what do you drink

Weird things I’ve had to say to my husband today:
  • “EXPLAIN THE BEANSPROUTS, TOBIAS.”
  • “Okay, I get that you have a cold, but there’s no reason to just yell ‘EEEEE’ after you cough to hint that you want a drink of coffee.”
  • “What do you mean you want ‘the way of the sub’ or ‘the king of the burger’? Y’know, you can just say that you want to go to Subway or Burger King.”
  • “I am not a baby, you do not have to feed me my stir fry by saying ‘here comes the choo choo train!’, I’m a grown ass woman, Tobi! I’M 21 FFS.”
  • “The hell do you mean, you’re going to kick your own ass in Fire Emblem- OOOOH TURN UP THAT MUSIC THAT’S COOL PLEASE CAN I HAVE YOUR COPY OF THAT FIRE EMBLEM GAME-”
  • Him: “Hey Marianne, want to have a go at this-” Me: *loudly humming the music of the battle he was in* Him: “-battle…? Mari?” Me: *humming even louder down his ear*
  • “Why the fuck do people thing onesies are cool. NO YOU ARE NOT COSPLAYING AS CHROM BEFORE YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE, WE CAN’T AFFORD THAT-”
  • “Okay Tobi. If you were a siren, what song would you sing to lure me in? And no, you are not allowed to use any of the following: The crazy frog song, the derp song, ‘too hot hot damn’, or the song that never ends.”

anonymous asked:

If there was a mclennon cafe, and they had mclennon references as there drinks/desserts what do you think they would be? (◕ᴗ◕✿)

Oh I imagine walking into this 50s style bar, with diner bar stools,…waitress dressed as marylin and waiters as buddy holly. I would sit in a retro american diner table and the menu would be something like:

Desserts:

Nerk Twins: Apple pie

Elvis: rich fruit cake

July 6th: custard tar

Menlove Avenue:Liverpool tart

And the drinks would look like:

Chulk & Cheese: Apple juice and cranberry Juice

St Wood: Orange juice mixed with bitter lemon

banana milkshake: made with 2 dippers of ice cream

Paris:  Champagne, gin and brandy

And you can also order:

Eddie Cochran  mushroom & Swiss burger

Legendary Mclennon burger

Buddy Holly steak with Little Richard salad

I want to hold your thing - fish filet sandwich

Two of us French fried potatoes 

ACCENT CHALLENGE for the latinx gc 💙

You can record yourself and post it here or send the audio to gc! Have fun babies 💙

🐝Your name and username.

🐝Where you’re from.

🐝Pronounce the following words: Aunt, Roof, Route, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Pajamas, Caught, Naturally, Aluminium, GIF, Tumblr, Crackerjack, Doorknob, Envelope, GPOY.

🐝What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?

🐝What is a bubbly carbonated drink called?

🐝What do you call gym shoes?

🐝What do you call your grandparents?

🐝What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?

🐝What is the thing you change the TV channel with?

🐝Choose a book and read a passage from it.

🐝Do you think you have an accent?

🐝Be a wizard or a vampire?

🐝Do you know anyone on Tumblr in real life?

🐝End audio post by saying any THREE words you want.

@adidasmodel @angelharry @alwaysbacktolou @badmanniall @cakelikelwt @darklarrie @goldenlouie @hlalbums @justlarryokk@larriekisses @louiswillian @magicalmysterylou @mylarrietears @onmykneesforlarry @somos-larry @seethleflames @studyrainbowi @tomlinsun @tomlinshires @thepenguintattoo Si me faltó alguien lx etiquetan xx.

SKAM Season 4 Links with English Subtitles

Episode 1: You hate hanging out with us (full)

Episode 2: I’m a boy, I don’t get hate (full)

Episode 3: What do you think about drinking? (full)

Episode 4: Allah would dig you (full)

Episode 5: If you’re sad then I’m sad (full)

Episode 6: Are you having a bad day? (full)

Episode 7: We must stand together (full)

Episode 8: The biggest losers at school (full)

Episode 9: Life smiles (full) 

Episode 10: Thanks for everything
↳ (Part 1-Vilde // Part 2-Penetrator Chris // Part 3-Jonas // Part 4-Chris // Part 5-Even // Part 6-William // Part 7-Eskild & Linn // Part 8-Dear Sana [1][2])

8

♪♪ in the club with JohnJae😎

marinette is the kind of person who could accidentally drink a whole glass of dirty paint water and not notice

10

This in 12x16 felt like another solid character moment, to me; not just the fact that Dean left, but that Sam stayed. I think it’s the same difference in attitude that prompts Dean to squash down and deny the things that worry him (or, the flipside of the same coin, to accept them with fatalistic helplessness) whereas Sam will stare steely-eyed and insistent into the face of his problems. (Of course, that can certainly be problematic too.)

SKAM S04E04 Clip 4 - The Best Of Islam

NOORA: What is this again? We’re here for my sake?
SANA: Yes, of course we’re here for your sake.
NOORA: Just to look at muslim boys and stuff.
SANA: Aren’t you tired of white boys now? I thought we had to get out, meet new types of people, see that there’s plenty of fish in the sea. You know what I mean?
NOORA: But you said muslim boys just use Norwegian girls.
SANA: It’s good that you’re converting to Islam, then.
NOORA: Don’t turn around now, okay? But are those boys looking at us?
SANA: How shouldl I see if they’re looking at us if I can’t turn around?
NOORA: Oh my God, they’re coming over!
SANA: Stay cool.
NOORA: Stay cool? I’m really fuckign cool! Hi there!
SANA: Hi!
NOORA: Hi.
BOY1: Can we sit here?
SANA AND NOORA: Yes, of course.
JONAS: It’s okay? Great!
SANA: Sit down!
NOORA: Hi! Yes, hi.
ALI: Ali.
NOORA: Noora.
ALI: Nice to meet you.
NOORA: Noora, it’s a pleasure.
SANA: Sana, it’s a pleasure.
ALI: Ali, it’s a pleasure.
JONAS: Jonas. It was sana?
SANA: Yes.

