what did i just make oh god

the signs as rules and tips for dating a hockey player
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>aries:</b> oh my god don't (JUST DON'T)<p/><b>taurus:</b> let him take his nap<p/><b>gemini:</b> lie about the fact that you ABSOLUTELY HATE his god awful green plaid suit<p/><b>cancer:</b> i've met plenty of brunettes<p/><b>leo:</b> learn the difference between classy and cheap<p/><b>virgo:</b> you know how little kids get when they don't get their naps? that's how it's going to be<p/><b>libra:</b> no matter what, under any circumstances, do not tell him what he did wrong<p/><b>scorpio:</b> never make plans for four months down the road<p/><b>sagittarius:</b> it's called being petty and a hoe<p/><b>capricorn:</b> have a life<p/><b>aquarius:</b> this isn't high school<p/><b>pisces:</b> don't complain about him playing xbox 9 hours out of the day<p/></p><p/></p>

jenasisity  asked:

Oh. My. God. What did you do to him?!? Akskdkdnej...I don't—I can't. What the heck?! I'm so confused, but also a bit freaked out and so very excited!! Does this mean Oikawa has history with Suga's captors? I don't...what the heck just happened?! I'm gonna freaking flip my table here!! ( ゚Д゚ )

(Flip all of the tables, it’s a great way to release frustration)

I really, really wish I could just spill all of the secrets for this fic, but that would make me a horrible author, so…

I can say that poor Oiks is in for some real psychological turmoil (I’m so sorry, I hate doing this to Trash Son™)

Anyway, thanks for reading, I’m so, so glad that you’re intrigued!! (Pro tip: Keep some tables on hand for future flipping)

