*based on people I know*


  • neat handwriting
  • always shows up 1 second before class starts
  • class president
  • teachers always love or hate them
  • relatively quiet unless they know the subject by heart
  • would rather be really bad in a subject than average
  • most likely to study economics 
  • 10/10 would bring their pet to school every day if they were allowed
  • dresses up for the first day of school
  • “Do you think mr. Smith will let me skip the test if I say I accidentally ate weed brownies?”
  • wear uggs and are proud of it
  • brings a phone charger every day, and charges $5 for 30 minutes of use for everyone except their friends


  • “WHAT? we have a test tomorrow??”
  • the prankster 
  • watches youtube in class, without sound
  • constantly arranging events (costume events, halloween, sports day, pyjama day)
  • complains about wanting to take a gap year every day
  • doesn’t give a fuck about their handwriting
  • thinks homework is unnecessary but does it anyway
  • can’t study without music
  • loves p.e.
  • the one who always buys food from the cafeteria
  • really interested in learning about other cultures
  • hates wearing glasses but looks really cute in them
  • thinks dress codes are hopeless and should be abolished right away


  • starts the day with tea
  • gets really mad when the teacher says “tea isn’t allowed in this class”
  • uses every highlighter color so that every color feels valued
  • the one who remembers every single birthday and brings the birthday kid cake
  • “Why can’t we make croissants in French class?”
  • every day is a great hair day for hufflepuffs
  • wants to get into med school and works so hard to accomplish it
  • always the ones standing up to bullying
  • writes poems all the time
  • brings blankets for the people who always fall asleep at school
  • always asking if anyone needs help
    • helpful af


  • only notices that one grade they were disappointed with 
  • the library is their happy place
  • always shows up early or always shows up late
  • “flashcards are too basic, mind maps are better”
  • procrastinating, and then pulling all-nighters
  • obsessed with grammar
  • would rather discuss conspiracy theories than pay attention
  • most likely to love black coffee
  • always wants to beat the slytherins
  • “Why are teachers so damn stupid????”
  • caffeine addicts since the age of 12
  • books > people
  • wears Christmas sweaters from october to january
  • jazz, blues and classical music lovers

Okay but has anybody else notices that reputation really does follow a linear timeline? I mean take a line from each song. Knew he was a killer, first time that I saw him → so here’s a truth from my red lips → they never see it coming, what i do next → they say she’s gone too far this time → my reputation’s never been worse → but I got smarted I got harder in the nick of time → and all the pieces fall right into place. → I’ve got a boyfriend, he’s older than us → I wanted to leave him, I needed a reason → We met a few weeks ago → I loved you in secret → They’ve got no idea about me and you → so call it what you want to → I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year’s day

Keep Your Hands on Your Juicebox || TOM HOLLAND IMAGINE

Originally posted by theunholyqueens

Originally posted by sadie96dr3amz

REQUEST: Okay uhm… hello there! Here’s a request: Being Sebstan’s little sister, and he’s a very protective big brother, and the reader trying to make their boyfriend, Tom, believe that none of the threats their brother did was going to happen. (In another words, cause I think I sound confusing: Reader dates Tom. Reader is Sebastian’s younger sister. Sebastian is overprotective and Tom gets a bit scared of him, but Reader reassures Tom everything’s gonna be okay.) - @bitterqueenofhearts

PAIRING: Tom Holland x Reader


WARNINGS: Slight swearing, fluff

CHARACTERS: Tom Holland, Reader ft. Sebastian Stan 

A/N: Oh my goodness, when I got this request I was so happy and so excited to do it! I hope you guys enjoy it. If you want a request then it’s in the link below. 


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anonymous asked:

Does that mean we can't call him Rap Monster ? I liked that name tho...

This ask is about this post HERE

It’s just what he wants the general public to recognize him as from now on. It’s not forbidden but more preferred because the more we use it the more non-ARMYs will hear of it and get used to it too.  Aside from the tag I have been addressing Namjoon as RM for a while now and I promise you it’s no big deal to get used to (knowing that I always loved Rap Monster and I still do) 

Originally posted by cinnaminsuga-kookie

Since he changed his Fancafe ID HERE and was addressed as RM in a couple articles and used it in tweets and more it’s no surprise that he replaced it officially now. He was preparing us for it all along. This is also the perfect time for this transaction because it’s before their US debut. Rap Monster is truly a name that helped more people recall and get interested in BTS but it also bought a lot of hate and burden to Namjoon. Having that name means being the best rapper there is but even Namjoon has his limits as a rapper when he is in a group. When you are in a group rather than spitting the most complicated rhymes you sometimes go for something easy so listeners can sing along to. There are many limitations, that’s why Namjoon thought RM will be a better fit to express the artist he became today.

So let’s respect his choice and support it. It’s still the same Namjoon we all love and honor.

I don’t think it’s Dark. Obviously, the person behind this is hiding their identity. Why would Dark need to do that? He’s, as the fans have concluded, a demon. He isn’t human at the very least. So why would he go through the effort of trying to cover his tracks, especially when we already know who he is and what he wants? 

The youtube icon changing (still hasn’t for me rip). It’s the old Mark. The Mark from the original markiplier channel. But he does look more like the Author in that picture. He did comment about that picture awhile back about how it was when he was trying to be edgy/cool, I believe…?