Keep reading

That Night

I had just come out the shower and was now chilling in my boxers. There I was laying in my bed watching the Justice League DVD on a Saturday night while my room mate was out having fun at the club on this rainy night. In my opinion, this was a better way to spend my night instead of going out in the rain to get sick. I am Derek, a slender light skinned black male with brown eyes. I’m not much of a party enthusiast as most in my age category of 18 are but I am human and my dick was starting to make me aware of that fact as it ascended from slumber. If you haven’t guessed already, I’m a virgin. I lowered the TV volume and just as I was about to give it some attention, there was a text notification sound on my phone .

Me (Derek Towers)

My friend AJ hit me up on whatsapp. Now AJ was an attractive guy with an amazing ass and what I had to guess was a pretty good size dick. I could only imagine as I saw the outline once while we were on the beach. AJ was an easygoing fellow about a year older than myself. We met at my job at the hotel where I was a waiter and he was a lifeguard. He was cool and we got along great but he was ridiculously homophobic and there was no way I was going to let him know that I played for both teams.

After our conversation, I still had my little problem. I opened the tumblr app on my phone and scrolled down looking at sexy guys for hours, occasionally watching some porn video. Eventually, I saw a new story by my favorite author @morrisondauthor​ entitled  “Freak by Night 7: Freaky Sneaky.” His stories are always so sexy that I find myself ejaculating before I get to the end. I get so upset when he takes a while to post his stories because they give me life and take me to a world I could never imagine. For some reason, the context usually gets me hornier than the images he uses. I got to the good part and it made me so close to my climax when my phone notification alarmed me. If you haven’t guessed, it was AJ letting me know he got home safely. He went on to tell me about his night and how he had four rounds of sex with his date in her car and she came all 4 times. I was so jealous, I was trying to come once to satisfy myself and he interrupted me boasting about his extravagant time. Now all I had in my mind were images of his sexy ass f***ing her sexy ass in the car and my vivid imagination made me ten times hornier. I had to get my nut so I told him the truth.

Me: You got your nut now I’m going to work on mine

Him: With Pamela? 😂😂😂 Night. Don’t forget the jergens.

I didn’t dignify him with a response. Instead I went to the living room and sat in the couch with nothing on but my boxer briefs. My dick stuck fully erect through the hole in my boxers and I jacked away once again replaying Morrison’s story in my head imagining it was me coming down the stairs to a sexy surprise. The sound of the thunderstorm outside with sprinkles of rain violently pelleting the window fueled my hormones and I could feel my balls ready to release the seed from their constraints. Suddenly there was a loud crash at my doorstep synonymous with a lightning bolt outside which ignited fear into my heart and caused me to forget that I was horny. Cautiously I approached the door and peered through the peep hole to notice nobody standing in the hallway. Still my curiosity wouldn’t let me rest so I opened the door ready to put my self defense skills to the test if I needed it. Imagine my disappointment when I viewed my roommate, Kevin wet from head to toe lying at our doorstep in the fetal position. He appeared to be highly intoxicated and since he doesn’t have a car, I can only assume that a Good Samaritan literally dropped him at the door. As the epinephrine wore off, I started to realize that I was once again disturbed from achieving my natural high.

Even though I was upset, I couldn’t leave him there like that so I dragged him inside. Like AJ, Kevin was straight, usually requesting that I keep the “gay shit” to myself. Yes, he knew about me. I’ve known him since we were kids because we were neighbors and grew up living in each other’s homes. When I found out that I had a taste for both girls and boys, I was around 13 and Kevin was the only person I told at the time. His reaction to the news could have been better. He called me a faggot and stormed out of my house. We didn’t speak for weeks afterward. Eventually he came to me randomly one day and apologized. I couldn’t forgive him and asked him to leave letting him know just how much he hurt me. He didn’t give up though and proved himself from that day forth that he wanted to be my best friend again. He fought off bullies, walked with me home from school and acted like the friend he was before I told him. I forgave him after a while and we were boys again. He constantly tries to get me to go out and drink with him but like I said before, I really don’t have a taste for it. We got this apartment when we moved to Florida for college and we get along well despite his occasional battles with alcoholism. Even so, it’s never been this bad.Kevin loved the gym and he worked out every weekday evening at 5 and went jogging every morning at 6. He took his physical health very seriously which is why I never understood why he drank alcohol. He also managed to maintain above average grades for his track and field scholarship at UCF.

Kevin Dill

I lifted Kevin off the floor and even though he was rather heavy, got him to the bathtub and removed the wet clothes from his barely responsive body. I haven’t seen him naked since we took baths together as kids but when I saw his naked body I had to step back and admire the marvelous muscular masterpiece. My eyes wandered to his dick which wasn’t even hard yet his uncircumcised attachment was 7 inches long and fatter towards the base. I finally snapped back into reality left to get a glass of warm water and an empty bucket in case he vomited. I ran some warm water in the bathtub and thoroughly bathed him. I couldn’t believe I was cleaning a grown man, but I didn’t want him to go into hypothermia. Not only was he drunk, but he was also wet from the cold rain. He started to gain a reasonable level of consciousness.

“Derek? What are you doing?”