Originally posted by engekihaikyuu

100 Dialogue Prompts
  1. “Where the hell did that baby come from, Marissa?!" 
  2. “Did you destroy the world AGAIN?”
  3. "What do you mean you’re a serial killer?”    
  4. “Listen, you can’t just keep shoving people off the sides of cliffs.”
  5. “Oh my god. I thought you were dead.”
  6. “That wasn’t there before”
  7. “So what now?” “I have no idea, I thought that would kill us”
  8. “I can’t believe you’re married to death, again!”
  9. “Assassination would seem to be a better career, with your skillset.”
  10. “It’s not my fault that the snails committed mutiny!”
  11. “It’s situations like this that make me question why I follow you anywhere.”
  12. “Where did this dog come from?”
  13. “Did you remember to take the skin off?”
  14. “I was going to ask what you’re doing, but at this point, I don’t think I want to know.”
  15. “Why is there a corpse in the bathtub?”
  16. “What in tarnation”
  17. “I love you, I’ll make you love me too”
  18. “This would be a lot easier if you sat still.”
  19. “You see, it all began when it spoke back.”
  20. “This is the pit where we keep the cube that screams.”
  21. “Why did you steal my door?”
  22. “Why didn’t you just listen to me…”
  23. “Hey, you finally made it!”
  24. “Wait, there were only three of them. Why are there now four?”
  25. “How do you ‘accidentally’ hit someone hard enough to rip a hole through time and space?”
  26. “Why is there bloodstains on the floor, honey?”
  27. “… Why are you… eating tacos at 3 AM?” “Why not?”
  28. “Why would you train your gerbil army to take over the world and enslave humanity?!”
  29. “Are toasters supposed to float?”
  30. “Honey, did you eat the dog”
  31. “Hey bro, where’s our sister?” “Um… we don’t have a sister.”
  32. “Wanna help me steal a giraffe?”
  33. “I told you that you would regret it, now we’ve ended up like this.”
  34. “Why are your clothes all wet? Why are you covered in glitter? Why does your sister have wings? Ah- get off the carpet! It’s getting all wet!”
  35. “You’re not actually sure, are you?”
  36. “What do you expect me to do? I’m a magician, not a wizard!”
  37. “Dad? What are you doing here? This is a spaceship.”
  38. “Mom says I can’t burn the city hall with you. She said that we’re going to my aunt that day.”
  39. “You….you just don’t understand..”
  40. “Okay, so. No more caffeine for you, that’s apparent.”
  41. “Where were you last night?”
  42. “Okay but have you seen what my hair does?! I kills people!”
  43. “I don’t think you understand the term 'dead or alive’, because I don’t know if this thing IS dead or alive”
  44. “What do you mean, ‘there wasn’t a murder weapon’?”
  45. “Time flies, but I can fly faster.”
  46. “You just crashed with MY podship into that wall and all you say is »It’s just a scratch«?”
  47. “Now sweetie, don’t get scared when you hear the gunshots, okay? Just don’t come to the house.”
  48. “and… why do you have a gorilla in your room again?”
  49. “Okay, last question: why is there an owl in the fridge?”
  50. “Well shit, you’re hotter than i was expecting.”
  51. “It turns out, space isn’t actually the final frontier”
  52. “If I had hands right now I would choke you.”
  53. “…why did you think it would be a good idea to set that on fire?”
  54. “Close your eyes, sweetie. They can’t get you then.”
  55. “That tiger, that tiger eats humans”
  56. “I swear, if ONE more person comes at me with their hot dog buns–”
  57. “If you would have just kissed them, we wouldn’t be in this mess! Now we’re tied up on traintracks about to be smushed like bugs!”
  58. “Do I want to know why your'e in my apartment wearing only sport shorts which are quite tight?”
  59. “What do you mean that woman wasn’t you?”
  60. “Why is there a dog on the couch?!”
  61. “Stop dude stop, you scared the dogs.”
  62. “What on earth made you think the banana was a good idea?
  63. "Do I want to know whats in the box”
  64. “Wait, no! Please don’t leave me here, it’s getting dark. Have you not heard the stories of the things in these woods?”
  65. “Those were shoes yesterday”
  66. “Can I at least put on my socks first?”
  67. “Why is the Devil in your living room?” “It’s Saturday, Tom. Date night.”
  68. “John, get your damn death ray off of my cat’s bed. You’ve given poor Fluffy radiation poisoning!”
  69. “I get it, you think I don’t care about you. You think I want nothing to do with you… And you’re right.”
  70. “No. Not after last time.”
  71. “What made you think you could survive this?”
  72. “No! I never said you could reenact General Sherman’s Total War tactic from the Civil War! We’re gonna get arrested!”
  73. “Why does our 8 y/o daughter think that THAT werewolf is her pet dog?! He’s been terrorizing our entire town!!”
  74. “Have you even bothered to consider your options before deciding to bungee jump into the Pacific?”
  75. “That is NOT how you bury a dead body, Jared!”
  76. “Do you know where the cat is? I haven’t seen it in two weeks…”
  77. “You did what?!” “It’s not that big of a deal” “You killed a man!”
  78. “But you love me, don’t you? So you’ll forgive me.”
  79. “I don’t care.”
  80. “You’re a fucking asshole, you know that, right?”
  81. “You’d be surprised how flexible a sloth can be.”
  82. “Oh great, the world exploded…. again”
  83. “I dressed up for THIS?”
  84. “Why? And how?”
  85. “Would it hurt you to tell me exactly where we’re going?”
  86. “You can’t take back those words anymore. Or everything else you did.”
  87. “he didn’t do anything I fucking told him to do!”
  88. “When they came, why didn’t you fight?”
  89. “What are you doing here?” “I was about to ask you the same thing…” “Well, it’s called the hanging tree for a reason.”
  90. “__, please come down from the tree, i’ll treat you to pizza.”
  91. “You can… seriously? Oh my gosh, teach me teach me teach me!!”
  92. “I wasn’t aware that 'monster’ was a term of endearment.”
  93. “Yes, I’m sure your flower pot really is trying to kill you, Debra.”
  94. “Why is our child on the roof?”
  95. “Do you want a hug? Will that help?”
  96. “How could you sign us up for this without reading the fine print?! It says right there that we have to give up everything!!!”
  97. “And it’s been stuck in there how long now?”
  98. “I learned I can’t trust you when the world was "fine”, now tell me one reason not to place a bullet between your eyes and listen to you.“
  99. “Why the hell are you naked in my room?”
  100. "Having criminals line up against their will and you killing them is not community service!”

100 prompts. Amazing. Thank you for sharing your ideas and contributing to our community.

Let’s make a new list right now! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”! I will use the first 100 prompts for the next list. One prompt per amigo please!

anonymous asked:

Hi Lis! So I know you really love Mick Jagger and I wanted to ask how you think Harry did impersonating him. I don't know much about Mick's mannerisms so I thought you'd have the best answer x Thanks!

OH I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY

Something that I was really surprised about what that it seemed like a lot people thought Harry was exaggerating A LOT when he did his impersonation. He did embellish, but…Mick Jagger genuinely talks/performs just like that. I mean, you think Harry was eccentric? Watch Mick perform Sympathy for the Devil then come back to me. 

