Broken (Nolan Holloway)
for dramatic effect I was listening to this song when I wrote this so it adds to the story….. and it's a good song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghPcYqn0p4Y
“really Nolan? You’re still going on about this?” I said rolling my eyes at him.
“I’m telling you y/n it wasn’t an animal okay I know what I saw.” Nolan said putting his head in his hands.
“look Nolan whatever it was it’s gone now and it isn’t going to come back, so let’s just relax and ace this biology test tomorrow!” I said throwing his book to him.
Ever since the charity lacrosse game Nolan hasn’t been the same. He saw the beast in the library, everyone did, but we told everyone it was some kind of animal. Everyone else was convinced but we had a tough time convincing Nolan. I wasn’t exactly the poster child for humanity either. I was called a kitsune or a fox. Unfortunately my sister Kira couldn’t control her inner fox so she was sent to live with the skin walkers until she could. I think that was when I started to seek comfort in something besides the pack. That’s when I found Nolan.
“I can’t just get over this, how can you?” He asked studying me.
Nolan struggled with his mental health, he was as broken as I was and I guess I took comfort in that. We became fast friends and used each other for a shoulder to cry on.
“I just have trust in the police department that the problem has been solved.” I said shrugging my shoulders.
He sighed before opening his textbook and highlighting important sections. I glanced up at him before doing the same. My phone started ringing scaring me and Nolan. I quickly picked up seeing Scott’s name flash on the caller ID.
“hello?” I answered.
“we have a problem, meet me at my house in 20 minutes.” Scott said before hanging up.
I sighed. Just when things were finally looking up.
“who was that?” Nolan asked looking up.
“uh my mom she needs me home.” I lied effortlessly.
That was one thing I hated. Lying to Nolan was easy too easy and it killed me. I wanted to tell him everything but I couldn’t. There was no guarantee he would take lightly to the information and besides we were under fire after everything that happened with the wild hunt so remaining under the radar was the best option.
“but you just got here.” Nolan said looking down visibly upset.
“I know I’m sorry but my mom she really needs me.” I said shrugging my shoulders.
The truth was I would rather stay here with Nolan all night. I guess you could say in the time that we spent together my feelings for the broken boy blossomed.
“If you don’t want to hang out with me all you have to do is just say so.” Nolan said looking down at his feet.
I got off of his floor going to sit in front of him.
“Nolan look at me.” I said putting my hand on his cheek.
Nolan slowly lifted his eyes off the ground looking at me.
“Nolan that is just your anxiety talking okay? Nolan you’re my best friend, there is no one I’d rather spend time with than you.” I said smiling at him.
Nolan gave me a smile before nodding his head. I kissed his cheek before hurrying out the door. I got to Scott’s house 10 minutes late earning annoyed glances from the rest of the pack.
“we need to talk.” Scott said giving me a serious look.
It was never good when Scott said we needed to talk.
“Nolan?” I said in disbelief.
“I’m sorry but he’s working with them.” Scott said sullen.
“No, he wouldn’t do that!” I said a tear rolling down my cheek.
“He stabbed Corey right in the hand and showed everyone in the library!” Mason grumbled.
“Also Brett and Lori Talbot are dead.” Scott said looking over at Liam with a sad glance.
I couldn’t believe it. I had saved Lori and Brett when the deadpool was going on. I couldn’t save them now. It wasn’t fair. I didn’t want to believe the boy I loved could be doing this. I could feel the fox fighting to get out as my anger rose.
“I know it isn’t what you wanted to hear, but I wouldn’t lie to you.” Scott said grabbing my hand.
I shook my head knowing he was right. What was I supposed to do now?
“now we need to watch our backs, watch each others backs, don’t trust anyone except for each other.” Scott said looking at all of us.
We all went home to think about what Scott told us. Nolan tried to text me but I couldn’t bring myself to read any of his messages. I couldn’t believe he was actually working with them. The next morning I didn’t feel like going to school but I knew I needed to be there for Liam and Corey considering we were the only three in the pack still in school. I walked in to school earning glances from all the students. The looked at me and whispered. I focused my kitsune hearing to hear what they were saying.
“She’s one of them.”
“don’t get too close, she’s dangerous.”
“she hangs out with that Liam kid she has to be one of them.”
“yeah didn’t you see her in the library? She was glowing orange.”
I felt a tear fall from my eye as I walked the halls to find Liam and Corey.
“people are talking about us” I said walking over to the boys.
Ignoring the stares of the students was hard.
“yeah I hear them too. They know something is up. We shouldn’t have come today.” Liam said tugging at his hair.
“listen you guys will be fine, all you have to do is act normal.” Mason said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“I don’t know if that’s going to work. There were two sophomore lacrosse players in the street the other night, they had a clear view of you Liam.” Corey said.
“yeah that’s it we need to leave.” Liam said grabbing my hand.