“You’re drunk and cold just relax and drink this.”

I gave him an aspirin and the glass of warm water and watched him take it.

“I’m naked”

“I know”

“Why?”

“You were wet and unconscious”

“You couldn’t let me sleep it off?”

“I’m sorry would you rather get a cold or die from dehydration and hypothermia?”

He sucked his teeth, “you didn’t have to remove my boxers.”

“Hey if it’s wet it comes off.”

“Get out,” he said covering his private area.

“Nope, you could pass out at any minute. Look, I already lifted your heavy ass in here, removed your clothes by myself then took my bare hands and wiped your dirty ass. In fact it was my hands that peeled back your foreskin and cleaned your penis. It’s a little too late for modesty.”

He was speechless so I said, “What’s that on the floor? Pick it up you’re making a mess.”

He looked down, “What? What are you talking about?”

“Your bottom lip, now get out the tub and come dry off”

“Ha Ha…very funny,” he sarcastically mumbled as he stumbled out the bathtub.

I was right there to catch him with a towel and prevent him from falling. I began to dry his body when he smartly remarked, “I can do it myself you know”

I removed my body support and he dropped to the ground barely breaking his fall with his forearms.

“I thought you had it.”

“Help me up”

“Help me up what?”

“Help me up please”

“Help me up please what?”

“D’, I’m not saying that”

“Ok,” I began to leave the room.

“Fine, Please help me up Supreme Overlord Towers”

“No problem.” I helped him up and noticed he had an erection.

“Friend of yours?” I teased.

“Shut up!”

I assisted him to his bedside and helped him slide on his boxers.

“I feel so embarrassed,” he admitted

“Why? It’s just us here, chill.”

“This is not fair. You’ve seen me naked now and I even got hard,” he slapped his face in embarrassment.

“We used to bathe together all the time, washing each other’s backs and laughing at each other’s nakedness. What’s the big deal?”

He couldn’t make eye contact and stayed quiet so after sucking my teeth, I slid off my boxers, threw them to the side and danced around in a circle wagging my dick from left to right.

“Woah!” He exclaimed.

“Now I don’t have on anything. Are you happy now?”

He laughed hysterically, “that’s not what I meant.”

“Go to bed.” I helped him lay down and covered him with a warm blanket.

I turned around to leave but to my surprise, he grabbed my hand, “Please, don’t leave me again.”

“Again? I never left you.”

He burst into tears, “yes you did. When I called you by that word and you got upset with me, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I never wanted to lose my best friend. Those were the hardest months of my life, I never even cried over a girl like that.”

Confused, all I could say was, “This must be the alcohol talking.” I turned to leave again.

“Please!” He shouted.

“Okay, okay, just don’t yell like that again. The neighbors are sleeping.”

“Sleep here tonight.”

“If that would make you feel better, fine, but don’t vomit on me please.” I went to the corner to get my boxers.

“You don’t need those.”

Once again, confused but internally contented. I happily obliged, turned off the light went on the other side of his queen sized bed, pulling the covers over my exposed body.

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

The sound of rain pattering on the window echoed in the room and I was falling asleep. Unexpectedly, I felt a warm gentle touch on my dick that slammed the emergency brake of the train to dreamland. My dick was being massaged by none other than my best friend. I silently protested in my head not wanting to disturb the amazing sensation I was feeling which caused me to leak pre-ejaculation fluid. My brain finally gained control and I managed to stop him.

“Wait, what are you doing?”

“Shh. Just let it happen.”

“Now you sound like a rapist. This has to be the alcohol affecting you. You are not in your right frame of mind.” I got up and as I was standing up to leave, he pulled my hand and I landed supine right on the side of him. He lay against me leaning on his side I could see the shadow of his head in front of me and I could feel he was staring at me. Lightning flashed and I saw the look in his eyes that paralyzed me for that moment. I felt the heat radiating from his head increasing in intensity as he slowly approached my face. I felt like Chris from Get Out in the hypnosis scene, helplessly watching this happen through the windows of my eyes. When the eternity passed and he connected with my lips, the curtains closed but I could sense the brightest flashes of lightning outside. I regained control and participated in the best kiss of my life. Opening our eyes and pulling apart met us with nature’s fireworks applauding our performance.

“Wow,” we chorused.

He grabbed my body and brought me into a passionate make out session, rubbing his well toned body against mine allowing me to once again feel it’s shape, this time against my own. He went down to the left side of my neck and started sucking on it while rubbing his hands all over my back down to my bare ass. I hate hickeys but the euphoria was too intense to stop. I felt electricity flowing through my body as he continued. He kissed his way down to my left nipple and I expressed a soft moan. It felt like there was a string directly attached to the pleasure nerves in my dickhead. He continued kissing down my abs until he got to my pubic hairs and he got up. My eyes opened reacting to the sudden pause. We breathed deeply and synchronized.

“I never did anything with a dude before,” he admitted

“I’m still a virgin,” I countered.

“I know.”

I felt my face blush with embarrassment only to be aroused with pleasure at the immediate moist warm sensation that came from the head of my dick. Did he really just put my dick in his mouth? I looked down and he continued down the nine and a half inch solid shaft managing to get half of it in his mouth. That was the most mind blowing feeling in my life.

“You sure you never did this before?”

He chuckled and continued up and down repetitively sending me to a new level of heaven. He paused again and I couldn’t handle any more suspense. I reversed our positions and did exactly as he did to me in the same sequence. I thought my reaction was intense but as I sucked his neck his hands went all over my body and their favorite place was my ass. I worked my way to his nipples and he let out the sexiest deep moan that I couldn’t compare to all my years of watching porn. It send jolts through my body causing me to be extra turned on. I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to know what that dick tasted like. I skipped his abs and went straight to his pubic hairs which like mine were short lavishing in the musk they produced. I licked his dick from the base along the underside to the tip where I licked around the head tasting the pheromones produced. I experimented sticking my tongue in the entrance and he jumped.