THE SHOULDER SHIMMY WHEN HE TALKS

SMILEY TROUTY MOUTH TWINS

HARRY IMITATING MICK’S T-REX WALK

A BEAUTIFUL TWITCHY T-REX

Mick makes Harry’s finger point

look incredible tame

Dear, God, they became kindred spirits 

BUT WHAT REALLY SOLD ME WAS WHEN HARRY STAYED IN CHARACTER WHEN HE WASN’T EVENT THE FOCUS

HIS EXPRESSIONS

WERE PERFECT

Overall, a 10/10 performance 

anonymous asked:

can you do some Hunk headcanons??? shit I love yours, so perfect <3

you know what else is perfect? hunk

  • shiro: “team this is a serious matter so no joking around” hunk: “or you’ll…….. punish us??”
  • hunk reminds lance of the ladies that work at the salon near his house
    • he’s just got that latina “honey, you would not believe what arturo told me about nina last week” hairdresser vibe
    • sometimes lance gets the feeling that hunk is gonna give him a trim
  • “…okay but has anyone else noticed that coran sparkles sometimes when he talks?? like is this an altean thing or”
  • hunk: “this is such a bad idea oh god please don’t do it” also hunk: [whips out phone to record the proceedings]
  • pidge never actually has to ask hunk for help when coding, he’s just nosy so he’ll pop in and give his opinions whether she wants them or not
  • allura: “hunk i need you to make a bomb” hunk: “uh i’m sorry what did i do to give you the impression that i can make a–…. yeah okay give me like 10 minutes”
  • hunk team ups (as described by lance)
    • with pidge: Nerd Squared
    • with keith: Ketchup and Mustard
    • with shiro: Swole Acceptance
    • with lance: The Best Team (”tbt is in position shiro” “okay codenames are officially banned from missions”)
  • keith, delirious with pain: “hunk you’re so nice, dude. you’re like… like an angel with no wings” hunk: “so like a person”
The Five Times Bucky Picks You

Word Count: 2,084

Warnings: None.

A/N: Something quick I whipped up because my brain is too tired to write any series. Enjoy :D 

Originally posted by duckybarness

The first time Bucky picks you, you’re sitting at your dining room table, biology book opened as you try to draw a diagram of a plant cell. You have a half-eaten sandwich sitting on your plate beside the book and you take a bit, absently chewing as you frown at your paper. The proportions are all wrong and these are just notes, they shouldn’t be something you worry about, but here you are, erasing the cell wall for the fifth time and trying to be accurate this time around.

Being in honors classes, you’re pressured to do your best and graduate top of your eighth-grade class. Your parents beam with pride when they tell their friends that you’re doing so well in school, and you want to keep them looking that way for as long as you can.

There’s a knock to your door and your mom calls out your name. “Bucky’s here!” she says.

Keep reading

catfruits  asked:

Okay, so, I'd love to read a little something by you set in a world where Lavender made it out of the Battle of Hogwarts. Maybe not okay, but alive?

Once upon a time, Lavender had wanted everyone to look at her. She had been the kind of kid who put on dramatic plays for her stuffed animals, for any visitors to the house, and for any neighbor or passersby she could snag from the front yard.

Dating Ron in sixth year had been fun, most of all because everyone had kept sneaking glances at her. She had heard her name in curious whispers and she had grinned and giggled into Parvati’s shoulder.

Everyone was looking now, or pretending not to. She heard the whispers– oh it’s that poor Brown girl. Can you imagine, if it was your daughter, if it was you? Oh and she was so pretty before, too–what a pity–almost makes it worse, doesn’t it?

“You know Professor Lupin was a werewolf?” Hermione said, ten minutes into a very awkward lunch she had asked for in an equally awkward letter.

Lavender pushed a sauteed carrot through a little puddle of pasta sauce. “I think everyone heard about that one. Someone told the papers, or something, right?”

“Er, yes,” said Hermione. “Snape did. Which is what I– I mean, it’s related. Oh, I wish you’d gotten to talk to Remus about this. He was a lovely man.”

“Not as lovely as Lockhart,” Lavender said and she and Hermione spent a moment in wistful remembrance. “God, I feel old,” Lavender said.

“Anyway, Snape,” said Hermione. “Snape and Lupin. When Lupin was at school, Snape would make him a potion that would… tame him, on full moons. He could just curl up in his office and sleep by the fire. If you’re interested, I’m trying to learn how to brew it myself.”

Lavender shook her head. “We’re not friends,” she said. “Never have been. So why are you doing all this?”

Hermione looked like she was trying to say “we’re friends,” but she couldn’t get it out. “I was there, once, when Lupin turned without the potion. I was so scared. I thought we were going to die.”

“Afraid I’ll sniff you out on a dark night?” Lavender said, face twisting as she sank back into her wicker chair.

“No, I–” Hermione squeezed her eyes shut, and all the hesitation was making Lavender more and more uncomfortable. Even at eleven, Hermione had bulldozed through things. She didn’t waver. “I was so scared, but I think it was even worse for him. It hurt, but he looked so scared, too, I–”

“I know how it feels,” said Lavender, very quietly, and Hermione snapped her mouth shut. Lavender took a big sip from her tea. It was still steaming– it had not taken long to exhaust small talk, between the two of them.