So… back to the ransom letters and crypticness. Why so convoluted? Why so orchestrated like a horror story….? A story…? It sounds like something an author would write, doesn’t it? Throw us through a loop. Deep puzzles and whatnot… 

Revenge…? Who killed Markiplier…? Was it the Host as revenge for his current state…? The Author did write horror stories afterall… But why would it be revenge…? Unless it’s not revenge.

He’s leaving us clues. This is a puzzle and I’m pretty sure he wants us to figure it out. Why hint at the old channel…? Why the time stamps…? Why the photographs…? Why the total blackout, except for the picture on Youtube…?

Is it the Host? Is Mark actually dead in this…? 

Here is Part Two, Lapidot the Permafusion.
Part One is Here.
Here is all the evidence I’ve gathered so far to support this theory.

As we covered in Part One, the both of them wanted to play the part of “The Garnet” in The Crystal Temps, but Garnet is two gems fused together by choice due to their intensive romantic love and need for the other.

I feel the point is driven home with the carwash sign, something that combines the elements of metal and water, that they made together after a commune. It’s color is even a green-blue (or turquoise) color.

This promotional art for the Episode Barnmates

Notice the Barn>Mates, with two in the barn and three near the mates. I think this is a mini-marker of sorts in Peridots arcs because it’s right before Episodes with either Lapis and Peridot at the Barn (the two) or Shorty Squad (The three mates). It also has the greater than sign between Barnmates, perhaps implying “the two” in the barn are more than just mates. Rupphire and Opal are also pictured here with them, and Garnet *is* the resident Permafusion.

I’ve mentioned how Lapidot parallels Larsadie but it also parallels Rupphire quite a bit MORE. Just check out the essay by @jenhedgehog on this, linked here.

I’ll just add that as far as recent episodes go, the parallels have only increased, such as Peridot reacting in a very negative way when Lapis flies off in “Room for Ruby” and how Ruby acts when she’s separated from Sapphire. It’s very similar. Peridot doesn’t know what to do with herself and she just wants to be alone- Just like Ruby when she was separated from Sapphire by Jasper. It took her a moment to even process Steven had escaped because she was so focused on Sapphire and she kept trying to use her future vision because she’d been used to being able to for so long and it’s what she does in times like these and she “Can’t see” not without Sapphire.

Similar to this dependency is Peridots reaction to Lapis leaving. She’s the gem that values order and aesthetic perfection, and she’s wallowing in a chaotic mess of a bathroom, listening to sad country songs, the age old my girlfriend left me stereotype trope. Peridot see’s no hope in the future, she’s terrified thinking maybe Lapis is gone forever and things can never grow between them now, she’s only occupying herself because she has “literally nothing else to do” implying Lapis was her whole world, without her Peridot doesn’t even know what to DO at this point Lapis has become a piece of her and she’s feeling that loss and you can bet Lapis is too, especially judging by that regretful face before flying off.

The “glassy eyes” effect even comes back here as they discuss staying or leaving. The foreshadowing has come full circle, it was foreshadowed they would become close, it was foreshadowed they would hit a rough patch, it is still foreshadowed they will reunite and reach a commune and then… You know what comes next.

The intensity and emotion behind their separation also communicates how much they mean to each other and definitely implies a relationship that was nearing romantic confession (almost becoming the garnet but not quite getting it right, like in the crystal temps)

There is also a mild outrage over Lapis “taking the barn” but due to the stress of losing Peridot I doubt Lapis functionally realized what she’d even done in the moment. She was just doing whatever she could to get Peridot to come with her after all. Peridot wanted Lapis to understand the importance of staying here on Earth, with Steven, defending THEIR home and that LAPIS can win and PERIDOT believes in her. It’s too weak of a word to call it merely “touching” it goes beyond that. This whole dynamic was building up to it’s big moments like these and it shows, the drama is there, the tense orange/sunset palette used for complicated tense emotional scenes is present (versus the dark mystery blue that usually tints sweet/romantic scenes), this split took as much a toll on Lapis as it did Peridot. This conveyed how Lapidot isn’t one sided, about the only thing Lapis wouldn’t do to keep Peridot is beg and she was probably close to it when she flew off, leading to a mental shut down where she hardly even processed cognitively anymore, she just needed to get far away and now she’ll feel the gravity of what’s happened.

Alone, in space. With their home, without the one that makes it “Home” I’m 100% certain the crew had Lapis take the barn for PLOT related reasons rather than some anti-lapidot fantasy like they hate her and think people with ptsd are barren wastelands and they want to randomly clear the way for some other ship- your interpretations have already been officially debunked so please stop.

Lapis took the barn because narratively this sets it up to where Lapis is staring at her and Peridots meepmorps, their things, their hammock, their decorations, their camp pining hearts collection- no matter where Lapis looks she’s going to be reminded of Peridot.

Even the Barn Gem with it’s green little bubble is going to be a reminder of Peridot. I’ll bet it’s going to make a plot related appearance here soon, because the gem didn’t go to the barn. It went to Lapis. I think the gem only went to the Barn because Home for Peridot is wherever Lapis is and it’s the exact same for Lapis, so if the bubble popped for any reason and Lapis had to rebubble it, if she were to “tap it to send it home” it wouldn’t go back to the barn… It’d go to wherever Peridot is.

Now for my biggest reason behind thinking Lapis and Peridot will fuse and I’m a little excited because it involves another favorite character and couple of mine and I’ve never seen this theory or meta pitched before.

The biggest reason I think Lapis and Peridot will fuse has to do with, the tape recorder.