“That was intense!” he smiled

I continued taking his head in my throat and he rewarded me with another deep moan. I continued my assault down the shaft attempting to go as far as I could. I made it as far as about 3 inches when ii felt my teeth hit his skin and I pulled back thinking about how much that hurt.

“Easy with the teeth baby”

Baby? If I wasn’t black I’m sure my face would be an apple right now. I tried again, this time opening my mouth as wide as I could and I made it down 5 inches of his eleven before I started to choke and retreat for air. He moaned again and that made me determined to get to the base. I went for it again this time holding my breath and swallowing as I went down fighting hard to resist the urge to cough. I think I made it as far as 9 inches that time but it was as far as I could possibly go. He let out another deep moan lasting longer than any of the predecessors.

“Damn baby no girl ever committed to going that far down.”

I was happy to satisfy him but after that I went up and down taking in only what I could manage, slobbering all over that sexy tool of his. After a few minutes, he pulled my head up and lead me in another intense kiss.

“I want to make love to you baby.” He stared intimately at me.

“How?”

“I want to fuck you.”

“You gotta let me fuck you too”

“No way I’m letting you anywhere near my ass with that thing.” He protested

“And I’m supposed to let you in mine?”

“Yeah but I love you and I want to prove it to you by taking your virginity.”

“I love you too and you can prove your love by letting me fuck you and take your virginity as well”

“I’m not a virgin.”

“Your ass is.”

“You always did have a smart mouth. It’s one of your most attractive qualities.”

“Well, the ball is in your court”

“Ugh….Okay, just go easy on me please.”

“I could say the same.”

“Okay turn over.”

“Umm no. We need to do a couple things to prepare first”

“We? Things like what?”

“Yes we! Come on, I’ll show you”

I went in my bedroom and grabbed my fleet. It’s a good thing I got two new bottles just in case a miracle happened. Didn’t think I’d get to use them so soon. I researched online how to prepare a long time ago and even practiced a couple of times. I taught Kevin what to do and after a while we were ready. We returned to his bedroom and turned his desk lamp on dimly. The patter of the rain was the only sound for a brief moment.

“That felt wierd,” he complained.

“Well there’s one more step we have to take,” I handed him the tube of lube.

“Hold on no need to rush just yet, I want to taste that ass first,” He kissed me intently then moved both of my legs up and attacking my asshole like it was his last meal. I don’t know which was better, that blowjob or the other level he was sending me to while he ate me. I felt his tongue go places that I didn’t know anything could. All of a sudden, I had this epileptic episode I couldn’t control. I was so weak after he finally finished with me. He grabbed the lube and inserted a finger inside my hole to open me up. He worked his second finger in there. and was about to enter.

“You better go up to 4 fingers, that thing is huge”

The third finger hurt like pins and needles. and the fourth was even worse. I really thought I was bleeding. He waited until I was comfortable, somehow managing to remain hard during the entire exercise. I guess he was as horny as I was. He entered me in the missionary position and I felt a sudden sharp pain as he passed my sphincter that sent kilojoules of electricity through my body. I cried and wanted to stop but he held me down and comforted me,

“Relax baby, just relax.”

I took slow deep breaths until the pain eased and he did not move. He waited until I was comfortable before he continued penetrating me at a steady pace. He didn’t go all the way in but he started a slow rhythm with about three inches of his massive meat. He only went further when I was in agreement. I stopped the rhythm and pushed him on his back without severing our connection. Gently I lowered myself onto his rod taking inch by inch until to my surprise, I fit the whole thing in there. I was so proud I almost didn’t notice the euphoric look on Kevin’s face.

“Damn baby, you sexy as f***,” he complimented.

I began a steady rhythm on him and I could feel him hitting my spot every time. Our session went on for a while. We went in every position we could imagine possible until he had me on my belly leaning against the edge of the bed drilling me.

“Hold on baby, you’re going to make me come,” I warned.

“That’s the plan baby,” he smirked.

I realized what he was trying to do and used every will power I had to stop myself from coming and resist him, ending that part of our session.

“You think you’re slick. I’m f***ing your ass tonight.” I retaliated.

He had a look of disappointment on his face but he lie back, removed his condom and succumbed to my wishes. He lie on his back rolling his eyes and pulled his leg up to reveal the prettiest pink spot I’ve ever seen in my life (only one I saw in person but it didn’t compare to anything in porn). I had to treat something so precious with the utmost care. I gently licked it for a few minutes before I let my tongue explore every delicious crevice of his ass it could reach. I imagine his ass would taste like ass but his was surprisingly sweet. I stuck my tongue inside and was shocked when I heard a deep moan escape his lips. I guess he was enjoying this as much as I was. I continued until I tasted something extra sweet and when I looked at it, it was a white fluid. I think he came from his ass. Damn I made him cream from eating him. I couldn’t believe it. His ass was moister than my tongue and I tasted as much as I could before grabbing the bottle of lube. I didn’t think I’d need it but I did not want to hurt him nor did I want him to chicken out. I inserted 2 of my fingers and they went in without a struggle. I had to fight with the third and fourth because his ass had a constant death grip on them. I positioned myself for entry and took it slow with him, exercising as much care as he did me. Like myself, he seemed to experience discomfort with the infiltration of the head. So I repeated the process and let him get used to it. After a while, he told me to go ahead. I started a slow rhythm  and carefully eased inch by inch into him until i was working 5 inches inside him. Without warning, he reversed the situation and put himself on top like I did. He started riding me. I was speechless but it felt so good when he slammed all the way down onto my dick taking all of it. He looked so sexy, I watched as his pecks vibrated and his ass jiggled moving up and down on me. He was so sexy I wanted to cry at the beauty I was beholding. His mouth was wide open and his eyes closed with his head tilted back moaning. He was enjoying this as much as I was. Once again we had another session with multiple positions until I was backshotting him. He creamed on my dick again throughout the experience. It felt so good, I knew I would climax soon.  He tried to run but I managed to pull him back every time. He said it was too intense and he couldn’t take much more, begging me to cum.