Hermione cleared her throat and tried again. “I’m trying to do the right thing. I’m trying to make amends. I’m trying to– make things better. Do you want this?”

Lavender put her mug back down, shaking out scalded fingers, and said, “Yes.” Then, because her mother had raised her right, she said, “Thank you.”

“That sounds like a weird conversation,” said Parvati, whose door Lavender went and knocked on after she and Hermione had split the bill with the precise-to-the-Knut math of the vaguely acquainted and recently employed.

Lavender kicked through the fall of autumn leaves that had collected in front of the porch swing. “She was trying to be nice, I think.”

“She’s not very good at it,” said Parvati.

-

Her father wept. He tried not to but he was a crier, always had been.

“You were so brave,” said Lavender’s mother, cupping her cheeks in her warm hands and not even flinching at the scar tissue under her palms. “We are so proud.”

Lavender’s mother was a Muggleborn, daughter of a math teacher and a door-to-door salesman (“now there is a profession that requires some magic,” her grandfather used to tell her).

Her father was a wizard and he was trying hard not to cry, bending down to pet the dogs weaving between all their ankles. Lavender bent down, too, scratching behind Fiddlestick’s floppy ears while Mopsy cleaned her cheek forcefully. “Hey,” she said, and her father looked up, trying to firm his wobbly chin.

“You know I’m proud of you, too,” he said, trying not to tremble on it. “I just…” He reached out to squeeze her knee gently. “You did everything right. You did everything good. I’m so proud of you, chickadee.”

“I know,” she said, and she did. He was a Gryffindor, too.

-

It took Hermione more than a month to figure out the potion sufficiently well enough that she’d let Lavender try it. She was founding a non-profit for nonhuman rights, too, after all, as well as doing a fair few local speaking gigs, petitioning the Wizenagamot on a half dozen issues, getting an advanced degree, and supposedly, at some point, sleeping.

It took more than a month, so Lavender spent another night locked in her parents’ newly fortified cellar. She didn’t remember much, but she woke up with her throat sore and her nails ragged. The door was gouged from the inside. She wondered if she had been screaming. She wondered if that’s what the howls were. She felt like screaming, maybe, a little.

The door cracked open the moment the moon had dropped down below the horizon, outside. Her mother came in with a tray of her favorite breakfast foods– danishes and boiled eggs, steaming hot cocoa with the barest splash of bitter coffee in it.

Parvati came stomping down the stairs after her. “Graceful,” said Lavender. She winced at the roughness of her voice.

“Look who’s talking,” said Parvati. “Up, c'mon, eat your breakfast. We’re doing midnight manicures. Your dad says he’ll let us doll up his nails, too.”

The next full moon night, Lavender locked herself in the cellar again. “It should be safe,” Hermione had said. “It should. I mean, I’ve done all the tests. I followed all the instructions. It should work.”

Lavender didn’t remember, because she never remembered– she didn’t recall the cellar door unlocking and opening after ten minutes of post-moonrise silence. She didn’t recall Parvati Wingardium Leviosa-ing a comfy chair down the stairs, or her sitting down and pulling out a stack of Witch Weeklys, nor did she remember curling up on Parvati’s fuzzy button slippers and going to sleep.

But she did remember waking up in the morning, her cheek pressed into a soft pillow. She was tattered under a thick blanket, but she was human and looking upward at Parvati’s slack, sleeping face. Her dark plaits tumbled, curling, over the soft pink polka dots of her pajamas.

Lavender pulled herself up to sitting, stole the open Witch Weekly, and waited for Parvati to wake up.

-

“You’re going to be alright,” Professor Trelawney said and she wasn’t even looking at Lavender’s palm, just holding her hand tight in her cold fingers. “You’re going to be happy. You’re going to be fine. People are going to love you and stand by you and we will be there.”

The tower room was just the same as Lavender remembered it, down to the spicy-sweet tea and Trelawney’s big blinking eyes. Lavender squeezed her hands back. “I love you, too, professor.”

“You know, I think you can call me Sybil. It seems the time for it.”

Dean and Seamas’s housewarming for their ugly little first flat was a crowded mess, but the afterparty wasn’t. Lavender and Parvati came by with paint swatches, opinions, and hangover remedies. They ate greasy Chinese food on the floor, because it was about as comfortable as the couch.

They came back the next week, and the next. Parvati conjured a crackling fire in a big fruit bowl Dean’s mother had given him and they all sat around it like they were back at Gryffindor Tower’s hearths, procrastinating on homework.

On nights like that they sometimes talked about Hogwarts, but most of the time they didn’t. Dean had started drawing again and he walked them through his notebooks– his sisters, caricatures of the customers he dealt with in Ollivander’s wand shop, the snarky little comics he’d always scrawled in the edges of his notes. Parvati told them about the Auror trainees’ antics, going ut on their first field missions with their mentors. “All bravado and caffeine,” she said. “Bunch of show-offs.”