Back during Log Date 7 15 2 when Peridot was trying to understand Garnet, a truly interesting dynamic was born. Garnet was teasing and flirtatious with Peridot, offering her a chance to understand her better by fusing, which earns a hilarious response from Peridot, but she doesn’t outright reject her. They attempt- but Peridot can’t do it. This is something she has very little practice and understanding in and it makes her feel nervous.

Garnet understands and says “It’s alright, you’re not ready, that’s fair.”

It’s interesting TO ME though, because Garnet has future vision, and as she explained, some pathways form into waterfalls. Some conclusions are inevitable even if there were many pathways before them they can take, and sometimes they all lead to one.

I think Garnet saw something having to do with Peridot being a Permafusion in the future. That’s why she teases her, it’s why she’s being gentle but flirty, shocking Peridot with her forwardness. Garnet knew Peridot wouldn’t fuse right there, that she may not even agree and that’s why our Garnet gets to be “proud” of Peridot in this reality, it’s one where Peridot chose to try, but all the same Garnet sees one ultimate endgame in store for Peridot and it amuses Garnet that after all they’ve been through- it’s Peridot who will eventually become a Permafusion just like she is.

There are also a total of THREE hints in this episode that the gem Peridot fuses with permanently, will be Lapis.

In order to get Peridot to understand why Garnet likes being fused all the time, Garnet uses Camp Pining Hearts to get her point across, Which is Lapis and Peridots favorite show.

When questioned “what” Garnet is doing as a fusion by Peridot she answers “stargazing” because she was currently stargazing, and when Peridot remarked that she could do that alone, Garnet replied “Don’t want to”

“Look! Theres a star to wish on!”
Peridot and Lapis “stargazing” and even waiting for one to wish on- together.

And last but not least, the tape recorder. The tape recorder that Steven gave to Peridot so she could vent out her thoughts and feelings. Steven wondered when Peridot and Garnet got so close as he held the tape recorder, take note that Garnet with her future vision was probably aware that as she walked into what was left of the barn, she’d get hit in the face with the Tape Recorder, she let it happen so she could catch it. Effectively keeping it from being broken prematurely.

She also attempted to return it herself until handing it to Steven, who begins the journey of listening in on Peridots logs, learning that Garnet and Peridot considered fusing and Garnet at the end talks to Steven in Present Day from that Moment in the past, confusing Peridot and clueing us in that Garnet was well aware of the events of that Present Day transpiring as far back as when Peridot made her logs. It clues us in that on that day when Garnet asked Peridot to fuse with her, her mind was on the future.

Garnet leaves the message for future Steven “Give the Tape Recorder back to Peridot, she’s going to want to keep it.” which is interesting because Peridot JUST discarded it, but GARNET seems to know the importance of the Tape Recorder, within this episode the camp pining hearts series is also introduced, another early foreshadowing of Peridot and Lapis, the romantic nature of their bond, and the tension over the subject of a war- all before they officially lived together.

The Tape Recorder was the final straw between Lapis and Peridot in Barnmates.

Lapis rethought her adamant refusal after that final straw, as Peridot left at her request, respecting her wishes down to the very last, and Steven scolded her for her stubbornness. This then leads into Lapis saving Peridot and the two becoming inseparable- and miserable when apart. Something I bet Garnet can see with her future vision and I’m also theorizing Garnet has seen the future fusion of Peridot and Lapis and has seen enough to know they’ll want to stay like that 98.99% of their lives.

Garnet was doing Peridot a solid and looking out for her- she knew the Tape Recorder would get crushed, but that Lapidot itself was inevitable to come out of it. Peridot wouldn’t NEED the tape recorder when she could just talk to LAPIS now, and get responses, something a Tape Recorder can’t do for you.

Thanks for reading! Sorry it’s long! I could keep going honestly but I’ll stop here!

9x03 Deconstruction: The Burrito of Sexual Innuendo

So I started building this post in August, because I noticed the possible subtext in the final scene of this episode and I found it fucking hilarious, and then I didn’t get the chance to finish so yayyy happy to get to share it now. 

So, I know this episode has some serious, serious issues, but I’m going to look at this scene as is, because Bucklemming even brought the Burrito of Sexual Innuendo back in 13x02 and, well, I just have to comment on it now.

This is Destiel subtext all the way. Which Bucklemming have always excelled at. And it’s this show’s sense of humour in a goddamn nutshell. It just makes me smile and smile and smirk and rub my hands together with pure glee.

The scene is set in the bunker, in the war room, starting with Dean trying to cover the fact that he used Gadreel to find Cas. The brothers talk and Cas enters, saying this –>

Cas: I am really enjoying this place. Plentiful food… good water pressure. Things I never even considered before. There really is a lot to being human, isn’t there?

At the water pressure comment Dean makes this face:

It’s like he can’t even believe that this is happening. That Cas is actually human and making remarks that hit on the exact thing Dean enjoys about the place and being overtly perfect in every single sense of the word and looking really fucking good to boot and just yeah, to me Dean is pretty much thinking “fuck off you amazing specimen of a man - don’t make me desire you more”

It’s the thoughts - or suppressed thoughts - of desiring Cas, however, that makes Dean offer this really, truly, markedly what’s-that-even-MEAN? comment in return:

…while bringing the penis shaped food slowly to his half-open mouth. 

Now, if this particular above editing choice hadn’t been a part of this scene, then the subtext would be different for me. It’s the fact that they cut BEFORE Dean bites into the burrito that makes this shot so filled with innuendo. 