“What’s my name?”

“Derek”

“Wrong!” I violently pounded him.

“What’s my name?”

“I don’t know.” He cried.

“Yea you do,” I pounded harder, “what’s my name?”

“Supreme (moan) Overlord (moan) Towers,” he cried out in pleasure. With those words, 2 weeks of tension building erupted into the condom flooding it with life fluid. I came for a minute straight. I didn’t even know that was possible. The condom had the most cum I’ve ever seen in my life inside and I have know idea how all that fit in there. I looked down to see that Kevin came too. His sheets were soaked in his liquid release. There was so much I was sure he produced more than I did. We struggled to catch our breaths for bout five minutes. It was still raining and we took a shower together and had another make out session. We dried off and went to my room in our birthday suits. He spooned me and we had a long intense discussion even though it was now 3 in the morning.

“I wanted to do that for a long time,” he admitted.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I was afraid.”

“Of what? I’m your best friend.”

“I don’t know. I panicked that day you told me and the reason I freaked out is because I didn’t know how to react. I developed feelings for you and didn’t know how to express myself.”

“All these years and you wait until now to tell me. So what now?”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..


Disclaimer: Persons in the images used are not necessarily as the story describes do not reflect their character or sexuality. They are a mere depiction of each character’s features. However if there is a problem, please write me and they will be replaced by similar entities

© I. Black 2017

Water

“Has anyone checked on the human lately?”

The question hung in the air. Several creatures glanced at each other uncertainly; is there an answer?

“Perhaps someone should, as it seems no one has.”

“I will.” Said one purple alien. “I’m sure nothing is wrong. She is likely just sleeping, or something else human-like.”

The creature left.

The others returned to their activites - monitor the ship, read a book of some sort, or playing a game from their home planet.

It was only a few moments later that a horrified scream came from the halls. Immediately, every creature in the room dropped what they were doing to run to the source of the sound.

What they found was the purple creature standing, shaking, in the doorway of the human’s quarters.

“What is it? What is the problem?” An orange creature cried.

“Th-The human is going to die!”

“I am not dead!” Came the human’s protest. “I’m not dying either! Why did you scream?”

The creatures quickly flooded into the room, only to gasp in shock. A yellow one in the back of the crowd fainted.

“What are you DOING?” The Captain yelled.

“I was getting a drink and then Purple over here came in and-”

“YOU WERE DRINKING THAT?!” The green creature turned a gentle shade of white.

“Uh, yeah?” The human glanced at the bottle in her hands. “It’s just water.”

“How could you do this to us!” A pink creature sobbed. “We thought you enjoyed being on our ship!”

“I-I do? What makes you think I don’t?”

“You were trying to poison yourself, you dwarf planet!” The Captain searched frantically for a med-kit. “Do we have poison antidotes in our kits?”

“This isn’t poison! It’s water! I drink it all the time!”

“Why would you do that?! To build an immunity?”

“No! Humans drink water all the time! We need it to survive.”

Silence.

“You…do what?”

“Humans drink water everyday. If we don’t we will die. About seventy-percent of the human body is made of water. Or it might be eighty-percent, I’m not entirely sure. Anyway, water gives us strength and energy. We literally HAVE to have it.”

The crew was in shock. There was no movement for a second, then the Captain raised his arm and opened his log. The others listened while he spoke.

“Captain’s log, day 28 with the human crewmate; humans drink poison on a daily basis. Our study of the human becomes more questionable each day. The human claims that all humans drink poison everyday, because it makes them thrive, and without it they would die. I am confident it will take more than one journey around the galaxy to understand humans even a small bit. Over.”

sometimes i forget the mass effect trilogy takes over the course of a few years and not a decade or so because like

in me1 garrus is like this grumpy adolescent trying so hard to be an adult and change the galaxy for the better but is getting fed up with it and is too polite to make a single joke about it

and then by me3 he’s this sarcastic grumpy old man that’s had enough of the galaxy and being an adult but deals with it by making witty jokes at every opportunity and keeps saying he’s getting old

anonymous asked:

Since TaeJinSoPe went to watch Cirque du Soleil: KA, RM went on V LIVE (bless him), so I really wonder where the heck are Kookmin?? I hope they're not getting married in a Vegas chapel!!? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The last time we knew of Jimin’s whereabouts, he looked like this:

…. And Kookmin have not been seen since.

