hi nbv! my boyfriend is in law schoo full-timel, and i'm the one with the less-taxing job and lifestyle for now. obviously, each person's wants and needs are different, but do you have any tips for The Care And Keeping Of Your Law Student? What do you wish someone would do for you? Thank you!
I don’t know if you’re living together or not, but honestly the things that come to mind immediately are domestic—I would love someone to cook for me and do my laundry. Both are so necessary to daily life, but they take so much time. Rather than use up my energy, I end up putting laundry off for weeks and eat terrible food. I just don’t have time or the brainspace to spare unless it’s an emergency.
If you’re not living together or aren’t at that point of your relationship, then I think the biggest thing would be—work with your Law Student’s schedule and give them as much advance notice as possible. For me, between school, work, journals, etc. my free time is limited, and I generally fill what time I do have with homework/studying.
So when a friend texts me randomly on a Thursday night to ask if I want to go out, my first reaction is no, I have work I have to get done. Whereas a friend (who knows me very well) texted me weeks ago and said she was going to be in town, did I want to go to dinner Sunday night? To which I happily replied, yes, of course, put it on my calendar, and planned my whole weekend around seeing her.
You can’t plan everything in life, but understanding that your Law Student has a lot on their plate and might not be able to drop everything for just anything is key.
Also, though I hope this bit of advice isn’t necessary, please also make sure that your needs are taken care of, and that your Law Student is not taking advantage of your understanding and generosity. It is perfectly okay to tell your Law Student, “I’m happy to do your laundry, but you need to be responsible for cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming the carpet,” OR “this event is really important to me, I am telling you with plenty of advance notice so you can make time for it,” OR “you can pick the night but it’s non-negotiable that we do something together once a week, even if it’s just a netflix night.”
I definitely have been known to use “oh man, I have so much work” as an excuse to turn down social invitations or skip events I didn’t want to attend. The truth is that they simply weren’t priorities for me.
Law school is a priority, of course, but so are you and your relationship. Don’t let one distract entirely from the other.