The clincher, however, is the shot they cut to of Sam Winchester making this face at his brother’s weird-ass phrasing –>

That is Sam’s face telling us to react with him to what the fuck Dean is going on about.

What is Dean going on about?

Well, the subtext of Dean’s weird-ass phrasing could be seen as him really wanting to say “It can’t be all dicks and vaginas, my friend” but of course he wouldn’t go there, so instead he uses the much safer “burritos” and “strippers” as substitute words to keep it not so revealing. 

(only Sam so totally knows)

Well, the phrasing is still so revealing, isn’t it?

I mean, the “vagina” portion could be linked to how the one-night-stands have always been a hollow filler of Dean’s conflicting yearning and absolute fear of feeling real feelings, right? At least that’s what the one-night-stands are to me. And in this scenario the burrito is so absolutely totally standing in for dick, as per the visual above tells us.

Why should I even for a second think that this might be a valid reading, though?

Because of the surface topic of the scene itself: which is Cas losing his virginity.

Dean doesn’t know that yet. He subtly tries to seduce Cas with that movement of penis shaped food to his mouth, with the innuendo of it all. Testing the waters, as it were, trying to bring sex onto the table because he desires Cas like damnnnn.

Honestly, I don’t even think Dean himself is fully aware of performing this song and dance. It’s a subconscious reaction to Cas feeling at home in Dean’s home, commenting on water pressure and presenting such clear common ground, and being there, properly and permanently. There’s a sudden possibility here that has never ever been here before, not in Dean’s mind.

And Dean can’t stop himself from acting on it.

Then we get the glorious moment when we leave Sam’s reaction face and move into him reacting to Cas delivering this beauty –>

Cas: Yeah, I understand what you’re saying.

Sam looking like he sincerely doubts Cas understands the finer points of what Dean is actually doing and his “You do?” might just as well have been “Do you understand that my brother is phallating that burrito for your sake, Cas?” (buuuuut he can’t say that)

The exchange continues with:

Cas: Yes, there’s more to humanity than survival. You look for purpose. And you must not be defeated by anger or despair. Or hedonism, for that matter.
Dean: Where does hedonism come into it?
Cas: Well, my time with April was very educational.
Sam: Yeah, I mean, I would think that getting killed is something.
Cas: And having sex.
Dean: You had sex with April?
Sam: Yeah, that would be where the hedonism comes in.

Okay, now, there is elegance here. It’s a little twisted, but there is elegance here. Because this scene is Dean’s scene. This scene starts with Dean talking about Cas with Sam, moving into Cas joining them in the war room and Dean bringing sex into the conversation for no reason whatsoever other than that he has sex on the brain (and that it serves the scene, which is about sex) to then lead us to this moment of pure and undiluted jealousy –>

Look. At. That. Face.

Gloriously pissed off.

Changing into:

Because here it begins to hit Dean that Cas has had sex. Cas is human and he has had sex. And as it sinks in, while they’re having their “Did you have protection” part of the exchange, there’s more coming Dean’s way. More than he ever could have dreamed of when Cas says:

Cas: Anyway, I see now how difficult life can be and how well you two have lead it. I think you’ll be great teachers.
Dean: Thanks, Cas.

Visual aid:

Dean is so turned on it’s like he can see the two of them writhing naked on a bed while he tells Cas exactly what to do to make the world explode. Like COME ON. LOOK AT SAM’S FACE IN CONTRAST! Sam aware-of-the-subtext Winchester is not too keen on being a “teacher” in this scenario, no sir, better leave that to Dean.

I mean, this scene just makes me laugh. Granted this is totally the reading of my dark and slightly demented brain and I love this type of innuendo, but the structure of the scene is ALL about reaching ^^^^ this moment!! Dean with that half-eaten burrito in his hand that is almost forgotten now that the real thing is fucking smacked down on the table and within reach.

THEN we get the tie-in to end all tie-ins as Cas asks if there are any more burritos. Yeah. Forgive me, but in my dark and slightly demented brain this clearly tells us that Cas will very, very happily listen to all of Dean’s instructions because he is about to join in the eating of the Burrito of Innuendo, which, again and to be perfectly clear, is a visual for Dean liking dick. Cas’ dick in particular, because it’s the focus of this entire exchange.

I just LOVE it, what can I say? I’m not even sorry.

And as Cas goes to grab himself a burrito, Dean gives us Sunshine Face –>

Kinda the opposite to this one –>

Because Frowny Face is all about suppressed desire, while Sunshine Face is all about the sudden, furious hope that the desire could actually be met. 

Now, of course this is a love story, it’s not all about sex, but Dean is nowhere ready in S9 to admit to himself that he’s been in love with Cas for years. That’s way, way too scary. Sexual desire, however, is a brilliant way for his brain to cover up the fact that there’s so much more to it. He knows he fancies Cas, but that’s all. 

But, to my mind, the Sunshine Face is about the fact that there IS SO MUCH MORE THERE. Subconsciously Dean knows very well that he’s truly madly deeply in love with Cas - but his conscious mind beats against it because feelings mean weakness and love means pain and no-no-no none of that - but there’s also the fact that Cas is a fucking angel of the Lord who, if he tries to feel things, ends up breaking apart, and who acts like he’s only there to protect them and doesn’t seem to understand what he means to Dean, at all, because clearly Cas can’t relate to the feelings Dean has because Cas doesn’t FEEL that way and also there’s how he ups and leaves every five minutes. 