Coincidence?? yEAH, probably. I think n o t.

musicluver415  asked:

Hi, your stuff is great!! Can you do a shinee at the club? Thank you!!!

hullos bebs! let’s see shinee get down ….. down, down, down, view (tbh i know that’s not the lyrics but i can’t stop myself) 

onew:

  • his motions are pretty limited to shuffling around with a drink in his hand
  • but after a few (many, like so many) drinks………………………….did you know onew can twerk 
  • you can’t look away, take it in. take in onew in all his glory 
  • key has it all on video too and posts it in the group chat very often (onew: I AM NEVER DRINKING. AGAIN.)
  • absolutely knows that his body is going to be destroyed tomorrow but yolo
  • sweating a lot bc it’s hot af in the club and he is wearing a sweater 
  • can’t find his drink or man

jonghyun:

  • sitting at a booth with nursing a whiskey and bobbing his head to the music
  • *thinking to himself* i probably look so aesthetic rn 
  • when the members pull him out of his corner to dance, becomes kim wiggly, inventor of the wiggle
  • the lights are blinding him tbh 
  • weaving through the crowd: “yes hello drunk people, just trying to find the bathroom” 
  • does exaggerated versions of taemin’s bom bom boms 

key:

  • his body rolls could kill a man 
  • went up to the dj booth to request a song, becomes the dj (”hello my lil freaks HOW YOU DOING TONIGHT!!?!”) 
  • smokey eye on point and holy shit he looks fkin unreal under flashing lights
  • he knows it too and smirks at people gaping at him 
  • and then on the dance floor he does shit like that super ultra power shuffling from 321, limbs flailing, kim kibum doesn’t give a flying fuck he’s gonna have a GOOD TIME

minho:

  • whispers SHINEE’S BACK when they enter (onew: we’ve never been to this club before / minho: can you just? / onew: you can’t lie to the fans minho can’t do that)
  • yells v loudly when they put on juju on that beat
  • DABS AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT 
  • moves his arms a lot even when not dabbing 
  • apologizing all night bc he keeps bumping into people 
  • orders several bottles of champagne with sparklers!!!!!! bc going out and having fun with friends is a celebration and they’re going to celebrate dammit

taemin:

  • drifts away from the group a lot bc lee taemin is meant to be solo 
  • befriends all the bouncers and bathroom attendant (his name was steve and they took a picture together he’ll upload it if he ever gets an insta) 
  • TEARING UP the dance floor 
  • he’s all sweaty limbs and he’s smiling so brightly!!! bc wow he’s just cutting loose and just moving completely to the rhythm 
  • people made a circle so he could have more space and are just standing around him watching bc he’s just so fluid 
  • is his pelvis in anyway connected to his body???? how does it move like that 
  • needs to drink water asap
Send me a shade of color for my OC(s) to answer

Red - What makes you angry?

Crimson - Have you ever been in war? If so, describe how it impacted you

Maroon - What are you most passionate about?

Imperial - Are you in any position of power or authority? 

Ruby - Would you consider yourself impulsive or reckless?

Chili - Do you like spicy foods?

Brick - What are some things you dislike?

Rose - Would you consider yourself a romantic person?

Redwood - How tall are you? 

Wine - What is your opinion on alcohol? (and does it exist in your world?) 

Orange - What are some of your comfort foods?

Spice - Do you like to cook? Do you cook often?

Tangerine - What is your favorite fruit?

Peach - Are you generally a more gentle and soft spoken person or a louder and rougher person? 

Squash - Do you live in an agricultural setting?  If so, are you a farmer or something of the sort? What kind of crops do you grow?

Amber - Do you wield any sort of superpower? If so, what is it?  

Honey - Have you ever considered marrying someone? What is your opinion on marriage in general? 

Sandstone - Who in your life has been the most healing for you?

Rust - Have you thought about becoming old? Can you become old? Are you scared of being old? What do you think about elders? 

Pumpkin - What is your favorite part of Autumn? (If that exists in your world)

Jumpsuit - Have you ever been arrested/ in trouble with authority?

Bronze - What is your favorite way to warm up when it’s cold 

Yellow - Are you an optimist or a pessimist? 

Dandelion - Would you consider yourself stubborn? 

Marigold - What types of flowers are in your setting? Do you have a favorite?

Blonde - What is your hair color? do you like it?

Lemon - Are you more of a clean or dirty person?

Safety - What is the most traumatic experience in your life?

Gold - Would you consider yourself more rich or poor, in comparison to the world you live in?

Butterscotch - Is there candy in the world you live in? If so, do you have a favorite one? 

Daffodil - Do you like trying new things? What is something new you’d like to try?

Sunshine - Are you a more active or lazy person? 

Green - Was there ever a time in your life that you went through a period of growth? describe it. 

Juniper - What is the nature like in your setting? 

Shamrock - Do you believe in luck? If so, are you a generally lucky person?

Pine- If camping exists in your wold, have you gone camping? did you like it? do you go often?

Green tea - Does Tea it exist in your world?  If so do you like it, and which kind is your favorite? 

Fern - Would you enjoy running a flower shop? 

Seafoam - Are there bodies of water in your setting? Describe them if you can

Mint - Does Ice cream exist in your world? If so, what is your favorite Ice cream flavor? 

Laurel - Is there a major victory you’ve achieved in your life? if so, what is it? 

Emerald - If you could be immortal, would you want to be? 

Brunswick - Are you a person who is often jealous? what makes you jealous most often? 

Avocado - Are you a health nut or a fan of junkfood? 

Army - Do you have a fighting style? If so, what is it?

Olive - What is your Greek personality type? (sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric, or melancholic)

Blue - Are you a creative person? How do you like to be creative? 

Peacock - Are you a more flashy person, or do you like to blend in?

Sky - What is your favorite time of the day?

Arctic - Do you prefer warm or cool weather? 

Cerulean- What is your favorite way to cool down in hot weather?

Baby (blue) - Would you consider having children? If so, how many?

Periwinkle -  Would you consider yourself to be a good parent? what do you think a good parent should be?

Denim - What is your fashion style?

Navy - have you ever been on a boat/sailing? does it exist in your world? did you enjoy it? 