“So you fit in well, then?” Dean said.

“Nah, that’s Lav,” Parvati said. Dean and Seamas glanced warily at Lavender, but she just giggled and reached for another potsticker.

Seamas was considering going back to school. “Hermione’s been badgering me about it,” he said. “Says I have a talent for pyrotechnics, and there’s a whole major for fire magics at Brinxley.”

“What about you, Lav?” said Dean. “You still thinking about vet school?”

“What?”

“Oh, uh, that’s the Muggle word. Veterinarian– a medimagizoologist?”

“The schools aren’t too interested in a werewolf as a student,” Lavender said, shrugging.

“Not that that stops Hermione from showing up on the doorstep with half-penned anti-discrimination lawsuits she wants Lav to star in,” Parvati said.

“When does she sleep?” said Dean.

Little children asked about it in the street sometimes. “Mum, why’s her face like that?” “How come she’s walking all funny?”

Sometimes their parents turned to Lavender with eager bright eyes in the grocery store line, expecting her to answer. (“I got hurt, but I’m okay now.”) Sometimes they shushed their kids and gave her little apologetic half-smiles, glancing away from the raised lines of scar tissue. Sometimes they pulled their children closer to them and crossed to the other side of the street.

Harry Potter had a godson. Teddy Lupin was four the first time Lavender met him, just outside Gringotts. Teddy clung to Harry’s pants leg, peeking past his godfather’s hanging robe. “Why’d her face do that?” he said and Harry dropped a hand down into Teddy’s hair, which was bright green.

“She’s just like your dad,” said Harry.

“Puppy,” Teddy whispered, eyes wide with joy, and his skin shifted until scars stood out stark on his smiling chubby cheeks.

Lavender bit her lip and sank down to her knees in the street, holding out a hand. “Why aren’t you handsome, chickadee. What’s your name?”

Once, Lavender had wanted everyone to look at her.

She hated stories that told you to be careful what you wished for. Were you not supposed to want things? Was that the answer? She was nearly twenty two and she could make things fly with a few whispered words. She had lived through her seventh year at Hogwarts, had stepped out into that battle with her wand out and her eyes open. She had woken up–hurting, wounds tended, poison in her veins–to Parvati sleeping on Sybil’s shoulder at her bedside.

She had cried when they told her about the lycanthropy. She had cried over her bunny because a fox had gotten to it. Both times it had been with her face buried in Parvati’s shoulder and Parvati’s hands stroking her hair. She wished and she wanted– animals that never left you, bodies that never betrayed you.

Once, Lavender had wished that everyone would look at her, and now they were. Everyone was looking– so Lavender held Parvati’s hand in the grocery store at midnight, because they had both been craving green apples. Everyone was looking– so Lavender curled her hair and pinned it up, wore tank tops and little skirts on any day hot enough that she could get away with it, laughed aloud in public spaces. Everyone was looking– so Lavender knocked on Hermione Granger’s door one evening and asked, “What would it take to get me into magical vet school?”

Hermione had her bushy hair all tied back and a quill behind each ear. “A lot. There’s some statutes we’ve got to fight, and even if we can handle that you’ll still be under intense scrutiny for years.”

“I can work with that,” said Lavender, and Hermione grinned.

When Teddy marched down the aisle with the rings, his hair was a shimmering swirl of pink and purple to match the flowers woven into Parvati’s braids and Lavender’s curls.

The honeymoon would be short–a week in magical Paris in the townhouse of a Beauxbaton girl they’d befriended fourth year. Lavender had more medical textbooks packed into her luggage than anything else. Parvati’s bags were lined with half-finished reports that she’d owl to Auror headquarters from a rumpled Parisian morning, getting croissant crumbs in the bedsheets.

But for now the hall was filled with pink and purple blooms, white candles, familiar faces. Hermione stood in a violet bridesmaid’s dress, and Dean and Seamus in matching ties at Parvati and Lavender’s respective backs. Padma was luminescent with joy over Parvati’s shoulder. She had taken Lavender aside that morning for a short quiet walk in the mist and told her, “I know tonight’s what makes it official, but I’ve thought of you as my sister for years.”

When Lavender leaned forward and kissed her wife, her father burst into proud tears in the front row. He was a crier, always had been. Lavender buried her face in Parvati’s shoulder, smiling so hard she thought she might come apart. Her scars creased and puckered in her dimples, and she was beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

  • Pete: Hi
  • Brendon: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."

libbyangelofthelord  asked:

Steve and Bucky seeing what people call gangsters today and talk about the Irish and Italian mafia when they were growing up and how they got some money during hard times for doing some runs for the mafia

“Huh.”  Steve looks over to Bucky where he sits curled up in a deep, cozy papasan chair. “I don’t think we qualify anymore, Buck.”