But Cas isn’t an angel of the Lord anymore. All of that ^^^ bullcrap that’s tied to Cas’ grace doesn’t have to factor as an obstacle anymore (no matter how much Dean’s interpretation of these things and his making them into a huge obstacle is tied to his inner struggles with himself - but all this for another post!!) 

Dean is still denying the love part - focusing on the sex part. The sex part, the desire that is wholly based in the love he refuses to acknowledge, is suddenly a viable possibility. And in this scene that finally begins to land with Dean. 

All the possibility. (consciously - sex; subconsciously - love)

And yeah, that’s why the next exchange with Gadreel, where the angel delivers the ultimatum that either Cas leaves the bunker, or Gadreel will have to leave, which means he can’t heal Sam, which means Sam will die, makes Dean say:

Dean: …but this is Cas, okay, who vouched for you when I didn’t know you from Jack. 

Look. At. His. Face.

All those possibilities going the way of bye-bye.

And to add injury to injury, there’s –>

Cas: That’s epic food. I can’t get enough.



(Cas innocently holding eye contact like FOR REAL?) *dying*

And then, of course, Cas is Cas. Instead of a blow-job simulation, he’s shown to bite through the burrito because the visual food-as-penis subtext is tied to Dean. I mean, look at Dean reacting to Cas engaging with eating the burrito, when Dean not five minutes earlier was trying to use one to indicate he wants to know what Cas’ dick tastes like. 

And then Cas goes on to do what he almost always does - taking whatever innuendo Dean is throwing at him (or the narrative is throwing at them) and grounding it in a moment of honesty, in feeling.

Dean: Cas. Can we talk?
Cas: Of course. Dean, you know I always appreciate our talks. And our time together.

I mean…


And Dean clears his throat because they just went from writhing together on that bed, to snuggling close and holding each other all night and oh, man, Dean is really very not ready for that, like, nope, not at all, there will be no “feelings” involved here, ever. And yet, this is painful. Telling Cas he can’t stay…

…means calling him “buddy” and Dean bringing himself out of the headspace of All The Possibility and focusing on what needs to be done. For Sam. Of course. And honestly, it’s so gorgeously thought out because if these two - if human!Cas and Dean Winchester - ever got to spend actual, real time together, with talks, and innuendoing all over the place, and all that stuff, then oh man there would be bed-writhing before too long. *mh mh good*

*mh mh good* for THEM, I mean. 

It would be good for them to alleviate some of the sexual frustration. Speaking of which, Cas in this scene has barely been touched upon (pardon the pun), and what I love most about human!Cas is demonstrated here: he is still sassy Cas. I look at his face and the subtle changes in it and I see a challenge here. 

My time with April was very educational” ^^^ looks straight at Dean.

After Dean’s “You had sex with April?” Cas looks like ^^^ he wouldn’t mind punching Dean in the face for sounding so incredulous. It’s even possible he notices Dean’s pissed off expression and wants to say “What?” (like he will in just a few episodes). 

What I’m getting at is that Cas is growing increasingly aware of his own feelings, right? Right. And absolutely growing aware of his attraction to Dean. And Cas is involved in a much subtler subtext of his own all based in him wanting to provoke Dean into some sort of reaction. Which he does. And so I read this whole exchange as a mutual unspoken recognition of attraction. Both of them feeling the new possibilities. Both of them devastated when the possibilities end in sudden and immediate separation. 

I’m not saying they’d be doing to bedtime conga within a day or two, because I don’t think they would ever do that - there’s so much at stake that approaching one another would be a slow and drawn out affair of tentative trial and errors (mixtape-esque ones) - but the thought of actually living together, working together, all the possibilities surrounding that would have come with all of the here established desire attached to it. And that’s why it’s established in this scene.

Human!Cas means Cas with human emotions, human desires, human reactions and human musings. He’s already beginning to relate to the world around him differently because he has to, he’s living in it now, he’s not just observing it. I LOVE human!Cas. In case I’ve not made that clear.

Also, to be clear, the mentioned recognition of desire and possibility is not at all understood to be mutual by either of them. Oh, God, no. Never. They do not understand that the other wants them as much as they will ever want the other. HAH! No way. Miscommunication and lack of openness based in fear of rejection based in fear of not being enough based in… ok, stopping now, but THIS will forever be the biggest hurdle for these two. They’ve no IDEA what either is insinuating, too caught up in their own insinuation. 

This said, with all the character progression we’re already getting in S13 for Dean, and with all the character progression I hope and hope and can see is on the horizon for Cas, oh there’s hope now for hurdles being overcome. 

Especially after 13x02, there is a lot of fucking hope now. That’s my next post. Better get to work! :P 

anonymous asked:

is it bad that i want to see pt have some sort of panic attack, like ptsd episode, hell what would even cause that...

He did!!! He still does, (very rarely-) but it used to be pretty bad!!!

He had a LOT of help from @blesstale‘s Zunde during those times.

PT’s always had a weight of the unknown on his mind// When he became suddenly trapped in the void, the ship and a huge plot of water had come with him- but not his brother or the whole crew. After years of being unable to find out their fate, he had a serious drop in his mental state and began to handle it by doing work around his ship- But when his busy outlet became physically unhealthy for him, he had to be helped put it into moderation.

Moderation wasn’t enough though- it was all or nothing, and without his outlet, he broke! He was frail and scared, quiet and disconnected. Zunde made for a great recovery, since he himself was naturally disassociated from people, and being in each other’s presence had no pressure on either them.