Ultramarine - What is your favorite aquatic creature? (if they exist) 

Cobalt - Do you live in a world with freedom? Describe your opinion on the subject

Teal - What makes you feel most at peace? 

Turquoise - Are you good at communicating your feelings?   

Lapis - What is your opinion on religion and the afterlife? 

Aegean - Would you consider yourself a wise person? who do you look to for wisdom? 

Purple - Is there magic in your world? if so, describe how it works

Violet - What is your ideal date?

Lilac - How would someone win you over?

Lavender - what is a smell you really like? 

Royal - How do politics work in your world?

Eggplant - What’s the weirdest thing you’ve eaten?

Amethyst- What is your aesthetic?

Mauve - What makes you feel nostalgic? 

Magenta - What is your Zodiac sign? 

Pink - Are you currently in a relationship? if so, who is your partner? 

Watermelon - what are your favorite summer activities?  

Bubblegum - Are you a sassy or sarcastic person? 

Salmon - Do you have any health issues or physical disabilities? 

Blush - Do you have a crush on anyone? If so, who is it?

Cotten candy - Would you say you have a sweet tooth?

Carnation - Are you comfortable with PDA? 

Rouge- Do you have an unpopular opinion? 

Pastel - Do you prefer pastel, bright, neon, or dark colors?

Coral - Do you have a strong moral code? What are some moral things that you feel strongly about?

Fuchsia - Are you a generally playful or goofy person? Who or what makes you feel playful or goofy? 

White - Do you consider yourself a good person? What’s the best thing you’ve ever done for somebody?

Snow - Have you ever seen snow? Do you like it? What do you like to do in the snow? 

Frost - What do you like to wear in cold weather?

Bone - When was the first time you ever witnessed death? How did it impact you?

Cotton - What do you like to wear for pajamas? 

Cream - Do you prefer Tea, Coffee, or Cocoa? (If your world has those things. If not, what sort of hot drinks do you have?)

Coconut - What would be your ideal vacation? 

Pearl - What do you look for in a romantic partner?

Parchment - Do you like to read or write? 

Lace - What would you name your child if you were to have one?

Porcelain - Do you consider yourself a delicate person? Do you fall apart easily? 

Salt - Would you consider yourself a mean person? What is it like to fight with you? 

Ghost- Are you easily scared? What scares you the most? 

Ivory - Do you play any musical instruments? If so, which ones and how well? 

Chiffon - Do you prefer a larger and cleaner environment, or a smaller and cozier one?

Alabaster - What is the most recognizable thing about you? What are people most likely to notice about you when they first meet you?

Egg-nog - Do you celebrate Christmas? If so, what traditions do you have? Which are your favorite?

Ecru - Do you have curly, wavy, or straight hair? 

Beige - What kind of foods do you eat when you’re bored?

Tan - What is your skin color? Do you like it, or do you wish you looked different?

Buttermilk - Do you prefer pancakes or waffles? (if those exist in your world)

Oatmeal - What is your usual breakfast?

Linen - What clothes do you wear to work?

Sugar cookie - What reminds you of your childhood? 

Sand - Have you ever been to a beach? If so, what’s your favorite thing to do at the beach? 

Hazel - What kind of folklore/myths/stories are told in your family/community?

Sepia - Do you have any hobbies? If so, what are they?

Buff - Would you consider yourself to be fit, fat, or skinny?

Latte - Do you like milk in your hot drinks? 

Brown- Where do you call home? 

Mocha - How do you like your coffee? (If you like coffee) 

Cinnamon - Which of the “Cinnamon Roll” memes fits you best? (looks like they could kill but is actually a cinnamon roll, looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you, looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll, looks like they could kill you and could actually kill you, or sinnamon roll)

Tawny - Cats or Dogs? (or any animal for that matter)

Hickory - How smart are you? Would you consider yourself more book smart or street smart?

Leather - How “basass” would you say you are?

Brunette - If you could change your hair color, what would you change it to? 

Gingerbread - What is your favorite holiday? 

Penny - If you could make a substantial living doing anything, what would you do?

Chocolate - Do you like chocolate? If so, what is your favorite way to eat it? 

Chestnut - Have you ever ridden an animal? If so, which one? 

Umber - Who do you call your friend? How many Friends do you have?

Carob - What do you look for in a friend? 

Cedar - How old are you? 

Caramel - How much does sugar affect you? 

Mahogany- What is your moral alignment? (Lawful good, Neutral good, Chaotic good, Lawful neutral, True neutral, Chaotic Neutral, Lawful evil, Neutral evil, Chaotic Evil)   

Peanut - Do you have any allergies? 

Grey/Gray - Introvert, Extrovert, or Ambivert? 

Shadow - What is your biggest regret? 

Silver - What do you imagine the future to be like? 

Graphite - Do you like to draw? If so, do you draw often? What do you like to draw?

Smoke - Have you ever taken any drugs? 

Fog - Was there ever a period in your life when you were confused and lost? how did you get out of it? 

Fossil - Do you have any older relatives other than your parents? If so, how many? Do you like them? 

Slate - If you could erase any memory from your life, would you do it? If so, which memory would you chose? 

Cloud - What do you spend the majority of your time thinking about? 

Ash - Is there something or someone from your past that you miss? 

Iron - Have you ever used a weapon? Do you own one? If so what is it?

Black - What is the darkest thing you’ve ever done? 

Ebony - Describe your family

Onyx - What are your nightmares most often about? 

Obsidian - Do you suffer from any mental disabilities? 

Spider - What irrational fears do you have? 

Charcoal - on a scale of one to ten how would you rate your survival skills? 