Bucky hummed, cheeks stuffed full of popcorn.  

“I’m sorry, what?” Sam leaned forward in his seat. “You don’t qualify as what anymore?”  The anticipation on his face was incredible.

Bucky shrugged.  “’Snothin’. Steve n’I just did odd jobs back in the day.  Had to make ends meet, you know how it is.” 

Clint narrowed his eyes.  “Wait.  Waitwaitwait. Odd jobs.” He looked at the screen to the rolling credits of the movie they’d just watched and back to Steve and Bucky.  “Oh my God.  Is that your way of saying you were Old-Timey Gangsters?”

It was Steve’s turn to shrug.  “Not really.  Sort of. –I mean.  Officially, legally.  Illegally.  Yeah.”

Oh my God.”  Steve was pretty sure Sam was going to have a heart attack. “Why did I not know this?!”

Bucky wriggled around so he could face Sam better.  “It was prohibition for us.  People were still drinkin’.  Steve needed medicine and an honest job didn’t pay as much as we needed. So.”  He shrugged.

“So I managed logistics and Bucky did the literal heavy lifting. Not really that big a deal.” 

Clint was grinning a mile wide.  “This is so much better than I could imagine.  Steve, you had mob connections.”  

“Have.”

Bucky hummed.  

What?!”  Sam squeaked.  

Steve made a defenseless gesture.  “Families like that have long memories.  They know I’m alive.”  He nodded towards the bar.  “You think I buy my liquor?”

Bucky grinned.  “You always did ingratiate yourself.” He looked at Sam.  “He was their best-selling supplier Brooklyn had.  They owe him; he helped keep them in business long enough for for prohibition to end and for them to make real money.”  Bucky held up his glass and let Dum-E cart it over to the bar, smiling wickedly.  “Another whiskey.”  

Me as a parent
  • kid: mom tell me a story
  • me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."

do u ever get that feeling where its just “oh my god i love that person so much they make my life so bright and bring me so much happiness what did i ever even do to deserve them”

anonymous asked:

Jumin + MC who happens to share the same name as his pet (not necessarily be Elizabeth)? Other RFA members may join in for reactions.

Hello~!! I’m not sure if this is quite what you were asking for, but I went for the humorous side of things :3

– R.I.


CHATROOM – DAY 01

Yoosung: Ehh? Are you sure she’s trustworthy?

Seven: Yes yes, I’m already doing a background check on her and so far she seems wait what the- PFFT GYAHAHAHAHA

Seven: be back later omg lolololol what is this…?

Yoosung: what is what?!? Is there a funny photo of her or something? I want to see, I want to see!

Zen: OI!

Zen: Don’t invade her privacy like that! Anyways, what’s your name, mi’lady? I’m sure you have a wonderful name! Must be just as beautiful as yo-

You: Elizabeth the 3rd

Jumin: Oh, how did you know my cat’s name?

MC: What? No… that’s my name…

Yoosung: …

Zen:

Jumin: …

Jumin: I see. What a wonderful name.

Yoosung: OMG!! So THAT’S what Seven’s laughing about!!

Zen: God. I hope he’s not dead from laughing

Seven: still here let me st o ppp laughinasdfkljsdfj

Yoosung: Seven’s laughing so hard he’s having trouble typing!!

You: …

Zen: Oh! No, we’re not making fun of you, I swear! It’s just… your name is really uhm, unique.

Jumin: ?

Jumin: Why would we ever make fun of her for such an elegant name?

Zen: You, shut up.

BEHIND THE SCREENS:

Yoosung

  • I’m so shocked!!
  • Her name is the same as Jumin’s cat??
  • Such a coincidence…
  • Should I laugh? But no, I don’t want to be mean, I just met her…
  • But… pfft… oh no, I can’t stop laughing
  • -silently prays to God to forgive him for being a bad kid-

Zen

  • THIS IS AWFUL.
  • This wonderful lady shares the same name as that Trust Fund Kid’s cat?!?
  • This must be a joke or something
  • -exits the chatroom-
  • -re-enters the chatroom-
  • WHY IS IT STILL THERE?!
  • I-I mean… she has a wonderful name but… Trust Fund Kid’s cat…
  • GRRR. It’s all the Trust Fund Kid’s fault for his stupid naming sense!!

Jumin

  • She shares a name with the most beautiful lady in the world…
  • I wonder if she looks like Elizabeth the 3rd?
  • Hm. I must meet her at once.
  • Would she like to eat lobster…? It’s seafood, after all. Then again, it’s not fish…
  • Wait no, this is a human. Right.