“if you leave now, they win. You need to stay and show them your just like all of us.” Mason said blocking our way.
“we can’t pretend to be normal okay we aren’t normal.” Liam says frustrated.
“look all you need to do is be like Clark Kent, nobody knows he’s actually superman.” Mason said making Corey nod.
“Clark Kent doesn’t have fangs and glowing eyes and he certainly doesn’t have a bright glowing aura around him.” I said rolling my eyes.
“She’s got a good point.” Liam said agreeing with me.
“look you guys can do this I know you can.” Mason said sighing.
I sighed knowing he was right. Liam sighed too. I mean we’ve been pretending to be normal all this time what could one more day hurt. I walked to English class which I had with Nolan and Gabe, who I found out was also working with the hunters. I felt all the eyes of the students on me as I sat down. Nolan stood up and took the seat beside me. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.
“where were you last night?” Nolan asked looking at me.
“I told you my mom…” I started but was cut off.
“I went to your house and your mom wasn’t even home, funny you weren’t there either.” Nolan said glaring at me.
“You know people are talking right, they’re saying stuff about you. Stuff that would explain a lot like where you go when you disappear.” Nolan continued getting in my face.
This wasn’t like him at all. He was never confrontational especially not with me.
“what gonna stab me with a pen too?” I snapped at him.
Nolan was taken back at my outburst and honestly I was too.
“I..” He started but I cut him off this time.
“I don’t know what kind of nonsense they’re filling your head with but I’m not the enemy neither is Liam or Scott or anyone. Nolan you know me, you know me better than anyone, you don’t actually believe all that stuff do you?” I said hurt evident in my voice.
Nolan didn’t say anything. He got up and walked back to where Gabe was sitting. Our teacher came in starting the class but I was finding it hard to focus. My emotions got the best of me and soon I had tears falling down my cheeks.
“miss Yukimura do you need a minute?” Our teacher asked looking at me.
I shook my head before running out of the classroom. I went to the bathroom breaking down. This was wrong. This was all wrong. Everyone in Beacon Hills would be dead if it weren’t for us, Nolan would be dead. I remember when the ghost riders took him, I tried to save him but I was too late. If it weren’t for, dare I say it, Theo I would have been taken too. I got up splashing some cold water on my face. I could do this.
“Do you know it helps to talk about what you’re feeling.”
I turned around to see Miss Monroe, who had hunted down Brett Talbot, standing there with a smirk on her face.
“No thanks, I don’t want to talk to someone like you.” I growled turning around.
“I’m not the one you need to be thinking of it’s the ones we never expect to cause the most damage.” She said before walking out the door.
I knew she was talking about Nolan. I exit the bathroom being greeted by Liam, Corey and Mason.
“We have a problem.” Corey says.
“we have a lot of problems what now?” I asked rolling my eyes.
“Gabe and Nolan, they want to get you guys to shift in front of everyone so they can expose what you are.” Mason said looking at me and then Liam.
“I don’t exactly work like that.” I said.
“you don’t think they’ve been doing their homework too? I could find a lot about kitsunes and they can too.” Mason said.
“so what are we going to do?” Liam said coming to stand by me.
“well the entire lacrosse team is blocking all the exits.” Corey said.
“it’s not like you guys can just turn invisible and get out of here.” Mason says scratching his head.
“or can we?” I said looking at Corey.
Liam and I grab on to Corey and he turns us invisible along with himself. Mason attempts to lead us out of school but every exit is blocked by lacrosse players. Mason makes another turn running straight in to Gabe and Nolan.
“where are they?” Gabe asks Mason.
“Who?” Mason said playing dumb.
Gabe was clearly not impressed.
“you know who.” He said clenching his jaw.
“oh Liam and Y/n yeah I haven’t seen them since the last time I saw them.” He rambled scratching his head.
Gabe and Nolan looked at each other confused.
“okay when was that?” Gabe asked clearly annoyed now.
“the last time I saw them was definitely the time I saw them last.” Mason said unsure of what he was even saying now.
Nolan looked at Gabe again before taking dust out of his pocket and blowing it our way. Liam, Corey, and I were now visible to everyone. Gabe grabbed Liam while another lacrosse player grabbed me. We were taken in to the empty science classroom and thrown to the floor. Liam got up but Gabe punched him in the face.
“stop what are you doing.” I growled walking over to Gabe.
He smirked at me before punching me in the face as well. I grab my nose trying to keep the blood from staining my shirt. I look at Nolan betrayal in my eyes.
“come on Liam all you have to do is shift.” Gabe says kicking Liam in the stomach.
A crowd of students has gathered just watching the action going on. I stood back up but Gabe turned to me punching me again.
“you know you can take us, all you have to do is shift.” Gabe said beating Liam up more.
At this point Liam was bloodied and barely standing. Gabe turned to me with a sadistic smirk.
“And you.” He said grabbing me by the hair and dragging me to the electric outlet.