Once Zunde began to reestablish interaction, PT slowly came back and recovered a majority of his state of mind. Now, PT’s not nearly as eccentric as he once was, and evolved into a being at peace with his life in the void.

“Tombstone” (1993): cowboys and gay subtext

Disclaimer: I wrote this text long time ago, when we first heard the title of the episode, and we knew perfectly nothing about the plot - I just somehow never got to posting it. Back then I never DREAMED that we will be getting Cas and Dean roleplaying Texas rangers, and running around in cowboy hats. (What a time to be alive!) Anyway, I hope this little rant about how “Tombstone” (1993) is relevant to tomorrow’s episode will still be fun to read.

Disclaimer 2: I do not equal effeminate/weak bodied/flamboyant = gay, just different from the surroundings in the context of this movie. At the same time, the movie uses cheap stereotypes to characterize their characters in subtext.  It is 1990s, and this is not good, but it happened back then.

File it under the “Things I do because of my “Supernatural” obsession”: I watch and read stuff I hadn’t expected to before I started watching the show - you know, like a 1993 western telling the story of the legendary gunman Wyatt Earp and his two brothers, hunting and killing some Old West gang of outlaws in a frontier town.

Nevertheless, I did watch it, and now I will write about it because I am painfully aware that episode 13x06 is called “Tombstone”, that it has a western theme, and that it’s an episode by the writer who gave us “Stuck in the Middle with You” (12x12). It is therefore quite possible that the source material is relevant to the final product - plus with Tarantino being a western buff, it all connects nicely.

I will not speculate about the actual episode since we have almost nothing to go on at the moment - besides a few pictures from which we can gather a couple of facts:

  • The boys are most probably in Dodge City at some point (we saw pictures from the set saying “Dodge City” on one of the buildings). The city is about 3,5 hour drive from Lebanon - where the bunker is - and it was here Wyatt Earp was the sheriff before he moved to Tombstone. It also is “the cowboy capital of the US” because of it being the main city on the old “cattle trail”, famous for its cow markets and for its gunfights. We saw Dodge City on the show once before when Krissy’s dad was attacked in “Adventures in Babysitting”, but otherwise this is the first time we visit it,
  • We also know that at some point we will visit a cowboy-themed motel.

[While all of this gives us no story hints whatsoever, I think it’s safe to assume that the keywords for the episode are “cowboys” and “western”. Since Davy Perez’ most noteworthy episode last year was Tarantino themed, I am not remotely surprised this season for him is “westerns” (he is also bringing us the train heist episode later this season - yes, please.)]

I can, however, present the movie “Tombstone” that may or may not have something to do with the final episode (we’ll see). As I am aware that not everyone is as dedicated (read: bored and obsessed) as me to check out every pop culture reference on the show, I decided to share my newly aquired wisdom with the class.

Ok, so the story. The movie tells a (rather idealized) version of the shootout that occured in the frontier town of Tombstone, Arizona, between Wyatt, Virgil and Morgan Earp (plus their friend, Doc Holliday) and the gang of outlaws who called themselves “the Cowboys” - known as the gunfight at OK Corral. I will talk just about the movie here (since the historical truth is a little different, and a compare-and-contrast historical analysis is not what we need right now).

So, Wyatt Earp got famous being the marshall of Dodge City, while also being a pacifist and trying to avoid starting conflicts as much as possible. Tombstone was supposed to be his retirement - he wanted to settle down, finally having his family around, and earn some money for a comfortable and silent life. He came to Tombstone together with his two brothers and their wives; upon arrival, he found out that his best friend, Doc Holliday, also ended up in the town, searching for his luck and trying to cure his TB - an illness that will later kill him at the age of 35. 

We meet Wyatt Earp when he has people closest to his heart right around him, and is very content with his life. He is also very adamant to leave the past and the fame behind, and start a completely new chapter in Arizona. The Earp brothers find out very quickly, however, that Tombstone is very far from the sleepy abode the name might suggest. The town is full of colourful characters - gamblers, gunslingers, preachers, prostitutes, outlaws etc. And of course there is a conflict boiling just below the surface.

Unwillingly, one by one the Earp party is pulled back into being the law officers again, and into the bloody frontier war.

SPOILERS AHEAD (you know, if you wanna watch the movie yourself)

So many themes here that remind me of SPN!

  • We have a duty bound man who meets a maverick and outgoing woman. She offers him excitement and adventures, and of course he falls for her, but doesn’t let himself have what he wants because of his mission, his situation (he was married at the time), and the need to act honourably. He is, however, perfectly aware of his feelings and that a part of this behaviour is fear of following his heart because he had never done this before in his life;
  • It takes a death of his closest friend to realize life is too short, and he should go for what he wants, which he does;
  • Before this, however, he follows the murder of one of his brothers by going on a shooting spree, and killing every bad guy he can find until they all are eradicated,
  • There is also so much gay subtext between two of the characters that the movie is always mentioned when “gay westerns before Brokeback Mountain” are discussed.

“Tombstone” as a lesson in gay subtext:

It is never mentioned in the movie that Billy Zane and Jason Priestley’s characters are gay. Yet, it is so obvious from the way they are portrayed that even people who are not used to reading subtext are perfectly aware the two characters are most probably lovers.