Seven

  • -still dying of laughter-
  • Error 707: Reaction Unavailable
  • The Defender of Justice is currently laughing too hard. Please try again later.
Iconic Heathers The Musical Moments

• Thus ending her hangoverrrrrrr
• There’s been a lack of girls climbing in my bedroom window
• I was having my period
• HAHAHA…..haha…….haaaaaaaaaa…oH MY GOD!
• oh look, she was reading The Bell Jar GASP
• Man, how many networks did she run to?
• So……you avoided date rape…..by volunteering ME for date rape?
• coRN NUTS
• You’re making me sound like AIR SUPPLY
• oh my god, I just killed my best friend..
And your worst enemy
SAME DIFFERENCE
• Hellooooooooo, ssssssssslut
• I’m like oxygen, I’m everywhere
• I didn’t catch your name
I didn’t throw it
• I’m sorry, but I really had to wake you. I’ve decided I must ride you till I break you.
• Veronica? What are you doing in my room–?!
sh Sh SHHHHHHHHHHHHH
• Lick it up, baby. LICK. IT. UP.
• If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull I’d have two matching halves
• WELL F*** ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW
• THERES NO ALCOHOL IN THIS! Are you trying to poison me?
• That was one heck of a fishing trip
• By the wayyyyyy………..You were my first
• Awe..Thanks, Heather. But I don’t really need to vomit right now.
• -The fight scene when he completely misses and JD just shrugs-
• That’s really sweet–OH SON OF A B****
• ..I don’t really like my friends
I don’t like your friends either
• VERONICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
• SHUT UP, HEATHER
sorry, Heather…….
• I love my dead gay son
• If you were happy everyday of your life you wouldn’t be human, you’d be a game show host.

Playboy, bad boy Kim Taehyung

Originally posted by namjoonie00

Series genre: Smut, angst, fluff

Description: Kim Taehyung, one of the nastiest human beings you have ever been associated with. You despite even breathing the same air as him yet he still somehow finds a place in your life.

note: Park Jimin will also play a major role in this series. Also, this chapter will have some Harry Potter references that are not absolutely necessary to the story itself. Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Keep reading

Shit.

2,500 Followers Drabble

Prompt:  “Is it too soon to say that we’re fucked?”

Pairing: firefighter!Jensen x Reader

Requested: @atc74


You’re pacing frantically in front of the Austin Fire Station, doing your god damn best to not hyperventilate. The fact that you even made it here is a fucking miracle. You literally sat in your driveway for a good hour, stupidly turning the ignition on and off in your car.

Considering the predicament you’re in, you appear to be quite pulled together. You’re even donning clean clothes and light makeup, a vast improvement over the last few days.

So now here you are at your friend Jensen’s place of employment, meeting him to spill the news that has you in such a tizzy.

“Hey, hun.” Jensen somehow appears out of fucking nowhere, the sound of his simple greeting startling you.

Keep reading

Originally posted by stephen-amell

warning: don’t think there is any

A/N: please send in requests guys

**********

It was no secret that once upon a time Archie Andrews and Jughead Jones the third used to be friends, really close friends almost best even. But it was also no secret that you, Archie’s sister, was off limits. For this reason, Jughead and I decided on keeping our feelings from each other, from my brother and everyone else.

************************

Heavily making out, you and Jughead were laying on your bed supposed to be studying although it stopped abruptly when there was a knock on the door

“(Y/n)? I need your advice, may I come in?” we hear from the other side of the door. Thank god you and Archie agreed long ago to always knock on each other’s door in case the other was in a position that no sibling should see their other sibling in.

“Just a minute Arch” fixing your selves back as to make it look innocent, when you are both presentable you open the door

“What’s up Arch?” as innocently as possible

“Um. Yeah. Hey man just helping (y/n) with some studying” Jughead explains

“Oh ok”

“What did you need help with?” you ask hoping to get rid of him as soon as possible to get back in the arms of Jughead

“Don’t worry about it, it can wait” he leaves shortly after and you close the door behind him breathing a sigh of relief

“That was close” Jughead smiles you both laugh and Archie will never know.

SJM HATERS: try to prove to me that acomaf isn’t feministic, that tog series is the most terrible thing that has ever happened, that both manorian/rowaelin are abusive and derogratory to manon/aelin, that aeodion bisexuality wasn’t hinted in the books AND ON TOP OF THAT that i somehow can’t enjoy both sjm books and six of crows series

ME:……….did we even read the same books oh my god just stop please I CAN’T BELIEVE ITI CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE ITWOMEN BEING SUBMISSIVE IN BED DOESN’T MAKE THEM ABUSE VICTIMS!!!!  