Soot - How hard do you work to achieve your goals? 

Midnight - Are you a night or morning person?

Raven - Can you fly? If not, do you ever dream about flying? 

Ink - write your autobiography in one sentence 

SKAM S04E03 Clip 5 - I Judge No One

SANA: That’s why I think we should be ambitious, and a clear goal should be to try to win at least one of the bus prizes at Tryvann* in May 2018.

GIRL 1: It’s pretty easy to say you want to win prizes, everyone wants that, but now that you’re bus boss, do you have any plans on how to do that?

SANA: To start, I’ve had a look at your budget, and it needs to be re-allocated. For example, there’s no point in trying to compete in lighting and sound rigging, cause then we’re going to lose. But what we can be competitive in is concept. So the first thing I’m going to do is move a lot of our resources from the lighting and sound category to the concept category.

INGRID: I’m sorry, but it’s pretty hard to win the year’s best concept.

SANA: Yes, but if you do an analysis of the buses that have won the last three years, you can see some obvious commonalities. The League 2014: a boy’s bus from Bærum with Pokeball-bar and Pokemon decorations. Montana 2015: a boy’s bus from Oslo-West that used three versions of Montana - Tony Montana, Hannah Montana and the state Montana. And then we have Landslaget** 2016, inspired by football spirit and nationalism. Do you see what those buses have in common?

GIRL: Boy’s buses…

SANA: All the concepts suck and we can do better. In the first round, I’m going to call in all the bus bosses to a meeting where we plan what we’re going to do the next half year with some clear goals. Any more questions? Yes?

GIRL TWO: Well, so … the russ period is all about partying and drinking, and then I have to ask, since you’re Muslim, what do you think of drinking?

SANA: I judge no one.

Keep reading

humans are mammals, so we have a sucking reflex at birth (infants suck on whatever touches the roof of the mouth), to help with breastfeeding. obviously, we lose the reflex past infancy, but we still have the ability. we can drink things through straws.

and non-mammalian aliens have no such capability. 

“I can’t believe you’ve never had bubble tea before,”

“Human-style drinks are rare on my planet, Evelyn,”

“Fair enough. Well, go on, take a sip…what are you doing?”

“Opening the cup?”

“Thats not how you drink it, don’t peel the plastic, here, poke a straw through it,”

“Like this?”

“Yeah, but careful, or you’ll spill it. Uhh, nope, you’re good,”

“What now?”

“You drink it?”

“How? The plastic’s still in the way?”

“Do you not have straws on Dagbusvar? Huh, weird. You just kinda..

“So the liquid just goes up the straw? Like, capillary action?”

“No, its uhh, I only learned this in English, wait a bit….You create a partial vacuum in your mouth, drawing liquid in, and then you swallow it normally,”

“Like the air pressure cleaner we have on base,”

“Yeah! But on a smaller scale,”

“Thats weird. Is it common on your planet?”

“I don’t know? Well, I know mammals can do it, and some insects can, but like, their mouthparts are like straws already, and maybe some fish can?”

“…”

“I wonder if they have spoons; I want you to try the tapioca. They’re kinda like the the Afakiv eggs you like so much, but like, sweeter.”

Mental Health Check

You betta check yo self!

1. Did you eat in the last 8 hours? 

- remember it’s better to eat junk food than nothing at all. If the only thing you want to eat is unhealthy, that’s ok, let yourself eat it. 

- Your body needs energy! Even if you aren’t hungry you should eat a little bit, otherwise your metabolism will slow down and you will feel tired and slow. 

- If you are too busy to stop and have a meal try and grab something quick like an apple, or a handful of nuts.

2. Did you smile or laugh today?

- laughter releases endorphins, stress releasing hormones, and antibodies that help fight infection and disease!

- smile at yourself in the mirror for thirty seconds

- look up a funny video and make yourself laugh at it even if it’s a bit unnatural at first. Sometimes once you get laughing your laugh becomes funny too and then you can’t stop!

3. Did you drink enough water today? 

- Water is so important. It flushes all the bad stuff out of your body. Without it your blood thickens and your brain might get a little foggy. 

- If you forget to drink water try to drink a glass before a meal, or before bed, or right after waking up! This might help you remember!

- The recommended amount is 8 eight ounce glasses per day. It’s okay if you don’t drink the recommended amount. Everybody’s body is different and it depends on the amount of physical activity you do in a day. Just drink what you can, your body, and skin, and brain will thank you for every drop!

4. What do you need to be happier?

-Do you need to take some medication that you forgot about? Do you need to see a doctor? Remember, mental health is just like physical health. Make sure you are taking care of yourself!

-  Go for a walk, do a few pushups, or jumping jacks, or hula hooping. Whatever you feel like! Even if it is just for a second it will help you by releasing endorphins!

- Wash your bed sheets with some yummy smelling soap or essential oil. 

- open the window for some fresh air and open the blinds for

- Maybe you could call up a friend or a relative and talk to them for a few minutes. 

- Make sure you get a full nights sleep. Sleep is your bodies way of healing and resetting itself. (If you have trouble sleeping try turning your phone off at 9pm. Make sure you never eat in your bed or do other activities. It will help you to sleep if your body knows your bed is just for sleeping.)

- Find something that you love! Do you love a certain type of food? Spend some time making it! Do you like to read? See if you can borrow a new book. Be it knitting, yoga, drawing, soccer, dancing, listening to music, writing, beading, playing rugby, making sock puppets. Whatever it is, do it! 

- Set goals for yourself. Discover what you are good at and what you want to be good at. Improve. Be proud of yourself when you smash your goals and try again when you fail.