The characterization

The first thing we notice is the look of the characters. The two man are both dressed in a way that differenciates them from the enviroment around them - Billy Zane’s Fabian is completely different from the masculine world of the Old West, with his soft hair, boyish good looks, clean shaven face, and elaborate outfits.

Jason Priestley’s Billy is more in accordance with the tough world of Tombstone - he is the deputy sheriff after all, and can be tough when needed - but still, in his time off he is portrayed as soft, effeminate, especially while contrasted with the criminals he usually runs with. His outfit is not too different from everyone else’s, but he is the only person to wear a bowtie (everyone else wears neckties or bandanas) and spectacles. He is portrayed as a slightly weaker and more vulnerable person.

Exposition in relation to other characters

The two characters sexuality is shown, not talked about, especially through the kind of interractions they have with other people.

We meet Fabian when he steps out of a carriage, all confident, flamboyant, well-groomed and witty. His person awakens the reaction in the manly-men of the West, which is shown by Morgan Earp asking the local sheriff “What kind of town is this?” (at which point Wyatt shushes him, as if he said something offensive). 

To hammer the point home, Fabian is an actor who travels with a gorgeous woman, but obviously has no sexual interest in her - they are best buddies who ogle the Earps together, and comment on their attractiveness.

As for Billy, we meet him when he arrives at the theatre to see the actors’ performance, and right away he is shown bullied by the Cowboys. The quips obviously refer to his sexuality (“Hey, sister boy, gimme some!”). He doesn’t try to shoot them down, just tries to avoid being touched. Quickly he is “saved” by the leader of the gang, and seated beside him. Shortly afterwards the camera shows us the difference between the Cowboys and the deputy sheriff’s approach to Fabian onstage (mocking vs in awe).

Later, during a blink-and-you-miss-it moment, Billy grabs Fabian in the saloon, and cordially invites him to his table. This is the last time we see the two men together, alive.

Fast forward to the end of the movie: Billy is riding around with the Cowboys while Wyatt Earp runs around, shooting everything he can find. The outlaws stop a carriage and find the actress and Fabian in the back: the actor is dead, shot by the Cowboys. Everything here happens completely beside the dialogue and the rest of the scene. Billy watches dead Fabian while the actress holds her dead friend, and angrily discusses the war with the leader of the gang.

(Just for your viewing pleasure, I created THIS GIFSET of the scene)

It is never said out loud that Bily and Fabian are lovers. It is still pretty damn obvious. It is perfectly clear from the way they are presented, their interactions with other characters, and the (very limited) onscreen interactions with each other.

“Tombstone” is a cowboy movie that takes a step towards the actual reality of the Wild West, and makes it almost textual. Homosexuality was a natural part of the cowboy lifestyle - it was after all a society full of men, where the men to women ratio was around 8:1. Everyone had needs, not everyone had money, and love and sexual encounters between men were as common as in any other, similar enviroment. There is a reason why the uber-masculine cowboy stereotype is one of the main figures in American gay iconology - think everything from “Midnight Cowboy” to The Village People and “Brokeback Mountain”.

Why Davy Perez chose to call his episode after the kettle-market town in Arizona, but also after the movie with such a strong gay subtext?


Good News: Sugaring is Dead

I enjoy clickbait titles. I forgive myself for creating them because I tell you that they’re clickbait within the first three sentences. Best friend, this title was clickbait. Sex work, including sugaring, is the oldest profession in the world. It is healthy and will be healthy until the end of time. Sugaring isn’t dead but the way a lot of us want to sugar is. 

What We Want Sugaring to Be and Why

This is easy. We want life in the sugar bowl to be what alumni sugar babies said the bowl was in the early 2000′s. SA was a goldmine. There were men just waiting to give girls allowances. Whale daddies were so common they were boring. We want to live the life of the white, Asian, and Latina sugar babies that we follow here. Of the black girls that got into the bowl at the right time with the right mix of features. We want to make a sugar profile on SA and have a sugar daddy within a week.

There’s no shame in wanting this. Hell, that’s exactly what I wanted when I first joined the bowl. In fact, that’s exactly what I thought I was going to get despite reading the warnings that the sugar bowl was not what it used to be. I would like you to examine why you want things to be this way. For me, it was a horror of rejection, confidence, and laziness. In short, I believed men should hand me their money because I thought I was cute enough and because I needed it. Life did not work this way for me in any other area but I assumed that was how it would work as a sugar baby. Are you like me? Does sugaring seem appealing to you because it seems like easy, fast money and you could really use some right now? Did you come here for a good time and no desire to do hard work? Do you want the luxury without the effort? Do you want the results without the stress? 

What Sugaring Became and Why

Online sugar dating is common now. Even vanilla girls who have never considered the bowl whisper about SA and how they would join if x,y, or z weren’t happening. It’s inundated and getting more crowded by the day. What happens when something becomes public knowledge instead of a closely guarded secret? Typically? The quality of that thing goes down because those that profit from it are more interested in increasing profit margins than maintaining quality. Any man can make an SA profile. Despite SA’s “good intentions” they are more interested in profiting from their site than guaranteeing that each sugar baby that joins the site has a positive, safe experience. Instead, they will argue that a man making less than $100,000 a year with a few hundred dollars a month and a history of sexual assault should be allowed to have a sugar baby just like any other (actually wealthy) man. 

Black women are perhaps the first to notice when things take a turn for the worse in society, life, dating, and love as they are considered one of the least desired and least protected racial and cultural groups. While SA may still work for those of other races, success for us is far and few between. I root and scream and cheer for every black woman that finds her SD on SA now. It is easy to commit to doing this because I know I will not have to root, scream, or cheer very often. 