IT’S NICE TO AUTHORS TO WRITE STORIES ABOUT LGBT+ COUPLES IT’S REALLY GREAT BUT THERE IS NO LAW THAT FORCES THEM TO DO THATTHE BOOK ISN’T INHERENTLY AUTOMATICALLY TERRIBLE IF THERE ARE NO LGBT+ COUPLES IN IT !!!! KILLING TWO POC DOESN’T MAKE A SERIES IN WHICH PEOPLE DIE ALL THE TIME BAD 

AND WHAT IS WITH AELIN HAS NO FEMALE FRIENDS? EXCUSE ME? NAHEMIA???? AFTER WHOM SHE WAS GRIEVING LIKE AFTER A DEATH OF LOVER??? LYSANDRA??? BTW LYSANDRA/AELIN RELATIONSHIP IS ONE OF THE BEST F/F FREINDSHIPS DEVELOPMENTS I’VE EVER SEEN BTW WHEN YOU'E BITCHING ABOUT AELIN - AELIN IS AN ABUSE VICTIM WHO HIDES HER WOUNDS UNDER ARROGANCE AND CONFIDENCE AND WHO IS HURTING AND HEALING AND STILL LEARNING TO BE BETTER ; WHO IS RUTHLESS BECAUSE SHE WAS BROUGHT TO BE THAT WAY BUT WHO STILL CARES FOR HER FRIENDS AND HER PEOPLE AND THE PROMISES SHE MAKESREMEMBER THE SLAVES SHE SAVED???? APPARENTLY NOT???? 

ALSO, HOW THE HELL SENDING CHAOL AND NERSYN OFF FOR ONE BOOK IS SUCH A BAD THING??? HE HAD HIS OWN ARC NOW?? HIS STAND ALONE BOOK??? IS IT REALLY THE WORST THING THAT COULD’VE HAPPENED TO HIM?? HOW IS NERSYN REDUCED TO LOVE INTEREST?? SHE’S YET ANOTHER AELIN’S FRIEND AND AN AMZING CHARACTER OF HER OWN??? WHERE DO YOU GET THOSE THINGS???

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON ACOMAFHOW SJM SHOWN HOW TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS AND PTSD WORK  - HOW SHE SHOWN M A L E  R A P E  V I C T I M AND F E M A L E  E M P O V E R M E N T ( FEYRE’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT??? MOR’S STORY??? )  AND MEANING OF FAMILY 

I’m really sorry for caps and for screaming. But I just can’t bear the fact that you call the author of the most feministic book I read in 2016 ( ACOMAF)  a literal homophopic racist transophobic ( how??? bc there are no trans ppl in her books, that makes her transophobic) and fake feminist. You may not like her books, you are free to enjoy whatever you want. But don’t throw around fake information just because you don’t like a certain ship or a character. 

SJM books aren’t perfect, because no books are truly perfect. But they’re damn good for me and don’t you try to paint me as a villan for this. 

2

Just A Dream

Characters: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 1k

A/N:  This is my TWENTY-FIRST Fic for my 30 Days of Jensen and Dean Fic-i-versary Celebration. The line requested was, “You always have a choice. You can either roll over and die, or you can keep fightn’ no matter what.” requested by @dreamingintheimpalawithdean  Thank you for celebrating with me! I’m also using a gif submitting by @thing-you-do-with-that-thing that she probably doesn’t even remember submitting. ;) I honestly don’t know where this came from. Just a bit of trash for your Saturday night. Hope you like it!

Feedback Appreciated 

Tags at the End

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@disney if kylo ren isn’t canonically in love w/ rey then you seriously messed up because you

  • wrote him so he acts completely illogically whenever Rey is present; stopping to carry her in his arms through a battlefield so he can’t defend himself, waiting for her to wake up so he can talk to her instead of just yanking the info from her unconscious mind, unmasking himself for no reason other than her implying she thinks he’s monstrous while he wears it, walking toward where she was unconscious in the middle of a goddamn fight with Finn for no apparent reason, not shoving her off of a cliff when he had the chance
  • had him completely trash Finn and Poe when in confrontations with them but then not leave a single scratch on Rey
  • HEY! HEY KYLO! REMEMBER YOUR SABER LOCK WITH FINN WHERE YOU BURNED HIM WITH THE CROSSGAURD? WHY DIDN’T YOU USE THAT WHEN YOU GOT INTO A LOCK WITH REY? WHY DIDN’T YOU PUNCH HER IN THE FACE LIKE YOU DID TO FINN? WHY
  • made them have similar goals and flaws as characters beyond what is typically expected for a protagonist/antagonist dynamic
  • cast a guy who makes doe eyes at her instead of murder death kill eyes like you would expect to see from the main antagonist like oh my god even in the saberlock he’s just looking at her with determination instead of hostility
  • again can i just.
  • the eyes
  • look at the way he looks at her

am i just imagining things? maybe. but man if i am i feel like i have plenty of reasons to do so based on all the shit kylo does (or in some cases doesn’t do)