I tried to fight back knowing what would happen if I touched that.
“I wonder what would happen If you got a little too close to this outlet.” Gabe whispered in my ear.
“why don’t you find out.” I snapped glaring at him.
Gabe slammed my face off the table making my vision go blurry. I could barely stand from the pain of each blow he delivered. I couldn’t heal like a werewolf, it took time and energy, two things I didn’t have right now.
“Gabe that’s enough.” Nolan said his voice cracking.
“Did you forget the whole purpose of this Nolan?” Gabe growled turning towards him.
He walked back over to Liam who had his eyes shut tight. I was relieved when I saw Mrs. Finch walk in to the room. However she just stands there watching the scene.
“do something!” Mason says struggling.
“Sometimes its best if we let them work out their problems on their own.” She says before leaving.
Gabe punched Liam again. Liam still had his eyes closed trying to control his inner wolf from escaping.
“open your eyes Liam.” Gabe growled wrapping his hands around his throat.
“the sun. the moon. the truth.” Liam said taking deep breaths.
“what are you talking about?” Gabe growled.
“the sun. the moon. the truth.” I repeated from my spot on the floor.
“Liam open your eyes.” Gabe growled.
Liam opened his eyes and they were his blue color thankfully. I mustered up all the strength I could manage and took off my belt which was actually my katana. I clicked it in to place and before Gabe could make another move I was holding it at his throat.
“See I told you all, look at her.” Gabe said not moving.
I managed to connect my eyes with Nolan who looked horrified. I wore my belt around him all the time and now he found out what it actually was.
“It’s a Japanese sword you’ve proved nothing.” I growled.
Gabe went to take another step forward but was cut off by a voice.
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?” Bobby Finstock asked coming in the classroom.
He grabbed Nolan and Gabe by the back of their necks and pushed them towards the door.
“YOU TWO TO THE PRINCIPLES OFFICE NOW!” He yelled.
The other students just stood there staring at us.
“GET OUT ALL OF YOU! I CAN’T STAND TO LOOK AT ANY OF YOUR FACES.” He yells shooing all the students out.
I fold my sword back in to my belt before dropping down beside Liam.
“you did it.” I said stroking a hand through his hair.
“Clark Kent right?” Liam said spitting out some blood.
“Yeah Clark Kent.” I said smiling.
Mason drove us home making sure we got in alright. I went to the bathroom examining the bruises and cuts on my face. I touched the bruise flinching as soon as my hand made contact with it. I could feel the tears rush down my cheeks. I felt defeated, I felt like a monster. I grabbed a washcloth and started cleaning the blood off my face. I didn’t even recognize the girl in the mirror anymore.
“this is all wrong." I whispered my voice shaking due to the tears.
I walked to my room slowly letting the tears fall freely. It was hard to be strong when everyone was against you. I picked up the picture of me and Kira from my nightstand. God I missed her. Nolan filled the void that Kira left and now he was gone too. I should have went with her to live with the skin walkers. I passed the test, Kira didn’t but I still should have stayed. Maybe that’s where I belonged. I took out a piece of paper addressing it to Nolan
This isn’t easy to say, so I’m just going to come out and say it. You were right. I’m not normal. I lied to you. I’ve been lying to you. I wanted to protect you. I never wanted you to get involved with my crazy world so I thought not telling you was the best option. The truth is I didn’t have a choice in what I am. I’m called a Kitsune. It’s the Japanese word for fox spirit which is exactly what I am. Sometimes the fox spirit inside takes over the human it possesses and turns malevolent which is what happened to my sister Kira. She had to go live with these creatures called the skin walkers. Nolan I wish I would have told you all this sooner but I didn't know what your reaction would be. I thought I was protecting you but I was only hurting you by lying. You filled the void that my sister left. You were there to dry my tears and offer me guidance and you’ll never know how much that truly meant to me. There is one other thing I want to tell you, it’s something I’ve known ever since you were taken by the ghost riders (which you wouldn’t remember happened either.) Nolan I love you. I’m in love with you. All of you, all of your fears, your anxiety, everything. I ruined everything by not telling you, and I hurt someone I would never want too. So this is why I am writing you this letter Nolan. I’m going to go to a place where I can’t hurt you anymore. I should’ve stayed with Kira when she was taken by the skin walkers then I would’ve never hurt you in the first place. Goodbye Nolan, I’m sorry I let you down but you won’t have to worry about me anymore by the time you read this letter I’ll be gone from your life so I can’t hurt you anymore.
Tears stained the page as I finished writing the last words. I paced around my room not really sure if I was making the right choice. The pack needed me here, but I didn’t know if I could stay. I grab the note and walk out of my room running down the steps. I take a look at my house thinking about all the memories made here, all of the memories with Nolan, with Kira, with the pack. I was going to miss them all but I knew I was making the safest decision for me right now. I opened the door, Nolan standing on the other side, just about to knock.
"Nolan.” I gasped.