What Does This Mean for Brown Sugar Babies?

It means that we’re going to have to get off the internet. I’ve been screaming this from the rooftops for quite a while now but, sis, I’m going to say it again. GO FREESTYLE. Ask yourself why you want to stay in an environment that does not yield you positive results. Ask yourself how long you’re going to allow unattractive old men who don’t have that much money disrespect you and/or lowball you. Ask yourself what about freestyling is so awful that you have not done it yet. Ask yourself if the reason you won’t freestyle is that you’re scared and all of the other points you make about why you can’t are just excuses. 

Your sugar daddy is out there. I promise you he is. If I can fuck this up six different ways from Sunday and still get men to pay my bills and buy me shit I’m for damn sure that you can too sis. I’m not any smarter, prettier, or better equipped than you. The only potential difference between us? I’m willing to work. I’m willing to hear no, not yet, or maybe. I’m willing to fight for what I want. But you’re my best friend. You’re my sister and you wouldn’t be my best friend or my sister if you didn’t have the same drive I do. 

You’re going to have to let go of the fear. You’re going to have to dress up. You’re going to have to go to a new place. You’re going to have to talk to complete strangers. You’re going to spend a lot of time working and learning and analyzing your own behavior and mistakes. You’re going to spend a lot of time doing this. After all of the time you spend, you will still find yourself fucking it up from time to time. That’s okay.

What Should Brown Sugar Babies Do Next?

Am I telling you to delete your SA profile? Deactivate your Tinder? Best friend, sis, I would never tell you what to do with your life. All of this seems like advice written for you but, girl, honestly? This is just my place to have stern talks with myself about what I will and will not do when I pull my head out of my ass and get back into the bowl. You can do what you want and as long as it doesn’t jeopardize your safety, I won’t mind or judge. 

Don’t delete your profile. I met my last SD on SA. If I deleted my profile, he and I would not have met because he doesn’t live in my city and didn’t have a Tinder or dating app. Don’t leave money on the table. Keep those profiles if you want to. But please understand that they aren’t going to be where the big money is. The big money is out in the wild sitting at bars, wine tastings, dinners, and other social events. The big money doesn’t see the need to make a profile on SA. Why should they when they constantly find themselves in places where beautiful women congregate?

Change the way you think about who you are. This helped me so much. I told myself that I wasn’t a sugar baby. I associated that with Tumblr and SA. I associated that with luxury pictures and Louboutins. I associated that with pretty things I didn’t really need or want. I decided instead to consider myself as a courtesan, a finesser. It was my job to provide some type of emotional service for a man. The man and I both understand that because I am providing this service it is his responsibility to provide for me. Good things happened when I opened my mouth and told men my dreams and how they could best help me further them. 

You are whatever persona you need to adopt in order to get what you need. You are already smart, beautiful, an excellent conversationalist, and worthy of coin. You just have to change your thinking about who you are, where you will best get the results you want, and what kind of effort you’ll have to put forward. You can do this. We both know you can. I’m just waiting for you to do it.

Okay, sis. We’ve reached that time. Do you think I made some valid points or did I really jump out the window with this one? Is SA still the best place for brown sugar babies? Is freestyling dead or some awful terrible thing that you’ll never do? Let me know in the comments or message me. And special thanks to all of the women that have responded to my requests for friendship. It’s so beautiful talking to each of you. To the women that have messaged me because I am the sugar sister they wanted, thank you. To the sb’s that have tagged the women they want to be sisters with, thank you. I love you. 

i lack self-control and there’s other shit i should be doing so it’s time for the first installment of

Let’s Read: Kraven the Hunter

Kraven the Hunter’s first appearance is The Amazing Spider-Man #15 from August 1964, written by Stan The Man himself, which is how you know it’s gonna be batshit. Every comic writer has strengths and weaknesses, and in many cases you kind of have to overlook those weaknesses to really enjoy the strengths.

Stan’s strength is also his weakness, which is that none of his plots ever make any goddamn sense and all his characters come off as weird assholes, and whenever you finish a comic you are left with a vague sense that literally everything that happened in that issue could have been avoided if they’d just stopped being weird assholes for five seconds.

Some writers attempt to remedy this later. Those writers are wrong.

Stan Lee still writes the newspaper comic strip version of Spider-Man, as far as I know, and for years I thought those strips were just nutso because Stan Lee was old and out of fucks to give. Then I read some old-ass comics and realized that Stan Lee is just Like That, and always has been.

He also writes credits like these.

If there is a space where a man can reasonably fit more words, Stan Lee will find more words to put there.

Early Spider-Man comics feature a lot of weird old-timey bank-robbing gangsters? Like, straight-up Dillinger Gang motherfuckers. So anyway the issue starts with some old-timey gangsters, bla bla bla, the Chameleon bla, curse you Spider-Man, etc. We don’t care about that part. What we care about is that the Chameleon (who is also, to be clear, kind of an old-timey gangster) decides he’s gonna call in Kraven the Hunter to solve his Spider-Man problem.

Here are the first things we learn about Kraven, in order:

  • He’s been in Africa, where he defeats terrorbeasts single-handed and with his bare hands.
  • He’s a fucking hunk.

“You know what the ladies love? Rectangles. I’m gonna build a man entirely out of rectangles. For the ladies.” - Ditko, presumably.

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