“Is Bruce in here?” Tim figured he might be— Bruce spent a lot of time in the children’s wing of Wayne Enterprises. There were a dozen or so kids in daycare most weekdays, and Bruce liked to hang out.
Tim liked to hang out too. They had nice snacks, and he’d known most of the kids since they were toddlers. And sometimes naps were mandatory.
“Conference call,” Damian told him. (For someone who claimed to hate naps, snackfood, kids, and humanity in general, Damian also spent a lot of time in the children’s wing.) “I don’t know where.”
He went back to what he was doing, which was arranging a set of pewter soldiers into a complex model of a battlefield, presumably for the benefit of the preschooler sitting next to him.
“The Battle of Issus, 333 BC.”
“Right, obviously.” Tim decided he was curious, so he settled down on the mats to watch. Damian finished his model; he pulled a marker from the art table and used it as a pointer.
“Okay. This is the Macedonian army, outnumbered but in the better tactical position, south of the Pinarus River. Their leader is Alexander the Great. And this—” He pointed to his enemy line. “—is the Achaemenid Empire. They’re about to lose.”
Damian tapped his marker on the Macedonian right. “This is the companion calvary, Alexander’s elite force, and they—” he cut off when he noticed his pupil digging in the toy bin, clearly distracted. The kid came up with a battered Transformer, which he set behind Damian’s lines.
“Elliot. Alexander did not have robots.”
“But,” said Tim, rummaging through the box himself, “did he have wizards?” He pulled a bearded magician out of the tub and held it up for Damian to see.
“You know he didn’t.”
Tim passed the wizard to Elliot. “But what if he did?”
“How would that go?”
“Abracadabra, Alexander!” Elliot yelled, gleefully smashing through Damian’s entire left flank.
“Damn it, Drake.” Damian sighed in frustration— not quite the rise Tim was hoping for, but still something. He dropped Elliot’s discarded robot back into the box.
“I don’t know what you were expecting,” Tim told him. “Elliot’s four. He’s too young for— what is this— military history?”
“He was doing fine before you showed up.” Damian started to re-erect his soldiers, but he gave it up after Elliot came in for a second pass. “Which is typical, isn’t it?”
“Thank you.” Damian crossed his arms. “Fine. I’ll bite. When is he supposed to learn this kind of thing?”
“High school? Maybe never.”
“That can’t be right.”
“Have I ever lied to you?”
“Frequently.” Damian rolled his eyes. “I’m getting a second opinion.”
Damian checked the room for potential allies. “Thomas?” he called over his shoulder, “You learned military strategy as a kid, right?”
Duke looked up from the book he was reading to a pair of kindergardeners. “Just you, man.”
“Told you.” Tim fished a bag of plastic ninja from the toy box and arranged them pointedly into a row. “How are you still surprised by this kind of thing?”
Damian glared at him. “Okay, first of all? I’m not a— hold on a second. Elliot!”
Elliot froze with a large, plastic dinosaur held aloft over the battlefield. He drew it sheepishly back to his chest. “Sorry.”
“Not in the calvary wing,” Damian told him. “You’ll scare the horses.”
“Here?” Elliot pointed to the front of the phalanx.
“Aim for his center.” Damian turned back to Tim. “Anyway. Why are you still talking to me? I thought we had an agreement about unnecessary contact.”
I just want Dalinar and Kaladin to sit around late one night talking, then accidentally getting on the topic of their brothers and their “failures” to protect them. So it starts off really angsty and somber but 3 hours later Dalinar’s telling Kal the story of how Gavilar once tripped in full shardplate off of a waterfall when he got startled by a chicken. Dalinar had been sworn to secrecy when it happened.
Just them recognizing that they’ve been through similar things.
“Lili growing some flowers (maybe with a bouquet that holds symbolic value)”
…I was totally unoriginal and went with lilies. They really do suit her! X’D Meanwhile Raz gets a flower crown/mess loool in hindsight I realize Lili probably wouldn’t pick a ton of flowers but I thought the idea was cute so…!
First time drawing her, and I’m so happy to say that Lili is super easy to draw!
So like I kind of have a question/statement. So the first Avengers movie was set in 2012, right? Like the actual time. Like the Chitauri invasion happened in 2012 in New York? So like, (spoiler for those who haven’t seen homecoming yet, like kind of a spoiler.) if the Vulture stole weapons from the Chitauri weapons from the wreckage IN 2012 (2012), when’s homecoming set in? Like what year is Spider-Man: Homecoming set in? Like after they find one of the alien weapons and stuff and is all like ‘the world is changing boys, time we change too’, it says 8 years later. 8 YEARS. Which would mean Spider-Man: Homecoming is set in 2020… right? And it’s set only two months after the whole battle between Cap and Tony (Civil War). So was Civil War set in 2019/2020? Like does that also mean Peter was born in 2005 because he clearly states to Tony that he’s 15 YEARS OLD because Tony was going on about he shouldn’t have let some 14 year old do the job and Peter then corrected him. Like are you guys confused too? I literally want an explanation. Like are the rest of the movies set in the future? I know for a fact that the Avengers was set in 2012 because when Captain America wakes up in the first Captain America (The First Avenger), Nick Fury clearly states that he’s now in New York City, 2011 and the Avengers happened not too long after it. So like, where did the time/year change? Comment what y'all think.
Okay, so I guess the main reason why I was so excited over the whole
Markiplier Valentine’s thing was because, not only was it interactive,
but it had Dark and Warstache… (well… we didn’t really get that much
on Wilford) but this isn’t really what I’m talking about, like, those
are my fave characters and… I just want to get more theories of them,
like, get what did he mean what he said and what was it with him
creating that loop and stuff??!
I mean, I’m so excited and I hope they do more
interactive stuff, like, I don’t know, maybe something with Halloween,
like, Trick or Treat with Markiplier??! I mean that’s if they have the time and energy to do another!!!
I don't understand y'all. Anti fascism yet for big government? Anti fascism yet against freedom of speech? Anti fascism but attacking anyone who opposes your political views? Doesn't all that sound exactly like fascism to you? Hell it sounds exactly like Mussolini's black shirts (y'all look exactly like them) and Hitler's brown shirts. Both did exactly what y'all do! How can y'all possibly think y'all are anti fascism? (This is a legitimate question)
No offence, but what did y'all think The Last Jedi was going to be about ? Rey, Finn, Poe and Rose playing space volleyball with BB-8 while Luke keeps score? Whether or not you ship it, whether or not you believe something romantic will go down, Rey’s relationship with Kylo Ren is the central one.
SO HEY YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, now that Sha Ka Ree is over I can share all the headcanons and inside jokes and canon facts that either never made it into the story or would have been WAY too ridiculous to make it in. See below the cut for the shit my wife and I talk about before bed (some are a little nsfw, spoiler alert for the whole fic):